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ELLA. I AM SO EXCITED.
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OOH, OOH!
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* OOH
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HEY, DOUGHBOY.
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HEY, WEAVY WONDER.
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FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DON'T
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WEAR WEAVES. I WEAR WIGS.
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WELL, EXCUSE ME.
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WIGGY WONDER.
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EITHER WAY, IT'S NOT YOUR HAIR.
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I HAVE RECEIPTS THAT SAY
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OTHERWISE.
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OKAY, CURTIS, WHY CAN'T WE
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JUST SEE THESE PEOPLE AT THE
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REUNION TOMORROW?
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I ALREADY SAID, I DON'T WANT TO
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HAVE THIS STUPID MIXER.
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ELLA, ELLA, COME ON, BABY.
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COME ON.
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I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS MORE
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PERSONAL.
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NOW, YOU GET TO SEE ALL YOUR OLD
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FRIENDS,
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AND I GET TO SEE CYNTHIA.
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OH!
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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SO IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE ON THAT
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SILLY JERSEY?
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I'M WEARING THE JERSEY SO
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EVERYONE CAN REMEMBER
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I WAS THE NUMBER-ONE JOCK.
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NO, YOU WERE THE NUMBER-ONE
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JERK.
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ELLA, WHY DON'T YOU WANT
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TO SEE EVERYBODY?
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BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE ANY OF
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THOSE PEOPLE WHEN WE WERE IN
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COLLEGE.
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WELL, I'M LOOKING FORWARD
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TO IT.
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I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO ALL
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BECAME OLD, FAT, AND BORING...
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OTHER THAN CURTIS.
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AT LEAST I GOT MY OWN HAIR.
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SO DO I.
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ELLA, WHICH ONE OF THESE WIGS
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GOES WITH MY OUTFIT?
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THE ONE THAT COVERS YOUR FACE
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THE MOST.
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CURTIS, STOP IT, AND GO TAKE
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THAT TIGHT JERSEY OFF.
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YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME!
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BESIDES...
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I BET YOU CYNTHIA WILL LIKE IT.
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SAY HER NAME ONE MORE TIME,
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YOU HEAR?
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CYNTHIA. CYNTHIA. CYNTHIA.
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CYNTHIA.
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WHO IS CYNTHIA?
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YOU KNOW, THE TIRED OLD
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CHEERLEADER.
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HONEY, HE THINKS SHE STILL WANT
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HIM.
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ALWAYS HAS...AND ALWAYS WILL.
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BUT, BABY, DON'T YOU WORRY.
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YOU WON THE PRIZE.
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YEAH, THE BIG BEAR FULL
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OF S--
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AH.
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STUFF.
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HUH.
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LET ME GO GET DRESSED.
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BYE.
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HEY. SO YOU ALL SET?
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FOR WHAT?
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WE HAVING THE REUNION MIXER
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TONIGHT.
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OH, THAT'S TONIGHT?
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MAN, I WAS GONNA WATCH THE
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HORROR-MOVIE MARATHON.
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DON'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF THAT
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WHEN CLARETHA'S OVER HERE?
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COME ON, MAN, YOU GOT TO GET UP
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OUT OF HERE.
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COME ON, UNC, ME AND THE
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KIDS WILL STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY,
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PROMISE.
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I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA STAY OUT
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OF MY WAY BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA
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BE OVER AT THE FIREHOUSE.
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NOW, YOU KNOW HE'S NOT ALL
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THAT GREAT WITH THEM BY HIMSELF.
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SO MAYBE WE NEED TO GET HIM
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A SITTER.
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THE GUYS ARE GONNA BE OVER
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THERE.
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THEY CAN HELP HIM.
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I'M THEIR FATHER.
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I DON'T NEED ANY HELP, OKAY?
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WE'LL BE FINE.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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SURE YOU WILL.
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WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?
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MY CELL NUMBER...
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THE NUMBER TO THE HOSPITAL...
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OOH, RED CROSS.
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911. OKAY.
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FEMA.
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CROSS THAT ONE OUT.
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RIGHT.
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SOCIAL SERVICES.
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AH! AND IN CASE OF A FIRE--
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I'LL BE AT THE FIREHOUSE.
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I'LL WRITE THAT NUMBER DOWN,
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ANYWAY.
