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UH!
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H!
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OK. HERE WE GO.
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WE GO.
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PUT IT OVER THERE.
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R THERE.
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BABY.
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Y.
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BABY, AREN'T YOU GONNA
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T YOU GONNA
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COME IN?
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N?
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YES, AS SOON AS YOU CARRY
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AS YOU
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ME IN.ARRY
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N.
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EXCUSE ME?
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E ME?
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SWEETHEART, THIS IS OUR FIRST
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HI
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TIME IN OUR NEW CONDO AS MAN
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CONDO AS
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AND WIFE.
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SO...
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SO YOU HAVE TO CARRY ME OVER
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THE THRESHOLD. IT'S TRADITION.
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HUH.
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WAIT A MINUTE. YOU ARE NOT
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GOING IN TILL I GO IN.
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BABY, DIDN'T YOU JUST SEE ME
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CARRYING THEM HEAVY BOXES UP THE
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STAIRS? I'M NOT CARRYING
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NO BIG OL' WOMAN.
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WHAT? BIG OL' WHAT? NO!
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THAT'S MY WIFE. THAT'S--
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DON'T PUSH ME! STOP IT!
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STOP IT!
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WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? MY
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HUSBAND WAS SUPPOSED TO CARRY ME
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OVER THE THRESHOLD.
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TOLD YOU IT WAS HEAVY.
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PEANUT, GET THE BOXES.
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I KNOW YOUR KIND. ALL HIGH
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MAINTENANCE AND WHATNOT. WATCH
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HER, CALVIN.
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HOW ABOUT WHEN THEY LEAVE I
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CARRY YOU OVER THE BEDROOM
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THRESHOLD?
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OK.
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AW...LOOK AT THE HAPPY
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COUPLE. CALVIN. WOULD YOU GET
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OUTSIDE AND HELP US, MAN?
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MY BAD.
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JUST COULDN'T HIRE MOVERS.
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[SIGH]
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DEAL WITH DUMB AND DUMBER.
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OH. LET ME GUESS. THIS--THIS
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IS THE PHOTO ALBUM WITH ALL
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YOUR GRADE-SCHOOL PHOTOS, HUH?
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OH, ACTUALLY, NO, BABY. NO,
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BABY. NO. NO. NO! GIVE IT BACK,
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CALVIN! CALVIN! NO. THAT'S NOT
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FUNNY. GIVE ME...
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UH...BABY, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE
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THIS GIRL WITH THE BLONDE WIG.
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YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S ME.
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BUT IT SAYS "GODIVA EBONY
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JENKINS."
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YEAH, I WAS GODIVA 2001
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THROUGH 2002.
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OK. SO WHAT ABOUT THIS
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CURLY-HAIRED LADY NAMED AMANDA
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LOPEZ?
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Sí, PAPI.
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JUANITA HUNTER?
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FOR SURE.
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SO THESE ARE ALL YOUR
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ALIASES?
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YEAH, BABY. I JUST KEPT THEM
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TO REMIND MYSELF HOW FAR I'VE
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COME.
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SO...ARE YOU REALLY MIRANDA
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LUCAS?
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NO.
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NO?
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BECAUSE I'M MIRANDA PAYNE.
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LET ME HAVE THIS BOOK, BABY.
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NO, NO, NO. BUT I'M NOT DONE
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LOOKING AT IT.
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BONQUISHA ALIZEE?
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HOW ABOUT I'LL PUT ON MY OLD
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CHEERLEADING UNIFORM AND TAKE
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YOUR MIND OFF BONQUISHA?
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OOH, THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU,
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BECAUSE YOU NASTY!
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GIVE ME A "K-I-S-S."
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OK.
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HA HA HA!
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HEY! LOOK AT THE HAPPY
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COUPLE.
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HEY!
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Y'ALL STILL HAPPY, RIGHT?
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YES, WE'RE VERY HAPPY.
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SO HOW WAS THE HONEYMOON?
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OH, IT WAS WONDERFUL.
