Original subtitles

I'M GOING TO GET HIM

RIGHT HERE!

[C.J. YELLS]

HE'S RIGHT HERE --

AAH!

HE'S TRYING TO --

[IMITATES LASER]

[C.J. SCREAMS]

I GOT HIM, I GOT HIM!

I GOT HIM, BABY!

I GOT YOU FIRST.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YOU WAS DEAD.

I KNOW -- WE GOT EVERYTHING

FOR MALIK'S PARTY.

[CURTIS LAUGHS]

WE GOT HOTDOGS, WE GOT -- WE GOT

HAMBURGERS, WE GOT ICE CREAM,

AND WE GOT THE LASER TAG.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW THE KIDS

GOING TO LOVE THE LASER TAG.

I DON'T KNOW WHY -- THESE

THINGS AIN'T NOTHING BUT

OVERPRICED FLASHLIGHTS.

IS THAT RIGHT?

WELL, THEN WHY WERE Y'ALL UP

PLAYING WITH THEM ALL NIGHT?

WE HAD TO BREAK THEM IN --

DUH!

HERE YOU GO.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY WISH LIST.

I WANT THE PEPPERMINT.

WHAT DO YOU NEED WITH A CELL

PHONE THAT HAS A -- A VIDEO

CAMERA ON IT, G.P.S., AND A --

A 10-MEGAPIXEL CAMERA?

WHAT?

BECAUSE IT'S COOL.

MALIK, GET OVER HERE.

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU "COOL."

KIDS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT

"COOL" IS.

WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

A HOUSE PHONE?

NOT!

"A HOUSE PHONE"?

THIS IS MORE THAN A HOUSE PHONE,

SON.

YOU CAN CRACK NUTS WITH IT.

NOT ONLY DOES IT RECEIVE AND

YOU CAN MAKE CALLS ON IT, BUT

YOU CAN USE IT IF SOMEBODY'S

INTRUDING -- ACT LIKE YOU GOING

TO BREAK IN.

LET'S SAY YOU'RE HERE AT THE

HOUSE ALL BY YOURSELF, ME AND

YOUR AUNTIE'S IN PANAMA

SOMEWHERE ENJOYING OURSELVES,

YOUR DADDY LOOKING FOR YOUR MAMA

AT THE CRACK HOUSE.

SO YOU'RE HERE BY YOURSELF,

AIN'T NOBODY HERE, AND ALL

OF A SUDDEN, YOU AND JAZZY JUST

WATCHING TV, JUST WATCHING, AND

WHO -- "OOH, THERE'S SOMEBODY

HERE!"

CRACK!

OH!

CRACK!

NOW, THAT'S COOL.

SEE?

THAT STYLE OF PHONE DO

EVERYTHING.

YOU DON'T NEED NO NEW ONE.

[ELLA and C.J. LAUGH]

OK, WELL, MY REASONS FOR

WANTING A CELL PHONE ARE MUCH

MORE PRACTICAL.

JAZMINE, IT'S NOT YOUR

BIRTHDAY AND YOU'RE TOO YOUNG.

BESIDES, YOU'RE ALWAYS WITH

SOMEBODY WHO HAS A CELL PHONE.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

OK -- UH -- WELL, WHAT IF

I'M IN AN EMERGENCY?

I'M NOT ALWAYS WITH PEOPLE WHO

HAVE A -- A WAY TO CALL HOME,

HUH?

UH -- WHAT IF ME AND JAZZY WALK

HOME FROM SCHOOL ONE DAY AND WE

JUST HAPPEN TO GET JUMPED, HUH,

AND WE DON'T HAVE NO CELL PHONE

TO CALL FOR HELP?

MALIK, THE LAST TIME YOU GOT

INTO A FIGHT, YOU SCREAMED

SO LOUD THAT YOU DIDN'T NEED

A CELL PHONE.

YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

WELL, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR

BREATH BECAUSE DADDY'S BEING

CHEAP -- LIKE UNCLE CURTIS.

WHAT -- WHAT YOU SAY?

I AM NOT CHEAP, I'M THRIFTY.

TAKE THAT.

THAT'S FOR YOU.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THESE CANS?

EMPTY THEM OUT, CLEAN THEM

UP, TIE SOME STRING TO IT, AND

TALK ALL YOU WANT TO.

AND THE BEST PART OF IT IS YOU

AIN'T GOT TO WAIT TILL 7:00.

YOU GOT UNLIMITED MINUTES.

AND IF YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND

BE QUIET FOR A MINUTE -- SHH --

YOU GOT CALL WAITING.

HEY, FLOYD, YOU HAVE KEYS

TO THE BATHROOM?

I NEED SOME TISSUE.

OK.

WE'RE TRYING TO CONSERVE

AROUND HERE.

ONE FOR MONDAY --

WHAT?

TWO FOR WEDNESDAY --

AND ONE MORE FOR FRIDAY

AND THE WEEKEND.

DON'T USE IT ALL IN ONE PLACE,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WAIT A MINUTE -- HOLD UP,

HOLD UP.

THREE SHEETS?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THREE SHEETS?

FLOYD, DON'T SAY IT.

PLEASE DON'T SAY IT.

FLOYD, WHAT'S GOING ON?

OK, KIKI, IT'S BEEN SLOW

AROUND HERE, ALL RIGHT, AND WE

NEED TO CONSERVE OUR RESOURCES.

I MEAN, WE GOT TO TIGHTEN

OUR BELTS.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE'RE GOING

TO START CONSERVING WITH WATER

AND ELECTRICITY FIRST.

WAIT A MINUTE -- HOLD ON, HOW

WE SUPPOSED TO USE OUR CLIPPERS

WITHOUT ELECTRICITY?

YOU'RE NOT.

USE SCISSORS.

WE USED TO USE THEM BACK IN THE

DAY AND THAT'S GOOD FOR NOW.

YOU CAN'T CUT NO BLACK MAN'S

HEAD WITH NO SCISSORS!

HEY, IF WE CAN'T CONSERVE AND

SAVE SOME MONEY, THEN I'M GOING

TO HAVE TO CUT ONE OF Y'ALL.

OH, YOU WANT TO CUT?

OH -- WE CAN CUT.

NO, KIKI --

WE CAN CUT!

NO, SUSIE SCISSORHANDS.

WE NEED TO CUT ON EXPENSES,

OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO HAVE

TO LET ONE OF Y'ALL GO.

WHAT?

OH, MAN.

HMM.

NICE KNOWING YOU, CALVIN.

YOU KNOW THE SAYING --

"LAST ONE IN, FIRST ONE OUT."

TOUGH BREAK, KID.

I MEAN, IF YOU KNEW HOW TO DO

NAILS OR CUT HAIR, WE COULD USE

YOU BUT SINCE YOU CAN'T, WALK.

SO Y'ALL GOING TO LET FLOYD

JUST FIRE ME?

YEAH.

BUT I -- I THOUGHT WE WERE

FRIENDS.

YUP.

I'M SHOCKED, I'M -- I'M HURT,

I'M --

UNEMPLOYED.

HEY, SON!

LOOK, WE GETTING THE PARTY READY

FOR YOU -- LOOK AT THAT, MAN!

EVERYTHING GOING TO BE GREAT

BY TONIGHT.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH, AND DO YOU LIKE

THE BANNER I MADE FOR YOU?

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALI"?

WHAT -- WHERE'S THE K?

I RAN OUT OF ROOM, BUT YOU --

YOU KNOW YOUR NAME.

SEE -- HE'S SPEECHLESS.

I TOLD YOU HE'D LIKE IT.

NOW, WHERE CAN WE PUT UP

THE PINATA?

NO, NO -- PINATA?

NO, LOOK -- I MEAN, WHY CAN'T I

HAVE JUST A NORMAL PARTY WITH

A D.J., SOME LOUDSPEAKERS,

A CATERER, SOME DIM LIGHTS,

AND SOME GO-GO DANCERS?

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

YOU AIN'T HAVING NO D.J. AND

NO GO-GO GIRLS.

YOU GOING TO HAVE A BOOM BOX,

OLD SCHOOL.

AND AS FAR AS YOUR CATERER,

THAT'LL BE ME AT THE GRILL WITH

THE HAMBURGERS AND HOTDOGS.

MALIK, YOU CAN FORGET

THE GO-GO DANCERS.

YOU MAY AS WELL JUST GO-GO BACK

TO SLEEP -- YOU'RE DREAMING.

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE COMING.

HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO IMPRESS

TAYLOR IF WE'RE PLAYING PIN

THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY?

WE GOING TO PIN THE TAIL

ON YOU?

OK, I'M GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE

OF THAT AND SHOW IT TO EVERYBODY

IN THE SCHOOL -- IT'S GOING

TO BE FUNNY.

SHUT UP, OK?

MAN, THIS WHOLE THING IS WACK!

I MEAN, IF I CAN'T HAVE A PARTY

THE WAY I WANT IT, I DON'T WANT

NO PARTY AT ALL.

YOU MAD, SON?

YOU MAD, SON?

THAT'S ALL YOU GOING TO SAY?

THAT'S ALL YOU GOING TO DO?

[ELLA CHUCKLES]

I DON'T GET IT.

I DON'T -- YOU JUST GOING TO LET

IT GO DOWN LIKE THIS?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY GOD GIVES

SOME PEOPLE CHILDREN.

HE JUST SAID HE DIDN'T WANT

NO PARTY.

AH -- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

JAZMINE, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED

TO DO?

BEAT HIM?

"BEAT HIM?"

OK.

OK, I GOT IT, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY,

LISTEN UP.

I FOUND A WAY TO GO AHEAD AND

INCREASE INCOME WITHOUT LETTING

ANYBODY OFF.

OOH, GOOD, COOL.

YEAH, YEAH.

WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS I'M

GOING TO RAISE YOUR BOOTH RENT

BY 10%.

WHAT?

YEAH.

YES!

UH -- SAY, BRO, YOUR HAIRCUT

JUST WENT UP $10.

I'M SORRY, PEOPLE, THERE'S

JUST NO OTHER WAY TO STAY

IN BUSINESS.

I'M SORRY.

AND WHAT YOU SO HAPPY FOR

OVER THERE, HAPPY FEET?

I DON'T HAVE A BOOTH -- HA.

KEEP DANCING AND YOU WON'T

HAVE A TOOTH.

MAN, FORGET THIS!

I SAY WE STRIKE!

THEY TRIED THAT IN DETROIT --

CITY AIN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE.

D, HOW WE GOING TO GET PAID

IF WE STRIKE?

OH, YOU RIGHT -- BAD IDEA.

WAIT, I GOT IT.

WHY DON'T WE, LIKE, DO, LIKE,

A BINGO NIGHT OR, LIKE, DOMINOS

GAME, RAISE MONEY?

YEAH.

YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE COULD SELL SUSHI!

OH -- WE IN THE PROJECTS!

BLACK PEOPLE DON'T EAT

NO SUSHI!

HEY, HEY, WAIT, NOW.

IF -- IF WE FRY IT, THEY MIGHT.

[ALL AGREE]

TSK, TSK, TSK.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, PEOPLE,

LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP.

AHEM.

I'VE LOOKED AT THE BOOKS

AGAIN AND EVEN WITH THE

INCREASE IN YOUR -- YOUR BOOTH

RENTAL AND EVERYTHING, I'M STILL

GOING TO HAVE TO LET

SOMEBODY GO.

HE REALLY GOING TO FIRE

ONE OF Y'ALL.

ONE OF US?

THIS IS A BARBERSHOP.

WE CUT HAIR. YOU DO NAILS.

AND I DO THEM GOOD.

PLEASE -- YOU BRING IN

THE PERVERTS.

WE BRING IN ALL THE REAL

CUSTOMERS.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, YOUR

CUSTOMERS DON'T COME BACK TO GET

THAT CROOKED LINEUP YOU DO.

PLEASE -- MY LINEUP IS TIGHT!

WAIT -- HOLD UP --

YOUR LINEUP IS NOT TIGHT!

WAIT, WAIT, JUST STAY CALM,

HERE, ALL RIGHT, LET'S STAY

TOGETHER.

HE CAN'T FIRE US ALL OR ELSE

HE'S GOING TO GO OUT

OF BUSINESS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I SAY IF ONE OF US GOES, WE

ALL GO -- POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

STICK TOGETHER.

THEY TRIED THAT IN L.A. --

AIN'T SEEN A BLACK SITCOM SINCE.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, PEOPLE.

ALL RIGHT, DANA --

OH!

HOLLER!

THIS IS A BARBERSHOP.

IT'S A BARBERSHOP!

EXCUSE ME, WHAT HAPPENED TO

"BLACK POWER, WE GOING TO STICK

TOGETHER"?

ALL I WAS GOING TO SAY IS

DANA, FLIP THE SWITCH TO "OFF"

SO WE CAN BE CLOSED AND LOCK

THE DOOR SO WE CAN TALK.

OK. IT'S ONE OF Y'ALL.

EXCUSE ME.

NOW, CONTINUING HERE --

UM -- DELANTE --

OH, MAN!

I KNEW IT, MAN, I --

A'IGHT, A'IGHT, NOW I CAN SAY

WHAT I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU,

YOU -- YOU STUPID,

CORNY-JOKE TELLING,

LOU GOSSETT JR., BALDHEADED,

NO-SHOE-SHININ' --

MAN, I STUCK WITH YOU FOR FIVE

YEARS, MAN, FIVE YEARS, MAN!

I COULD'VE MADE SOME MORE MONEY

SOMEWHERE ELSE, BUT YOU KNOW WHY

I STUCK WITH YOU?

LOYALTY.

OH.

ARE YOU FINISHED?

NOW I'M DONE.

I WAS GOING TO SAY YOU BEEN

WITH ME THE LONGEST, SO I CAN'T

"LET YOU GO."

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GOING TO MAKE A NOTE ABOUT

THIS LITTLE OUTBURST, ALL RIGHT?

NO, THEY --

YOU -- THEY JUST JOKES.

YOU KNOW WE --

I LOVE YOU.

HEY!

YOU ALREADY SINGED THE HAIR OFF

MY FACE.

NOW, KIKI --

WHAT'S UP, HUH?

WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY TO KIKI?

HUH?

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

UM -- CALVIN?

MAN! I KNEW IT!

I'M SORRY, BROTHER, BUT

BECAUSE OF HEALTH REASONS --

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU GO.

BUT -- BUT, FLOYD, I -- I

THOUGHT I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB.

SEE -- LOOK, IT'S CLEAN.

SON, YOU ARE -- YOU ARE DOING

A GOOD JOB.

I'M SORRY, I'M GOING TO HAVE

TO LET YOU GO, MAN.

SO, IS -- IS THIS ABOUT

THE VODKA BOTTLE I FOUND

IN YOUR SHOESHINE KIT?

FLOYD, BABY, IT'S ME --

I SAID I WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT --

BUT I'M FEELING A WHOLE LOT

BETTER ABOUT MY DECISION.

LOOK, SORRY, MAN.

OK, WHAT IF I -- WHAT IF I

COME UP WITH A PLAN WHERE YOU

CAN AFFORD TO KEEP ME?

THEN CAN I STAY?

[FLOYD SIGHS]

SURE, SURE.

BUT UNTIL THEN, YOU HAVE TO GO.

[ALL HUM "TAPS"]

OK, FINE, FINE, I'M LEAVING!

HEY, CALVIN?

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW,

KIKI -- I'M GOING TO MISS

YOU GUYS, TOO.

NO, I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY

I'M GLAD YOU'RE LEAVING BECAUSE

YOU HAD ONE MORE AGAIN TO PARK

IN MY PARKING SPOT, AND I WAS

GOING TO HAVE TO USE THAT BLADE.

Y'ALL BE BREEZY.

THERE'S ALWAYS THE POST

OFFICE.

HEY, HEY!

THE PARTY IS POPPING!

HEY-HEY!

WHAT UP, KEVIN?

KEVIN, YOU -- YOU TALK TO MALIK?

YEP.

WELL, WHAT'D HE SAY?

HE SAID HE'S STILL MAD AND

HE'S NOT COMING OUT.

WELL, TELL HIM THAT I SAID HE

IS MISSING A GREAT PARTY --

IT'S POPPING UP IN HERE.

WELL, WHERE IS IT?

MAYBE WE ALL CAN GO.

MAN, LOOK AT ALL THESE

KIDS -- WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LOOK AT --

THIS IS A GREAT --

OK, YEAH, I GUESS IT IS

STARTING A LITTLE SLOW.

"SLOW"?

MAN, THIS PARTY'S WACK.

I'LL BE IN MY ROOM IF ANYTHING

JUMPS OFF.

HOLLER.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GO TELL MALIK THAT I SAID IF

HE DON'T GET HIS BUTT OUT HERE

RIGHT NOW --

OK, WELL, I'LL TELL HIM THAT.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, AUNT ELLA?

YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

THIS PARTY IS WACK!

C.J., I HAVE MORE FUN STANDING

IN LINE AT A D.M.V.!

I'M SORRY, SWEETIE, MALIK WAS

RIGHT.

SO I GUESS I'M NOT GOING

TO GET FATHER OF THE YEAR

ON THIS ONE, HUH?

OH, NO. NO, NO.

WHO DIED?

NO ONE -- THIS IS MALIK'S

BIRTHDAY PARTY!

MAN, THIS PARTY IS WACK.

CALVIN, I NEED YOUR HELP,

MAN.

I NEED TO LIVEN THIS THING UP.

YEAH, SISTER BABY NEEDS SOME

COFFEE OR SOMETHING.

CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, MAN?

WELL, FOR A SMALL FEE, I CAN

HAVE THIS PARTY JUMPING

IN NO TIME.

HMM.

HOW MUCH WE TALKING?

WELL, THAT DEPENDS -- HOW BAD

YOU WANT MALIK TO FORGIVE YOU?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT.

HA!

YES, SIR.

YEAH, THERE YOU GO, MAN.

P TO THE FOURTH POWER,

AT YOUR SERVICE.

YEAH, Y'ALL GOING TO NEED

TO HYPIN' UP BECAUSE POOKIE AND

PEANUT'S PARTY PLANNER SERVICE

IS HERE TO --

YEAH!

JUMP IT OFF!

I'M TALKING ABOUT FROM BANK HEAD

TO BUNK HEAD -- THAT'S HOW WE

DO.

FROM OVER THERE TO RIVERDALE,

WE MAKE IT HAPPEN.

WE KEEPS THE PARTY CRACKIN'.

LET'S DO IT.

YEAH.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

* UH, POP, OOH, POP

WAIT -- HOLD, HOLD, HOLD!

OH --

WHOO-HOO!

I AIN'T SWEATED THIS MUCH SINCE

I PARTIED WITH -- UM --

ROSA PARKS AND THEM?

NO, NO, NO --

BACK OF THE BUS TOUR?

WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY?

WHAT'S GOING ON, CAL?

HEY.

HEY, WAIT -- WHERE YOU BEEN,

MAN?

I THOUGHT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

THINKING UP A WAY TO SAVE YOUR

JOB.

OH, I HAD TO SAVE MY COUSIN'S

BIRTHDAY PARTY, AND NOW I AM

HERE TO SAVE THE SHOP.

HA -- IT'S WHAT I DO.

OOH, WERE THERE ANY CUTE BOYS

AT THIS PARTY?

THEY'RE 13.

OH.

THEY GOT ANY CUTE DADDIES?

LOOK, ANYWAY, I'VE COME UP

WITH A PLAN TO SAVE THE SHOP

AND MY JOB.

ALL RIGHT, CALVIN, WHAT YOU

GOT?

OK, COME ON, SIT DOWN.

I GOT -- I GOT A CUSTOMER.

OH, IT'S COOL, IT'S COOL,

HE'LL WAIT.

ALL RIGHT, WE BURN DOWN THE SHOP

AND COLLECT THE INSURANCE MONEY.

YOUR DADDY IS THE FIRE CHIEF

AND YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING LIKE

THAT?

WELL, THAT WAS POOKIE AND

PEANUT'S IDEA, BUT I GOT MY OWN

IDEA.

CHECK THIS OUT -- NEW UNIFORMS

FOR DANA AND KIKI.

BAM!

OH!

OH, UH-UH!

WHERE IS MY RAZOR?

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

OK, OK -- HOLD THAT -- I GOT --

I GOT ANOTHER IDEA.

BETTER BE GOOD.

OK, WE GET A 50" TV AND A

LIQUOR LICENSE, AND EVERY DAY

AT 2:00, WE HAVE "HAPPY HAIRCUT

HOUR."

THAT WAY, YOU CAN DRINK UP WHILE

YOU GET LINED UP.

HA-HA.

SOUND GOOD?

SOUND GOOD TO ME, BRO.

AND THAT IDEA'S JACKED UP.

NEXT?

CALVIN, YOU REALLY DIDN'T

TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, DID YOU?

BRO, I'M -- I'M SORRY,

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU GO,

MAN.

[PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

NO, THEY DIDN'T LIKE ANY

OF MY IDEAS.

WHAT?

BABY, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

OK, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

UH -- FLOYD?

HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE ME A PARTNER?

BRO, YOU DON'T KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT THE BARBERSHOP

BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT?

AND BESIDES, YOU CAN'T EVEN CUT

HAIR AS GOOD AS KIKI.

NO, BUT I DO HAVE A WOMAN

THAT ADORES ME.

MIRANDA JUST OFFERED TO GIVE ME

THE MONEY TO BUY MYSELF IN.

SO, YOU TAKE 50% AND MIRANDA

AND I EACH WILL TAKE 25%.

OOH, YOU DOING MATH NOW?

LOOK HERE, THERE IS NO AMOUNT

OF MONEY THAT YOU CAN OFFER ME

TO TAKE OVER THIS BUS--

THAT MUCH?

WELCOME TO THE BARBERSHOP

BUSINESS.

ALL RIGHT, PARTNER.

YEAH.

WHOO, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY,

MAN!

I KNOW.

AND A LAP DANCE, TOO?

MAKE SURE SHE SCHEDULES

AN APPOINTMENT.

SHE DID NOT SAY "A LAP

DANCE."

ANYWAY, YOU'RE FIRED,

YOU'RE FIRED.

OH --

DELANTE, YOU CAN STAY --

I ALWAYS LIKED YOU.

MY MAN, MY MAN.

OK, SOMEBODY, CLEAN UP,

PLEASE, IT'S DIRTY IN HERE.

BRO, WE AIN'T GOT THAT MONEY

YET, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SIT

DOWN SOMEWHERE.

MALIK, I JUST WANT YOU

TO KNOW THAT I HAD A WONDERFUL

TIME.

REALLY?

YEAH.

I'LL SEE YOU AT SCHOOL

ON MONDAY.

OK.

THAT'S NASTY.

OH, ALL RIGHT, I SEE YOU,

BIG DOG.

OOH, THAT'S MY DUDE, THAT'S

MY DUDE RIGHT THERE.

MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER

PERFECTLY PLANNED POOKIE

AND PEANUT PARTY.

MAN, WE DID THE THING.

HEY, MAN, I GUESS OUR WORK

HERE IS FINISHED, PLAYBOY.

YEAH, MAN.

ALL RIGHT.

WE APPRECIATE IT, MAN,

BUT Y'ALL GOT TO PAY UP.

YES, SIR, YES, SIR.

GOOD LOOKIN' OUT.

GOOD LOOKIN' OUT.

LET ME COUNT THIS UP.

DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.

[SIRENS]

OH, HEY --

OH, NO, THAT'S THE POLICE.

UM -- LOOK, WE GOT TO GO.

UM -- GET THAT BACK TO THE

RADIO -- THEY NEED THAT FOR THE

MORNING SHOW -- AND WE, WE

GOING TO GET AT Y'ALL LATER.

AND HOLLER AT US WHEN YOU

NEED US.

YEAH.

CALVIN, THE --

THE TURNTABLES IS HOT?

I DON'T KNOW NOTHING.

I DON'T KNOW NOTHING.

[DEEP VOICE]

OH -- UM -- WELL, DAD, YOU KNOW,

I JUST WANT TO, YOU KNOW --

UH -- SON, SON?

TAYLOR'S GONE, YOU CAN TAKE ALL

THAT BASS OUT YOUR VOICE.

UH -- AHEM.

[NORMAL VOICE]

LOOK, SERIOUS, THOUGH, DAD, I DO

WANT TO JUST SAY I AM SORRY

ABOUT THE WAY I ACTED EARLIER.

YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY TURNED OUT

TO BE A REALLY GREAT PARTY.

IT SURE DID.

PARTY OVER HERE!

JAZMINE, GO TO BED.

* Go, Jazmine

Go, Jazmine *

MALIK, BABY, WE JUST GLAD YOU

HAD A GOOD TIME WITH ALL

YOUR FRIENDS.

OH, WE DID.

IT REALLY WAS A GOOD TIME.

I MEAN, EVEN IF I DIDN'T GET

A CELL PHONE, I GOT A KISS.

YOU GOT A KISS, MAN.

I GOT A KISS.

AND SHE'S A PRETTY GIRL, TOO.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

OH -- I DO WANT TO THANK YOU,

COUSIN CALVIN, THANK YOU.

OH, NO PROBLEM, BIG DOG.

* YEAH, PARTY OVER HERE

YEAH, YEAH *

[PHONE RINGS]

THAT SOMEBODY'S PHONE

RINGING?

UH -- YEAH.

GO AHEAD AND GET THAT, MAN.

GO AHEAD, OPEN THAT UP,

THAT'S FOR YOU, MAN.

WOW!

THANKS, DAD!

IT AIN'T THE ONE YOU WANTED,

BUT IT'S BETTER THAN THE HOUSE

PHONE.

THANK YOU.

I MEAN, EVEN AFTER THE WAY

I ACTED TODAY, YOU STILL GOT ME

ONE.

THAT'S MY BOY.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

[MALIK LAUGHS]

GIVE ME SOME LOVE, MAN.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'S UP?

HANG UP THE PHONE.

DAD, I'M ON THE PHONE

WITH TAYLOR.

I SAID GET OFF THE PHONE,

BOY!

[DEEP VOICE]

TAYLOR, LET ME -- LET ME CALL

YOU BACK REAL QUICK -- MY

DAD TRIPPING, MAN.

I'M GOING TO CALL YOU LATER.

YOU TRIPPING.

THIS PHONE BILL IS OVER $150.

YOU GOT TEXT MESSAGING ON HERE,

YOU GOT RING TONES,

YOU GOT A CALL YOU MADE TO

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CALI-- WHO DO

YOU KNOW IN RANCHO CUCAMONGA,

CALIFORNIA?

TAYLOR WAS VISITING

HER GRANDMOTHER.

AND YOU COULDN'T USE

THE HOUSE PHONE?

I DON'T HAVE ANY PRIVACY

ON THE HOUSE PHONE.

THIS IS GOING TO END.

GIVE ME THAT.

OK.

MAN, WHAT --

[THUD]

ALL THE PRIVACY YOU NEED.