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Uh, the rabbit goes around
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The tree, goes in the hole.
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The rabbit goes back to the
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Tree, hole.
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The rabbit goes --
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Curtis, now, baby, you said
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We gonna be late.
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Baby, you scared the rabbit!
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Now I got to start over.
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Curtis, you don't even need a
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Tie, baby.
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You're fine.
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Well, fine isn't good enough,
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Ella, okay?
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Now, baby, we finally got a
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Table at le pompier.
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We're finally celebrating our
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32nd anniversary, okay?
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I'm shooting for perfect.
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Curtis, we have really
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Already celebrated.
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We got locked out, canceled
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Le pompier.
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We had a wonderful meal in the
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Backyard already.
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But, baby --
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"But" nothing, okay?
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No more "Buts."
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We're gonna have an evening you
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Will never forget.
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We're going to laugh!
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[ laughs ]
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[ laughs ]
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We're going to cry.
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[ both imitate crying ]
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We're gonna have the single
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Greatest evening of our life.
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No pressure.
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Okay. Oh!
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Come on, rabbit!
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Get in the hole!
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Oh, curtis.
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Baby, you don't even need the
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Tie.
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You're right.
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Rabbit, stay home.
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Come on, baby, let's go.
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I don't want to be late.
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Come on.
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Curtis, that's what I've been
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Saying.
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Doors locked?
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Doors locked.
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Shut the door behind you,
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Baby.
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I got it. I got it.
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Oh, curtis, do you have your
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Keys?
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Yes, baby, they right there
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On the table.
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Ah!
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[ laughs ] Just kidding!
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Got you!
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You thought I was gonna forget
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Them.
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I owe you one.
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Oh, don't you look nice?
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Thank you.
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All right, fellas, jazzy and the
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Twins are at grandma liz's.
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We are going to a movie and then
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Possibly to dinner, so it may be
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A late night, okay?
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Mr. And mrs. Payne, please,
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No worries.
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Young malik and myself will be
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Watching a documentary about
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"Brown vs. The board of
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Education" on tv tonight.
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You are right.
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He is a black eddie haskell.
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Who's eddie haskell?
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Never mind. Good night.
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Good night, guys.
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[ laughs ]
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You guys, you know, have a fine,
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Blessed evening.
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[ laughs ]
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Yeah.
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[ laughs ]
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So, uh, where do they keep the
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Booze?
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No, look -- we're not
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Drinking, okay?
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We're playing video games.
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Is there a law that says you
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Can't do both?
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Yeah, actually, there is a
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Law, and the law is, if my folks
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Find out we drink, we're dead.
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Aw, come on, man.
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It's a tradition as old as time.
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Caveman dad and caveman mom go
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Out, leaving the caveman
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Teenagers alone at the cave.
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Caveman teenagers sneak the
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Berry juice.
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Yeah, and then caveman dad
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Finds out, and caveman son can't
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Use the wheel, which he
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Invented, for 6 months.
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[ chuckles ]
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Aha.
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You know what?
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I seen this.
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This is one of those horrible
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After-school specials, yeah.
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You're the bad child who finds
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The liquor.
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I'm the honor student who just
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Happens to get on with the thing
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And everything.
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He gets drunk and then pass out
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In the kitchen, bangs his head
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On the trash can --bam! -- dies
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The night before graduation.
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You know the funny thing
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About that story is your grades
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Ain't even that good.
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See? Check it.
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Your dad put a pencil mark on
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The label.
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See? He expects us to find this.
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Here.
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Check it.
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And how do you expect he
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Won't know?
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Come on, now, malik.
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It's gin. It's clear.
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We'll add water to whatever we
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Don't drink.
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Okay.
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That might actually be the first
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Smart thing you've said all
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Night.
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Fine, maybe just a little, just
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A little.
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A little? A little smirs?
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I got you. I got you.
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So, uh, what do you have to mix
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It with?
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Uh, let me see what we got.
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All right, we have grape soda
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And a jar of pickle juice.
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Uh, yeah, I'm going for a
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Grape soda.
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All right. Well, look -- just
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Don't spill any on the couch
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'cause my mom will go nuts.
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Are you gonna be this big a
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Baby when I kick your butt in
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Basketball?
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Okay, now, how many times
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Have we played this game?
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'cause that's how many times
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I've owned you.
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How about we turn this into a
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Little drinking game, huh?
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[ chuckles ] Gin and juice.
