All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S04E22 - Party Over Here WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:04,793 CALVIN, I'M TELLING YOU, 2 00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:06,965 EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY. 3 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:07,793 HI, EVERYBODY. 4 00:00:07,793 --> 00:00:08,931 HEY. 5 00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:09,931 MIRANDA, WILL YOU STOP TRYING 6 00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,068 TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? 7 00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:12,827 THE WEDDING IS RUINED! 8 00:00:12,827 --> 00:00:14,517 MS. PAYNE, PLEASE HELP ME. 9 00:00:14,517 --> 00:00:16,620 CALVIN, BABY, WHATEVER IT IS, 10 00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:17,724 IT CAN BE FIXED. 11 00:00:17,724 --> 00:00:18,620 NO, IT WON'T. 12 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:19,965 SHE ASKED FOR BAROPPY CRYSTALS 13 00:00:19,965 --> 00:00:21,344 AND THEY GAVE HER RHINESTONES! 14 00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:24,655 MIRANDA, BAROPPY WHAT? 15 00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:26,103 HE'S TALKING ABOUT 16 00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:28,482 BALLENTINE CRYSTALS. 17 00:00:28,482 --> 00:00:31,103 OH, THAT'S NICE. AH! 18 00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:33,068 OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 19 00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:34,344 THEY PUT RHINESTONES ALL OVER 20 00:00:34,344 --> 00:00:35,275 THE GOWN. 21 00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:36,448 CALVIN, RHINESTONES CAN BE 22 00:00:36,448 --> 00:00:37,931 NICE, YOU KNOW? 23 00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:38,862 DIDN'T BEYONCE'S HAVE 24 00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:39,689 RHINESTONES ON HER DRESS WHEN 25 00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:40,965 SHE PERFORMED WITH PRINCE? 26 00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,068 JANINE, YOU'RE NOT HELPING. 27 00:00:42,068 --> 00:00:43,275 AND DO I LOOK LIKE PRINCE? 28 00:00:43,275 --> 00:00:45,793 OOH! OOH! 29 00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:47,172 CALVIN, PLEASE, JUST SIT 30 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,103 DOWN. 31 00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:49,103 RUNNING 'ROUND HERE, 32 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:50,034 CRYING ABOUT SOME DOGGONE 33 00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,482 VALENTINE CRYSTAL AND 34 00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:53,344 RHINESTONES AND DRESSES. 35 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,620 ARE YOU SWITCHING ON ME? 36 00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:57,310 YOU SWITCHING UP? 37 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,103 AT LEAST HER GOWN FITS. 38 00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:01,275 MY TUXEDO IS TOO TIGHT. 39 00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:02,586 AND I'M BLOATED. 40 00:01:02,586 --> 00:01:05,551 I'M CRABBY. I'M TIRED. 41 00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:06,551 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST 42 00:01:06,551 --> 00:01:11,034 OVERWEIGHT. 43 00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:12,000 I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT. 44 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:12,827 YOU WATCH YOURSELF. 45 00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,000 I'M SENSITIVE. 46 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,310 UNCLE, I'M JUST SAYING, HOW 47 00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:16,172 DID YOU GAIN THAT MUCH WEIGHT 48 00:01:16,172 --> 00:01:17,827 SINCE THE LAST FITTING? 49 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:18,827 CURTIS, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO 50 00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:19,724 KNOW, BABY. 51 00:01:19,724 --> 00:01:20,758 SINCE YOUR HEART ATTACK, YOU 52 00:01:20,758 --> 00:01:21,965 WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING 53 00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:22,896 WHAT YOU EAT. 54 00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,206 LOOK, I WISH YOU ALL WOULD 55 00:01:24,206 --> 00:01:25,068 STOP. 56 00:01:25,068 --> 00:01:26,206 I HAVEN'T GAINED ANY WEIGHT. 57 00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:28,000 I AM WATCHING WHAT I EAT, ELLA. 58 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:28,896 YOU'RE WATCHING IT GO FROM 59 00:01:28,896 --> 00:01:31,103 THE PLATE INTO YOUR MOUTH. 60 00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:35,793 SOMEBODY SWITCHED MY TUXEDO. 61 00:01:35,793 --> 00:01:36,896 I DON'T THINK THEY SWITCHED 62 00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:37,827 YOUR TUXEDO. 63 00:01:37,827 --> 00:01:38,965 I THINK YOU'RE JUST GAINING 64 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:39,827 WEIGHT. 65 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:40,793 I THINK YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR 66 00:01:40,793 --> 00:01:41,896 HANDS OFF OF ME. 67 00:01:41,896 --> 00:01:43,517 [ LAUGHS ] 68 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:44,758 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 69 00:01:44,758 --> 00:01:45,758 YOU PEOPLE NEED TO BE A LITTLE 70 00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:47,310 MORE SENSITIVE. 71 00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:48,448 LOOK, I'M TELLING YOU ALL, 72 00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:49,586 I HAVE NOT GAINED ANY WEIGHT. 73 00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:50,620 ALL RIGHT? END OF SUBJECT. 74 00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:52,103 DROP IT. 75 00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:53,206 AND I'M NOT PAYING FOR NO 76 00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,827 ALTERATIONS EITHER. 77 00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:55,724 THEY'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO 78 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,310 REFUND MY DEPOSIT AND WE'RE 79 00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,689 GONNA GET OUT TUXEDOS SOMEWHERE 80 00:01:58,689 --> 00:01:59,344 ELSE. 81 00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:00,379 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HELLO? 82 00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:01,931 IT'S MY WEDDING, NOT YOURS. 