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Keep laughing.
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Keep laughing.
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K-keep laughing!
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Curtis!
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Don't laugh.
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It ain't nothing funny.
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What is going on?
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Pops got a speeding ticket
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Going 80 miles an hour.
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Then -- then he ran a red light
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And went the wrong way down a
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One-way street.
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Curtis, how do you get a
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Speeding ticket on your way to
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A fire?
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Oh, no, no, no.
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He wasn't on his way to a fire.
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He was going to buy some
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Doughnuts.
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[ chuckles ]
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Them cops was mad that I got
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There before they did.
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Oh, baby, you deserve this
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Ticket.
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Ought to be ashamed of yourself.
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No, he ought to be ashamed
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Of himself.
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Do you know while that cop was
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Writing me a ticket, his partner
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Was taking all the doughnuts
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With the sprinkles on it?
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That's my favorite one with the
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Sprinkles.
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Everybody know that.
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Pops, he was doing his job.
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No, he wasn't doing his job.
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That ain't his job, taking
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Sprinkled doughnuts.
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Curtis, calm down, baby.
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That's easy for you to say,
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Ella.
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You ain't the one that's got to
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Take online traffic school.
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Pop, you don't have to do
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It.
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You can just pay the ticket.
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And you can just get out.
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How about that?
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I'm telling you, calvin, it seem
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Like they would extend a little
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Professional courtesy to a
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Fireman.
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Hey, baby, they probably
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Would if you were speeding for
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Professional reasons.
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Yeah, and a bear claw ain't
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One of 'em.
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I got your bear claw.
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Calvin!
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Curtis! Whoa, baby!
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Oh, ho-ho-ho!
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To complete online traffic
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School, please answer the
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Following questions for
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Identity verification.
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What is your favorite color?
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That's easy. That's easy.
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Blue.
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What is your favorite food?
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Uh, that's easy -- pork chops
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And mac and cheese and collard
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Greens and catfish fried hard.
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Please list only one food
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Item.
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[ sighs ]
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They make me waste all my
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Strength trying to type.
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Okay.
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Pork chops -- just pork chops.
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What is your weight?
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What that got to do with the
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Test?
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I see why.
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What is the name of your
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Childhood pet?
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Oh. Stinky.
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Identity verification
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Completed.
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It's almost like he here.
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What are you doing?
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I'm doing something you
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Ought to try sometime.
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It's called minding your
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Business.
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Press enter to begin.
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Oh, online traffic school.
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I never got tickets because I
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Have cleavage.
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Well, you do, too, but I guess
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It's not the same.
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You may now proceed with
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Online traffic school.
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Okay.
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If you're nice, I'll give
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You a tip on how to pass the
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Class.
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This is about as nice as I'm
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Gonna be with you in the room,
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All right?
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Ok, fine.
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I'll tell you anyway.
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The answer to the questions is
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Always "C."
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That's ridiculous.
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When approaching a stop
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Sign, a driver should "A,"
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Continue through the
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Intersection...
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Mnh-mnh. That ain't it.
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..."B," merge to the right,
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Allowing other vehicles to
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Pass, or "C," stop.
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"C."
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Correct.
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I told you so.
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That's just one question.
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When making a 3-point turn,
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You should "A," stop the car
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Suddenly, "B," skid on a pool
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Of water, or "C," turn the car
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In three distinct directions.
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Ok. "C."
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Correct.
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Think you know everything.
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Just about.
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Ella!
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Hmm?
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I'm running to the store to
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Play the lottery.
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You want to ride with me?
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No, I don't play the lottery
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And neither should you.
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Well, normally I don't, but
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I had a dream while taking my
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Beauty nap.
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Beauty nap?
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Yeah, you need to have another
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One 'cause the first one didn't
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Take.
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Anyway, I dreamt that I was
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Sitting on my daddy's porch, and
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My husband's car drove by with
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Three midgets strapped to the
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Hood.
