All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S06E36 - My Fair Curtis WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,967 --> 00:00:03,967 * game time, game time, 2 00:00:03,967 --> 00:00:04,867 Game time * 3 00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:05,867 * game time, game time, 4 00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:07,967 Game time * 5 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:12,767 Uh! Uh! Cheese snacks, check. 6 00:00:12,767 --> 00:00:14,733 Prestained shirt, check. 7 00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:16,600 First half beer, check. 8 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,567 Second half beer, check. 9 00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,300 Overtime beer, check. 10 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,400 Drunk as hell beer, check. 11 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,767 Gonna have a hangover tomorrow, 12 00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:27,467 Check. 13 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,867 What's up, baby? 14 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:32,367 Oh, god, not again. 15 00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:35,200 Oh! 16 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:35,967 What's going on? 17 00:00:35,967 --> 00:00:36,867 Where's the beer you were 18 00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:37,667 Gonna bring? 19 00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:38,400 I-- you got plenty of beer 20 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:39,367 For both of us. 21 00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:40,300 Non-beer bringing friend, 22 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:40,967 Check. 23 00:00:40,967 --> 00:00:43,933 Well, yeah. You know me, but 24 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:45,067 In the immortal words of james 25 00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:47,167 Brown, "I feel good. Uh! Come 26 00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:49,300 On, ow!" 27 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,200 Well, all that's about to 28 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:50,833 Change. 29 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:51,567 How do you figure? 30 00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:52,467 There's a moose in my 31 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:53,167 Kitchen. 32 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,033 Ella? 33 00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:56,100 I'll punch you in your face. 34 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,633 You all mean to ella. 35 00:00:57,633 --> 00:00:58,567 Claretha? 36 00:00:58,567 --> 00:00:59,633 Thank you. 37 00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:03,067 Oh. Woo! So what? Ok. 38 00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:04,233 So ever since she kicked you 39 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:05,567 To the curb like an empty beer 40 00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:06,933 Can, you been running around 41 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,967 Here crying like a little beah! 42 00:01:09,967 --> 00:01:10,833 It's time for one of those 43 00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:14,900 Beers! Uh...I'll take this one. 44 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:15,967 But you know what, bro? 45 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:16,800 Claretha ain't nothing 46 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,133 But like an old train, I'm 47 00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:19,367 Telling you. She's gone and 48 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:20,700 Moved on and everything, 49 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:21,700 But you know, there will be 50 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,600 Another train come along. 51 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,400 Huh. 52 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,133 Hopefully one with a bigger 53 00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:25,633 Caboose. Choo-choo! 54 00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:26,433 Chuga-luga. 55 00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:27,233 Ha! 56 00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:28,067 That's what I'm talking 57 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:28,833 About. 58 00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:29,767 Got that right. 59 00:01:29,767 --> 00:01:30,500 Man, you had me worried at 60 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,100 First. 61 00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:31,767 About what? 62 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:32,633 Well, it's good to see you 63 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:33,467 Coming back to your senses, 64 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:34,300 Floyd. 65 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,433 Never left. 66 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:36,367 I don't even know what you 67 00:01:36,367 --> 00:01:37,433 Saw in that old bat in the first 68 00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,467 Place. 69 00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:41,833 Blame it on the alcohol. I 70 00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:43,067 Run this, though, you know what 71 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:46,433 I'm saying? Oh, baby! I miss you 72 00:01:46,433 --> 00:01:47,800 So much! Please don't leave me 73 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,433 No more. Please let me come 74 00:01:49,433 --> 00:01:54,267 Back home! Claretha, claretha. 75 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:55,733 The only thing we taking back 76 00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:57,167 Is your membership card to the 77 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,833 Men's club. You are an 78 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:02,267 Embarrassment. You're bringing 79 00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,933 Shame to men everywhere. 80 00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:06,700 Baby, please, I throw myself 81 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:08,300 On the mercy of the court. 82 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,333 And the court finds you 83 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:12,067 Guilty. Your sentence--life 84 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:14,967 Without claretha. 85 00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:15,800 Floyd, you've just been 86 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,833 Pardoned. Shawshank! 87 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,333 Curtis...Don't do that. Now, 88 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,533 They were once in love. 89 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,933 Ok. Well, baby, I love a good 90 00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,500 Bag of cheese curls, but you 91 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,467 Ain't gonna find me cuddled up 92 00:02:26,467 --> 00:02:28,633 With one at night. 93 00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:30,400 Curtis, I saw you cuddled up 94 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,433 With a big bag of cheese curls 95 00:02:32,433 --> 00:02:33,567 Last night. 96 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:34,767 No, baby, I call you my bag 97 00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,833 Of pork rinds. 