Original subtitles

Hey, baby.

[ giggles ]

Hey, baby. Mwah.

Listen, okay?

I need you to help me clean

Because my mother is gonna be

Here tomorrow.

Well, then, we still got

24 hours.

Baby, stop it.

Come on, baby.

We just worked things out.

Why does she have to come right

Now?

Listen, listen, listen.

There's absolutely nothing --

Mwah -- to worry about, okay?

Because she -- she knows that

We're in a better place now.

Well, not yet, but we will be

In a minute.

[ laughs ]

Baby, baby, baby, stop!

I'm serious.

I want you and my mom to bury

The hatchet, okay?

Yeah, she'll probably bury it

In my skull.

Come on, baby.

Listen, I talked to her.

She knows that we're okay, so

She's fine with you, all right?

Yeah, that's what she tells

You.

Will you stop?

Baby, you weren't there when

She blamed me for your little

Disappearing act.

Listen, she didn't blame you.

She was just concerned about me.

Uh, you weren't there.

You didn't see it.

Uh, trash.

[ sighs ]

This is her.

"Where is she?

Where's miranda?

Where's my baby?

Why aren't you looking for her?

She's missing. She's missing.

Oh, my god, she's missing!"

Now, you know my mom was not

That bad.

Oh, yes, she was.

"It's your fault.

If anything has happened to my

Little baby -- my baby.

Oh, my -- oh, I can't, I can't,

I can't."

Don't forget I called the

Cops on you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

"There he is, officer.

There he is. Arrest him!

Put the cuffs on him."

Hi, mrs. Lucas.

Mom...

[ chuckles nervously ]

Hey. Yes, you are, um, here

Early.

No, no, it seems I am right

On time.

Hi.

Curtis!

[ imitates motorcycle engine

Revving ]

Unh-unh.

Listen.

Curtis, curtis.

Knock, knock.

Curtis! Eh!

[ imitates engine

Sputtering ]

Why'd you have to go -- you

Can't just cut me down in

Midflight -- cut the engine off!

Curtis, listen to me.

We cannot afford another

Motorcycle.

Baby, can't you picture it?

Curtis.

Come on, come on, come on.

Hop on. Hop on. Come on.

Curtis.

Me and you riding across

America, the wind's blowing in

My hair.

The wind will not blow

Through that little afro.

Baby, with the money I'm

Getting from my severance, I can

Get a weav an a new bike.

We can't afford this, baby.

I've already made plans,

Baby, to save money.

I've already made plans.

What, what?

I'm putting you out.

No more flowers every week.

No more of them expensive swiss

Chocolates.

No more romantic getaways.

You have not bought me

Flowers, and we -- we never had

Any of that, baby.

Good. You won't miss it.

I know what.

Why don't we cut out some of

The --

Curtis, why don't we cut out

Some of the other extras, baby,

Like -- like cable or like beer!

Oh, oh, I know.

How about snacks?

[ imitates motorcycle engine

Revving, tires screeching ]

Get off the bike, curtis,

Please.

Woman, are you crazy?

Well, that -- you want me to

Live like an animal?

We wouldn't have to do

Anything, baby, if I brought

Some money into the house.

[ laughs ]

Wow!

What -- I know, bubby.

I know.

Okay, I'm gonna ask her.

I'm gonna ask her.

Bubby want to know how the hell

You gonna bring in some more

Money.

Who is bubby?

[ laughs ]

B-bubby said, "Who are you?"

Curtis, listen to me.

Baby, come on, now.

I just might have a plan,

Curtis.

You just might have a plan,

Huh?

Yes, sir.

Heh. Okay, go with it.

What kind of money we talking?

I mean, are we talking

High-on-the-hog money or eatin'

Gristle money?

Baby, I don't even know what

You're talking about. Please?

Look, is it legal?

Curtis, I think it's so

Important --

Okay, you know what?

I don't even want to hear.

Just do it.

No, baby, I think we need to

Discuss this first.

I want to tell you about it.

Look, baby, I don't even want

To hear it, okay?

I don't want details.

