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[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
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OK, BABY, OK, BABY, I'LL SEE
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[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
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OK, BABY, OK, BABY, I'LL SEE
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YOU.YOU.
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[NOISY COUGHING]OISY COUGHING]
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OK. I'LL SEE YOU ALL.
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OK. I'LL SEE YOU
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I'LL SEE YOU. I WISH I COULD GO
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WITH YOU. YEAH. OK.EE YOU. I WIU
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WITH YOU. YEAH. OK.
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HEY, C.J., TELL JAZMINE I'D LOVE
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TO SEE HER. I MISS HER.
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TO SEE HER. I MISS HER.
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I LOVE HER.
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I LOVE HER.
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OK. NO, NO. Y'ALL GO.
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OK. NO, NO. Y'ALL GO.
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NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
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NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
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IF I GET SICK, I'LL DRIVE--
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IF
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[COUGHS]
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I'LL DRIVE MYSELF TO THE
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HOSPITAL.
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OK. LOVE YOU.
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[HORN HONKS]
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BEAT IT.
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SUCKERS. HA HA!
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LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
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UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU
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DOING?
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WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M
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DOING?
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IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE
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STRIPPING.
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I'M GETTING COMFORTABLE.
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DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL
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AUNTIE ELLA THAT YOU COULDN'T GO
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VISIT JAZMINE BECAUSE YOU WERE
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SICK?
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NEPHEW OF MINE, NOW, YOU CAN
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STAND THERE AND TRIFLE IN
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DETAILS IF YOU WANT TO, OR YOU
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CAN JOIN YOUR UNCLE FOR
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A BLISSFUL WEEKEND OF TV
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WATCHING AND NAPPING AND
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SNACKING. YOU KNOW ALL THAT
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GOOD, FUN RELAXING MAN STUFF.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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OOH! IT'S BREAKFAST.
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HELLO. HA HA!
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TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE GOT.
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19.98? WHAT DID I GET?
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WHAT YOU GOT? FOR TWO PIECES
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OF THIS? HERE'S A 20.
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THANK YOU.
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PIZZA AT LAST. PIZZA AT LAST.
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THANK GOD ALMIGHTY. PIZZA AT
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LAST. HEY, HEY.
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WHA--
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UNCLE CURTIS, I THOUGHT WE WERE
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SUPPOSED TO BE DOING, YOU KNOW,
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THE ALL-AROUND MAN RELAXING
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STUFF.
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ME MAN, YOU BOY. UG!
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[TELEPHONE RINGS]
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MM-MM! DON'T GET IT.
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DON'T GET THAT. DON'T GET THAT.
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DON'T--
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HELLO.
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[DEEP VOICE]
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HEY. HEY, BABE.
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OH, YEAH. OH, YOU WANT TO COME
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OVER?
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WHY YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE?
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[REGULAR VOICE]
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UNCLE CURTIS, I'M ON THE
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PHONE.
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[DEEP VOICE]
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YOU COME ON OVER NOW THEN, BABE.
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AIN'T NOBODY COMING OVER
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HERE.
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YOU CAN COME ON OVER NOW,
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THEN, BABY.
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ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA BE HERE.
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OK.
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[REGULAR VOICE]
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OK, OK. SHE'S COMING OVER.
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ALEXANDRA'S COMING OVER.
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ALEX IS COMING OVER.
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I GOT TO GO GET DRESSED.
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I GOT TO GO GET DRESSED! AAH!
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HEY, LOOK, AIN'T NOBODY
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COMING OVER.
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AIN'T NOBODY COMING OVER HERE.
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THIS IS A MAN'S WEEKEND.
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THIS IS MY MAN ZONE.
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NOBODY'S ALLOWED IN THE MAN'S--
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WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, SUPERMAN?
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YOU AIN'T DRESSED.
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IT'S LIKE--UH-UH. YOU GOT TO GET
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DRESSED. LOOK, ALEX IS COMING
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OVER, AND YOU NEED TO GET
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DRESSED. YOU NEED TO PUT THESE
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ON. PUT SHOES ON.
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PUT SHOES ON. COME ON. COME ON.