98 00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:39,633 Ha ha! 99 00:02:39,633 --> 00:02:41,667 Curtis, we are not talking 100 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,467 About me. We're talking about 101 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,300 Claretha. 102 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,167 And I'm leaving. 103 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,433 Good. 104 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:48,433 Please don't leave. 105 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:50,633 Oh, floyd, please. 106 00:02:50,633 --> 00:02:53,500 Please don't go. Seriously. 107 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,900 Don't be the one that got away! 108 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:56,733 You still have your dignity, 109 00:02:56,733 --> 00:02:58,333 Floyd. It's right over here on 110 00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:00,067 The floor where you left it next 111 00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:02,633 To your manhood. Oops. They both 112 00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:06,500 Just rolled under the couch. 113 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,600 [ siren ] 114 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,400 [ horn honks ] 115 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,467 [ tires screech ] 116 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,400 Come on, come on, come on. 117 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,900 Yes! Yes! Huh? Huh? Did you 118 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,533 See that catch? Uh! One-handed, 119 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:25,600 Both feet in bounds. Uh! Ha ha! 120 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:31,833 Yeah. Uh, uh. Ha ha! 121 00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:34,400 What the hell are you two doing? 122 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:40,167 Come on, guys, this is football! 123 00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,067 Janine and I... 124 00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,767 I miss claretha so much. 125 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:45,600 Is that--shut up. That was a 126 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,567 Rhetorical question. You don't 127 00:03:46,567 --> 00:03:50,200 Think I actually care, do you? 128 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,067 Hell, I can't even watch the 129 00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:52,400 Game with you two moping around 130 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,600 Like this. Come on! 131 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,833 Ok, I'm desperate. 132 00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:58,800 I can't believe I'm gonna say 133 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,567 This. 134 00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:04,933 Move. 135 00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:08,467 All right, ladies, let's talk. 136 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:09,200 Forget it. 137 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:09,900 I don't feel like talking 138 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,967 About nothing right now. 139 00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:14,333 Good. Then let's please enjoy 140 00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:21,633 The game, ok? 141 00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:22,933 It's just that my boss is 142 00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:24,067 Trying to force me to sleep with 143 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,633 Her. 144 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,233 Is she cute? 145 00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:30,267 Yes. Very. 146 00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:31,067 Then what's the problem? 147 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,900 Finding time? I'll trade 148 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,067 Problems with you. 149 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,567 Hey, c.J., I can't believe 150 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,367 You're afraid to tell janine 151 00:04:37,367 --> 00:04:41,067 About maxine. Come on, man, you 152 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,333 Got to beat maxine at her own 153 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,233 Game, huh? The only way to 154 00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:46,600 Outfox a fox... 155 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:47,833 Is to stay out of the fox's 156 00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:48,800 Den. 157 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,700 How would you know? You've 158 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,400 Been in the den 4 times. 159 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,467 Twice. Well, 3 if the 160 00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:55,967 Government ever recognizes cuba 161 00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:57,700 Again. 162 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:58,633 You need to stay out of it. 163 00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:01,867 You still want...Can you believe 164 00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:02,733 It's still hard for me to say 165 00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:06,667 Her name? Clare--claretha. 166 00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:07,933 Look, curtis, I want to spend 167 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,167 The rest of my life with 168 00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:11,167 Claretha. 169 00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:11,867 You must be praying for a 170 00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:12,967 Short life. 171 00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:14,400 If I don't get her back, I'm 172 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,500 Gonna have to keep coming over 173 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,400 Here, leaning and crying on my 174 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,467 Best friend's shoulder, and 175 00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:21,700 Drinking up all of his beer! 176 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,067 Wow. It's incredible. 177 00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:24,900 What? 178 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:25,700 It's like all of a sudden, I 179 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,433 Like claretha. She's good 180 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:29,900 People. And I'm gonna help you 181 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,700 Get her back. 182 00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:32,700 How you gonna do that? 183 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,067 Please. How you think I got 184 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,833 Ella? With just my billy dee 185 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,067 Williams good looks? 186 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,700 Ha ha! Billy dee. 187 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,333 That's not a joke. You need 188 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,900 To go talk to janine about 189 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,567 Maxine. 