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You feel me?
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All right, let's see.
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Other guy takes a sip after
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Every 3-pointer and chugs what's
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In his glass when he gets dunked
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On.
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All right, well, since you
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Suck, what can possibly go
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Wrong?
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It is on, malik.
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Yeah, that's right.
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I'm malik, and you the short
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Yellow bus, 'cause I'm about to
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Take you to school.
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Baby, everything is in
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French.
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Well, I know. I know.
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Hey, ain't got to worry about
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That.
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You know I took french in high
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School.
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Hey, baby, look at these
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Prices.
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Ella --
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[ french accent ] Ooh!
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And look at the pretty flower
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And the linen napkins.
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Oh, and our shiny knives and
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Forks.
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Oh, is this your first time in
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The big city?
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[ chuckles ] Excuse me?
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Welcome to le pompier,
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Lucky people.
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My name is phillipe.
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Hey, he talking all sweet.
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I'm gonna tell you something --
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No matter what you say in
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French, it's so pretty.
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"Phillipe"!
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Hey, say this for me -- "The
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Check is in the mail."
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Say that.
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Madame, your drink?
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Um...I'll just have water for
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Right now, thank you.
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And would you like to pretend
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To look at the wine list, or
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Shall we just call off the whole
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Charade and I'll bring you a
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Domestic beer?
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In the bottle. Thank you.
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Merci to the beaucoup.
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He's a little too doggone good.
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These prices are out of this
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World.
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Curtis, this is -- this is so
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Expensive, baby.
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Look -- I want you to stop
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Looking at the prices, okay?
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Look here, baby -- just for one
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Night, never mind the cost.
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[ cries ]
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What happened?
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What? Are you choking?
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That was the most romantic
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Thing you have ever said to me.
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[ chuckles ]
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Baby, I'm in the best restaurant
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In atlanta with my bestest girl.
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And can I please say, you look
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So beautiful tonight.
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Oh!
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[ crying ] Curtis, thank you.
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Okay. Never mind the cost.
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I'm beautiful.
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Okay, people are starting to
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Stare.
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Oh, god.
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Hallelujah!
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Oh, there she goes.
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I just can't take it.
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Oh, god. Oh.
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Baby?
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Where is he?
255
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Can I please have some more
256
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Water?
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Please, someone.
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Curtis, how long does it take?
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[ sighs ]
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Ah, man! I miss this.
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Miss what?
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This, us talking.
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Seriously, we should talk more.
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Seriously, yeah.
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Seriously, man, I used to
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Tell you everything.
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You know that, malik?
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You were my best, best friend.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And see, you are my best, best,
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Best friend.
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[ laughs ]
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That's three times.
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Yeah.
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You got it, man.
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You got it.
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I'm gonna tell you something.
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You know, look at me.
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Look at me.
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I am looking at you.
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No!
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Look at me.
283
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I'm gonna tell you something,
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And the only person I've ever
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Said these words to was my moms.
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Got it?
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All right, I got it.
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All right.
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I...
290
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:25,567
Got to throw up!
291
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,333
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, not
292
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,100
On the sofa, not in the sofa!
293
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,167
Not in the kitchen!
294
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:31,167
Not in the kitchen!
295
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,200
And not on the stairs!
296
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,167
Look -- go upstairs!
297
00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:34,533
Bathroom's the first door on the
298
00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:34,967
Right.
299
00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:36,833
Hold on a minute.
300
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,967
Hey, did you make it?
301
00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:41,067
[ vomiting ]
302
00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:42,833
Almost.
303
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:44,367
Okay, hold on.
304
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:45,967
I'm on my way, man.
305
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,333
I'm sorry the movie was
306
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:47,967
Sold-out.
307
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,500
It kind of ruined the evening,
308
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:49,900
Huh?
309
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,433
Nah, not ruined.
310
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:55,433
Got a plan "B."
311
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:59,867
Shh! I think I hear somebody.
312
00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:02,767
Oh, oh, hey, mom, hey, dad!
313
00:08:02,767 --> 00:08:04,133
How you doing?
314
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:08,067
Um, we're fine. How are you?
315
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,300
Oh, I am good. I am good.
316
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,567
I just think I'm -- think I'm
317
00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:12,867
Gonna be a little sick, though.
318
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,633
No, no, not on my sofa, not
319
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:15,433
On the sofa.
320
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:16,733
Not the stairs! Bathroom!
321
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:18,233
Get in the bathroom!