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I GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU.
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AUNT ELLA AND UNCLE CURTIS ARE
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HAVING A PARTY HERE TONIGHT,
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SO WE GOT TO GO OVER
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TO THE FIREHOUSE.
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ALL NIGHT?
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YEP.
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WELL, WHO'S GONNA WATCH US?
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ME.
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BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING
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GOES WRONG?
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MALIK, I'M A FIREFIGHTER.
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PEOPLE CALL ME
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WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.
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WATCHING KIDS IS DIFFERENT
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FROM GETTING CATS OUT OF TREES.
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DAD, CAN YOU GIVE US
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A SECOND?
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SURE.
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YOU'RE STILL STANDING THERE.
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OH, YOU WANT ME TO --
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OKAY.
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DIDN'T OUR PRINCIPAL SAY THAT
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WE CAN ALWAYS CALL HER
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IN A TIME OF A CRISIS?
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WELL, IF SHE DOESN'T
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THINK THIS IS A CRISIS,
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SHE'S GONNA GIVE US DETENTION.
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OH, NO.
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I AIN'T DOING NO DETENTION.
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IT'S GET DETENTION AND LIVE,
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OR RISK OUR LIVES WITH DAD.
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AND IF IT COMES DOWN TO ONE OF
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US, IT'S GONNA BE YOU.
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[SQUEAK]
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SO I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
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LITTLE SISTER.
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HEY, AIN'T NOBODY RISKING
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THEIR LIVES, OKAY?
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I GOT THIS.
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SOMETHING TELL ME THIS AIN'T
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GONNA END TOO GOOD.
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MAN, DAD, THAT MOVIE WAS
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HARD!
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HEY, HEY, REMEMBER THE PART
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WHERE THE DUDE DID THE BACKFLIP
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OFF THE ROOF? OOH!
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THAT WAS TOO TIGHT!
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HA! HA!
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OH, OH, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
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"ACCIDENTS HAPPEN"?
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YEAH.
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OH, I LOVED THAT MOVIE.
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HEY, WHAT ABOUT THE PART
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WHERE THE CAR FLIPPED OVER,
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AND IT FELL OFF THE CLIFF,
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AND THEN IT EXPLODED?
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[ WHISTLE ]
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HA! HA!
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THAT WAS SO COOL!
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SO, UH, WHERE'S JAZMINE?
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SHE RIGHT --
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JAZZY?
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OH!
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OH, WE LEFT HER AT THE THEATER!
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OOH!
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I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
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SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVEN'T
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CHANGED A BIT.
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I KNOW. I KNOW.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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LAMONT?
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MAN, IF I'D HAVE KNOWN YOU STILL
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HAD A JHERI CURL, I NEVER
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WOULD'VE INVITED YOU.
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DRIPPING JUICE ALL --
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GO GET THE PLASTIC WRAP.
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PUT YOUR HEAD UP, MAN.
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YOU DRIPPING JUICE ALL OVER
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MY CHAIR.
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CURTIS, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?
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WHAT YOU THINK I'M GONNA DO?
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WE CAN'T DO THIS.
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BABY, WRAP THE DOGGONE THING.
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OH, CURTIS.
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PUT YOUR HEAD BACK.
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OKAY. DON'T GET ME.
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DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE.
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I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY STILL
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SOLD CURL ACTIVATOR.
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ELLA, WHO IS THAT?
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I DON'T KNOW.
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I THOUGHT YOU INVITED HER.
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NO.
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GIRL, HER LIPS LOOK SHE COULD BE
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USED FOR A FLOATATION DEVICE.
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CURTIS, CURTIS, CURTIS.
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WHO IS THAT WOMAN RIGHT THERE?
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I DON'T KNOW,
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AND I DON'T CARE.
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ALL I KNOW IS, CYNTHIA DIDN'T
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SHOW UP.
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YOU THINK I'M PLAYING WITH
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YOU, DON'T YOU?
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WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SAYING
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THAT WOMAN'S NAME?
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I'M JUST SAYING, SHE RSVP'd.
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I DON'T KNOW WHY
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SHE DIDN'T SHOW UP.
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MAYBE I SHOULD CALL HER.
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SEE? I DIDN'T SAY HER NAME.