190 00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,700 Yes, sir. 191 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,333 And you... 192 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,400 Me and ella are gonna teach you 193 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,667 And your pet some new tricks... 194 00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,833 At dinner tomorrow night. 195 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:56,700 But for right now, we gonna 196 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,967 Watch the gizame! Huh? 197 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,967 This is football, so sit down, 198 00:06:00,967 --> 00:06:02,500 And come on, y'all, let's enjoy 199 00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,133 The game. 200 00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:04,267 Woo! 201 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:05,567 Oh, man, yeah, that was a 202 00:06:05,567 --> 00:06:06,233 Great tackle. 203 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,067 Wasn't that nice? 204 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:07,900 Yeah, that was nice. 205 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:08,867 Wow. 206 00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:11,133 And cut. 207 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:11,967 You might want to wait for the 208 00:06:11,967 --> 00:06:16,667 Commercial to go off. 209 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:18,800 Janine, you are not gonna 210 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,567 Like what I've got to say, but 211 00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:23,333 I'm your man, and I know you 212 00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,300 Love your job, but you got to 213 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:29,800 Quit. End of story. Maxine is 214 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,767 Poison. What? Oh, now you ain't 215 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:34,633 Got nothing to say. Well, 216 00:06:34,633 --> 00:06:35,500 Listen, let me tell you 217 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,333 Something, baby. 218 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:37,300 Hey, baby. 219 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,867 Hey, hey. 220 00:06:38,867 --> 00:06:39,700 What is bruno doing out here? 221 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,567 Oh, I was just working on my 222 00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,367 Jump shot, you know, for when I 223 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:45,667 Play ball with the fellas. 224 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:48,467 Oh. Ok. 225 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:49,767 No, seriously, baby, I need 226 00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:50,900 To talk to you. 227 00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:51,900 Actually I wanted to talk to 228 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:52,567 You, too, honey. 229 00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,133 [ knock on door ] 230 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,567 Did you tell him yet? 231 00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:57,200 No. 232 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,533 Oh, good. Ha! 233 00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:00,967 What's she doing here? 234 00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:02,067 What's my boss doing here? 235 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:02,933 What's my boss doing here? I 236 00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:03,933 Don't know. I don't know. Maybe 237 00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,067 She is here to share a little 238 00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:06,700 Bit of good news, huh, boss? 239 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,833 Ha ha ha ha! 240 00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:09,667 Ok, ok. 241 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,500 Ok, ok. 242 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,467 All right, um, janine is 243 00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:13,667 Going to fly to phoenix to 244 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,600 Represent the district at a 245 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,133 National fireman's conference. 246 00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,800 Uh-huh! It's tomorrow! 247 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,867 Isn't this exciting? 248 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:21,700 Wow. So you two are going out 249 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,333 Of town? 250 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,567 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not 251 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:24,633 Going. 252 00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:25,633 Just me, just me. And I know 253 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:26,467 It's quick, sweetheart, but you 254 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:27,400 Have miss wilhemina. She can 255 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,433 Help you around here. 256 00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:29,433 Oh, I'm sure c.J. Can take 257 00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:30,700 Care of everything just fine. 258 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,967 Yeah. Baby, this is such a 259 00:07:31,967 --> 00:07:33,567 Big break. And maxine really 260 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:34,400 Thinks I can handle this. 261 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,200 Ah, she's a natural. Ha ha. 262 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,467 Well, that's--that's great. 263 00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:39,367 I told you he'd think so. I'm 264 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:40,400 Gonna go get those notes. 265 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,233 Oh, ok. Take your time. 266 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,400 I got to run. 267 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,267 Ok. 268 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:47,633 [ c.J. Sighs ] 269 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,467 It's perfect. Janine can go 270 00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:50,700 To all of these meetings, we'll 271 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,367 Know exactly where she is, 272 00:07:52,367 --> 00:07:55,500 Far away, unable to get right 273 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,067 Back home. 274 00:07:58,067 --> 00:07:59,600 Look, maxine, this has gone 275 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,700 Far enough, ok? As soon as my 276 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,067 Wife comes back down those 277 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,267 Stairs, I'm gonna tell her 278 00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,067 Everything, all right? 279 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,067 I don't care if you accuse me of 280 00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,067 Backdating those reports, I 281 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,833 Don't care if I get fired, but 282 00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,067 Nothing is worse than playing 283 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,200 This game. 284 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,567 Really? You're just gonna 285 00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,167 Step over your wife's dreams 286 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:15,767 Just like that? 287 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,300 She'll find other dreams. 