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What does that have to do
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With playing the lottery?
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Well, my daddy's address is
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1728.
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Hubert's birthday is 5/16/40.
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And according to my dream book,
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Three midgets are a sign of
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Completion.
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Okay.
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Don't you see, ella?
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My dream is telling me to play
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17, 28, 5, 16, 40, and 3 in
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Tonight's lottery.
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Okay, go ahead.
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But I am not riding to the store
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With you so you can play the
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Lottery.
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It is a waste of time and my
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Money.
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No, it's not.
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Curtis, don't you play the
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Lottery sometimes?
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Don't you see I'm trying to
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Take a test, claretha?
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I've seen him.
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4 to win, 5 to scratch off.
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Okay, claretha, don't play
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The lottery today.
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Let's go and get pedicures.
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Pedicures are way more fun than
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Standing in the line, paying
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Your money for the lottery.
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I don't know, ella.
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My dream book is telling me that
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Three midgets should not be
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Ignored.
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Claretha.
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Well, I could use a good
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Foot massage.
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[ giggles ]
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Okay.
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Then that settles it.
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Hey, ella, you might want to
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Stop at the hardware store,
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Baby.
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Why?
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Some eye goggles -- after
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They get to chipping off of
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Claretha's feet, you gonna need
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To protect your eyes.
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[ laughs ]
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Curtis payne has initiated a
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Pause.
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Program is paused.
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To resume testing, press the
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Enter key.
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Welcome back, curtis payne.
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You may now begin section two.
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Pop?
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What? I'm making a smoothie.
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00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,167
Uh...
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To verify identity, please
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Enter your favorite color.
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Oh, that's easy. Blue.
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Correct.
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What is your favorite food?
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Pork chops, macaroni and
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Cheese...
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Please list only one food
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Item.
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Pork chops.
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Correct.
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What is the name of your
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Childhood pet?
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Oh. I know this one.
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Uh...It's something with an --
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With an odor.
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Smelly, funky, musty. Tart.
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Pops! Pops!
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What? I'm coming! What?
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Um, what's the name of that
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Stinky dog that you had when
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You were a kid?
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You have 5 seconds, 4, 3,
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2 --
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Tart.
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Stinky.
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Incorrect.
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Identity fraud detected.
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Curtis payne must report in
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Person to verify identity and
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Complete exam.
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Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
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We can start over.
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Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
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Oh, my god.
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What you doing?
252
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Yaaaah!
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I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
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Whoo.
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Claretha, you think curtis is
256
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Gonna like my feet?
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00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:43,767
Oh, girl, once he sees that
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Fire-engine red nail polish, he
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Is not gonna be able to keep
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His hands off you...
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Unfortunately.
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00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,767
Well, it's 7:00.
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Let me get dinner ready.
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7:00?
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Can I check the lottery numbers?
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Go ahead.
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And tonight's winning
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Numbers for the $1 million
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Jackpot are -- 17, 28, 5...
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Come on. Come on. Come on.
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...16, 40, and 3.
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Aah! Ella! Ella, I won!
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I'm a millionaire!
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I hit the lotto.
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I hit the lotto.
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I hit the lotto. Uh-huh.
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I'm rich. I'm rich. I'm rich.
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Babe. Honey. Honey. Honey.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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You got to play the lottery
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Before you can win the lottery,
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Right?
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Oh, no. I didn't play.
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Why did I listen to you?
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I listened to the wrong midget.
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00:08:56,900 --> 00:08:58,133
Pops, I'm telling you, your
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Dog's name was tart.
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Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
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Wait a minute.
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How you gonna tell me what my
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00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:02,433
Dog's name was?
292
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:03,333
I know what my dog -- it was my
293
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,233
Dog, named after my uncle
294
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:07,067
Stinky.
295
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,067
And don't ask.
296
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:08,867
Why do I have to be here
297
00:09:08,867 --> 00:09:09,633
Anyway?