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GET AWAY FROM ME.
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GET AWAY FROM ME.
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ELLA.
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WHO IS THAT?
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I DON'T REMEMBER HIM FROM
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SCHOOL, AND HE IS FINE.
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OHH, GIRL, THAT'S ANDREW.
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OH, AND HE DOES LOOK GOOD.
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OOH, IF HE LOOKED THAT GOOD
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WHEN YOU WERE DATING HIM, I'M
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SURE YOU WOULD'VE NEVER MARRIED
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THE BIG-BELLIED TROLL.
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EXCUSE ME, OLD PEOPLE.
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SOMEBODY DRIVING A 1973
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BABY-BLUE CONVERTIBLE WITH A
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DENT ON THE PASSENGER SIDE AND A
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SHOWER CAP ON THE HEADREST AND A
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LICENSE PLATE READING, "JUICY,"
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YOUR CAR IS BEING TOWED.
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DIDN'T YOU PARK THE CAR?
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YEP, BUT HE DIDN'T LEAVE ME
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A TIP.
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MAN, FORGET THIS.
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I AIN'T VALETING NO MORE.
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BAR'S OPEN, 4-DRINK MINIMUM,
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CASH ONLY.
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ELLA?
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I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.
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LOOK AT YOU LIGHTING UP THE ROOM
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WITH YOUR BEAUTY.
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HA! HA! HA!
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WHOO, OOH, OOH!
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HA! HA!
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THANK YOU, ANDREW.
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HA! HA! HA!
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YOU DON'T LOOK TOO SHABBY
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YOURSELF.
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HA! HA!
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I KNOW.
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HA! HA! HA!
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IT'S 'CAUSE I'M RICH!
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WELL, JUST HOW RICH
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ARE WE TALKING?
270
00:06:58,367 --> 00:06:59,833
PRIVATE-HOUSE RICH
271
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:02,267
OR PRIVATE-ISLAND RICH?
272
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,100
HELLO TO YOU, TOO, CLARETHA.
273
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,167
[ CHUCKLES ]
274
00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:08,567
WELL, I WROTE A BEST-SELLER.
275
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:09,767
"I CAME..."
276
00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:10,433
MM-HMM.
277
00:07:10,433 --> 00:07:11,233
"I SAW..."
278
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,100
THAT'S WHAT I DID.
279
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,267
"I CONQUERED."
280
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:14,133
YES.
281
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,833
IT'S BASED ON MY CONQUESTS
282
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:18,367
IN MY, UH, COLLEGE YEARS.
283
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,700
IT ALSO INCLUDES
284
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,400
ALL MY INTIMATE EXPERIENCES.
285
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,300
OOH. DO TELL.
286
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,067
AND I DO.
287
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:26,933
HA! HA! HA!
288
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:28,833
AM I IN THAT BOOK?
289
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:30,933
WELL, UH, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
290
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,867
HAVE TO READ IT TO FIND OUT.
291
00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:33,667
OOH.
292
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:36,533
AH. $14.95.
293
00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:37,967
MOM, YOU CAN BUY MINE
294
00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:39,067
FOR $10.
295
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:40,200
HEY, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT
296
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:40,867
FROM?
297
00:07:40,867 --> 00:07:41,567
YOU HAD A WHOLE BOX
298
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,600
IN YOUR CAR.
299
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,433
COME ON, BROTHER,
300
00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:44,733
SHARE THE WEALTH.
301
00:07:44,733 --> 00:07:46,067
CALVIN, CONTINUE ON
302
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,433
WITH THE BEVERAGES.
303
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,967
THAT'S MY SON.
304
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,067
HA! HA! HA!
305
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:54,067
ELLA, I'M SURE I CAN
306
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,533
RECOGNIZE EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK.
307
00:07:58,767 --> 00:07:59,700
WELL, I 'D BETTER MAKE
308
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:00,700
MY ROUNDS.
309
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,500
THESE BOOKS DON'T SELL
310
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,733
THEMSELVES.
311
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,200
SAVE ME A DANCE, CHOCOLATE DROP?
312
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,267
HA! HA! HA!
313
00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:10,800
CURTIS, HEY. THIS IS ANDREW.
314
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,967
YOU REMEMBER ANDREW.