322
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:20,833
Malik, did you get it?
323
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:27,067
Uh, yeah, I'm...
324
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:28,967
There goes plan "B."
325
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,233
Mr. And mrs. Payne, we didn't
326
00:08:35,233 --> 00:08:36,433
Really drink that much.
327
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,600
I mean, we spilled most of it.
328
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,700
Yeah, I see you spilled it
329
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,133
All in my upstairs hallway.
330
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:43,500
I'm fine, really.
331
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,067
You're fine.
332
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:45,900
You're fine?
333
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,767
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, too.
334
00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:48,300
Yeah.
335
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,400
See, look -- I could car a drive
336
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,900
Right now if I had to.
337
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:52,600
Me too.
338
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,333
You could?
339
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,433
You hear that, c.J.?
340
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,933
They could both car a drive,
341
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:56,700
Both of them.
342
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,167
Yeah, we gonna get to that
343
00:08:58,167 --> 00:08:58,633
Later.
344
00:08:58,633 --> 00:08:59,667
[ horn honks ]
345
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,400
Ah, speaking of cars, there's
346
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,133
Your father.
347
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:05,600
How about I invite your dad
348
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,300
In here and me and him...
349
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:09,200
Ow!
350
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,867
...Trade notes -- don't you
351
00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:13,433
Throw up on me, boy -- and see
352
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:14,867
Who's gonna dole out the most
353
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:20,267
Punishment.
354
00:09:20,267 --> 00:09:23,433
Mr. And mrs. Payne, I
355
00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,533
Sincerely apologize for
356
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:26,500
Validating your trust this
357
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:26,933
Evening.
358
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:27,900
"Violating."
359
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,833
That's what I said.
360
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:29,467
Pbht.
361
00:09:29,467 --> 00:09:30,767
And, uh -- whoo!
362
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:31,667
[ laughs ]
363
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:33,867
May I say, mrs. Payne, that I
364
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:36,167
Love how your -- how your hair
365
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:39,100
[laughs] Match your shirt and it
366
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:39,833
Match your jeans.
367
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:40,733
Save it. Save it.
368
00:09:40,733 --> 00:09:41,933
We will be having a nice long
369
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,200
Conversation with your father.
370
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,867
Take an aspirin before you go to
371
00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:45,300
Bed.
372
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,233
All right.
373
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,833
[ sighs ] Man.
374
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,267
Oh, no, no aspirin.
375
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:51,167
I want you --
376
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,067
Don't you throw up on me, boy.
377
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,633
I want you to feel all the
378
00:09:55,633 --> 00:09:57,967
Consequences of what you did.
379
00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,067
Upstairs.
380
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:00,433
Dad, am I gonna get a
381
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,133
Hangover?
382
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:03,400
I sure hope so.
383
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,067
I'm so disappointed in you,
384
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:05,633
Malik.
385
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:10,233
Look -- I'm sorry.
386
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,700
[ scoffs ]
387
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:15,033
You got no idea how sorry you
388
00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:16,800
Gonna be.
389
00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:19,500
Mm-mmm!
390
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,333
Mmm!
391
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:20,967
Good stuff!
392
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:21,467
Curtis?
393
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:22,467
Y'all gonna enjoy it.
394
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:23,333
Y'all gonna enjoy it.
395
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,033
[ laughs]
396
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:27,900
Baby, this food was about as
397
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:31,133
Good as you are handsome.
398
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:31,933
[ laughs ]
399
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,467
It wasn't that doggone good.
400
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,100
[ both laugh ]
401
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,767
You must have really enjoyed it,
402
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:37,200
Huh?
403
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,067
I did, baby.
404
00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:39,733
Curtis, now promise me, baby --
405
00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:40,167
Okay?
406
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,800
Promise me you are not gonna get
407
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,333
All crazy when the check comes,
408
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:45,033
Right?
409
00:10:45,033 --> 00:10:47,467
Baby, it bears repeating, my
410
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:49,667
Sweet -- you are worth every
411
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:50,900
Penny...
412
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:51,433
Aww.
413
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,033
...As beautiful as you are.
414
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:53,900
Thank you.
415
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:54,767
[ laughs ]
416
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:55,567
Happy anniversary, baby.
417
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,433
Happy anniversary, my
418
00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:56,800
Darling.
419
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,233
Yes.
