Original subtitles

Previously on

"House of payne"...

Oh, miss ella.

Hi, baby.

We're having a baby!

Miranda?

We are having a baby, calvin.

Yes!

Miranda, have you met--you're

Blocking her, son.

You're blocking her.

This is tracie.

This is the first baby mama.

That's miranda. That's his wife.

What are you doing here?

I came by to talk to

Miss ella about her grandson.

Miranda...

Hi.

Oh, hell, no.

You know miscarriages run in

My family.

The doctor said I can't be under

Stress.

I promise you, I'm gonna fix

This.

You don't have to stress.

Hey.

I'm gonna need you all to

Understand something.

Miranda is my wife, and I love

Her.

Now, you, I don't want you

Popping up at my mom's house,

And anytime you need to call

Me, it needs to be about my son.

Mercedes, from now on, our

Relationship is strictly

Business.

You are not gonna be with me.

You sought me out.

You came to my house.

Do you remember that?

So I don't need you, your

Money.

I wasn't trying to stress out

Your little wife.

I didn't even know about her,

Okay?

I thought you might want to know

About your son.

[door slams]

I can't do it anymore!

I just can't do it.

Yes, you can. Yes, you can.

Miranda.

Let me go.

Look, miranda, please.

You cannot stress me out.

My stomach is a knot.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I have got to go!

Miranda, please!

Miranda, please.

Miranda!

I got this. I got this.

What are you doing?

All that noise.

Me and your mama back

There--uhh...

Pops, right now is not the

Time for jokes.

But why are you out here with

All that noise?

And what's that mariachi music I

Was hearing?

Was that car woman here?

Miar--mariach--what's her name?

Mercedes something.

Yeah, she was here, tracie,

And miranda.

They were all here?

You got busted. You got busted.

I told you it was gonna happen.

Didn't I tell you?

I told you you'd get busted.

No, pops, I did not get

Busted.

I invited them over.

Invited them over?

Son, you got two "Diary of a mad

Black woman."

You invite them to your

House--excuse me--my house,

And add one "Diary of a mad

Black mexican woman."

Latina, pops.

I know what the hell I'm

Saying.

Latina, mexican--it's the same

Thing in english.

Pops, please.

Why would you do something so

Stupid?

Pops, I thought I could

Reason with them.

You know, they got a name for

Men who try to reason with mad

Black women.

The deceased.

Look, I thought I could get

Through to miranda at least.

You know what?

Forget about it.

Just forget about it.

At least you didn't beg.

Look on the bright side.

You didn't beg.

You couldn't have begged,

Because it ain't in your blood.

Payne men don't beg.

Well, I just--she was about

To leave, and I--

What you--

All right. Okay. Let it go.

Just let it go.

At least you ain't get on your

Knees.

Payne men don't get on their

Knees, because you get on your

Knees, you a punk, and ain't no

Payne punks in this world.

Let me see your knees.

Why?

Why are you hiding your

Knees?

Just comfortable.

How you do it? Like this?

I can't even do it.

Is it necessary?

There it is! I did it!

[cough]

What happened to my voice?

My voice went up.

You get on your knees, your

Voice goes up like that.

What, you put your hands

Together like this, and you--you

Just beg and you "Please"?

"Please, baby, don't--" you

Don't even feel right.

You probably cried, too.

No, no.

Oh, shut up, like you didn't

Cry.

I didn't cry.

Curtis, would you please

Stop it?

I am tired of seeing you on your

Knees, begging.

I'm not doing it.

Okay, I'm not doing it.

That's part of our little

Thing.

I'll break it down like this,

See?

You don't let no woman run your

Game, man.

You run the woman.

You don't let a woman tell

You--you don't let no woman tell

You--

Please, do you not hear this

Telephone?

Mom, don't--

Get your foot off that table.

Sorry, baby.

It's miranda again.

Mom, please, just tell her

I'm not here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not lying for you.

Mom, please.

No. Curtis--

Knee pads.

Got your knee pads.

Mom, do me a favor.

Don't--don't--

Hello.

Uh--uh, miranda, calvin is gonna

Have to call you back later,

Okay? In a minute.

All right.

Won't he?

Look, she's just gonna tell

Me it's over.

Now!

You don't know that.

You don't know that.

Look, mom, I've done

Everything that I can do.

Calvin.

Ow! Okay, look, can everybody

Please stop hitting me?

Who you talking to?

Talking to your mama?

Don't you talk to your mama

Like that.

Okay, okay.

Calvin, sit down.

Okay, baby, I'm running out of

Ways to say this to you.

You--you're gonna have to find a

Way to fix your marriage.

Mom, I've done everything

That I can do.

Okay, when you guys married

Each other, you said, "For

Better or for worse."

Baby, that's right.

That's the word.

You didn't do what the word

Said--do what deutraromony

Say.

Do what's in deutraromony.

And do it for better, because

You're wearing worse the hell

Out.

Mom, I don't think she wants

To--

Calvin!

Get your butt up and go call

This girl.

Call your wife now.

