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It has been described as one of
the most vicious presidential races...
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00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,926
...in the history
of American politics...
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00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,428
...and one of the closest.
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00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:32,432
The Republican nominee
Senator Russell P. Kramer of Ohio...
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...is practically dead even
in the polls with is bitter rival...
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...democratic Governor
Matt Douglas of Indiana.
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To say there is no love lost
between these two candidates...
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...is a gross understatement.
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Yet to night, in spite of their almost
overwhelming distaste for each other...
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...one man will have to
salute the other...
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00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:56,423
...as the next President
of the United States.
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Thank you.
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Thank you. God bless you.
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What was once a dream.
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...is now a reality.
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I've always said that our dreams
are like our children.
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They need our encouragement
and support to grow.
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They must be nurtured
and sheltered...
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...but...
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...allowed to run free.
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We are here to help your dream
become real, America.
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And I'm confident
that we'll be here...
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...for a long, long time to come.
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00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:07,160
And so it appears
the American people have spoken.
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00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,029
A few minutes ago...
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00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,466
...I congratulated Governor Douglas
on his victory.
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We fought bravely,
but for us the time has come...
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00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:18,538
...to stand behind
our new president...
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...and put aside any feelings
of ill will...
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...rancor...
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...hostility...
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...and serious doubts about
this man's ability to lead a nation...
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...that I hope none of us feels.
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00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,082
A funny thing happened...
36
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,584
...on the way to the office tonight.
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00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:08,755
I got elected President
of the United States.
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00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:22,102
A funny thing happened
on the way to the hotel tonight.
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00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,104
Now. The people have spoken.
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Maybe we don't agree with them.
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Congratulations.
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What a night.
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It's time, sir.
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Well, all right then.
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00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,616
Shall we greet the nation
Mr. Vice President-elect.
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I guess, but are we sure it's official?
47
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President Douglas just conceded.
I'd say that's a good sign.
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Let's go.
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00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,633
I have always believed that dreams...
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00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:28,134
...are like children.
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00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:31,137
They need encouragement
and support to grow.
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But ultimately...
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00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:37,143
...it is perseverance that will turn
a dream into a reality...
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...countries into world powers...
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...and your own Hiroshi Ashino...
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...into Matsamuda's insurance
Underwraiter of the Year.
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Pleasure. Good. Congrats.
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What?!
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Jesus Christ!
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00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,688
The thing just grabbed me.
Am I supposed to knock it down ?
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00:05:21,957 --> 00:05:24,190
-You handled it very well.
-You think so?
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00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,693
Tomorrow there'll be a picture of me...
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...dancing with a giant dog
in every newspaper on this planet.
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It was a panda, sir.
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What's the difference?
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Why a Japanese company would--?
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I don't care.
Did Jefferson dance with a bear?
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00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,204
Did Lincoln?
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00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,173
Did Reagan foxtrot with a panda?
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I'll check...
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00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:46,179
I was President of the United States
I don't dance with animals.
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No dancing with animals.
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-A message from the president.
-Thanks, Jim.
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Jim's off today. I'm Bruce.
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Sorry.
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00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,689
You and Jim Iook alike.
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Jim's black sir.
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I know.
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,195
But you're both...
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00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,631
...tall.
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00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,034
He's sending me to another funeral.
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00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,244
I can't believe I just did it
with Matt Douglas.
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You were the leader
of the free world.
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00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,249
My mother has a commemorative plate
with your face on it.
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00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,752
You haven't said anything
about my book.
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00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:29,255
The new draft better?
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00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,260
I'm your editor. Keep in mind,
I'm supposed to be critical.
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00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,261
It stinks, right?
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00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,264
No, it doesn't-- I would never--
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lt is pretty stinky. Sorry.
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00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,771
You spend too much of the book
talking about what you wanted to do...
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00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:46,272
...not what you did.
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00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,273
I didn't do much.
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00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,676
How's that for honesty?
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00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,279
I believe this is yours.
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00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,280
Look, Joanna...
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00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,282
...if the book goes or not...
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...i don't care.
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I'm writing it, cause
I don't know what else to do.
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00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,790
You've got plenty of options.
101
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:04,791
Not really.
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00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,293
But I'll never be like Kramer...
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00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,296
...running around sucking up
every dime that isn't nailed down.
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00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:12,298
Jimmy Carter, there's a class act.
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00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:16,803
He goes around building homes
for poor people with his own hands.
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00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:17,804
You could do that.
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Yeah, maybe in a couple years.
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00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:21,808
Right now my attitude is...
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00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:25,245
"They didn't vote for me
let them freeze."
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That was too easy.
You're getting soft.
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00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,321
We really wish you wouldn't do that.
You put yourself at risk.
112
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,323
Right. Let me ask you...
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00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,827
...in the years ex-presidents
have had Secret Service protection...
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00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:44,831
...has there ever been even
one assassination attempt?
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00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:45,832
No, sir.
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00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,334
I find that sad.
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The minute you're out
of the office...
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...they don't care enough
to kill you anymore.
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00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,341
Before we go in...
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00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,844
...we'd like to know how you got
out of the stall without us seeing.
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00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,846
Why don't you guys relax?
122
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,017
Take a night off.
Go rent "In the Line of Fire" again.
123
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,196
We'll be in Air Force One shortly,
President Douglas.
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00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:20,200
I hate funerals It's awful when
another good Democrat passes on.
125
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,203
I believe the deceased
was a Republican.
126
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,539
Then it might not be so bad.
127
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:34,214
Hello, baby.
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00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:37,384
Daddy's home.
129
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:50,397
There's the old seat.
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00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,901
President Douglas.
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00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,571
President Kramer.
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00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,076
Well, that covers that.
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00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,254
Russell...
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00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,523
...i just have to ask.
135
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,259
When you dance with a panda...
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00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,528
...who leads?
137
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,940
Are you working on your book?
138
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,777
I find writing very gratifying.
I must.
139
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,780
I've written seven books
on my years at the helm.
140
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:45,118
You've obviously got
a great knack for fiction.
141
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,956
And how is Mrs. Douglas?
142
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,292
We're in the middle of a divorce.
143
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:53,793
I knew that, didn't I?
144
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:57,797
I guess life in the White House
put a strain on your marriage.
145
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:01,301
It was being out of the White House
that Katherine couldn't stand.
146
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,302
That's funny.
147
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,805
It went over well
with the rest of the country.
148
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,307
Want to compare popularity polls?
149
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,309
Let's talk about popularity.
150
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,812
There was only. one assassination
attempt on me. You had three.
151
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,815
Two the woman in Phoenix does
not count! She had a starter pistol!
152
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:16,316
Stop.
153
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:17,817
Just stop.
154
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,819
We're here because a man died.
155
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,323
We can attempt some semblance
of civility, can't we?
156
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,492
I know I can.
157
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:31,331
You're a whore, admit it.
Admit you're a big whore.
158
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:34,834
Name three women in Dc. you
didn't bang when you were in office.
159
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,336
What am I talking? Name one.
160
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,673
-Screw you.
-Blow me.
161
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,511
When I appointed
General Charles Sherman...
162
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,012
.to the Joint Chiefs...
163
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,015
...i knew he was a man
with a dream.
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00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:54,187
I have always believed
that dreams are like our children.
165
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,023
Buy a new speech, Russell.
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00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,527
That dead general's lucky.
He won't have to hear it again.
167
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,029
Grab me a towel, will you?
168
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,533
I don't like to interrupted
while on the bike. What's going on?
169
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,035
I'm afraid a situation's come up.
170
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:13,039
The Democrats may have some
damaging information about...
171
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,541
...olympia...
172
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,043
Olympia?
173
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,045
We've had that buried for years.
174
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,547
I was thinking...
175
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:24,050
...when all this took place,
Kramer was President.
176
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,553
Possibly we can lay the scandal on him.
177
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,055
He didn't know anything about it.
178
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,558
Could always make it appear he did.
179
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:35,061
A little fiddling with the records,
some rewriting of history.
180
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,064
I don't know, Carl.
That's tricky stuff.
181
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,567
That'd open a whole new bag of cats.
182
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:44,070
My honest opinion. lf this matter
isn't taken care of immediately...
183
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,574
...no less than the presidency
is at stake.
184
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:52,078
Don't worry. I can promise this
is the last you'll hear about it.
185
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,381
Hear about what?
186
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:01,254
Mrs Sherman told me
Charlie had a favorite song.
187
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,590
One that cheered him up.
188
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,092
Please God,
don't let him quote lyrics.
189
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:09,596
I can't think of anything more
fitting than to share with you...
190
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,097
...the words from that song.
191
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,500
Oh, Christ.
192
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,603
"Muskrat Susie
193
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,104
"Muskrat Sam
194
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,107
"Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat-land
195
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,276
"And they shimmy
196
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,281
"And Sammy's so skinny."
197
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,692
How are you doing?
198
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,561
Hello, Senator.
199
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,863
Good to see you.
200
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,068
Nice to have seen you.
201
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,570
Mr. President, hello.
202
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,073
What a lovely surprise.
203
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,575
And how is my favorite
TV newsperson?
204
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:57,077
I'm your favorite?
205
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,079
I thought Diane Sawyer was.
206
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,381
She is. How is she?
207
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:05,585
Rumor has it a major scandal
is about to blow...
208
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,587
...and it may involve you.
209
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,089
No, not me, Kaye.
210
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,091
My nose is clean.
211
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:15,595
I heard that in your last year
in office you took a very generous...
212
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:16,596
..."fee"...
213
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,098
...for delivering a defense contract.
214
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,599
I'm just...
215
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,101
...looking for a confirmation.
216
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:25,405
Are you saying that
I took a kickback.?
217
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,109
Excuse me, got a minute?
218
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,612
Looks like Haney's involved
in this Kramer kickback story.
219
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:36,916
But a defense contractor's prepared
to say he paid Kramer off.
220
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,119
Then that's that Case closed
221
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,622
No, it's not. Our sources tell us
Haney's shifting the blame.
222
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,624
Word is, it was done over lunch.
223
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:46,626
-Really?
-Just you and the contractor.
224
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:47,627
Very cozy.
225
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,629
Who is this contractor?
226
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,631
Charlie Reynolds.
227
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,134
Oh, you're kidding.
228
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,137
You know I would tell you
the name of the contractor...
229
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,139
...if I was your favorite
TV newsperson.
230
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,141
But since I'm not...
231
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,510
Take care.
232
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:07,147
Did you hear that?
233
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,649
I did. It's a crock
and we both know it.
234
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:12,652
It's a kick in the balls.
Sorry, sweetheart.
235
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,655
I'm a politician's wife.
I have a set of my own.
236
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:19,659
I know you and Charlie were friends
but he's in over his head.
237
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,662
You're going to Washington
for the book convention?
238
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,665
It'd be a great time to talk to him.
239
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,169
I'd like to help you, Joe,
but I'm not getting involved.
240
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,171
lf you do this for us...
241
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,173
...the Party'll be grateful.
242
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:36,176
We both know you want another crack
at the Oval Office.
243
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,679
I told you I was thinking about
running again. Just thinking.
244
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,681
The Party wouldn't back me.
245
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,150
Besides they wouldn't.
246
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,685
-Would they?
-Of course, they would.
247
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,688
I'm the Democratic Chairman.
We need your help.
248
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:53,693
If you're seriously considering
running again, you'll need ours.
249
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,195
When did this supposedly happen?
250
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,197
It was seven years ago.
251
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,698
I don't understand it.
252
00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:02,702
Why me and why now?
Who'll benefit from framing me?
253
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,272
The President of the United States.
254
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,723
I thought about your offer.
255
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:25,225
Not that I'd run again...
256
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:30,730
...but you really think
the Party'd back me if I helped out?
257
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,966
It's already been discussed.
258
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,735
Really?
259
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:40,106
Now that I think of it
there is an extra bonus to this.
260
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:44,244
I either get the son of a bitch
I hate...
261
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:44,744
Good to see you.
262
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:49,315
...or the son of a bitch I really hate.
263
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,319
I'll do it.
264
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:01,261
Get me the name of that contractor.
You must dig that up.
265
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,763
I'll get right on it.
266
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,767
We agreed the zipper would be
in the up position.
267
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,271
it's part of the deal.
268
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,775
I wonder what they'd pay me
if I tattooed their logo on my ass.
269
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,079
-I could ask, sir.
-Just drive the cart!
270
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,295
I've actually thought about
playing professionally.
271
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,796
I do't know about that
272
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:42,302
I think the ladies' tour likes
their payers to be more masculine.
273
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,454
Hold this.
274
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,829
Thank you, Russ. That's for you.
275
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:13,333
You son of a
276
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,352
I'm so sorry
and I'm so embarrassed.
277
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,855
And I hope this doesn't scare you
away from golf.
278
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,857
Because it's such a great sport.
279
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,860
I know your people,
the black people...
280
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,362
...don't enjoy the game.
281
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,865
it's because you can't get into
the nice clubs, the restricted ones.
282
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,368
But blacks are so good
at many sports.
283
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:53,373
Maybe it's good that we white folk
have a sport you guys aren't so good at.
284
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,374
Mr. Vice President, this way.
285
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,877
-ls there a problem?
-There'll be less of one if you come.
286
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:58,378
So long.
287
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,881
I'm getting a cramp.
288
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:08,888
Interesting game.
You're playing pretty tough.
289
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,057
Tough enough to win, I hope.
290
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,392
Maybe.
291
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,528
You never know when
you'll get stuck with a bad lie.
292
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,408
Here I come, fighting back
from behind
293
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,910
Too little, too Iate.
You'll never catch us.
294
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,080
I'm pretty sure
I'll catch one of you.
295
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,391
Excellent work, Caldwell.
I'll be in touch.
296
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:45,392
What'd he find?
297
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:49,896
Charlie Reynolds is the frigging guy
who says I took the kickback.
298
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,400
Don't say "frigging." If you must use
the F-word, go for the gold.
299
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:54,901
Why would he say that?