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COE ON. COME ON. LOOK, LOOK,
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PUT THIS ON. PUT THIS ON.
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COME ON. WE NEED TO MOVE IT.
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WE NEED TO MOVE IT.
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WE NEED TO MOVE IT.
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WE NEED TO MOVE IT.
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CALM DOWN, MALIK. CALM DOWN.
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COME ON. ALEX IS COMING
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OVER. ALEX IS COMING OVER.
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[MALIK SCREAMS]
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CALM DOWN!
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I TOLD YOU. NOW, LOOK, THIS IS
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MY MAN WEEKEND.
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YOU'RE NOT GONNA MESS UP
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MY PEACEFUL WEEKEND.
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YOU HEARD ME?
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YOU NOT GONNA MESS IT UP, MALIK.
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ALEX IS A-COMIN' OVER.
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SHE HAS TO ASK ME ONE THING, OK?
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AND THEN SHE'S GOING RIGHT BACK
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HOME, OK?
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ARE YOU SURE?
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I'M POSITIVE.
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[CURTIS SCREAMS]
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YOU GOT ANCHOVIES ON IT?
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BLECCH!
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[HORN HONKS, SIREN]
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SEE, AS A BUSINESS OWNER,
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YOU GOT TO DIVERSIFY YOUR
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PORTFOLIO.
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FLOYD, WHAT PORTFOLIO?
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ALL YOU OWN IS THIS ITTY-BITTY
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BARBER SHOP.
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SEE? SMALL THOUGHTS FROM
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SMALL MINDS.
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I GOT A BUSINESS WITHIN
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A BUSINESS.
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EVERYTHING THAT COMES THROUGH
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THAT DOOR, I GET A CUT OF IT.
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CDs, SOCKS, EVEN STREET MEAT.
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YES. SO EVERYTHING THAT COMES
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THROUGH THAT DOOR, I GET NOT 5,
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NOT 10, BUT 20% OFF THE TOP.
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THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL
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DIVERSIFICATION.
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THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL
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IGNORANTIFICATION.
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I AM THE POWER BROKER OF
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ATLANTA, MR. WALL STREET.
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MR. BROKE AS HELL.
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MR. BROKE AS HELL IS ABOUT TO
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BE DADDY BIG BUCKS AROUND HERE
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REAL SOON. HEY, I HIRED
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A NEW BARBER.
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WHAT?
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YEAH. YEAH. AS A MATTER OF
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FACT, HE USED TO DO ALL THE
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RAPPERS' HEADS.
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AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE WAS
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TI's PERSONAL BARBER.
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AIN'T NO RAPPER NAMED TY.
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SPELL TI, FLOYD.
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T.I. IT'S ABOUT TO BE
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PACKED UP IN HERE LIKE
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A PREGNANT POODLE WITH A PECK OF
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PUPPIES. I'M TALKING ABOUT
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BUSINESS IS GONNA BE BOOMING.
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MORE BODIES, MORE BUSINESS.
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CAN YOU SAY CHA-CHING?
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CAN YOU SAY PE-PEPPERMINT?
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SO WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD UP.
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YOU WENT AND HIRED SOMEBODY
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WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING US?
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WHAT ABOUT ALL THE PEOPLE WE
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RECOMMENDED?
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THE GUY YOU RECOMMENDED?
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ANYBODY THAT HAS A BAD HAIRCUT
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LIKE THAT CANNOT BE A GOOD
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BARBER. THE ONE YOU RECOMMENDED
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COULDN'T EVEN CUT A SANDWICH.
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WELL, PAUL'S JUST ECCENTRIC.
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ECCENTRIC? HELL.
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HE LOOK HOMELESS, ALL RIGHT?
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AS A MATTER OF FACT, HIS CORN
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ROWS LOOKED LIKE CORN DOGS.
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AND, KIKI, THE ONE THAT YOU
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RECOMMENDED, HE BROUGHT A GUN
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TO HIS INTERVIEW.
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OH!
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OH, THAT'S 'CAUSE HE A COP.
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OK, HE WAS ON "COPS."
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WE AIN'T EXACTLY IN BUCKHEAD.