298
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,533
I didn't get a ticket.
299
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,400
Yeah, well, you're the reason
300
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:11,967
Why I'm here.
301
00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:12,933
That's why I failed 'cause of
302
00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:14,800
You, so sit down.
303
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,300
Stop talking in class.
304
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,800
Oh, so sorry that I'm late,
305
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,867
Class.
306
00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:20,300
I was practicing with my reggae
307
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,233
Band.
308
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:22,467
We've got the keys to the
309
00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:23,667
Dreadlocks.
310
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:25,100
[ laughs ]
311
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,067
Oh, my god.
312
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,267
Chief payne! O.M.G!
313
00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:31,567
I was telling my girlfriend how
314
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:32,933
Much I missed you.
315
00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:33,933
Girlfriend?
316
00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:36,067
Oh, yes. I must be dreaming.
317
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,267
Pinch me. No, seriously.
318
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:37,933
Come on, pinch me.
319
00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:38,800
No.
320
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:39,567
Hey, calvin, you do the
321
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:40,167
Honors.
322
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:41,167
No. I'm cool.
323
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,700
Okay. Class, I am walter.
324
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,533
Welcome to comedy traffic
325
00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:47,200
School, where we tickle your
326
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,200
Tickets away.
327
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,067
[ chuckles ]
328
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:50,400
Say that five times fast.
329
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,567
All: tickle our tickets --
330
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:52,700
Uh-uh-uh!
331
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,200
I didn't say "Simon says."
332
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,067
[ laughs ]
333
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,000
[ laughing ] Simon says.
334
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,433
[ sighs ]
335
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,467
I thought it was funny.
336
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:04,300
Walter, what are you doing
337
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,300
Teaching this class?
338
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,133
I thought you were supposed
339
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:06,733
To be an anger
340
00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:09,133
Management/relationship coach.
341
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:10,500
I have many hats.
342
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,667
Let me show you some.
343
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,767
Okay, I have cowboy hats.
344
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:14,933
Woo-hoo! Giddy up, partner!
345
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,933
Party hats. Surprise!
346
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,900
And beanies. Shaba!
347
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,267
[ imitates reggae music ]
348
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:26,133
Okay, this is gonna be a long
349
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,033
Class.
350
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,500
All right, let's jump right in,
351
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:31,333
Shall we?
352
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:33,200
Everyone, I want you to decide
353
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,967
For yourself -- what do I want
354
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:38,400
To get out of this class?
355
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,967
Ooh! Ooh! I know. I know.
356
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,100
Yes.
357
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:42,633
I want to just get out of
358
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:44,000
This class.
359
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,600
[ laughter ]
360
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,733
Like now.
361
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,667
All right, just leave the
362
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:49,433
Comedy to me, mr. Funny pants,
363
00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:51,467
Okay?
364
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,633
Now, today, I want you to
365
00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:55,700
Imagine, visualize, the type of
366
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,500
Vehicle that you are in.
367
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,567
Chief payne, I see you in a
368
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:01,867
Candy-apple-red fire truck.
369
00:11:01,867 --> 00:11:02,667
I don't want to be a fire
370
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:03,367
Truck.
371
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,600
That's the reason I'm here.
372
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,333
Ooh.
373
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:07,167
A big, bright-yellow dump truck.
374
00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:10,200
Why I got to be a dump truck?
375
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,300
Because you're big and
376
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,567
Strong, and, you know, you carry
377
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,233
A lot of weight.
378
00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,133
Calvin...
379
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,200
I'm a sports car!
380
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,067
Hmm...Not sensing that.
381
00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:22,200
I'm seeing you on a scooter --
382
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,567
Powder blue.
383
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,567
Wonderful.
384
00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:28,067
Okay, before we start, remember,
385
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,300
Let's lock our doors, fasten
386
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,767
Our seat belts.