All right, all right, all

Right.

He's so soft.

Hey, it's me.

I can't hear him.

I can't hear. Speak up.

I can't hear you.

Look, I know things are

Pretty messed up right now.

I know, but I don't want to do

This over the phone.

I want to see you.

No, no, no, no, just me this

Time, I promise.

Great. Great.

I can meet you there.

All right. Bye, baby.

Mm-hmm. That's more like it.

Thanks, ma.

You're welcome, baby.

I'm gonna go meet her.

Ella, where's my uniform?

You're wearing it.

Not this uniform.

My dress-up uniform, baby.

Well, curtis, it's in the

Back of your closet.

Baby, I looked in the closet.

I didn't see it.

Go get my uniform for me.

Excuse me.

Do I look like your servant?

Look, baby, the district

Chief said he wants to meet with

Me in the next hour, and I need

To be dressed up.

I got to be at my best.

And you still haven't gotten my

Uniform for me.

Curtis, please.

I got to go get my shoeshine

Kit out the garage.

Okay.

You go get my uniform,

Ella mae.

Unh-unh.

Ooh!

Baby, I saw a ghost.

I saw a ghost. I saw a ghost.

Wait up. Curtis.

Baby, I just saw the ugliest,

The most scariest-looking ghost

I've ever seen.

It's ugly!

It's the ghost of claretha's

Past, baby!

Claretha is not dead.

Damn.

Curtis, claretha is in

Africa, baby.

Move.

[all shout]

Ella!

Claretha!

La la la la la!

Ha ha! Oh. Ooh.

Greetings from the

Motherland, or as they say

In the native tongue,

[clicking tongue].

What did you just say?

Hello.

Oh, that was a lot.

As they say in my native

Tongue, [clicking], what the

Hell?

Curtis, I see you haven't

Lost any of your charm--or your

Weight.

Yeah.

What you doing back from africa?

I thought I'd come for a

Visit while the prince is on

Safari.

What the hell is he hunting

If you here?

Curtis, I want to hear about

Africa.

What, baby?

It's the same as atlanta, just

Hotter with less black people.

I could do this all day, but I

Got to go, because I'm in a

Hurry.

I got to go find my shoeshine

Kit, baby.

Shoeshine kit?

Oh, I see you're going into

Business for yourself.

Good for you, curtis.

No, he has a meeting with the

District chief.

Oh.

Yeah. We're going to discuss

Probably new cpr techniques, and

Then I can revive my ex-nosy

Neighbor who looks like she ran

Face-first into an ugly tree.

[laughing]

Who put this down?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, baby, you look handsome!

Bam!

Bam. Oh, baby.

Look like 20 years ago,

Don't it?

Curtis. Okay, baby, do you

Even know what the district

Chief wants to meet with you

About?

I don't know. You know what?

He probably want to get with me

About them proposals--all those

Proposals I had, those ideas.

What proposals, baby?

Baby, all the ideas I had.

You don't remember?

You remember all them ideas

I had.

Way back a long time ago, baby,

I had those things I wrote down.

Okay, first one.

Proposal number one.

Let's say you're in a

Skyscraper.

Skyscraper. Fire's happening.

You're in a hurry.

Can't call the fire department.

What you gonna do?

Can't go down; it's too far.

The ladder won't reach up; it's

Too high.

What you gonna do, huh?

Rocket belt.

Fwoom, fwoom!

Curtis, baby, curtis, I've

Heard enough, I've heard enough.

No, baby, I ain't even got to

My fire cats.

Don't nobody want to get no

Freckled dog.

No, no, don't nobody want to

Hear about a fire cat.

Baby--

Please, curtis, please, baby,

Listen.

You gonna be late for your

Little meeting, so just go.

Got to get to work.

Got to get to work.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Okay, baby. Love you.

Okay. Give me some. Ah.

Okay, baby, good luck.

Of course.

Love you.

Love you.

Love you.

Hey.

Hey, baby.

Did miranda call here?

No.

I thought you went to meet her.

I was, but I don't know

What's going on.

Last night I thought she never

Wanted to talk to me, and then

This morning she calls and says

She wants to meet with me, she

Wants to talk to me.

I met with her, but she didn't

Show up, so I did my part, and I

Don't know what's going on.

Okay, calvin, calvin!

Now just slow down, baby.

Sit down. Okay?

Uh, all right.

Maybe she's confused, huh?

Maybe she is.

Hey, baby.

This is not like her.

Okay, curtis, calvin is a bit

Upset about miranda.

Sit down, baby.

Tell him something.

Say something to him.

Curtis, did you hear--hear what

I said, baby?

Calvin?

Mom, she's not answering her

Phone.

Look, I can't just sit here.

Here.

Okay.

If she calls, tell her I'm at

Home.

I'm waiting for her there.

Calvin, okay, baby, just slow

Down.

It's gonna be fine.

She's gonna be okay.

Okay.

Okay, curtis, did you hear me?

Why didn't you say something,

Baby?

Where is she?

Okay, curtis, what's wrong

With you?

32 years.

