Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,633 --> 00:00:04,700
"MIRANDA, YOU'RE MY ONE
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,100
AND ONLY.
3
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,767
BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M NEVER
4
00:00:07,767 --> 00:00:09,367
LONELY.
5
00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:10,667
I'M SO GLAD THAT WE'RE
6
00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,700
TOGETHER."
7
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,700
I'M SO GLAD THAT WE'RE
8
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:17,233
TOGETHER, UH --
9
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,800
"AND I WANT
10
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,800
TO BE WITH YOU
11
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,633
F...
12
00:00:26,633 --> 00:00:29,867
FOR-- FOR--
13
00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:32,433
FOR...
14
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,767
AH.
15
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,967
"FOR--" HMM!
16
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,233
HEY, COME ON, SON.
17
00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:40,233
LET'S GET SOMETHING TO EAT
18
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,067
BEFORE C.J. GET HERE WITH THE
19
00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:42,200
TUXES.
20
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,500
POPS, I'M -- I'M TOO NERVOUS
21
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,167
TO EAT.
22
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:45,200
NOT -- NOT NOW.
23
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,000
WELL, YOU'RE TOO BROKE TO
24
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,567
GET MARRIED.
25
00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:47,833
THAT'S NOT STOPPING YOU.
26
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,567
LOOK, POPS, NOT NOW.
27
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:49,900
I'M -- I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE
28
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:50,767
HERE.
29
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:51,500
CONCENTRATE ON WHAT?
30
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,267
WHAT YOU DOING?
31
00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,833
HUH -- CALVIN, WHY YOU WAIT TILL
32
00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:56,900
YOUR WEDDING DAY TO WRITE YOUR
33
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,000
VOWS?
34
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,300
POPS, WITH EVERYTHING GOING
35
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,767
ON, I HAVEN'T HAD TIME, AND I
36
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,367
WOULD BE FINISHED BY NOW IF I
37
00:01:02,367 --> 00:01:05,567
WOULDN'T GET STUCK ON THE WORD
38
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:08,667
"FORE--" "FOR--"
39
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,400
[GULPS]
40
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,267
"FOR--"
41
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:14,400
"FORE--" UGH, I-- I CAN'T SAY
42
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,567
IT.
43
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:16,533
I CAN'T SAY IT, POP.
44
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:17,767
SAY WHAT--"FOREVER"?
45
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:19,500
UH, YES, YES, YES, THAT, AND
46
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,500
EVERY TIME I HEAR IT, I START
47
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,867
GETTING NAUSEOUS AND -- AND I-I
48
00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:24,300
FEEL SICK.
49
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,167
CALVIN, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU
50
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,800
GETTING MARRIED?
51
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,167
I-I LOVE MIRANDA, AND I WANT
52
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,133
TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
53
00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,267
WITH HER.
54
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:32,800
OKAY, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
55
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,967
IS YOU LOVE HER AND YOU WANT TO
56
00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:38,267
BE WITH HER -- FOREVER!
57
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:38,933
YES, YES.
58
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,100
LOOK, POPS, JUST STOP SAYING
59
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:40,867
THE WORD.
60
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:41,533
FOREVER!
61
00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:42,200
NO, POP--
62
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,067
FOREVER! FOREVER! FOREVER!
63
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:43,567
FOREVER!
64
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:44,333
I'M GOING TO THROW UP.
65
00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:45,267
I'M GOING TO THROW UP.
66
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,733
YOU BETTER NOT THROW UP.
67
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,833
CALVIN, LOOK, IF YOU LOVE
68
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,567
MIRANDA AND YOU WANT TO BE WITH
69
00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,933
HER FOR... FOR A REALLY LONG
70
00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,767
TIME, WHY CAN'T YOU SAY IT?
71
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,067
I DON'T KNOW.
72
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,133
I-I JUST CAN'T.
73
00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,167
POPS, HELP ME.
74
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,967
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
75
00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:06,900
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.
76
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,067
I GOT IT.
77
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,500
OKAY.
78
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,767
UM -- "LOVE YOU, AND I WANT TO
79
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:18,667
BE WITH YOU... UNTIL DEATH."
80
00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:23,533
I-I COULD DIG THIS.
81
00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:24,233
HMM.
82
00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:25,067
YEAH, I COULD DIG THIS.
83
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,900
THANK YOU, POP!
84
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:27,833
IDIOT.
85
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:29,533
OW.
86
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,067
NOW FINISH IT.
87
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,067
I'M READY TO GET DRESSED.
88
00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:32,900
ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S DAD WITH THE
89
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:33,633
TUXES?
90
00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:35,400
MAN, HE IS TAKING FOREVER.
91
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,100
"FOREVER."
92
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,600
WHAT DID I SAY?
93
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,967
THE "F" WORD.
94
00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:52,633
AH!
95
00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:54,067
HMM.
96
00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:55,900
ISN'T THIS THE LIFE?
97
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,100
YES, DEAR, IT IS.
98
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:57,967
[ CHUCKLING ]
99
00:02:57,967 --> 00:02:58,633
YEAH.
100
00:02:58,633 --> 00:02:59,400
I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
101
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,133
I JUST LOVE BEING
102
00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:00,767
PAMPERED.
103
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,767
DON'T YOU, MIRANDA?
