Original subtitles

Ma! Just go!

Mommy, please go.

I'll meet you at the condo.

Whoo, you need your butt

Whupped!

[all talking at once]

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hello?

But we do need to know where

You have been.

Can I talk to my wife alone?

Can you talk to your wife at

Home?

Your home.

Pop, please.

Did he put his hands on me?

Did he put his hands on me?

I think he did.

Mom.

What?

Okay, calvin.

I'm just a concerned mother.

I understand that this is

Between you and your wife, but

We do need to know where you

Have been.

Come on, y'all, let's go in

The kitchen.

Fine. Curtis.

What?

Let's move, baby.

Miranda, where have you been?

That's what we just asked.

We just want to know where

You've been.

That's all we want to know

About.

[all talking at once]

Hey! Hey! Hey! Privacy!

Your kitchen!

Privacy! Your home!

Honey.

Miranda, we've been worried

Sick.

Where have you been?

I just can't, okay?

Just let's not do this now.

No, no, no.

Then when? Then when?

Calvin, I can't!

Miranda, come back.

[all talking at once]

Take him back!

Please take him back!

Please take him back!

Come on, curtis, please.

Get back in here and close that

Door.

That's their business.

Please, baby.

Now look out the window.

Move that out the way.

Look out the window so they

Won't see you.

So, where do you think she

Went all this time?

I don't know, but I'm glad

She's back.

Maybe she just needed some

Time to find herself.

Ha! That's funny.

I remember when you went to go

Try to find yourself.

Oh, oh, oh, baby, baby, he's

Trying to get in the car.

He's trying to get in the

Car?

She's pushing him out the

Car.

Okay. Okay.

Push back.

What happened?

Curtis, stop.

Push back, boy!

Push back!

She's pushing him out.

She's pushing him out.

She shut the--she's driving off.

Curtis.

Grab the bumper!

Grab the bumper and hold on!

What now? What now?

Don't be such a punk.

He's coming back.

No!

Pop, open--

Ooh!

It's over.

I give up. I'm done.

Son...

Why you didn't grab the bumper?

I told you, grab the bumper and

Hold on!

So what you get a little scraped

Up, boy?

Your knees are already scraped

Up from begging.

Your body will match.

Nothing wrong with being scraped

Up, son.

You got to follow through.

That's your problem.

You don't follow through!

Curtis.

Stupid firehouse.

I don't even know why I go

There.

They don't even want me there.

Why do I go there?

Oh. Anybody here?

Nobody in the living room.

Nobody in the kitchen.

Anybody kit--anybody in the

Kitchen?

Nobody in the kitchen.

Nobody in my chair.

Little peace and quiet.

Ooh. Ahh.

Leave me alone!

Aah, hell.

Calvin, please.

C.J., you saw him.

Hold up.

I cannot hear myself think!

I wish I could hear you think

About moving!

C.J., you have got to talk to

Calvin about miranda.

Yes, you and calvin have been

Like brothers.

He will listen to you.

Anybody want to talk to me?

Calvin does not need to talk

To me.

He needs to talk to miranda.

Hey. Hey.

Did anybody tell miranda about

My forced retirement?

Are you gonna talk to him?

It's always about miranda

And calvin!

What about me?

They took my job, now you took

My chair!

I need time my chair.

I need my peace and quiet.

Ugh!

I'm not invisible, okay?

I'm a person. I'm sensitive.

Be a little considerate.

I'll be back.

Okay, c.J.

If you won't talk to calvin, I'm

Gonna tell curtis about you

Taking his job.

No, no, no, no.

I'll talk to calvin. Man.

Nice.

Hey, cuz. You all right, man?

Hey, listen, how about we just

Have a little talk, man to man?

No. No, no, no, no.

Calvin, listen to me.

You cannot sit around here

Moping all day.

What are you watching? What--

What is that, "Oprah"?

Are you kidding me?

Calvin, listen to me.

He who findeth a wife...

Lives with her.

Listen to me. That is your wife.

That is the mother of your

Child, calvin.

Listen to me.

You've got to be reunited with

Her.

Listen to me.

You need to be reunited with

Her.

Calvin, listen, you fought a

Good fight.

You can't give up now.

You've got to get back in there

And get her back.

That's right, you need to get

Back into that house, and you

Need to get back with your wife.

That's exactly what I was

Gonna say.

Yeah. Yeah.

You're right, c.J.

It's good to hear a man's point

Of view.

What the hell?

I'm gonna go back there, I'm

Gonna do whatever it takes to

Get my wife back.

Huh?

Well, we had a man-to-man

Talk.