288 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,467 Oh, no, no, no. You can mess 289 00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:20,067 Up her dreams, but you will not 290 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,800 Mess up my fantasy. I did a 291 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,800 Brazilian wax. 292 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,400 Yeah. You're not gonna do 293 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,633 Anything. You're not gonna do 294 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,433 Anything except free up a little 295 00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,367 Time for us. Now, stop playing 296 00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:35,967 Around. Ooh. 297 00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:37,633 All right, I'm ready. 298 00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:38,733 Ahem. 299 00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:40,600 Janine, I was just showing 300 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,567 C.J. The brochure. 301 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,600 Oh, my gosh, I haven't even 302 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,067 Seen this yet. Oh, look at the-- 303 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:46,633 Uh-huh. 304 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:47,467 Janine, I need to talk to 305 00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:48,400 You. 306 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,733 Baby, listen, maxine has me 307 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:50,700 Running. Can we talk when I get 308 00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:51,533 Back later? 309 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:52,267 Janine... 310 00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:55,933 Ok, ok, ok. Listen, baby, 311 00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:57,267 Thank you for letting me do 312 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:58,367 This. I promise I'm going to 313 00:08:58,367 --> 00:08:59,800 Make you so proud of me. 314 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,133 Baby, I'm already proud of 315 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,833 You. 316 00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,267 Thank you. 317 00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:07,267 Love you. 318 00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:08,633 Ah, tomorrow's gonna be so 319 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,533 Exciting! Ok, bye, baby. 320 00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:12,467 Ha ha! It certainly is. 321 00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:18,800 Oh, so you act like we in a 322 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,400 Restaurant, ok? Can you do that? 323 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,233 All right. 324 00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,067 You want to pull my chair 325 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:23,867 Out, please? 326 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,067 Sure, honey. 327 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:26,967 And don't call me honey. We 328 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,267 Ain't together yet. You're 329 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:29,533 Trying to impress me. 330 00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:31,367 Ok, I'm sorry. Let me push 331 00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:35,533 Your stool. 332 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:39,467 Sit the hell down. 333 00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:41,667 Ok, now women like men who can 334 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,767 Speak different languages and 335 00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:43,667 Stuff. 336 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:44,767 Ok. 337 00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:46,800 Ok, so order from the menu in 338 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,667 A different language. 339 00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:50,933 Ok. Let's try french. 340 00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:53,867 Uh, oui, oui. I would like to 341 00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,833 Have the french bread, the 342 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:57,133 French fries, and the french 343 00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:58,667 Toast. 344 00:09:58,667 --> 00:09:59,400 You know what, really? 345 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,033 What? 346 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:00,767 I'm gonna bust you in your 347 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,367 Head. 348 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,100 Why? You already did it 4 349 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:02,900 Times. 350 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:03,867 Yeah, but I'm saying... 351 00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:06,433 Ok, new plan. Me and ella, we're 352 00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:07,200 Gonna help you tomorrow night. 353 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:07,967 You're gonna have dinner with 354 00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:08,833 Us. 355 00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:09,833 Whew, yes. 356 00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:10,833 Ok? Now, I'm gonna write down 357 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,700 Everything that you need to say 358 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:13,700 To claretha. 359 00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,333 Cool, cool. That'll work. 360 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,600 Wait, who's gonna read it? 361 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,367 I'm gonna draw pictures. 362 00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:21,200 Oh, I love pictures. 363 00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,767 Hello, handsome. 364 00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:33,867 Oh. No, that's nobody, baby. 365 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:37,700 Uh-huh. Yeah. You get to the 366 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,933 Airport yet? Yeah. The twins are 367 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:45,100 Down. Uh, "Don't do anything you 368 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,933 Wouldn't do." that's funny. Ha! 369 00:10:46,933 --> 00:10:49,967 You crazy. 370 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:52,067 Huh? Yeah. I love you, too, 371 00:10:52,067 --> 00:10:56,633 Baby. Ok. 372 00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:57,900 All right. I'll see you when you 373 00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:01,067 Get back. Bye. 374 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:02,233 Maxine! 375 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:04,300 Excuse me, mr. Fireman, do 376 00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,967 You think you could put out this 377 00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:08,333 Fire? 378 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,567 Maxine, are you crazy? 