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HEY. OOH. HERE COME MY CASH
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COW NOW.
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OOH!
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WHAT'S HAPPENING?
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HEY, KIKI, COME HERE.
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DANA, KIKI, THIS IS ZACH,
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YOUR NEW CO-WORKER.
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ZACH?
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MALIK, CAN I TALK TO YOU IN
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THE KITCHEN?
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UH, MALIK, CAN YOU PLEASE
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TAKE HER OVER TO HER HOUSE AND
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TALK, PLEASE?
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HE CAN'T. CONSUELA'S GOT
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EVERYBODY MAD OVER THERE.
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IT'S REALLY UGLY OVER THERE
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RIGHT NOW.
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IT'S ALWAYS UGLY OVER THERE
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RIGHT NOW.
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UNCLE CURTIS, CAN YOU JUST
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GIVE US ONE MINUTE, OK?
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YOU GOT ONE MINUTE.
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START NOW.
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55 SECONDS!
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I NEED YOUR HELP.
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WELL, UH, AHEM.
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[DEEP VOICE]
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YOU KNOW I'D HELP YOU
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WITH ANYTHING, BABY.
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MY ABUELA HAS TO TAKE
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THE AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP TEST
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TOMORROW, AND IF SHE DOESN'T
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PASS THE TEST, THEN SHE'LL LOSE
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HER VISA.
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I'D HELP HER MYSELF, BUT SHE
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THINKS I'M TRYING TO SABOTAGE
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HER.
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YOU KNOW WHAT?
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JUST SAY NO MORE. SAY NO MORE.
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WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE
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THAT?
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WHA--LIKE WHAT? I MEAN, THIS
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IS MY NORMAL VOICE.
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I JUST--I GO IN AND OUT.
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CAN I TALK TO YOU WITH YOUR
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REGULAR VOICE?
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[REGULAR VOICE]
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UH, OK, OK.
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I HAVE SOME SAMPLE QUESTIONS.
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OH, OK. UH, LET ME SEE THOSE.
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HMM. YOU KNOW, I GOT THESE.
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YUP. I GOT IT.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH.
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I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET THIS.
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THANKS.
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MWAH!
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ANCHOVIES, ANCHOVIES!
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THIS WOULD GO BETTER WITH BEER.
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WILL YOU GET THEM OUT?
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DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM, OK?
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I'M GONNA TAKE THEM OUT ON THE
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BACK PATIO.
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WHAT YOU WAITING ON?
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I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM.
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I DON'T WANT TO SMELL THEM.
265
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,633
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEM.
266
00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:53,533
Y'ALL GO AHEAD. AND IF SOMETHING
267
00:07:53,533 --> 00:07:54,267
HAPPENS TO YOU AND YOU START
268
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:55,633
BLEEDING, CALL 911 FROM
269
00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:57,333
THE GAS STATION.
270
00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:58,733
UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT IF WE GOT
271
00:07:58,733 --> 00:08:00,567
TO USE THE BATHROOM?
272
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:04,800
HEY, MAN, WELCOME TO
273
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,700
IN THE CUT.
274
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:06,433
THANK YOU.
275
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:07,200
LOOK, PICK ANY CHAIR YOU WANT
276
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:07,767
TO, MAN.
277
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:08,567
I'M GONNA GO WITH THIS ONE.
278
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:09,267
IT'S CLOSER TO THE MIRROR.
279
00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:10,067
EVERYONE WILL S--
280
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:10,633
NO, YOU AIN'T.
281
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:11,233
NOT THIS CHAIR.
282
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:11,867
SEE ME...
283
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:12,600
I'M GONNA GO WITH THIS ONE.
284
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,300
IT'S CLOSER TO THE DOOR.
285
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,300
I'LL GET MORE CUSTOMERS THAT
286
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,767
WAY.
287
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,067
KIKI, YOU CANNOT BE SELFISH.
288
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:19,267
YOU CAN CUT ANYWHERE, GIRL.
289
00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,067
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN HAVE
290
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,600
THE SEAT NEXT TO ME.
291
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,600
DID I MENTION THAT I WAS SINGLE
292
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,967
AND DRAMA FREE?