My work is done.

Wha--

Ladies and gentlemen, bushes

And shrubs, this is your captain

Speaking.

Payne air regrets to inform you

That the house is overbooked.

I'm so proud of you.

Ha ha ha!

What are you doing?

What--what are you doing?

What you doing? Step back.

What you doing?

Now, I got a lot on my mind,

Ella.

I need some peace and quiet.

And since all the freeloaders

Here won't leave, I have staked

Out my territory.

This is my castle.

Have you lost your mind?

Get back in the moat, sir

Lady-stay-a-lot.

Baby, I'm standing in the foyer.

That's my tv room.

This is my study.

Oops, I'm in the pool.

And this is the master bedroom

Suite.

Where'd you put the padded

Cell?

Next to your padded bra.

Oh, maybe that's my delivery.

Ooh!

What delivery?

Wait, wait, wait.

My wigs are here. Great!

You can bring in the rest.

What wigs? Wigs for what?

Claretha is starting a

Business on the internet.

Baby, you just walked through

The pool.

What internet business?

Claretha's wigs of dignity.

Wigs of what?

Dignity!

What the hell do you know

About dignity?

You living in my garage after

Being dropkicked by a fake

Prince--african prince from

Mississippi.

Curtis, that's not nice.

That's mean.

But it's true, though.

Dignity.

Curtis, this website is gonna

Sell wigs to people who just

Want to feel good about

Themselves.

It'll let them feel a sense

Of hope.

I believe that's what jesus

Would do.

Oh, please, that's so stupid.

Jesus. I know jesus personably,

And the one thing he don't need

Is a wig.

Baby, how do you know so much

About jesus?

How?

"Ebony" and "Jet."

Curtis, why don't you help

Him bring the rest of the boxes

In?

Do I look like your office

Boy?

No, you look like a doughboy.

But help him anyway.

Look, y'all ain't bringing no

Boxes in this house.

Get over it.

Ain't gonna bring them in this

House, and you're not bringing

Them in this castle, period.

Curtis, this is a good

Business, and the sooner

Claretha makes money, the sooner

She can get out of here.

Please, nobody's falling for

That crap, ella.

Look, I just want to enjoy a

Little peace and quiet in the

Sunset years of my life.

I hear you, curtis, and I

Truly, truly understand.

I promise you from the bottom

Of my heart, and may the angels

Bear witness, you will never

Know the boxes are even there.

You okay in there, your

Majesty?

Get away from my castle.

And take your dragon with you.

Rahhhr.

[knock on door]

Miranda, let me in.

Calvin, go away.

If you had your key, why did you

Knock?

Please talk to me.

Calvin, I have nothing to

Say.

Nothing?

Not even where you were all this

Time or why you made me think

You were missing or worse?

Miranda, where were you?

Look, miranda, if we're gonna

Make this work, you have to talk

To me.

Listen. I need some time.

Okay. I'll--I'll give you

Time, you--you and the baby.

But if you want me to wait until

The baby's born, fine.

If you want to send him to

School, if you want to watch him

Go to college, it's okay.

But I'll be right outside that

Door every day, and I'll ask

You, "Baby, are you ready yet?

No? Okay.

Then I'll be out there tomorrow,

And I'll ask you again until

You're ready."

Miranda, I'm not willing to

Lose you...

Or the baby growing in your

Stomach.

I love you, and I'll do anything

To get you both back.

Calvin, there is no both.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

Calvin, there is no both.

Wait, what do you mean,

There's no baby?

Please don't make me.

Please.

Miranda, what happened?

Don't make me talk about it,

Please.

Baby, I'm sorry.

Look, I--I should have been

There for you.

I'm sorry.

I don't want you to be

There.

Calvin, I caught you kissing

Another woman.

Okay? And then I learned that

You are already a father.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

What--what else is there

Gonna be, calvin?

Is there gonna be something

Every day?

Okay, look, but I'm here for

You now, and you're my wife and

I'm your husband.

We're a family.

Oh, we're a family now.

Hah!

Calvin, you need to leave.

Miranda, I love you.

Oh.

You love me now.

You love me?

Baby, you got to ask?

Yes, I do have to ask,

Calvin.

And you know what?

Since you want to talk about

Love, if you love me the way you

Say that you love me, you need

To walk out of this door and

Leave me alone right now.

Baby, stop.

Please go.

[sobbing]

I want this back.

This is mine. I want this back.

That's a good one.

That's good.

That's--right there.

All right.

I did--where's my castle?

Here's your castle.

Baby, come on, I just took

All those boxes out there to the

Trash, and I came back to carry

You to the trash.

