Original subtitles

Hey.

Hey.

What's up, scissor?

Yah!

What is wrong with you, bro?

What the hell are you doing

In my house?

Oh. Ella ain't tell you?

Tell me what?

I'm moving in.

Oh, no, you're not.

Bro, vonita kicked me out.

I just need to stay here just

For a little while.

See, ain't no room in the inn.

I mean, wwcd?

What would curtis do?

Kfo. Kick floyd out.

Come on, man.

I just need to stay here for

A little while, man.

What is a little while in

Your head?

Well, until vonita forgives

Me and her sister, her cousin

The dog, her mama...

Okay, just stop.

Like you said, there's no room

In the inn.

There's too many people here

Already, floyd.

Come on, man.

I got claretha, I got jazzy,

I got malik...

Calvin, c.J., janine, miranda,

Ella...

The twins.

[ stammers ]

The professor and mary ann.

Come on, curtis, just for a

Little while, please?

No.

Come on, curtis.

No. No little while,

No nothing.

You got to get the hell out,

Okay?

All you all over at my house,

You got my house looking like

The projects.

This ain't the projects, okay?

I'll just be your last

Project.

Come on, curtis.

Get out.

Please.

Get out.

Come on.

We can share a beer.

Come on, curtis.

Come on.

Please?

Get out.

I get up early so I can come in

My kitchen and have a little

Peace time with myself.

That's what I do.

I'm gonna get my time.

Uhh!

I ain't got my time.

I ain't got my time.

Hi, uncle curtis.

Go away.

You like my dress?

No. I can't even see it.

I'm not gonna look at it 'cause

You're not here.

You need to buy a house.

Come on, c.J., you got a good

Job.

I should know, it was my job.

I know, unc. I'm sorry.

We're gonna go this afternoon

And look for a new house.

Thank you.

Uh, uncle curtis, I need some

Help with my math homework.

Do I look like a

"Mathemagician"?

It's mathematician!

It's your ass to the

Whoopin'!

Hey, uh, dad, I need some

Help with my homework.

Not right now, jazzy.

Yeah, yeah.

Unc, I promise, we gonna go and

Get a house as soon as we can.

Oh, c.J., look.

Hayden and jayden, he's doing

The cutest thing.

Look. Watch.

Oh, we have to find that camera.

I want to take some pictures of

Them.

They have on new outfits.

Look, they match.

Uh, I'm wearing a new outfit.

What did baby...?

Am I invisible here?

I see you.

Hey, cookie jar.

Who's a cutie?

Who's a cookie jar?

Ain't he cute?

Oh, he loves that.

Psst.

He's a cutie.

Huh? What?

Shh.

Plug this in.

Plug this in?

Plug this in.

Plug that in for you?

What the hell?

What the hell is this?!

What are you doing?!

I'm plugging it in for him.

For the double dutch.

Ella, stop!

You said I couldn't stay in

Your house.

I'm out here.

Curtis...

I got a feeling I'm gonna

Kill you.

Curtis.

I know I'm a kill you.

Curtis.

Oh!

Floyd!

Ta-da!

Uh, could one of you quiz me

On my math?

Baby, why don't you go ask

Your mom or your daddy?

They're too busy with the

Babies.

I got you. Come on.

Show me what you got.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, ooh!

Oh, curtis, she doesn't have

That many problems.

Heh, a-heh.

Okay, you ready?

Yes.

"Linda's family traveled 400

And -- 400 -- wait.

495 miles going 55 miles per

Hour.

I wish your family would

Travel 495 miles at 100 miles

An hour.

They made 3 stops for

3 minutes and 2 stops for

5 minutes.

Your family made one stop and

Stayed.

How long did the trip take?"

All my damn life.

Uh, let's see.

9 hours and...

Wait, wait, wait.

[ laughs ]

Curtis, maybe you ought to be

Glad calvin wasn't on this trip.

[ chuckles ]

'cause it would have taken him

9 days.

He would drink this large soda,

And then he would have to stop

9 to 10 times before we'd

Get where we were going.

What did we call him, baby?

The whiz.

'cause he peed on down the road.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, ho ho!

I remember that.

Oh, I needed that laugh.

I couldn't stand him then.

I think that's when I first

Started hating him.

No, it wasn't then.

It was when you brought him

Home.

No, it was when you told me you

Was pregnant.

That's what it was.

Whatever.

Okay, the twins are asleep.

Miss ella, you have to look at

My babies.

Excuse me, jazzy.

Excuse me.

Look, look, look, look.

Wait, wait, wait.

Sorry.

Um, show auntie ella

The pictures of me in

North carolina.