379 00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:10,367 What are you-- 380 00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:13,500 Oh, I'm burning up. Ooh! Ooh! 381 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,067 Ooh! 382 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:16,967 My twins are in the next 383 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,067 Room. You got to get out of 384 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,833 Here. 385 00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,500 Oh, oh, oh, then we better be 386 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,633 Quiet, and I'll try not to make 387 00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:24,967 You scream. 388 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:27,400 Scream? Back off, maxine. 389 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,967 Ha ha. What? You're not 390 00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:29,833 Afraid of a little danger, are 391 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:30,500 You? 392 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:31,667 Oof! 393 00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:32,467 Your name is payne, isn't it? 394 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,067 Maxine, you got to... 395 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:36,467 Ha ha! And you do find me 396 00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:37,333 Attractive, don't you? 397 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,200 I bet you there's a lot of 398 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,500 Guys out there that find you 399 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,433 Attractive, but I just -- 400 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,333 Ooh... 401 00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,867 So let's just do this. 402 00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:47,133 Oh, you want to do this. You 403 00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:48,300 Really want to do this. 404 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:48,933 Mm-hmm. 405 00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:50,100 Listen, what if janine finds 406 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,700 Out? 407 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,333 I won't tell if you won't. 408 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,367 [ c.J. Chuckles ] 409 00:11:54,367 --> 00:11:55,400 You won't have to. I'm right 410 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,067 Here. 411 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,633 Oh! Oh! Janine, uh, you're 412 00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,967 Supposed to be at the airport. 413 00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,267 Nope, nope. I think I needed 414 00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:03,867 To be right here. C.J. Was 415 00:12:03,867 --> 00:12:05,067 Telling me what you were up to, 416 00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:07,200 But you know, I just had to see 417 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,800 How nasty you were for myself. 418 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,933 I told her, real nasty. 419 00:12:09,933 --> 00:12:11,767 You know what... 420 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:12,400 You set me up. 421 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,500 Ha ha. 422 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,700 Ha ha. Ha ha. 423 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:16,667 You know you're both out of a 424 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,067 Job, right? 425 00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,533 There's only one person here 426 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:20,767 Who won't be showing up for work 427 00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,733 On monday morning. 428 00:12:22,733 --> 00:12:24,733 Oh. And you two think that 429 00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:25,500 Everyone is gonna believe you 430 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,533 Over me? 431 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:27,767 No, but I'm pretty sure 432 00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:28,900 They'll believe this disk. 433 00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:29,800 The disk. 434 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,067 You remember this disk, 435 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,167 The disk that my uncle shot. 436 00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:33,067 The one where you admit to 437 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:34,067 Everything? 438 00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,667 No, but h-how did you get-- 439 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,567 Come closer. Come get it. 440 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,867 I don't want to fight. Let's 441 00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:39,300 Not get ugly, ok? 442 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,400 I was your assistant, maxine. 443 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,533 I had access to everything 444 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,300 In your office. Plus, I'm a 445 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,700 Suspicious wife, and you are a 446 00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:45,900 Slut of a boss. 447 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:46,567 Oh, oh, oh. 448 00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:47,300 A slut. 449 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,267 Janine, please, let's not get 450 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:48,933 Ugly. 451 00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:49,767 If I ever catch you around my 452 00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:52,467 Man again, I will hurt you. 453 00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,700 I'm from the streets. 454 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:54,533 She's from the streets. 455 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:58,167 Ok. All right, ok. Ok, ok. 456 00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:00,667 Hardball. I get it. But everyone 457 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,700 Has a price, right? So let's say 458 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,067 That, uh, janine, you get a 459 00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:08,933 Promotion, and c.J., you get a 460 00:13:08,933 --> 00:13:09,767 Big raise. 461 00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:10,433 A big raise? 462 00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:11,300 Yes. 463 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:11,967 How much of a raise? 464 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:13,800 C.J. Payne. 465 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:14,900 You know what? You better 466 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:15,767 Raise up out of here, that's 467 00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:16,500 What I'm saying. 468 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,400 Are you--do you really--well, 469 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:22,800 Ok. Uh, I'm leaving. But, c-- 470 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:23,633 Ok, maybe you didn't 471 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:25,067 Understand. Get the hell out. 472 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:25,867 Ok. 473 00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:26,633 Let me get the door for you. 474 00:13:26,633 --> 00:13:27,267 Get out. 475 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:27,867 Get the hell out. 476 00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,133 All right. 