104
00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,233
SWEETHEART, WHAT'S WRONG?
105
00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:05,500
OH, MOMMY!
106
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,300
ALL OF THE STRESS FROM THIS
107
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,867
WEDDING IS MAKING MY FACE BREAK
108
00:03:07,867 --> 00:03:09,300
OUT -- LOOK AT THIS BIG ZIT!
109
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:09,967
OH!
110
00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:10,700
LET ME SEE, COME ON.
111
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,167
LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE.
112
00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:14,500
BABY, THERE IS NOTHING THERE.
113
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,433
MOMMY, YES, IT IS RIGHT HERE!
114
00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:17,200
AHEM. ELLA, DO YOU SEE
115
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:17,767
ANYTHING?
116
00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:18,433
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
117
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:19,233
IT'S RIGHT THERE, IT'S RIGHT
118
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:19,967
THERE, IT'S RIGHT THERE.
119
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:20,700
MIRANDA, I DON'T SEE
120
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,533
ANYTHING EITHER, BABY.
121
00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:23,267
MIRANDA, TURN AROUND,
122
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:23,933
SWEETIE, LET ME SEE.
123
00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:24,967
LOOK!
124
00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:26,533
UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, BABY?
125
00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:27,700
I THINK YOU'RE HALLUCINATING.
126
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,533
THERE'S NO PIMPLE THERE.
127
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:29,367
OK, WELL, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
128
00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:29,867
WAIT.
129
00:03:29,867 --> 00:03:31,633
I AM NOT HALLUCINATING!
130
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:32,567
THERE IS A ZIT, AND IT IS RIGHT
131
00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:33,833
HERE AND I SEE IT.
132
00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:34,767
OKAY.
133
00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:35,667
OH!
134
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:36,400
YOU -- YOU KNOW WHAT?
135
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,467
MIRANDA, I THINK YOU NEED TO
136
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,667
CUT BACK ON THE CAFFEINE.
137
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:39,433
YEP.
138
00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:40,100
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
139
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,800
OH, EXCUSE ME.
140
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,467
HELLO?
141
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,733
CLARETHA?
142
00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:48,600
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH MY
143
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,767
MAKEUP?
144
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:51,667
OH, ELLA, I'M GOING TO GET
145
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,067
RIGHT ON YOU AS SOON AS I
146
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,500
FINISH THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
147
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,633
AND THE MATRON OF HONOR.
148
00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:57,133
OH, AND THE USHERS AND THE
149
00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,333
CATERER AND THE BRIDESMAIDS
150
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,067
AND --
151
00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,067
CLARETHA, FORGET IT.
152
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:00,733
OH.
153
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:01,533
JUST FORGET IT.
154
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,667
OH, OKAY.
155
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,667
WHERE IS YOUR SISTER, ANYWAY?
156
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,600
OH. THAT WAS YOUR FATHER.
157
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,533
THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY DELIVERY
158
00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:08,400
AT THE HOTEL.
159
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,633
WHAT?
160
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,433
THE HOUSEKEEPER WENT INTO
161
00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:11,333
LABOR.
162
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,267
BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN'T GET
163
00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,233
HERE IN TIME?
164
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,267
OH!
165
00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,800
OH.
166
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,267
WAIT, WAIT.
167
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:18,733
BUT -- WHO'S GOING TO WALK ME
168
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:19,667
DOWN THE AISLE?
169
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:20,633
WHO IS GOING TO BE MY MATRON OF
170
00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:21,600
HONOR?
171
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,433
MIRANDA, I NEED YOU TO CALM
172
00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:23,233
DOWN BEFORE YOU SEND ME INTO
173
00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,200
LABOR, OKAY?
174
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:24,900
[ MIRANDA SIGHS ]
175
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:25,567
THIS IS--
176
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:26,267
HEY, RELAX!
177
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,100
YOUR FATHER IS NOT GOING TO
178
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,467
MISS YOUR WEDDING, OKAY?
179
00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:29,233
YEAH.
180
00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:30,500
JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND
181
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,933
THINK OF HAPPY THOUGHTS, AND
182
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,300
THAT ALWAYS CALMS ME DOWN.
183
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,067
OKAY.
184
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,800
OKAY, EVERYBODY, INHALE.
185
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,067
[ ALL INHALE DEEPLY ]
186
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:37,800
AND BLOW IT OUT -- EXHALE.
187
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,767
[ ALL EXHALE DEEPLY ]
188
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:39,600
AND INHALE.
189
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,267
[ ALL INHALE ]
190
00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:41,067
AND THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS.
191
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:41,733
[ ALL EXHALE DEEPLY ]
192
00:04:41,733 --> 00:04:42,367
HAPPY THOUGHTS,
193
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:42,967
HAPPY THOUGHTS.
194
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,067
READY, READY?
195
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:44,933
UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
196
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:45,733
[ MIRANDA CHUCKLES ]
197
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:48,933
UH-UH, UH-UH, UH-UH, UH-UH!
198
00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:50,567
WHAT WAS -- WHAT WAS THAT
199
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,400
THOUGHT?
200
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,200
DO YOU THINK THAT CALVIN IS
201
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,733
AS NERVOUS AS I AM?
202
00:04:54,733 --> 00:04:56,300
UH, NO.