I don't want to be an

Accomplice.

Curtis payne!

Baby, baby, you're fogging up

My mirrors.

Mirrors?

Come on with that. Come on.

You're doing the most, baby.

Look, baby, go ahead with

Your business, okay?

Go ahead with your business.

Look, whatever it is, if it's

Gonna bring in more money, I'm

100% for it, all right?

Are you serious, baby?

Baby, go get your grind on.

Really?

Yes.

Baby, you promise?

Hey, go -- you go get that

Bacon and bring it back home.

Okay. Ugh!

Aah!

You're serious, right,

Curtis?

Baby, just go, okay?

Hey, just remember, you get one

Phone call.

And if you get caught...

You don't know me.

I don't know you.

And if I see you on a corner,

Better hide my money!

You know, the changing table

Will be in in about a couple of

Weeks.

Calvin, you know, miranda told

Me that you put that beautiful

Crib together all by yourself.

You have a degree in

Engineering, right?

Actually, I didn't quite get

My degree yet.

Oh.

But I did study engineering,

As well as psychology,

Philosophy, economics --

Well, you know, that

Scattershot approach to learning

Can be quite effective, you

Know, for the right person.

You know, mom...

Yes?

...Calvin worked very hard.

Yeah, I'm sure, honey, he'll

Go back and get a degree in

Something, you know, someday.

One day. Eventually. Hopefully.

Eventually, you know, after the

Baby's born or something.

No, we have actually already

Discussed it, and that's exactly

What calvin is gonna do.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

You know, maybe he can get a

3-month certificate in

Something, you know?

Oh, honey, don't worry.

There's a lot of successful

People that didn't graduate from

College, you know, like, um...

Uh...

You know, I can't think of any

Right now, but I am sure there

Are some out there.

[ clears throat ]

Is this your toy?

You know, actually, calvin,

Baby -- you know, he has a

Really good job.

Tell her about it, baby.

Yeah.

I work for a marketing firm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Your friend mercedes got you

That job.

Wasn't that nice of her,

Miranda?

Mom, we have put that in the

Past.

Oh. [ clears throat ]

Ah, ha, ha, ha.

Speaking of the past, you'll

Never believe who I ran into the

Other day -- david.

And he asked about you, too.

You know he's on that list, that

List -- that "40 most eligible

Bachelor" list.

Mom.

What?

Honey, I know you're not looking

For an eligible bachelor.

I mean, you have calvin.

And I'm sure that you're gonna

Be very, very happy.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Making a pie chart.

Are you and mom having money

Problems?

No, no, we don't have money

Problems.

No, we're not having money

Problems.

We about to have a surplus of

Money.

Your mama about to make it

Ra-zou-zain, rain, rain.

Pops, what are you talking

About?

Your mama's going back on the

Corner.

Is that cool?

[ laughs ]

Man, one day, we're gonna find

Out who your father is.

Pops.

No, look.

It's all in the pie chart.

What pie?

The pie chart.

See this?

This represents -- this

Slice -- my new motorcycle.

It used to represent all the

Freeloaders that I used to feed

Every month, okay?

See, there's floyd, kamika.

There's all the little indians.

And there's you.

I put you in there.

See your star? Right there.

Something you got to understand.

You can't have your cake and eat

Your pie, too.

I don't even understand what

You mean.

It means the bakery's closed,

Okay?

No more pie for you, so go home.

I can't go home.

Miranda's mom is over there.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up.

And you left?

You left your house?

Yeah.

The same house your wife just

Let you in?

Yeah.

She's over there tripping.

She's criticizing everything

I've done.

Oh. Well, that's not bad.

You haven't done much.

Oh, great.

Now I'm getting it from you,

Too.

Look, calvin, you don't leave

Your house, okay?

The mother-in-law leaves the

House, okay?

That's why ella's mama ain't

Been -- ain't set foot -- in

This house since you was 5 years

Old.

That's not true.

I wish it was.

You get control, you hear me?

You get control of your

Household, okay?

Who pay the bills, huh?

I pay half.

Okay.

Half is better than nothing.