83 00:02:01,931 --> 00:02:03,137 AND NOBODY'S GONNA BE LOOKING AT 84 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:04,620 YOU IN YOUR TIGHT LITTLE TUX, 85 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,758 FAT HEAD. 86 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,068 THEY'LL BE LAUGHING AT MY BRIDE 87 00:02:07,068 --> 00:02:08,931 IN HER RHINESTONE GOWN. 88 00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:10,448 BABY, NOW THE PEOPLE SAID 89 00:02:10,448 --> 00:02:11,241 THAT THEY WOULD TAKE ALL THE 90 00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:12,517 RHINESTONES OFF THE DRESS AND 91 00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:13,862 PUT THE BALLENTINE CRYSTALS ON 92 00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:14,965 LIKE I WANT. 93 00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,206 BABY, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 94 00:02:16,206 --> 00:02:17,241 I'LL KNOW THE RHINESTONES WERE 95 00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:18,068 STILL THERE. 96 00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:21,206 UGH! 97 00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:25,241 SON, SON! 98 00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:26,586 I THINK YOU LADIES COULD BE A 99 00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:29,620 LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE. 100 00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,793 LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE. I'M COMING, SON! 101 00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:39,413 I'M COMING, SON! 102 00:02:39,413 --> 00:02:41,620 OH, CALVIN, I CAN'T BELIEVE 103 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:42,758 WE'RE ACTUALLY ABOUT TO GET 104 00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:43,413 MARRIED. 105 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,724 I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE THE 106 00:02:44,724 --> 00:02:46,172 FIRST DAY I MET YOU. 107 00:02:46,172 --> 00:02:47,000 WAIT. 108 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,068 WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU 109 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,344 HUSTLED ME? 110 00:02:49,344 --> 00:02:54,000 BABY! ACTUALLY, THOUGH, HMM. 111 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,034 IT WAS DURING. 112 00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:58,310 YOU KNOW, IT JUST DIDN'T FEEL 113 00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:00,000 THE SAME, SO I KNEW THAT WE WERE 114 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,965 MEANT TO BE. 115 00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,000 MOVE, MOVE. MOVE. 116 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,068 YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME MESS UP. 117 00:03:03,068 --> 00:03:04,137 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE JUST 118 00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:05,758 SO ROMANTIC RIGHT NOW. 119 00:03:05,758 --> 00:03:07,172 LOVE YOU. 120 00:03:07,172 --> 00:03:11,620 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 121 00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,034 BABY, DON'T YOU SEE ME PLAYING 122 00:03:13,034 --> 00:03:14,034 THIS GAME? 123 00:03:14,034 --> 00:03:15,206 YOU GONNA GET THE PHONE? 124 00:03:15,206 --> 00:03:16,551 DON'T YOU SEE ME PLANNING OUR 125 00:03:16,551 --> 00:03:21,103 WEDDING? 126 00:03:21,103 --> 00:03:22,137 HELLO. 127 00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:24,103 WHAT? 128 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:25,103 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 129 00:03:25,103 --> 00:03:26,137 HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? 130 00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:27,241 HE KNOWS I'M GETTING MARRIED IN 131 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,172 TWO WEEKS. 132 00:03:29,172 --> 00:03:31,275 SO WHAT I HAVEN'T BEEN TO CHURCH 133 00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:32,655 IN 19 YEARS. 134 00:03:32,655 --> 00:03:34,586 I'M STILL HURT. 135 00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:35,586 YOU KNOW WHAT? 136 00:03:35,586 --> 00:03:36,448 WHATEVER. WHATEVER. 137 00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:38,344 I NEVER CARED ABOUT HIM ANYWAY. 138 00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:39,931 HOW ABOUT THAT? 139 00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,137 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M HANGING UP. 140 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,034 I'M HANGING UP ON YOU. 141 00:03:42,034 --> 00:03:43,413 I'M HANGING UP. BYE. 142 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:47,068 BABY, WHAT'S GOING ON? 143 00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:49,724 MY SELFISH PASTOR DIED. 144 00:03:49,724 --> 00:03:51,000 AW, BABY. 145 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,034 I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 146 00:03:52,034 --> 00:03:53,000 ARE YOU OKAY? 147 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:53,896 NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? 148 00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:54,758 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S A SIGN. 149 00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:55,620 IT HAS TO BE A SIGN. 150 00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,620 THAT'S WHAT IT IS. 151 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,551 WELL, THEN WHO'S GONNA 152 00:03:57,551 --> 00:03:59,379 PERFORM THE CEREMONY FOR US? 153 00:03:59,379 --> 00:04:00,931 USHER BOY NUMBER FOUR. 154 00:04:00,931 --> 00:04:02,310 OH, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING. 155 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,448 OH, OKAY. 156 00:04:03,448 --> 00:04:05,379 LISTEN, WE WILL WORRY ABOUT THAT 157 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,310 LATER. 158 00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:07,482 BUT WE HAVE SO MANY THINGS 159 00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:08,620 STILL WE NEED TO DO. SO, BABY, 160 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,689 CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 161 00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:10,862 I NEED YOU TO CALL THE CATERER, 162 00:04:10,862 --> 00:04:12,068 AND I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM THE 163 00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:13,275 MENU FOR THE RECEPTION. OKAY? 164 00:04:13,275 --> 00:04:14,655 DON'T YOU SEE ME PLAYING THIS 165 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,862 GAME? 166 00:04:15,862 --> 00:04:16,896 OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? 167 00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:17,827 I'M SO TIRED OF YOU. 168 00:04:17,827 --> 00:04:18,758 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. 169 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,793 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME MESS UP. 170 00:04:21,793 --> 00:04:23,551 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME MESS UP. 171 00:04:23,551 --> 00:04:25,517 HI, HOW ARE YOU? 172 00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:26,517 YES, CAN I PLEASE SPEAK TO 173 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:27,586 VINCENT? 174 00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:28,586 OH, HEY, VINCENT. 175 00:04:28,586 --> 00:04:30,172 YEAH, YEAH. IT'S MIRANDA. 