203
00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,200
I CAN'T BREATHE.
204
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,533
I CAN'T BREATHE.
205
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:01,767
I CAN'T BREATHE.
206
00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:02,800
WHAT IF I -- WHAT IF I DON'T
207
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,767
FINISH WRITING MY VOWS IN TIME?
208
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:04,800
I MEAN, MIRANDA'S GOING TO
209
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,300
THINK I DON'T LOVE HER.
210
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,667
COME ON, COUSIN CALVIN.
211
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,267
MAN UP!
212
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,900
OKAY?
213
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,433
THOUGHT YOU WERE A PLAYER.
214
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:13,500
BUT IF GETTING MARRIED GETS YOU
215
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,167
DOWN LIKE THIS,
216
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,733
I'M STAYING SINGLE.
217
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,667
HUH -- LIKE YOU REALLY
218
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:18,933
HAVE A CHOICE.
219
00:05:18,933 --> 00:05:20,133
I DO, AND I'M NOT GETTING
220
00:05:20,133 --> 00:05:22,333
MARRIED, BUT I WILL HAVE A LOT
221
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,167
OF LADIES.
222
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,267
OKAY, LADIES.
223
00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:32,833
YOU'VE TAKEN THE TOUR.
224
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,200
THAT WAS MY BEDROOM AND --
225
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,400
COMPLETE WITH THE HOT TUB BIG
226
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,500
ENOUGH FOR THREE.
227
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,867
[ CHUCKLES ]
228
00:05:38,867 --> 00:05:40,567
YOU SAW MY WALL WITH ALL OF MY
229
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,700
AWARDS, ACCOLADES FOR VALOR AND
230
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,967
HEROISM, INCLUDING COMMENDATIONS
231
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:47,067
FROM THE PRESIDENTS -- TWO,
232
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:49,133
INCLUDING OBAMA.
233
00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,867
BUT NOW, I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY
234
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,533
PRIZE POSSESSION.
235
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,333
I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY --
236
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:57,233
MY UNCLE CURTIS.
237
00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,467
YO, YO, GET OVER HERE.
238
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,467
WHOO, LOOK AT THEM!
239
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:02,700
BOY, LOOK AT THEM.
240
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:03,533
BOY, DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE
241
00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:04,067
THAT, GIRL.
242
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,067
LOOK HOW SHE--LOOK HOW SHE DO
243
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:05,700
LIKE THAT.
244
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,067
UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU
245
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,367
DOING HERE?
246
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,233
WHAT ARE YOU --
247
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:10,667
YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
248
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,600
WHY NOT?
249
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,433
THIS IS MY FUTURE FANTASY,
250
00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:14,933
NOT A NIGHTMARE.
251
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:15,733
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT A
252
00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:17,067
NIGHTMARE?
253
00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:17,867
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM WHEN HE
254
00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:20,500
WAS BORN -- OOH!
255
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,767
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UGLY?
256
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:22,867
THANK YOU.
257
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,067
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UGLY,
258
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,200
BOY?
259
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,600
HEY, IT WAS -- IT WAS A COUPLE
260
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,567
OF YEARS BEFORE I COULD SHOW HIM
261
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:28,733
TO ANYBODY.
262
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:29,700
HE WAS SO UGLY, UNLIKE
263
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,133
YOURSELVES.
264
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:32,167
OOP--YOU TRIPPED ME, YOU
265
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:32,833
TRIPPED ME.
266
00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:33,767
[ CHUCKLES ]
267
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,100
WHAT -- WHAT YOU TOUCHING?
268
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,233
FLIP ME OVER.
269
00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:39,100
FLIP ME OVER.
270
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,733
YEAH, THERE WE GO.
271
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,667
OH, MY GOODNESS.
272
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:42,633
UNCLE CURTIS, YOU'RE RUINING
273
00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:43,900
MY FANTASY.
274
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:44,700
WELL, YOU RUINED MY PAST
275
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:45,400
FANTASIES.
276
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,633
THIS IS PAYBACK.
277
00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:48,833
HEY, MALIK?
278
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,667
JAZMINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
279
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,300
IN MY FUTURE FANTASY?
280
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:53,500
THIS IS MY HOUSE AND YOU
281
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,133
LIVE WITH ME.
282
00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,067
[ MALIK SIGHS ]
283
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,233
WHO ARE THESE GIRLS?
284
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,767
YOU GOT TO GO!
285
00:06:58,767 --> 00:06:59,667
GET OUT NOW.
286
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:00,467
NO.
287
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:02,367
NO, THIS IS NOT HOW MY FUTURE
288
00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,067
IS SUPPOSED TO BE -- NOT MY
289
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,233
FANTASY.
290
00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:05,967
PLEASE, I'M GOING TO
291
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,200
AGGRAVATE YOU UNTIL YOU DIE.
292
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,900
OH.
293
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,467
JAZMINE!
294
00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:13,967
WHAT?
295
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,067
SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE.
296
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:17,867
C.J., C.J., DID -- DID YOU
297
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:18,767
GET THE TUXES?
298
00:07:18,767 --> 00:07:19,867
YEAH, YEAH.
299
00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:20,700
I'M SORRY THE TUXEDO SHOP WAS
300
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:21,833
KIND OF CROWDED, BUT IT TOOK
301
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:22,967
FOREVER.