300
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,903
I think he's covering for Haney.
301
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,906
it's Haney's mess
and he's shifting it to me.
302
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,408
I didn't think he was that smart.
303
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:03,910
He learned from the master.
304
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,914
I met him once. Haney brought him
into the office for lunch.
305
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,918
As I remember, we sat around
talking about golf most of the time.
306
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,921
Now Reynolds is getting ready
to release an affidavit saying...
307
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,258
...that he was alone with me.
308
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:20,427
Don't do that with the liquor.
309
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,596
it's so...george Bush.
310
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,433
Wait.
311
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:27,934
Wait a minute.
312
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,937
If the meeting took place
in the Oval Office...
313
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:35,942
...then there's a record of it
in the log naming everyone present.
314
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:36,943
This is easy.
315
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,945
I send Caldwell to the archives...
316
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,948
...and get some hard evidence
I can shove in Reynolds' face.
317
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,450
Well done, dear.
318
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,954
Before we check out, do you want me
to steal the little shampoos?
319
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:51,958
Oh God, Margaret,
come on now. PIease.
320
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,127
I already got them.
321
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,404
It's not there?!
322
00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:07,407
I have the appointment log
right in front of me.
323
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:11,411
I see your name, Charles Reynolds'
name, and at the bottom...
324
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,914
...the word "Olympia" circled in red.
325
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,317
Sir?
326
00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:26,426
Don't be a moron, Charlie! You're
saying you offered me a kickback...
327
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:27,427
...and I took it?!
328
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,929
That's how I remember it.
329
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,432
As I recall just the two of us
were there.
330
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,434
You were pleased about the deal.
331
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,437
Just the two of us?
Are you sure about that?
332
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,939
There's nothing more to discuss.
333
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,443
We have Iots to discuss
How's this for o .
peners?
334
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:47,447
You and your buddies tampering
with documents in the archives?
335
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,950
That'll be hard to explain
when you get subpoenaed.
336
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,454
I'm sorry, sir. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
337
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,858
I'm going to have to stand
by my original statement.
338
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:02,128
You'll have to stand alone.
339
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,469
-Let's go, Bruce.
-It's Jim.
340
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,471
Yeah, you're black and tall.
341
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,974
Whoopdee-frigging-do.
342
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,981
Mr. Reynolds...
343
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:23,483
...the president's here.
344
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,984
He just left.
345
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,986
No, another one.
346
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:29,155
Charlie, old buddy!
347
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,491
How about we take a walk?
348
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:34,594
Talk about old times.
349
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,997
I assure you...
350
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,501
...the arrangement was made
with President Kramer alone.
351
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:46,506
We're friends. I want to believe you,
but some people say it wasn't that way.
352
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,009
This is turning into
a huge political bomb.
353
00:21:49,442 --> 00:21:53,513
Not that I mind, because when
it blows, my party's going to be in.
354
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:54,981
Look...
355
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:58,018
...Haney, Kramer,
one of them is going down.
356
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:02,022
Now the Democrats can offer you
immunity if you give us the name.
357
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:04,024
Now, come on, who took the kickback?
358
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:05,525
Please tell me it's Kramer.
359
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:10,130
If it is I'll give you
a big kiss on the lips.
360
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:16,536
Carl, I'm in a very tough spot here.
361
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:18,538
I know. There's nothing
to worry about.
362
00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:19,539
Hang tight.
363
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:24,044
They came to my office yesterday!
They came to my place of business!
364
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:27,047
Now, look, I know we have a deal...
365
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:30,050
...but if I knew this would happen
I wouldn't have signed on.
366
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,554
Be calm and know you have the full.
power of the White House behind you.
367
00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:37,724
Okay? I'll be in touch.
368
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:41,061
Reynolds sounds shaky.
369
00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:46,066
I better get over there
and give our friend moral support.
370
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:58,078
Okay, folks, please step back.
Form a line
371
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,080
Everyone will get an autograph.
372
00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:02,582
He wrote a cookbook How dare he?
373
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,085
When he was President
he cooked for his guests.
374
00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:06,086
That's not the point.
375
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,588
Did Washington write
about wooden teeth?
376
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:12,592
"Did Taft write
Thirty Days to a Slimmer Ass"?
377
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,094
It's shameful.
378
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,595
Mr. President?
379
00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,764
It's okay, Chet.
380
00:23:19,165 --> 00:23:22,602
Mr. Reynolds would appreciate
your signing this for his daughter.
381
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,104
Who? Charlie?
382
00:23:32,212 --> 00:23:34,214
Be glad to.
383
00:23:35,015 --> 00:23:36,116
There you go.
384
00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:39,719
This'll make him very happy.
385
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:43,123
President Douglas...
386
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,625
...here's the sandwich you ordered.
387
00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:47,794
Just one moment.
388
00:23:52,032 --> 00:23:54,034
Chet, could you...?
389
00:23:57,604 --> 00:23:57,637
I didn't order a sandwich.
390
00:23:57,971 --> 00:23:58,538
Yes, sir.
391
00:23:59,139 --> 00:23:59,639
Sandwich boy.
392
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,141
Come with us
393
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,144
Drop the bag.
Hands behind your back.
394
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,145
What'd I do?
395
00:24:05,311 --> 00:24:06,379
-Don't move
-He said turkey and Swiss!
396
00:24:06,379 --> 00:24:06,646
-Don't move
-He said turkey and Swiss!
397
00:24:07,047 --> 00:24:09,049
-What's in the bag?
-A sandwich.
398
00:24:52,092 --> 00:24:53,159
You made the right choice.
399
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,161
I hope so, Matt.
400
00:24:55,295 --> 00:24:57,297
Get in.
401
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:03,670
it's my duty to officially
serve you with a subpoena.
402
00:25:03,837 --> 00:25:06,840
Oh, God. Did you have to do that?
403
00:25:07,273 --> 00:25:09,275
I always admired you.
404
00:25:10,477 --> 00:25:12,479
The hell...
405
00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:15,181
My ex-wife.
406
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,183
Damn.
407
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:21,688
Don't ever get a divorce, Charlie.
I swear, half the time...
408
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:24,858
...i wish somebody'd
walk up and shoot me.
409
00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:28,194
Oh, my God!
410
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:31,364
What are you doing?!
411
00:25:31,865 --> 00:25:34,701
What's going on. Douglas?
Oh, my God.
412
00:25:35,068 --> 00:25:36,202
He's dead.
413
00:25:36,369 --> 00:25:38,204
Oh, my God! What the hell?
414
00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:39,706
Don't make a scene.
415
00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:42,208
-What did you do?!
-What did I do?!
416
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:45,712
You caught me. We got in a fight
about your cookbook so I plugged him.
417
00:25:48,014 --> 00:25:48,214
You got a problem
with my cookbook?
418
00:25:48,515 --> 00:25:51,718
We are two ex-presidents
inches away from a dead man.
419
00:25:51,885 --> 00:25:53,219
Not a good place to be.
420
00:25:53,386 --> 00:25:55,722
What were you doing with Reynolds?
You know about Olympia, don't you?
421
00:25:55,889 --> 00:25:58,725
-I know about the kickback you took.
-I didn't take one!
422
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:02,228
-What business is it of yours anyway?
-Where can we talk?
423
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:05,398
I know, follow me.
424
00:26:20,013 --> 00:26:22,449
For the last time,
I'm telling everything I know.
425
00:26:22,716 --> 00:26:25,452
And I don't have the slightest clue
what Olympia is?
426
00:26:26,019 --> 00:26:28,455
Excuse me, Dad.
Did you want a drink?
427
00:26:28,621 --> 00:26:29,956
Fruit juice, honey.
428
00:26:30,523 --> 00:26:32,459
-Vodka tonic
-I'm sure we can swing that.
429
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:33,960
I never touch alcohol.
430
00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:35,962
Dulls the senses.
431
00:26:36,129 --> 00:26:38,131
You're full of shit.
432
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:40,467
Hi, there.
433
00:26:40,633 --> 00:26:41,968
We're talking big-people talk.
434
00:26:42,135 --> 00:26:43,470
Did you hear that?
435
00:26:43,636 --> 00:26:44,971
Here, here.
436
00:26:45,138 --> 00:26:46,473
Money. For you.
437
00:26:47,173 --> 00:26:47,474
Thanks.
438
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:48,975
-Don't do that
-Why?
439
00:26:49,142 --> 00:26:51,978
I'm showing him
how you got elected.
440
00:26:52,379 --> 00:26:53,480
Play with me.
441
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:59,085
I can't right now Davy. But, here.
See, take this and run along.
442
00:27:00,387 --> 00:27:01,488
Give me the gun.
443
00:27:01,788 --> 00:27:05,492
You go hide. I'll count from 100
and then come find you. Okay?
444
00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:07,994
Skedaddle. One hundred...
445
00:27:08,161 --> 00:27:09,996
...ninety-nine.....
446
00:27:11,664 --> 00:27:12,165
Okay, where were we?
447
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:17,003
Maybe you weren't involved
in Charlie's death...
448
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:19,005
...but you're involved somehow.
449
00:27:19,506 --> 00:27:23,009
I'm involved? What about you?
You were sitting in a dead man's car.
450
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:25,512
Now you know. I enjoy
spending time with dead men.
451
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,514
-You don't believe me?
-Go ahead and die.
452
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:28,515
It'll perk me up.
453
00:27:28,915 --> 00:27:29,983
You...
454
00:27:30,183 --> 00:27:32,185
Someone's here for you.
455
00:27:33,687 --> 00:27:36,523
Good afternoon, sirs.
Colonel Paul Tanner, NSA.
456
00:27:36,690 --> 00:27:40,026
President Haney must meet with
the both of you as quickly as possible.
457
00:27:40,193 --> 00:27:42,529
We have transportation
to Camp David.
458
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,531
How'd you find us here?
459
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,534
We know where you are
at all times, sir.
460
00:27:48,134 --> 00:27:51,137
That's our business.
461
00:28:24,738 --> 00:28:25,572
Major...
462
00:28:25,739 --> 00:28:29,075
...is there a problem? The flight
to Camp David isn't this long.
463
00:28:29,476 --> 00:28:31,578
My orders didn't mention Camp David.
464
00:28:31,745 --> 00:28:34,581
We were told we were going
to Camp David to see Haney.
465
00:28:34,748 --> 00:28:38,752
Sir, as far as know,
President Haney's at the White House.
466
00:28:39,586 --> 00:28:40,587
Something's wrong.
467
00:28:40,754 --> 00:28:43,089
-Now what?
-Haney's in Washington.
468
00:28:43,490 --> 00:28:45,592
They are taking us out
in the middle of nowhere.
469
00:28:45,759 --> 00:28:48,094
That duplicitous little turd.
470
00:28:48,261 --> 00:28:50,096
I want to speak to the White House.
471
00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:53,099
I'm sorry. I've been. instructed
to maintain radio silence.
472
00:28:54,034 --> 00:28:55,602
Then put this bird on the ground, now!
473
00:28:55,902 --> 00:28:56,603
That's an order.
474
00:28:57,003 --> 00:29:01,007
Respectfully sir, I can't do that.
My orders are classified.
475
00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:02,609
All right.....
476
00:29:02,776 --> 00:29:06,780
Land this contraption or
I'll blow your head off!
477
00:29:16,222 --> 00:29:20,226
You said you wanted
to maintain radio silence...
478
00:29:20,794 --> 00:29:21,628
What the hell?!
479
00:29:22,128 --> 00:29:25,131
Don't shoot a gun in a confined area!
You want to deafen us.
480
00:29:26,132 --> 00:29:27,133
Just get out of the chopper.
481
00:29:27,534 --> 00:29:29,636
-Get out of the chopper!
-The crops?
482
00:29:30,036 --> 00:29:33,039
Get out!
483
00:29:40,547 --> 00:29:42,148
What we do now?
484
00:29:42,315 --> 00:29:45,151
It's our butts if we let them
out of sight.
485
00:29:45,552 --> 00:29:49,656
lf I have to get a hearing aid
after this, I'm sending you the bill.
486
00:29:50,156 --> 00:29:54,160
if I have to listen to you bitch,
I'll beat you to death with my shoe!
487
00:29:54,561 --> 00:29:57,664
Now what the hell are they doing?
Get out of here!
488
00:29:58,164 --> 00:30:00,166
Go on, get going! Shoo! Shoo!
489
00:30:00,667 --> 00:30:02,168
They're not leaving.
490
00:30:02,335 --> 00:30:03,670
Maybe if you make a scary face.....
491
00:30:04,070 --> 00:30:05,672
Wait a minute, Einstein.
492
00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:09,175
We never had to leave the chopper!
You've got their gun!
493
00:30:09,743 --> 00:30:11,678
We could've made them
take us back to Washington.
494
00:30:11,845 --> 00:30:13,179
Now you figure that out!
495
00:30:13,346 --> 00:30:16,182
As usual, a Republican comes up
with a plan while the Democrat...
496
00:30:16,683 --> 00:30:18,184
...wanders in the woods.
497
00:30:18,585 --> 00:30:20,186
Flag them down.
498
00:30:20,487 --> 00:30:21,688
Come on down.
499
00:30:22,088 --> 00:30:23,189
Bring it down.
500
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,493
Bring...it...down!
501
00:30:46,012 --> 00:30:48,014
They're down.
502
00:31:02,328 --> 00:31:06,733
I don't believe this it's madness.
You know what gives me the red ass?
503
00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:07,734
The red ass?
504
00:31:08,134 --> 00:31:09,736
Haney's behind all this.
505
00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:12,739
Damn it, he's not going to get
away with it. We'll go public.
506
00:31:13,340 --> 00:31:14,741
I'll call Kaye Griffin.
507
00:31:14,908 --> 00:31:18,745
We'll go on TV and tell them about
Reynolds, murder and the explosion.
508
00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:22,248
Are you crazy?
We can't go public without evidence.
509
00:31:22,749 --> 00:31:23,750
We'll look like couple of morons.
510
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:25,251
The people will believe us!