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Y'ALL MOVE INTO YOUR NEW SPOT
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YET?
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YEAH, BUT WE'RE STILL WAITING
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ON FURNITURE. BUT WE DON'T NEED
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A BED.
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MM-MMM.
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ALL RIGHTY, THEN.
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SO WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?
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OH, WE WERE JUST OUT AND
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GRABBING A BITE TO EAT, AND I
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FIGURED...
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WE'D CHECK OUT OUR INVESTMENT.
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HEY, UH, WHERE'S DELANTE?
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GET THIS. THE BOY MET A GIRL
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AT THE ROLLER RINK ON A FRIDAY.
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AND THEY ROLLED OFF INTO THE
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SUNSET AND GOT MARRIED ON
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SATURDAY.
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AND THEN MOVED TO ARIZONA ON
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SUNDAY.
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IDIOT.
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WOW.
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WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S--IT'S
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FUNNY. I NEVER REALLY NOTICED
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THAT THERE WERE ONLY TWO BARBER
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CHAIRS IN HERE. WHAT DO PEOPLE
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DO WHEN THEY'RE WAITING?
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TALK. THAT'S WHAT THEY DO IN
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BARBER SHOPS.
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UH, WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT,
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MIRANDA?
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OH, NOTHING, BABY. I MEAN,
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I'M JUST SAYING. YOU MAY NEED A
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LITTLE REDECORATING IN HERE,
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THAT'S ALL.
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GET YOUR WIFE, CALVIN.
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MIRANDA, WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU
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TALKING ABOUT? THE BARBER SHOP'S
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FINE.
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I DON'T SEE NOTHING THAT'S
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WRONG WITH THIS PLACE.
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I MEAN, I JUST THINK IT CAN
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BE BETTER. I'M JUST BEING
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HONEST. FLOYD, BY THE WAY, CAN I
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SEE THE BOOKS?
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HOLD UP, SWOLL UP.
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NOW, YOU DON'T BE COMING UP IN
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MY SHOP NOW ACTING LIKE YOU
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RUNNING THINGS, LIKE YOU OWN
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THIS PLACE.
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WE DO.
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25% ONLY, OK? THAT'S MY NAME
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IN THE WINDOW. HEH!
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FLOYD, YOUR NAME AIN'T IN THE
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WINDOW.
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MY MIDDLE NAME IS "INTHECUT."
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I JUST SPELL IT OUT BECAUSE
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IT'S A BIG WINDOW.
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UH, LOOK, FLOYD. SHE DIDN'T
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MEAN TO OFFEND YOU, BUT, UH, WE
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ARE ENTITLED TO SEE THOSE BOOKS.
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UH...OK. FINE, FINE. I'LL GET
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THE BOOKS. I'LL GET THE BOOKS.
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BOY...
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COME UP TO MY WAIST AND TRYING
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TO RUN MY...RED BAG, LAST YEAR.
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BLUE BAG, THIS YEAR. HAPPY
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TRAILS.
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OK, WAIT, WAIT.
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THERE'S A GREEN ONE
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SOMEWHERE.
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THE--THESE AREN'T BOOKS.
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THIS LOOKS LIKE SOME TRASH.
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HEY, DON'T KNOCK MY FILING
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SYSTEM, ALL RIGHT? WORK WITH
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WHAT YOU GOT.
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OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL
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JUST--I'LL JUST FIGURE THIS
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OUT, OK? I'LL SEE YOU GUYS
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LATER. HAVE A GOOD DAY.
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PSSH.
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LOOK, FLOYD. I'M SORRY ABOUT
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ALL THIS. YOU KNOW--YOU
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KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE. LOOK.
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LOOK. I'M GONNA HANDLE IT.
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OK. HANDLE IT.
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CALVIN!
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UH-HUH. I'M GONNA GO BYE-BYE
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NOW.
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OK. ALL RIGHT. HEY, CALVIN.
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YOUR SLIP'S SHOWING.
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YOUR DADDY KNOW YOU'RE A
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FREAK?