They let me go.

I'm so sorry, baby.

What the hell am I gonna do,

Huh?

How can they just fire you?

Baby, they didn't fire me.

It's called forced retirement.

They're probably gonna replace

Me with some kid they can pay

Half of what they pay me.

And can you believe the district

Chief actually thought I should

Be happy?

Curtis, I'm sorry.

Sorry, baby.

Baby, you know, when I was

6 years old, there was an old

Lady who lived down the street

On the corner.

Her name was miss tomlinson.

She used to buy us popsicles in

The summertime.

One night, her house caught on

Fire, so me and some of the kids

On the block, we ran down to

See it.

They made us stand about a block

Off, because it was a roaring

Fire.

You know how they used to say,

"A roaring fire"?

Mm-hmm.

It was howl, baby.

You could hear it.

And all of a sudden, out of

Nowhere, this big, tall fireman

Stepped up...

Turned around, and...

Disappeared...

Into that fire...

A burning house.

And it was a couple of minutes,

And then, all of a sudden, he

Walked out of the fire, holding

Miss tomlinson in his arms.

And she was coughing a lot, but

She was okay, and he sat her

Down on the stretcher, then he

Stood up and he tipped his hat,

Turned around, and disappeared

Right back into the fire.

That's all I ever wanted to be,

Ella.

A firefighter.

Curtis, baby, you will always

Be a firefighter.

No, I won't, ella.

Curtis, yes, you will.

No, I won't, baby.

That's the whole point!

You don't get it?

Okay, curtis.

Baby, in a few weeks, I'm

Done.

It's over.

Curtis, you're gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay, baby.

Maybe we can--okay, anybody else

We can speak to?

Come on, curtis baby.

32 years, baby.

32 years!

32 years of my life, and it took

Them all of 5 minutes...

To tell me I'm done?

Come on.

Okay, curtis.

I don't even need that

Anymore.

I'm all right, baby.

I can't sleep.

I'm gonna go run my trains.

They won't fire me.

Force fired. My trains love me.

My trains.

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Hold on. Curtis, calm down.

Get it off of me!

Get it off me! Get it off!

What the hell is that?

It's just my underwear and

Pantyhose.

Aah! I'm burning.

My flesh is burning.

My flesh is melting.

Why are your pantyhose in my

Guest room?

Because there wasn't any room

In the bathroom.

Why are you in my guest room?

Ella said that I could stay

Here for a few days.

Why couldn't you stay at a

Hotel or a motel or an animal

Shelter?

[crying]

Oh, please, don't start all

That.

Claretha, don't start crying.

Come on. Baby, not in my chair.

Come on.

Oh!

Don't cry in this chair.

[crying]

32 years!

They let me go after 32 years!

Can you believe it?

Yeah.

I'm just a foolish old woman.

Oh!

Yeah.

You're not as foolish as I am.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Am too.

Am not!

You're not as bad off as me.

Curtis, I didn't go to africa.

But what about all the

African clothes?

Vintage.

I've had them for years.

That's the same with my

Uniform.

What about [imitating african

Language]

I got that from my aunt lulu.

She made that sound when she

Didn't have her teeth in.

Wh-what about [makes prince

Noise] Prince?

Didn't he take you to his

Country?

Oh, he wasn't a prince, and

He didn't take me to his

Country.

He took me to the country to

Live with his mama in

Mississippi.

Well, claretha, I'm sorry.

Not as sorry as I am.

Do you have any idea what it

Feels like at my age to have

Your whole world pulled from

Under you?

Come on, claretha.

I mean, you still got it.

Come on, girl.

Somebody pretended to be a

Prince just to get with you.

What?

I hadn't thought about it

Like that.

Thank you, curtis.

You know, you'll be all right,

Too.

I don't know about that.

What?

You walk into burning buildings.

You can face anything.

After all, you're curtis payne!

Ugh.

Ugh.

We like that all day long.

Ugh!

Ha ha ha! Yes, I am!

Yes, I am!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Did we just have a moment?

I think we did.

Ew.

Mom, dad, open the door!

Mom, dad, open the door!

Dad, let me in.

What's wrong with you?

Open the door.

It's 3:00 in the morn--what

Are you doing?

Ugh!

Curtis.

You know that's my soft spot.

Ew, punks fight dirty.

Okay, calvin, what's wrong

Now?

Miranda never came home.

She's with that architect.

See? I told you.

She still hasn't called?

No. I--I fell asleep at home.

I woke up.

It's 3:00 in the morning.

Where is she?

Did you call the police?

Yeah, of course I called the

Police.

I called everywhere.

Did you call her parents?

Yeah, but that didn't go

Too well.

I mean, I woke her up, and she

Didn't know where she was,

And--hello?

It's the police.

Yeah, yeah, it's me.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

I see.

Yeah, yeah, I can be reached at

This number, yes.

All right. Thank you.

What did they say?

They found miranda's car on

The side of the highway.

But they didn't find her.

Okay, baby, wait, wait.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

Just wait a minute, calvin.

[crying]