315
00:08:12,967 --> 00:08:15,233
NO, I DON'T.
316
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,567
HEY, DEBBIE?
317
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,067
GIRL, IS THAT YOU?
318
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,500
HA! HA! HA!
319
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,400
WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THAT?
320
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,433
[ GASPS ]
321
00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:31,600
HEY, POOH BEAR.
322
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,400
HA HA!
323
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,967
POOH BEAR, IT'S ME.
324
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:36,833
CYNTHIA?
325
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,300
WELL, IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY.
326
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,133
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE
327
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,567
GOING TO RECOGNIZE ME.
328
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,833
OH, I RECOGNIZED YOU.
329
00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:47,800
I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU.
330
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,633
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?
331
00:08:49,633 --> 00:08:50,867
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
332
00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:52,067
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU BEEN STUNG
333
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:53,800
BY A BEE.
334
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,067
CAN I GET YOU AN ICE PACK
335
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,400
OR ANTIHISTAMINE?
336
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,467
YOU'RE SO SILLY.
337
00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:00,933
I HAD A LITTLE WORK DONE.
338
00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,100
SHH.
339
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,367
YOU LIKE?
340
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,567
IT LOOKS...TIGHT.
341
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,600
CAN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES?
342
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,700
WELL, IT HURTS WHEN I BLINK,
343
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,333
SO I TRY NOT TO.
344
00:09:13,333 --> 00:09:14,067
IT HURTS BOTH OF US
345
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,600
WHEN YOU DON'T.
346
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,067
DO YOU KNOW MY WIFE?
347
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:18,767
HEY, BABY. HEY.
348
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:19,800
HA! HA!
349
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,567
THIS IS MY WIFE, ELLA.
350
00:09:20,567 --> 00:09:21,300
YOU REMEMBER ELLA.
351
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,667
CHILD, WE AIN'T MARRIED.
352
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,067
HA! HA! HA!
353
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:25,933
GO ON AND TALK TO CYNTHIA,
354
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,067
POOH BEAR.
355
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:27,833
I REMEMBER ELLA.
356
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,300
WE USED TO CHEER TOGETHER.
357
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,333
I KNOW.
358
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:32,367
I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T CHEERED
359
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:33,267
IN A WHILE.
360
00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:34,133
OH, I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T
361
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,333
LOOKED IN A MIRROR IN A WHILE,
362
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,600
EITHER.
363
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,433
OHH, YOU STILL BITTER, GIRL.
364
00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:40,367
YOU STILL BITTER FROM WHEN
365
00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:43,067
I TOOK YOUR PLACE ON THE SQUAD.
366
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,367
I STOPPED CHEERING BECAUSE
367
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,067
I HAD A PULLED MUSCLE, BUT MY
368
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,900
PULLED MUSCLE STILL WAS NEVER AS
369
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,867
TIGHT AS YOUR PULLED FACE.
370
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:50,800
IF THAT'S THE STORY THAT YOU
371
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,933
WANT TO TELL, THAT'S FINE.
372
00:09:52,933 --> 00:09:54,233
I CAN ALWAYS GO BACK
373
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:55,767
TO MY ORIGINAL SIZE.
374
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:56,600
MM-HMM.
375
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,933
YOU, HOWEVER, CAN NEVER GO
376
00:09:57,933 --> 00:10:00,833
BACK TO YOUR ORIGINAL FACE.
377
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,167
ANYWAY...
378
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:03,133
WHY DON'T YOU COME DANCE?
379
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,133
COME ON.
380
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:04,933
OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
381
00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:05,633
THANK YOU, THOUGH.
382
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:06,467
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
383
00:10:06,467 --> 00:10:08,533
GO ON OVER AND DANCE.
384
00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:10,133
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, ELLA.
385
00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:11,300
COME ON, NOW,
386
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,133
DON'T BE LIKE THAT.
387
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:13,500
I GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL.
388
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,667
LADY, NO MEANS NO, LADY!
389
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,300
BE NICE. GO ON AND DANCE.
390
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:20,033
BE CAREFUL. STITCH MIGHT POP.
391
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:20,700
LIKE WE USED TO,
392
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,033
NOT TOO FAST. NOT SO FAST.
393
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:25,700
OH, THANK GOD. YOU FOUND HER.