293
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:27,800
ONE OUT OF TWO AIN'T BAD.
294
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,067
BE CAREFUL, DANA.
295
00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:29,900
HE'LL BE DOING YOUR CUSTOMERS'
296
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,500
NAILS NEXT WEEK.
297
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,333
DON'T BE DISGRUNTLED BECAUSE
298
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,600
I'M A SUPERIOR BARBER THAN
299
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,400
YOURSELF.
300
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,200
DO I SUPPOSED TO BE OFFENDED?
301
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,567
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
302
00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:42,500
TRANSLATE THAT FOR HER.
303
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:43,500
HA HA. DON'T HATE 'CAUSE I
304
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,833
GOT MAD SKILLS.
305
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:46,833
WHAT?
306
00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:47,633
AIN'T NOBODY SCARED OF YOU
307
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:51,167
OVER HERE. YOU GOT ME CONFUSED.
308
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:51,900
WE'RE SCARED.
309
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,733
YEAH.
310
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:54,867
GOOD, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE
311
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,067
YOU HAD ME CONFUSED.
312
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,867
AIN'T THAT SOMETHING?
313
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:01,067
SO, HEY, ZACH, YOU WOULDN'T
314
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,300
HAPPEN TO HAVE, LIKE, A SPECIAL
315
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,600
LADY IN YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU?
316
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,067
HEH. YEAH.
317
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:05,767
OH.
318
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:06,700
IT'S MY MOM.
319
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,800
OH. AW. HA HA.
320
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,067
BUT, HEY, A GUY LIKE ME, I
321
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,600
CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH MAMAS.
322
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,233
I GOT LITTLE MAMAS, BIG MAMAS,
323
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,700
MAMACITAS, MAMA MIAS.
324
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,433
AND YOU CAN BE MY MAMA-SAN.
325
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,767
OK. HA HA!
326
00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,267
DANA, LET ME HOLLER AT YOU
327
00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,567
FOR A MINUTE. COME HERE.
328
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,167
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
329
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:26,067
WHAT YOU NEED?
330
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,967
SO I CAN GO BACK OVER...
331
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:28,833
YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM
332
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:29,933
ZACH.
333
00:09:29,933 --> 00:09:31,600
OH, KIKI, WHY YOU HATING?
334
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,400
UH, NO. AIN'T NOBODY HATING.
335
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,667
I'M JUST SAYING.
336
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:34,833
IF I WAS YOU, I WOULDN'T
337
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,633
PARTY IN THE SUBURBS.
338
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:37,600
HUH?
339
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,600
I LIVE IN BANKHEAD.
340
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,067
WHAT?
341
00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:43,733
I HAPPEN TO LIKE WHEAT BREAD.
342
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,167
SHE'S HAD AN ENGLISH MUFFIN.
343
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,967
HUMPH. OK, WHEN I WAKE UP
344
00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:51,400
IN THE MORNING, I LIKE MY COFFEE
345
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,567
BLACK.
346
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,700
SHE'S HAD THE 'NILLA MOCHA.
347
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:54,300
DON'T LET HER TELL YOU
348
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,567
DIFFERENT.
349
00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:56,300
YOU LIKE THE VANILLA MOCHA?
350
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,067
YEAH. LIKE, I PUT A LITTLE
351
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:57,933
CINNAMON IN IT.
352
00:09:57,933 --> 00:09:58,633
YOU GOT TO TRY IT WITH
353
00:09:58,633 --> 00:09:59,333
THE TOFFEE SYRUP.
354
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,467
STAY AWAY FROM ZACH.
355
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:01,667
OH, OK, GIRL. I'LL STAY
356
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,267
AWAY FROM HIM.
357
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:02,933
THANK YOU.
358
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,767
SO, UM, ZACH...
359
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:06,067
ARE YOU READY?
360
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:07,167
SHOOT.
361
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,500
OK, UH, WHAT ARE THE 3
362
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,800
BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT?
363
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,900
THE "NIÑA," THE "PINTA," AND
364
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:16,067
THE "SANTA MARIA."