511
00:31:25,685 --> 00:31:26,252
Why?
512
00:31:26,419 --> 00:31:28,421
Because we're presidents.
513
00:31:30,256 --> 00:31:33,760
They won't believe us.
What are we supposed to do?
514
00:31:33,860 --> 00:31:35,862
I don't know.
515
00:31:39,432 --> 00:31:40,266
Call Douglas's and Kramer's families.
516
00:31:40,433 --> 00:31:42,769
Tell them the presidents're called
on an emergency summit.
517
00:31:42,936 --> 00:31:45,271
They will not be reachable and
we have no further information.
518
00:31:45,672 --> 00:31:46,773
Unless you find them in the wreckage...
519
00:31:47,007 --> 00:31:49,776
...they're still out there with
about a three-hour head start.
520
00:31:50,176 --> 00:31:52,278
Put up the checkpoints for
ten miles around the crash site.
521
00:31:52,612 --> 00:31:55,615
I want this resolved tonight.
522
00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:07,093
I'm hungry. Give me one of those
Tootsie Rolls you've got.
523
00:32:08,094 --> 00:32:10,096
Wait a minute.
524
00:32:11,297 --> 00:32:12,799
Here's half. You owe me.
525
00:32:12,966 --> 00:32:14,300
I owe you?
526
00:32:14,401 --> 00:32:18,405
What, a penny? Man, you are
one cheap son of a bitch.
527
00:32:23,476 --> 00:32:25,812
I am one cheap son of a bitch.
528
00:32:25,979 --> 00:32:28,314
That's what'll save our backsides!
529
00:32:28,481 --> 00:32:32,819
I had the White House kitchen staff
track every meal.
530
00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:36,322
They have a record of
everything served, and to whom.
531
00:32:36,489 --> 00:32:37,824
You're cheaper than I thought.
532
00:32:37,991 --> 00:32:39,325
Stow it, sailor!
533
00:32:39,426 --> 00:32:42,829
The log will prove Haney was
at that lunch with Reynolds.
534
00:32:42,996 --> 00:32:47,334
And it's not in the National Archives,
it's in my presidential library in Ohio.
535
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:51,338
So I just call the library and have
them fax the records to key people.
536
00:32:51,438 --> 00:32:52,839
No, you can't call.
537
00:32:53,006 --> 00:32:56,343
Somebody wants us dead, when they
find we're not, they'll look for us.
538
00:32:56,843 --> 00:32:58,845
They'll be tapping phones.
539
00:32:59,012 --> 00:33:00,847
Our home phones, office phones.....
540
00:33:01,348 --> 00:33:03,850
How'll we contact the library?
541
00:33:04,150 --> 00:33:06,853
it's a nice night to walk to Ohio.
542
00:33:07,454 --> 00:33:09,856
-We don't know what state we're in.
-Come on, Grandpa.
543
00:33:10,357 --> 00:33:11,358
What'd you say?
544
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,360
You heard me.
545
00:33:13,526 --> 00:33:16,529
Try to keep up with me, buster.
546
00:33:23,770 --> 00:33:25,772
Joe Hollis?
547
00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:28,041
Thank you.
548
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,180
Hello, Joe.
549
00:33:35,281 --> 00:33:38,385
What an unexpected and
blood-curdeling surprise.
550
00:33:38,551 --> 00:33:41,388
Just know how to make a girl
get all gooey inside.
551
00:33:41,988 --> 00:33:44,391
-What've you heard about the scandal?
-Not a word.
552
00:33:44,791 --> 00:33:46,893
Excuse me, my salad's getting cold.
553
00:33:47,394 --> 00:33:49,896
Kramer's office cancelled
all of his appointments.
554
00:33:50,063 --> 00:33:50,897
He's disappeared.
555
00:33:51,398 --> 00:33:54,401
I have a tough time keeping track
of the Democrats--
556
00:33:54,501 --> 00:33:55,902
Douglas disappeared too.
557
00:33:56,069 --> 00:33:57,904
What a coincidence.
558
00:33:58,405 --> 00:34:01,908
If I hear so much as one word,
you'll be the first to know.
559
00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:04,411
Come on, what's going on here?
560
00:34:04,577 --> 00:34:08,581
Is it possible Kramer and Douglas
are in on this together?
561
00:34:09,816 --> 00:34:12,819
Over their dead bodies.
562
00:34:36,843 --> 00:34:38,845
How's it going?
563
00:34:52,759 --> 00:34:54,527
Are you them?
564
00:34:54,694 --> 00:34:56,029
Are you the real guys?
565
00:34:56,196 --> 00:34:57,530
Yeah, we are.
566
00:34:57,864 --> 00:34:59,532
Oh, man!
567
00:34:59,866 --> 00:35:01,534
I think you're awesome.
568
00:35:01,701 --> 00:35:03,036
No fair peeking.
569
00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:05,038
Sorry about that.
570
00:35:05,372 --> 00:35:07,040
I'm just kidding.
571
00:35:07,207 --> 00:35:12,212
I think you're doing a great job too.
572
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,082
It's an honor.
573
00:35:17,884 --> 00:35:19,552
No. I can't shake right now.
574
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,721
I have to keep my hands
on the first penis.
575
00:35:24,724 --> 00:35:27,560
No problem.
576
00:35:28,094 --> 00:35:31,097
it's a pleasure to meet ya!
577
00:35:39,506 --> 00:35:41,074
The first...
578
00:35:41,241 --> 00:35:42,075
...penis?
579
00:35:42,409 --> 00:35:45,412
I think that's what I'll call it
from now on.
580
00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:48,815
What do you think, Blinky?
581
00:35:54,621 --> 00:35:55,588
What's the deal?
582
00:35:55,822 --> 00:35:57,590
Bobby didn't say anything
about presidents.
583
00:35:57,757 --> 00:35:59,092
Figured I was working alone.
584
00:35:59,259 --> 00:36:01,094
It don't matter none.
585
00:36:01,261 --> 00:36:02,595
What's your name?
586
00:36:02,829 --> 00:36:03,596
Matt Douglas.
587
00:36:03,830 --> 00:36:05,598
No, stupid. I know you're
supposed to look like.
588
00:36:05,832 --> 00:36:07,600
What are your real names?
589
00:36:07,767 --> 00:36:09,602
Tom and...
590
00:36:09,936 --> 00:36:11,938
This is Blinky.
591
00:36:12,639 --> 00:36:14,107
Tom and Blinky.
592
00:36:14,274 --> 00:36:15,108
I'm Francis.
593
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,109
Let's get one thing straight.
594
00:36:16,543 --> 00:36:21,548
No sharing tips. it's every man
for himself until we get to Cleveland.
595
00:36:22,148 --> 00:36:24,150
Now let's rock and roll...
596
00:36:24,851 --> 00:36:25,618
We'll be right there.
597
00:36:26,152 --> 00:36:26,619
Cleveland?
598
00:36:27,153 --> 00:36:29,122
We're out of the woods, Blinky.
599
00:36:29,556 --> 00:36:31,524
You dirty son of a--
600
00:36:40,967 --> 00:36:42,969
Hey, everybody.
601
00:36:44,471 --> 00:36:47,474
Thank you very much.
602
00:36:52,312 --> 00:36:55,315
This is going to be fun.
603
00:37:02,822 --> 00:37:04,657
It's spooky.
He really looks like him.
604
00:37:04,991 --> 00:37:06,159
His nose is bigger.
605
00:37:06,326 --> 00:37:08,661
Have you ever met the real
President Kramer?
606
00:37:09,095 --> 00:37:12,165
Actually, I have. A great American.
607
00:37:12,499 --> 00:37:13,667
Give me a break.
608
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,169
"Our dreams are like children.
They need to be nurtured.
609
00:37:16,703 --> 00:37:17,671
"They need to be supported."
610
00:37:18,004 --> 00:37:19,673
"They need to eat vegetables."
611
00:37:20,173 --> 00:37:21,174
Prick.
612
00:37:22,208 --> 00:37:25,178
This is so weird. I shouldn't
tell you this, but two years ago...
613
00:37:25,612 --> 00:37:29,683
...I had a thing with the real Douglas,
at a Fourth of July do.
614
00:37:29,849 --> 00:37:31,685
And we did it.
615
00:37:31,851 --> 00:37:33,186
How about that.
616
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,188
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
617
00:37:35,355 --> 00:37:37,190
He was a president.
He had his four years.
618
00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:39,192
We don't need
another crappy book.
619
00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:40,694
I thought he was a good president.
620
00:37:41,227 --> 00:37:44,197
All these old guys want to stay
in the game, but they don't have it.
621
00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:47,367
Lie down, you're dead
and you don't know it.
622
00:37:49,035 --> 00:37:49,703
Did you see that?
623
00:37:50,036 --> 00:37:50,704
A muscle spasm.
624
00:37:51,037 --> 00:37:54,040
I've been getting them lately.
I'm terribly sorry.
625
00:37:54,374 --> 00:37:55,208
There it goes again.
626
00:37:55,375 --> 00:37:57,711
It just seems that--
It's very embarrassing.
627
00:37:57,877 --> 00:37:59,212
I better take my medication.
628
00:37:59,746 --> 00:38:02,716
I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how was he? Any good?
629
00:38:02,949 --> 00:38:05,218
It was a lot like his presidency.
630
00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:09,456
There was a lot of talk leading
up to it, then he didn't do much.
631
00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:12,726
Excuse me.
632
00:38:12,892 --> 00:38:14,728
Douglas, this thing stops in Akron...
633
00:38:15,261 --> 00:38:17,731
...which isn't far from Cuyahoga Falls,
where my library is.
634
00:38:18,164 --> 00:38:19,733
What's it doing there?
Weren't you born in Cleveland?
635
00:38:20,066 --> 00:38:23,236
Yeah, but Cleveland wouldn't cut me
a decent deal on property taxes.
636
00:38:23,770 --> 00:38:25,238
Moving that house was a bitch.
637
00:38:25,772 --> 00:38:29,743
But the financial benefits
have been fantastic.
638
00:38:37,650 --> 00:38:40,653
I don't think we'll make it
to Akron
639
00:38:41,354 --> 00:38:44,858
Let's start at the front
and move back.
640
00:38:45,358 --> 00:38:49,362
Meet us at the next station.
That's where we'll pull them off.
641
00:39:33,807 --> 00:39:35,809
Oh, great.
642
00:39:36,076 --> 00:39:38,078
The end of the line.
643
00:39:49,089 --> 00:39:51,424
My God! How will we do this?
644
00:39:51,591 --> 00:39:53,426
Simple. Jump, tuck, and roll.
645
00:39:53,993 --> 00:39:57,430
It's all hay and grass out there.
It's the "amber waves of grain...'
646
00:39:57,597 --> 00:39:57,931
I can't.
647
00:39:58,331 --> 00:39:58,932
You can.
648
00:39:59,332 --> 00:40:00,934
-I can't!
-You can do it!
649
00:40:01,101 --> 00:40:02,435
-I can't
-Close your eyes.
650
00:40:02,602 --> 00:40:04,437
-We'll jump together.
-Don't give me that.
651
00:40:04,738 --> 00:40:06,439
-I can't do this!
-CIose them!
652
00:40:06,773 --> 00:40:07,440
Count!
653
00:40:07,574 --> 00:40:08,441
One!
654
00:40:08,942 --> 00:40:10,944
Two!
655
00:40:12,245 --> 00:40:14,247
God, that felt good.
656
00:40:16,116 --> 00:40:19,119
One, two, three.
657
00:40:40,540 --> 00:40:42,542
Jesus.
658
00:40:46,312 --> 00:40:48,314
Where are you?
659
00:40:48,815 --> 00:40:50,817
Damn it!
660
00:40:51,818 --> 00:40:53,887
Stop yelling, you dick.
661
00:40:54,054 --> 00:40:55,388
Where are you?
662
00:40:55,722 --> 00:40:57,724
I'm over here.
663
00:41:05,932 --> 00:41:07,400
Nice "amber waves."
664
00:41:07,567 --> 00:41:10,904
I got a chunk of
"purple mountain majesty" up my ass.
665
00:41:11,071 --> 00:41:11,905
Here.
666
00:41:12,238 --> 00:41:14,407
Just don't. Just don't help me.
667
00:41:14,574 --> 00:41:16,409
I don't need you helping me.
668
00:41:16,576 --> 00:41:17,911
That's fine by me.
669
00:41:18,078 --> 00:41:20,080
Let's go.
670
00:41:21,448 --> 00:41:23,450
Do you smell food?
671
00:41:37,597 --> 00:41:39,933
I'm out of money.
Lend me five bucks for a burger.
672
00:41:40,166 --> 00:41:42,435
-What kind of burger?
-The one with bacon.
673
00:41:42,602 --> 00:41:44,604
it's $1.99.
674
00:41:46,373 --> 00:41:48,942
You want $5 to buy
a $1.99 hamburger?
675
00:41:49,175 --> 00:41:52,178
And you wonder why
the Democrats are in trouble.
676
00:41:58,118 --> 00:42:00,120
We got company.
677
00:42:08,495 --> 00:42:11,965
Do you know who those two guys are?
They're presidents.
678
00:42:12,132 --> 00:42:13,967
Cool.
679
00:42:14,501 --> 00:42:17,504
Presidents of what?
680
00:42:19,139 --> 00:42:19,973
Cleveland, Ohio.
681
00:42:20,407 --> 00:42:21,474
I hope this works.
682
00:42:21,808 --> 00:42:22,976
We have no other choice.
683
00:42:23,510 --> 00:42:25,979
Hi. I'm Matt Douglas.
This is President Kramer.
684
00:42:26,312 --> 00:42:26,980
How do you do?
685
00:42:27,313 --> 00:42:29,983
I'm sure it's a bit overwhelming
for you to meet us like this.
686
00:42:30,517 --> 00:42:32,986
We're on a fact-finding mission for
the Interstate Commerce Commission.
687
00:42:33,153 --> 00:42:36,156
Headed for Ohio?
