All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S05E10 - Slightly Payneful Truth WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:03,867 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 2 00:00:03,867 --> 00:00:04,633 OK, BABY, OK, BABY, I'LL SEE 3 00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:05,367 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 4 00:00:05,367 --> 00:00:06,300 OK, BABY, OK, BABY, I'LL SEE 5 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:07,067 YOU.YOU. 6 00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:08,433 [NOISY COUGHING]OISY COUGHING] 7 00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:09,033 OK. I'LL SEE YOU ALL. 8 00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:09,533 OK. I'LL SEE YOU 9 00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:10,300 I'LL SEE YOU. I WISH I COULD GO 10 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,067 WITH YOU. YEAH. OK.EE YOU. I WIU 11 00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:12,267 WITH YOU. YEAH. OK. 12 00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:14,733 HEY, C.J., TELL JAZMINE I'D LOVE 13 00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:15,367 TO SEE HER. I MISS HER. 14 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:16,000 TO SEE HER. I MISS HER. 15 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,433 I LOVE HER. 16 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,533 I LOVE HER. 17 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:18,133 OK. NO, NO. Y'ALL GO. 18 00:00:18,133 --> 00:00:18,767 OK. NO, NO. Y'ALL GO. 19 00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:19,433 NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 20 00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:20,167 NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 21 00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:20,867 IF I GET SICK, I'LL DRIVE-- 22 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:21,500 IF 23 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:22,233 [COUGHS] 24 00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:23,133 I'LL DRIVE MYSELF TO THE 25 00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,833 HOSPITAL. 26 00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:25,900 OK. LOVE YOU. 27 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,867 [HORN HONKS] 28 00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:28,567 BEAT IT. 29 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,633 SUCKERS. HA HA! 30 00:00:36,633 --> 00:00:38,833 LET THE GAMES BEGIN. 31 00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:44,800 UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU 32 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:45,433 DOING? 33 00:00:45,433 --> 00:00:46,167 WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M 34 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:46,767 DOING? 35 00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:47,433 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE 36 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:49,567 STRIPPING. 37 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:51,600 I'M GETTING COMFORTABLE. 38 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,267 DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL 39 00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:54,067 AUNTIE ELLA THAT YOU COULDN'T GO 40 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:55,967 VISIT JAZMINE BECAUSE YOU WERE 41 00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:57,333 SICK? 42 00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:59,367 NEPHEW OF MINE, NOW, YOU CAN 43 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,667 STAND THERE AND TRIFLE IN 44 00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:02,800 DETAILS IF YOU WANT TO, OR YOU 45 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,167 CAN JOIN YOUR UNCLE FOR 46 00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:06,533 A BLISSFUL WEEKEND OF TV 47 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,300 WATCHING AND NAPPING AND 48 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,267 SNACKING. YOU KNOW ALL THAT 49 00:01:10,267 --> 00:01:14,200 GOOD, FUN RELAXING MAN STUFF. 50 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,233 [DOORBELL RINGS] 51 00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:19,433 OOH! IT'S BREAKFAST. 52 00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:23,067 HELLO. HA HA! 53 00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:24,833 TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE GOT. 54 00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:28,500 19.98? WHAT DID I GET? 55 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,733 WHAT YOU GOT? FOR TWO PIECES 56 00:01:29,733 --> 00:01:31,433 OF THIS? HERE'S A 20. 57 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:42,600 THANK YOU. 58 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,900 PIZZA AT LAST. PIZZA AT LAST. 59 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,200 THANK GOD ALMIGHTY. PIZZA AT 60 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:52,300 LAST. HEY, HEY. 61 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:53,967 WHA-- 62 00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:54,900 UNCLE CURTIS, I THOUGHT WE WERE 63 00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,300 SUPPOSED TO BE DOING, YOU KNOW, 64 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,367 THE ALL-AROUND MAN RELAXING 65 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,333 STUFF. 66 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:01,800 ME MAN, YOU BOY. UG! 67 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,400 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 68 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,567 MM-MM! DON'T GET IT. 69 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:05,600 DON'T GET THAT. DON'T GET THAT. 70 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:06,433 DON'T-- 71 00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:07,733 HELLO. 72 00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:08,733 [DEEP VOICE] 73 00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:13,067 HEY. HEY, BABE. 74 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,567 OH, YEAH. OH, YOU WANT TO COME 75 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:15,933 OVER? 76 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,333 WHY YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE? 77 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,733 [REGULAR VOICE] 78 00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:19,433 UNCLE CURTIS, I'M ON THE 79 00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:20,400 PHONE. 