302
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,467
"FOREVER."
303
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,133
CALVIN?
304
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,433
WHAT'D I SAY?
305
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,767
THE "F" WORD.
306
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,400
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
307
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,300
A LITTLE BOUTIQUE HAD THAT
308
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:38,967
AND --
309
00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:40,467
BEAUTIFUL!
310
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,133
OOH!
311
00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:44,533
SANDRA, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!
312
00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:45,667
THANK YOU.
313
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:47,133
AND YOU LOOK STUNNING.
314
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:47,933
OH, LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
315
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:48,700
YES, I DO, BUT WE WERE
316
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,800
TALKING ABOUT ME. YES, I DO.
317
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,700
[ LAUGHING ]
318
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,700
I DO GREAT WORK.
319
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,733
YES, YOU DO.
320
00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:56,533
IT WAS HARD WORK, BUT
321
00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:58,333
SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
322
00:07:58,333 --> 00:07:59,767
BUT YOU LOOK GOOD.
323
00:07:59,767 --> 00:08:01,067
WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?
324
00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,067
HOW DO I LOOK?
325
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,200
YOU LOOK LIKE A LITTLE
326
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,267
PRINCESS, DON'T YOU?
327
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,567
THANK YOU.
328
00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:07,967
I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP.
329
00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:09,833
[ WOMEN LAUGH ]
330
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,567
* MIRANDA *
331
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:18,233
YES?
332
00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:20,067
WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED?
333
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,133
OH, I'M NOT GETTING DRESSED
334
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,333
TILL MY FATHER GETS HERE.
335
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,233
BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN'T
336
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:23,900
SHOW UP?
337
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,633
JAZMINE.
338
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,833
OH, MY GOODNESS.
339
00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:28,333
WHAT IF HE DOESN'T GET HERE?
340
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,333
LISTEN, I-I CAN'T GET MARRIED
341
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:30,067
WITHOUT HIM.
342
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,133
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
343
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:32,067
BABY, JUST BREATHE, BREATHE.
344
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:32,700
BREATHE.
345
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,067
HAPPY THOUGHTS.
346
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:34,933
LISTEN, LISTEN, THINK ABOUT
347
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:36,067
YOUR FUTURE.
348
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,500
THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE -- SOON,
349
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,667
YOU'LL BE MARRIED WITH CALVIN.
350
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:39,867
THAT AIN'T NO HAPPY THOUGHT,
351
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,100
JANINE.
352
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,667
AND -- AND YOU ARE GOING TO
353
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,400
BE LIVING IN YOUR OWN HOUSE AND
354
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,333
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOUR OWN
355
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,800
LITTLE BEAUTIFUL BABIES.
356
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,567
HOW THEY GOING TO BUY A
357
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,133
HOUSE?
358
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:48,967
CALVIN AIN'T GOT NO MONEY.
359
00:08:48,967 --> 00:08:51,067
HE CAN'T FEED NO CHILDREN.
360
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,067
HE DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
361
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:52,700
BIRTHING NO BABIES.
362
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,933
CLARETHA!
363
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:54,867
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'LL
364
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:55,733
BE DOING THIS TO YOUR OWN
365
00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:56,400
DAUGHTER.
366
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,900
[ KISSES ]
367
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,300
WELL, ACTUALLY, I WANT A SON.
368
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,067
REALLY?
369
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,067
REALLY?
370
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:01,900
YEAH.
371
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:02,733
I WANT A LITTLE BOY JUST LIKE
372
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:03,700
CALVIN.
373
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:04,567
OH.
374
00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:05,867
BABY, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK
375
00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,300
FOR.
376
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,133
[ PLAYING VIDEO GAME ]
377
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,800
COME ON, MAN.
378
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:14,467
CALVIN.
379
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,767
[ CALVIN LAUGHS ]
380
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:17,167
STOP PLAYING THOSE VIDEO GAMES
381
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,133
AND GET IN THERE AND CLEAN UP
382
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,067
YOUR ROOM.
383
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:19,767
ALL RIGHT, DAD.
384
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:20,967
I ALMOST BEAT A NEW RECORD.
385
00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:22,333
AND BESIDES, I DID IT YESTERDAY.
386
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,333
DON'T PLAY WITH ME.
387
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,367
I WILL -- I WILL -- I WILL --
388
00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:27,567
OKAY, POPS -- COOL.
389
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,500
AND WHY IS MY ELECTRICITY
390
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,967
BILL SO HIGH?
391
00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:31,633
WHY IS IT SO HIGH?
392
00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:32,400
YOU'RE SITTING UP IN HERE
393
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,467
PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, BREATHING
394
00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:34,367
UP ALL MY GOOD AIR.
395
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:35,500
[ DOOR OPENS ]
396
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:37,400
HEY.
397
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,067
HEY, BABY.
398
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:38,867
HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW HIGH
399
00:09:38,867 --> 00:09:40,400
OUR BILLS HAVE BEEN?
400
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,933
YOU SAY THE SAME THING EVERY
401
00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,300
TIME, CALVIN.
402
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,167
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE
403
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,600
TRUE.
404
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,367
OH.
405
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,300
AND, CALVIN JR., SCHOOL CALLED.