477 00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:33,833 Oh! 478 00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:35,167 Well, you--boy, you was about 479 00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:36,867 To tear her up. 480 00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,900 You invited fake phil? 481 00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,933 Baby, this is the start of my 482 00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:47,233 Operation hook a heifer. 483 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,333 Operation hook who? 484 00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:52,700 Look, fake phillip, he's 485 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,933 Gonna insult the heifer, and 486 00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,367 Floyd is gonna come to her 487 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:57,500 Rescue, and then he'll be her 488 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,900 Hero. Duh. 489 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,567 Oh, baby, so floyd is 490 00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:01,933 Supposed to be captain save a 491 00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,733 Heifer? I mean, now you got me 492 00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,267 Saying it. 493 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,133 Baby, just trust me, ok? Have 494 00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:10,100 I ever let you down before? 495 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:13,933 Recently? Today? In the last 496 00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:14,767 30 seconds? 497 00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:16,267 Hmm. 498 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,433 Look, just sit you over there 499 00:14:17,433 --> 00:14:19,200 In the damn chair. 500 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,067 Get over there and sit in 501 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,833 The damn chair! 502 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:25,100 I'll pull your chair out. 503 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:29,800 Sit down. Sit it down! 504 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:30,500 Scoot it, scoot it. 505 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,367 Well, then scoot. You got to 506 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:31,967 Scoot! 507 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:35,100 Ok, that's too far. 508 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:38,233 So, how are you two doing? 509 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:39,267 Great. 510 00:14:39,267 --> 00:14:42,333 Terrible. I want to stab him. 511 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,533 Huh. 512 00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:46,167 Uh, psst. Zee heifer is 513 00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:49,200 Ready. 514 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,267 Well, is everything all right 515 00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:52,600 With your dinner? 516 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,967 [ choking ] 517 00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,333 Is that a criticism of the food, 518 00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:58,500 Madam or are you coughing up a 519 00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,233 Hair ball? 520 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:01,767 Oh. That's rude. 521 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,433 Pardon, madam. Are you 522 00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:05,700 Coughing up a hair ball, madam? 523 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,667 [ choking ] 524 00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:09,067 Look here, french toast, you're 525 00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,533 About to cause an international 526 00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:11,233 Incident. 527 00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:13,267 Oh, with an outfit like this, 528 00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,267 Uh, you look more like an 529 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,767 International accident. 530 00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:17,500 Oh...Curtis... 531 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,467 Baby, relax. It's part of zee 532 00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:20,067 Plan. 533 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:23,267 Oh. Ok. 534 00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:24,667 Hey, you gonna eat your 535 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:25,833 Cornbread? 536 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:26,800 Ha ha! 537 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,900 Pass the butter. 538 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,567 Uh, the butter? Oh, perhaps 539 00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:30,933 You can scrape some off of 540 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:31,967 Madam's teeth-- 541 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:35,733 Oh! The only thing that's 542 00:15:35,733 --> 00:15:37,467 Gonna get scraped is you up off 543 00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:38,500 The floor. 544 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,333 Madam... 545 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,233 Curtis, you better do 546 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,067 Something. 547 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:41,700 Madam.. 548 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:42,367 Look, come on, now. 549 00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:43,067 What? 550 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:43,700 Would you do something, 551 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,600 Please? 552 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,433 I ain't getting in front of 553 00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:46,267 No dog fight. That's how you get 554 00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:46,900 Bit. 555 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:47,933 Curtis. Oh, my god! 556 00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:48,733 He's down! 557 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,100 Oh, curtis, don't look now. 558 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,800 She's killing him. 559 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,567 Monsieur payne, monsieur 560 00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:53,400 Payne... 561 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,167 Excuse me, we're trying-- 562 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:54,833 We're trying to have a 563 00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,067 Conversation. No, seriously-- 564 00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:56,900 Floyd, would you do 565 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:57,567 Something? 566 00:15:57,567 --> 00:15:58,200 My mouth is full. 567 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,467 Stop! S'il vous plait. 