80 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:20,833 [DEEP VOICE] 81 00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,367 YOU COME ON OVER NOW THEN, BABE. 82 00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:23,367 AIN'T NOBODY COMING OVER 83 00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:24,933 HERE. 84 00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:25,800 YOU CAN COME ON OVER NOW, 85 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:26,767 THEN, BABY. 86 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,433 ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA BE HERE. 87 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:29,833 OK. 88 00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:30,800 [REGULAR VOICE] 89 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,133 OK, OK. SHE'S COMING OVER. 90 00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:33,067 ALEXANDRA'S COMING OVER. 91 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:33,733 ALEX IS COMING OVER. 92 00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:34,500 I GOT TO GO GET DRESSED. 93 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,867 I GOT TO GO GET DRESSED! AAH! 94 00:02:35,867 --> 00:02:36,633 HEY, LOOK, AIN'T NOBODY 95 00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:37,233 COMING OVER. 96 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,800 AIN'T NOBODY COMING OVER HERE. 97 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,067 THIS IS A MAN'S WEEKEND. 98 00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,600 THIS IS MY MAN ZONE. 99 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,300 NOBODY'S ALLOWED IN THE MAN'S-- 100 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,067 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, SUPERMAN? 101 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,200 YOU AIN'T DRESSED. 102 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,067 IT'S LIKE--UH-UH. YOU GOT TO GET 103 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,300 DRESSED. LOOK, ALEX IS COMING 104 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,433 OVER, AND YOU NEED TO GET 105 00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:52,800 DRESSED. YOU NEED TO PUT THESE 106 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,133 ON. PUT SHOES ON. 107 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:54,900 PUT SHOES ON. COME ON. COME ON. 108 00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,267 COE ON. COME ON. LOOK, LOOK, 109 00:02:56,267 --> 00:02:57,633 PUT THIS ON. PUT THIS ON. 110 00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:58,333 COME ON. WE NEED TO MOVE IT. 111 00:02:58,333 --> 00:02:58,933 WE NEED TO MOVE IT. 112 00:02:58,933 --> 00:02:59,600 WE NEED TO MOVE IT. 113 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,333 WE NEED TO MOVE IT. 114 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:01,100 CALM DOWN, MALIK. CALM DOWN. 115 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:01,833 COME ON. ALEX IS COMING 116 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,200 OVER. ALEX IS COMING OVER. 117 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,567 [MALIK SCREAMS] 118 00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,400 CALM DOWN! 119 00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:12,733 I TOLD YOU. NOW, LOOK, THIS IS 120 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:13,433 MY MAN WEEKEND. 121 00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:14,233 YOU'RE NOT GONNA MESS UP 122 00:03:14,233 --> 00:03:15,067 MY PEACEFUL WEEKEND. 123 00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,067 YOU HEARD ME? 124 00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:20,733 YOU NOT GONNA MESS IT UP, MALIK. 125 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,433 ALEX IS A-COMIN' OVER. 126 00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:23,967 SHE HAS TO ASK ME ONE THING, OK? 127 00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:24,800 AND THEN SHE'S GOING RIGHT BACK 128 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,567 HOME, OK? 129 00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:26,467 ARE YOU SURE? 130 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:29,100 I'M POSITIVE. 131 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,200 [CURTIS SCREAMS] 132 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,700 YOU GOT ANCHOVIES ON IT? 133 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:36,167 BLECCH! 134 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,133 [HORN HONKS, SIREN] 135 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:47,900 SEE, AS A BUSINESS OWNER, 136 00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,567 YOU GOT TO DIVERSIFY YOUR 137 00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:50,800 PORTFOLIO. 138 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,200 FLOYD, WHAT PORTFOLIO? 139 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,333 ALL YOU OWN IS THIS ITTY-BITTY 140 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:54,200 BARBER SHOP. 141 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,467 SEE? SMALL THOUGHTS FROM 142 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,267 SMALL MINDS. 143 00:03:58,267 --> 00:03:59,200 I GOT A BUSINESS WITHIN 144 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,233 A BUSINESS. 145 00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:01,067 EVERYTHING THAT COMES THROUGH 146 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:03,233 THAT DOOR, I GET A CUT OF IT. 147 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:07,667 CDs, SOCKS, EVEN STREET MEAT. 148 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,533 YES. SO EVERYTHING THAT COMES 149 00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:11,400 THROUGH THAT DOOR, I GET NOT 5, 150 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,500 NOT 10, BUT 20% OFF THE TOP. 151 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,267 THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL 152 00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:16,933 DIVERSIFICATION. 153 00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:17,933 THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL 154 00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:19,867 IGNORANTIFICATION. 155 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:22,067 I AM THE POWER BROKER OF 156 00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:24,800 ATLANTA, MR. WALL STREET. 157 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,933 MR. BROKE AS HELL. 158 00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,100 MR. BROKE AS HELL IS ABOUT TO 159 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,567 BE DADDY BIG BUCKS AROUND HERE 160 00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:32,500 REAL SOON. HEY, I HIRED 161 00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,733 A NEW BARBER. 162 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:34,733 WHAT? 163 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:35,567 YEAH. YEAH. AS A MATTER OF 164 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,533 FACT, HE USED TO DO ALL THE 165 00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:37,600 RAPPERS' HEADS. 