387
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,400
Before we pull into traffic, we
388
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,533
Need to make sure we use our
389
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:37,267
Side-view mirror and remember
390
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:38,800
Objects may be closer than they
391
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,900
Actually appear.
392
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,200
You know, he's actually
393
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,867
Stranger than he appears.
394
00:11:43,867 --> 00:11:47,733
[ laughter ]
395
00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:49,800
Chief payne, focus.
396
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:52,433
Hey, this is pretty fun.
397
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,200
Yes, it is fun, okay?
398
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,233
So, here we go.
399
00:11:55,233 --> 00:11:56,167
We're rolling along.
400
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,067
We're rolling along.
401
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:58,300
Ooh, who do I see there?
402
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,433
It's mr. Postman.
403
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:01,267
Hi, mr. Postman.
404
00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:02,600
What's up, tyrell!
405
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,667
What's happening, dawg?
406
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:04,833
I thought you was off.
407
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:06,200
No, you didn't quit?
408
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,067
Hey, let's merge onto the
409
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:07,833
Highway.
410
00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:08,533
How about it?
411
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:11,200
Vroom, vroom, vroooommmm.
412
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,400
This is ridiculous!
413
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,200
I'm s-- I got to get out of
414
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,500
Here, I got to get out of here.
415
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,500
No, no, chief payne.
416
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,367
Chief payne, don't let go of the
417
00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:17,067
Wheel.
418
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,567
Stop! You'll kill yourself!
419
00:12:18,567 --> 00:12:19,867
If I got to die to get out
420
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,500
This class, let me die!
421
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,867
No, chief payne, I'll save
422
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,167
You!
423
00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:26,700
[ imitates slow motion ]
424
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,400
[ imitates impact thud ]
425
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,133
[ imitates air bag ]
426
00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:37,800
Walter, what are you doing?
427
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,133
I'm your personal air bag,
428
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,400
And I just deployed, saving
429
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,167
Your life.
430
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:42,667
Thank me later.
431
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:43,967
[ imitates air bag ]
432
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,833
Hey, ree-ree!
433
00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,067
I'm so glad you came over to see
434
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,200
Me.
435
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,367
I made you some coffee.
436
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,767
Oh, look, a coupon for
437
00:13:05,767 --> 00:13:07,667
Waffle world.
438
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:09,933
Oh, but if I had $1 million, I
439
00:13:09,933 --> 00:13:11,200
Wouldn't need a coupon.
440
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:13,500
You know what?
441
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,667
I would still use my coupon.
442
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:17,700
Coffeecake.
443
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,800
Oh, a baby-blue convertible.
444
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,967
I was going to buy a convertible
445
00:13:25,967 --> 00:13:27,200
Before my $1 million went
446
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,800
"Poof."
447
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,333
A convertible?
448
00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:32,800
Convertibles are so overrated,
449
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,200
And you wear wigs.
450
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,400
And your wig would just be
451
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,100
Flying down the highway.
452
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,300
We don't want that.
453
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,667
[ laughs ]
454
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:43,133
Oh, looky there.
455
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,400
Oprah and gayle.
456
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,500
I used to have a good friend
457
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,833
Just like that.
458
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,500
But then she cost me $1 million.
459
00:13:55,233 --> 00:13:56,433
Claretha, how many ways can
460
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:59,100
I say I am sorry?
461
00:13:59,100 --> 00:14:00,500
[ gasps ]
462
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,800
A diamond-encrusted mobile with
463
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,600
Walkie-talkie chirp and gps.
464
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,633
Ooh, if I had that, I could
465
00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:12,300
Locate my real friends.
466
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,733
Okay, listen.
467
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:15,600
Claretha, what you're not gonna
468
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,967
Do is eat my food, drink my
469
00:14:16,967 --> 00:14:18,233
Drink, and come up in my house
470
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,067
And ignore me.
471
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,767
Ella, you don't understand.