365
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:16,900
UH, THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE
366
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,300
BIT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
367
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,900
UH, NO. IT'S JUDICIAL,
368
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,900
LEGISLATIVE, AND EXECUTIVE.
369
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,500
WELL, THEN ASK ME ANOTHER
370
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,333
ONE.
371
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,267
WHY DID THE PILGRIMS CROSS
372
00:10:28,267 --> 00:10:29,433
THE ATLANTIC OCEAN?
373
00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,967
OH, WELL, TO GET TO THE OTHER
374
00:10:30,967 --> 00:10:34,633
SIDE.
375
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,700
NO.
376
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:36,600
NO?
377
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,900
I MEAN, WHY DID THEY COME TO
378
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,033
AMERICA?
379
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,033
OH! THAT'S EASY.
380
00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:41,933
FOR THANKSGIVING.
381
00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,967
MALIK, ARE YOU FEELING OK?
382
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,400
I'M A LITTLE NAUSEOUS.
383
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,533
OH, LET ME SEE. LET ME.
384
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,833
YOU HAVE A LITTLE FER, D YOU
385
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:58,567
HAVE A VERY FAST PULSE.
386
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:02,467
HONEY, YOU NEED A COLD BEER.
387
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,633
HOLD HIM.
388
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,900
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
389
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,533
DRINK IT ALL.
390
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,067
WHAT'S GOING ON?
391
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,600
THE LITTLE BOY IS SICK.
392
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,533
HE NEED A COLD BEER.
393
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,300
YOU DON'T NEED A BEER.
394
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,733
GIMME THAT. LOOK, IF YOU'RE
395
00:11:26,733 --> 00:11:27,700
SICK, GO IN THE BACK.
396
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:28,533
IN THE MEDICINE CABINET, THERE'S
397
00:11:28,533 --> 00:11:29,467
ALL KIND OF MEDICINE IN THERE.
398
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:30,533
GO THROW SOME THINGS IN YOUR
399
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:32,133
THROAT.
400
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,067
THERE'S SOME STUFF THAT AIN'T
401
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:33,833
GOT LABELS ON IT.
402
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,867
IT'S STILL GOOD. YOU DRINK IT.
403
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,067
THE BOTH OF YOU GO BACK THERE.
404
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,367
AND, LOOK, DON'T MAKE NO NOISE.
405
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:39,167
DON'T DO NOTHING.
406
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:43,900
JUST TAKE THE MEDICINE.
407
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,467
DID I JUST SEND MALIK BACK THERE
408
00:11:45,467 --> 00:11:46,467
WITH YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER?
409
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:47,400
YES, YOU DID.
410
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:52,367
ALEX, ALEX! GET OUT HERE.
411
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:54,333
YOU LITTLE FAST THING.
412
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:59,300
[ALEX SCOFFS]
413
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,533
NOW, LOOK, I'M GONNA TELL YOU
414
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:02,700
THIS ONE MORE TIME.
415
00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,400
THIS MY MAN ZONE.
416
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,500
THIS MY MAN--I AIN'T SUPPOSED TO
417
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,433
HAVE AN OLD WOMAN HERE.
418
00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,267
THERE AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE NO
419
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,100
LITTLE GIRL HERE.
420
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,467
THIS MY MAN ZONE.
421
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,567
[BURPS]
422
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:12,767
IT DON'T GET NO MANLIER THAN
423
00:12:12,767 --> 00:12:15,567
THAT.
424
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:20,467
OH, I LIKE THIS.
425
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:21,767
MR. PAYNE?
426
00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:23,767
WHAT?
427
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,933
MALIK IS SICK, AND YOU'VE GOT
428
00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,300
TO HELP US.
429
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,067
IF MY ABUELA DOESN'T PASS THE
430
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,400
CITIZENSHIP TEST TOMORROW, SHE'S
431
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,200
GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.
432
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:30,933
YOU GOT TO GIVE ME A BETTER
433
00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:33,100
REASON THAN THAT, SWEETHEART.
434
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,367
YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
435
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:35,233
IF YOU DON'T HELP HER, SHE'S
436
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:36,500
NOT GONNA LEAVE.
437
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,333
BAM! THAT'S IT. YOU DID IT.