688
00:42:38,024 --> 00:42:40,994
We have to ride with you so
we can gain a personal perspective...
689
00:42:41,327 --> 00:42:43,997
...on the transportation capabilities
of our interstate system.
690
00:42:44,531 --> 00:42:47,500
Nobody rides for free.
Cost you 50 bucks.
691
00:42:47,667 --> 00:42:49,502
We don't have any cash.
692
00:42:50,036 --> 00:42:51,004
I'll take your watch.
693
00:42:51,237 --> 00:42:53,006
You must be joking.
694
00:42:53,173 --> 00:42:57,177
That's a Constellation.
It was given to me by Gorbachev.
695
00:43:06,553 --> 00:43:09,022
This really steams my clams.
696
00:43:09,189 --> 00:43:12,525
There are two watches like that
in the entire world.
697
00:43:12,759 --> 00:43:16,029
Reagan has one, and now Shamu,
the killer hick, has the other.
698
00:43:16,363 --> 00:43:19,032
Shut up. We don't want
to piss her off.
699
00:43:19,199 --> 00:43:20,533
These burritos, really great.
700
00:43:20,967 --> 00:43:23,536
Better you're eating them.
I'm dieting.
701
00:43:23,703 --> 00:43:25,538
Really? You don't need to.
702
00:43:25,872 --> 00:43:28,041
What's wrong with you?
I'm obese.
703
00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,542
I don't think you are.
704
00:43:29,776 --> 00:43:32,045
You must be one of those rare gals...
705
00:43:32,212 --> 00:43:35,548
...who look good carrying an extra
one-, two hundred pounds.
706
00:43:35,782 --> 00:43:38,551
What are you saying? I'm a fat pig.
707
00:43:38,718 --> 00:43:42,722
You Washington boys don't know
the truth when it bites you in the butt.
708
00:43:43,223 --> 00:43:46,259
Nice job not pissing her off.
709
00:43:47,827 --> 00:43:50,163
So, what are we hauling?
710
00:43:50,663 --> 00:43:53,667
Nothing exciting. Farm equipment.
711
00:44:00,340 --> 00:44:02,342
I must pull over.
712
00:44:04,577 --> 00:44:07,180
Not to worry anybody, but you
might want to make a run for it.
713
00:44:07,781 --> 00:44:09,783
What the hell...?
714
00:44:12,352 --> 00:44:14,187
Come on, come on, come on.
715
00:44:16,956 --> 00:44:17,691
Halt. Stop where you are.
716
00:44:18,358 --> 00:44:21,194
Immigration and Naturalization Service.
717
00:44:21,361 --> 00:44:23,363
What?
718
00:44:28,768 --> 00:44:31,204
Farm equipment! I knew that
damn broad was trouble.
719
00:44:31,538 --> 00:44:35,542
All I care is that chopper's not for us.
720
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:41,214
That chopper's for us.
721
00:44:41,381 --> 00:44:42,215
This is INS One-One.
722
00:44:42,449 --> 00:44:46,219
You are interfering with an official
operation. Vacate the area.
723
00:44:46,386 --> 00:44:49,222
We are in the middle of a highly
classified NSA peration.
724
00:44:49,789 --> 00:44:51,224
You are ordered to leave the area.
725
00:44:51,658 --> 00:44:56,663
I will not abort my mission without
verification of your authority.
726
00:44:57,831 --> 00:45:00,834
Verification acknowledged.
Have a nice night.
727
00:45:03,636 --> 00:45:05,638
Se�ores...
728
00:45:05,905 --> 00:45:07,907
...down here!
729
00:45:27,327 --> 00:45:29,262
-What do you have?
-Nothing over here!
730
00:45:29,696 --> 00:45:32,699
Let's face it, Douglas.
We're dead.
731
00:45:32,932 --> 00:45:34,768
They not kill you, Se�or.
They send you back.
732
00:45:34,934 --> 00:45:36,770
You wait one month
then you try again.
733
00:45:36,870 --> 00:45:39,773
I try four times already.
I love this country.
734
00:45:39,873 --> 00:45:42,042
Do me a favor. Put "el socko" in it.
735
00:45:42,042 --> 00:45:44,077
Don't mind him. He's just cranky...
736
00:45:44,077 --> 00:45:47,013
...'cause he has a tiny penis.
737
00:45:47,380 --> 00:45:48,682
What's your name?
738
00:45:48,682 --> 00:45:53,720
Ernesto. What's yours?
739
00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:54,287
Russell with the tiny penis?
740
00:45:54,287 --> 00:45:55,422
Bingo.
741
00:45:55,622 --> 00:45:57,290
Are you talking about me?
742
00:45:57,457 --> 00:45:59,459
Are you cold?
743
00:46:00,093 --> 00:46:01,795
Here. Take this.
744
00:46:01,961 --> 00:46:04,297
-No, no, it's okay.
-Take it.
745
00:46:04,397 --> 00:46:07,400
I could be dead soon. I won't need it.
746
00:46:15,975 --> 00:46:17,811
Now you take this.
747
00:46:18,111 --> 00:46:19,813
-No, don't worry about it.
-Take it.
748
00:46:20,113 --> 00:46:21,815
You give to me now, I give to you.
749
00:46:21,915 --> 00:46:24,818
it's helped me get to my new home.
750
00:46:25,218 --> 00:46:28,221
Maybe this'll help you get
where you have to go.
751
00:46:29,456 --> 00:46:29,989
Thanks.
752
00:46:33,226 --> 00:46:35,228
Damn it.
753
00:46:36,329 --> 00:46:39,332
They're coming.
754
00:46:40,433 --> 00:46:42,335
-You're crazy.
-It is true!
755
00:46:42,635 --> 00:46:44,637
Everyone in this country has a gun.
756
00:46:51,444 --> 00:46:53,446
There he goes!
757
00:47:01,254 --> 00:47:02,856
My coat. They think he's me.
758
00:47:03,356 --> 00:47:06,359
He's not, so he'll be okay.
Let's get out of here.
759
00:47:06,526 --> 00:47:08,928
Oh, hey, by the way...
760
00:47:08,928 --> 00:47:12,799
I speak Spanish fluently...
761
00:47:44,230 --> 00:47:45,732
Let's talk.
762
00:47:45,899 --> 00:47:47,734
-Why?
-I'm bored.
763
00:47:47,901 --> 00:47:48,735
I have nothing to say.
764
00:47:49,235 --> 00:47:51,738
I have nothing to say to you
We can still talk
765
00:47:52,706 --> 00:47:56,142
My parents proved that conclusively.
766
00:47:56,409 --> 00:47:58,244
What do you miss most
about the office?
767
00:47:58,411 --> 00:48:01,414
I don't miss anything.
I don't live in the past.
768
00:48:03,149 --> 00:48:04,250
What about Rita?
769
00:48:04,417 --> 00:48:08,254
God, I do miss Rita. Greatest cook
the White House ever had.
770
00:48:08,421 --> 00:48:12,258
The only cook the White House ever had.
She started with Washington.
771
00:48:12,425 --> 00:48:15,762
When I couln't sleep, I'd go
downstairs and she'd make a dessert
772
00:48:16,062 --> 00:48:19,265
It was cream puff with
raspberry sauce and, I don't know.....
773
00:48:20,533 --> 00:48:20,767
Did you ever had one of her pizzas?
774
00:48:21,368 --> 00:48:24,371
It was like a wet dream
with a crust.
775
00:48:25,438 --> 00:48:27,273
A wet dream?
776
00:48:27,374 --> 00:48:30,777
I don't need to hear Russell Kramer
saying the words, "wet dream."
777
00:48:31,077 --> 00:48:32,779
I'll wake up screaming every night.
778
00:48:33,179 --> 00:48:35,281
-There's nothing wrong with wet dreams.
-Stop.
779
00:48:35,448 --> 00:48:36,783
I had a few as a kid.
780
00:48:36,950 --> 00:48:39,953
I'll look for the exhibit
in your library.
781
00:48:42,455 --> 00:48:44,290
Okay. I got one.
782
00:48:44,391 --> 00:48:48,294
When you were in the White House,
who were you most excited to meet?
783
00:48:48,795 --> 00:48:49,796
Nelson Mandela
784
00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:52,298
-I'm not a reporter.
-Ella Fitzgerald.
785
00:48:52,465 --> 00:48:55,301
Mandela was a great man,
but he couldn't sing.
786
00:48:55,468 --> 00:48:58,471
Joe DiMaggio. That was a thrill.
787
00:49:03,810 --> 00:49:05,812
What?
788
00:49:06,813 --> 00:49:08,815
Eighty million.
789
00:49:09,916 --> 00:49:14,921
That's how many people
voted against me last time out.
790
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,324
That's how many people didn't...
791
00:49:18,892 --> 00:49:21,828
...trust me, didn't...
792
00:49:21,995 --> 00:49:23,830
...like me...
793
00:49:23,963 --> 00:49:25,331
...didn't.....
794
00:49:25,832 --> 00:49:27,834
Who knows?
795
00:49:32,339 --> 00:49:36,343
I stayed in bed for a week and a half
after they voted me out.
796
00:49:40,947 --> 00:49:43,850
Let's stop talking.
We're about to bond. I'll vomit
797
00:49:44,351 --> 00:49:45,352
Go to hell.
798
00:49:45,518 --> 00:49:47,520
Now that's better.
799
00:49:48,788 --> 00:49:50,790
What time you got?
800
00:49:51,491 --> 00:49:53,493
Screw you.
801
00:49:55,295 --> 00:49:57,297
Hold it, hold it.
802
00:49:57,697 --> 00:49:59,699
I think I hear people.
803
00:50:08,775 --> 00:50:13,046
Wayne, slow down. That bacon
doesn't have wings... it won't fly away.
804
00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:16,216
I want to get back on the road.
805
00:50:17,117 --> 00:50:19,552
Sweet Jesus.
806
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,554
Good morning.
807
00:50:21,788 --> 00:50:24,057
It's wonderful to see
an American family out...
808
00:50:24,457 --> 00:50:26,559
...enjoying the splendor of our land.
809
00:50:26,993 --> 00:50:28,061
President Kramer?
810
00:50:28,228 --> 00:50:31,064
Yes, ma'am.
I'm so pleased to meet you. Sit down.
811
00:50:31,398 --> 00:50:33,566
That's all. You can put it at ease.
812
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:37,070
I'm on a fact-finding mission from
the Department of the interior.
813
00:50:37,303 --> 00:50:41,574
Are the rest areas conveniently
located and well maintained?
814
00:50:42,142 --> 00:50:44,144
Oh, yes, sir.
815
00:50:44,744 --> 00:50:45,578
'Morning.
816
00:50:45,812 --> 00:50:47,080
President Douglas.
817
00:50:47,247 --> 00:50:50,083
it's been a delight speaking to you.
818
00:50:50,250 --> 00:50:52,585
Don't forget, these woods
are your heritage.
819
00:50:53,019 --> 00:50:54,587
Enjoy them and protect them.
820
00:50:55,021 --> 00:50:56,589
They deserve our respect.
821
00:50:56,756 --> 00:50:58,091
These trees are like our children.
822
00:50:58,525 --> 00:51:01,528
Get in the damn car!
823
00:51:13,773 --> 00:51:16,109
We're just south of Galax, Virginia.
824
00:51:17,510 --> 00:51:19,112
In a few miles we hit 77.
825
00:51:19,279 --> 00:51:22,115
That takes us directly into Ohio.
We're fine.
826
00:51:22,282 --> 00:51:23,616
Unless we run into trouble.
827
00:51:23,950 --> 00:51:26,953
Which I predict we won't.
828
00:51:41,301 --> 00:51:43,636
If you told us how important
the mission was...
829
00:51:43,870 --> 00:51:46,139
...we'd have loaned you
the car straight out.
830
00:51:46,706 --> 00:51:50,643
Again, we apologize, but those boys
from the Department of the Interior...
831
00:51:50,810 --> 00:51:52,145
...can be very secretive.
832
00:51:52,379 --> 00:51:55,648
We're just happy you're headed
for Cleveland.
833
00:51:55,882 --> 00:51:57,650
We're happy to do our part.
834
00:51:57,984 --> 00:52:00,153
Another out-of-state license plate.
835
00:52:00,487 --> 00:52:02,155
We're hoping to spot all 50 states.
836
00:52:02,589 --> 00:52:03,656
We're getting there.
837
00:52:04,090 --> 00:52:06,159
Can anyone make that one out?
838
00:52:06,326 --> 00:52:08,328
Looks llike a "U."
839
00:52:08,995 --> 00:52:10,663
Utah!
840
00:52:10,897 --> 00:52:13,166
That's a U.S. government plate.
841
00:52:13,333 --> 00:52:16,336
Guy looks like a cop.
842
00:52:19,506 --> 00:52:21,574
Hey, good buddy!
God bless America!
843
00:52:21,574 --> 00:52:22,676
Hey, goodbuddy!
God bIess America!
844
00:52:23,109 --> 00:52:25,178
Keep on trucking!
845
00:52:25,345 --> 00:52:27,347
Wave, Kevin!
846
00:52:28,615 --> 00:52:31,184
He wasn't too friendly now,
was he?
847
00:52:31,351 --> 00:52:34,354
Mom, the Presidents are squishing me!
848
00:52:34,854 --> 00:52:36,856
Isn't this fun?
849
00:52:51,438 --> 00:52:54,708
We're never getting to Ohio.
Not the way this guy drives.
850
00:52:54,874 --> 00:52:57,711
Every 500 feet they stop to take
another damn picture.
851
00:52:57,877 --> 00:52:59,212
The Donner Party moved faster.
852
00:52:59,546 --> 00:53:02,549
Shut up. I'm trying to sleep.
853
00:53:03,883 --> 00:53:07,220
Oh, my God he's squeezing
my breast again.
854
00:53:07,554 --> 00:53:09,723
This time, pretend not to enjoy it.
855
00:53:10,156 --> 00:53:13,159
Shut your cakehole, Douglas.