568 00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:00,333 She don't play! She don't 569 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,367 Play! Curtis. 570 00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:02,200 Mr. Payne, I'm sorry. 571 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,533 Look, I didn't mean to do it. 572 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:04,567 He made me do it. He made me be 573 00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:05,200 Rude. 574 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,333 You? 575 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,233 You snitch! 576 00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:11,500 Wait. Claretha, I've never 577 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,400 Seen that man before a day 578 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,500 In my life. 579 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,733 Mr. Payne, look, this is not 580 00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:17,300 Worth a ride on the fire engine. 581 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:18,167 I quit. 582 00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:19,367 Wait a minute. Curtis, 583 00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,500 Curtis... 584 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:22,900 Baby, hey! 585 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,933 Step out, step out. 586 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,833 Wait, baby, hold up! Wait, 587 00:16:25,833 --> 00:16:26,733 Baby, I didn't tell you how good 588 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:28,100 You look under the moonlight. 589 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,367 Oh! 590 00:16:30,367 --> 00:16:34,533 Baby... 591 00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:37,733 Sweetheart... 592 00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:40,333 He did it for me. 593 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:40,700 He did it for me. 594 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,800 I figured you were in on it. 595 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,100 See, baby, the moment-- 596 00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:46,767 [ coughs ] 597 00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:48,200 Excuse me. 598 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,967 [ clears throat ] 599 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:53,400 Hmm. See, curtis knew how much I 600 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,833 Was hurting, claretha. Baby, I 601 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,067 Want you back. 602 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:58,700 Huh. Good luck with that. 603 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:02,667 No, seriously. Baby, look, 604 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:06,067 Ever since you left, I mean, 605 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,067 When vernita came back, I was 606 00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:11,600 Confuzed. Confused. It's the 607 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,367 Rice pilaf. 608 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,200 And then when she came 609 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,233 Back and everything, I--and then 610 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,167 You left, and it all just hit me 611 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:22,100 Like a ton of chicks...Bricks. 612 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:22,833 I ought to pick up a brick 613 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,067 Right now and hit you. 614 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:25,367 Baby, don't be like that. 615 00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,400 Oh. 616 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,067 Oh, I just miss you so much. 617 00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:31,067 No, look. I know right now that 618 00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,933 That's what I love about you and 619 00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:36,167 How you love me. See, I want to 620 00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:43,067 Be that man for me. I mean, for 621 00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:49,667 Us. The hell with it. 622 00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:51,933 I want you back. Baby, I want 623 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,400 You back. 624 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,333 Oh. 625 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:03,533 See, baby, this is usually 626 00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:04,267 The part of the movie where I 627 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:05,533 Go get my $10 back. 628 00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,667 Shut up, curtis. 629 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:12,633 Yeah, be quiet, baby. 630 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,300 I love you, floyd. 631 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,933 Oh...I love you, too. 632 00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:18,533 Mmm. 633 00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:19,533 You know what? I just got to 634 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,600 Know. 635 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,067 Ok, claretha, once and for all, 636 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:23,733 Is this a wig? 637 00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:28,067 Oh! I always have a backup. 638 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,167 You sly player! 639 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,900 She was a girl scout. 640 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:32,867 Man, I'm starting to like 641 00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:33,700 Her. 642 00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,367 Hey, now that claretha and I 643 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,467 Are back together, you know, 644 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:38,467 Maybe the 4 of us can spend a 645 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:39,900 Little bit more time together. 646 00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:40,767 No, now that you two are 647 00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:42,167 Together, maybe y'all can spend 648 00:18:42,167 --> 00:18:43,300 A little time alone. 649 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:44,600 Why? 650 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,400 Look, here's your piggy bag. 651 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,533 Oh. 652 00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:48,800 Take that. And take the baby 653 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,067 To a nice park for a picnic! 654 00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,400 Oh, man, come on. 655 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,867 You can make it a dog park. 656 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:55,900 Bye, claretha. 657 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,567 Bye. 658 00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,333 And wait. Don't forget your 659 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,833 Flea collar...For your mutt. 660 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,933 Now to the business at hand. 661 00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:09,267 [ babbling ] 40570

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