438
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,367
GIVE ME THE CARDS.
439
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:43,867
THANK YOU.
440
00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:46,067
WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT?
441
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,900
GEORGIE.
442
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,800
GEORGE WHO?
443
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,133
CLOONEY.
444
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,100
YOU GOT HALF OF IT RIGHT.
445
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:56,567
THAT'S HALF CREDIT.
446
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,733
NAME 4 SUPREME COURT JUSTICES.
447
00:12:58,733 --> 00:13:00,767
RONNIE, BOBBY, RICKY, AND
448
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:05,233
MIKE. "COOL IT NOW."
449
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,067
CAN YOU NAME THE 13 ORIGINAL
450
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,467
COLONIES?
451
00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:12,867
HELL, NO.
452
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,067
OK. WE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
453
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:20,133
DIFFERENT. OK. TELL ME THIS.
454
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,367
HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN ANYBODY IN
455
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,800
CONNECTICUT?
456
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,467
OH, SURE. LARRY IN
457
00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:27,133
CONNECTICUT.
458
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:29,233
HE DRANK TOO MUCH.
459
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:32,400
OK. SO YOU WERE COMPATIBLE.
460
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,067
OK. LARRY IN "CONNECTICO."
461
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:37,067
OK. HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN ANYBODY
462
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,333
IN NEW YORK?
463
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,700
THERE WAS TITO. OH, HE WAS
464
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,133
SUCH A GOOD DANCER.
465
00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,067
HE DID THE MAMBO.
466
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,067
THEN HE'D DO
467
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:45,900
CHINKY-CHINKY THING.
468
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,667
OK, PUT THE BEER DOWN.
469
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:51,200
OK. LARRY IN CONNECTICUT AND
470
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,067
TITO IN NEW YORK.
471
00:13:53,067 --> 00:13:54,667
OH, I GET IT.
472
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,833
YOU'RE GOING TO NAME THE REST OF
473
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:56,833
THE COLONIES.
474
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:58,100
AND I WILL NAME THE REST OF MY
475
00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:59,800
LOVERS.
476
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,067
THERE YOU GO. BUT THERE'S
477
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:04,933
ONLY 13 COLONIES.
478
00:14:04,933 --> 00:14:07,233
VOILA. ANOTHER MASTERPIECE.
479
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,067
[APPLAUSE]
480
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:08,667
YES.
481
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:09,633
I'M IMPRESSED!
482
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:12,267
YES, YES, YES. THANK YOU.
483
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:13,533
THANKS A LOT, GUYS.
484
00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:14,700
I APPRECIATE YOU.
485
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,733
THANKS A LOT. GOOD TO BE HERE.
486
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:18,367
YES! HA HA! I'M CLIPPING
487
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,800
THESE HAIRCUTS TODAY.
488
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,567
WHO'S NEXT?
489
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:25,833
YOU KNOW, I WASN'T EVEN
490
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:26,733
DONE.
491
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,400
YOU ARE NOW.
492
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,567
SO ANYBODY THAT'S WAITING FOR
493
00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:31,533
ZACH, YOU CAN COME
494
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:34,067
AND GET A TAP.
495
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,167
UH-UH. HOLD UP, FOOL. I'M
496
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:38,233
TALKING ABOUT YOUR NAILS.
497
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:39,867
SO WHAT KIND OF CUT DO YOU
498
00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:42,867
WANT?
499
00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,533
NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT FROM KIKI'S
500
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:46,067
BASIC CHART. LET ME SHOW YOU
501
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,833
SOMETHING. THAT IS SO
502
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:50,667
OLD-SCHOOL. LOOK AT THAT.
503
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,067
THAT'S THE "EN-ZACH-LOPEDIA
504
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,433
HAIRITANNICA."
505
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:57,967
GO AHEAD AND PICK SOMETHING OUT.
506
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,167
OOH, OOH! THE PREDATOR?
507
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,067
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE READY FOR
508
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,200
THAT.
509
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,300
YO, HE ALREADY GOT THE
510
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,333
PREDATOR STARTER KIT.
