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[ LAUGHING ]
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WHAT?
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OH, THAT'S CRAZY.
4
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IT SAYS HERE, THEY HAD THESE
5
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ROBBERS ROBBED A BANK, AND THEY
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TRIED TO ESCAPE THE POLICE BY
7
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DRIVING INTO A CAR WASH.
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[ LAUGH ]
9
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IS THAT CRAZY?
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THEY DIDN'T THINK THE POLICE
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WAS GONNA GO IN THERE AFTER
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THEM?
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NO, THEY WAS TRYING TO MAKE A
14
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CLEAN GETAWAY.
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[ LAUGH ]
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I SAID THAT. I SAID THAT.
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THAT AIN'T IN THERE.
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HEY, DADDY.
19
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CAN YOU RENT A SCARY MOVIE FOR
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MY SLUMBER PARTY TONIGHT?
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SURE, BABY.
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ANYTHING FOR MY LITTLE BABY
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GIRL.
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WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD UP,
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HOLD UP, HOLD UP.
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DID I HEAR SLUMBER PARTY?
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YEP.
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HERE?
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YEP.
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TONIGHT?
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YEP.
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OH, HELL, NO!
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NO!
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COME ON, UNC, WE ALREADY
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PLANNED IT.
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WELL, THEN UNPLAN IT!
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WHAT YOU HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY
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FOR ANYWAY?
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IT'S NOT HER BIRTHDAY!
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WELL, THIS IS A "JUST
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BECAUSE" SLUMBER PARTY.
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YEAH.
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I'M HAVING IT..."JUST BECAUSE."
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WELL, I DON'T WANT YOU TO
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HAVE IT.
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WHY NOT?
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JUST BECAUSE.
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OKAY, JAZMINE, HERE ARE YOUR
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PINK PILLOWS.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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MOMMY!
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WHAT?
53
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DON'T SIT THEM THERE!
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ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY FIRST
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"JUST BECAUSE" SLUMBER PARTY?
56
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NO.
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I WAS TRYING TO HELP.
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WELL, THEN, PLEASE FOLLOW THE
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LIST OF DO'S AND DON'TS.
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BAM!
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OKAY, SO, NOW, NUMBER ONE --
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DON'T LET OLDER BROTHER, WELL,
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IN THIS CASE, STINKY-FEET MALIK,
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ANYWHERE NEAR THE PARTY.
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OKAY.
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LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE
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AROUND YOUR LITTLE STUPID
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FRIENDS, ANYWAY.
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THEY ALL UGLY.
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EVERY TIME I MENTION YOUR
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NAME, YOU APPEAR!
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NUMBER TWO!
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NUMBER TWO.
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DO HAVE POSTERS OF OMARION,
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CHRIS BROWN, OH, YEAH, AND MY
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BOYFRIEND...
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BOW WOW.
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NUMBER THREE [CHUCKLES]
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DON'T HAVE LITTLE GOOFY GIRLS.
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OH, SORRY.
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YOU CAN'T COME TO YOUR OWN
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PARTY.
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NUMBER FOUR, MALIK, GO TO
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YOUR ROOM.
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OKAY, JAZMINE, I'VE BEEN
86
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THINKING A LOT ABOUT THE GAMES
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FOR YOUR PARTY, AND I HAVE COME
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UP WITH THE PERFECT ONE.
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OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]
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YOU READY?
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YES. I'M READY, I'M READY.
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IT'S FUN. IT'S EASY.
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IT IS GUARANTEED TO GET THE
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PARTY STARTED.
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I'M SO GLAD I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
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I WANT TO PLAY IT MYSELF.
97
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YOU READY?
98
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YEAH! YEAH!
99
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MUSICAL CHAIRS.
100
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OH, THAT'S GREAT!
101
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THAT'S AWESOME!
102
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IT'S SO SIMPLE.
103
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THAT IS SO FIVE YEARS AGO.
104
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NO, IT'S NOT.
105
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IT'S SIMPLE AND IT'S A FUN GAME.
106
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I USED TO PLAY IT.
107
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UH, NO [ CHUCKLES ]
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IT'S CHEAP AND IT'S BORING.
109
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AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING OFF THAT
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EASY.
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ANYWAY, I HAVE TO JUDGE THE
112
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HULA HOOP CONTEST.