176 00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:31,517 YES. 177 00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:32,413 EVERYTHING'S GOING, YOU KNOW, 178 00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:33,103 PRETTY GOOD. 179 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,862 HA, HA. 180 00:04:34,862 --> 00:04:37,586 ANYWAY, I WANTED TO CALL AND 181 00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:39,655 CONFIRM THAT WE ARE GOING TO GO 182 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,896 WITH THE VEGGIE LASAGNA AND THE 183 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:44,310 CHICKEN MARSALA. MM-HMM. 184 00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:46,034 WHAT? 185 00:04:46,034 --> 00:04:47,379 HOLD ON, ONE SECOND. 186 00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:48,068 HEY, BABE. 187 00:04:48,068 --> 00:04:49,137 SHH, SHH. 188 00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:50,379 NO. NO. NO. 189 00:04:50,379 --> 00:04:51,241 NO. NO. NO. 190 00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:52,103 NO, THIS, RIGHT NOW, THIS IS 191 00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:52,724 IMPORTANT. 192 00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:54,413 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 193 00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:55,724 YOU JUST MADE ME DIE. 194 00:04:55,724 --> 00:04:56,724 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 195 00:04:56,724 --> 00:04:57,862 LOOK. 196 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,103 LISTEN, THERE IS NO CHICKEN. 197 00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:01,034 THEY'RE OUT OF CHICKEN, SO WE 198 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:01,965 CAN'T HAVE CHICKEN MARSALA. 199 00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:03,000 NO. NO. NO. NO. 200 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,413 IT'S A SIGN. IT'S A SIGN. 201 00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:06,310 DEAD PASTORS, A BLACK CATERING 202 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:07,344 COMPANY IS OUT OF CHICKEN, 203 00:05:07,344 --> 00:05:08,827 YOU MADE ME LOSE MY GAME. 204 00:05:08,827 --> 00:05:10,103 IT'S A SIGN. 205 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:11,068 ARE YOU SURE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO 206 00:05:11,068 --> 00:05:14,206 GET MARRIED? 207 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:15,931 VINCENT, LET ME GIVE YOU A 208 00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:20,931 CALL RIGHT BACK, OKAY? 209 00:05:20,931 --> 00:05:22,482 HAVE A SEAT. 210 00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:23,517 COME ON, LET'S SIT DOWN. 211 00:05:23,517 --> 00:05:24,689 COME ON. 212 00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:25,896 FOR ME, PLEASE. 213 00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:27,827 BABY, I THINK WE SHOULD DO 214 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,586 PREMARITAL COUNSELING. 215 00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:31,068 [ SCOFFS ] 216 00:05:31,068 --> 00:05:32,103 YEAH, RIGHT. I'M GONNA PLAY THIS 217 00:05:32,103 --> 00:05:33,793 GAME AGAIN. I KNOW THAT. 218 00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:36,793 GAME AGAIN. I KNOW THAT. YOU WANT ME TO HURT YOU? 219 00:05:36,793 --> 00:05:43,379 YOU WANT ME TO HURT YOU? 220 00:05:43,379 --> 00:05:44,689 HEY, BABY, WHERE'S THE SCALE 221 00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:46,241 AT? 222 00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:47,137 WHAT SCALE, BABY? 223 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,689 WE DON'T HAVE A SCALE. 224 00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:49,896 GET THE MEASURING TAPE. 225 00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:50,827 GET THE MEASURING TAPE AND 226 00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:51,793 MEASURE ME 'CAUSE I THINK I LOST 227 00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:53,241 SOME WEIGHT. 228 00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:55,275 YOU'RE EATING A COOKIE AND 229 00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,758 YOU THINK YOU HAVE LOST SOME 230 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,448 WEIGHT SINCE THIS AFTERNOON? 231 00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:04,896 YES. DON'T BE JEALOUS. 232 00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:06,482 PUT YOUR HAND UP HIGH, BABY. 233 00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:07,482 BABY. 234 00:06:07,482 --> 00:06:08,862 UNH-UNH. 235 00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:12,034 IT'S TOO MUCH. 236 00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:13,758 WHOO, LORD. 237 00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:15,000 UH-OH. 238 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,931 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 239 00:06:15,931 --> 00:06:18,620 OUCH. 240 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:19,620 WOULD YOU QUIT PLAYING? 241 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,172 WHAT DOES IT SAY, WOMAN? 242 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,931 IT SAYS I NEED SOME MORE 243 00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:25,137 TAPE. 244 00:06:25,137 --> 00:06:26,482 WILL YOU QUIT PLAYING AND 245 00:06:26,482 --> 00:06:27,275 COME ON, BABY? 246 00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:28,931 OKAY, OKAY, BABY. 247 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:29,931 WHAT YOU MEASURE THAT FOR? 248 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,931 THAT'S MUSCLE. THAT AIN'T GOING 249 00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:32,000 NOWHERE. 250 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,655 YES, SIR. 251 00:06:33,655 --> 00:06:36,344 OKAY. SPREAD 'EM, SPREAD 'EM. 252 00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:38,206 UNH-UNH, UNH-UNH. 253 00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:39,448 WAIT. 254 00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:42,758 WHAT YOU DOING? 255 00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:44,000 BABY, HOW MUCH DID YOU WEIGH 256 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,241 THIS MORNING? 257 00:06:45,241 --> 00:06:47,413 I DON'T KNOW. 258 00:06:47,413 --> 00:06:49,482 OKAY, CURTIS, HOW DO YOU KNOW 259 00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:51,379 IF YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT IF YOU 260 00:06:51,379 --> 00:06:52,620 DON'T KNOW YOUR ORIGINAL 261 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,862 MEASUREMENTS? 262 00:06:53,862 --> 00:06:55,000 I DON'T NEED MY ORIGINAL. 263 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000 I'M LIGHT ON MY FEET. 264 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,586 I'M LIGHT ON MY FEET. 265 00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,862 RUN, GO GET YOU ANOTHER 266 00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:01,206 COOKIE. 267 00:07:01,206 --> 00:07:03,827 RUN, RUN, RUN! 268 00:07:03,827 --> 00:07:06,310 CALVIN, LISTEN. 