166 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,867 AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE WAS 167 00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:40,900 TI's PERSONAL BARBER. 168 00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,700 AIN'T NO RAPPER NAMED TY. 169 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,133 SPELL TI, FLOYD. 170 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:49,433 T.I. IT'S ABOUT TO BE 171 00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:51,167 PACKED UP IN HERE LIKE 172 00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,933 A PREGNANT POODLE WITH A PECK OF 173 00:04:53,933 --> 00:04:56,500 PUPPIES. I'M TALKING ABOUT 174 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,733 BUSINESS IS GONNA BE BOOMING. 175 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,900 MORE BODIES, MORE BUSINESS. 176 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,800 CAN YOU SAY CHA-CHING? 177 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,767 CAN YOU SAY PE-PEPPERMINT? 178 00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:08,267 SO WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD UP. 179 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,767 YOU WENT AND HIRED SOMEBODY 180 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,700 WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING US? 181 00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:12,400 WHAT ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE WE 182 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,733 RECOMMENDED? 183 00:05:13,733 --> 00:05:15,400 THE GUY YOU RECOMMENDED? 184 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,067 ANYBODY THAT HAS A BAD HAIRCUT 185 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:17,967 LIKE THAT CANNOT BE A GOOD 186 00:05:17,967 --> 00:05:20,533 BARBER. THE ONE YOU RECOMMENDED 187 00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:23,100 COULDN'T EVEN CUT A SANDWICH. 188 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,300 WELL, PAUL'S JUST ECCENTRIC. 189 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,367 ECCENTRIC? HELL. 190 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,133 HE LOOK HOMELESS, ALL RIGHT? 191 00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:30,300 AS A MATTER OF FACT, HIS CORN 192 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:33,567 ROWS LOOKED LIKE CORN DOGS. 193 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,867 AND, KIKI, THE ONE THAT YOU 194 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,567 RECOMMENDED, HE BROUGHT A GUN 195 00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:37,400 TO HIS INTERVIEW. 196 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,200 OH! 197 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,100 OH, THAT'S 'CAUSE HE A COP. 198 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,867 OK, HE WAS ON "COPS." 199 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:47,067 WE AIN'T EXACTLY IN BUCKHEAD. 200 00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:47,900 HEY. OOH. HERE COME MY CASH 201 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,067 COW NOW. 202 00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:50,233 OOH! 203 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,067 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 204 00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:52,700 HEY, KIKI, COME HERE. 205 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,633 DANA, KIKI, THIS IS ZACH, 206 00:05:55,633 --> 00:05:58,833 YOUR NEW CO-WORKER. 207 00:05:58,833 --> 00:06:00,700 ZACH? 208 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:05,667 MALIK, CAN I TALK TO YOU IN 209 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:06,767 THE KITCHEN? 210 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,800 UH, MALIK, CAN YOU PLEASE 211 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,900 TAKE HER OVER TO HER HOUSE AND 212 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,533 TALK, PLEASE? 213 00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:13,233 HE CAN'T. CONSUELA'S GOT 214 00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:14,867 EVERYBODY MAD OVER THERE. 215 00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:15,767 IT'S REALLY UGLY OVER THERE 216 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:16,367 RIGHT NOW. 217 00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:17,133 IT'S ALWAYS UGLY OVER THERE 218 00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:18,833 RIGHT NOW. 219 00:06:18,833 --> 00:06:19,600 UNCLE CURTIS, CAN YOU JUST 220 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,267 GIVE US ONE MINUTE, OK? 221 00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:22,933 YOU GOT ONE MINUTE. 222 00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:26,067 START NOW. 223 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:29,867 55 SECONDS! 224 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,167 I NEED YOUR HELP. 225 00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:32,867 WELL, UH, AHEM. 226 00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:33,633 [DEEP VOICE] 227 00:06:33,633 --> 00:06:34,333 YOU KNOW I'D HELP YOU 228 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:37,567 WITH ANYTHING, BABY. 229 00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:38,300 MY ABUELA HAS TO TAKE 230 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,067 THE AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP TEST 231 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,533 TOMORROW, AND IF SHE DOESN'T 232 00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,500 PASS THE TEST, THEN SHE'LL LOSE 233 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:44,867 HER VISA. 234 00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:46,800 I'D HELP HER MYSELF, BUT SHE 235 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,700 THINKS I'M TRYING TO SABOTAGE 236 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,433 HER. 237 00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:50,133 YOU KNOW WHAT? 238 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:53,100 JUST SAY NO MORE. SAY NO MORE. 239 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:53,833 WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE 240 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:56,633 THAT? 241 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,800 WHA--LIKE WHAT? I MEAN, THIS 242 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,067 IS MY NORMAL VOICE. 243 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:04,267 I JUST--I GO IN AND OUT. 244 00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,533 CAN I TALK TO YOU WITH YOUR 245 00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:06,933 REGULAR VOICE? 246 00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:07,967 [REGULAR VOICE] 247 00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,733 UH, OK, OK. 248 00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,167 I HAVE SOME SAMPLE QUESTIONS. 