420
00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,333
And, uh, would you like a
421
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,367
Doggy bag so you can drop the
422
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:03,700
Crumbs into the cracks of your
423
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:04,800
Recliner as you watch your
424
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,433
Mindless american football?
425
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,067
Oh!
426
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,267
Did he say something about
427
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:08,767
Football?
428
00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:09,400
Curtis.
429
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,367
That's it!
430
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:12,067
Ohh hoo, I've been holding it
431
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,067
For so long.
432
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:13,333
Mm.
433
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:14,300
Let me tell you something --
434
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,300
You don't know nothing about me,
435
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:15,800
Okay?
436
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,900
You don't know me.
437
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,133
You don't know nothing about me.
438
00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:19,233
Monsieur, please.
439
00:11:19,233 --> 00:11:20,733
Monsieur, please, I know your
440
00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:22,333
"Teepe."
441
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,067
And so that means you know
442
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,433
You ain't getting no tip.
443
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:27,233
No, no, I did not say "Tip."
444
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:28,967
I said "Teepe," the "Teepe" of
445
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:29,933
Person you are.
446
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:33,367
For 364 days of the year, you
447
00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:34,967
Sit at your tv and you eat your
448
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:37,300
Corndogs and scratch your back
449
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,300
With the stick.
450
00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:39,833
And one night of the year, you
451
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,433
Come out to a place like this to
452
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:42,600
Be wowed.
453
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,133
Well, I hope you had a nice
454
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:45,800
Time, and I hope you and madam
455
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:52,067
Were wowed.
456
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:53,067
That's it.
457
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,067
Baby, we don't have to hear
458
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:54,333
This.
459
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:55,367
You're lucky the food was good.
460
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,433
Come on. Let's go.
461
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:57,700
Now you're making sense,
462
00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,133
Baby.
463
00:11:58,133 --> 00:11:59,500
Oh, no, I see your little
464
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,067
Plan.
465
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,133
Oh, now I understand.
466
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:02,500
You are trying to leave without
467
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,667
Paying for the bill, huh?
468
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:04,967
"Dine and dash," as I believe
469
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:05,800
You americans say.
470
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,100
Excuse me, sir.
471
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,133
Apparently, you don't know my
472
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,067
Husband.
473
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,367
Or do you, madame?
474
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,900
I heard you marveling at the
475
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,533
Fact that he didn't care about
476
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:15,133
The cost.
477
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,600
Does this sound like your
478
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,400
Husband, not being cheap for the
479
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:23,867
First time in 32 years?
480
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:26,067
Ugh. Et tu, ella?
481
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:26,500
Curtis.
482
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,933
Ugh. That's latin.
483
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:33,100
Au contraire, ma femme.
484
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,067
That's french.
485
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,800
It means it isn't so, wifey.
486
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,400
Yes, yes, I think I know my
487
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,367
French, monsieur.
488
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:40,333
Yes, yes, and I think I know
489
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,100
My fake french.
490
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,133
What?
491
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:44,133
Yeah, right.
492
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:45,533
You ain't no doggone --
493
00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,400
If you so french, why is this
494
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,833
Place named le pompier?
495
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:51,267
You're, uh...
496
00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:51,933
[ imitates buzzer ]
497
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:52,733
'cause you don't know.
498
00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:54,067
Touché.
499
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:56,567
He ain't no french.
500
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,067
Curtis, what are you talking
501
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:58,400
About?
502
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,567
Baby, "Le pompier" -- it
503
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,300
Means fireman, okay?
504
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,067
The owner of this place is a
505
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,633
Former fireman and a dear old
506
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:06,600
Friend of mine.
507
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:12,100
This meal was on the house.
508
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:13,233
You're, uh...
509
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,600
[ southern accent ] Y'all are
510
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,367
Friends with frankie?
511
00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:16,667
Yeah, I'm friends with
512
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:17,233
Frankie.
513
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:19,733
And I know he's on vacation.
514
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:20,933
We were supposed to give you
515
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:25,167
This after the meal, okay?
516
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,600
Baby, he wanted to see how the
517
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,067
Service was without them knowing
518
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,733
That I'm his buddy.
519
00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:31,267
Oh.
520
00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:32,967
And, well, how was the
521
00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:33,700
Service?
522
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:34,400
[ imitates buzzer ]
523
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,900
[ both laugh ]
524
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:38,400
Worse than your accent.
525
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,433
"Phillipe." phil.
526
00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:42,067
Here you go, phil.