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SO -- BAM! -- HERE ARE THE
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RULES.
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OKAY.
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OH, YEAH, AND READ NUMBER
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SIX CAREFULLY.
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FINALLY, YOU'RE BACK!
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YOU'RE WELCOME.
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OKAY, ICE CREAM.
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CHECK.
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OH, "ROLL BOUNCE" CD.
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HEY, BOW WOW -- CHECK.
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DAD, YOU FORGOT THE
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GLOW-IN-THE-DARK LOLLIPOPS.
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BUT I GOT THE GLOW IN THE
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DARK GUM, AND THE
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GLOW-IN-THE-DARK NECKLACES, AND
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THE NAIL POLISH.
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I KNOW, BUT WITHOUT THE
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LOLLIPOPS, IT'S NOT GONNA BE
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PERFECT.
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SWEETHEART, IT'LL BE FINE.
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DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
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YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS WILL BE
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RUNNING AROUND HERE SCREAMING,
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BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS IN NO
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TIME.
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WELL, THAT DOES SOUND FUN.
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SOUNDS LIKE I NEED SOMEPLACE
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TO HIDE.
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YOU SHOULD STAY,
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UNCLE CURTIS, IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
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STAY FOR WHAT, C.J.?
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I'M NOT GONNA STAY HERE IN MY
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HOUSE, 'CAUSE IT'S GONNA BE
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00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,933
INVADED BY A BUNCH OF
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8- AND 9-YEAR-OLD LITTLE GIRLS.
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BOY-CRAZY, GERM-CARRYING, AND
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FAST-TALKING BUSYBODIES.
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RUNNING ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE.
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IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT BAD.
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THEY'RE REALLY LITTLE ANGELS.
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SO WAS LUCIFER...
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UNTIL HIS DAUGHTER HAD A SLUMBER
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PARTY.
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WHO'S LUCIFER?
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YOUR GRANDFATHER,
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UNCLE CURTIS' DAD.
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UNH!
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THAT'S A FINE YOUNG LADY RIGHT
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THERE!
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BOY, COME PAYDAY, SHE CAN GET
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ALL MY CHECK.
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YEAH, ALL $72.
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YOU KNOW THAT YOUNG GIRL WOULD
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GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK.
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CLEAR!
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THEN CLEAR OUT YOUR BANK
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ACCOUNT.
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LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO
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YOU YOUNG'UNS.
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SEE, ABOUT THAT PRETTY-GIRL
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THING -- IT'S NOT THAT THEY'RE
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UNAPPROACHABLE.
176
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IT'S JUST THAT THEY'RE NOT
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APPROACHED.
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YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
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00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:16,767
YOU GOT TO BE ABLE TO GO AND
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00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,567
FACE REJECTION SOMETIME.
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00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:19,733
BUT, SEE, IF YOU DON'T GET
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00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:20,500
REJECTED, THEN YOU GET THE
183
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,200
PRETTY GIRL.
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THAT'S HOW I GET MY PRETTY
185
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GIRLS.
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00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:24,067
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL
187
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,233
YOU TALKING ABOUT, BUT IS THAT
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00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,100
HOW YOU GOT VERNITA?
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00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,533
VERNITA'S NOT A PRETTY GIRL.
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SHE WAS MY PROBATION OFFICER.
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SOME PLEA-BARGAIN BETWEEN SOME
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PEANUT BUTTER, LUNCH MEAT, AND
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00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:35,467
SOME HANDCUFFS.
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00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:36,600
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER WHOLE STORY.
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LOOK, THERE ARE A LOT OF PRETTY
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WOMEN THAT ARE HOME ALONE ON
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SATURDAY NIGHTS.
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00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,933
OH, THAT EXPLAINS WHY KIKI IS
199
00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,600
ALWAYS OUT ON SATURDAY NIGHTS.
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[ LAUGHS ]
201
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WITH YOUR MAMA.
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HEY!
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HEY, WHAT'S UP, MAN?
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I REMEMBER YOU!
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00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,533
YOU CAME IN HERE ON YOUR WEDDING
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DAY TO GET YOUR HAIR CUT, RIGHT?
207
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,567
YEP.
208
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STERLING.
209
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,133
YEAH.