249 00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:16,067 OH, OK. UH, LET ME SEE THOSE. 250 00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,100 HMM. YOU KNOW, I GOT THESE. 251 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,700 YUP. I GOT IT. 252 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,967 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 253 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,167 I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET THIS. 254 00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:22,833 THANKS. 255 00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,600 MWAH! 256 00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:31,867 ANCHOVIES, ANCHOVIES! 257 00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:34,400 THIS WOULD GO BETTER WITH BEER. 258 00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:43,867 WILL YOU GET THEM OUT? 259 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:45,200 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM, OK? 260 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,100 I'M GONNA TAKE THEM OUT ON THE 261 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,067 BACK PATIO. 262 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,733 WHAT YOU WAITING ON? 263 00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:50,667 I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM. 264 00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:51,367 I DON'T WANT TO SMELL THEM. 265 00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,633 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM. 266 00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:53,533 Y'ALL GO AHEAD. AND IF SOMETHING 267 00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:54,267 HAPPENS TO YOU AND YOU START 268 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,633 BLEEDING, CALL 911 FROM 269 00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:57,333 THE GAS STATION. 270 00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:58,733 UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT IF WE GOT 271 00:07:58,733 --> 00:08:00,567 TO USE THE BATHROOM? 272 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:04,800 HEY, MAN, WELCOME TO 273 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,700 IN THE CUT. 274 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:06,433 THANK YOU. 275 00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:07,200 LOOK, PICK ANY CHAIR YOU WANT 276 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:07,767 TO, MAN. 277 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:08,567 I'M GONNA GO WITH THIS ONE. 278 00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:09,267 IT'S CLOSER TO THE MIRROR. 279 00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:10,067 EVERYONE WILL S-- 280 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:10,633 NO, YOU AIN'T. 281 00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:11,233 NOT THIS CHAIR. 282 00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:11,867 SEE ME... 283 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:12,600 I'M GONNA GO WITH THIS ONE. 284 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,300 IT'S CLOSER TO THE DOOR. 285 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,300 I'LL GET MORE CUSTOMERS THAT 286 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,767 WAY. 287 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,067 KIKI, YOU CANNOT BE SELFISH. 288 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:19,267 YOU CAN CUT ANYWHERE, GIRL. 289 00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,067 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN HAVE 290 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,600 THE SEAT NEXT TO ME. 291 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,600 DID I MENTION THAT I WAS SINGLE 292 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,967 AND DRAMA FREE? 293 00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:27,800 ONE OUT OF TWO AIN'T BAD. 294 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,067 BE CAREFUL, DANA. 295 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:29,900 HE'LL BE DOING YOUR CUSTOMERS' 296 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,500 NAILS NEXT WEEK. 297 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,333 DON'T BE DISGRUNTLED BECAUSE 298 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,600 I'M A SUPERIOR BARBER THAN 299 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,400 YOURSELF. 300 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,200 DO I SUPPOSED TO BE OFFENDED? 301 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,567 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO 302 00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:42,500 TRANSLATE THAT FOR HER. 303 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,500 HA HA. DON'T HATE 'CAUSE I 304 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,833 GOT MAD SKILLS. 305 00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:46,833 WHAT? 306 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:47,633 AIN'T NOBODY SCARED OF YOU 307 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:51,167 OVER HERE. YOU GOT ME CONFUSED. 308 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:51,900 WE'RE SCARED. 309 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,733 YEAH. 310 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,867 GOOD, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE 311 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,067 YOU HAD ME CONFUSED. 312 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,867 AIN'T THAT SOMETHING? 313 00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:01,067 SO, HEY, ZACH, YOU WOULDN'T 314 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,300 HAPPEN TO HAVE, LIKE, A SPECIAL 315 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,600 LADY IN YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU? 316 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,067 HEH. YEAH. 317 00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:05,767 OH. 318 00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:06,700 IT'S MY MOM. 319 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,800 OH. AW. HA HA. 320 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,067 BUT, HEY, A GUY LIKE ME, I 321 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,600 CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MAMAS. 322 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,233 I GOT LITTLE MAMAS, BIG MAMAS, 323 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,700 MAMACITAS, MAMA MIAS. 324 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,433 AND YOU CAN BE MY MAMA-SAN. 325 00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,767 OK. HA HA! 326 00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,267 DANA, LET ME HOLLER AT YOU 327 00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,567 FOR A MINUTE. COME HERE. 328 00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,167 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 329 00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:26,067 WHAT YOU NEED? 330 00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,967 SO I CAN GO BACK OVER... 331 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:28,833 YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM 332 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:29,933 ZACH. 333 00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:31,600 OH, KIKI, WHY YOU HATING? 