406
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,233
YOU CHANGED YOUR MAJOR AGAIN?
407
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,767
YEP.
408
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:52,567
THAT'S THE SIXTH TIME.
409
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,400
BOY, WHAT DID YOU CHANGE YOUR
410
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,667
MAJOR TO NOW?
411
00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:55,467
WELL, SEE, DAD, THERE WAS
412
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:56,433
THIS GIRL WHO WAS STUDYING
413
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,500
BIOLOGY --HUH-- SO I HAD TO
414
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,067
STUDY HER BIOLOGY.
415
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,433
THAT'S SO CORNY.
416
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,467
THAT'S SO CORNY.
417
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:04,267
BOY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU
418
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:05,000
LEARN IT FROM.
419
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,967
HE GETS IT FROM YOU.
420
00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:07,867
MIRANDA, PLEASE, I WAS NEVER
421
00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:08,767
LIKE THAT.
422
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:09,500
[ MIRANDA CHUCKLES ]
423
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,333
WELL, HE SURELY DIDN'T GET
424
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,100
IT FROM ME. HMM.
425
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,667
[ SIREN WAILS, KNOCK ON DOOR ]
426
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:15,800
CALVIN PAYNE JR., WE KNOW
427
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,200
YOU'RE IN THERE.
428
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,300
YOU ARE WANTED FOR THE OLD
429
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,600
DONKEY IN THE BUCKET TRICK,
430
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,833
CHECK FRAUD, AND PENSION
431
00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:21,667
STEALING.
432
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,400
HMM.
433
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,433
I WONDER WHERE HE LEARNED THAT.
434
00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,133
AND MALE PROSTITUTION.
435
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:28,633
WHAT?
436
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,900
HUH, HUH!
437
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,700
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
438
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,200
THAT WAS MY POPS.
439
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,067
[ MIRANDA SIGHS ]
440
00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,333
OH!
441
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,733
WHAT?
442
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,033
I THINK I WANT A GIRL.
443
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,967
YES.
444
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:46,800
THAT'S ENOUGH PICTURES.
445
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:47,733
SAVE THEM.
446
00:10:47,733 --> 00:10:49,300
THIS FAMILY COSTS MORE THAN GAS.
447
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,233
LOOKING SHARP, UNCLE CURTIS.
448
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,033
LOOKING GOOD, MAN.
449
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,000
DON'T I LOOK GOOD?
450
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:52,833
LOOK AT YOU -- YOU'RE LOOKING
451
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,600
GOOD YOURSELF THERE, YOUNG
452
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,433
FELLOW.
453
00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:55,567
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
454
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,267
YOU KNOW I TRY.
455
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,300
I TRY TO DO HOW I DO, YOU KNOW.
456
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,067
NO PICTURES, PLEASE.
457
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,767
NO PICTURES, NO PICTURES.
458
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:01,633
OH, BOY, WHOA -- WAIT A MINUTE,
459
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:02,100
PLAYER.
460
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:02,933
NOW, COME -- COME ON, TAKE MY
461
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:03,700
PICTURE NOW, MAN.
462
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,367
TAKE MY PICTURE.
463
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,900
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
464
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,600
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
465
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,400
I TOLD YOU I AIN'T BUYING NO
466
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,667
MORE FILM.
467
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:11,833
HE AIN'T THE GROOM.
468
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,600
SPEAKING OF THE GROOM,
469
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:13,967
WHAT'S TAKING CALVIN SO LONG?
470
00:11:13,967 --> 00:11:16,067
I DON'T KNOW -- CALVIN!
471
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,233
I CAN'T GET MARRIED!
472
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:19,867
YES, YOU CAN!
473
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,933
NOT IF I LOOK LIKE PRINCE!
474
00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,067
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
475
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,300
I HAVE NO IDEA.
476
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,967
CALVIN, GET OUT HERE NOW!
477
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,200
[ C.J. CHUCKLES ]
478
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,200
OOH-AAH!
479
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:37,533
OH.
480
00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:38,500
WHAT YOU -- TURN AROUND.
481
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,333
LET ME SEE IF THE BACK IS CUT
482
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,267
OUT.
483
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,367
WHAT -- THE BUTT CHEEKS?
484
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,200
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
485
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,767
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ON?
486
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,667
OBVIOUSLY, THE WRONG TUX!
487
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:47,733
OH, I GOT TO GET A PICTURE
488
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:48,867
WITH THIS.
489
00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:49,700
I HAVE GOT TO GET A PICTURE
490
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,767
WITH -- YOU DON'T MEET
491
00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,133
CELEBRITIES OFTEN.
492
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:52,800
HA!
493
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,567
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
494
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,400
OH, TAKE ONE WITH THE BEST
495
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:54,800
MAN.
496
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,600
TAKE ONE WITH THE BEST MAN.
497
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,200
OKAY, COME ON, COME ON!
498
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,133
UH, ME, TOO. ME, TOO.
499
00:11:58,133 --> 00:11:59,700
SAY 1999.
500
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,067
1999!
501
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,800
GET OFF ME!
502
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,567
HOW -- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
503
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,133
TO DO?
504
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:04,967
HOW AM I GOING TO GET MARRIED
505
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,367
LIKE THIS?