Okay.

Does her mama pay any bills?

No, she don't pay nothing.

Yeah, she pays nothing.

You know what that makes her?

A guest.

Okay?

What does a hotel do when a

Guest acts a fool in the hotel?

They put them out.

They don't put them out.

The thro them out!

They throw them out!

Okay?

We're gonna do a little

Simulation.

Now pretend I'm miranda's mom,

Okay?

Now you throw me out.

Get out of my house.

See, naturally, I didn't even

Do nothing 'cause you didn't do

Nothing.

Come on! Throw me out!

Get out!

Okay, that was nice.

That was nice.

A little more, though.

Be a man about it!

Get out!

No, I'm not going nowhere.

I'm not gonna let you get up --

Get out!

No!

Get out of my house!

Get out of my --

You don't even got any --

Get out of my house!

Yeah!

That was good.

Yeah?

That was good.

Good.

Okay, flip-flop.

Right?

Get out!

[ clattering ]

Yeah.

Back to my pie.

Curtis!

[ knocking on door ]

Open the door!

I know you're in there!

I'm sorry, baby.

Curtis!

You know the neighborhood.

Oh, curtis, I did it.

I did it, I did it, I did it.

Oh!

I did it, I did it, I did it!

I did it.

You got the raise?

Yes.

You got the raise?

Oh, baby, how much you get?

How much did you get? Oh --

Not the raise, curtis.

No.

Oh, you got more hours?

Yes, yes.

You got more hours?

You got more hours, more o.T.

For the p-I-e?

No, no, I didn't --

What -- what are we --

What are we doing?

What are we --

Curtis!

Let me hear.

I quit my job! Yay!

Ohh!

I...Quit...My...Job.

Huh!

What the hell?

You quit your job?

Yes, I sure did.

Baby, what happened to the

Plan, huh -- the plan you're

Supposed to get more money?

Curtis --

You quit your job, ella.

That's not more money, that's no

Money!

Come on, baby.

Come on.

All you had to do was fill this

Slice.

That's all you had to do, was

Fill this slice!

I will. I will.

Oh, yo wil get on that

Corner now, 'cause it's gonna

Happen.

It's for real now.

Curtis --

Look at this. Look at this.

You know what this is?

Do you know what this is, ella?!

A circle.

That is a pie that I was

Waiting to eat, but I can't eat

It.

You know why?

Why, curtis?

It's humble pie.

It's humble pie, ella.

That's the kind of pie people

Eat who ain't got no money,

Ella.

Curtis, wil bring more

Money in.

How?

I'm going to go to school.

What school, ella?

Baby, I want to study to be a

Social worker.

Yes.

Well, baby, I sure hope you

Get a scholarship.

Okay?

'cause we don't have a slice for

That part of the pie in the pie.

Curtis --

Okay?

Baby, we have your severance

Money.

Ahhh! Ooh!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

What?

[ mumbles ]

What? What?

We don't have my severance,

Baby, okay?

That's my severance for my

Retirement.

I'm retiring, ella, and I plan

On enjoying my retirement!

Curtis, I plan on enjoying

Your retirement, too.

That was your plan, ella --

Quitting your job?

That's not a plan, ella!

That's unemployment!

Okay? You don't plan that.

You just -- you go in, you go to

Work one day, and -- ooh! -- all

Of a sudden, you don't have a

Job!

That's what that is.

No, curtis.

I plan to go back to school, I

Plan to get a better job, I plan

To make more money a few years

From now.

Baby, we don't need groceries

A few years from now.

We need grocerie now okay?

But, curtis, I was only

Working 10 hours, anyway.

That's what you need -- a

Full-time job, ella!

Okay?

It's time for you to contribute

To this household.

Excuse you?

What do you think I have been

Doing all these years, curtis?

How am I supposed to know?

Hmm?

I've been working.

Well, let me tell you,

Curtis.

I have been washing and cooking

And cleaning and taking care of

Your family!

How about that, curtis?

Good!

'cause that means working comes

Easy for you.

Should be easy for you to get a

Job.

Put it on your résumé.