511
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,467
OK, HOW ABOUT WE GO WITH
512
00:15:06,467 --> 00:15:07,333
THE BARNEY RUBBLE?
513
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:08,333
YOU'LL BE GETTING ALL
514
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,600
THE BETTIES WITH THAT ONE.
515
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,733
MIGHT EVEN GET A LITTLE WILMA
516
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:11,300
ON THE SIDE.
517
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,167
HA! OOH.
518
00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:14,167
ALL RIGHT. I CAN TAKE
519
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:18,133
WHOEVER'S NEXT.
520
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,267
I SAID, I COULD TAKE
521
00:15:19,267 --> 00:15:22,567
WHOEVER IS NEXT.
522
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,267
OH, DON'T NONE OF YOU HEAR ME?
523
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:25,367
HEY, YO, SHORTY DOO-WOP,
524
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:26,100
I'M DOING YOU NEXT.
525
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:26,900
COME ON. LIKE IT OR NOT,
526
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:27,967
YOU'RE GETTING CUT ONE WAY OR
527
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,067
ANOTHER TODAY. THAT'S WHAT I'M
528
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:29,767
SAYING.
529
00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:30,933
GETTING CUT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
530
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:31,700
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
531
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,467
SIT RIGHT THERE, AND LET ME LINE
532
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,500
YOU UP. BACK THE HEAD UP.
533
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,267
BACK THE HEAD UP.
534
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:36,900
KIKI.
535
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:37,533
WHAT?
536
00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:42,400
LEAVE REVEREND CANNON ALONE.
537
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,533
AMEN. PRAISE HIM.
538
00:15:43,533 --> 00:15:44,533
YOU KNOW WHAT?
539
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:45,300
I THINK YOU NEED THE REST OF THE
540
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,167
DAY OFF.
541
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:47,100
I'M JUST SAYING--
542
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:47,967
NO, NO. PRAISE THE LORD.
543
00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:48,633
COME ON, Y'ALL.
544
00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:49,300
COME ON.
545
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:49,900
COME ON.
546
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:50,567
NOW, NOW.
547
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:51,300
YOU NEED ME TO LINE YOU UP?
548
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:51,900
COME ON. LET'S GO.
549
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:52,800
I'LL GET YOU A FADE.
550
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,200
I CAN DO FLAT TOPS.
551
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,900
COME ON. I CAN DO CORN ROWS.
552
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:56,800
SOMEBODY? ANYBODY?
553
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,733
COME ON, KIKI.
554
00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:58,733
COME ON, KIKI. COME WITH ME,
555
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,300
KIKI.
556
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,633
TITO IN NEW YORK, VICTOR IN
557
00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:03,700
VIRGINIA, AND DIEGO IN
558
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,100
NORTH AND SOUTH CAROLINA.
559
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,367
HE MOVED A LOT.
560
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:08,100
AND THERE WAS MIGUEL IN MARYLAND
561
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,200
AND DELFINO IN DELAWARE,
562
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,233
AND RONNIE IN RHODE ISLAND,
563
00:16:12,233 --> 00:16:17,133
AND THEN MARIA IN PENNSYLVANIA.
564
00:16:17,133 --> 00:16:18,600
MARIA?
565
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,567
WELL, I DID A LITTLE TIME.
566
00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:24,200
BUT SHH.
567
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,767
YOU GOT IT!
568
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:26,933
YOU LITTLE HUSSY, YOU.
569
00:16:26,933 --> 00:16:28,167
[LAUGHTER]
570
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,367
OH, LET ME TELL YOU GUYS
571
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,733
ABOUT MY DATE LAST NIGHT.
572
00:16:34,733 --> 00:16:35,667
[CHUCKLES]
573
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,100
OK, SO FIRST, HE TOOK ME TO
574
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:40,367
AN INDIAN RESTAURANT. RIGHT?
575
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,433
OK, HOLD ON.
576
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,267
AND THEN AFTERWARDS, WE WENT AND
577
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:48,133
WE WATCHED THE SUNSET.
578
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,467
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.
579
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,333
AND THEN AFTERWARDS, HE
580
00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:53,833
SERENADED AT ME.
581
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,433
HE SOUND WHITE.