394
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,100
SO I SAID I WAS SORRY,
395
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:27,767
JAZZY.
396
00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:28,533
HOW LONG YOU GONNA GIVE ME
397
00:10:28,533 --> 00:10:29,567
THE SILENT TREATMENT?
398
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:30,967
WELL, SHE'S PRETTY GOOD
399
00:10:30,967 --> 00:10:31,933
AT THAT.
400
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:32,900
ONE TIME, SHE DIDN'T SPEAK TO ME
401
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,900
FOR A WHOLE WEEK.
402
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,767
BEST WEEK OF MY WHOLE LIFE.
403
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,667
MALIK, YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
404
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,067
I'M JUST SAYING.
405
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,100
JUST TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE
406
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,233
THIS UP TO YOU.
407
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,067
MY CLIENT SAYS SHE WOULD LIKE
408
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,400
A DIAMOND-STUDDED CELLPHONE AND
409
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,800
A PAIR OF SIZE-12 WORK BOOTS.
410
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:56,867
SHE DID NOT ASK YOU
411
00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:57,567
FOR WORK BOOTS.
412
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:58,467
AND I'M NOT BUYING YOU NO
413
00:10:58,467 --> 00:11:00,167
DIAMOND-STUDDED CELLPHONE.
414
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,167
WELL, YOU DID LEAVE HER
415
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,400
UNATTENDED IN A PUBLIC PLACE.
416
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,333
WITH NO MONEY TO CALL HOME.
417
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,200
HEY, IF SHE GETS A CELLPHONE,
418
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,600
I GET ONE, TOO, RIGHT?
419
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,233
I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU ANYPLACE.
420
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,233
DAD, BE PROACTIVE.
421
00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:13,733
PLAN AHEAD.
422
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:14,833
'CAUSE YOU KNOW EVENTUALLY
423
00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:18,600
YOU WILL.
424
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,867
THAT'S SMOOTH.
425
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,067
YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVE.
426
00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,067
OOH. LET'S DO IT TWO TIMES.
427
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,100
UNH! UNH!
428
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,700
ELLA, YOU NEED TO READ
429
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,067
CHAPTER 20 RIGHT NOW.
430
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:28,833
NOT NOW, NOT NOW.
431
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:31,767
ELLA, IT'S ALL ABOUT HIS
432
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,200
INTIMATE SEXUAL CONQUEST.
433
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,333
SO?
434
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:38,333
SO IT'S ABOUT YOU.
435
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:39,067
OH, NO.
436
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:41,067
YES!
437
00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:48,467
SEE? A NICE FAMILY DINNER.
438
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:49,700
I DON'T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY
439
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,900
DOUBTS I CAN TAKE CARE OF
440
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,800
MY OWN KIDS.
441
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,633
CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
442
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:56,600
OVER HERE?
443
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,667
YOU GOT EVERYBODY OVER THERE
444
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:58,767
LOOKING FOR THEIR COATS AND
445
00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,300
CARS, AND TRYING TO CLOSE
446
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,233
THEY TABS.
447
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:02,067
I'M ON BREAK.
448
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,200
GET YOUR BEHIND OVER
449
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,867
TO THE HOUSE!
450
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:10,900
[ GASPS ]
451
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,500
OOH, POOH BEAR! OOH.
452
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,867
IS THIS WHERE YOU WORK?
453
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,867
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
454
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:17,300
I THOUGHT WHEN YOU SNUCK AWAY
455
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:18,500
THAT WAS FOR ME TO FOLLOW YOU.
456
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:21,633
NO! I WAS JUST SNEAKING AWAY.
457
00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:25,800
CALVIN, GET CYNTHIA'S CAR FIRST!
458
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,333
WOMAN, IF YOU DON'T STOP
459
00:12:27,333 --> 00:12:28,533
STALKING ME, I'M GONNA MELT
460
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,900
ALL THE PLASTIC ON YOUR FACE.
461
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,933
IT AIN'T WORKING.
462
00:12:31,933 --> 00:12:33,067
IT AIN'T WORKING.
463
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:36,300
THERE IT IS.
464
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,200
IT WORKED! IT WORKED!
465
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,700
SHE'S AFRAID OF FIRE.