Ooh! Curtis, I'm gonna put it

On your tombstone.

You can't put it on my

Tombstone, ella, 'cause I can't

Afford one.

Not unless you get a job.

Oh!

Well, you're back soon.

Listen, sandra, I realize you

Have a problem with me because

Of the things I've done.

See?

I told you he was a bright boy.

Mom...

I'm sorry.

I will not be disrespected.

And whether you like it or not,

Miranda and I are back together.

Look at how cute she is, how

Sweet she is -- just lovely.

And we're gonna stay

Together.

I love her, and you need to

Respect our decisions.

Well, well, well.

It seems when you got your key

Back, it came with a little

Attitude.

Good for you.

Listen, mrs. Lucas, I --

No yo listen t me young

Man.

You have not earned my respect.

Now, we need to know if you're

Gonna do this again, okay?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait, wait, wait.

Baby, back up for a second.

What, what, what?

> "We"?

Yeah.

Calvin does not have to check

In with you, mom.

He I m husband.

We check in with each other.

Yeah, and I got this, baby.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

No, no, no.

Listen, you sit back and relax.

I have this one.

Honey, I am just trying to

Help you.

And you think this is

Helping?

All right, you know what?

Maybe I should leave.

Oh, well, maybe I should help

You.

Oh, no, no, don't you dare

Leave after the way you've acted

In this house, saying all of

These awful things to my

Husband?

You know, no, he does not have

His degree yet.

I don't.

But the company decided to

Hire him anyway because they

Believe in his talent.

They do.

No, no, no.

I'm not finished yet.

And then how dare you come in

Here throwing -- throwing david

Up into calvin's face?

Like, yes, I know, mom.

I know that he's at the top of

His field, that he lives in that

Fabulous penthouse and travels

The world and makes hundreds of

Thousands of dollars --

Whoa, whoa. Point made, baby.

Mom, I don't love david.

I don't want him.

I want calvin.

This -- this right here is my

Man.

Okay, mom?

And I love him so much that I'm

Willing to give him another

Chance, and I don't understand

Why you don't get that.

Yeah, why can't you get that?

Just trying to protect my

Baby girl.

Hey, no, that's my job now.

And I plan on being with her for

The rest of my life.

But I also plan on that baby

Getting to spend a lot of time

With his grandma, so we got to

Get this straight.

Mom, this is your time to

Apologize.

I'm sorry, calvin. I'm --

No, no.

That's it. I'll accept it.

Hey, why don't you two go get

Freshened up and I'll take you

Out to eat?

Are you sure you can afford

It --

Mother, mother, mother.

Sorry, sorry.

It's gonna take a little time.

A little time, you know.

Baby, I made you a butta

Sandwich.

What is a butta sandwich?

Nothing "Butta" couple of

Pieces of bread.

We're poor now, ella.

Ohh.

Curtis, I'm not -- I'm not

Talking to you now.

Oh, baby.

You really want to go to school?

Yes, I do, curtis.

Yes, I do.

Wait. Does that mean I got to

Walk you to the bus stop, make

Your lunches, and have them

Parent-teacher conferences?

You've gone and you've had

Your dream.

You've been a firefighter.

Now it's my turn.

You want to be a firefighter?

Well, why didn't you tell me,

Baby?

I'm fire chief.

I could have hooked you up.

Curtis, I've always wanted a

Degree.

Well, you never told me that,

Ella.

It was just never the right

Time, curtis.

Well, ella payne, you're

Gonna get your degree.

Curtis, don't play.

Yeah, you're gonna get it.

Ah! Yes, sir.

Yes, I-I will.

Yeah, okay. Good.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[ smooches ]

Got a little something for

You.

[ smooches ]

Well, I got a little something

For you, too.

[ chuckles ]

Oh. I heard that.

Voilà!

Oh! Curtis!

Pink.

Babe! Oh, baby, I love you.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Voilà!

Ah!

Curtis, a matching lunchbox.

A lunchbox and a backpack.

No, no, no.

This is your backpack.

This is the lunch -- that's your

Lunchbox.