856
00:53:22,569 --> 00:53:27,240
We'd have been fine outside in the tent,
but thanks for sharing the beds.
857
00:53:27,407 --> 00:53:30,243
It means a lot.
858
00:53:30,410 --> 00:53:33,413
You know, we voted for you.
859
00:53:36,483 --> 00:53:38,752
I'm sorry about that, sir.
860
00:53:39,185 --> 00:53:40,253
We're Republicans.
861
00:53:40,587 --> 00:53:42,756
At least you can admit it.
862
00:53:42,989 --> 00:53:46,259
That's the first step
towards recovery.
863
00:53:46,860 --> 00:53:49,829
I'm hot.
864
00:54:00,273 --> 00:54:02,108
How much longer to Cleveland?
865
00:54:02,609 --> 00:54:05,612
I may have to call the department,
tell them when to expect us.
866
00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:08,114
About eight to ten hours.
867
00:54:08,281 --> 00:54:10,116
After we drop you off...
868
00:54:10,617 --> 00:54:13,620
...i might take the family up
to see Mount Rushmore.
869
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:16,122
One of America's greatest
natural wonders, son.
870
00:54:16,723 --> 00:54:19,125
Not really.
It's not a natural wonder
871
00:54:19,292 --> 00:54:22,629
A man by the name of
Gutzon Borglum carved it.
872
00:54:22,796 --> 00:54:24,798
Someone carved it?
873
00:54:25,632 --> 00:54:27,634
That ruins the whole thing.
874
00:54:29,302 --> 00:54:30,637
Diaper Patrol, Matt.
875
00:54:30,937 --> 00:54:33,139
We'll need those Pampers again.
876
00:54:33,306 --> 00:54:35,141
Oh, boy.....
877
00:54:35,308 --> 00:54:36,142
Is he healthy?
878
00:54:36,309 --> 00:54:38,144
Who's on Mount Rushmore?
879
00:54:38,745 --> 00:54:41,648
There's Abe Lincoln.
He chopped down the cherry tree.
880
00:54:41,815 --> 00:54:44,150
There's Franklin Theodore Roosevelt.
881
00:54:44,317 --> 00:54:47,153
He kilt him a bear
when he was only three.
882
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,656
You got to be kidding, right?
883
00:54:49,823 --> 00:54:53,159
Lincoln's mixed up with Washington.
Roosevelt, with Davy Crockett.
884
00:54:53,460 --> 00:54:56,162
Do you have any idea
what you're talking about?
885
00:54:56,463 --> 00:54:59,165
No disrespect, sir,
but you're in my car.
886
00:54:59,733 --> 00:55:00,667
You're in my country.
887
00:55:00,967 --> 00:55:02,669
Our country.
Get your facts straight.
888
00:55:03,069 --> 00:55:05,672
How do you expect your son
to respect history?
889
00:55:05,839 --> 00:55:08,174
That kind of ignorance is dangerous.
890
00:55:08,775 --> 00:55:12,679
-What about our nation right now?
-Wayne, don't.
891
00:55:12,846 --> 00:55:15,148
The country's falling apart.
People are losing their homes.
892
00:55:15,582 --> 00:55:17,650
They can't find work.
893
00:55:17,784 --> 00:55:20,653
You're talking about ignorance.
You're the ignorant ones. Both of ya.
894
00:55:20,820 --> 00:55:22,655
You've ignored
the voice of the people.
895
00:55:23,189 --> 00:55:24,157
The voice of the people.
896
00:55:24,691 --> 00:55:26,159
There is no such thing.
897
00:55:26,493 --> 00:55:29,662
You got 240 million voices
all yelling for something different.
898
00:55:29,829 --> 00:55:33,166
The only thing you all agree on
is you don't want higher taxes.
899
00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:35,335
The voice of the people.
My fanny.
900
00:55:36,703 --> 00:55:38,705
Pull over, Wayne.
901
00:55:44,344 --> 00:55:48,348
Kevin, run, throw this
in the trash for Mama, okay?
902
00:55:49,516 --> 00:55:52,519
There we go.
903
00:55:55,355 --> 00:55:57,357
Please get out of our car.
904
00:55:59,359 --> 00:56:02,362
Listen, I'm sorry.....
905
00:56:06,066 --> 00:56:06,399
We invited you into our home...
906
00:56:07,634 --> 00:56:09,202
...not our car.
907
00:56:09,536 --> 00:56:11,538
Our home.
908
00:56:13,340 --> 00:56:19,346
We lost our jobs because of
your budget cuts, President Kramer.
909
00:56:19,879 --> 00:56:21,881
And we lost our home...
910
00:56:22,415 --> 00:56:23,717
...because of your...
911
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:25,719
...economic downturn...
912
00:56:26,052 --> 00:56:27,721
...President Douglas.
913
00:56:28,254 --> 00:56:31,224
All we have now
is the slim chance of a job...
914
00:56:31,424 --> 00:56:34,427
...at my uncle's factory in Cleveland.
915
00:56:35,061 --> 00:56:38,064
So I will ask you once again.....
916
00:56:38,365 --> 00:56:39,733
Please...
917
00:56:39,933 --> 00:56:42,936
...get out of our car.
918
00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:01,121
Joe, it's me.
919
00:57:01,421 --> 00:57:03,623
Where are you?
What's going on?
920
00:57:04,124 --> 00:57:04,624
I'm with Kramer.
921
00:57:04,891 --> 00:57:05,625
Are you kidding me?
922
00:57:06,126 --> 00:57:09,129
Haney had Charlie Reynolds killed,
now they're trying to kill us.
923
00:57:09,396 --> 00:57:10,130
What? Haney?
924
00:57:10,463 --> 00:57:13,133
I'm pretty sure.
He sent Marine One for us.
925
00:57:13,233 --> 00:57:14,634
We escaped before it blew up.
926
00:57:14,801 --> 00:57:15,635
My God.
927
00:57:15,735 --> 00:57:19,139
I didn't want to call anyone,
but you're the only person I trust.
928
00:57:19,305 --> 00:57:22,142
Listen, get in touch
with the CIA contacts.
929
00:57:22,242 --> 00:57:24,644
See if they can find out
what this is about.
930
00:57:25,145 --> 00:57:26,146
Keep out of sight.
931
00:57:26,646 --> 00:57:27,647
It's okay.
932
00:57:27,814 --> 00:57:32,819
I haven't seen any NSA today
so I'm guessing we lost them.
933
00:57:44,330 --> 00:57:46,166
They're moving north.
934
00:57:46,466 --> 00:57:48,168
What a coincidence
935
00:57:48,668 --> 00:57:50,670
So are we.
936
00:58:06,786 --> 00:58:09,789
Oh, baby.
937
00:58:13,693 --> 00:58:14,194
Excuse me.
938
00:58:14,694 --> 00:58:16,696
How much is that piece of pie?
939
00:58:16,863 --> 00:58:17,864
$1.50.
940
00:58:21,701 --> 00:58:23,203
Never mind.
941
00:58:23,603 --> 00:58:25,605
But thank you.
942
00:58:31,211 --> 00:58:32,212
Here you go.
943
00:58:32,379 --> 00:58:33,380
It's on the house.
944
00:58:34,114 --> 00:58:35,715
I'm sorry I couldn't do that.
945
00:58:35,882 --> 00:58:38,885
I said it was on the house, old man.
946
00:58:39,386 --> 00:58:42,389
Old man?!
947
00:58:53,233 --> 00:58:55,235
Old man.
948
00:58:57,537 --> 00:58:59,239
Okay, let's go.
949
00:58:59,406 --> 00:58:59,739
What's wrong?
950
00:59:00,340 --> 00:59:03,743
I just want to get out of here.
I'm calling my wife.
951
00:59:04,144 --> 00:59:05,745
I don't give a damn
if the phone is tapped.
952
00:59:06,046 --> 00:59:11,051
Do what you want, but when the NSA
shows up, we'll know who gave us away.
953
00:59:31,371 --> 00:59:33,373
Good morning.
954
00:59:34,441 --> 00:59:35,275
Oh, my!
955
00:59:35,775 --> 00:59:37,777
Oh, my! is this for real?
956
00:59:38,278 --> 00:59:39,279
Is this a joke or what?
957
00:59:39,579 --> 00:59:42,282
-No, it's really us.
-No! Get out of here!
958
00:59:42,582 --> 00:59:43,283
Get out!
959
00:59:43,450 --> 00:59:45,785
What's wrong? Oh, my God!
960
00:59:46,286 --> 00:59:48,288
-President Douglas!
-And President Kramer!
961
00:59:48,588 --> 00:59:51,291
On our shift!
962
00:59:51,591 --> 00:59:53,793
We'd like to rent a car.
963
00:59:53,893 --> 00:59:57,297
We only have two cars left
because of the livestock auction.
964
00:59:57,597 --> 00:59:59,599
Would you like a Hyundai or a Lexus?
965
01:00:02,969 --> 01:00:05,805
-Stupid' stupid, stupid.
-Oh, I'm sorry!
966
01:00:05,972 --> 01:00:07,307
Miss Airhead at your service.
967
01:00:07,474 --> 01:00:11,478
Now we'll need to see
some identification, please.
968
01:00:30,630 --> 01:00:31,331
Well?
969
01:00:31,498 --> 01:00:34,834
What? I haven't driven myself
since my first year in the House.
970
01:00:35,435 --> 01:00:38,438
Give me a second.
971
01:00:51,251 --> 01:00:54,254
There, like riding a bike.
972
01:01:10,704 --> 01:01:14,774
Will you stop whistling please?
I'm trying to sleep over here.
973
01:01:15,008 --> 01:01:17,277
Sleeping too much
is a sign of depression.
974
01:01:17,444 --> 01:01:20,280
Keep whistling and I'll put
a depression in your skull.
975
01:01:20,647 --> 01:01:23,283
We've. got eight hours
before we get to the library.
976
01:01:23,450 --> 01:01:24,284
I'm trying to stay alert.
977
01:01:24,651 --> 01:01:25,285
I hate that song.
978
01:01:25,852 --> 01:01:28,788
-So do I
-I made up words to the damn thing.
979
01:01:28,855 --> 01:01:33,293
I made up words to "Hail to the Chief."
I sing them to myself when I hear it.
980
01:01:33,526 --> 01:01:34,794
I made up words too.
981
01:01:35,161 --> 01:01:36,796
-Let me hear yours.
-You go first.
982
01:01:37,163 --> 01:01:40,166
No, you do yours,
then I'll sing mine.
983
01:01:42,035 --> 01:01:44,804
"Hail to the Chief, he's the chief
and he needs hailing.
984
01:01:45,372 --> 01:01:49,376
"He is the Chief, so everybody
hail like crazy."
985
01:01:49,976 --> 01:01:52,979
That's more or less how it...
986
01:01:54,047 --> 01:01:56,816
Let's hear your version, Gershwin.
987
01:01:57,050 --> 01:01:58,818
"No?" I sang mine.
988
01:01:59,185 --> 01:02:01,187
You're an idiot.
989
01:02:12,565 --> 01:02:15,835
CNN's set up near the park.
Maybe you should put this on.
990
01:02:16,002 --> 01:02:17,837
Not so fast, Carl.
Slow down.
991
01:02:18,004 --> 01:02:20,840
I don't like people running faster
than I do. It makes me look poky.
992
01:02:21,207 --> 01:02:21,841
Sorry.
993
01:02:22,008 --> 01:02:23,843
Lakers? I thought
we were sold in Los Angeles.
994
01:02:24,344 --> 01:02:26,346
You cut back on disaster relief.
995
01:02:26,513 --> 01:02:28,348
Too fast again.
996
01:02:28,548 --> 01:02:32,552
I don't want to wear this
I'm a Houston fan
997
01:02:33,119 --> 01:02:35,121
Hey, a hat.
998
01:02:38,124 --> 01:02:39,359
Kaye Griffin called today.
999
01:02:39,759 --> 01:02:42,362
She's ready to report that Douglas
and Kramer have disappeared...
1000
01:02:42,862 --> 01:02:45,365
...and are working to expose a cover-up.
1001
01:02:45,632 --> 01:02:46,866
I'll look into it.
1002
01:02:47,033 --> 01:02:51,037
You better. I want those idiots
found before they dig any deeper.
1003
01:03:04,084 --> 01:03:05,485
What are you doing?
1004
01:03:05,752 --> 01:03:07,487
I needed a cup of coffee.
1005
01:03:07,821 --> 01:03:09,489
Good. Did you get me one?
1006
01:03:09,956 --> 01:03:11,491
You cheap bastard.
1007
01:03:11,758 --> 01:03:13,493
I only had 50 cents.
1008
01:03:13,660 --> 01:03:14,494
Give me a sip.
1009
01:03:14,661 --> 01:03:18,998
Yeah, I'm about to share coffee with
the Washington love machine. No dice.
1010
01:03:19,265 --> 01:03:22,002
You could spit in a petri dish
and start a whole civilization.
1011
01:03:22,168 --> 01:03:25,171
-Here, want to lick the lid?
-Screw,you.
1012
01:03:25,672 --> 01:03:28,675
Give me that.
1013
01:03:30,677 --> 01:03:32,012
Decaf, you pussy.
1014
01:03:32,345 --> 01:03:35,348
I must go find a john.
1015
01:03:52,198 --> 01:03:52,532
Agent Wilkerson.
1016
01:03:53,133 --> 01:03:55,535
We have a reason to believe
your life is in danger.
1017
01:03:55,802 --> 01:03:58,805
We must transfer you out of the area.
1018
01:04:00,206 --> 01:04:02,042
"Aye, Macarena!"
1019
01:04:02,542 --> 01:04:05,045
If you could just step out
of the car--
1020
01:04:05,378 --> 01:04:07,380
Jesus!
1021
01:04:13,887 --> 01:04:14,554
Hurry up!
1022
01:04:14,721 --> 01:04:15,555
Get in!
1023
01:04:15,822 --> 01:04:17,057
Did we get collision coverage?