506
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,967
JUST -- PUT -- MAN, JUST --
507
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,767
JUST PUT ON A RASPBERRY BERET.
508
00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,200
AND THROW ON SOME DIAMONDS
509
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,500
AND PEARLS.
510
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,267
AND HOP IN YOUR LITTLE RED
511
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:14,367
CORVETTE.
512
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,333
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, POPS!
513
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,200
OKAY, OKAY.
514
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,067
WE'RE GOING TO RIDE BACK TO THE
515
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:17,933
SHOP AND FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED,
516
00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:18,933
ALL RIGHT?
517
00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:20,600
COME ON, RIDE WITH ME, MALIK.
518
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,567
HEY, LET'S NOT OPEN THE
519
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:22,233
SUNROOF.
520
00:12:22,233 --> 00:12:23,567
IT MIGHT BE A PURPLE RAIN --
521
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:24,667
OOH-AH!
522
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,067
KIND OF FUNNY.
523
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:27,733
NO, IT'S NOT.
524
00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,400
NO, IT'S NOT.
525
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,200
LET'S--LET'S FACE IT, POPS.
526
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,667
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED.
527
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,700
CALVIN, STOP IT.
528
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:32,633
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET THE
529
00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,500
HELL OUT MY HOUSE!
530
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,233
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET
531
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:36,500
MARRIED WHILE YOU DOING IT.
532
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,667
YOU DON'T STOP, DO YOU --
533
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,500
ALWAYS THREATENING TO KICK ME
534
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,067
OUT?
535
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:39,900
ONE DAY, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU
536
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:40,900
HOW IT FEELS.
537
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:41,967
WHAT YOU GOING TO DO?
538
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,233
MAN, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE
539
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:47,900
BET ON THEM!
540
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,567
I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE!
541
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:50,400
WELL, THEY LOSE EVERY TIME --
542
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,500
EVERY TIME THEY HAVE A TELEVISED
543
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,467
GLOBAL GAME.
544
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:54,333
POPS?
545
00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,467
WELL, LOOK, I'M TAKING MY
546
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:56,700
CREDIT CARD AND MY $1,000
547
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,700
ELSEWHERE NEXT TIME, I TELL YOU.
548
00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:58,367
POPS?
549
00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,067
HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
550
00:12:59,067 --> 00:12:59,867
I'M TRYING TO STRAIGHTEN THIS
551
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:00,733
OUT.
552
00:13:00,733 --> 00:13:01,633
NO -- WELL, THEN PUT ANOTHER
553
00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:02,800
GRAND ON IT, THEN!
554
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,667
POPS, IS THAT A LONG-DISTANCE
555
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:04,300
CALL?
556
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,200
YEAH -- YES.
557
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,300
YEAH, SON, I'M TRYING TO DO
558
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,167
THIS BET HERE.
559
00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:08,233
YEAH, WELL -- WELL, IT AIN'T MY
560
00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:09,567
MONEY!
561
00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:11,533
CURTIS HAS TO GO -- GOODBYE.
562
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,067
UH -- HUH?
563
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,067
NO, I DON'T WANT TO PLACE ANY
564
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,067
BETS!
565
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,567
THEY GOT GOOD ODDS.
566
00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:17,400
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO
567
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,467
TELL YOU -- NO MORE
568
00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:20,067
LONG-DISTANCE CALLS AND NO MORE
569
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:20,733
BETTING?
570
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,400
I HAD TO BET.
571
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,600
IT WAS A SURE THING.
572
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,867
WELL, DID YOU WIN?
573
00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:26,567
UH, NO, BUT I DIDN'T LOSE.
574
00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:27,400
WASN'T MY MONEY -- IT WAS YOUR
575
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,067
MONEY.
576
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,800
I GOT THE CARD RIGHT HERE!
577
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:30,533
I GOT THE CARD --
578
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,533
GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
579
00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:32,367
WAIT, WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE!
580
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,167
THIS IS WOOD. THIS IS WOOD!
581
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:33,967
NO, GET OUT OF MY CHAIR.
582
00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:34,633
I CAN'T -- OUCH!
583
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:35,367
OW, I GOT SPLINTERS!
584
00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,267
UH, UH!
585
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,367
GO GET THE TWEEZERS.
586
00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,267
YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME DOWN HERE?
587
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,233
YEAH.
588
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:44,500
PLEASE DON'T.
589
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,633
IT'S COLD DOWN HERE.
590
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:48,767
YOU ALL GOT WOOD FLOORS, WOOD
591
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,200
CHAIR, WOOD -- COULD YOU ALL
592
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,900
GET -- YOU ALL PRESERVING THE
593
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,067
WOOD.
594
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,167
BOY, EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN
595
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,200
TAKING THAT TAE BO, IT IS GOOD
596
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,733
AND TIGHT.
597
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,667
FEELS LIKE IT JUST LIKE--
598
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,167
OH.
599
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:09,833
HEY, BABY.
600
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:10,633
HEY, BABY.
601
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,633
HMM.
602
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:13,900
COME ON, MS. PAYNE.
603
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,067
HERE I COME.
604
00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:15,867
OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA -- THE
605
00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:16,500
EGGS ARE IN THERE.
606
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,633
WAIT A MINUTE.