334 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,400 UH, NO. AIN'T NOBODY HATING. 335 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,667 I'M JUST SAYING. 336 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:34,833 IF I WAS YOU, I WOULDN'T 337 00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,633 PARTY IN THE SUBURBS. 338 00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:37,600 HUH? 339 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,600 I LIVE IN BANKHEAD. 340 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,067 WHAT? 341 00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:43,733 I HAPPEN TO LIKE WHEAT BREAD. 342 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,167 SHE'S HAD AN ENGLISH MUFFIN. 343 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,967 HUMPH. OK, WHEN I WAKE UP 344 00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:51,400 IN THE MORNING, I LIKE MY COFFEE 345 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,567 BLACK. 346 00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,700 SHE'S HAD THE 'NILLA MOCHA. 347 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:54,300 DON'T LET HER TELL YOU 348 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,567 DIFFERENT. 349 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:56,300 YOU LIKE THE VANILLA MOCHA? 350 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,067 YEAH. LIKE, I PUT A LITTLE 351 00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:57,933 CINNAMON IN IT. 352 00:09:57,933 --> 00:09:58,633 YOU GOT TO TRY IT WITH 353 00:09:58,633 --> 00:09:59,333 THE TOFFEE SYRUP. 354 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,467 STAY AWAY FROM ZACH. 355 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,667 OH, OK, GIRL. I'LL STAY 356 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,267 AWAY FROM HIM. 357 00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:02,933 THANK YOU. 358 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,767 SO, UM, ZACH... 359 00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:06,067 ARE YOU READY? 360 00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,167 SHOOT. 361 00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,500 OK, UH, WHAT ARE THE 3 362 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,800 BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT? 363 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,900 THE "NIÑA," THE "PINTA," AND 364 00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,067 THE "SANTA MARIA." 365 00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:16,900 UH, THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE 366 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,300 BIT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. 367 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,900 UH, NO. IT'S JUDICIAL, 368 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,900 LEGISLATIVE, AND EXECUTIVE. 369 00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,500 WELL, THEN ASK ME ANOTHER 370 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,333 ONE. 371 00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,267 WHY DID THE PILGRIMS CROSS 372 00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:29,433 THE ATLANTIC OCEAN? 373 00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,967 OH, WELL, TO GET TO THE OTHER 374 00:10:30,967 --> 00:10:34,633 SIDE. 375 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,700 NO. 376 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:36,600 NO? 377 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,900 I MEAN, WHY DID THEY COME TO 378 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,033 AMERICA? 379 00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,033 OH! THAT'S EASY. 380 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:41,933 FOR THANKSGIVING. 381 00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,967 MALIK, ARE YOU FEELING OK? 382 00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,400 I'M A LITTLE NAUSEOUS. 383 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,533 OH, LET ME SEE. LET ME. 384 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,833 YOU HAVE A LITTLE FER, D YOU 385 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:58,567 HAVE A VERY FAST PULSE. 386 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:02,467 HONEY, YOU NEED A COLD BEER. 387 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,633 HOLD HIM. 388 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,900 WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 389 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,533 DRINK IT ALL. 390 00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,067 WHAT'S GOING ON? 391 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,600 THE LITTLE BOY IS SICK. 392 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,533 HE NEED A COLD BEER. 393 00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,300 YOU DON'T NEED A BEER. 394 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,733 GIMME THAT. LOOK, IF YOU'RE 395 00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:27,700 SICK, GO IN THE BACK. 396 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,533 IN THE MEDICINE CABINET, THERE'S 397 00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:29,467 ALL KIND OF MEDICINE IN THERE. 398 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:30,533 GO THROW SOME THINGS IN YOUR 399 00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:32,133 THROAT. 400 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,067 THERE'S SOME STUFF THAT AIN'T 401 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:33,833 GOT LABELS ON IT. 402 00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,867 IT'S STILL GOOD. YOU DRINK IT. 403 00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,067 THE BOTH OF YOU GO BACK THERE. 404 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,367 AND, LOOK, DON'T MAKE NO NOISE. 405 00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:39,167 DON'T DO NOTHING. 406 00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:43,900 JUST TAKE THE MEDICINE. 407 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,467 DID I JUST SEND MALIK BACK THERE 408 00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:46,467 WITH YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER? 409 00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:47,400 YES, YOU DID. 410 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:52,367 ALEX, ALEX! GET OUT HERE. 411 00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:54,333 YOU LITTLE FAST THING. 