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YEAH, YOU TRIED TO CUT YOUR
211
00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:04,133
OWN HAIR.
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00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:05,067
YOU CAME IN HERE, AND IT WAS
213
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,767
JACKED UP!
214
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,600
YEAH. YEAH.
215
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,133
BUT KIKI HOOKED A BROTHER UP.
216
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:10,467
HEY, CAN YOU GIVE ME A LINE UP?
217
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I GOT YOU NEXT.
218
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,533
ALL RIGHT. COOL.
219
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:13,267
WOW!
220
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:14,400
IT ALL GREW BACK.
221
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,867
[ CHUCKLES ]
222
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:18,267
SO, TELL ME, HOW'S, STERLING,
223
00:06:18,267 --> 00:06:19,267
HOW'S MARRIED LIFE TREATING YOU,
224
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BROTHER?
225
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,233
OH, MAN, IT WAS GREAT FOR A
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00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:22,267
WHILE.
227
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MAN, WE WAS ROLLING.
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00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:27,500
WE HAD LIKE, A NEW HOUSE, PLASMA
229
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,267
TV.
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00:06:28,267 --> 00:06:29,067
WOW.
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00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:30,600
NEW CARS.
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00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,100
THEN I LOST MY JOB.
233
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:32,767
OH.
234
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:33,500
AWW.
235
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:34,933
WHAT HAPPENED?
236
00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,367
THEY ACCUSED ME OF STEALING.
237
00:06:36,367 --> 00:06:38,100
OH.
238
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,867
HOW MUCH DID YOU STEAL?
239
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,333
SEE, WHEN YOU SAY "STEALING,"
240
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:43,967
STEALING IS LIKE CONTINUOUS,
241
00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:46,133
YOU KNOW, ONGOING.
242
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:48,833
I ONLY STOLE ONE TIME.
243
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,333
I'M A STOLER.
244
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:51,833
NOT A STEALER.
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00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,133
OKAY, THEN, SO, WHAT DID
246
00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:56,200
YOU STOLE?
247
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,600
[ SPLUTTERING ]
248
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,733
LIKE A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS.
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00:07:00,733 --> 00:07:02,433
OH, THAT AIN'T NOTHING.
250
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:03,767
MAYBE A COUPLE THOUSAND
251
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,267
DOLLARS.
252
00:07:05,267 --> 00:07:06,667
MAYBE A COUPLE HUNDRED THOUSAND
253
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DOLLARS.
254
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:09,500
MAYBE I TOOK A COUPLE HUNDRED
255
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,933
THOUSAND DOLLARS, PUT IT IN A
256
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:12,333
BAG, PUT IT IN MY BOSS' CAR,
257
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,833
STOLE THAT, TOO.
258
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:16,667
YOU GOOD TO BE HERE.
259
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,100
DOCTORS SAY I GOT A PROBLEM,
260
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:18,767
MAN, YOU KNOW.
261
00:07:18,767 --> 00:07:19,967
HEY, HEY, YO.
262
00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:20,933
I JUST SAID I GOT A PROBLEM.
263
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:21,933
THESE ARE SOME NICE CHECKERS.
264
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I LIKE THESE.
265
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,067
AND I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP
266
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:25,900
THEM, TOO.
267
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:26,833
[ LAUGHS ]
268
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:27,700
COULD YOU STAND OVER HERE FOR A
269
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:28,800
SECOND, PLEASE?
270
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,600
RIGHT OVER HERE?
271
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,500
YEAH, YEAH -- RIGHT HERE.
272
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,300
ALL RIGHT.
273
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,400
YOU IN "STOLE" TIMEOUT. OKAY?
274
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,067
STAY RIGHT THERE.
275
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:36,067
WAN TO BE ABLE TO WATCH YOU,
276
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:36,900
OKAY?
277
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,967
ALL RIGHT. DON'T MOVE.
278
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:43,467
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
279
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,833
[ PEPPY THEME MUSIC PLAYING ]
280
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,500
[ LAUGHS ]
281
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:58,167
HEY, UNCLE CURTIS.
282
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,167
WHAT YOU DOING, MAN?
283
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:04,267
PLAYING THE SLOTS IN VEGAS.
284
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:05,567
UNCLE CURTIS, YOU KNOW,
285
00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:07,567
YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING REALLY NICE,
286
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:10,167
AND YOU -- YOU SMELL GOOD.