466
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,900
IT'S AFRAID OF FIRE.
467
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:42,567
[ COUGHING ]
468
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:44,767
UNCLE IS CRAZY.
469
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:47,267
MALIK? IS IT TOO SPICY?
470
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,200
YOU NEED SOME WATER, SON?
471
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:49,967
WHAT IS IT?
472
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:51,533
DAD, ARE THERE PEANUTS
473
00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:52,633
IN KUNG PAO CHICKEN?
474
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:53,800
YEAH.
475
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,300
OH, SNAP!
476
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:57,300
YOU ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS!
477
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,600
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALMOST
478
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,467
KILLED MALIK!
479
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:06,600
I'M NOT NEXT, AM I?
480
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,133
OH, AND FOR THE RECORD, JUST SO
481
00:13:08,133 --> 00:13:08,833
YOU WON'T KILL ME,
482
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,733
I'M ALLERGIC TO STRAWBERRIES.
483
00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:11,733
I KNOW THAT.
484
00:13:11,733 --> 00:13:12,867
AHA!
485
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:14,200
IT'S NOT STRAWBERRIES,
486
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,267
IT'S BLUEBERRIES.
487
00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:16,700
YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME,
488
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,067
AREN'T YOU?
489
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:21,500
OH, DADDY, I DON'T WANT TO DIE!
490
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,500
WILL YOU STOP BEING
491
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,700
SO DRAMATIC?
492
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,867
OKAY, BUT IF MALIK DOES DIE,
493
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:27,633
CAN WE GET A DOG?
494
00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:29,100
JAZZY.
495
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,200
OKAY.
496
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,233
WELL, I WOULD SURE HATE FOR
497
00:13:31,233 --> 00:13:32,567
AUNTIE ELLA TO FIND OUT THAT YOU
498
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:33,933
ABANDONED ME AT THE MOVIE
499
00:13:33,933 --> 00:13:35,433
THEATER, BURNED DOWN THE
500
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,600
FIREHOUSE, AND ALMOST KILLED
501
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,067
YOUR ONLY SON, MALIK.
502
00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,400
YOU NEED TO STOP TRYING
503
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,367
TO BLACKMAIL ME.
504
00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:44,367
HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
505
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,433
I'LL TAKE A POODLE.
506
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:51,633
IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR MIXER
507
00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:52,567
WAS A SUCCESS.
508
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:53,800
SHUT UP.
509
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:54,767
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
510
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,067
SHUT UP.
511
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:56,967
OKAY, WELL, THE KIDS AND
512
00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,067
I HAD A GREAT TIME.
513
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,867
SHUT UP!
514
00:13:59,867 --> 00:14:02,467
OKAY.
515
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,667
LOVE YOU.
516
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:08,333
OKAY, CURTIS. ARE YOU COMING?
517
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,267
NO. NO, BABY.
518
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,967
I GOT TO UNWIND A LITTLE BIT.
519
00:14:10,967 --> 00:14:12,067
HEY, ANDREW GAVE ME AN
520
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:13,567
AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF HIS BOOK,
521
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:14,933
SO I'M GONNA READ A FEW PAGES
522
00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:16,067
BEFORE I TURN IN.
523
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:17,933
HE DID WHAT?
524
00:14:17,933 --> 00:14:19,167
OKAY, WELL, LOOK.
525
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,633
WHY DO YOU WANT TO READ
526
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,200
THAT NONSENSE?
527
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,333
NONSENSE?
528
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,767
WASN'T HE YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND?
529
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,067
NO. I MEAN, YES.
530
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,367
I MEAN, CURTIS, I READ SOME OF
531
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,600
THOSE PAGES, AND IT'S JUST --
532
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,433
UGH, IT'S NOT GOOD. YUCK!
533
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,333
WELL, I'M GONNA TAKE
534
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,400
MY CHANCES.
535
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,967
SINCE MY CYNTHIA FANTASY TURNED
536
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:36,633
INTO A NIGHTMARE AT THE WAX
537
00:14:36,633 --> 00:14:38,900
MUSEUM, I'M GONNA READ SOMEBODY
538
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,700
ELSE'S FANTASIES AND ENJOY IT.
539
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:45,433
TRUST ME. YOU ALREADY HAVE.