412 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:59,300 [ALEX SCOFFS] 413 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,533 NOW, LOOK, I'M GONNA TELL YOU 414 00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:02,700 THIS ONE MORE TIME. 415 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,400 THIS MY MAN ZONE. 416 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,500 THIS MY MAN--I AIN'T SUPPOSED TO 417 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,433 HAVE AN OLD WOMAN HERE. 418 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,267 THERE AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE NO 419 00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,100 LITTLE GIRL HERE. 420 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,467 THIS MY MAN ZONE. 421 00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,567 [BURPS] 422 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:12,767 IT DON'T GET NO MANLIER THAN 423 00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,567 THAT. 424 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:20,467 OH, I LIKE THIS. 425 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:21,767 MR. PAYNE? 426 00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:23,767 WHAT? 427 00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,933 MALIK IS SICK, AND YOU'VE GOT 428 00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,300 TO HELP US. 429 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,067 IF MY ABUELA DOESN'T PASS THE 430 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,400 CITIZENSHIP TEST TOMORROW, SHE'S 431 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,200 GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY. 432 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:30,933 YOU GOT TO GIVE ME A BETTER 433 00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:33,100 REASON THAN THAT, SWEETHEART. 434 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,367 YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS. 435 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:35,233 IF YOU DON'T HELP HER, SHE'S 436 00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:36,500 NOT GONNA LEAVE. 437 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,333 BAM! THAT'S IT. YOU DID IT. 438 00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,367 GIVE ME THE CARDS. 439 00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:43,867 THANK YOU. 440 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:46,067 WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT? 441 00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,900 GEORGIE. 442 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,800 GEORGE WHO? 443 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,133 CLOONEY. 444 00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,100 YOU GOT HALF OF IT RIGHT. 445 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,567 THAT'S HALF CREDIT. 446 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,733 NAME 4 SUPREME COURT JUSTICES. 447 00:12:58,733 --> 00:13:00,767 RONNIE, BOBBY, RICKY, AND 448 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:05,233 MIKE. "COOL IT NOW." 449 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,067 CAN YOU NAME THE 13 ORIGINAL 450 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,467 COLONIES? 451 00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:12,867 HELL, NO. 452 00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,067 OK. WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING 453 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:20,133 DIFFERENT. OK. TELL ME THIS. 454 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,367 HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN ANYBODY IN 455 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,800 CONNECTICUT? 456 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,467 OH, SURE. LARRY IN 457 00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:27,133 CONNECTICUT. 458 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:29,233 HE DRANK TOO MUCH. 459 00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:32,400 OK. SO YOU WERE COMPATIBLE. 460 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,067 OK. LARRY IN "CONNECTICO." 461 00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:37,067 OK. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN ANYBODY 462 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,333 IN NEW YORK? 463 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,700 THERE WAS TITO. OH, HE WAS 464 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,133 SUCH A GOOD DANCER. 465 00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,067 HE DID THE MAMBO. 466 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,067 THEN HE'D DO 467 00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:45,900 CHINKY-CHINKY THING. 468 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,667 OK, PUT THE BEER DOWN. 469 00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:51,200 OK. LARRY IN CONNECTICUT AND 470 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,067 TITO IN NEW YORK. 471 00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,667 OH, I GET IT. 472 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,833 YOU'RE GOING TO NAME THE REST OF 473 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:56,833 THE COLONIES. 474 00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:58,100 AND I WILL NAME THE REST OF MY 475 00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,800 LOVERS. 476 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,067 THERE YOU GO. BUT THERE'S 477 00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:04,933 ONLY 13 COLONIES. 478 00:14:04,933 --> 00:14:07,233 VOILA. ANOTHER MASTERPIECE. 479 00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,067 [APPLAUSE] 480 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:08,667 YES. 481 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:09,633 I'M IMPRESSED! 482 00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:12,267 YES, YES, YES. THANK YOU. 483 00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,533 THANKS A LOT, GUYS. 484 00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:14,700 I APPRECIATE YOU. 485 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,733 THANKS A LOT. GOOD TO BE HERE. 486 00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:18,367 YES! HA HA! I'M CLIPPING 487 00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,800 THESE HAIRCUTS TODAY. 488 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,567 WHO'S NEXT? 489 00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:25,833 YOU KNOW, I WASN'T EVEN 490 00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:26,733 DONE. 491 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,400 YOU ARE NOW. 492 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,567 SO ANYBODY THAT'S WAITING FOR 493 00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:31,533 ZACH, YOU CAN COME 494 00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:34,067 AND GET A TAP. 495 00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,167 UH-UH. HOLD UP, FOOL. I'M 496 00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,233 TALKING ABOUT YOUR NAILS. 