582
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:58,900
MM-HMM. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
583
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,233
ME AND VANITA, WE HAD THE
584
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:01,533
INCENSE BURNING.
585
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,200
AW.
586
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,067
WE HAD CANDLES LIT ALL
587
00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:05,067
AROUND. AND I POURED ABOUT
588
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,133
90 POUNDS OF HOG HEAD CHEESE
589
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:06,767
OVER IN THE TUB.
590
00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:07,533
EW.
591
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,933
DON'T, FLOYD. FLOYD, FLOYD!
592
00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:10,567
COME ON.
593
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:11,467
THAT STUFF IS HARD TO CLEAN
594
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,067
OFF, THOUGH.
595
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,100
HEY, ZACH.
596
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,067
HEY, DANA.
597
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:18,733
WHAT'S UP, SECOND PLACE?
598
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:23,067
HOLD UP. DANA?
599
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:23,800
HUH?
600
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,400
WHAT'S UP? YOU, UH, WENT OUT
601
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,233
WITH OLD WHACK ZACH OVER HERE?
602
00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:28,100
YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS
603
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,533
WHACK WHEN WE WENT OUT.
604
00:17:29,533 --> 00:17:30,167
WHAT?!
605
00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,167
WHAT?
606
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,433
NOW, HOLD UP. HOW YOU GONNA
607
00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:33,967
TELL ME THAT I CAN'T GO OUT
608
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:35,667
WITH HIM WHEN YOU ALREADY DID?
609
00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:37,133
I DID NOT GO OUT WITH HIM.
610
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,900
IT WAS NOT NO DATE.
611
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:42,767
HEAR YE, HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
612
00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:45,433
COURT IS NOW IN SESSION.
613
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:49,567
OK, DID HE PICK YOU UP?
614
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,600
YEAH. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE MY
615
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,433
CAR WAS--
616
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:52,800
YUP.
617
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,467
DID HE TAKE YOU OUT TO
618
00:17:55,467 --> 00:17:56,267
DINNER?
619
00:17:56,267 --> 00:17:56,967
YEAH. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE
620
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:57,600
MY CHECKING--
621
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,367
YUP.
622
00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:01,733
DID HE TRY TO KISS YOU?
623
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:02,800
I TRIED.
624
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,700
I CUT HIM.
625
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:06,633
YEAH. I GOT A LITTLE SCAR
626
00:18:06,633 --> 00:18:09,133
RIGHT HERE. SHE CUTS DEEP.
627
00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,067
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DATE TO
628
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,200
ME.
629
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,233
YO. IT WASN'T NO DATE.
630
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:14,467
I GOT A THING FOR ALBINOS.
631
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:16,633
I THOUGHT HE WAS ONE.
632
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:17,600
BOTH OF YOU ALL ARE SHADY FOR
633
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,067
NOT TELLING ME.
634
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,867
I'M GOING ON BREAK.
635
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,067
OH, COME ON, NOW, DANA.
636
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,300
DON'T DO THAT. OH, PLEASE.
637
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,633
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OUT, TOO.
638
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:35,200
NOW YOU FEEL BETTER?
639
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,333
OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW, I THINK
640
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,600
I'D BETTER GET SICK MORE OFTEN.
641
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,733
[CURTIS LAUGHING]
642
00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:41,167
I DID IT! I DID IT!
643
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:44,100
I DID IT! OH, OH, AY!
644
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,933
[LOUD WHISTLE]
645
00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:48,433
CONGRATULATIONS, ABUELA.
646
00:18:48,433 --> 00:18:49,467
HA HA. THANK YOU.
647
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,300
THANK YOU. AND THANKS TO YOU,
648
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,400
CURTIS PAYNE.
649
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,200
HA HA. OH, IT WAS NOTHING.
650
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,433
NO?
651
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,133
I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU LOOK
652
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,300
GOOD WITH THOSE FLAGS.
653
00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,567
OH, REALLY?
654
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:01,900
YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING IS VERY,
655
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,933
VERY NICE, BUT IT WOULD ALL GO
656
00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,367
BETTER WITH BEER.
657
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,533
THAT'S AMERICAN...
39868
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