Oh, baby, I think I had to

Delete those to make some room

For -- just look at hayden

And jayden!

Ooh, baby.

I wish I could delete your

Family out my house.

Oh!

Okay, let's go, baby.

We're gonna be late.

Baby, look at this picture of

Jayden.

Oh, he's so cute.

Looks like his daddy.

Yes. Oh, jazzy, do me a

Favor.

Go and turn on the baby monitor

For me, okay?

Thank you.

Come on, now. We got to go.

Open house ends at 3:00.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I hope you find a house.

Scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot,

Scoot.

Thank you.

Oh, I'll get my purse and

Everything.

Don't come back till you

Do-do-do-do!

Okay, here's the baby

Monitor.

Come on, baby.

You know, hayden and jayden

Aren't so bad when they're

Asleep.

Neither are you.

Want to go to sleep?

[scoffs]

So, where's my mom and dad?

Baby, they just left.

No! But I wanted to go with

Them so I could pick out my own

Bedroom.

Jazmine, don't worry about

That.

Baby, come on.

You can help me take care of

Jayden and hayden.

Oh, great.

Hey.

Scissor.

What's happening, bro?

Uhh!

What's wrong?

What the hell are you doing?

I'm watching tv.

What are you doing with my

Robe on?

You like it, right?

Get off my couch.

I'm just waiting on the

Cable guy.

I wanted to watch this show.

Get off my couch!

Come on, I just need --

I said get off my couch!

Oh! Come on, man!

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What are you doing?

What are you doing in my

House?

Well, what are you doing with

Those for sale signs?

What for sale signs?

Those for sale signs.

The ones that say for sale.

Look, I'm putting them away

Because I don't want c.J. To see

Them.

Why, is he stealing them or

Something?

No, he didn't steal them.

I stole them.

I mean, I didn't steal them.

Tell the truth, curtis.

Look, I don't want c.J. To

See 'em because then he'll think

There's something available in

The neighborhood.

Hmm.

And then he'll think he can

Live here nearby, and then there

Goes the neighborhood!

I know that.

We can't have them kind of

People living in this

Neighborhood.

That's some craziness.

I wouldn't live over here --

Shut up.

But, look, I--

You know what?

I got to go, man.

I just remembered something.

I left some barbecue on the

Grill up on my balcony.

Take that robe off!

Oh, hey, mr. Floyd.

I see you moved in.

Hey, little man, what's

Going on?

It ain't much, but it's home,

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, well, this is nice.

You know, I wish I would have

Thought about this.

You got a good little setup

Here.

Well, thank you very much.

You know, I would invite you in,

But I haven't cleaned up the

Basement.

[ chuckles ]

So, uh, how's business at the

Shop?

Well, right about now with

This economy [chuckles] We had

To make a few cuts.

[ laughing ]

I'm killing myself.

Whoo.

Boy, that walk-in closet is

Tight.

I really want to tell you

Something.

Things really ain't

That good with ol' floyd.

Woman troubles?

Yep, you know it.

[ chuckles ]

I hear you.

But, you know, it's vonita.

See, I really was taking this

Marriage thing real serious.

I mean, I even stopped dating

For a while.

Yeah, but now, she comes home...

All attitude and everything,

Talking about, [deep voice]

"I don't think I want to be

Married to you anymore."

Vonita sound like a dude.

[ normal voice ] It's scary

In the mornings.

Well, you know what?

I can relate.

You can relate?

Yeah, I can relate.

Now, I've been married 30

Years, and you can relate to me.

Well, let me explain it

To you.

Explain it, bro.

All right. I remember.

I was in sixth grade.

Lisa rose came to me and said

She needed "Space."

Said she needed "Space."

Uh-huh, just like that.

All that attitude.

Yeah.

Wow.

But you know what?

The next day, she came, was all

Over me!

See, that's how they do!

That's how they do!

See, that's how a woman's mind

Thinks, see?

Once they get a taste of the

Love buffet, ha ha, then they

Want to complain about the

Calories.

Oh! Speak, brother!

All right.

Ow!

Let 'em use you.

Oh!

Hey!

Hey!

You on medication?

But have you thought about

This?

Do you think there's someone

Else?

Boy, you did that like a real

Preacher.

I like that.

I like that, but [scoffs] Ain't

Nobody else, bro.

Ain't nobody else, 'cause once

You get a taste of floyd, I'm

Hard to avoid.

You know, they same the same

Thing about me.

What?

Once you've been with malik,

Other brothers is weak.

[ both laugh ]

You don't never rhyme, but it

Happened that time.

[ both laugh ]

Well, you know what?