497 00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:39,867 SO WHAT KIND OF CUT DO YOU 498 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:42,867 WANT? 499 00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,533 NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT FROM KIKI'S 500 00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:46,067 BASIC CHART. LET ME SHOW YOU 501 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,833 SOMETHING. THAT IS SO 502 00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:50,667 OLD-SCHOOL. LOOK AT THAT. 503 00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,067 THAT'S THE "EN-ZACH-LOPEDIA 504 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,433 HAIRITANNICA." 505 00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:57,967 GO AHEAD AND PICK SOMETHING OUT. 506 00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,167 OOH, OOH! THE PREDATOR? 507 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,067 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE READY FOR 508 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,200 THAT. 509 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,300 YO, HE ALREADY GOT THE 510 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,333 PREDATOR STARTER KIT. 511 00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,467 OK, HOW ABOUT WE GO WITH 512 00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:07,333 THE BARNEY RUBBLE? 513 00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,333 YOU'LL BE GETTING ALL 514 00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,600 THE BETTIES WITH THAT ONE. 515 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,733 MIGHT EVEN GET A LITTLE WILMA 516 00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:11,300 ON THE SIDE. 517 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,167 HA! OOH. 518 00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:14,167 ALL RIGHT. I CAN TAKE 519 00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:18,133 WHOEVER'S NEXT. 520 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,267 I SAID, I COULD TAKE 521 00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:22,567 WHOEVER IS NEXT. 522 00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,267 OH, DON'T NONE OF YOU HEAR ME? 523 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:25,367 HEY, YO, SHORTY DOO-WOP, 524 00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,100 I'M DOING YOU NEXT. 525 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:26,900 COME ON. LIKE IT OR NOT, 526 00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:27,967 YOU'RE GETTING CUT ONE WAY OR 527 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,067 ANOTHER TODAY. THAT'S WHAT I'M 528 00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:29,767 SAYING. 529 00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:30,933 GETTING CUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. 530 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:31,700 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 531 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,467 SIT RIGHT THERE, AND LET ME LINE 532 00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,500 YOU UP. BACK THE HEAD UP. 533 00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,267 BACK THE HEAD UP. 534 00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:36,900 KIKI. 535 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:37,533 WHAT? 536 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:42,400 LEAVE REVEREND CANNON ALONE. 537 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,533 AMEN. PRAISE HIM. 538 00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:44,533 YOU KNOW WHAT? 539 00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:45,300 I THINK YOU NEED THE REST OF THE 540 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,167 DAY OFF. 541 00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:47,100 I'M JUST SAYING-- 542 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:47,967 NO, NO. PRAISE THE LORD. 543 00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:48,633 COME ON, Y'ALL. 544 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:49,300 COME ON. 545 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:49,900 COME ON. 546 00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:50,567 NOW, NOW. 547 00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:51,300 YOU NEED ME TO LINE YOU UP? 548 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:51,900 COME ON. LET'S GO. 549 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:52,800 I'LL GET YOU A FADE. 550 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,200 I CAN DO FLAT TOPS. 551 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,900 COME ON. I CAN DO CORN ROWS. 552 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:56,800 SOMEBODY? ANYBODY? 553 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,733 COME ON, KIKI. 554 00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:58,733 COME ON, KIKI. COME WITH ME, 555 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,300 KIKI. 556 00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,633 TITO IN NEW YORK, VICTOR IN 557 00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:03,700 VIRGINIA, AND DIEGO IN 558 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,100 NORTH AND SOUTH CAROLINA. 559 00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,367 HE MOVED A LOT. 560 00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:08,100 AND THERE WAS MIGUEL IN MARYLAND 561 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,200 AND DELFINO IN DELAWARE, 562 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,233 AND RONNIE IN RHODE ISLAND, 563 00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:17,133 AND THEN MARIA IN PENNSYLVANIA. 564 00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:18,600 MARIA? 565 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,567 WELL, I DID A LITTLE TIME. 566 00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:24,200 BUT SHH. 567 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,767 YOU GOT IT! 568 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:26,933 YOU LITTLE HUSSY, YOU. 569 00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:28,167 [LAUGHTER] 570 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,367 OH, LET ME TELL YOU GUYS 571 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,733 ABOUT MY DATE LAST NIGHT. 572 00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:35,667 [CHUCKLES] 573 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,100 OK, SO FIRST, HE TOOK ME TO 574 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,367 AN INDIAN RESTAURANT. RIGHT? 575 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,433 OK, HOLD ON. 576 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,267 AND THEN AFTERWARDS, WE WENT AND 577 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:48,133 WE WATCHED THE SUNSET. 