540
00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:51,933
CURTIS, YOU HAVE BEEN UP
541
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:52,633
ALL NIGHT.
542
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,867
YOU STILL READING THAT BOOK?
543
00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:55,300
YEAH. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
544
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,133
HEY, YOU KNOW,
545
00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:57,200
IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING.
546
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,067
I DOZED OFF, AND WHEN I WOKE UP,
547
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,600
CHAPTER 20 WAS MISSING.
548
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,567
OH, IMAGINE THAT.
549
00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:03,667
[ CHUCKLES ]
550
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:04,833
STRANGEST THING.
551
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,367
THE WHOLE CHAPTER, HUH?
552
00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:07,133
YEAH, IT WAS PROBABLY
553
00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:07,967
A BAD COPY.
554
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:08,933
OH.
555
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:09,667
THANK GOD CALVIN HAD
556
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,067
AN EXTRA ONE.
557
00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:14,100
HEY. HEY, CHECK THIS OUT.
558
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,733
DID YOU KNOW THIS GUY DATED TWO
559
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:16,900
SETS OF TRIPLETS AT THE SAME
560
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,667
TIME AND NONE OF THE WOMEN
561
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,800
KNEW ABOUT EACH OTHER?
562
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,300
THAT'S A PLAYA!
563
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,067
REMIND ME OF MYSELF. HEH!
564
00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:24,567
WHOO, HOO, HOO.
565
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,833
PLAY ON, PLAYA!
566
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:27,500
MORNING.
567
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,500
MORNING.
568
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,900
GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
569
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:30,800
GOOD MORNING.
570
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,067
DADDY, SHALL I CALL MALIK
571
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,467
DOWN FOR BREAKFAST?
572
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:34,933
NO. HE'S, UH...
573
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:35,600
HE'S OUT.
574
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,633
I DROPPED HIM OFF AT KEVIN'S
575
00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:37,633
LAST NIGHT.
576
00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:38,533
REMEMBER?
577
00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:40,333
NO. HE'S AT THE --
578
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:41,400
HEY, ANYBODY WANT BREAKFAST?
579
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,167
I'M COOKING BREAKFAST.
580
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:44,433
ANYBODY WANT SOME BREAKFAST?
581
00:15:44,433 --> 00:15:45,633
YOU KNOW WHAT?
582
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,333
I WANT PANCAKES WITH CHOCOLATE
583
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,833
CHIPS AND WHIPPED CREAM,
584
00:15:48,833 --> 00:15:49,500
AND I WANT --
585
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,233
WE'RE NOT COOKING PANCAKES.
586
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:52,867
OH, REALLY?
587
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:54,500
THEN I WANT PEANUTS.
588
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,433
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
589
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:56,567
I COULD GO FOR SOME PANCAKES.
590
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:57,600
ANYBODY WANT SOME PANCAKES? NO?
591
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,267
OKAY.
592
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,700
C'MON, JAZMINE, LET'S GO.
593
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,100
HEY, I COULD GET IN
594
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:01,833
ON THEM PANCAKES.
595
00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:02,500
NO.
596
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,900
WELL, THEN, HOW ABOUT SOME
597
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,067
BURNT HAMBURGERS?
598
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:05,800
YOU KNOW WHAT, CALVIN?
599
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,633
YOU SHOULD GET SOME PANCAKES.
600
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,467
COME ON WITH US AND GET SOME
601
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,133
PANCAKES.
602
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:08,800
BYE, MAMA.
603
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,667
BYE, BABY.
604
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,500
WHOO! GOOD GOOBILY GOO!
605
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,467
WHAT?
606
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:15,633
ELLA, YOU GOT TO READ THIS.
607
00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:17,400
THIS GUY HAD SOME STRAIGHT
608
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,600
FREAKS.
609
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,267
SOME FREAKAZOIDS!
610
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:22,167
FREAKARAMA MAMAS.
611
00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:23,733
OOH, I PROMISE, YOU, IF I'D HAVE
612
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,300
HAD JUST ONE WOMAN HE HAD, WHOO!
613
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,300
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR.
614
00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:36,567
GRACIOUS! WOW!
615
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,633
SOOKIE, SOOKIE, WHAT A GOOD
616
00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:40,867
BOOKIE.