269 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:08,034 IT'S A GOOD IDEA. 270 00:07:08,034 --> 00:07:10,655 WHY WON'T YOU? 271 00:07:10,655 --> 00:07:13,689 MS. PAYNE, I'M TRYING TO GET 272 00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:14,758 CALVIN TO GO TO PREMARITAL 273 00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:16,310 COUNSELING, BUT HE WON'T AGREE. 274 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,482 OKAY, CALVIN, WHY NOT? 275 00:07:17,482 --> 00:07:19,172 BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO USE HER 276 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,241 PASTOR, AND I KNOW HE WON'T BE 277 00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:21,551 FAIR TO ME. 278 00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,793 WELL, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 279 00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:25,137 WELL, BECAUSE I USED TO DATE 280 00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:27,655 BOTH OF HIS TWIN DAUGHTERS. 281 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,000 CALVIN, PREMARITAL 282 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,413 COUNSELING IS NECESSARY. 283 00:07:30,413 --> 00:07:32,172 IT WILL GET YOU STARTED OFF ON 284 00:07:32,172 --> 00:07:33,896 THE RIGHT FOOT. 285 00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:34,862 WELL, PERSONALLY, I THINK 286 00:07:34,862 --> 00:07:36,000 IT'S A WASTE OF TIME, BUT SINCE 287 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,137 YOU GUYS KEEP PRESSURING ME, 288 00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:38,517 OKAY, FINE. I'LL DO IT. 289 00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:39,655 BUT IT'S A SIGN. 290 00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:41,172 SHE MADE ME LOSE MY LAST MAN ON 291 00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:43,137 THE GAME, DEAD PASTORS, THEY'RE 292 00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:44,206 OUT OF CHICKEN AND THEY'RE A 293 00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:46,344 BLACK CATERING COMPANY AND, AND 294 00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:47,827 WE ALREADY NEED COUNSELING. 295 00:07:47,827 --> 00:07:50,172 WE ALREADY NEED COUNSELING. IT'S A SIGN. 296 00:07:50,172 --> 00:07:52,206 IT'S A SIGN. 297 00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,655 YOU WILL LOVE GOD. 298 00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:54,758 YOU WILL NEVER GO TO JAIL. 299 00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:55,862 MS. ELLA. 300 00:07:55,862 --> 00:07:57,068 YOU WILL -- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, 301 00:07:57,068 --> 00:08:00,655 MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. 302 00:08:00,655 --> 00:08:01,655 CURTIS! 303 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,827 CURTIS! [ LAUGHTER ] 304 00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:09,931 [ LAUGHTER ] 305 00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:11,862 OKAY, CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING 306 00:08:11,862 --> 00:08:12,689 NOW, BABE? 307 00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:13,517 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 308 00:08:13,517 --> 00:08:14,344 WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M 309 00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,827 DOING? I'M LOSING WEIGHT. 310 00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:16,862 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE 311 00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:18,413 FLOATING OVER A TOP OF A PARADE 312 00:08:18,413 --> 00:08:20,000 OR SOMETHING. 313 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,724 WHERE IS YOUR MESSAGE? 314 00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,448 HA, HA, HA. 315 00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:24,862 BUNCH OF COMEDIANS. 316 00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,172 FUNNY YOU ALL AIN'T MAKING NO 317 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,275 MONEY OFF OF IT. 318 00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:28,482 NO, FOR REAL, UNCLE CURTIS, 319 00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:29,310 YOU'RE REALLY NOT LOSING 320 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:30,137 NO WEIGHT, MAN, YOU'RE JUST 321 00:08:30,137 --> 00:08:31,206 DOING A LOT OF SWEATING. 322 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,758 THAT'S ALL WATER WEIGHT, 323 00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:33,724 UNCLE CURTIS. 324 00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:34,586 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN BURNING ANY 325 00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:35,379 FAT. 326 00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:36,896 LOOK, IT'S A START. 327 00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:38,482 BUT, CURTIS, YOU KNOW ONCE 328 00:08:38,482 --> 00:08:39,689 YOU DRINK WATER, YOU'RE JUST 329 00:08:39,689 --> 00:08:44,137 GONNA SWELL BACK UP. 330 00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:45,896 THEN I WON'T DRINK ANY WATER 331 00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:47,000 EVER, EVER AGAIN. 332 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,275 I WON'T DRINK NO WATER. 333 00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:49,379 MAN, YOU CAN'T JUST STOP 334 00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:50,965 DRINKING WATER. 335 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,517 UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR DIET 336 00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:55,241 AND EXERCISE REGULARLY, YOU'RE 337 00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,310 NOT GOING TO LOSE ANY WEIGHT. 338 00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,758 HA. THAT SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW. 339 00:08:58,758 --> 00:08:59,655 'CAUSE I WENT AND BOUGHT 340 00:08:59,655 --> 00:09:00,965 A SCALE, AND I'VE ALREADY LOST 341 00:09:00,965 --> 00:09:01,931 FIVE POUNDS. 342 00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:02,965 IF YOU NEVER HAD A SCALE 343 00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:04,827 BEFORE, HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH 344 00:09:04,827 --> 00:09:07,000 WEIGHT YOU HAVE LOST? 345 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,827 I JUST KNOW, ELLA. 346 00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:10,000 OKAY? 347 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,034 NOW, Y'ALL CAN MAKE FUN ALL YOU 348 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,000 WANT TO. 349 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,413 YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE GONNA BE 350 00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:14,551 HATING WHEN I'M THE SHARPEST ONE 351 00:09:14,551 --> 00:09:16,655 AT THE WEDDING. 352 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:19,000 THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT RIGHT 353 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,275 NOW, WE JUST WANT TO RIP YOU 354 00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:21,758 OPEN AND SEE HOW MUCH POPCORN 355 00:09:21,758 --> 00:09:23,551 FALLS OUT. 356 00:09:23,551 --> 00:09:24,448 YOU'RE A HATER. 