Original subtitles

No, curtis does not suspect

Anything.

Oh, the retirement party is a

Great idea.

I know. I know.

Yes, he's gonna be so surprised.

Ella?!

Oh, calvin, I got to go.

Here he comes.

Okay. Okay. See you tonight.

Okay, bye.

Yes, baby?!

Hey, baby.

Hoo!

You want to look at the mail?

Sure.

Okay, good.

You can go get it out of the

Box.

[ laughs ]

Curtis --

My first severance check's

Coming today.

Baby, get -- wait, wait,

Wait, wait, wait.

Go get that mail.

Your legs not broke.

Come on!

You keep saying you want to help

People, right?

I do.

Well, then help me by going

To fetch the mail.

Curtis.

Baby, charity begins at home.

Go! Go, go, go.

Go, go, go. Go, go, go.

All right. Okay.

I'll tell you what -- my check

Better be in there.

It will. Have faith.

Walk with the lord.

In fact, baby, let the lord

Stroll with you to the mailbox.

He walk too fast.

[ chuckles ]

You walk too slow.

Auntie ella?

Oh.

Yes.

Jazmine, are c.J.'s lunches

Really that bad?

The teacher mistook my last

One for my science project.

She still has it on display in a

Jar.

Ew! Okay.

We-- ohh, look at you.

Don't you look pretty?

Turn around. Ohh.

Thanks.

Yes!

You know, gordon loves dots.

Who's gordon?

* jazi's got a crush

Ohh-oh-oh!

This is so precious.

I can't wait to tell --

No!

No. Uh...I don't have a crush.

You see, gordon --

Gordon is the class mouse.

Oh. Mm.

It's my turn to clean the

Cage today.

Mmm. In your church dress?

He's a church mouse.

He's a church mouse. Heh heh!

Heh heh heh.

Yeah, get out of here.

You look beautiful.

I got it. I got it. I got it.

Yeah.

I got the money, honey.

[ laughs ]

Look at that, baby.

You know what?

I know I've been kind of hard on

The department, but I'm gonna

Tell you what, ella -- deep

Inside, I know I was

Appreciated.

I really do, baby.

Now I'm gonna show you just what

You get for 32 years of

Dedicated service.

Just what you get.

Look at that. Bam!

Read 'em and weep.

$2.11.

What? What the hell?

Say what?

I got to call who?

Oh -- oh -- oh, no, I will not!

Look, you are the ones that

Messed up the paperwork, okay?

D-do you realize who you messing

With?

This is curtis p-- hello?

Hello? Hello?

They hung up on me.

Do you believe that, ella?

They hung up on me, baby!

Baby, did you really think

That the governor was gonna stop

All he had to do and take your

Phone call?

After 32 years of

Service...Yes.

You know what?

That department is trying to

Cheat me out of my money, ella.

Curtis, wait a minute.

Nobody is trying to cheat you.

Now, why don't you just call the

Department's main office and

Talk with somebody?

It could take all of five

Minutes, baby.

You know what?

I know what I'm gonna call.

The phone is dead.

It's dead, ella.

Okay, curtis.

Well, just calm down.

[ muttering ]

The phone is cold.

Put it on speaker.

I know they'd better get me

Some answers.

I know that, or I'm gonna --

Hello.

Is it -- oh, hello.

Look here.

There's been a huge mistake --

If you'd like to continue in

English, say "English" now.

If you'd like to continue in

Spanish, say...

What? It's a machine, baby.

It's a machine!

I'm sorry.

I did not understand your

Response.

If you'd like to continue in

English, say...

English.

Did you say, "English"?

Yes, I said, "English!"

English!

Do you understand english, or do

I have to speak japanese?!

You chose japanese.

Domo arigato. Konichiwa.

Ugh!

Hey, aunt ella.

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

I thought you said

Uncle curtis left already.

We need to start decorating

For the party.

Listen, I think we're gonna

Have to cancel this party.

Curtis is not in a festive mood.

But I already set up the

Special entertainment.

Floyd is in charge of the

Entertainment?

C.J., you know what happened the

Last time he threw a party.

Hey, hey, hey, that was not

My fault.

That law had not gone into

Effect yet.

It's one of the

Ten commandments, floyd.

You should have been stoned.

Hmm. I was.

That's why it happened.

[ chuckles ]

Aunt ella, it'll be okay.

All we got to do is make sure

That uncle curtis gets out of

The house.