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OH, SHUT UP.
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WHAT THE HE--POOKIE AND
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PEANUT, GET UP.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ARE
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YOU FONDLING MY SKIRT?
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HEY, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN
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WHAT POOKIE HERE WAS DOING WITH
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THEM POM-POMS.
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HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?
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CALVIN, I'M OFFENDED YOU HAD
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TO ASK ME THAT.
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YOU KNOW WE KNOW HOW TO GET
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IN ANYTHING WITH A LOCK.
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WELL...
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ALMOST ANYTHING.
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CALVIN, WE GOT INTO
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00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:21,800
EVERYTHING EXCEPT THIS ROOM
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RIGHT HERE.
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OH.
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MM-HMM. IT WAS LOCKED UP
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TIGHT.
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UH, WHY IS THERE A LOCK ON
221
00:06:27,633 --> 00:06:28,533
THIS DOOR?
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IT'S A SURPRISE.
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00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:31,133
YEAH, IT'S A SURPRISE. WE'RE
224
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:31,967
SURPRISED WE COULDN'T GET INTO
225
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,533
IT, CALVIN.
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NO, SERIOUSLY,
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WHAT'S--WHAT'S IN THE ROOM?
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BABY, IT'S PERSONAL.
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OOH, HOO, HOO, HOO! PERSONAL.
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SECRETS. HOT STUFF.
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00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,967
BUT WE'RE MARRIED.
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00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:45,533
I KNOW.
233
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:46,700
SHE KNOW EVERYTHING.
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SHE JUST KNOW.
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MM-HMM.
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SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ME?
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NO, BABY.
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JUST AIN'T GONNA--NOT GONNA
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SAY NOTHING, HUH?
240
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,833
LOOK, SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
241
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BET YOU THERE'S A DEAD BODY
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IN THERE. I BET.
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NAH, CALVIN, I'LL BET THERE'S
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00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,233
ANOTHER MAN IN THERE.
245
00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:03,900
BETTER CHECK.
246
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:04,800
I'LL BET IT'S A DEAD MAN IN
247
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,233
THERE. YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.
248
00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:06,933
OH, WE GOING ON "COPS"
249
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:08,800
AGAIN? HA HA HA!
250
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I'M GOING OUT LIKE A "G." I
251
00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:10,633
AIN'T RUNNING. THAT'S WHAT I
252
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:11,833
LIKE TO DO.
253
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:12,633
DON'T Y'ALL HAVE SOMEWHERE TO
254
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BE?
255
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NO.
256
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,667
NO.
257
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:16,500
AND HOW COME Y'ALL AIN'T GOT
258
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NO FOOD IN THE REFRIGERATOR,
259
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:18,267
MAN?
260
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:19,067
YEAH, THAT'S RUDE TO HAVE
261
00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:20,067
PEOPLE OVER, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE
262
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THAT HELP Y'ALL MOVE, AND NOT
263
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:23,667
FEED THEM. GOT A BIG PICKLE.
264
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:24,900
OH, THESE ARE PICKLES--
265
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:26,467
GO HOME!
266
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WHAT?
267
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
268
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,667
LEAVING NOW. WE'RE GETTING
269
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:33,467
SOME PICKLES.
270
00:07:33,467 --> 00:07:34,200
HE PUT HIS HAND IN THERE.
271
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,067
TAKE THE PICKLES.
272
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,133
LEAVE THE PICKLES.
273
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,167
NOW, BABY, WHAT'S IN THE ROOM,
274
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,133
FOR REAL?
275
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,367
BABY, JUST LEAVE IT ALONE,
276
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,600
OK? IT'S NOTHING.
277
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,300
IS IT?
278
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,400
WHAT'S IN THE ROOM?!
279
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,567
PLEASE TELL ME.
280
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,500
WHAT YOU GOT?
281
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,600
TRY THAT OUT.
282
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,500
OH, NO. 16 CAN NEVER BEAT 12.
283
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,933
OH. IT'S MRS. PARTNER.