1024
01:04:17,223 --> 01:04:19,225
-Why?
-Nothing.
1025
01:04:22,028 --> 01:04:24,030
-Look out!
-Hold on!
1026
01:04:44,918 --> 01:04:46,086
Get it out.
1027
01:04:46,252 --> 01:04:47,587
I'm trying.
1028
01:04:47,754 --> 01:04:50,757
I can't see! Get it out!
1029
01:05:03,837 --> 01:05:04,838
Go!
1030
01:05:16,449 --> 01:05:19,452
-Nice going, Mario.
-Shut up.
1031
01:05:23,289 --> 01:05:24,290
That way!
1032
01:05:27,527 --> 01:05:30,530
Oh, not good.
1033
01:05:32,532 --> 01:05:34,534
Come on, let's go.
1034
01:05:39,706 --> 01:05:42,709
-Now what?
-Just blend in
1035
01:05:52,552 --> 01:05:53,386
How are you?
1036
01:05:53,787 --> 01:05:54,387
President Kramer?
1037
01:05:54,888 --> 01:05:56,890
President Douglas?
1038
01:05:57,057 --> 01:05:57,891
This is amazing.
1039
01:05:58,391 --> 01:06:01,394
We march in these all the time
1040
01:06:25,518 --> 01:06:26,419
My Lord and Taylor!
1041
01:06:27,821 --> 01:06:27,921
What are you doing?
1042
01:06:28,121 --> 01:06:28,922
Are you coming out?
1043
01:06:29,422 --> 01:06:31,424
No, no. I've always
supported gay rights.
1044
01:06:31,791 --> 01:06:34,794
I'm not coming out. He is.
1045
01:06:36,863 --> 01:06:37,931
Closet case. Sad
1046
01:06:39,132 --> 01:06:40,300
You talking about me?
1047
01:06:42,302 --> 01:06:42,969
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave Here.
1048
01:06:42,969 --> 01:06:45,438
Don't hide who you really are.
Be brave. Here
1049
01:06:45,805 --> 01:06:47,440
it's a freedom-ring necklace.
1050
01:06:47,607 --> 01:06:49,609
Wear it with pride.
1051
01:06:50,810 --> 01:06:52,812
Come here
1052
01:06:54,114 --> 01:06:54,948
What's wrong?
1053
01:06:55,181 --> 01:06:56,449
I don't think you can help.
1054
01:06:56,683 --> 01:07:00,687
Unless you and your ruby slippers
can get us to Cuyahoga Falls.
1055
01:07:01,121 --> 01:07:04,124
I have some friends who might help.
1056
01:07:36,356 --> 01:07:40,527
After that bike ride, I'm changing
my position on an important issue.
1057
01:07:40,694 --> 01:07:44,531
I think the military can definitely
use some of those gals.
1058
01:07:44,698 --> 01:07:47,534
Now is this impressive or what?
1059
01:07:47,667 --> 01:07:50,036
Research room is down that way.
1060
01:07:50,203 --> 01:07:53,206
Wait a minute.
1061
01:07:54,674 --> 01:07:57,677
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1062
01:07:58,578 --> 01:08:01,581
How about this?
1063
01:08:05,719 --> 01:08:08,054
Oh, you got to be kidding.
1064
01:08:08,388 --> 01:08:12,058
Our dreams are like our children.
1065
01:08:12,392 --> 01:08:16,062
Don't you fall into the trap.
Democrats are full of crap.
1066
01:08:16,196 --> 01:08:19,065
Anything you really like,
I can get it for you at cost.
1067
01:08:19,232 --> 01:08:21,568
I feel dirty.
1068
01:08:21,735 --> 01:08:23,069
Have you found it yet?
1069
01:08:23,269 --> 01:08:25,572
Working on it.
You never got this.
1070
01:08:25,905 --> 01:08:27,574
I was Time's Man of the Year.
1071
01:08:27,907 --> 01:08:28,575
So was Hitler.
1072
01:08:28,908 --> 01:08:30,910
Not twice.
1073
01:08:31,911 --> 01:08:33,079
Here it is.
1074
01:08:33,279 --> 01:08:36,082
"Chef's log: October 14th,
lunch, Oval Office...
1075
01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:38,084
"...President Kramer
and Charles Reynolds.
1076
01:08:38,618 --> 01:08:43,623
"Ham-and-cheese omelettes.
$6.95 each." What...?
1077
01:08:45,925 --> 01:08:47,594
Where's Haney?
1078
01:08:47,927 --> 01:08:49,929
He isn't here.
1079
01:08:51,431 --> 01:08:55,435
They must've fixed this book too.
They knew we were coming.
1080
01:08:56,002 --> 01:08:57,103
Where's your gun?
1081
01:08:57,270 --> 01:08:58,104
I have it.
1082
01:08:58,505 --> 01:09:00,507
In my coat.
1083
01:09:01,741 --> 01:09:03,743
Get that light.
1084
01:09:24,330 --> 01:09:26,166
Great job, Douglas. Oh, God, it's Ben.
1085
01:09:27,767 --> 01:09:28,635
Hurry up with the ice.
1086
01:09:29,169 --> 01:09:31,638
Excuse me! I don't know my way
... around Kramer World.
1087
01:09:32,038 --> 01:09:35,141
Lucky for you we came along
when we did. You were in a bad way.
1088
01:09:35,542 --> 01:09:39,145
I can't say I recall that ever
happening before...
1089
01:09:39,312 --> 01:09:43,149
...a book just falling off
a shelf like that.
1090
01:09:43,483 --> 01:09:47,153
Is there any way someone
could have broken in here?
1091
01:09:47,354 --> 01:09:49,155
No, sir. Not on my shift.
1092
01:09:49,556 --> 01:09:53,159
I just remembered. A young lady
gave me an envelope for you.
1093
01:09:53,693 --> 01:09:54,661
Told me to be sure you got it.
1094
01:09:54,994 --> 01:09:58,998
She said she was a friend
from Washington.
1095
01:09:59,332 --> 01:10:00,667
What is this?
1096
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:04,170
"Dear Mr. President:
My name is Kathleen Taylor.
1097
01:10:04,337 --> 01:10:08,174
"I'm Charles Reynolds' secretary.
1098
01:10:08,508 --> 01:10:11,678
"Mr. Reynolds has disappeared.
I don't know who to turn to.
1099
01:10:11,811 --> 01:10:15,682
"The last people he spoke with
were you, President Douglas...
1100
01:10:15,815 --> 01:10:18,184
...and Carl Witnaur."
1101
01:10:18,318 --> 01:10:20,687
Haney's chief of staff.
That son of a bitch.
1102
01:10:21,021 --> 01:10:23,189
He lives outside of D.C.
in Chevy Chase.
1103
01:10:23,590 --> 01:10:25,692
I was there recently for a dinner.
1104
01:10:25,892 --> 01:10:28,695
My God, did he put on a spread!
Those little chicken livers wrapped...
1105
01:10:29,029 --> 01:10:33,199
...with bacon on tooth picks--
And the dip for the broccoli.....
1106
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:34,701
Could you focus, please!
1107
01:10:35,235 --> 01:10:37,203
I'm sorry. Look, if we left.....
1108
01:10:37,737 --> 01:10:40,707
If we left now, we could
get there by early morning.
1109
01:10:40,874 --> 01:10:42,709
We need to borrow your car, okay?
1110
01:10:43,109 --> 01:10:44,210
Do I have a choice?
1111
01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:46,413
Then it's okay.
1112
01:11:13,973 --> 01:11:14,974
Honey, you're hurting me.
1113
01:11:15,308 --> 01:11:16,476
Better her than me, Carl.
1114
01:11:16,976 --> 01:11:20,980
This is Douglas. I'm with Kramer
and a gun's pressed to your head.
1115
01:11:21,147 --> 01:11:24,150
Well, I'm assuming that's your head.
1116
01:11:27,620 --> 01:11:29,489
This is unbelievable.
1117
01:11:29,622 --> 01:11:30,490
How dare you?
1118
01:11:30,924 --> 01:11:32,992
Witnaur, we'll ask this just once.
1119
01:11:33,293 --> 01:11:35,495
What is Olympia and who is behind it?
1120
01:11:35,929 --> 01:11:37,931
I don't know what you talking about.
1121
01:11:55,015 --> 01:11:56,016
I'm glad to see you.
1122
01:11:56,316 --> 01:12:02,022
it's good to see you too, Joe.
We could use a little help out here.
1123
01:12:02,322 --> 01:12:03,523
Wait a minute.
1124
01:12:03,957 --> 01:12:08,962
Is that President Kramer holding
a gun on a naked guy in a blindfold?
1125
01:12:10,864 --> 01:12:13,867
Come on in.
1126
01:12:16,703 --> 01:12:19,539
Carl, my ClA buddies were clueless
about what you're up to...
1127
01:12:19,873 --> 01:12:22,042
...but they gave me something for this.
1128
01:12:22,542 --> 01:12:23,543
So, my boy...
1129
01:12:23,777 --> 01:12:26,546
...hope this goes well,
it's all new to me.
1130
01:12:26,846 --> 01:12:30,550
I'm not even sure
about the dosage but...
1131
01:12:30,784 --> 01:12:32,552
...what do you say we wing it?
1132
01:12:32,852 --> 01:12:34,554
You don't scare me.
1133
01:12:34,854 --> 01:12:35,555
I'm not trying to.
1134
01:12:35,989 --> 01:12:37,057
We don't want to see this.
1135
01:12:37,290 --> 01:12:39,292
Right. Enjoy the ride.
1136
01:12:52,906 --> 01:12:54,074
Damn vein.
1137
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:56,076
it's wanting to jump around.
1138
01:12:56,209 --> 01:12:58,078
There it is, you bugger.
1139
01:12:58,378 --> 01:13:00,080
There it is.
1140
01:13:00,213 --> 01:13:01,581
I'll talk.
1141
01:13:02,082 --> 01:13:05,085
I'll talk... I like to talk.
1142
01:13:06,386 --> 01:13:08,388
it's amazing.
1143
01:13:08,722 --> 01:13:12,592
Haney needed to spin-dry the kickback
money. That's how Olympia came in.
1144
01:13:13,093 --> 01:13:14,594
It was a front company.
1145
01:13:15,095 --> 01:13:17,097
I never ordered anyone to kill you.
1146
01:13:17,530 --> 01:13:20,533
But you ordered the cover-up.
1147
01:13:20,734 --> 01:13:24,104
The appointment log
at the NationaI Archives...
1148
01:13:24,337 --> 01:13:27,107
...the book in your library.....
1149
01:13:27,540 --> 01:13:29,109
All that was done at my request.
1150
01:13:29,342 --> 01:13:30,610
What about Charlie Reynolds?
1151
01:13:31,044 --> 01:13:32,112
Were you in charge to take care of him?
1152
01:13:32,245 --> 01:13:35,248
No, I never ordered anyone to kill him.
1153
01:13:38,051 --> 01:13:40,053
Who said he was dead?
1154
01:13:40,420 --> 01:13:42,122
Look, Tanner.
1155
01:13:42,355 --> 01:13:45,125
I'm telling you, it was Tanner.
This guy is out of control.
1156
01:13:45,291 --> 01:13:46,626
That's a lot of bull!
1157
01:13:47,060 --> 01:13:50,130
You're saying a rogue agent
turned hitman in your ranks?
1158
01:13:50,630 --> 01:13:52,132
I don't believe it.
1159
01:13:52,632 --> 01:13:55,135
You had Tanner put us on that chopper
and you pushed the button!
1160
01:13:55,635 --> 01:13:57,637
Chopper?
1161
01:13:58,071 --> 01:14:00,006
What chopper?
1162
01:14:03,710 --> 01:14:07,547
Looks like Tanner's been getting
his orders from Haney.
1163
01:14:07,981 --> 01:14:10,050
-What do we do?
-You got a few options.
1164
01:14:10,216 --> 01:14:13,553
You can go to the White House
and tell Haney what you know.
1165
01:14:13,620 --> 01:14:17,057
To get to him you must go
through Tanner, who'll kill you.
1166
01:14:17,424 --> 01:14:21,061
-What's the other one?
-You got a confession on tape.
1167
01:14:21,127 --> 01:14:22,562
Go to the press.
1168
01:14:22,929 --> 01:14:27,934
I'll call Kaye and by noon Washington
will be up to its knees in Olympia.
1169
01:14:29,736 --> 01:14:31,738
Call her?
1170
01:14:33,940 --> 01:14:36,943
You're doing the smart thing.
1171
01:14:37,811 --> 01:14:39,079
Damn!
1172
01:14:39,446 --> 01:14:40,080
Damn!
1173
01:14:40,447 --> 01:14:41,081
What?
1174
01:14:41,247 --> 01:14:45,085
If we go public,
there'll be another cover-up.
1175
01:14:45,318 --> 01:14:48,588
Witnaur might pay a price but
the big fish's going to get away.
1176
01:14:49,022 --> 01:14:51,091
Are we willing to let that happen?
1177
01:14:51,157 --> 01:14:53,159
We've done enough already.
1178
01:14:54,160 --> 01:14:56,096
No, I made a career of doing enough.
1179
01:14:56,663 --> 01:14:59,099
I always did just enough
not to piss anybody off...
1180
01:14:59,532 --> 01:15:01,101
...'cause a pissed-off person
won't vote for you.
1181
01:15:01,534 --> 01:15:03,103
it's a part of the game.
1182
01:15:03,470 --> 01:15:06,606
Tell that to Wayne and Jenny
and their kids living in their car.
1183
01:15:06,973 --> 01:15:08,608
"I'm sorry things are tough.
1184
01:15:08,842 --> 01:15:11,611
"I've been playing the game."
I can't play it anymore.
1185
01:15:11,711 --> 01:15:14,114
-I'm going to see Haney.
-Hold on, Rambo.
1186
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,616
Joe said you can't get past Tanner.
1187
01:15:16,683 --> 01:15:17,617
I don't care. I'm going.