472
00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:22,933
This was the big one.
473
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:25,133
My number came up, and I lost
474
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,700
Because I listened to you.
475
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,133
Okay, fine! I'm sorry.
476
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,633
I said I was wrong.
477
00:14:30,633 --> 00:14:31,467
If it'll make you feel any
478
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:33,067
Better, I'll just turn my back
479
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,933
And let calvin buy you another
480
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,667
Lottery ticket.
481
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,633
The only way that would work
482
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:38,800
Is if you let calvin buy me one
483
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,867
Million lottery tickets and
484
00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:44,100
They all hit at the same time.
485
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,567
Fat chance of that happening.
486
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,467
And so we have learned that
487
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:53,867
A pedestrian has the
488
00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:55,600
Right-of-way, even if they don't
489
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,700
Walk right away, and some of us
490
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,200
Learned that the hard way,
491
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,633
Didn't we?
492
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,367
How is your mother, by the way?
493
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:03,700
Fantastic. Great. See?
494
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:04,667
Isn't learning fun?
495
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,733
Uh, excuse me.
496
00:15:05,733 --> 00:15:06,567
Yes.
497
00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:07,433
Can we have a break from all
498
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:08,267
This fun?
499
00:15:08,267 --> 00:15:09,833
That's a great idea.
500
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,467
Let's break dance. Everybody!
501
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:14,167
[ imitates break-dance music ]
502
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,300
Whoo!
503
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,733
Come on, come on. Bust a move.
504
00:15:18,733 --> 00:15:20,567
Bust a move. Woop, woop!
505
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,900
Come on, spin me, chief, spin
506
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:22,933
Me.
507
00:15:25,933 --> 00:15:27,700
Ooh.
508
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:28,867
Okay, 10 minutes.
509
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:32,067
Pops, I'm out of here.
510
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,067
This is torture.
511
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,333
Try to leave. I dare you.
512
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,533
You won't get far with my foot
513
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:36,467
In your butt.
514
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:37,267
Come on, pops.
515
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,267
I'm a grown man.
516
00:15:38,267 --> 00:15:39,700
And you'll be a grown man
517
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,400
With a foot in your butt.
518
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,100
[ laughter ]
519
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,233
Ha! Ha! Ha!
520
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:45,167
You know, you two guys are
521
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,067
Ten times funnier than the
522
00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:47,200
Teacher is, really.
523
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,067
That's because he's the
524
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:49,067
Queen of no comedy.
525
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:50,433
[ laughter ]
526
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,300
See, that's what I'm talking
527
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:51,833
About.
528
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:52,633
You two ought to be teaching
529
00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:53,400
This class.
530
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,367
Oh, yeah. You know what?
531
00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:55,300
We could kick the queen of no
532
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,133
Comedy out.
533
00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,067
No. We can't do that.
534
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:58,067
Yes, we can.
535
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,333
I think we can do it.
536
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,433
We got the people behind us.
537
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:02,133
What do the people say?
538
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,667
All: yeah!
539
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:04,600
Get the door. Get the door.
540
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,433
But, wait!
541
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,700
What's going on in there?
542
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,500
We're doing something you
543
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,333
Don't know nothing about --
544
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,100
Comedy!
545
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,067
Open this door.
546
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,367
I'm -- I'm gonna --
547
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:15,067
What -- call your girlfriend?
548
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,633
Yes, and she won't be happy
549
00:16:16,633 --> 00:16:18,067
About this.
550
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:18,900
Everybody, we're gonna play
551
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,267
A new game, and this game is
552
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:22,933
Called, "Hit that fool."
553
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:24,367
Now, let's say -- let's say --
554
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,900
Let's say you got somebody, and
555
00:16:25,900 --> 00:16:27,467
They're walking all slow across
556
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:29,067
The street, and you get five
557
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,233
Points if you...
558
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:31,300
Hit that fool.
559
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,233
Yes!