607
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:18,367
WELL -- IT'S CLOSING!
608
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,067
IT'S CLOSING, BABY!
609
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:19,633
OH!
610
00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:20,933
YOU GOT TO GET ME, BABY.
611
00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,467
GET ME AND BRING ME IN.
612
00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:24,267
I GUESS I AIN'T NEVER -- WHY
613
00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:25,633
THIS DOOR DONE SHUT?
614
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:26,867
WHO SHUT IT?
615
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:27,933
WELL, WHO -- WHO?
616
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,400
WHO SHUT IT?
617
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,133
I THOUGHT YOU STARTED
618
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,700
CURSING, MS. PAYNE.
619
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,700
I'M HAPPY TO KNOW YOU'RE STILL
620
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:34,433
WITH THE LORD, BUT LISTEN --
621
00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:35,633
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO GROCERY
622
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:38,133
SHOPPING WITH ME ANYMORE, OKAY?
623
00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,200
YES?
624
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,833
IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS -- I CAN COOK
625
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,667
NOW, OKAY?
626
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,267
[ CURTIS CHUCKLES ]
627
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,233
THAT'S COOKING.
628
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,767
THAT'S NOT COOKING.
629
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,067
BABY, LISTEN, I HAVE TO GO
630
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:50,933
WITH YOU BECAUSE I GOT TO MAKE
631
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,500
SURE YOU GET CURTIS' FAVORITE
632
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,567
THINGS.
633
00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:54,900
HEY, BABY.
634
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,167
BUT EVERYTHING IS HIS
635
00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:58,267
FAVORITE THING, AND HE'S NOT MY
636
00:14:58,267 --> 00:15:00,067
HUSBAND.
637
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:00,967
HUH.
638
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:01,900
BABY, I KNOW HE AIN'T YOUR
639
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,400
HUSBAND -- LOOK AT ALL THAT MAN.
640
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,633
YOU CAN'T HANDLE ALL THAT MAN.
641
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:07,433
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS OLD
642
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:08,333
SCHOOL.
643
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,133
YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE
644
00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:10,200
THAT MAN.
645
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,167
[ CURTIS CHUCKLES ]
646
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:13,600
YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE THAT
647
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,533
MAN!
648
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:15,967
HELP ME, BABY!
649
00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:16,667
WELL, SET HER DOWN,
650
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,300
SET HER DOWN.
651
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,133
THERE SHE IS.
652
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:18,967
THERE IT GO. THERE SHE IS.
653
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:20,067
WHOO!
654
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,633
IT'S TIME I SET FORTH SOME
655
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:22,833
RULES IN THIS HOUSE.
656
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,100
WAIT A MINUTE.
657
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,567
RULE NUMBER ONE -- NOBODY
658
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,867
EVER, EVER SITS IN MY CHAIR.
659
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,300
WELL -- DON'T NOBODY WANT TO
660
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:31,967
SIT IN THAT CHAIR.
661
00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:34,233
THAT WOOD -- IT'S A WOOD CHAIR.
662
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,067
WHO THE HELL WANT TO SIT IN A
663
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,267
WOOD CHAIR?
664
00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,333
NOW, RULE NUMBER TWO --
665
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,233
NOBODY CONTROLS THE TV REMOTE
666
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,567
EXCEPT ME.
667
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:42,500
DON'T NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT
668
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,100
DOGGONE REMOTE.
669
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,200
I DON'T EVEN NEED THE REMOTE.
670
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,067
I'LL JUST HAVE YOU TAKE ME TO
671
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:47,700
THE GAME.
672
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:48,967
WILL YOU TAKE ME TO THE GAME?
673
00:15:48,967 --> 00:15:50,333
WITH WHAT MONEY?
674
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,100
I STILL GOT YOUR CREDIT
675
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,767
CARD -- YEAH, YEAH!
676
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:53,867
I GOT THE CARD, I GOT HIS CARD!
677
00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:54,567
RULE NUMBER THREE--
678
00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:55,267
I DON'T LEAVE HOME
679
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:55,867
WITHOUT IT.
680
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:56,733
GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD.
681
00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:57,200
HUH?
682
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,333
GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD.
683
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,267
HUH?
684
00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:01,067
GIVE ME -- GIVE ME BACK MY
685
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,067
CREDIT CARD!
686
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:05,533
HERE, GET -- GO AND GET IT.
687
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:06,700
POP, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
688
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,633
WOULD DO THIS TO ME.
689
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,700
YOU ALL GOING TO MOVE IN HERE,
690
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,233
RUNNING UP MY ELECTRICITY BILL,
691
00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:11,500
EATING UP ALL MY GOOD FOOD!
692
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,967
UGH!
693
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,100
PAYBACK IS A MUG, AIN'T IT?
694
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:15,767
[ ELLA CHUCKLES ]
695
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:16,433
YES, SIR.
696
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,867
YEAH!
697
00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,433
WE AIN'T LEAVIN' TILL WE DIE!
698
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,233
WHY YOU LOOKING SO UGLY?
699
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:28,833
CALVIN!
700
00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,233
CALVIN?
701
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:30,933
I DOUBLE-CHECKED, MAN.
702
00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:32,233
IT'S DEFINITELY YOUR TUX.
703
00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:33,067
MY MAN.