284
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,233
I CAME TO BRING FLOYD HIS
285
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:17,067
BOOKS BACK.
286
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:18,500
SO WHAT'D YOU FIND IN THEM?
287
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,533
A LOT OF DEBT AND TWO
288
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,900
MAGAZINES THAT, UH, YOU NEED TO
289
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,600
PRAY ABOUT.
290
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,833
THAT'S RESEARCH FOR A BIBLE
291
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:26,933
STUDY. WE STUDYING "GENESIS"
292
00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,433
THIS WEEK.
293
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,367
MOSTLY I FOUND OUT THAT I
294
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,633
WAS RIGHT. FLOYD, WE NEED TO
295
00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:35,067
MAKE SOME CHANGES AROUND HERE.
296
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,933
THE SHOP IS JUST NOT OPERATING
297
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,133
AT ITS MAXIMUM POTENTIAL.
298
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,367
YOU MARRIED CALVIN, AND HE
299
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:41,400
AIN'T OPERATING AT HIS MAXIMUM
300
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,767
POTENTIAL.
301
00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:44,700
HEY.
302
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:45,733
LOOK. IT'S JUST NOT GONNA BE
303
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,867
ANY CHANGES AROUND HERE. THAT'S
304
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:48,833
IT.
305
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:50,067
FLOYD, WE GOT INTO THIS
306
00:08:50,067 --> 00:08:51,633
BUSINESS TO MAKE MONEY, AND
307
00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:53,733
THAT'S WHAT WE INTEND TO DO.
308
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,800
SO...THE CONTRACTORS WILL BE
309
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,733
HERE NEXT WEEK.
310
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,067
FOR WHAT?
311
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,867
TO TEAR THE SHOP DOWN.
312
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,367
WHOSE SHOP YOU GONNA TEAR
313
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:11,067
DOWN? YOU BETTER GET BACK OVER
314
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,200
THERE SOMEWHERE. TEAR THIS SHOP
315
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,700
DOWN? WE STICK TOGETHER! WE
316
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:17,067
STICK TOGETHER!
317
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,200
THIS IS OUR SHOP.
318
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,067
YOU AIN'T GONNA TEAR DOWN
319
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:19,900
NOTHING! YOU BETTER NOT EVEN
320
00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:21,200
TEAR A PIECE OF PAPER AROUND
321
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,233
HERE.
322
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,067
EXCUSE ME. JUST LISTEN.
323
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:24,500
I'LL BE ON YOU!
324
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,433
IT'S--IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY.
325
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,400
YEAH, LIKE YOUR LIFE IN A
326
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,067
MINUTE.
327
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:30,867
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
328
00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:33,167
LET'S HOLD UP, NOW. LOOK. WE
329
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:34,133
WERE THINKING WE JUST WANT TO
330
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,500
EXPAND AND BRING IN SOME NEW
331
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,900
BARBER CHAIRS, AND THAT'LL
332
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,267
BRING MORE CUSTOMERS AND MORE
333
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:39,133
MOOLAH.
334
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,333
RIGHT.
335
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,467
YOU SAID MOOLAH?
336
00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:45,467
HA HA HA! OH, THAT'S--I COULD
337
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:46,367
DEAL WITH THAT. I COULD BE
338
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:49,167
DOWN. I COULD BE DOWN.
339
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:51,067
SO WHEN YOU SAY EXPAND, YOU
340
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,367
MEAN, LIKE, GET A NEW NAIL
341
00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:56,833
SECTION? I COULD DO MANICURES
342
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:59,867
AND PEDICURES AND MASSAGES. OOH,
343
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,467
WE COULD CALL IT "TOUCHED BY
344
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,300
DANA." OOH!
345
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,400
HALF THE MEN IN ATLANTA DONE
346
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,933
BEEN TO THAT SPA.
347
00:10:06,933 --> 00:10:07,867
LOOK. IF WE PUT A BUNCH OF
348
00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,133
WOMEN'S STUFF AROUND HERE, WE
349
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:11,333
WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TALK GUY
350
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,833
TALK.