617
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,667
THAT BOOK RIGHT THERE IS HOT!
618
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,067
I HAD TO HOLD IT WITH OVEN MITTS
619
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:48,133
WHEN I GOT TO CHAPTER 20.
620
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,933
YOU READ CHAPTER 20?
621
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:52,767
HELL, YEAH.
622
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:53,867
I WAS SWEATING SO MUCH, I THINK
623
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,700
I LOST 20 POUNDS.
624
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,533
OKAY, DID YOU READ ABOUT HIM
625
00:16:58,533 --> 00:16:59,500
HAVING SEX WITH THE WOMAN
626
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,067
IN WILSON HALL?
627
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,200
OF COURSE.
628
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,333
WHERE HE SAID SHE WAS HIS
629
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,533
GREATEST SEXUAL CONQUEST
630
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:10,067
IN COLLEGE?
631
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,233
YES.
632
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:13,967
AND YOU'RE NOT UPSET?
633
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,567
UPSET ABOUT WHAT?
634
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,667
WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL?
635
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,400
ELLA USED TO LIVE ON THE
636
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,267
SECOND FLOOR OF WILSON HALL.
637
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:24,133
WH-WHAT? WHAT?
638
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,533
ELLA, THAT WAS YOU?
639
00:17:26,533 --> 00:17:29,100
TIED UP? UPSIDE DOWN?
640
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:30,733
CURTIS.
641
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:32,733
WITH THE MONKEY WRENCH?
642
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,267
WAIT A MINUTE.
643
00:17:34,267 --> 00:17:35,533
YOU DIDN'T LIVE ON NO SECOND
644
00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:39,533
FLOOR AT WILSON HALL.
645
00:17:39,533 --> 00:17:42,567
YOU DID.
646
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:43,967
AHA!
647
00:17:43,967 --> 00:17:45,300
SURE DID!
648
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,867
YES, YOU DID. YES, YOU DID.
649
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:47,867
OHH.
650
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,833
OHH!
651
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:56,100
OOPS. SORRY, GIRL. MY BAD.
652
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:57,533
I-I DON'T USE THE MONKEY
653
00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:58,867
WRENCH ANYMORE.
654
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:01,133
I WAS YOUNG THEN...
655
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,600
TENDER...LIMBER.
656
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,567
MM-HMM.
657
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,167
SHE SLEPT WITH MY MAN!
658
00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,333
YOU NASTY HEIFER.
659
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,300
NO MORE MIXERS.
660
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,933
OH, GOD, YOU HAD TO.
661
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:15,800
WHERE YOU BEEN?
662
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:16,633
AFTER BREAKFAST, WE WENT TO
663
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,267
THE MALL.
664
00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,600
WHERE'S MALIK?
665
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,467
HE AT KEVIN'S.
666
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,600
I GOT TO GO PICK HIM UP LATER.
667
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,167
KEVIN JUST CALLED HERE
668
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:24,833
LOOKING FOR MALIK.
669
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,367
WHAT'S GOING ON?
670
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,300
HE HAD A LITTLE PEANUT
671
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,200
ALLERGY.
672
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,167
I MEAN, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, YOU
673
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,200
KNOW, I MEAN, BUT YOU GOT TO
674
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,933
PROMISE NOT TO FREAK OUT, OKAY?
675
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:33,733
HE'S OKAY.
676
00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:35,333
C.J., YOU KNOW THAT BOY IS
677
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,233
ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.
678
00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:38,967
NO, HE DOESN'T.
679
00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:42,200
HUH. WHERE IS MY NEPHEW?
680
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,933
UH...MALIK?
681
00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:45,833
YES!
682
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,233
CAN YOU COME OUT HERE,
683
00:18:47,233 --> 00:18:48,067
PLEASE?
684
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,067
NO!
685
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:52,167
MALIK, GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!
686
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:53,333
THAT CRAZY...
687
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,600
[ MUTTERING ]
688
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,167
AAH! CURTIS!
689
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,267
[ YELP ]
690
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:02,067
GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF HERE.
691
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,067
C.J.!
692
00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:04,567
HUH.
693
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:05,533
I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T KNOW
694
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:06,467
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THESE KIDS.
695
00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:08,467
I DIDN'T DO THAT.
41447
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