Curtis, now, this is for

Claretha's business, baby.

Oh, what business now, baby?

What you doing, passport photos?

Fake I.D.S?

Can we take a picture of you

With your butt leaving out the

Door?

I have to take photos of the

Wigs for my internet site.

Everybody's gonna model.

You know, you can model, too.

Don't you touch me.

I wish you would try to put a

Wig on me.

You'd be wearing a wig in your

Afterlife.

And I hope you go to heaven,

Because they don't look

Fireproof.

I want my house back.

Let's take some pictures.

Janine, are you all set?

I'm ready.

Come on, come on, come on,

Come on.

All right, janine, we're

Ready for you!

Ooh.

Ha ha! Stick it to the man.

What the hell?

This is what I call my

Angela davis model--comfortable

Enough for the supermarket or

The revolution.

Hmm.

I sure hope the revolution is

Not televised.

Okay, I'm mean. Look at me.

Argh.

Power to the people.

Power to the people.

Pbht!

You know what?

That's what ella looked like

When we first met.

Same hair she had.

Well, wait till you see her

Now.

Next!

Ta-da!

Shake it. Shake it.

Oh! Yeah.

Ah, the classic.

And at 19.99, it's a must-have.

It looks like a muskrat.

Curtis, please go on in

There.

There's one in there for you.

In the kitchen. Please?

No.

We need you to take a picture

For the internet.

I'm not taking no picture for

No internet.

You get a picture on the

Internet, next thing you know,

It's your head with denzel's

Body.

Ooh, then you have to take

That picture.

It'll help me move out

Sooner.

Where's that wig at?

Hey, this is hot.

This is--no, better than--this

Is hotter.

This wig is hot.

Heh heh heh!

Bring out the stars.

Aww.

Ohh.

That is the funniest thing I

Have ever seen.

Ho ho.

I'm gonna take your picture now.

Turn him around.

Snap it.

"Super freak."

I stand corrected.

Oh, great. They took my job.

All of you took the pie.

I'm just invisible around here.

Move.

You know, curtis, we

Appreciate you letting us come

Back here and stay, you and aunt

Ella.

Baby, that's what family

Does.

Heh!

No, that's not what family

Does, ella.

That's what we do.

Do you know that, in new guinea,

If a family moves out from the

Tribe, you can't come back?

I don't care what happens.

If you lose your job as a wild

Pig hunter or you--you--it

Happens you're in a drought or

Your wife burned down your hut,

You can't come back.

You'll be cannibalized.

Curtis.

Baby, it's the truth.

Well, you know, I'm actually

About to start a new job soon.

When? Where?

I don't think it has been

Determined.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Duh!

Why doesn't anyone in this house

Want to talk about the elephant

In the room?

Oh, we can talk about curtis.

I heard that!

And you be quiet.

C.J., go get the babies.

Jumbo broke his chain.

Somebody throw him some

Peanuts.

Rarr!

That's it! That's it!

Cheetah woman, giraffe girl,

That's it!

I'm through with it!

I'm gonna put it down.

I'm gonna tell you what's going

On, and you gonna hear it, and

That's the way it's gonna be,

All right?

Number one, c.J., you and your

Posse, you got one month!

You heard?

One month, and you got to be out

Of here, homey.

I'm fine with that.

I didn't ask you to talk!

It don't matter whether you like

It or not!

Ella, I'm moving back in the

Room!

The castle's done with.

I'm coming back.

I'm doing like the bible says.

I'm gonna cleave to my wife, and

We shall be one flesh, you

Heard?

Curtis payne, you can quote

The bible?

Only the good parts.

Hello.

And you, wicked witch of the

West, you got 7 days, you heard

Me?

7 days.

But they got a whole month.

They're blood.

And we know how that worked

Out.

You can have calvin's room

For a week.

Then you got to roll.

What if calvin has to come

Back and stay?

Calvin's gonna handle his

Business.

He got the payne mojo in him.

He's working it.

I bet you him and miranda's

Cleaving together even as we

Speak, you heard?

I need to move back into my

Room.

What happened to your mojo?

Well, curtis, calvin still

Does not want to talk about

Miranda.

He just laid down and fell right

Asleep.

Hmm. Calvin asleep.

The kids asleep.

Yes.

C.J. And janine are out for

The night, and claretha's out

Running errands.

What do you say we go to the

Back room and have a little

Us time?

Curtis, please, not tonight.

Voilà!

Ohh. I remember. I remember.

It's disco time.

Oh, girl.

Disco time.

Oh, girl.

* it's disco time

Oh, child.

Ha ha ha!