578 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,467 IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. 579 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,333 AND THEN AFTERWARDS, HE 580 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:53,833 SERENADED AT ME. 581 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,433 HE SOUND WHITE. 582 00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:58,900 MM-HMM. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 583 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,233 ME AND VANITA, WE HAD THE 584 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:01,533 INCENSE BURNING. 585 00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,200 AW. 586 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,067 WE HAD CANDLES LIT ALL 587 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:05,067 AROUND. AND I POURED ABOUT 588 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,133 90 POUNDS OF HOG HEAD CHEESE 589 00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:06,767 OVER IN THE TUB. 590 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:07,533 EW. 591 00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,933 DON'T, FLOYD. FLOYD, FLOYD! 592 00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:10,567 COME ON. 593 00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:11,467 THAT STUFF IS HARD TO CLEAN 594 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,067 OFF, THOUGH. 595 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,100 HEY, ZACH. 596 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,067 HEY, DANA. 597 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,733 WHAT'S UP, SECOND PLACE? 598 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:23,067 HOLD UP. DANA? 599 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:23,800 HUH? 600 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,400 WHAT'S UP? YOU, UH, WENT OUT 601 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,233 WITH OLD WHACK ZACH OVER HERE? 602 00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:28,100 YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS 603 00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,533 WHACK WHEN WE WENT OUT. 604 00:17:29,533 --> 00:17:30,167 WHAT?! 605 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,167 WHAT? 606 00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,433 NOW, HOLD UP. HOW YOU GONNA 607 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:33,967 TELL ME THAT I CAN'T GO OUT 608 00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,667 WITH HIM WHEN YOU ALREADY DID? 609 00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,133 I DID NOT GO OUT WITH HIM. 610 00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,900 IT WAS NOT NO DATE. 611 00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,767 HEAR YE, HEAR YE, HEAR YE. 612 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:45,433 COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. 613 00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:49,567 OK, DID HE PICK YOU UP? 614 00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,600 YEAH. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE MY 615 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,433 CAR WAS-- 616 00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:52,800 YUP. 617 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,467 DID HE TAKE YOU OUT TO 618 00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:56,267 DINNER? 619 00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:56,967 YEAH. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE 620 00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:57,600 MY CHECKING-- 621 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,367 YUP. 622 00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,733 DID HE TRY TO KISS YOU? 623 00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:02,800 I TRIED. 624 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,700 I CUT HIM. 625 00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:06,633 YEAH. I GOT A LITTLE SCAR 626 00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:09,133 RIGHT HERE. SHE CUTS DEEP. 627 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,067 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DATE TO 628 00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,200 ME. 629 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,233 YO. IT WASN'T NO DATE. 630 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,467 I GOT A THING FOR ALBINOS. 631 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:16,633 I THOUGHT HE WAS ONE. 632 00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:17,600 BOTH OF YOU ALL ARE SHADY FOR 633 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,067 NOT TELLING ME. 634 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,867 I'M GOING ON BREAK. 635 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,067 OH, COME ON, NOW, DANA. 636 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,300 DON'T DO THAT. OH, PLEASE. 637 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,633 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OUT, TOO. 638 00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:35,200 NOW YOU FEEL BETTER? 639 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,333 OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW, I THINK 640 00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,600 I'D BETTER GET SICK MORE OFTEN. 641 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,733 [CURTIS LAUGHING] 642 00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:41,167 I DID IT! I DID IT! 643 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,100 I DID IT! OH, OH, AY! 644 00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,933 [LOUD WHISTLE] 645 00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:48,433 CONGRATULATIONS, ABUELA. 646 00:18:48,433 --> 00:18:49,467 HA HA. THANK YOU. 647 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,300 THANK YOU. AND THANKS TO YOU, 648 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,400 CURTIS PAYNE. 649 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,200 HA HA. OH, IT WAS NOTHING. 650 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,433 NO? 651 00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,133 I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU LOOK 652 00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,300 GOOD WITH THOSE FLAGS. 653 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,567 OH, REALLY? 654 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:01,900 YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING IS VERY, 655 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,933 VERY NICE, BUT IT WOULD ALL GO 656 00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,367 BETTER WITH BEER. 657 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,533 THAT'S AMERICAN... 39868

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.