I'm sure she's coming to her

Senses, and she's climbing the

Fences! Ha! Ha!

She came to her senses and

Climbing fences!

Ooh.

Senses and fences.

See, that's the problem with

Kids.

They just don't know when to cut

It off, brother.

You should have left it alone at

The last one.

Sorry.

Well, you know what?

I'm sure she's climbing the

Walls right now for you.

Like spider-man.

Bro, there was this one time in

Particular, 'cause she likes

Climbing walls somewhat, she had

This bungee cord connected to

The chandelier.

Right, had on a cat suit, man,

And she had this whip-- mm.

How old are you?

16.

Mm.

I can't tell you that story

Unless you're accompanied

By a parent or the police.

Holler at you later.

You guys left me!

Oh, I'm sorry, baby, but we

Found a beautiful house.

Here, look at the pictures.

Oh, did you erase pictures of

Hayden and jayden to get

Pictures of the house?

Jazzy, here.

Look at it -- garden suite,

Master cave, different address.

You got to love it.

It's a 2-story, 3-bedroom

House.

It might be a little out of our

Price range, but I think we can

Manage it.

What do you mean, out of your

Price range?

Ain't nothing out of your

Price range.

Look, you took my job, steal

Another job.

Have two jobs.

Supposed to be the happiest day

Of my life!

I mean, your life.

The happiest day of your life.

[ laughs ]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Where is this house?

It's in decatur, east side.

No, no, no.

Decatur? That's way across town.

Oh, baby, be so dramatic.

It's not way -- decatur's not

That far.

I walk to decatur all the time.

I walk to decatur.

Decatur takes two days.

Oh, is my room upstairs

Or downstairs?

Oh, your room is going to be

Upstairs.

We're gonna have malik's room be

Right next to the stairs, right?

And then you and the twins can

Share a room right next to us.

Me and the twins sharing a

Room?

Yes.

But I thought I had my own

Room.

That's not -- that's not gonna

Work.

Hush your mouth.

Yes, it is gonna work.

Baby, there's two levels.

Two levels, master cave.

[ laughs ]

There's a finished basement.

Mm-hmm.

Can that be my room?

Unh-unh, unh-unh.

That's a man cave.

Man cave.

I don't want to sleep with

The twins.

I want my own room!

Jazmine, go to your room.

I don't have a room!

You aren't even listening!

Ooh, lord.

Oh, I'm gonna have to get my

Belt.

Um, jazmine ran away.

> oh, that's great.

One down, eight to go.

Get the hint, floyd?

No, this is serious.

She -- she -- she left this

Note, and her bed doesn't look

Like it's been touched all

Night.

Curtis.

What do you mean it doesn't look

Like she slept in her bed?

It's not -- it's not messed

Up or anything.

Say, "I'm 'runting'..."

I -- I can't even read --

She went to a gifted school,

And she can't spell?

Curtis, everything on here is

Spelled right.

Did you go to school?

"I'm running away to someplace."

Hey, janine, just wait a minute

Now.

Wait a minute what?

Wait a minute what?

She ran away.

Calm down. Calm down.

Look, look.

I ran away when I was her age.

You ran away yesterday.

You got a tent in my backyard.

Oh, that reminds me, too.

I left my bathtub running

Upstairs.

I'll be right back.

I don't want to flood out the

Basement.

[ door closes ]

Jazmine's out there all by

Herself.

I don't even know where she is.

[ sighs ]

C.J.!

Calm down. We don't--

C.J., jazmine ran away.

What?

Look, look.

She left this note, and her bed

Doesn't look like it's been

Touched, and her backpack is

Gone.

We have to go out and find my

Baby.

Okay, okay, hold on, hold on.

Calm down.

How you gonna tell me to calm

Down?

I can't calm down!

I don't where -- look at this!

Everybody, calm down!

Ain't nobody calmed up...

'cept her.

I know where she is.

What?

Yes. Look at the note.

It says right here in the letter

That she went to a safe place.

So what, c.J.?

Uncle curtis taught malik and

Jazmine that the safest place in

The world is a fire station,

All right?

Malik used to run away all the

Time and hide out in the

Crawl space, right, uncle?

That's what I figured.

I even made the place up real

Nice, hoping that malik wouldn't

Want to come back.

Ha.

Calm down, baby.

I'll go get her, okay?

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Told you.

[ chuckles ]

Wow, what a house.

Foxy ladies...

Y'all get ready.

Margaritas will be ready in

30 seconds.

Don't forget your swimsuits.

Nope. Don't bring your sister

'cause those house-arrest

Anklets ain't waterproof.

Y'all come on!