357 00:09:24,448 --> 00:09:26,000 YOU'RE A HATER. YOU A HATER. 358 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:26,862 AND YOU'RE HAVING A LITTLE 359 00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:28,379 HATER. 360 00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:30,000 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 361 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,206 WE DON'T WANT ANY. 362 00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:34,827 CALVIN, WHY DIDN'T YOU OPEN 363 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:39,724 THE DOOR FOR THE PASTOR? 364 00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:42,172 HI, PASTOR JONES, HOW ARE YOU? 365 00:09:42,172 --> 00:09:43,344 WELCOME. 366 00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:44,586 PLEASE COME IN. 367 00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:49,413 THIS IS MY FIANCEÉ, CALVIN. 368 00:09:49,413 --> 00:09:52,965 OH, PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT. 369 00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:55,793 OH, PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 370 00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:58,655 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 371 00:09:58,655 --> 00:10:00,379 SO, YOU KNOW, I'M VERY GLAD 372 00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:01,448 THAT YOU DECIDED TO TAKE THE 373 00:10:01,448 --> 00:10:02,758 NEXT STEP. 374 00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:04,620 YOU KNOW, IT'S NICE TO BUILD A 375 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,758 FOUNDATION, AND YOU'RE A YOUNG 376 00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:07,793 COUPLE. 377 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:10,137 AND SINCE THE AVERAGE PERSON 378 00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:13,344 LIVES TO BE WELL OVER 80, YOU 379 00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:14,241 COULD BE TOGETHER FOR THE NEXT 380 00:10:14,241 --> 00:10:15,310 60 YEARS. 381 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,758 [ COUGHS ] 382 00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:19,413 EXCUSE ME. 383 00:10:19,413 --> 00:10:21,172 DID YOU JUST SAY 60 YEARS? 384 00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:22,896 YES, AND SINCE YOU TWO ARE 385 00:10:22,896 --> 00:10:24,000 TOGETHER, I WOULD JUST LIKE -- 386 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,172 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, 387 00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:26,413 I'M GETTING NAUSEOUS. WAIT. 388 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:27,413 DID THE ROOM JUST GET A LITTLE 389 00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:28,931 SMALLER? 390 00:10:28,931 --> 00:10:35,034 CALVIN, SIT DOWN. 391 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,689 OVER HERE. 392 00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:40,034 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 393 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:41,482 HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? 394 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:42,896 OKAY. SHH, SHH. 395 00:10:42,896 --> 00:10:44,758 WE ACTUALLY MET ABOUT A YEAR AGO 396 00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:45,758 ON A DANCE FLOOR. 397 00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:47,482 WELL, THAT'S GREAT. 398 00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:48,793 THAT MEANS THAT YOU'VE DATED 399 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,379 FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. 400 00:10:50,379 --> 00:10:53,000 WELL, WE DATED FOR ABOUT A 401 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:53,965 WEEK, AND -- 402 00:10:53,965 --> 00:10:57,172 AND THEN SHE ROBBED ME. 403 00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:59,000 EXCUSE ME? 404 00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,724 CALVIN. 405 00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:00,793 WHAT? YOU WANTED THE 406 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:01,758 COUNSELING. I MEAN, HE'S A 407 00:11:01,758 --> 00:11:02,620 PASTOR, A MAN OF GOD. 408 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,586 GO AHEAD AND TELL THE TRUTH. 409 00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:07,000 BE HONEST. 410 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,344 I TOOK ALL THE MONEY OUT OF 411 00:11:08,344 --> 00:11:09,655 HIS BANK ACCOUNTS, AND I TOOK 412 00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:10,931 CASH ADVANCES ON ALL HIS CREDIT 413 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:11,793 CARDS. 414 00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:12,931 WELL, THAT'S NORMALLY WHAT A 415 00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:15,827 WIFE DOES, SON. 416 00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:18,448 BUT I GAVE IT ALL BACK. 417 00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:19,724 NOW, A WIFE DOESN'T DO THAT, 418 00:11:19,724 --> 00:11:21,241 NOW. 419 00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,000 AND, WE'VE BEEN IN LOVE EVER 420 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,758 SINCE. 421 00:11:24,758 --> 00:11:28,000 OH, SO, SINCE WE MENTIONED 422 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,517 MONEY, LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT 423 00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:30,931 FIRST. 424 00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:31,724 DO YOU PLAN ON HAVING JOINT 425 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:32,379 ACCOUNTS? 426 00:11:32,379 --> 00:11:33,517 OH, YES. 427 00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:34,586 NO. 428 00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:35,896 BUT I THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE 429 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:36,655 SEPARATE ACCOUNTS. 430 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,172 AND WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT? 431 00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:39,517 BECAUSE IF WE HAVE JOINT 432 00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:40,620 ACCOUNTS, YOU'LL HAVE ACCESS TO 433 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:41,586 ALL MY MONEY. 434 00:11:41,586 --> 00:11:43,000 [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT MONEY? 435 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,655 SWITCHING SUBJECTS HERE. 436 00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:47,034 DO YOU PLAN TO STAY IN ATLANTA? 