1188
01:15:17,851 --> 01:15:19,853
You're a damn fool.
1189
01:15:24,290 --> 01:15:26,292
You're probably right.
1190
01:15:26,793 --> 01:15:31,131
But you know something, somewhere
out there there's another fool.
1191
01:15:31,564 --> 01:15:36,569
Some idealist sucker
who still believes in us.
1192
01:15:37,370 --> 01:15:42,142
After all the scandals and
the party politics and all the bull...
1193
01:15:42,308 --> 01:15:46,646
...someone out there believes we care
and will do what we promise.
1194
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:50,150
And that's what I'm doing now.
I'm doing what I promised.
1195
01:15:50,583 --> 01:15:52,652
Preserve, protect and defend.
1196
01:15:52,886 --> 01:15:54,154
Because if we lose that...
1197
01:15:54,721 --> 01:15:59,159
...idealistic, gloriously
deluded fool out there, hey...
1198
01:15:59,325 --> 01:16:01,327
...it's all over.
1199
01:16:02,896 --> 01:16:05,665
Thank God you never spoke
like this during our debates.
1200
01:16:06,099 --> 01:16:09,102
My margin of loss
would've been staggering.
1201
01:16:11,838 --> 01:16:12,839
All right.
1202
01:16:13,540 --> 01:16:14,674
Let's do it.
1203
01:16:15,041 --> 01:16:15,675
You sure?
1204
01:16:15,909 --> 01:16:20,680
If I can ride 300 miles at top speed
holding onto a lesbian's midsection...
1205
01:16:20,747 --> 01:16:21,681
...I can handle Tanner.
1206
01:16:22,048 --> 01:16:24,184
If we do get to Haney.
1207
01:16:24,551 --> 01:16:26,186
...how do we know he'll cooperate?
1208
01:16:26,419 --> 01:16:30,190
I'm bringing Witnaur with us.
Learn from the master.
1209
01:16:30,557 --> 01:16:31,558
Gentlemen...
1210
01:16:31,925 --> 01:16:33,693
...Kaye's on her way over.
1211
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:38,732
Change of plans. Mr. Kramer and
Mr. Douglas are going to Washington.
1212
01:16:47,741 --> 01:16:51,745
Kramer and Douglas broke into
Witnaur's house and kidnapped him.
1213
01:16:51,945 --> 01:16:53,313
We're just now hearing about it?
1214
01:16:53,747 --> 01:16:55,815
His lady called the White House.
1215
01:16:55,949 --> 01:16:57,317
-They thought it was a prank.
-Enough.
1216
01:16:57,817 --> 01:17:01,321
We better button up the White House.
If they get to the president...
1217
01:17:01,454 --> 01:17:03,456
...the game's over.
1218
01:17:14,768 --> 01:17:15,335
'Morning, Rita.
1219
01:17:15,835 --> 01:17:16,336
How're you?
1220
01:17:16,836 --> 01:17:19,839
I'd be doing better if I had
your blueberry muffins.
1221
01:17:20,006 --> 01:17:23,843
Soon as I tend to the president,
I'll see what I can do.
1222
01:17:24,010 --> 01:17:24,844
What's back there?
1223
01:17:25,278 --> 01:17:28,848
Picked up a lot of fresh produce
at the farmer's market.
1224
01:17:29,282 --> 01:17:31,284
Have a pick if you like.
1225
01:17:32,285 --> 01:17:34,854
That's okay, Rita.
You have a good one.
1226
01:17:35,021 --> 01:17:35,488
Thanks.
1227
01:17:43,096 --> 01:17:44,864
"Have a pick if you like"?
1228
01:17:45,165 --> 01:17:47,867
-You're lucky I didn't have a stroke.
-Wasn't that little risky?
1229
01:17:49,803 --> 01:17:49,869
Mr. Presidents, please hush up.
1230
01:17:50,103 --> 01:17:53,106
If you're in my car, you're produce.
1231
01:17:56,109 --> 01:17:57,877
Mr. President...
1232
01:17:58,111 --> 01:18:00,113
...we're ready' sir.
1233
01:18:01,014 --> 01:18:04,884
The ceremony honoring the Dutch
resistance during World War II?
1234
01:18:05,185 --> 01:18:09,389
Highlight of my day. Who cares
about the damn Dutch anyway?
1235
01:18:09,522 --> 01:18:11,891
Vice President Mathews is going?
1236
01:18:12,025 --> 01:18:14,394
Let's avoid a possible
embarrassment, okay?
1237
01:18:14,627 --> 01:18:19,399
Remind him these people are from
the Netherlands, not nether regions.
1238
01:18:19,699 --> 01:18:21,401
Oh, and...
1239
01:18:21,634 --> 01:18:22,902
...have we heard from Witnaur?
1240
01:18:23,336 --> 01:18:24,404
No, Mr. President.
1241
01:18:24,704 --> 01:18:26,706
Thank you.
1242
01:18:29,409 --> 01:18:31,411
Gather around everyone.
The tour's about to begin.
1243
01:18:31,644 --> 01:18:32,412
Come on in.
1244
01:18:32,846 --> 01:18:33,913
Come in, you in the back.
1245
01:18:34,414 --> 01:18:35,915
We can't go that way.
1246
01:18:36,349 --> 01:18:38,418
A million people come to
the White House every year.
1247
01:18:38,918 --> 01:18:42,422
Better smile, they'll know
we're here in ten seconds.
1248
01:18:42,922 --> 01:18:44,924
Come on.
1249
01:18:46,059 --> 01:18:47,927
Are you ready for the tour?
1250
01:18:48,061 --> 01:18:50,430
-What are you doing?!
-It's the only way we'll get to Haney.
1251
01:18:50,864 --> 01:18:51,931
Mr. President...
1252
01:18:52,065 --> 01:18:53,433
...and Mr. President.
1253
01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:56,436
The tour guides are the hardest
working people in the White House.
1254
01:18:56,770 --> 01:18:58,438
As a way of saying "Thank you"...
1255
01:18:58,605 --> 01:19:01,441
...President Kramer and I
lead your tour ourselves.
1256
01:19:01,608 --> 01:19:02,442
We'll what?
1257
01:19:02,876 --> 01:19:04,444
You get the Oval Office.....
1258
01:19:08,882 --> 01:19:08,948
Who knows this place better than us?
1259
01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:11,117
Let's go. Gather around.
1260
01:19:11,618 --> 01:19:13,453
Follow your presidents.
1261
01:19:13,887 --> 01:19:17,891
Come along.
This is going to be fun for you.
1262
01:19:22,962 --> 01:19:24,464
...they're in.
1263
01:19:24,631 --> 01:19:25,965
-How?
-They used the tour.
1264
01:19:26,266 --> 01:19:27,467
This is the Green Room.
1265
01:19:27,701 --> 01:19:28,468
-It's a room
-it's green.
1266
01:19:28,902 --> 01:19:29,469
Hence the name.
1267
01:19:29,703 --> 01:19:30,470
-Any questions?
-Not me.
1268
01:19:30,904 --> 01:19:32,472
Okay, shall we?
1269
01:19:32,972 --> 01:19:33,973
That's it?
1270
01:19:34,107 --> 01:19:35,475
Go, go, go.
1271
01:19:35,608 --> 01:19:37,477
We grab them as soon as we can.
1272
01:19:37,711 --> 01:19:39,479
Lots of people have seen them.
1273
01:19:39,713 --> 01:19:42,482
They met here to take the chopper
to the ceremonies...
1274
01:19:42,816 --> 01:19:45,819
...where the president
was to meet them later.
1275
01:19:48,154 --> 01:19:51,991
The crash site is still secure
We just adjust the time of the crash.
1276
01:19:52,292 --> 01:19:52,992
It could work.
1277
01:19:53,226 --> 01:19:56,229
I'll stay near Hayne.
As soon as you get them, call me.
1278
01:19:57,997 --> 01:20:00,500
Occasionally we. use this
as a shortcut to the Oval Office.
1279
01:20:00,633 --> 01:20:05,638
Let's pick up the pace.
The older folks are dragging us down.
1280
01:20:10,610 --> 01:20:13,179
There's no way they can
get out of the building.
1281
01:20:13,413 --> 01:20:15,682
We've sealed off the West Wing.
1282
01:20:16,116 --> 01:20:18,118
Guest quarters.
1283
01:20:29,129 --> 01:20:30,196
Unlock the door.
1284
01:20:30,363 --> 01:20:30,697
Come on.
1285
01:20:31,197 --> 01:20:32,699
That desk belonged to Jefferson.
1286
01:20:32,932 --> 01:20:35,702
The Declaration of Independence
could have been written on it.
1287
01:20:35,835 --> 01:20:38,705
Tom isn't here to help me
pick it up, so move your ass!
1288
01:20:39,139 --> 01:20:41,207
Mr. Presidents, please!
1289
01:20:41,441 --> 01:20:44,711
When we think of the Netherlands,
no doubt we have images of...
1290
01:20:45,145 --> 01:20:48,715
...a tranquil land dotted
with picturesque windmills.
1291
01:20:49,149 --> 01:20:52,719
Good. Secure the room,
but do not move in until I get there.
1292
01:20:53,153 --> 01:20:56,156
And Wilkerson, call the press.
1293
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:02,729
I found Haney. He's on the South Lawn.
1294
01:21:03,163 --> 01:21:04,230
I don't like this.
1295
01:21:04,798 --> 01:21:08,234
They've pinned us here for 15 minutes.
What're they doing?
1296
01:21:08,401 --> 01:21:10,403
Preparing for our funeral.
1297
01:21:10,870 --> 01:21:13,239
The report just came in
from the White House.
1298
01:21:13,506 --> 01:21:17,243
The helicopter went down
over the Blue Ridge ountains.
1299
01:21:17,410 --> 01:21:20,747
President Kramer and President Douglas
were reportedly on board.
1300
01:21:21,014 --> 01:21:24,017
Search teams are speeding to the area.
1301
01:21:31,191 --> 01:21:34,194
Phone's dead.
1302
01:21:34,594 --> 01:21:35,762
What are you doing?
1303
01:21:36,029 --> 01:21:40,767
During my years here, a butler told me
about a secret door in this room
1304
01:21:40,934 --> 01:21:45,772
The "Kennedy Door" he called it.
I think it was just a story.
1305
01:21:46,039 --> 01:21:48,041
It's here
1306
01:21:48,608 --> 01:21:50,610
I almost forgot.
1307
01:21:55,548 --> 01:21:56,783
What are you looking at?
1308
01:21:57,250 --> 01:22:00,787
You been down to the farmer's
market lately? it's brutal.
1309
01:22:01,354 --> 01:22:04,791
I used this thing for a couple of
midnight rendezvous.
1310
01:22:05,125 --> 01:22:06,793
I'll never forget this one girl--
1311
01:22:07,227 --> 01:22:08,795
She was a stewardess.
1312
01:22:09,062 --> 01:22:09,796
I don't need to know.
1313
01:22:10,363 --> 01:22:11,798
She was also a contortionist.
1314
01:22:12,232 --> 01:22:12,799
Go on.
1315
01:22:13,066 --> 01:22:14,300
She-- Later.
1316
01:22:14,567 --> 01:22:17,570
Right now, we must
get to that ceremony.
1317
01:22:19,372 --> 01:22:22,809
If we can get ourselves seen
on TV everyone will know...
1318
01:22:22,942 --> 01:22:24,811
...we're not dead in the mountains...
1319
01:22:25,378 --> 01:22:28,381
...and tanner is out of business.
1320
01:22:29,482 --> 01:22:31,484
Break it.
1321
01:22:41,995 --> 01:22:43,997
Where the hell are they?
1322
01:22:45,598 --> 01:22:46,332
Hurry up.
1323
01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:52,906
Be glad I'm not Gerry Ford. We would
be lying at the bottom of the stairs.
1324
01:22:55,108 --> 01:22:58,845
It's been a while, but I think
the way out is down to the left.
1325
01:22:59,012 --> 01:23:01,348
God, this whole thing is crazy.
1326
01:23:01,481 --> 01:23:05,352
I can't figure how a twisted psycho
like Tanner end up in the NSA.
1327
01:23:05,919 --> 01:23:09,923
I know. Why isn't he
in the postal service where he belongs?
1328
01:23:11,124 --> 01:23:11,858
Great.
1329
01:23:12,025 --> 01:23:13,360
"down and to the left."
1330
01:23:13,693 --> 01:23:17,364
Oh, cork it.
It's not the end of the world.
1331
01:23:17,497 --> 01:23:18,865
Hello, sirs.
1332
01:23:19,299 --> 01:23:23,303
No need for concern
it's only me, the twisted psycho.
1333
01:23:23,703 --> 01:23:25,372
We won't have a long chat.
1334
01:23:25,705 --> 01:23:29,376
I don't think I can stand to listen
to you for another second.
1335
01:23:29,542 --> 01:23:30,377
I'll just kill you.
1336
01:23:31,811 --> 01:23:33,380
Who goes first?
1337
01:23:33,947 --> 01:23:36,950
The old man, or the ladies' man?
1338
01:23:42,055 --> 01:23:43,390
Nice work, Russell.
1339
01:23:43,823 --> 01:23:45,825
Thank you.
1340
01:23:46,659 --> 01:23:49,729
I must change my shorts now.
1341
01:23:56,236 --> 01:23:59,239
Pennsylvania Avenue's almost clear.
1342
01:24:02,242 --> 01:24:03,576
Here we are.
1343
01:24:03,743 --> 01:24:06,579
Watch it, watch it.
1344
01:24:06,813 --> 01:24:10,083
It's the North Lawn. We're on
the other side of where we want to be.
1345
01:24:10,250 --> 01:24:11,084
Good going.
1346
01:24:11,518 --> 01:24:14,521
I didn't build the damn tunnel
1347
01:24:16,756 --> 01:24:18,591
-Now what?
-Who am I, fucking MacGyver?
1348
01:24:19,025 --> 01:24:20,593
I make this up as I go along.