C.J., I don't know.

I don't think curtis is gonna go

Anywhere today.

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving, baby.

I got to go down to city hall.

Curtis, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, not again.

No, baby.

I got a real problem, okay?

I need to talk to a real person,

Or else somebody's gonna be in

Real trouble, okay?

I'm not gonna let anybody take

My money!

Get up.

Jazi --

Aah!

[ laughs ]

Little jumpy, sweetheart?

No, I'm just keeping an eye

Out for, you know, what's his

Name.

Gordon?

Uh, yeah, that's him.

Okay.

Oh, and, mom, I hope you

Don't mind.

I put out a couple of snacks.

You know, we're studying, so...

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. It's nothing fancy.

Nothing fancy?

What?

Jazi, there wasn't this much

Food at the last supper.

Are those my martini glasses?

Mom, look -- I just want to

Make sure that we have enough

Food while we work.

So, this gordon guy is really

Special, huh?

Mom!

No. I told you already,

We're just friends.

Just friends.

Matter of fact, I wish he

Wasn't even coming over here

This afternoon.

[ doorbell rings ]

I'll get it.

I got it!

[ breathing heavily ]

Whew!

You look beautiful.

Thanks.

Ohh.

Okay.

[ chuckles ] Hi, gordon.

Hi.

And marceea.

Hey, jazmine.

I invited marceea to come

Along.

You don't mind, do you?

Uh...Unh-unh.

No, that -- that's just great.

You know how smart she is.

Yeah, she's pretty clever.

So, what's first -- history

Or math?

Well, actually, I was hoping

That we could --

Well, what do you like,

Gordon?

Well, I was actually thinking

That we should go into the

Kitchen first because I made

Snacks.

Nice!

Good idea.

You go get the snacks, and I'll

Sit here next to gordon.

You know what?

We don't even need snacks.

Let's just crack those books

Open and go ahead and study.

Hi, gordon. Hi, marceea.

Hi, mrs. Payne.

Look at what jazmine made.

Cool!

[ giggles ]

Uh-oh. I can't eat meat.

I'm a vegetarian.

Oh, really?

So am I.

Gordon and I can't eat that.

Oh, really? No worries.

Here, I'll trade you.

Thanks, mom.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Well, then, have some cheese.

Sorry, but I can't eat dairy,

Either.

Well, neither can I.

Wow! Get out.

Yeah, get out.

Huh?

Um...Let's get out those math

Books so we can study for this

Quiz.

Come on, curtis.

Come on, curtis! Where are you?

Oh. Curtis payne is home!

Oh! Oh, baby, look -- you got

Your check.

You got your money.

Yeah, I got my money.

Glory!

Yes, sir. Thank you. Thank you.

But so what?

So what?

Baby, I can't believe the way

They treated me down there

Today.

Curtis.

I mean, it was such a lack of

Respect.

It's just not right, ella.

Okay.

I hate the department.

Curtis, don't say that.

Don't say it.

Far as I'm concerned, they

Can all --

Surprise!

[ applause ]

What's in there?

It's a surprise party for

You!

Yes.

Surprise!

Happy retirement, curtis!

Ahh! Ha ha!

[ laughs ]

Wait. This is for me? Really?

Yes, baby.

You never got one, so the guys

All got together -- wait, wait.

Surprise!

Ha! Ugh!

They're all here for me?

Yes. Yes, baby.

Get in there and enjoy it.

Enjoy your party.

All right. I look all right?

Curtis, they've already seen

You.

* do do doo do doo doo

Surprise! Surprise.

Surprise!

Oh, wow.

Thank you. Thank you.

Good to see you.

Nephew.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Do I know you?

It doesn't matter.

Welcome to my home.

So, curtis, you're not mad?

Mad?

No, baby.

I'm getting just what I need,

Ella.

I mean, after a day of

Disrespect, I'm finally getting

What I deserve.

Yeah. Heh heh!

Oh, you're gonna get exactly

What you deserve, pops.

[ laughter ]

Welcome, everyone, to

Curtis payne's retirement roast!

Whoo!

[ applause ]

Roast?

Roast?

Miss ella, you didn't get my

Text?

No.

Excuse me.

C.J., start the music, please --

Something festive...

Forgiving song.

Ah, this is great.

And just think about it, pops --

This is all for you.

Ella, a roast?

Curtis, I promise I did not

Know anything about this,

Honest.

I mean, it shouldn't be that

Bad, baby.