527
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,800
Your name ain't no phillipe,
528
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,333
Right?
529
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:45,167
Come on.
530
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,500
Give me a break, dude.
531
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,100
[ laughs ]
532
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,200
I'm gonna give you a break if
533
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,300
You don't get out of my face.
534
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,067
The "Noive."
535
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,067
So, all of this about "Never
536
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,100
Mind the cost" -- the whole meal
537
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,300
Was free, baby?
538
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,800
Why didn't you tell me?
539
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,900
Because, baby, I wanted it
540
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,567
To be about the romance.
541
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,767
Aww. And it was, baby.
542
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:12,233
[ laughs ] Wait a minute.
543
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,900
Hey, phil? Come here.
544
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:15,767
Hmm?
545
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,700
Excuse us.
546
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,067
Uh, look -- where you going?
547
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,067
What, you quitting?
548
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:22,667
Why not?
549
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:23,967
I mean, I'm just gonna get fired
550
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:25,067
When frankie gets back from
551
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:25,533
Vacation.
552
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,767
Man, come on.
553
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:28,733
It ain't that serious, okay?
554
00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,967
I mean, look -- just drop your
555
00:14:29,967 --> 00:14:31,067
Little snooty attitude, all
556
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:31,433
Right?
557
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:33,233
You don't need all that.
558
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:34,400
Y-you're not gonna tell
559
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,567
Frankie about what happened?
560
00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:36,667
No, I'm not gonna tell
561
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,900
Frankie, though, but not if you
562
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,933
Change your little funky
563
00:14:38,933 --> 00:14:39,433
Attitude.
564
00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,467
Yeah, I'll change --
565
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,467
Oui, I'll change.
566
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:42,933
Thank you.
567
00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:44,067
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
568
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:47,067
I appreciate it.
569
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,467
That too hard?
570
00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:51,700
You are a strange cat.
571
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,233
Hey, look -- one more thing I
572
00:14:53,233 --> 00:14:54,467
Need you to do for me.
573
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:55,500
Yeah, anything, mr. Payne.
574
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,067
Just name it.
575
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:56,767
All right.
576
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:58,133
I need you to drive me and my
577
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:58,700
Baby home.
578
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,833
I locked my keys in the car.
579
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:06,667
Yes, sir.
580
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:07,433
Hey!
581
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:08,100
Ugh!
582
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,733
Please, please, please, dad.
583
00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:11,733
There he is -- big man on
584
00:15:11,733 --> 00:15:12,433
Campus!
585
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,600
Wait. Wait. Wait.
586
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,167
Y-you're not angry?
587
00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,200
Oh. About last night?
588
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,300
Oh, no, man.
589
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,833
I just -- I look at that as a --
590
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:27,333
A rite of passage.
591
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,300
Your first drunk.
592
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:28,800
Ohh.
593
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,267
[ laughs ]
594
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,333
I mean, you're --
595
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,467
You're kidding, right?
596
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,167
Cooked you some eggs.
597
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:34,600
Oh.
598
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,867
Yeah, man. Look at that.
599
00:15:35,867 --> 00:15:36,633
That's nice.
600
00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:39,067
Look at that. Smell that.
601
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,833
I got peppers in there.
602
00:15:40,833 --> 00:15:41,233
Mnh.
603
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,067
I got mushrooms in there.
604
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,833
I got -- I got lima beans.
605
00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:46,500
Look at that. Go ahead.
606
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,833
No, no, you know what?
607
00:15:48,833 --> 00:15:49,567
Dig in!
608
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:51,400
Uh, no, I'm not really that
609
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,067
Hungry.
610
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,067
You know, I'm just gonna take
611
00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:53,533
Some juice.
612
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:54,133
How about that?
613
00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,200
I'm just gonna take some juice.
614
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,067
Oh.
615
00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:57,133
You want something to drink?
616
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:58,300
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
617
00:15:58,300 --> 00:15:59,600
Got something all ready for
618
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,067
You.
619
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:00,600
All right.
620
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,633
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
621
00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:04,833
[ sniffs ]
622
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,200
What is that?
623
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,700
Is -- is that gin in there?
624
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,433
Hair of the dog!
625
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:13,100
Okay.
626
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:17,500
Yeah.
627
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,700
Okay.
628
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,067
Listen -- you slept late, so
629
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,333
The game has probably already
630
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:21,833
Started.
631
00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:22,900
I thought we'd watch it
632
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,433
Together.
633
00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:24,067
Oh, okay.
634
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:24,900
Grab your eggs.
635
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,200
Oh, no, no, no, I'm not
636
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,133
Really that hun--
637
00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:29,467
I'm just gonna leave that there.
638
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:31,233
I'm just gonna find me a good
639
00:16:31,233 --> 00:16:32,733
Seat.
640
00:16:32,733 --> 00:16:33,867
Ugh.
641
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:34,967
Okay.
642
00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:36,400
[ mid-tempo music plays ]
643
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,667
Ohh.
644
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,500
Wait. That's not the game.
645
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,300
What the heck is that?
646
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,700
I actually haven't seen this
647
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:44,067
One.
648
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:46,833
It's called "Brains on the
649
00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:48,233
Highway."
650
00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:49,733
[ siren wailing ]
651
00:16:49,733 --> 00:16:51,067
Wh--
652
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:53,200
Wh-wh-what is that?
653
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,833
Brains on the highway --
654
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,433
Actual footage.
655
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,200
Ugh.
656
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,200
That's his leg. See that?
657
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,900
Ugh! Turn it off!
658
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,800
Turn it off!
659
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,400
No, turn -- turn it off!
660
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,433
Okay.
661
00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:08,333
[ grunts ] All right!
662
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:09,933
You know, you watch some really
663
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:10,767
Crummy movies.
664
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:11,600
You know that?
665
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,400
But I get it. I get your point.
666
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,567
No, malik. No.
667
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,400
You do not get my point.
668
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,700
What you did was wrong.
669
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:21,600
It was wrong, and you knew it.
670
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,267
Now, did you know that you could
671
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:26,167
Die from alcohol poisoning or
672
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:28,633
Suffer liver damage?
673
00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:29,067
Huh?
674
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,833
Or what if you choke on your own
675
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,633
Vomit and nobody's there around?
676
00:17:32,633 --> 00:17:34,100
You could die from that.
677
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,967
Or what happens if you actually
678
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,567
Car a drive?
679
00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:38,500
But, dad, we didn't even
680
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:38,867
Drive --
681
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:39,833
This is the part where you
682
00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:41,100
Shut the hell up.
683
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,367
Yes, sir.
684
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:45,767
Now, malik, maybe you didn't
685
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,867
Drive drunk.
686
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,567
But what happens if you get in a
687
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,867
Car with some idiot who did?
688
00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:54,400
Look, dad, I'm really sorry.
689
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,433
That's only a little better.
690
00:17:57,433 --> 00:18:01,733
Listen to me, malik.
691
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:04,067
I'm a fireman.
692
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:05,733
I go to wrecks.
693
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:08,800
I watch other people's sons and
694
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,767
Daughters die in alcohol-related
695
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:15,133
Accidents all the time.
696
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:16,233
Do you think I want that to
697
00:18:16,233 --> 00:18:16,833
Happen to you?
698
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:17,767
No.
699
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,400
It breaks my heart.
700
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:22,667
Baby?
701
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:23,233
Hmm?
702
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:24,800
Why didn't you tell me that
703
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:25,833
The dinner was free?
704
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:26,500
'cause.
705
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,067
Do you know how much stuff I
706
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:29,467
Wanted to order on that menu?
707
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,267
That's why I didn't tell you.
708
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,667
All we need is a table full of
709
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:33,200
Plates.
710
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,500
You get a doggie bag.
711
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,067
[ laughs ]
712
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:35,867
That food was good, though,
713
00:18:35,867 --> 00:18:36,300
Wasn't it?
714
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:36,833
Great!
715
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,367
Garcon!
716
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,467
Oui? Oui?
717
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,133
[ laughs ]
718
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:43,067
Your dog.
719
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,367
It's not "Your dog."
720
00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:46,533
It's "Corndog."
721
00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:47,700
Did he bring one corndog?
722
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,067
He has one corndog on that
723
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:49,400
Plate.
724
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,767
Ohh.
725
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:51,867
I know.
726
00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,600
Phillipe.
727
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,433
Right.
728
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:55,067
Phillipe!
729
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,233
I'll get you another one.
730
00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:57,633
Hang on.
731
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:01,833
Hang on?
732
00:19:01,833 --> 00:19:03,867
Damn, that sucker's good.
733
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:06,067
He bit that --
734
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:06,900
He just bit the corndog.
735
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,067
[ laughs ]
736
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,433
What the hell are you --
43927
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