704
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:33,900
OKAY, NOW GO PUT YOUR STUFF
705
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:34,667
ON!
706
00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:38,167
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
707
00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:39,233
HELLO?
708
00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,067
OH, HEY, AUNTIE ELLA.
709
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,733
YEAH, WE WERE ALMOST DRESSED,
710
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,300
THEN UNCLE CURTIS -- I MEAN,
711
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,867
COUSIN CAL --
712
00:16:46,867 --> 00:16:48,933
YEP -- HEY, BABY.
713
00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:50,500
HEY.
714
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,200
NO, NO, EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
715
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,100
WE GOOD.
716
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,867
YEAH -- YEAH.
717
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:56,667
WELL, THEN YOU NEED TO COME
718
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,067
TELL HIM, THEN.
719
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,233
NO -- BABY, I'VE BEEN DEALING
720
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:01,533
WITH IT -- I'VE BEEN DEALING
721
00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,367
WITH HIM ALL DAY.
722
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:03,867
IT'S YOUR TURN.
723
00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:07,467
OKAY. BYE-BYE.
724
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,767
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
725
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,333
SHE ASKED HOW WE WERE DOING.
726
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,167
SO WHAT?
727
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,200
YOU DON'T NEVER TELL A WOMAN
728
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,767
WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG!
729
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,167
AND WHY NOT?
730
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:17,667
DID YOU TEACH THIS BOY
731
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,467
ANYTHING?
732
00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:21,900
MALIK, WOMEN ARE WEAK!
733
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:24,867
THEY'RE NOT AS STRONG AS MEN!
734
00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,333
THEY FALL APART WHEN STUFF
735
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,367
HAPPEN -- THEY'RE A NERVOUS
736
00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,967
WRECK, ESPECIALLY ON A WEDDING
737
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,067
DAY.
738
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,100
POPS, POPS, WHO WAS THAT?
739
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:31,900
WAS THAT MOM?
740
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,400
UH, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
741
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,467
OH, NO -- THEY'RE READY BEFORE
742
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:35,467
WE ARE.
743
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:36,167
IS MIRANDA MAD?
744
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:36,933
THIS -- THIS IS BAD, POPS!
745
00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:37,533
THIS IS BAD!
746
00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:38,867
CHILL OUT!
747
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:41,067
MAN UP, OKAY? MAN UP!
748
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,700
OH, YEAH -- AND WOMEN,
749
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,800
THEY'RE EMOTIONAL AND UNSTABLE,
750
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,400
YEAH.
751
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,767
HI, GUYS.
752
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,433
OH.
753
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,900
LOOK -- C.J., YOU LOOK GREAT.
754
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,533
OH, LOOK AT MY BABY.
755
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,400
[ CURTIS CHUCKLES ]
756
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,700
OH, OH, OH!
757
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,233
OH, CALVIN, YOU LOOK HANDSOME!
758
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,067
CURTIS, DOESN'T HE LOOK GOOD?
759
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,067
I THINK I LOOK PRETTY GOOD,
760
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:04,700
TOO.
761
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,500
YE-- MMM.
762
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,833
ARE YOU READY?
763
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,133
OH.
764
00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:11,300
YEAH, I'M AS READY AS I'LL EVER
765
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,267
BE.
766
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,900
SO, WHAT ABOUT YOUR VOWS?
767
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,733
OH, I GOT THAT COVERED, BIG
768
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:15,333
DOG.
769
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,767
I WROTE A POEM CALLED "FOREVER."
770
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,067
GOOD.
771
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,833
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL -- "FOREVER."
772
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,833
THAT'S GOOD, SWEETIE.
773
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:23,300
OOH -- "FOREVER."
774
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,367
[ LAUGHS ]
775
00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:26,467
IT'S CUTE. THIS IS GREAT. OKAY.
776
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,733
UH, MOM?
777
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:28,400
HMM?
778
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,400
IS EVERYTHING OKAY, 'CAUSE
779
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,867
YOU'RE ACTING STRANGE.
780
00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:31,833
MIRANDA'S OKAY, RIGHT?
781
00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:32,667
SHE -- SHE STILL WANTS TO GET
782
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:33,567
MARRIED, RIGHT?
783
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,667
YES!
784
00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:36,900
MIRANDA IS NEXT DOOR COOL AS A
785
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,300
CUCUMBER.
786
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,733
LOOK, YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE
787
00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:43,067
* ON THEIR WEDDING DAY *
788
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,967
YEAH, SO I HEARD.
789
00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:46,067
OH.
790
00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,567
BUT, LISTEN, JEFFREY HAD A
791
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,267
LITTLE EMERGENCY, SO HE AND
792
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:51,700
JULIA HAVEN'T EVEN ARRIVED YET,
793
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,600
BUT DOES MIRANDA LOVE YOU?
794
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,533
AH!
795
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,200
OH, SHE LOVES YOU, CALVIN, BUT
796
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,067
SHE'S NOT GOING TO GET DRESSED
797
00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,833
UNTIL * THEY GET HERE *
798
00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,700
SO THE WEDDING WILL BE DELAYED.
799
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,900
SEE YOU.
800
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,433
WHOA!
801
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:08,133
OH, GOODNESS
802
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,400
OH!
47351
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof