All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S04E03 - What the- WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,467 ELLA. I AM SO EXCITED. 2 00:00:05,467 --> 00:00:06,800 OOH, OOH! 3 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,233 * OOH 4 00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:09,567 HEY, DOUGHBOY. 5 00:00:09,567 --> 00:00:11,000 HEY, WEAVY WONDER. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:11,967 FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DON'T 7 00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,967 WEAR WEAVES. I WEAR WIGS. 8 00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:15,200 WELL, EXCUSE ME. 9 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,700 WIGGY WONDER. 10 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,067 EITHER WAY, IT'S NOT YOUR HAIR. 11 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,367 I HAVE RECEIPTS THAT SAY 12 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,200 OTHERWISE. 13 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,433 OKAY, CURTIS, WHY CAN'T WE 14 00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,567 JUST SEE THESE PEOPLE AT THE 15 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:26,667 REUNION TOMORROW? 16 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,500 I ALREADY SAID, I DON'T WANT TO 17 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:29,867 HAVE THIS STUPID MIXER. 18 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:30,700 ELLA, ELLA, COME ON, BABY. 19 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:31,367 COME ON. 20 00:00:31,367 --> 00:00:32,267 I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS MORE 21 00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:33,167 PERSONAL. 22 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,533 NOW, YOU GET TO SEE ALL YOUR OLD 23 00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,867 FRIENDS, 24 00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:37,433 AND I GET TO SEE CYNTHIA. 25 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,700 OH! 26 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:39,867 [ CHUCKLES ] 27 00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,300 SO IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE ON THAT 28 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:42,400 SILLY JERSEY? 29 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,833 I'M WEARING THE JERSEY SO 30 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:44,767 EVERYONE CAN REMEMBER 31 00:00:44,767 --> 00:00:46,600 I WAS THE NUMBER-ONE JOCK. 32 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,600 NO, YOU WERE THE NUMBER-ONE 33 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,167 JERK. 34 00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:52,000 ELLA, WHY DON'T YOU WANT 35 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,267 TO SEE EVERYBODY? 36 00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:55,533 BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE ANY OF 37 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,567 THOSE PEOPLE WHEN WE WERE IN 38 00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:57,467 COLLEGE. 39 00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:58,367 WELL, I'M LOOKING FORWARD 40 00:00:58,367 --> 00:00:59,500 TO IT. 41 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,067 I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO ALL 42 00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:03,567 BECAME OLD, FAT, AND BORING... 43 00:01:03,567 --> 00:01:04,700 OTHER THAN CURTIS. 44 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,400 AT LEAST I GOT MY OWN HAIR. 45 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,767 SO DO I. 46 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:11,067 ELLA, WHICH ONE OF THESE WIGS 47 00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:12,233 GOES WITH MY OUTFIT? 48 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,667 THE ONE THAT COVERS YOUR FACE 49 00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:14,700 THE MOST. 50 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,067 CURTIS, STOP IT, AND GO TAKE 51 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,800 THAT TIGHT JERSEY OFF. 52 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,600 YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME! 53 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,700 BESIDES... 54 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,733 I BET YOU CYNTHIA WILL LIKE IT. 55 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:25,933 SAY HER NAME ONE MORE TIME, 56 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:26,833 YOU HEAR? 57 00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:28,400 CYNTHIA. CYNTHIA. CYNTHIA. 58 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,367 CYNTHIA. 59 00:01:29,367 --> 00:01:31,433 WHO IS CYNTHIA? 60 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:32,567 YOU KNOW, THE TIRED OLD 61 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,867 CHEERLEADER. 62 00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:34,967 HONEY, HE THINKS SHE STILL WANT 63 00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:35,733 HIM. 64 00:01:35,733 --> 00:01:39,633 ALWAYS HAS...AND ALWAYS WILL. 65 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,367 BUT, BABY, DON'T YOU WORRY. 66 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,300 YOU WON THE PRIZE. 67 00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,600 YEAH, THE BIG BEAR FULL 68 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,267 OF S-- 69 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:45,933 AH. 70 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:46,600 STUFF. 71 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,600 HUH. 72 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,600 LET ME GO GET DRESSED. 73 00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:55,233 BYE. 74 00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:57,100 HEY. SO YOU ALL SET? 75 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,067 FOR WHAT? 76 00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,467 WE HAVING THE REUNION MIXER 77 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:00,200 TONIGHT. 78 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,933 OH, THAT'S TONIGHT? 79 00:02:01,933 --> 00:02:03,233 MAN, I WAS GONNA WATCH THE 80 00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:05,200 HORROR-MOVIE MARATHON. 81 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,800 DON'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF THAT 82 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,400 WHEN CLARETHA'S OVER HERE? 83 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,533 COME ON, MAN, YOU GOT TO GET UP 84 00:02:09,533 --> 00:02:10,567 OUT OF HERE. 85 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:11,700 COME ON, UNC, ME AND THE 86 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:12,567 KIDS WILL STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY, 87 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:13,533 PROMISE. 88 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,467 I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA STAY OUT 89 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,367 OF MY WAY BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA 90 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:16,467 BE OVER AT THE FIREHOUSE. 91 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,667 NOW, YOU KNOW HE'S NOT ALL 92 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:19,633 THAT GREAT WITH THEM BY HIMSELF. 93 00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:20,967 SO MAYBE WE NEED TO GET HIM 94 00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,200 A SITTER. 95 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:22,967 THE GUYS ARE GONNA BE OVER 96 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:23,633 THERE. 97 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:24,300 THEY CAN HELP HIM. 98 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,167 I'M THEIR FATHER. 99 00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,533 I DON'T NEED ANY HELP, OKAY? 100 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,400 WE'LL BE FINE. 101 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,133 [ CHUCKLES ] 102 00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:33,267 SURE YOU WILL. 103 00:02:33,267 --> 00:02:34,567 WHAT ARE YOU WRITING? 104 00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:36,367 MY CELL NUMBER... 105 00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:39,067 THE NUMBER TO THE HOSPITAL... 106 00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:41,400 OOH, RED CROSS. 107 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,967 911. OKAY. 108 00:02:42,967 --> 00:02:43,767 FEMA. 109 00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,333 CROSS THAT ONE OUT. 110 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,200 RIGHT. 111 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,733 SOCIAL SERVICES. 112 00:02:50,733 --> 00:02:52,767 AH! AND IN CASE OF A FIRE-- 113 00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,433 I'LL BE AT THE FIREHOUSE. 114 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:55,367 I'LL WRITE THAT NUMBER DOWN, 115 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,400 ANYWAY. 116 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,633 I GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU. 117 00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:08,500 AUNT ELLA AND UNCLE CURTIS ARE 118 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:09,633 HAVING A PARTY HERE TONIGHT, 119 00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:11,067 SO WE GOT TO GO OVER 120 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,067 TO THE FIREHOUSE. 121 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,233 ALL NIGHT? 122 00:03:13,233 --> 00:03:14,400 YEP. 123 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,800 WELL, WHO'S GONNA WATCH US? 124 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,500 ME. 125 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,200 BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING 126 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,100 GOES WRONG? 127 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,500 MALIK, I'M A FIREFIGHTER. 128 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,433 PEOPLE CALL ME 129 00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:22,333 WHEN THINGS GO WRONG. 130 00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:23,567 WATCHING KIDS IS DIFFERENT 131 00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:26,100 FROM GETTING CATS OUT OF TREES. 132 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:26,967 DAD, CAN YOU GIVE US 133 00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,200 A SECOND? 134 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,733 SURE. 135 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,733 YOU'RE STILL STANDING THERE. 136 00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:34,933 OH, YOU WANT ME TO -- 137 00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,467 OKAY. 138 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,700 DIDN'T OUR PRINCIPAL SAY THAT 139 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,800 WE CAN ALWAYS CALL HER 140 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,267 IN A TIME OF A CRISIS? 141 00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:41,300 WELL, IF SHE DOESN'T 142 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,767 THINK THIS IS A CRISIS, 143 00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,367 SHE'S GONNA GIVE US DETENTION. 144 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,067 OH, NO. 145 00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:46,867 I AIN'T DOING NO DETENTION. 146 00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,567 IT'S GET DETENTION AND LIVE, 147 00:03:48,567 --> 00:03:50,567 OR RISK OUR LIVES WITH DAD. 148 00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:51,700 AND IF IT COMES DOWN TO ONE OF 149 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:55,067 US, IT'S GONNA BE YOU. 150 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:55,733 [SQUEAK] 151 00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:56,533 SO I'M GONNA MISS YOU, 152 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:57,100 LITTLE SISTER. 153 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,533 HEY, AIN'T NOBODY RISKING 154 00:03:58,533 --> 00:04:00,067 THEIR LIVES, OKAY? 155 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:00,867 I GOT THIS. 156 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,400 SOMETHING TELL ME THIS AIN'T 157 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,967 GONNA END TOO GOOD. 158 00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:06,233 MAN, DAD, THAT MOVIE WAS 159 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:06,967 HARD! 160 00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:07,800 HEY, HEY, REMEMBER THE PART 161 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,800 WHERE THE DUDE DID THE BACKFLIP 162 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,067 OFF THE ROOF? OOH! 163 00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,167 THAT WAS TOO TIGHT! 164 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:11,833 HA! HA! 165 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,067 OH, OH, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT 166 00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:13,933 "ACCIDENTS HAPPEN"? 167 00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:14,600 YEAH. 168 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,767 OH, I LOVED THAT MOVIE. 169 00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,700 HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE PART 170 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,233 WHERE THE CAR FLIPPED OVER, 171 00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:19,500 AND IT FELL OFF THE CLIFF, 172 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:20,433 AND THEN IT EXPLODED? 173 00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:21,500 [ WHISTLE ] 174 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,467 HA! HA! 175 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,200 THAT WAS SO COOL! 176 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,967 SO, UH, WHERE'S JAZMINE? 177 00:04:24,967 --> 00:04:25,767 SHE RIGHT -- 178 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,067 JAZZY? 179 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,100 OH! 180 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,300 OH, WE LEFT HER AT THE THEATER! 181 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:34,600 OOH! 182 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,400 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 183 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,600 SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVEN'T 184 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,067 CHANGED A BIT. 185 00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,133 I KNOW. I KNOW. 186 00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,200 [ CHUCKLES ] 187 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,300 LAMONT? 188 00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:44,667 MAN, IF I'D HAVE KNOWN YOU STILL 189 00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:45,700 HAD A JHERI CURL, I NEVER 190 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,333 WOULD'VE INVITED YOU. 191 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,067 DRIPPING JUICE ALL -- 192 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,600 GO GET THE PLASTIC WRAP. 193 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,700 PUT YOUR HEAD UP, MAN. 194 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:51,500 YOU DRIPPING JUICE ALL OVER 195 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,167 MY CHAIR. 196 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,067 CURTIS, WHAT YOU GONNA DO? 197 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:53,933 WHAT YOU THINK I'M GONNA DO? 198 00:04:53,933 --> 00:04:54,667 WE CAN'T DO THIS. 199 00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:55,533 BABY, WRAP THE DOGGONE THING. 200 00:04:55,533 --> 00:04:56,867 OH, CURTIS. 201 00:04:56,867 --> 00:05:00,333 PUT YOUR HEAD BACK. 202 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,700 OKAY. DON'T GET ME. 203 00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,533 DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. 204 00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:05,433 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY STILL 205 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:07,333 SOLD CURL ACTIVATOR. 206 00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,333 ELLA, WHO IS THAT? 207 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:10,133 I DON'T KNOW. 208 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,567 I THOUGHT YOU INVITED HER. 209 00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:12,567 NO. 210 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,533 GIRL, HER LIPS LOOK SHE COULD BE 211 00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:17,400 USED FOR A FLOATATION DEVICE. 212 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,967 CURTIS, CURTIS, CURTIS. 213 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:21,067 WHO IS THAT WOMAN RIGHT THERE? 214 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:21,800 I DON'T KNOW, 215 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,767 AND I DON'T CARE. 216 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:23,767 ALL I KNOW IS, CYNTHIA DIDN'T 217 00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,100 SHOW UP. 218 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,067 YOU THINK I'M PLAYING WITH 219 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,067 YOU, DON'T YOU? 220 00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:29,767 WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SAYING 221 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:31,067 THAT WOMAN'S NAME? 222 00:05:31,067 --> 00:05:33,900 I'M JUST SAYING, SHE RSVP'd. 223 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,100 I DON'T KNOW WHY 224 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,067 SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP. 225 00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,433 MAYBE I SHOULD CALL HER. 226 00:05:39,433 --> 00:05:40,767 SEE? I DIDN'T SAY HER NAME. 227 00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:41,867 GET AWAY FROM ME. 228 00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:44,600 GET AWAY FROM ME. 229 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,367 ELLA. 230 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,300 WHO IS THAT? 231 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,133 I DON'T REMEMBER HIM FROM 232 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:51,467 SCHOOL, AND HE IS FINE. 233 00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:55,867 OHH, GIRL, THAT'S ANDREW. 234 00:05:55,867 --> 00:05:57,933 OH, AND HE DOES LOOK GOOD. 235 00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,100 OOH, IF HE LOOKED THAT GOOD 236 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,533 WHEN YOU WERE DATING HIM, I'M 237 00:06:01,533 --> 00:06:03,067 SURE YOU WOULD'VE NEVER MARRIED 238 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:05,500 THE BIG-BELLIED TROLL. 239 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,367 EXCUSE ME, OLD PEOPLE. 240 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,567 SOMEBODY DRIVING A 1973 241 00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,067 BABY-BLUE CONVERTIBLE WITH A 242 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:12,567 DENT ON THE PASSENGER SIDE AND A 243 00:06:12,567 --> 00:06:14,167 SHOWER CAP ON THE HEADREST AND A 244 00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,467 LICENSE PLATE READING, "JUICY," 245 00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:18,800 YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED. 246 00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:23,967 DIDN'T YOU PARK THE CAR? 247 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,200 YEP, BUT HE DIDN'T LEAVE ME 248 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:25,933 A TIP. 249 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:26,600 MAN, FORGET THIS. 250 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,100 I AIN'T VALETING NO MORE. 251 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,967 BAR'S OPEN, 4-DRINK MINIMUM, 252 00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:34,333 CASH ONLY. 253 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,300 ELLA? 254 00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:37,833 I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. 255 00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,533 LOOK AT YOU LIGHTING UP THE ROOM 256 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,667 WITH YOUR BEAUTY. 257 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,833 HA! HA! HA! 258 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:43,667 WHOO, OOH, OOH! 259 00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:46,433 HA! HA! 260 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:47,800 THANK YOU, ANDREW. 261 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,867 HA! HA! HA! 262 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,800 YOU DON'T LOOK TOO SHABBY 263 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,733 YOURSELF. 264 00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:51,967 HA! HA! 265 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:52,800 I KNOW. 266 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,067 HA! HA! HA! 267 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,333 IT'S 'CAUSE I'M RICH! 268 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:57,200 WELL, JUST HOW RICH 269 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,367 ARE WE TALKING? 270 00:06:58,367 --> 00:06:59,833 PRIVATE-HOUSE RICH 271 00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:02,267 OR PRIVATE-ISLAND RICH? 272 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,100 HELLO TO YOU, TOO, CLARETHA. 273 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,167 [ CHUCKLES ] 274 00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:08,567 WELL, I WROTE A BEST-SELLER. 275 00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:09,767 "I CAME..." 276 00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:10,433 MM-HMM. 277 00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:11,233 "I SAW..." 278 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,100 THAT'S WHAT I DID. 279 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,267 "I CONQUERED." 280 00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,133 YES. 281 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,833 IT'S BASED ON MY CONQUESTS 282 00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:18,367 IN MY, UH, COLLEGE YEARS. 283 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,700 IT ALSO INCLUDES 284 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,400 ALL MY INTIMATE EXPERIENCES. 285 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,300 OOH. DO TELL. 286 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,067 AND I DO. 287 00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:26,933 HA! HA! HA! 288 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:28,833 AM I IN THAT BOOK? 289 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:30,933 WELL, UH, YOU'RE JUST GONNA 290 00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,867 HAVE TO READ IT TO FIND OUT. 291 00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:33,667 OOH. 292 00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:36,533 AH. $14.95. 293 00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:37,967 MOM, YOU CAN BUY MINE 294 00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:39,067 FOR $10. 295 00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,200 HEY, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT 296 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:40,867 FROM? 297 00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:41,567 YOU HAD A WHOLE BOX 298 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,600 IN YOUR CAR. 299 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,433 COME ON, BROTHER, 300 00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:44,733 SHARE THE WEALTH. 301 00:07:44,733 --> 00:07:46,067 CALVIN, CONTINUE ON 302 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,433 WITH THE BEVERAGES. 303 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,967 THAT'S MY SON. 304 00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,067 HA! HA! HA! 305 00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:54,067 ELLA, I'M SURE I CAN 306 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,533 RECOGNIZE EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK. 307 00:07:58,767 --> 00:07:59,700 WELL, I 'D BETTER MAKE 308 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,700 MY ROUNDS. 309 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,500 THESE BOOKS DON'T SELL 310 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,733 THEMSELVES. 311 00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,200 SAVE ME A DANCE, CHOCOLATE DROP? 312 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,267 HA! HA! HA! 313 00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:10,800 CURTIS, HEY. THIS IS ANDREW. 314 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,967 YOU REMEMBER ANDREW. 315 00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:15,233 NO, I DON'T. 316 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,567 HEY, DEBBIE? 317 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,067 GIRL, IS THAT YOU? 318 00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,500 HA! HA! HA! 319 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,400 WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THAT? 320 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,433 [ GASPS ] 321 00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:31,600 HEY, POOH BEAR. 322 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,400 HA HA! 323 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,967 POOH BEAR, IT'S ME. 324 00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:36,833 CYNTHIA? 325 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,300 WELL, IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY. 326 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,133 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE 327 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,567 GOING TO RECOGNIZE ME. 328 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,833 OH, I RECOGNIZED YOU. 329 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:47,800 I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU. 330 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,633 WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? 331 00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:50,867 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 332 00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:52,067 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU BEEN STUNG 333 00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:53,800 BY A BEE. 334 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,067 CAN I GET YOU AN ICE PACK 335 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,400 OR ANTIHISTAMINE? 336 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,467 YOU'RE SO SILLY. 337 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:00,933 I HAD A LITTLE WORK DONE. 338 00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,100 SHH. 339 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,367 YOU LIKE? 340 00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,567 IT LOOKS...TIGHT. 341 00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,600 CAN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES? 342 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,700 WELL, IT HURTS WHEN I BLINK, 343 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,333 SO I TRY NOT TO. 344 00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:14,067 IT HURTS BOTH OF US 345 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,600 WHEN YOU DON'T. 346 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,067 DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE? 347 00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,767 HEY, BABY. HEY. 348 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,800 HA! HA! 349 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,567 THIS IS MY WIFE, ELLA. 350 00:09:20,567 --> 00:09:21,300 YOU REMEMBER ELLA. 351 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,667 CHILD, WE AIN'T MARRIED. 352 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,067 HA! HA! HA! 353 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,933 GO ON AND TALK TO CYNTHIA, 354 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,067 POOH BEAR. 355 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:27,833 I REMEMBER ELLA. 356 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,300 WE USED TO CHEER TOGETHER. 357 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,333 I KNOW. 358 00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:32,367 I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T CHEERED 359 00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:33,267 IN A WHILE. 360 00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:34,133 OH, I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T 361 00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,333 LOOKED IN A MIRROR IN A WHILE, 362 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,600 EITHER. 363 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,433 OHH, YOU STILL BITTER, GIRL. 364 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:40,367 YOU STILL BITTER FROM WHEN 365 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:43,067 I TOOK YOUR PLACE ON THE SQUAD. 366 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,367 I STOPPED CHEERING BECAUSE 367 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,067 I HAD A PULLED MUSCLE, BUT MY 368 00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,900 PULLED MUSCLE STILL WAS NEVER AS 369 00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,867 TIGHT AS YOUR PULLED FACE. 370 00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:50,800 IF THAT'S THE STORY THAT YOU 371 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,933 WANT TO TELL, THAT'S FINE. 372 00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:54,233 I CAN ALWAYS GO BACK 373 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,767 TO MY ORIGINAL SIZE. 374 00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:56,600 MM-HMM. 375 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,933 YOU, HOWEVER, CAN NEVER GO 376 00:09:57,933 --> 00:10:00,833 BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL FACE. 377 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,167 ANYWAY... 378 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:03,133 WHY DON'T YOU COME DANCE? 379 00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,133 COME ON. 380 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:04,933 OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY. 381 00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:05,633 THANK YOU, THOUGH. 382 00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:06,467 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 383 00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,533 GO ON OVER AND DANCE. 384 00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:10,133 GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, ELLA. 385 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:11,300 COME ON, NOW, 386 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,133 DON'T BE LIKE THAT. 387 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,500 I GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL. 388 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,667 LADY, NO MEANS NO, LADY! 389 00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,300 BE NICE. GO ON AND DANCE. 390 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:20,033 BE CAREFUL. STITCH MIGHT POP. 391 00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:20,700 LIKE WE USED TO, 392 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,033 NOT TOO FAST. NOT SO FAST. 393 00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:25,700 OH, THANK GOD. YOU FOUND HER. 394 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,100 SO I SAID I WAS SORRY, 395 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:27,767 JAZZY. 396 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:28,533 HOW LONG YOU GONNA GIVE ME 397 00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:29,567 THE SILENT TREATMENT? 398 00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:30,967 WELL, SHE'S PRETTY GOOD 399 00:10:30,967 --> 00:10:31,933 AT THAT. 400 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:32,900 ONE TIME, SHE DIDN'T SPEAK TO ME 401 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,900 FOR A WHOLE WEEK. 402 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,767 BEST WEEK OF MY WHOLE LIFE. 403 00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,667 MALIK, YOU'RE NOT HELPING. 404 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,067 I'M JUST SAYING. 405 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,100 JUST TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE 406 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,233 THIS UP TO YOU. 407 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,067 MY CLIENT SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE 408 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,400 A DIAMOND-STUDDED CELLPHONE AND 409 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,800 A PAIR OF SIZE-12 WORK BOOTS. 410 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:56,867 SHE DID NOT ASK YOU 411 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:57,567 FOR WORK BOOTS. 412 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:58,467 AND I'M NOT BUYING YOU NO 413 00:10:58,467 --> 00:11:00,167 DIAMOND-STUDDED CELLPHONE. 414 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,167 WELL, YOU DID LEAVE HER 415 00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,400 UNATTENDED IN A PUBLIC PLACE. 416 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,333 WITH NO MONEY TO CALL HOME. 417 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,200 HEY, IF SHE GETS A CELLPHONE, 418 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,600 I GET ONE, TOO, RIGHT? 419 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,233 I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU ANYPLACE. 420 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,233 DAD, BE PROACTIVE. 421 00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:13,733 PLAN AHEAD. 422 00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:14,833 'CAUSE YOU KNOW EVENTUALLY 423 00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:18,600 YOU WILL. 424 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,867 THAT'S SMOOTH. 425 00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,067 YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVE. 426 00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,067 OOH. LET'S DO IT TWO TIMES. 427 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,100 UNH! UNH! 428 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,700 ELLA, YOU NEED TO READ 429 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,067 CHAPTER 20 RIGHT NOW. 430 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:28,833 NOT NOW, NOT NOW. 431 00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:31,767 ELLA, IT'S ALL ABOUT HIS 432 00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,200 INTIMATE SEXUAL CONQUEST. 433 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,333 SO? 434 00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:38,333 SO IT'S ABOUT YOU. 435 00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:39,067 OH, NO. 436 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:41,067 YES! 437 00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:48,467 SEE? A NICE FAMILY DINNER. 438 00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:49,700 I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY 439 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,900 DOUBTS I CAN TAKE CARE OF 440 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,800 MY OWN KIDS. 441 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,633 CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING 442 00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:56,600 OVER HERE? 443 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,667 YOU GOT EVERYBODY OVER THERE 444 00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:58,767 LOOKING FOR THEIR COATS AND 445 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,300 CARS, AND TRYING TO CLOSE 446 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,233 THEY TABS. 447 00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:02,067 I'M ON BREAK. 448 00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,200 GET YOUR BEHIND OVER 449 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,867 TO THE HOUSE! 450 00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:10,900 [ GASPS ] 451 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,500 OOH, POOH BEAR! OOH. 452 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,867 IS THIS WHERE YOU WORK? 453 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,867 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 454 00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,300 I THOUGHT WHEN YOU SNUCK AWAY 455 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,500 THAT WAS FOR ME TO FOLLOW YOU. 456 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,633 NO! I WAS JUST SNEAKING AWAY. 457 00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:25,800 CALVIN, GET CYNTHIA'S CAR FIRST! 458 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,333 WOMAN, IF YOU DON'T STOP 459 00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,533 STALKING ME, I'M GONNA MELT 460 00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,900 ALL THE PLASTIC ON YOUR FACE. 461 00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,933 IT AIN'T WORKING. 462 00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:33,067 IT AIN'T WORKING. 463 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:36,300 THERE IT IS. 464 00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,200 IT WORKED! IT WORKED! 465 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,700 SHE'S AFRAID OF FIRE. 466 00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,900 IT'S AFRAID OF FIRE. 467 00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:42,567 [ COUGHING ] 468 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:44,767 UNCLE IS CRAZY. 469 00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:47,267 MALIK? IS IT TOO SPICY? 470 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,200 YOU NEED SOME WATER, SON? 471 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:49,967 WHAT IS IT? 472 00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:51,533 DAD, ARE THERE PEANUTS 473 00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:52,633 IN KUNG PAO CHICKEN? 474 00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:53,800 YEAH. 475 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,300 OH, SNAP! 476 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:57,300 YOU ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS! 477 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,600 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALMOST 478 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,467 KILLED MALIK! 479 00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:06,600 I'M NOT NEXT, AM I? 480 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,133 OH, AND FOR THE RECORD, JUST SO 481 00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:08,833 YOU WON'T KILL ME, 482 00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,733 I'M ALLERGIC TO STRAWBERRIES. 483 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,733 I KNOW THAT. 484 00:13:11,733 --> 00:13:12,867 AHA! 485 00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,200 IT'S NOT STRAWBERRIES, 486 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,267 IT'S BLUEBERRIES. 487 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:16,700 YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME, 488 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,067 AREN'T YOU? 489 00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:21,500 OH, DADDY, I DON'T WANT TO DIE! 490 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,500 WILL YOU STOP BEING 491 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,700 SO DRAMATIC? 492 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,867 OKAY, BUT IF MALIK DOES DIE, 493 00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:27,633 CAN WE GET A DOG? 494 00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,100 JAZZY. 495 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,200 OKAY. 496 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,233 WELL, I WOULD SURE HATE FOR 497 00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,567 AUNTIE ELLA TO FIND OUT THAT YOU 498 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:33,933 ABANDONED ME AT THE MOVIE 499 00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:35,433 THEATER, BURNED DOWN THE 500 00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,600 FIREHOUSE, AND ALMOST KILLED 501 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,067 YOUR ONLY SON, MALIK. 502 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,400 YOU NEED TO STOP TRYING 503 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,367 TO BLACKMAIL ME. 504 00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:44,367 HAVE IT YOUR WAY. 505 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,433 I'LL TAKE A POODLE. 506 00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:51,633 IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR MIXER 507 00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:52,567 WAS A SUCCESS. 508 00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:53,800 SHUT UP. 509 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:54,767 WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 510 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,067 SHUT UP. 511 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:56,967 OKAY, WELL, THE KIDS AND 512 00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,067 I HAD A GREAT TIME. 513 00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,867 SHUT UP! 514 00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:02,467 OKAY. 515 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,667 LOVE YOU. 516 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,333 OKAY, CURTIS. ARE YOU COMING? 517 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,267 NO. NO, BABY. 518 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,967 I GOT TO UNWIND A LITTLE BIT. 519 00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:12,067 HEY, ANDREW GAVE ME AN 520 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:13,567 AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF HIS BOOK, 521 00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:14,933 SO I'M GONNA READ A FEW PAGES 522 00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:16,067 BEFORE I TURN IN. 523 00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,933 HE DID WHAT? 524 00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:19,167 OKAY, WELL, LOOK. 525 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,633 WHY DO YOU WANT TO READ 526 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,200 THAT NONSENSE? 527 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,333 NONSENSE? 528 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,767 WASN'T HE YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND? 529 00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,067 NO. I MEAN, YES. 530 00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,367 I MEAN, CURTIS, I READ SOME OF 531 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,600 THOSE PAGES, AND IT'S JUST -- 532 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,433 UGH, IT'S NOT GOOD. YUCK! 533 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,333 WELL, I'M GONNA TAKE 534 00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,400 MY CHANCES. 535 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,967 SINCE MY CYNTHIA FANTASY TURNED 536 00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:36,633 INTO A NIGHTMARE AT THE WAX 537 00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,900 MUSEUM, I'M GONNA READ SOMEBODY 538 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,700 ELSE'S FANTASIES AND ENJOY IT. 539 00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:45,433 TRUST ME. YOU ALREADY HAVE. 540 00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:51,933 CURTIS, YOU HAVE BEEN UP 541 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:52,633 ALL NIGHT. 542 00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,867 YOU STILL READING THAT BOOK? 543 00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:55,300 YEAH. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 544 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,133 HEY, YOU KNOW, 545 00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:57,200 IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING. 546 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,067 I DOZED OFF, AND WHEN I WOKE UP, 547 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,600 CHAPTER 20 WAS MISSING. 548 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,567 OH, IMAGINE THAT. 549 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:03,667 [ CHUCKLES ] 550 00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:04,833 STRANGEST THING. 551 00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,367 THE WHOLE CHAPTER, HUH? 552 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:07,133 YEAH, IT WAS PROBABLY 553 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:07,967 A BAD COPY. 554 00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:08,933 OH. 555 00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:09,667 THANK GOD CALVIN HAD 556 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,067 AN EXTRA ONE. 557 00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:14,100 HEY. HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 558 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,733 DID YOU KNOW THIS GUY DATED TWO 559 00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:16,900 SETS OF TRIPLETS AT THE SAME 560 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,667 TIME AND NONE OF THE WOMEN 561 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,800 KNEW ABOUT EACH OTHER? 562 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,300 THAT'S A PLAYA! 563 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,067 REMIND ME OF MYSELF. HEH! 564 00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:24,567 WHOO, HOO, HOO. 565 00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,833 PLAY ON, PLAYA! 566 00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:27,500 MORNING. 567 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,500 MORNING. 568 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,900 GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY. 569 00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:30,800 GOOD MORNING. 570 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,067 DADDY, SHALL I CALL MALIK 571 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,467 DOWN FOR BREAKFAST? 572 00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:34,933 NO. HE'S, UH... 573 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:35,600 HE'S OUT. 574 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,633 I DROPPED HIM OFF AT KEVIN'S 575 00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:37,633 LAST NIGHT. 576 00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:38,533 REMEMBER? 577 00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:40,333 NO. HE'S AT THE -- 578 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:41,400 HEY, ANYBODY WANT BREAKFAST? 579 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,167 I'M COOKING BREAKFAST. 580 00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,433 ANYBODY WANT SOME BREAKFAST? 581 00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:45,633 YOU KNOW WHAT? 582 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,333 I WANT PANCAKES WITH CHOCOLATE 583 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,833 CHIPS AND WHIPPED CREAM, 584 00:15:48,833 --> 00:15:49,500 AND I WANT -- 585 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,233 WE'RE NOT COOKING PANCAKES. 586 00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:52,867 OH, REALLY? 587 00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:54,500 THEN I WANT PEANUTS. 588 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,433 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 589 00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:56,567 I COULD GO FOR SOME PANCAKES. 590 00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:57,600 ANYBODY WANT SOME PANCAKES? NO? 591 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,267 OKAY. 592 00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,700 C'MON, JAZMINE, LET'S GO. 593 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,100 HEY, I COULD GET IN 594 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:01,833 ON THEM PANCAKES. 595 00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:02,500 NO. 596 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,900 WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT SOME 597 00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,067 BURNT HAMBURGERS? 598 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:05,800 YOU KNOW WHAT, CALVIN? 599 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,633 YOU SHOULD GET SOME PANCAKES. 600 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,467 COME ON WITH US AND GET SOME 601 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,133 PANCAKES. 602 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:08,800 BYE, MAMA. 603 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,667 BYE, BABY. 604 00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,500 WHOO! GOOD GOOBILY GOO! 605 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,467 WHAT? 606 00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:15,633 ELLA, YOU GOT TO READ THIS. 607 00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:17,400 THIS GUY HAD SOME STRAIGHT 608 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,600 FREAKS. 609 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,267 SOME FREAKAZOIDS! 610 00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:22,167 FREAKARAMA MAMAS. 611 00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:23,733 OOH, I PROMISE, YOU, IF I'D HAVE 612 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,300 HAD JUST ONE WOMAN HE HAD, WHOO! 613 00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,300 BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR. 614 00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:36,567 GRACIOUS! WOW! 615 00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,633 SOOKIE, SOOKIE, WHAT A GOOD 616 00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:40,867 BOOKIE. 617 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,667 THAT BOOK RIGHT THERE IS HOT! 618 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,067 I HAD TO HOLD IT WITH OVEN MITTS 619 00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:48,133 WHEN I GOT TO CHAPTER 20. 620 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,933 YOU READ CHAPTER 20? 621 00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:52,767 HELL, YEAH. 622 00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:53,867 I WAS SWEATING SO MUCH, I THINK 623 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,700 I LOST 20 POUNDS. 624 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,533 OKAY, DID YOU READ ABOUT HIM 625 00:16:58,533 --> 00:16:59,500 HAVING SEX WITH THE WOMAN 626 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,067 IN WILSON HALL? 627 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,200 OF COURSE. 628 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,333 WHERE HE SAID SHE WAS HIS 629 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,533 GREATEST SEXUAL CONQUEST 630 00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:10,067 IN COLLEGE? 631 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,233 YES. 632 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:13,967 AND YOU'RE NOT UPSET? 633 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,567 UPSET ABOUT WHAT? 634 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,667 WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL? 635 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,400 ELLA USED TO LIVE ON THE 636 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,267 SECOND FLOOR OF WILSON HALL. 637 00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:24,133 WH-WHAT? WHAT? 638 00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,533 ELLA, THAT WAS YOU? 639 00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:29,100 TIED UP? UPSIDE DOWN? 640 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,733 CURTIS. 641 00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,733 WITH THE MONKEY WRENCH? 642 00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,267 WAIT A MINUTE. 643 00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:35,533 YOU DIDN'T LIVE ON NO SECOND 644 00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:39,533 FLOOR AT WILSON HALL. 645 00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:42,567 YOU DID. 646 00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:43,967 AHA! 647 00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,300 SURE DID! 648 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,867 YES, YOU DID. YES, YOU DID. 649 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:47,867 OHH. 650 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,833 OHH! 651 00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:56,100 OOPS. SORRY, GIRL. MY BAD. 652 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:57,533 I-I DON'T USE THE MONKEY 653 00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:58,867 WRENCH ANYMORE. 654 00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:01,133 I WAS YOUNG THEN... 655 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,600 TENDER...LIMBER. 656 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,567 MM-HMM. 657 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,167 SHE SLEPT WITH MY MAN! 658 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,333 YOU NASTY HEIFER. 659 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,300 NO MORE MIXERS. 660 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,933 OH, GOD, YOU HAD TO. 661 00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:15,800 WHERE YOU BEEN? 662 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,633 AFTER BREAKFAST, WE WENT TO 663 00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,267 THE MALL. 664 00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,600 WHERE'S MALIK? 665 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,467 HE AT KEVIN'S. 666 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,600 I GOT TO GO PICK HIM UP LATER. 667 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,167 KEVIN JUST CALLED HERE 668 00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:24,833 LOOKING FOR MALIK. 669 00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,367 WHAT'S GOING ON? 670 00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,300 HE HAD A LITTLE PEANUT 671 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,200 ALLERGY. 672 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,167 I MEAN, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, YOU 673 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,200 KNOW, I MEAN, BUT YOU GOT TO 674 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,933 PROMISE NOT TO FREAK OUT, OKAY? 675 00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:33,733 HE'S OKAY. 676 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:35,333 C.J., YOU KNOW THAT BOY IS 677 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,233 ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS. 678 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,967 NO, HE DOESN'T. 679 00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:42,200 HUH. WHERE IS MY NEPHEW? 680 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,933 UH...MALIK? 681 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:45,833 YES! 682 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,233 CAN YOU COME OUT HERE, 683 00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:48,067 PLEASE? 684 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,067 NO! 685 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:52,167 MALIK, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE! 686 00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:53,333 THAT CRAZY... 687 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,600 [ MUTTERING ] 688 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,167 AAH! CURTIS! 689 00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,267 [ YELP ] 690 00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:02,067 GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF HERE. 691 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,067 C.J.! 692 00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:04,567 HUH. 693 00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:05,533 I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T KNOW 694 00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:06,467 HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THESE KIDS. 695 00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:08,467 I DIDN'T DO THAT. 41447

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