287
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:13,567
IS THAT A NEW COLOGNE?
288
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:16,833
YEAH, IT'S CALLED FUNKY.
289
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:20,267
BY DIDDY P.
290
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,433
OKAY. OKAY.
291
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:22,533
WHAT DO YOU TWO WANT?
292
00:08:22,533 --> 00:08:23,900
WHY ARE YOU HOVERING OVER ME?
293
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:24,967
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
294
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:27,100
UM, WE WAS JUST WONDERING
295
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:27,900
IF...
296
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,067
NO, I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.
297
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,067
I SAW IT IN YOUR EYES.
298
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,167
YOU'VE BEEN SETTING ME UP ALL
299
00:08:32,167 --> 00:08:32,833
THIS TIME.
300
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:33,600
I KNEW IT.
301
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,700
I AM NOT WATCHING THOSE KIDS!
302
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:35,367
YOU HEARD ME?
303
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:36,200
COME ON, UNC, JUST FOR A
304
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,567
MINUTE, MAN.
305
00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:38,733
I GOT TO GET THE CAKE.
306
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:39,633
AND SHE'S GOT TO RUN AND GET
307
00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:41,133
JAZMINE'S, YOU KNOW, GIFTS.
308
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:42,367
YEAH.
309
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:44,067
WHY DON'T YOU GO GET THE CAKE
310
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,233
AND PICK UP THE GIFT?
311
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,967
THEN JANINE CAN STAY AND WATCH
312
00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:47,633
THE KIDS.
313
00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:48,867
BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST HIM TO
314
00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,133
GET A NICE GIFT.
315
00:08:50,133 --> 00:08:51,267
BESIDES, HE'LL TAKE TOO LONG.
316
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:52,233
YOU KNOW HOW YOU MEN ARE.
317
00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:53,467
BY THE TIME HE GETS BACK, THE
318
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:54,600
KIDS WILL BE SOUND ASLEEP.
319
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,933
YEAH, AND, I GOT TO GO ALL
320
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:56,867
THE WAY ACROSS TOWN FROM WHERE
321
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:59,167
SHE IS TO GET THE CAKE.
322
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:00,467
I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.
323
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:01,367
I KNEW IT WAS.
324
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:02,433
LISTEN, I'M TELLING YOU THIS
325
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:03,100
RIGHT NOW.
326
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,267
I SWEAR, I PROMISE YOU.
327
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,567
YOU GOT ONE HOUR. ONE HOUR.
328
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:07,867
IF YOU'RE NOT BACK IN ONE HOUR,
329
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:08,967
I'M GOING IN THAT ROOM.
330
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:10,267
I'M GONNA LOCK MYSELF IN THERE,
331
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:11,100
AND WHATEVER HAPPENS IN HERE,
332
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:11,767
HAPPENS.
333
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,233
YOU GOT ONE HOUR.
334
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,867
ONE HOUR -- IF YOU AIN'T BACK,
335
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:16,200
I'M GONNA GO IN THAT ROOM AND
336
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,267
LOCK MYSELF --
337
00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:18,967
YEAH, WHATEVER. WHATEVER.
338
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,133
THANKS, UNC. THANK YOU.
339
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:22,700
LOVE YOU, MAN.
340
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:23,833
WATCHING NO KIDS.
341
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:24,700
SICK OF Y'ALL.
342
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:27,667
BUSY AS I AM -- I'M A BUSY MAN!
343
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,800
GOT MORE THINGS TO DO THAN SIT
344
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,067
UP AND WATCH KIDS.
345
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:33,167
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
346
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:34,200
YAY! THEY'RE HERE!
347
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:34,867
THEY'RE HERE!
348
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:35,533
Shh!
349
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,867
THEY'RE HERE, WAKE UP!
350
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:37,733
THERE AIN'T NOBODY HERE.
351
00:09:37,733 --> 00:09:38,533
WAKE UP.
352
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:39,467
AIN'T NOBODY ASLEEP.
353
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:40,500
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
354
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,667
GO! GET THE DOOR!
355
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:43,733
DELIRIOUS THING, GET OFF ME.
356
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,167
OOH, I CAN'T STAND Y'ALL
357
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:47,467
SOMETIMES!
358
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:48,500
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
359
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,500
HOLD YOUR PONYTAIL!
360
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:59,100
WHAT YOU WANT?
361
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,733
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
362
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:01,567
OH, LOOK AT 'EM.
363
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,300
LOOK AT ALL THE LITTLE GIRLIES!
364
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,133
ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN.
365
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:06,867
WE GOT RED, YELLOW, BLACK, AND
366
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:07,800
GREEN.
367
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,767
ALL THE PRECIOUS KIDS IN SIGHT.
368
00:10:09,767 --> 00:10:10,800
WHERE Y'ALL GOING?
369
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,967
AIN'T YOU GONNA CHAPERONE THE
370
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,967
KIDS?
371
00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:21,200
LOOK, AIN'T NOBODY IN HERE.
372
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:21,833
ALL RIGHT?
373
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:22,767
IT AIN'T GONNA TAKE NO TIME FOR
374
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:23,433
ME TO GET A HAIRCUT.
375
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:24,300
THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.
376
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,233
WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING
377
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,300
READY FOR THE PARTY.
378
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,667
WE TOLD UNCLE CURTIS WE WOULD BE
379
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:28,400
RIGHT BACK.
380
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,333
WHAT'S UP, C.J.?
381
00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:30,300
JANINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
382
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,200
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT
383
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:31,967
LIL' BIT'S PARTY?
384
00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:33,000
YES.
385
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,167
WE'RE GOING RIGHT BACK THERE
386
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,133
AS SOON AS I GET A CUT.
387
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:35,967
DELANTE, CAN YOU HOOK ME UP,
388
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:36,700
MAN?
389
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,333
LET'S DO IT.
390
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,733
GOOD LUCK.
391
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,033
[ Sighing ] OH.
392
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,333
WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK
393
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:45,200
YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY
394
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,233
PROBLEMS, GUYS.
395
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:47,567
OH, IT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?
396
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:48,733
THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR.
397
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:49,500
YEAH.
398
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:50,533
HEY, YOU GET A LITTLE
399
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:51,867
SOMETHING OFF YOUR HEAD AND GET
400
00:10:51,867 --> 00:10:52,867
A LOT OFF YOUR CHEST.
401
00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:54,633
YEAH, MAN.
402
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,533
YEAH, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.
403
00:10:56,533 --> 00:10:58,167
THAT'S WHY IT PAINS ME TO ROB
404
00:10:58,167 --> 00:10:59,200
YOU.
405
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,267
NO!
406
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,067
WHY YOU GONNA ROB US?
407
00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,500
ARE YOU CRAZY?!
408
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,900
YEAH, I MEAN, COME ON,
409
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,400
BROTHER, WHEN ARE WE GONNA STOP
410
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,900
THIS BLACK-ON-BLACK CRIME?
411
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,933
YOU AIN'T BLACK.
412
00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:16,467
I'M HALF-BLACK.
413
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,467
WELL, I'LL JUST SHOOT THE
414
00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:19,600
OTHER HALF.
415
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,500
LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT WE WAS
416
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,233
COOL!
417
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,267
OH, MY BAD, MY BAD!
418
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,067
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
419
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:23,833
NOW, SIT HER DOWN, NOW,
420
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,867
AL B. SHORT.
421
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,633
HEY, LOOK, LOOK, ALL RIGHT?
422
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:31,600
I'D RATHER ROB FRIENDS THAN
423
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,800
STRANGERS.
424
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,633
BESIDES, I COULD WIND UP GETTING
425
00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:37,467
HURT.
426
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,067
PLUS, I FIGURED, YOU KNOW, WITH
427
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,833
YOU GUYS, IT WOULD BE OKAY.
428
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,500
MAN, YOU BETTER BE GLAD I LET
429
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,833
MY GRANDMA BORROW MY NINE THIS
430
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,300
WEEK.
431
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,800
'CAUSE IF YOU HAD CAME THROUGH
432
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,733
LAST WEEK, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN
433
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:51,467
YOUR LAST WEEK.
434
00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:52,567
LOOK, MAN, WE CAN WORK THIS
435
00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:53,267
OUT.
436
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:54,467
FLOYD ALWAYS CARRIES $300 TO
437
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:55,400
$400 IN HIS WALLET.
438
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,500
[ ALL TALKING ]
439
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,733
YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
440
00:11:58,733 --> 00:11:59,767
OKAY, OKAY, MATTER OF FACT.
441
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,833
I NEED EVERYBODY TO GIVE ME ALL
442
00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:04,067
OF YOUR MONEY, YOUR WALLETS, AND
443
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:04,967
YOUR CELL PHONES.
444
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,133
LET'S GO. COME ON.
445
00:12:06,133 --> 00:12:07,433
COME ON, IN THE BAG.
446
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:08,267
LIKE KINDERGARTEN.
447
00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:09,633
PUMP, PUMP, PASS, LET'S GO.
448
00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:11,467
MATTER OF FACT, THE LITTLE
449
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:12,933
ONE ON THE END, SHE KEEP MORE ON
450
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,133
HER LEFT SIDE THAN THE RIGHT
451
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,500
SIDE ON HER CHEST.
452
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,633
OKAY, COOL.
453
00:12:16,633 --> 00:12:18,167
THANKS A LOT, CALVIN.
454
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,333
WHAT? HE'S ROBBING US.
455
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:20,367
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT -- FOR HIM
456
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:22,300
TO TAKE OUR BLOOD?
457
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,167
PLEASE DON'T GIVE HIM ANY
458
00:12:23,167 --> 00:12:24,200
MORE SUGGESTIONS.
459
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,667
SHE GOT A BABY.
460
00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,300
HEY, HEY, HEY, MAN!
461
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,600
I NEED YOUR CELL PHONE NOW.
462
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,500
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU.
463
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,733
I JUST NEED TO CALL MY UNCLE AND
464
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:33,633
LET HIM KNOW WE'RE GONNA BE A
465
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:34,300
LITTLE LATE.
466
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,300
WE GOT AN EMERGENCY.
467
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,467
ALL RIGHT, MAN, IF YOU DON'T
468
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:37,867
GIVE ME THAT CELL PHONE, PUT THE
469
00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:39,800
CELL PHONE IN THE BAG!
470
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,600
I NEED TO CALL MY UNCLE!
471
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,967
MAN, ARE YOU CRAZY?
472
00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:44,200
I'M NOT A KILLER, BUT DON'T PUSH
473
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,067
ME, ALL RIGHT?
474
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:46,200
YOU CAN'T SEE ME RIGHT NOW.
475
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,300
I'M LIKE A WHISPER IN THE WIND.
476
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,400
LET'S GO.
477
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,833
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A NO.
478
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:50,833
OH, DON'T THINK I FORGOT,
479
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:51,667
EITHER.
480
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,067
COME ON, PASS THE MONEY ON THE
481
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:55,067
LEFT-HAND SIDE -- LET'S GO.
482
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,100
OOH, WHAT'S THIS -- LAVENDER?
483
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:16,133
HEY, IS EVERYBODY READY FOR A
484
00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:17,100
BEDTIME STORY?
485
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:17,933
BEDTIME?
486
00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:21,800
All: YAY!
487
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,600
HIT THE LIGHT.
488
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,567
OOH!
489
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:29,667
OKAY.
490
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,667
OH, HERE WE GO.
491
00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:42,700
ONCE UPON A TIME...
492
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,133
IN A LAND FAR, FAR AWAY,
493
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:49,800
ONE STORMY, COLD, WINTER,
494
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,867
SUMMERY NIGHT...
495
00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:56,267
THIS WICKED, EVIL HUNCHBACK
496
00:13:56,267 --> 00:14:00,200
EVIL GREEN WITCH WOMAN NAMED
497
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:00,900
CLARETHA...
498
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,600
[ HOWLING ]
499
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,767
I MET HER. SHE IS SCARY.
500
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:10,500
YEAH.
501
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:14,700
AND HER WIGS ARE EVEN SCARIER.
502
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:18,633
SHE COMES IN, UNASSUMING.
503
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:19,833
WALKING THROUGH THE WALLS AND
504
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:21,367
COMING UP THROUGH THE FLOORS!
505
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:24,100
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
506
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,667
AND THERE SHE IS!
507
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:29,600
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
508
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,633
THAT IS NOT SCARY.
509
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:33,567
HOW ABOUT IF I PUNCH YOU IN
510
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:37,200
THE FACE?