351
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:13,900
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER TALK,
352
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,067
GUY TALK OR MONEY TALK?
353
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,300
BOTH.
354
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,033
WELL--HOLD UP. WHO WEARING THE
355
00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:22,067
PANTS IN YOUR MARRIAGE? NO, NO,
356
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,567
WHO WEARING THE PANTS IN YOUR
357
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:24,900
MARRIAGE, CALVIN?
358
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,600
HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP,
359
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,933
HOLD UP. I WEAR THE PANTS IN
360
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:28,867
THIS HERE!
361
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:29,767
SPEAK ON IT, BROTHER.
362
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:30,667
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? I'M
363
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:31,533
THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP,
364
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:32,567
YOU HEAR ME?
365
00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,133
WELL! HAH!
366
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:37,200
TALK ABOUT IT. DON'T BE SCARED.
367
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,633
NOW, LOOK, BABY. MAYBE HE'S
368
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:39,767
RIGHT. YOU KNOW, THIS IS A
369
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,033
BARBER SHOP. IT'S A BARBER SHOP.
370
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,000
THIS IS WHERE MEN COME TO TALK
371
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,367
ABOUT SPORTS...
372
00:10:44,367 --> 00:10:46,000
HEISMAN.
373
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,500
A LITTLE BIT OF POLITICS...
374
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:48,900
OBAMA.
375
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,567
AND OUR WEEKEND FLINGS.
376
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,700
OH, MAMA...
377
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:54,800
I MEAN, THEIR WEEKEND
378
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,933
FLINGS. BABY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
379
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,267
HOW TO FLING. I LOST MY FLINGER
380
00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:00,133
A LONG TIME AGO. I DON'T--I
381
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:00,800
DON'T EVEN HAVE
382
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:01,633
WEEK FLINGS, JUST
383
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:02,867
STRAIGHT WEEKS. GO STRAIGHT
384
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,167
THROUGH. I'M FOCUSED.
385
00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:05,567
WOW.
386
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:07,967
I LOVE YOU.
387
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:09,733
YOU WHIPPED THAT THING, GIRL.
388
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:11,567
TAKE NOTES.
389
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:12,400
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY
390
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,333
CHANGES, PERIOD, THE END. I'M
391
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,733
DONE WITH THIS DISCUSSION.
392
00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:17,600
WELL, THEN, FLOYD, I HATE TO
393
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,667
SAY IT, BUT THIS PARTNERSHIP
394
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:20,867
CAN'T WORK. YOU NEED TO BUY US
395
00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:22,633
OUT.
396
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,533
WHERE YOU GOING, GIRL? DON'T
397
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:27,633
GO. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? SHE
398
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:28,400
JUST TRYING TO HELP US GET
399
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,200
MO--YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TELLING
400
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,067
YOU...
401
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:32,467
WE WANT YOU, MIRANDA.
402
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,333
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
403
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,400
DOING. YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF
404
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,567
STUPID MEN!
405
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,633
[WHISTLE]
406
00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:39,633
WOMEN.
407
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:40,833
THAT'S RIGHT. LET ME TELL YOU
408
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,900
SOMETHING. DO US ALL A FAVOR.
409
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:44,900
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR
410
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,233
MARRIAGE AND MAKE EVERYBODY
411
00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:48,667
AROUND HERE HAPPY, KNOW WHAT YOU
412
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:49,967
GOT TO DO?
413
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:52,067
WHAT?
414
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:54,267
BEAT HER.
415
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:03,133
SO DID YOU TALK TO MIRANDA?
416
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,267
YEAH. WE ARGUED HALF THE
417
00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:05,567
NIGHT, AND THEN I ENDED UP
418
00:12:05,567 --> 00:12:07,600
SLEEPING ON THE COUCH.
419
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,333
YOU BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO
420
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:10,167
SECONDS, AND SHE DONE ALREADY
421
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:12,500
STOLE YOUR PANTS.
422
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,300
YOU KNOW, I KIND OF LIKE THE
423
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,900
IDEA OF A NEW SHOP.
424
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,967
ME, TOO.
425
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:17,833
WHERE'S YOUR LOYALTY?
426
00:12:17,833 --> 00:12:19,400
LOOK. WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
427
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,467
WHICHEVER ONE PAYING.
428
00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:23,767
WELL, LOOK. I'M STICKING ON
429
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,967
FLOYD'S SIDE.
430
00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:25,900
COME ON. THAT'S WHAT I'M
431
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:26,567
TALKING ABOUT.
432
00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,200
MIRANDA DON'T RULE ME.
433
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,900
CALL SOMEBODY!
434
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:30,667
I'M MY OWN MAN. I WEAR THE
435
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,067
PANTS UP IN HERE, YOU HEARD?
436
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:32,933
TWO TIMES.
437
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,067
UNH! UNH!
438
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:34,900
THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLL, YOU
439
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,700
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
440
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:36,467
YOU'RE ROLLING!
441
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:37,267
I'M THE MAN IN THIS
442
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,867
RELATIONSHIP.
443
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:39,700
ALL RIGHT.
444
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:40,467
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
445
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:41,300
MM-HMM.
446
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,200
ARE YOU WITH ME, THOUGH?
447
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,833
YES. OVER HERE, I'M WITH YOU.
448
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,700
SHE'S STANDING BEHIND ME,
449
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,367
ISN'T SHE?
450
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,467
YEP.
451
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:51,800
DOES SHE LOOK MAD?
452
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,567
YEP.
453
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:54,467
IS SHE WEARING THE HELL OUT
454
00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:56,067
OF HIS PANTS, Y'ALL?
455
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,867
YEP.
456
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,967
HEY, BABY--
457
00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:02,800
UH-UH. I DON'T EVEN HAVE
458
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,867
TIME TO DEAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
459
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,700
FLOYD, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE
460
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,400
WHAT I CAME UP WITH?
461
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,700
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
462
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:10,533
FLOYD, JUST COME AND TAKE A
463
00:13:10,533 --> 00:13:11,533
LOOK.
464
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,067
NO, THANK YOU.
465
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,433
FLOYD!
466
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,767
I'LL TAKE A LOOK.
467
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:22,400
LOOK AT THIS. OK. SO I WAS
468
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,233
THINKING WE COULD MOVE THE
469
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:25,500
SHOESHINE CHAIR, TAKE THAT--
470
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,867
NOT MY SHOESHINE CHAIR!
471
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:31,067
WE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!
472
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:32,133
THAT WAY, WE CAN EXPAND THE
473
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,100
NAIL SALON AREA. THEN, I WAS
474
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:34,900
THINKING--
475
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:35,833
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
476
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:38,933
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD UP. I
477
00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:42,200
GOT PLANS OF MY OWN.
478
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,800
BA-DOW!
479
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,533
CALVIN, YOUR PAPER IS BLANK.
480
00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:50,333
THERE'S NOTHING ON HERE.
481
00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:52,367
THAT'S WHAT BLANK MEANS.
482
00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:53,333
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
483
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,200
WE'RE GONNA CHANGE: NOTHING.
484
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,167
BOO-YAH! UNH!
485
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:01,167
GIVE ME SOME. HIGH-FIVE.
486
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:02,533
HIGH-FIVE. HIGH-FIVE.
487
00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:04,167
UNH!
488
00:14:04,167 --> 00:14:05,067
THAT'S HOW WE DO.
489
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,367
YOU TOLD HER. YOU THE MAN!
490
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,100
THAT'S RIGHT.
491
00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:07,867
RIGHT!
492
00:14:07,867 --> 00:14:08,700
THAT'S RIGHT.
493
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,800
THAT'S RIGHT. HA HA! OOH-WEE.
494
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,767
I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BABY.
495
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:15,133
I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE ON
496
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,367
THE COUCH AGAIN.
497
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:18,067
THINK YOU GONNA NEED THIS
498
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:18,767
FOR A BLANKET. IT'S GONNA BE
499
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,633
CHILLY TONIGHT.
500
00:14:22,967 --> 00:14:24,100
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
501
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,267
COMPROMISE. FLOYD'S OWNED THAT
502
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:26,600
BARBER SHOP FOR YEARS. I THINK
503
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,233
HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.
504
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,133
CALVIN, FLOYD IS COMPLETELY
505
00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:32,267
OVERLOOKING AN ENTIRE
506
00:14:32,267 --> 00:14:34,067
DEMOGRAPHIC THAT WE NEED TO TAP
507
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:35,400
INTO.
508
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,633
OK. THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
509
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,100
HAVE DISCUSSED IT WITH ME BEFORE
510
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,500
YOU PRESENTED IT TO FLOYD,
511
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,067
SINCE I AM A PARTNER, TOO.
512
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:44,067
BABY. NOW, YOU KNOW YOU
513
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:46,233
DON'T HAVE A BUSINESS MIND.
514
00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,800
JUST LET ME TAKE THE LEAD ON
515
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,600
THIS, OK?
516
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,833
I DON'T HAVE A BUSINESS MIND?
517
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:55,567
I DON'T HAVE A BUSINESS MIND?
518
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:56,533
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY BUSINESS
519
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:58,100
MIND IS THINKING. I'M THINKING
520
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,167
YOU LOANED ME THAT MONEY SO YOU
521
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,667
CAN HAVE CONTROL OVER ME.
522
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,533
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
523
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,067
CALVIN? NO, I DIDN'T.
524
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,333
YES, YOU DID.
525
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,267
YOU'VE MARRIED A STRONG
526
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,067
WOMAN, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE
527
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:07,633
THAT--
528
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:08,733
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH
529
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:09,800
BEING MARRIED TO A STRONG
530
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,200
WOMAN, BUT I GOT A PROBLEM WHEN
531
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,400
THAT STRONG WOMAN WANTS TO
532
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,467
TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD.
533
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:15,233
CALVIN, I DON'T TREAT YOU
534
00:15:15,233 --> 00:15:17,200
LIKE A CHILD! WILL YOU PUT THAT
535
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,067
KOOL-AID BACK IN THE
536
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,867
REFRIGERATOR?
537
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:22,533
BABY, THIS IS A LARGE
538
00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:24,600
INVESTMENT.
539
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,667
WHAT IF YOU FAIL?
540
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,533
THEN I FAIL. BUT I'M GONNA
541
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,267
DO IT STANDING ON MY OWN TWO
542
00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:33,433
FEET, ON MY OWN TERMS, AND AS A
543
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,267
MAN.
544
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,633
BABY, I'M SORRY.
545
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:56,367
I'M SORRY.
546
00:15:56,367 --> 00:15:58,233
WHERE DO I FIT IN?
547
00:15:58,233 --> 00:16:00,167
MIRANDA, RIGHT HERE, BY MY
548
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,667
SIDE, TO HAVE AND TO HOLD.
549
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,667
FOR RICHER OR FOR POORER?
550
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:07,400
YES, MA'AM.
551
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,767
MMM. MMM. I LOVE A MAN WHO
552
00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:12,867
CAN TAKE CHARGE. MMM.
553
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,367
YEAH.
554
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,867
I, UH...LOVE A MAN EVEN MORE
555
00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:26,667
WHO CAN TAKE CHARGE IN THE
556
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,500
BEDROOM.
557
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,133
HEH! I AIN'T COMING IN
558
00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:32,433
THERE TILL YOU PUT THAT KOOL-AID
559
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:33,833
IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
560
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:37,500
OH, SEE, NOW YOU'RE TRIPPING.
561
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,500
OK. OK, BABY, I WENT TOO
562
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,100
FAR. I WENT TOO FAR.
563
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,067
HOO, HOO, HOO, HOO!
564
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:48,600
WHOO!
565
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:53,067
BAM!
566
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:56,267
THIS IS HOW I DO.