437 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,000 YES. 438 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,551 NO. 439 00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,724 NEXT TOPIC. KIDS? 440 00:11:52,724 --> 00:11:54,068 [ BOTH ] YES. 441 00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:54,965 SEE? SEE? 442 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,137 THERE'S SOMETHING WE AGREE ON. 443 00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:58,000 HOW MANY DO YOU WANT? 444 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:58,862 TWO. 445 00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,068 FIVE. 446 00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:01,482 YOU WANT FIVE KIDS? 447 00:12:01,482 --> 00:12:02,551 WHO DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAVE 448 00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:03,862 YOUR FIVE KIDS? 449 00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:04,827 THAT'S ME THAT WOULD HAVE TO 450 00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,000 CARRY THEM FOR NINE MONTHS AND 451 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:06,965 TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT -- 452 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:07,965 NO, SIR. 453 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,206 BUT, BABY, I WANT THE 454 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,551 HUXTABLES. 455 00:12:10,551 --> 00:12:11,379 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 456 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:13,034 THAT IS ON TV. 457 00:12:13,034 --> 00:12:14,137 CLAIRE DIDN'T HAVE ALL THEM 458 00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:15,034 KIDS. 459 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,862 THEY DIDN'T EVEN LOOK ALIKE. 460 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,275 LOOK, I GOT A PLAN. 461 00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:19,758 NOW, TIGER WOODS' DAD GROOMED 462 00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:20,827 HIM TO PLAY GOLF. 463 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,000 AND THE WILLIAMS SISTERS' DAD 464 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,655 MADE THEM TENNIS CHAMPS. 465 00:12:23,655 --> 00:12:25,206 NOW, I'M GONNA MAKE A BAND. 466 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:26,724 IT'S MY JOE JACKSON PLAN. 467 00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:27,827 I DON'T PLAN TO BE BROKE MY 468 00:12:27,827 --> 00:12:29,931 WHOLE LIFE. 469 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:31,448 YOU KNOW WHAT? 470 00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:34,206 YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 471 00:12:34,206 --> 00:12:35,931 WE SHOULDN'T DO THIS. 472 00:12:35,931 --> 00:12:36,896 SEE? SEE? 473 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,068 WE AGREE ON SOMETHING ELSE. 474 00:12:38,068 --> 00:12:40,000 GOOD PASTOR. 475 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,655 I KNEW MARRIAGE COUNSELING WAS A 476 00:12:41,655 --> 00:12:42,689 BAD IDEA. 477 00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:43,655 GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU. 478 00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:44,724 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 479 00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,000 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 480 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,896 THIS MARRIAGE THING, THIS ISN'T 481 00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:49,724 A GOOD IDEA. 482 00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:52,931 A GOOD IDEA. CALVIN, THIS WEDDING IS OFF. 483 00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:58,655 CALVIN, THIS WEDDING IS OFF. 484 00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:00,344 HEY, PASTOR JONES. 485 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,413 HOW ARE YOU? 486 00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,068 WHAT'S GOING ON? 487 00:13:04,068 --> 00:13:05,206 MIRANDA CALLED OFF THE 488 00:13:05,206 --> 00:13:06,068 WEDDING. 489 00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:07,689 WHAT? 490 00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:08,724 MIRANDA CALLED OFF THE 491 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:09,689 WEDDING. 492 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,034 BUT, SISTER ELLA, DON'T YOU 493 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:12,482 WORRY ABOUT A THING. 494 00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:13,965 I'M SURE SHE'S GONNA COME 495 00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,965 AROUND. 496 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:16,793 KEVIN -- 497 00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:20,275 [ BOTH ] CALVIN. 498 00:13:20,275 --> 00:13:21,620 CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE READY FOR 499 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,620 YOUR SECOND SESSION. 500 00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,275 MAN, I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE 501 00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:26,586 YOU AGAIN. GET OUT! 502 00:13:26,586 --> 00:13:28,000 CALVIN! 503 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,517 I'M GONNA CAST THAT DEMON OUT 504 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,482 OF YOU, BOY. 505 00:13:30,482 --> 00:13:31,965 DO NOT TALK TO PASTOR JONES 506 00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:32,793 LIKE THAT. 507 00:13:32,793 --> 00:13:34,034 MAMA, I'M SORRY. 508 00:13:34,034 --> 00:13:35,137 I'M SO SORRY. 509 00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:36,965 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY. 510 00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:42,241 GOD BLESS YOU AND GET OUT. 511 00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:43,413 FORGIVE ME. 512 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:47,068 CALVIN PAYNE, SIT. 513 00:13:47,068 --> 00:13:49,000 WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON WITH 514 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,103 YOU? 515 00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:51,448 NOW, YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT THE 516 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:52,206 CHICKEN. 517 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,103 YOU'VE COMPLAINED ABOUT THE 518 00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:54,931 PASTOR DYING, YOUR VIDEO GAME, 519 00:13:54,931 --> 00:13:57,931 THE COUNSELING. 520 00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,275 ARE YOU NERVOUS? 521 00:13:59,275 --> 00:14:02,758 YEAH. 522 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,413 OH, BABY. 523 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,620 MOM, I JUST NEVER IMAGINED 524 00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:08,551 BEING WITH ONE WOMAN FOR 60 525 00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:09,724 YEARS. 526 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:10,827 I MEAN, IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE 527 00:14:10,827 --> 00:14:11,896 HAPPY FOR THAT LONG? 528 00:14:11,896 --> 00:14:12,931 YES. 529 00:14:12,931 --> 00:14:15,689 LOOK AT ME AND YOUR FATHER. 