These are your friends, and they

Do love you.

Okay.

Who's the first person that

Wants to stick the fork in the

Roastee?

All right, calm down. Calm down.

You hear that, ella?

I'm about to be forked.

Floyd.

Ma'am?

Keenan and bart have been

Working on something a little

Special.

No, no, no. Wait. Wait.

It should be me.

I should go first because you

Guys only just work with him.

I'm actually related to him.

Whoa. You're just his nephew.

I'm his son.

I've been waiting for this

Moment my whole life.

But we have a dramatic

Presentation, a little blast

From the past.

[ applause ]

How does that sound, roastee?

Whoopee.

Close your eyes and imagine a

Slightly younger curtis.

[ crying ]

I'm hungry!

No one's paying attention to me!

What the hell?

Eeh!

I never talked like that when

I was a baby.

Nobody was talking about a

Baby.

Bart's re-enacting a typical day

At the station.

[ laughter ]

Ella, save me.

Okay, curtis. Okay.

Floyd.

Floyd!

Floyd, come over here!

[ feedback squeals ]

Yes, miss ella?

Floyd...

Yes, ma'am?

...I thought you said that

This was gonna be a dignified

Affair.

This is dignified.

All the big stars and

Everything -- they have

Celebrity roasts like this.

Don't you feel like a star,

Curtis?

More like a planet.

Want to watch me step on uranus?

Oh, curtis, please, please.

Just...

C.J., we're switching to the

Security channel.

Oh, yeah, and, uh, sorry

About the dinner.

I've never heard of anyone that

Was allergic to lettuce.

[ horn honks ]

That's my mom.

But gordon and I really enjoyed

Ourselves.

You must have us over again

Sometime.

Yeah.

I must.

Bye, jazmine.

See you tomorrow.

Come on, gordon.

My mom will drop you off.

Sure. Go on.

I'll just be a minute.

I'm sorry you went to all that

Trouble to make those

Snacks...And dinner and I

Couldn't eat anything.

It's okay.

I was wondering...

If we could maybe meet again

Tomorrow afternoon...

To study for math.

Oh. Heh!

Sure. And I'm sure marceea is

Gonna be there --

No. Just you and me.

Wait. But I thought that you

Liked her.

Oh, sure.

Marceea's cool, but I like you.

Yeah, but we have nothing in

Common.

Oh.

But...

I like you, too.

See?

W d have something in common.

Bye!

Bye.

Heh.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, baby, how you holding

Up?

I'm about to kill somebody.

Floyd, can we get this over

With?

The native is restless.

Um, calvin, why don't you

Give your perspective as a

Member of the family tree?

Let's welcome him.

[ applause ]

That's great.

The sap's about to talk.

As you all may know, it's

Very, very difficult to talk

About a great leader.

Luckily, we don't have to do

That.

We just have to talk about pops.

[ chuckles ]

Now, all of you that have worked

With my dad knows he's a very

Hard dude to get along with.

Am I right?

Amen, brother!

* preach! Preach!

I mean, he's the only guy

That I know that can make a

Happy meal want to kill himself.

* testify! Testi--

Bart.

[ chuckles ]

Hey, come on, now.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

My turn. Let me talk, okay?

Okay?

I just want to thank everybody

For coming out.

We've had a great time tonight.

But on the serious side, I just

Want to say that this guy's my

Uncle.

He's also my hero.

And I got to watch him be chief,

And now I'm chief.

So, I learned a lot, and I just

Want to --

C.J.

Thank you. I appreciate you.

But it's too little, too late.

Sorry, unc.

So, that's what all of you

Think of me?

No, unc.

I think they were just trying to

Be funny.

Well, it's not funny.

It's not funny.

You know, I worked a lot of

Hard --

Lot of hard years...

Only to be forced out and

Forgotten.

I was a chief -- a chief.

You know, that used to mean

Something.

Pops, we didn't mean to --

Please, no.

It's one thing to be

Disrespected by the department,

But you all -- my friends and

Family?

Mmm.

I thought that the worst thing

That could ever happen to me was

Being forced to retire.

I was wrong.

It's being here...

With all of you.

[ door slams ]

Some surprise.

[ sighs ]

Guess that means we'll cancel

The piñata, huh?

Ohh.

God, that thing's hard.

Oh, well.

Andale, andale! Arriba!

[ yelping ]

I got your back, little buddy.

I got your back, curtis.

[ sighs ]