Floyd!

Hmm?

If you don't stop yelling at

My neighbors...

They my neighbors, too.

No, they're not.

Look here, brother.

Come here.

What?

Got to get you an apartment,

Man.

You know I can't afford that,

Man.

Come on.

Matter of fact, I think this

Single life is kind of becoming,

You know what I mean?

It's real good for me.

I mean, I feel like --

Look at my skin.

It's glowing.

Floyd, your skin ain't

Glowing.

It's 98 degrees out here.

It's not glow, it's sweat.

And you're funky.

No, for real, though, man.

Vonita does not know what she

Has done for me.

Nor how much suffering she's

Brought to everybody else.

No, really.

I mean, the single life is

Really becoming, man.

I think I really have found

My purpose in life.

Being a burden to your

Friends.

No.

I mean staying out late at

Night, drinking and rubbing up

Against beautiful women.

[ humming ]

Rub against me, I'll kill

You.

No, seriously, man.

And if you rub up against

Women like that, then my purpose

In life is gonna be trying to

Collect your bail money.

Just keep it down.

No, curtis, seriously,

Though.

I mean, I got everything I need

Here.

Man, look.

I got my bachelor pad.

I got my margaritas, and I live

Right next door to my bff.

Best friend forever.

Well, who could that be?

And get your hands off me.

Are you losing your mind?

Oh, this the cable guy.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you he

Was coming.

Hey, I'm floyd stanley jackson.

How's it going?

All right.

No, the big screen is right this

Way.

He must be going to get his

Tools and stuff.

But, no, I'm telling you, bro.

I'm getting ready to get the

Fine package.

Bro, I'm getting the

Ultimate sports package.

I'm also getting unlimited

Movies, and I'm getting hd.

Oh, and you're getting

Divorced.

[ chuckles ]

Jazmine, you had me scared to

Death.

Do you know how much trouble

You're in?

Young lady, why did you run

Away?

Because things were different

When I came back from boarding

School.

Different how, baby?

Well, I thought that you guys

Were gonna be excited to see me,

But you were too busy taking

Care of hayden and jayden.

Honey, they're babies.

They need a lot of attention.

Yeah, I know, but I used to

Be the baby, but even though I'm

Not anymore, I still need

Attention.

Sweetheart, you're a big girl

Now.

Hayden and jayden need for you

To be their big sister just like

You needed malik to be your

Big brother.

Did you guys send me to

Boarding school to get rid of

Me?

No, baby, no.

No.

Sweetheart, we would never,

Never do anything like that to

You.

But you deleted me out of the

Camera.

Baby, we have taken so many

Pictures of you that they're

Just too many to put in one

Camera.

So, sweetheart, there has

Been a lot going on, and we

Apologize for having ignored

You, okay?

And you're gonna always be

My little baby girl.

Come here.

Aw, see?

All better, but you are still in

A lot of trouble.

Mm-hmm.

Well, wait a minute.

She in a lot of trouble for

What?

Running away.

Why you gonna tell her she's

In trouble for that?

I don't get you.

That's why the girl's confused.

She do something good, you

Punish her.

She do something bad, you --

You give her candy.

Look, the girl tried to help her

Uncle curtis out.

She's running away 'cause she

Knows it just makes everything

Better.

You don't punish the girl for

That.

Uncle curtis...

She's trying to help.

You could learn from that and

Try to be like her.

Matter of fact, take her to get

Some ice cream now 'cause she

Really did something nice.

Come here, babe!

Look at you.

Sit down.

Well, look at that.

Your family has their own house,

And you got your own room.

[ laughs ]

Ain't that nice?

Mm-hmm.

That means no more running

Away, right?

Yes, sir.

All right, then.

You got everything you need.

Except for this.

Bam!

[ gasps and laughs ]

Hello!

Oh, my goodness!

Ha ha! Ha ha!

That's your very own camera.

So since you and your family are

Moving away, and me and

Aunt ella ain't gonna be able

To see you often anymore.

[ chuckles ]

Uncle curtis, we're moving right

Down the street.

Since you and your family are

Moving away, and me and your

Aunt ella are not gonna see you

Often anymore...

Now you can take pictures and

Send them to us, and we can

Watch you grow up.

[ laughs ]

Isn't that cool?

Yeah.

[ laughs ]

You know, my father used to tell

Me, he said, "Pictures are

Stolen moments."

So you take that camera, and

You go and be a little thief!

[ laughs ]

Oh.

I can't stand her.

[ knock on door ]

Yes?

[ camera shutter clicks ]

Ooh!

Oh, I just stole a moment.

Look at you -- natural-born

Thief.