567
00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:57,600
WHAT'S THIS?
568
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,733
I GOT A LOAN ON MY OWN, AND
569
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:06,533
I AM BUYING YOUR...OUT.
570
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,533
BABY, THIS IS A LOT OF MONEY.
571
00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:13,500
WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM? YOU
572
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,333
DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL, DID
573
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,100
YOU?
574
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,133
DEFINE "ILLEGAL."
575
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:18,067
CALVIN!
576
00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:19,067
I'M JUST PLAYING, BABY. I'M
577
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,800
JUST PLAYING. I WENT TO FLOYD
578
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,267
FOR THE MONEY. WHEN I TOLD HIM I
579
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:24,533
WAS BUYING YOU OUT...HEH...HE
580
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:26,233
OFFERED TO GIFT-WRAP IT.
581
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:32,800
WELL...
582
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,067
BABY, HOW YOU GONNA PAY THIS
583
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,500
MONEY BACK?
584
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,333
THROUGH MY SHARE OF THE
585
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,833
PROFITS.
586
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:39,967
BABY, THE SHOP ISN'T MAKING
587
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:42,867
ANY MONEY.
588
00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:43,667
AND YOU'VE THOUGHT THIS
589
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,600
THROUGH?
590
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,533
LOOK. I GOT THE CHECK, I GOT
591
00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:50,067
THE FAITH, AND I'M BUYING
592
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,967
YOUR...OUT.
593
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,733
OK.
594
00:17:56,733 --> 00:17:58,067
YEAH. HEH!
595
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,667
BABY, I'M PROUD OF YOU.
596
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:00,700
YOU'RE PROUD OF ME?
597
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:01,700
I'M PROUD OF YOU, BABY.
598
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:02,500
IT WAS HARD, BABY.
599
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:06,200
OH, I KNOW.
600
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,400
ALL THAT HARD WORK--I HAVE
601
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,433
SOMETHING FOR YOU.
602
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:10,467
WHAT?
603
00:18:10,467 --> 00:18:13,733
LATER. RIGHT NOW, GO INTO
604
00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:15,500
THE ROOM. IT'S OPEN.
605
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:16,200
YOU GONNA LET ME SEE THE
606
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:16,933
ROOM?
607
00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:17,633
MM-HMM. GO.
608
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:18,367
IT'S WHIPS AND CHAINS IN
609
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:19,167
THERE?
610
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:20,067
STOP.
611
00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:20,800
I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT THE
612
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,533
ROOM. YEAH.
613
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,200
GO.
614
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,900
OOH! OOH! BABY!
615
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:29,200
IT'S AN OFFICE.
616
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,067
IT'S NOT JUST ANY OFFICE.
617
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,200
IT'S YOUR OFFICE.
618
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:33,967
BUT--BUT YOU SAID I
619
00:18:33,967 --> 00:18:35,367
DIDN'T--YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE
620
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:37,067
A BUSINESS SENSE.
621
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,267
I MARRIED YOU, DIDN'T I? I
622
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:41,933
KNEW WHAT POTENTIAL YOU HAD.
623
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:43,433
AW, BABY, I LOVE YOU, MRS.
624
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:44,400
PAYNE.
625
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,233
I LOVE YOU, MR. PAYNE. MMM.
626
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:51,133
WELL, UH...AHEM. HEH!
627
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:51,933
HMM?
628
00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:52,833
WHY DON'T YOU STEP INTO MY
629
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:53,833
OFFICE?
630
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:54,933
HEE HEE! OK, BUT WAIT. GIVE
631
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,400
ME ONE SECOND. JUST WAIT.
632
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,467
WHAT YOU GOT?
633
00:18:59,467 --> 00:19:01,333
WHIPPED CREAM?
634
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:05,333
HO, HO! WHOO HOO HOO! YEAH!
635
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,167
EXCUSE ME, PAPI! OH!
636
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:08,500
OOH, I'M ABOUT TO TEAR THAT
637
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:08,767
UP!
38539
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