530 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:19,655 CALVIN, BABY, DO YOU LOVE HER? 531 00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:21,620 YES. 532 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:22,620 ARE YOU GOING TO STAY WITH 533 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:23,482 HER? 534 00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:25,034 YES. 535 00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:26,482 OKAY. 536 00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:27,724 YOU'RE RIGHT. 537 00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:31,137 I CAN'T IMAGINE LIVING WITHOUT 538 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,379 MIRANDA. 539 00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:33,620 I NEED TO FIX IT. 540 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,103 GO. 541 00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:36,965 AND DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, BABY. 542 00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:39,862 AND DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, BABY. THANKS, MOM. 543 00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:42,241 THANKS, MOM. 544 00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:43,586 FIRST OF ALL, I'D LIKE TO THANK 545 00:14:43,586 --> 00:14:44,896 EVERYBODY FOR PARTICIPATING IN 546 00:14:44,896 --> 00:14:45,896 THIS FAMILY MEETING. 547 00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:47,827 NOW, WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN? 548 00:14:47,827 --> 00:14:48,758 WHERE ELSE? 549 00:14:48,758 --> 00:14:49,758 OVER AT TIFFANY AND DESMOND'S. 550 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:50,793 AND, PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THEM 551 00:14:50,793 --> 00:14:52,034 AGAIN 'CAUSE THEY MAY CALL. 552 00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,206 WHERE'S POPS? 553 00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,103 I DON'T KNOW. 554 00:14:54,103 --> 00:14:55,724 SOMEWHERE DOING SOME PILATES. 555 00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:58,103 IN A RIDICULOUS OUTFIT. 556 00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:59,000 COME ON, BABY, COME ON. 557 00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,965 WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT? 558 00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:00,965 IT'S ABOUT MIRANDA CALLING 559 00:15:00,965 --> 00:15:01,965 OFF THE WEDDING. 560 00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:03,758 I DIDN'T KNOW, CALVIN. 561 00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:05,000 I'M SORRY. WHAT HAPPENED? 562 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,068 IT'S A LONG STORY. 563 00:15:06,068 --> 00:15:07,827 LACK OF CHICKENS, DEAD PASTORS, 564 00:15:07,827 --> 00:15:08,931 I CAN'T MAKE MY BAND. 565 00:15:08,931 --> 00:15:10,172 JUST PURE MAYHEM. 566 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:11,551 A BAND? 567 00:15:11,551 --> 00:15:12,379 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 568 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,517 I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A 569 00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:14,896 FIGHT. NO, I'M NOT. 570 00:15:14,896 --> 00:15:16,413 GOOD. CALVIN, WHAT CAN WE 571 00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:17,310 DO TO HELP YOU? 572 00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,793 FIRST OF ALL, JANINE, I NEED 573 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:19,793 YOU TO CHECK ON MIRANDA'S 574 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,586 WEDDING GOWN. 575 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,379 MAKE SURE IT'S PERFECT WITH 576 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,586 THOSE CRYSTAL THINGS AND MORE 577 00:15:22,586 --> 00:15:23,620 BEAUTIFUL THAN SHE COULD HAVE 578 00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:24,758 EVER IMAGINED. 579 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,862 ALL RIGHT? 580 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:27,034 NOW, MOM. 581 00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:28,000 I NEED YOU TO CHECK ON THE 582 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:28,689 FLOWERS. 583 00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:30,344 MAKE SURE THEY ARE PERFECT. 584 00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:31,620 OKAY, GOOD. 585 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,724 C.J., MY MAN -- 586 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:33,620 YES, SIR. 587 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,172 I NEED TO FIND ANYBODY THAT 588 00:15:35,172 --> 00:15:36,137 CAN MAKE CHICKEN MARSALA. 589 00:15:36,137 --> 00:15:37,137 CHICKEN MARSALA. 590 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,241 YES. AND I NEED YOU TO GET 591 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,275 MIRANDA OVER HERE LATER. 592 00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,275 HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT? 593 00:15:40,275 --> 00:15:41,241 MAN, I DON'T KNOW, MAN, JUST 594 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,896 DO IT! 595 00:15:44,896 --> 00:15:45,931 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 596 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,000 COME ON, LET'S GO. 597 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,413 HUT, HUT, HUT. 598 00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:49,275 OH, YOU MEAN NOW. 599 00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:50,310 WAIT, SHE CAN'T HUT TOO FAST. 600 00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,724 I'M HUTTING. 601 00:15:51,724 --> 00:15:52,586 MOVE. 602 00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:53,655 YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE ALL MEAN 603 00:15:53,655 --> 00:15:54,310 ABOUT IT. 604 00:15:54,310 --> 00:15:57,586 HEY, UNCLE CURTIS, IS THAT 605 00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:58,586 ICE CREAM? 606 00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,965 WITH STRAWBERRIES ON TOP? 607 00:16:00,965 --> 00:16:02,034 YES AND YES. 608 00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:04,172 CURTIS, BABY, HOW ARE YOU 609 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,000 SUPPOSED TO LOSE WEIGHT IF 610 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 YOU'RE EATING ICE CREAM? 611 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,103 I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T 612 00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:08,241 CARE! 613 00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:09,758 I'M DEPRESSED. 614 00:16:09,758 --> 00:16:10,896 POP, DON'T WORRY. 615 00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:11,724 ME AND MIRANDA ARE GONNA WORK 616 00:16:11,724 --> 00:16:12,620 OUT THAT WEDDING. 617 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,034 WILL YOU GET AWAY FROM ME, 618 00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:14,758 CALVIN? 619 00:16:14,758 --> 00:16:15,758 NOBODY CARE ABOUT YOU AND THAT 620 00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,000 GIRL'S WEDDING. 621 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,344 I'M DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M 622 00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:22,862 GAINING WEIGHT. 