511
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,200
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
512
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,100
[ COUGHING ]
513
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,067
MAN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
514
00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:48,733
LEAVE?
515
00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:49,633
YOU HAVE ALL OUR STUFF!
516
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:50,600
WE DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR
517
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:51,800
NAME.
518
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,767
YEAH, STERLING, WHY DON'T YOU
519
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,300
JUST...
520
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:57,700
I MEAN ROBERT.
521
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,667
WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME?
522
00:14:58,667 --> 00:14:59,433
YOUR WIFE MIGHT BE AT HOME
523
00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:01,067
COOKING A NICE HOT MEAL FOR YOU.
524
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,633
JUST GO HOME.
525
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:05,867
I AIN'T GOT NO HOME TO GO TO.
526
00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:06,900
[ Voice breaking ] MY WIFE LEFT
527
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,467
ME.
528
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,500
WELL, WHY DID SHE LEAVE YOU,
529
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,633
BRO?
530
00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:12,333
BEING BROKE WAS JUST TOO MUCH
531
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:14,233
FOR HER, I GUESS.
532
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,067
[ CRYING ]
533
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:17,567
I LOVED THAT WOMAN!
534
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:18,800
I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR CRAZY
535
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,133
ASS, TOO.
536
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,667
SHE WAS THE BEST THING TO
537
00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:27,500
EVER HAPPEN TO ME!
538
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:34,200
EVER. I'M SO SERIOUS.
539
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,600
HEY, GET THE PREGNANT LADY UP,
540
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,767
MAN.
541
00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:39,233
HER WATER MIGHT BREAK.
542
00:15:39,233 --> 00:15:41,633
YOU OKAY?
543
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:42,433
THANK YOU.
544
00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:44,400
OKAY. COOL.
545
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,267
HEY, THIS IS ATLANTA.
546
00:15:46,267 --> 00:15:47,533
YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND ANOTHER WIFE
547
00:15:47,533 --> 00:15:48,400
HERE.
548
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,333
THERE'S A LOT OF WOMEN.
549
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,333
A LOT OF WOMEN?
550
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,600
YEAH. YEAH.
551
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,267
OR, YOU KNOW, IF YOU REALLY WANT
552
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:55,200
TO BE WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOU
553
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:55,933
LOVE HER, YOU KNOW,
554
00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:57,067
RELATIONSHIPS ARE TOUGH.
555
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,067
YOU SHOULD CHASE HER.
556
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:58,767
LET HER KNOW.
557
00:15:58,767 --> 00:15:59,733
YEAH, SHE'S PROBABLY JUST
558
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:00,567
SCARED.
559
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,133
YOU SHOULD GO AND FIND HER AND
560
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,533
LET HER KNOW THAT YOU LOVE HER
561
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:04,700
AND THAT YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE
562
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,067
CARE OF HER, AND THAT YOU CAN
563
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:06,833
WORK IT OUT.
564
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,867
EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES, RIGHT?
565
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:09,633
THAT'S RIGHT.
566
00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:15,233
TRUST HER. SHE KNOWS.
567
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,967
HEY, YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.
568
00:16:16,967 --> 00:16:19,267
I LOVE HER, AND, I'VE INVESTED
569
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:20,500
TOO MANY YEARS WITH HER JUST TO
570
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,467
LET HER GO LIKE THAT.
571
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:23,367
YEAH.
572
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:24,367
ALL RIGHT.
573
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:26,433
Y'ALL, HE'S HURTING.
574
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:27,200
YES.
575
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,133
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST HURTING.
576
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:28,833
DELANTE, GET UP.
577
00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,133
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
578
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,633
YO, WHAT I'M GONNA DO, I'M GONNA
579
00:16:31,633 --> 00:16:32,767
GIVE YOU MY EXTRA SPECIAL LINE
580
00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:33,533
UP.
581
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:35,567
THE EXTRA SPECIAL. OH, MAN.
582
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,767
HAVE A SEAT.
583
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:37,733
OH, MAN, I ALWAYS DREAMED OF
584
00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:38,400
EXTRA SPECIAL.
585
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,533
YEAH, YEAH.
586
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:40,400
THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME
587
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,067
TRUE.
588
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:41,867
NOW GIVE ME THAT.