560
00:16:33,233 --> 00:16:34,933
And you get 50 points if you get
561
00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:36,533
A thug with pink rollers in his
562
00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,500
Hair, 50 points if you...
563
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,933
Hit that fool.
564
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,667
Yeah!
565
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,500
And you get 100 points if you
566
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,633
Got somebody on a cell phone
567
00:16:45,633 --> 00:16:47,633
Holding up traffic, 100 points
568
00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:48,533
If you...
569
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:49,900
Hit that fool.
570
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:51,100
Oh, y'all don't help me in
571
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,067
Here today.
572
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:53,133
[ laughs ]
573
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:54,600
Hey, you get 1,000 points if we
574
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,767
Open up this door and y'all let
575
00:16:56,767 --> 00:16:58,367
That ugly man right there, let
576
00:16:58,367 --> 00:16:59,633
Him have it.
577
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:00,667
Get your papers out.
578
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:01,733
Get your books.
579
00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:02,833
Get your bibles -- whatever you
580
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:03,733
Got.
581
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:04,800
Open the door.
582
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,567
1,000 points if you...
583
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,933
Hit that fool!
584
00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,067
Hit that fool!
585
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:10,233
No!
586
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:11,800
[ laughter ]
587
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,900
Bam!
588
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:17,700
Y'all have passed your class.
589
00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:23,200
Here you go, claretha.
590
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,733
I hope you enjoy this one more
591
00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:25,700
Than that one.
592
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:26,800
Oh, it won't do.
593
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,067
You haven't even tasted it.
594
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,400
Too many bubbles.
595
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:35,267
Ooh! My, it's hot in here.
596
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:37,267
I said, it's hot in here.
597
00:17:37,267 --> 00:17:38,767
Seriously, claretha, you
598
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,767
Have got to just get over it.
599
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:41,600
Well, can you at least hand
600
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:42,400
Me the remote?
601
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,333
Get it yourself.
602
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,333
I am through catering to you,
603
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,233
Okay?
604
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,900
I am sorry that you did not win
605
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,533
$1 million, but I don't know
606
00:17:49,533 --> 00:17:50,500
What else to do to convince you
607
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,433
Of that.
608
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:52,333
Well, you could try saying
609
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:54,333
It 999,000 more times.
610
00:17:57,867 --> 00:17:58,867
This just in -- last night's
611
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:00,500
$1 million dollar jackpot will
612
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,667
Be awarded to half a million
613
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:02,733
Winners.
614
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,267
Each winner will receive a mere
615
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:05,533
$2.
616
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,633
[ laughing ] Okay, each
617
00:18:08,633 --> 00:18:10,367
Winner.
618
00:18:10,367 --> 00:18:11,367
I got that.
619
00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:12,900
[ laughs ]
620
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:16,900
There you are.
621
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,267
You are a winner!
622
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:21,500
Now, get your feet off my couch.
623
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,467
Okay, okay. You're right.
624
00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,100
Playing the lottery is a gamble.
625
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,567
Yes, it is, and in our tax
626
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,333
Bracket, we can't afford to be
627
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,167
Just wasting money.
628
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,500
Speak for your own tax
629
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:33,533
Bracket.
630
00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,600
I'm a businesswoman.
631
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,267
Anyway, can't a girl dream?
632
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:38,767
Sure you can.
633
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,967
Dreaming is free.
634
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,067
You're right.
635
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:45,333
But friendship costs.
636
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,767
This class was a joke.
637
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:51,600
Well, the class wasn't all
638
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,833
That bad.
639
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:53,733
Hey, we did a lot better
640
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:54,800
Than walter did.
641
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,700
Ha ha! I called for back-up!
642
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,133
I brought in the peach!
643
00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:03,067
You didn't think you were gonna
644
00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:04,733
Get away from me that easy, did
645
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:05,433
You?
646
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:06,600
Both: uh-oh.
39248
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