623 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:25,586 I'M BLOATED. 624 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:29,034 I GOT CRAMPS, AND I'M CRANKY. 625 00:16:29,034 --> 00:16:31,827 I'M NEVER CRANKY LIKE THIS. 626 00:16:31,827 --> 00:16:34,655 I JUST DON'T FEEL PRETTY, BABY. 627 00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:37,241 YOU'RE NOT. 628 00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:38,862 AND IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. 629 00:16:38,862 --> 00:16:42,413 ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. 630 00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,896 C.J., YOU ARE THE MAN. 631 00:16:43,896 --> 00:16:45,275 SO, HOW MUCH DID IT COST? 632 00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:46,068 CALVIN! 633 00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:47,379 I'LL CALL YOU BACK. 634 00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:48,758 BABY, WHY AREN'T YOU IN THE 635 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,379 BED? HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 636 00:16:50,379 --> 00:16:51,689 ARE YOU OKAY? 637 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:54,655 I'M NOT TIRED. 638 00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:56,137 C.J. TOLD ME YOU FELL DOWN A 639 00:16:56,137 --> 00:16:58,241 FLIGHT OF STAIRS. 640 00:16:58,241 --> 00:16:59,586 BABY, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE 641 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,965 STAIRS. 642 00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:01,793 YOU KNOW WHAT? 643 00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:02,724 I'M OUT OF HERE. 644 00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:03,724 NO, NO, NO. WAIT. WAIT. 645 00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:04,758 BABY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 646 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,172 SIT DOWN. 647 00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:08,551 YOU DON'T WANT TO SIT BY ME? 648 00:17:08,551 --> 00:17:10,724 NO. 649 00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:12,620 LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO LET 650 00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,931 YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTHING'S TAKEN 651 00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,103 CARE OF. 652 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:17,241 I HAD JANINE GO FIX YOUR DRESS, 653 00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:18,517 AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF IT AND I 654 00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:20,793 AND HERE'S A PICTURE OF IT AND I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT. 655 00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:27,000 DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT. 656 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,655 OH, MY GOODNESS, BABY, IT'S 657 00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,103 BEAUTIFUL. 658 00:17:30,103 --> 00:17:32,793 JUST LIKE YOU. 659 00:17:32,793 --> 00:17:34,965 AND NOT ONLY DID C.J. FIND 660 00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:36,000 SOMEBODY THAT'LL MAKE CHICKEN 661 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,448 MARSALA, BUT THEY'LL PREPARE 662 00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:38,448 EVERYTHING ELSE, TOO. 663 00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:40,310 YOU'VE BEEN BUSY, HUH? 664 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,931 OH, BUT, THAT'S NOT IT. 665 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:43,172 PASTOR JONES IS GONNA PERFORM 666 00:17:43,172 --> 00:17:44,793 THE CEREMONY, AND MY MOM GOT 667 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,172 TWICE THE AMOUNT OF FLOWERS FOR 668 00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:47,862 HALF THE PRICE ALL BECAUSE THE 669 00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:50,793 FLORIST LOVED HER PECAN PIE. 670 00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:54,000 OH. 671 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,413 BABY, YOU ARE GONNA MAKE SUCH A 672 00:17:58,413 --> 00:17:59,724 GREAT HUSBAND. 673 00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:01,172 AND A FATHER OF FIVE. 674 00:18:01,172 --> 00:18:03,172 HMM? 675 00:18:03,172 --> 00:18:04,586 LOOK, BABY, I DON'T CARE IF 676 00:18:04,586 --> 00:18:06,172 WE HAVE ONE CHILD, FIVE 677 00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,034 CHILDREN, OR IF WE ADOPT. 678 00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:09,275 AS LONG AS YOU'RE MY WIFE, 679 00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:10,379 THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. 680 00:18:10,379 --> 00:18:13,689 SO, MIRANDA LUCAS, WILL YOU 681 00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:15,137 STILL BE MY WIFE? 682 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,965 STILL BE MY WIFE? YES. 683 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:19,620 YES. 684 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,206 YES! YES! 685 00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,931 CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING! 686 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,068 [ LAUGHS ] 687 00:18:26,068 --> 00:18:27,206 MOVE, WATCH YOURSELF. 688 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,275 WATCH YOURSELF. 689 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,931 MOVE THAT WAY. 690 00:18:29,931 --> 00:18:32,620 OH! I'M SO HAPPY. 691 00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:35,413 WOW, WORD TRAVELS FAST. 692 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:36,620 SO YOU'RE HAPPY THAT THE 693 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:38,137 WEDDING'S STILL ON? 694 00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,241 NO. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR 695 00:18:39,241 --> 00:18:41,103 WEDDING. 696 00:18:41,103 --> 00:18:43,000 I ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT! 697 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,448 I LOST TWO POUNDS. 698 00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:45,931 TWO POUNDS. 699 00:18:45,931 --> 00:18:49,103 32 OUNCES, 56 GRAMS. 700 00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:51,034 [ LAUGHS ] 701 00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:55,310 WHOO! SO HAPPY. 702 00:18:55,310 --> 00:18:58,482 WHAT WERE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT? 703 00:18:58,482 --> 00:19:00,103 I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD 704 00:19:00,103 --> 00:19:02,758 HAVE A BARBECUE TO CELEBRATE. 705 00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:05,862 WE WOULD DO A FISH FRY. 706 00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:06,931 BAKE OFF. 707 00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:08,310 WE COULD DO A BAKE OFF. 708 00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:08,931 EVERYBODY BAKE SOMETHING. 43008

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