589
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,067
WELL, YOU WANT MY GUN? OKAY.
590
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:43,867
YOU DON'T NEED THAT.
591
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:44,667
OH, MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE
592
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,300
GREAT.
593
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,567
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
594
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:51,433
WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST.
595
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:52,767
NO, SHE'S THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN
596
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:53,667
ALL BY HERSELF.
597
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:54,833
LOOK!
598
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:55,833
MATTER OF FACT, YOU GO AND CALL
599
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:56,700
911.
600
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:57,400
OKAY.
601
00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:58,167
NOT 199.
602
00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,567
911.
603
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:00,400
GO!
604
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,833
THE PHONE IS OVER HERE.
605
00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:03,433
SHE'LL FIND ONE.
606
00:17:03,433 --> 00:17:05,633
HEY, HEY, GUYS, LISTEN, I
607
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:06,700
WASN'T GONNA ROB YOU.
608
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:07,767
I WAS JUST PLAYING.
609
00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:09,067
TELL THAT TO THE POLICE.
610
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:12,067
OH, MAN. HEY, LISTEN, LISTEN.
611
00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:13,233
CAN YOU STILL GIVE ME THE LINE
612
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,400
UP?
613
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,367
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO TO
614
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,767
PRISON LOOKING LIKE THIS.
615
00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:17,767
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GONNA
616
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:18,600
BE LOOKING AT YOUR LINE UP IN
617
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,400
PRISON.
618
00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:33,300
OH, THEY LOOK SO CUTE.
619
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,767
OH, LOOKIT.
620
00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:37,467
[ GULPS ]
621
00:17:37,467 --> 00:17:39,433
UNCLE CURTIS.
622
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:42,733
[ SNORTS ]
623
00:17:42,733 --> 00:17:44,433
[ SIGHS ]
624
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:48,900
UNCLE CURTIS.
625
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,567
UNCLE CURTIS.
626
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:52,333
CLARETHA, GET OUT! GET OUT!
627
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:53,333
UNCLE CURTIS, IT'S ME.
628
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,467
IT'S ME. IT'S ME.
629
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:55,300
YOU WERE DREAMING.
630
00:17:55,300 --> 00:18:00,200
YOU'RE DREAMING.
631
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,867
DREAM ABOUT WHUPPING YOUR
632
00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:03,500
BEHIND.
633
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,533
WE'RE REALLY -- [ CHUCKLES ]
634
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,067
WE'RE SORRY LATE, UNCLE CURTIS.
635
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,067
BUT YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT
636
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:09,067
HAPPENED TO US TONIGHT.
637
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:09,867
YEAH, YEAH, WE WENT TO THE
638
00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:10,567
BARBERSHOP AND --
639
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,567
[ GRUNTING ]
640
00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,733
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
641
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:20,300
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, C.J.
642
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,200
OKAY?
643
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,867
NOW, DON'T -- DON'T SHUSH ME.
644
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,433
NOW, I'M SO MAD, I'M SO ANGRY
645
00:18:25,433 --> 00:18:26,467
WITH YOU RIGHT NOW, I COULD DO
646
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,467
SOMETHING I MIGHT REGRET THE
647
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:28,233
REST OF MY LIFE.
648
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,133
THERE'S TOO MANY WITNESSES IN
649
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:31,500
HERE.
650
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:32,633
NOW, I'M GOING TO BED.
651
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,633
GOOD NIGHT.
652
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,067
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE ALL THE
653
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:42,367
KIDS ARE ASLEEP, SO MAYBE WE CAN
654
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:43,500
GET A COUPLE OF HOURS IN BEFORE
655
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:44,433
THEY WAKE UP.
656
00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:45,400
OH, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.
657
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,400
I AM BEAT.
658
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,367
Good night, baby girl.
659
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:50,533
UH, JANINE, C.J.?
660
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:51,267
YEAH.
661
00:18:51,267 --> 00:18:52,133
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU
662
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:52,867
SOMETHING.
663
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:54,133
WHAT'S THAT?
664
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,967
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
665
00:18:56,967 --> 00:19:01,367
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
666
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:02,700
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
667
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,067
IT'S JUST UNCLE CURTIS.
668
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:07,067
HE'S SCARIER THAN ANYBODY!
669
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:09,067
THAT'S TRUE.
40123
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