1349
01:24:21,161 --> 01:24:23,163
Over there!
1350
01:24:27,667 --> 01:24:30,670
Hang on!
1351
01:24:32,939 --> 01:24:33,606
Hold it! Stop right there!
1352
01:24:34,174 --> 01:24:37,110
Get off the horse!
1353
01:24:37,544 --> 01:24:39,612
We can't get cars through the block.
1354
01:24:39,846 --> 01:24:42,849
Run after them, I'll cut them off.
1355
01:24:49,289 --> 01:24:54,294
When this is over, let's come back
and look for my balls.
1356
01:24:56,796 --> 01:24:58,798
Mr. Presidents, stop!
1357
01:25:00,967 --> 01:25:04,637
Marksmen, intruders, North Lawn.
This is Tanner going to intercept.
1358
01:25:05,071 --> 01:25:06,139
Shoot to kill!
1359
01:25:06,373 --> 01:25:09,376
We're moving into position now.
1360
01:25:19,986 --> 01:25:21,654
Wait, hold your fire.
1361
01:25:22,222 --> 01:25:23,656
That's Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1362
01:25:23,823 --> 01:25:24,657
That's impossible!
1363
01:25:24,891 --> 01:25:26,159
The presidents are dead!
1364
01:25:26,593 --> 01:25:28,595
Shoot them!
1365
01:25:30,330 --> 01:25:33,166
Repositioning to the south.
1366
01:25:33,333 --> 01:25:38,338
These people, bound by love of country,
risked their lives
1367
01:25:38,838 --> 01:25:40,840
Open the gate!
1368
01:25:44,244 --> 01:25:45,178
Nice horsey.
1369
01:25:45,645 --> 01:25:47,681
Oh, God!
1370
01:25:48,281 --> 01:25:50,283
On your command, sir.
1371
01:25:56,089 --> 01:25:57,357
I gave you a direct order! Shoot!
1372
01:25:58,191 --> 01:25:59,526
Lieutenant Fleming...
1373
01:25:59,693 --> 01:26:02,696
...request...permission to shoot.
1374
01:26:05,699 --> 01:26:07,033
Duck!
1375
01:26:07,467 --> 01:26:09,469
It was a struggle for democracy.
1376
01:26:10,870 --> 01:26:12,038
For truth
1377
01:26:12,205 --> 01:26:15,208
We must fire, sir!
1378
01:26:18,378 --> 01:26:21,381
It was a struggle
between life and death.
1379
01:26:30,690 --> 01:26:32,692
Those are the presidents.
1380
01:26:39,833 --> 01:26:42,569
In conclusion, I'd like to say that...
1381
01:26:42,635 --> 01:26:45,071
...it is our pleasure to welcome...
1382
01:26:45,238 --> 01:26:48,241
...these Dutch resistance fighters
here--
1383
01:26:51,745 --> 01:26:54,581
Would somebody go collect Blinky?
1384
01:26:55,415 --> 01:26:57,083
Let him come ahead.
1385
01:26:57,250 --> 01:26:59,085
What a surprise!
1386
01:26:59,219 --> 01:27:03,223
Ladies gentlemen
President Matthew Douglas.
1387
01:27:05,358 --> 01:27:07,093
Thank you. Thank you.
1388
01:27:07,227 --> 01:27:08,595
We have to talk...
1389
01:27:08,728 --> 01:27:10,663
...now.
1390
01:27:13,767 --> 01:27:16,503
Haney had to spin-dry
the kickback money.
1391
01:27:17,003 --> 01:27:18,004
That's how Olympia came in.
1392
01:27:18,505 --> 01:27:19,506
Russell, please.
1393
01:27:19,673 --> 01:27:20,507
There must be a way around this.
1394
01:27:21,007 --> 01:27:22,509
I'll give you anything you want.
1395
01:27:22,676 --> 01:27:23,510
I have money.
1396
01:27:23,677 --> 01:27:28,014
Pardon? Are you honestly saying that
Russell P. Kramer can be bought?
1397
01:27:28,581 --> 01:27:29,015
Shut up.
1398
01:27:29,582 --> 01:27:32,519
Why resign? I know nothing about
Reynold's death or the crash.
1399
01:27:33,086 --> 01:27:35,522
Okay, all right.
I admit I used the office.
1400
01:27:35,689 --> 01:27:38,024
But how is that different
from what you're doing?
1401
01:27:38,291 --> 01:27:39,526
You made money from this office.
1402
01:27:40,026 --> 01:27:41,027
Two things.
1403
01:27:41,428 --> 01:27:44,030
One... I never did anything illegal.
1404
01:27:44,431 --> 01:27:46,032
Big difference. Two...
1405
01:27:46,299 --> 01:27:47,534
I never did it for money.
1406
01:27:47,934 --> 01:27:50,537
-Come on! Sure you did!
-No, no, you just don't get it.
1407
01:27:51,037 --> 01:27:55,542
My books, personal appearances, I do
them so people still know I'm here.
1408
01:27:55,942 --> 01:27:57,944
So they don't forget me.
1409
01:28:00,213 --> 01:28:04,050
And so I can get
just a little taste of...
1410
01:28:04,551 --> 01:28:07,554
...what it's like to be...
1411
01:28:09,723 --> 01:28:12,726
...what I was.
1412
01:28:15,962 --> 01:28:17,564
This office has done a lot for me!
1413
01:28:17,897 --> 01:28:20,900
Now I'll do something for it...
get you out!
1414
01:28:23,136 --> 01:28:26,573
Excuse me, sirs. I'm Agent Kopeck,
in charge of the White House detail.
1415
01:28:27,073 --> 01:28:29,075
This is Officer Ralph Fleming.
1416
01:28:29,476 --> 01:28:30,577
He stopped Colonel Tanner.
1417
01:28:31,077 --> 01:28:32,579
Thank you Ralph.
1418
01:28:32,746 --> 01:28:33,580
You saved our lives.
1419
01:28:33,747 --> 01:28:35,081
it's an honor to meet you, son.
1420
01:28:35,482 --> 01:28:37,083
Actually, we've met before...
1421
01:28:37,250 --> 01:28:39,085
We have? Where?
1422
01:28:39,252 --> 01:28:42,255
Somewhere... "over the rainbow."
1423
01:28:58,104 --> 01:28:59,639
And so...
1424
01:28:59,806 --> 01:29:01,641
...it is with a heavy heart...
1425
01:29:02,108 --> 01:29:05,111
...and ironically, a weak heart...
1426
01:29:06,179 --> 01:29:07,647
...that I resign...
1427
01:29:08,014 --> 01:29:10,650
...from the office of
President of the United States.
1428
01:29:11,184 --> 01:29:12,652
Poor President Haney.
1429
01:29:12,886 --> 01:29:15,655
Don't you worry, Rita.
He'll be just fine.
1430
01:29:16,189 --> 01:29:18,658
You haven't lost your touch.
1431
01:29:19,125 --> 01:29:21,161
I miss you too.
1432
01:29:21,327 --> 01:29:26,166
I was finally getting used to him.
Now I must start all over again.
1433
01:29:26,633 --> 01:29:29,636
President Matthews.
1434
01:29:30,904 --> 01:29:34,174
Who would have ever thought of that.?
1435
01:29:34,407 --> 01:29:36,176
President Matthews.
1436
01:29:36,343 --> 01:29:41,181
There's only one way that moron
was ever going to become...
1437
01:29:41,348 --> 01:29:41,681
...president.
1438
01:29:42,215 --> 01:29:44,184
Either Haney would be assassinated...
1439
01:29:44,551 --> 01:29:46,553
...or he'd have to...
1440
01:29:48,421 --> 01:29:49,689
...resign.
1441
01:29:50,056 --> 01:29:53,693
I'm convinced that
it's for the nation's good...
1442
01:29:53,860 --> 01:29:56,696
...that I step aside.
1443
01:29:57,230 --> 01:29:58,698
Two more minutes.
1444
01:29:58,865 --> 01:30:00,200
Thank you. I'll be ready.
1445
01:30:00,667 --> 01:30:03,203
We need to talk, and right now.
1446
01:30:03,370 --> 01:30:05,705
Will you excuse us a minute?
1447
01:30:06,072 --> 01:30:06,706
What's up?
1448
01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:09,709
-We figured it out.
-You'll never get away with it.
1449
01:30:09,943 --> 01:30:13,213
I already did. Chief Justice Rehnquist
just swore me in.
1450
01:30:13,380 --> 01:30:17,217
I'm about to go on television
and reluctantly accept my charge.
1451
01:30:17,584 --> 01:30:18,718
You sent Tanner to kill us.
1452
01:30:19,185 --> 01:30:21,721
We investigate Olympia, wind up dead,
it gets tied to Haney.
1453
01:30:22,255 --> 01:30:24,224
Either way, he goes down.
1454
01:30:24,457 --> 01:30:25,725
You're right.
1455
01:30:26,092 --> 01:30:28,228
Only a few unfortunate deaths...
1456
01:30:28,595 --> 01:30:30,730
...but they can be blamed on Tanner.
1457
01:30:31,097 --> 01:30:33,233
He won't be a Joint Chief after all.
1458
01:30:33,700 --> 01:30:36,736
How do you explain us being here?
Are we both dead?
1459
01:30:37,203 --> 01:30:39,239
Your chopper definitely went down.
1460
01:30:39,406 --> 01:30:41,741
Thankfully it turned out
you weren't on board.
1461
01:30:42,275 --> 01:30:46,746
Press secretary's already apologized
for any confusion.
1462
01:30:47,147 --> 01:30:47,747
Thirty seconds.
1463
01:30:47,981 --> 01:30:48,748
Thank you.
1464
01:30:49,282 --> 01:30:50,250
Well, gentlemen...
1465
01:30:50,717 --> 01:30:54,721
...if you ask me, this whole thing's
been a real coup.
1466
01:30:55,221 --> 01:30:56,756
Funny thing, isn't it?
1467
01:30:56,923 --> 01:30:59,259
Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
1468
01:30:59,426 --> 01:31:03,430
But nobody knows it was
all just a big facade.
1469
01:31:05,632 --> 01:31:07,634
Who's the idiot now?
1470
01:31:16,776 --> 01:31:18,778
-Good to see you.
-Welcome home, sir.
1471
01:31:23,516 --> 01:31:23,616
I guess that's all she wrote.
1472
01:31:27,120 --> 01:31:30,123
Want to know what
gives me the red ass?
1473
01:31:30,590 --> 01:31:32,425
He damn near got away with it.
1474
01:31:32,692 --> 01:31:34,928
What do you mean "damn near"?
1475
01:31:35,195 --> 01:31:36,930
You got the whole conversation on tape?
1476
01:31:37,297 --> 01:31:39,432
I learned from the master.
1477
01:31:39,799 --> 01:31:44,437
The only problem is if I drop this off
at CNN Matthews gets thrown out...
1478
01:31:44,704 --> 01:31:46,439
...according to the 25th Amendment...
1479
01:31:46,673 --> 01:31:48,441
...the Speaker of th House
will become preseident.
1480
01:31:48,641 --> 01:31:50,443
God, anybody but him.
1481
01:31:50,610 --> 01:31:51,444
Tell me about it.
1482
01:31:51,811 --> 01:31:54,948
But I guess we have no choice.
We did everything we could.
1483
01:31:55,448 --> 01:31:59,953
I'll go home, kiss my wife, take
a shower and go to bed for a month.
1484
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:01,454
Sounds good.
1485
01:32:02,022 --> 01:32:04,457
You know something? I must tell you.....
1486
01:32:04,724 --> 01:32:08,461
After going through this whole thing...
1487
01:32:08,528 --> 01:32:10,463
...i've realized...
1488
01:32:10,964 --> 01:32:11,965
...i really don't like you.
1489
01:32:12,465 --> 01:32:13,466
No kidding.
1490
01:32:13,667 --> 01:32:16,469
That's not what I wanted to say.
1491
01:32:16,736 --> 01:32:18,738
The thing is...
1492
01:32:19,239 --> 01:32:21,474
...I don't like you.
1493
01:32:21,741 --> 01:32:23,743
But...
1494
01:32:24,177 --> 01:32:26,479
...I think I'm going to...
1495
01:32:26,746 --> 01:32:28,748
...miss you.
1496
01:32:30,650 --> 01:32:33,486
If we hadn't spent 30 years
hating each other's guts...
1497
01:32:33,586 --> 01:32:35,989
...we might have been...
1498
01:32:36,056 --> 01:32:38,058
...friends.
1499
01:32:41,761 --> 01:32:43,496
I think I'll stop there...
1500
01:32:43,663 --> 01:32:47,667
...because I feel the goat cheese
pizza backing up on me.
1501
01:32:53,940 --> 01:32:54,007
You take care of yourself.
1502
01:32:54,174 --> 01:32:55,008
And...
1503
01:32:55,508 --> 01:32:56,509
...don't jump off trains.
1504
01:32:56,710 --> 01:32:58,011
I was pushed.
1505
01:32:58,078 --> 01:33:00,080
Same difference.
1506
01:33:10,390 --> 01:33:14,027
"Hail to the Chief, if you don't
I'll have to kill you.
1507
01:33:14,194 --> 01:33:15,528
"I am the Chief.
1508
01:33:15,929 --> 01:33:19,032
"So you better watch your step,
you bastards."
1509
01:33:19,099 --> 01:33:21,101
We're even.
1510
01:33:33,813 --> 01:33:35,815
I was told what you went through.
1511
01:33:36,416 --> 01:33:38,418
It's amazing.
1512
01:33:39,753 --> 01:33:42,088
Yes, I guess it was.
1513
01:33:42,255 --> 01:33:46,259
Now you can go home to Cleveland
for a well-deserved rest.
1514
01:33:47,127 --> 01:33:50,130
When it comes time for a rest...
1515
01:33:50,764 --> 01:33:53,767
...there's no place like Cleveland.
1516
01:33:55,435 --> 01:33:57,604
This must've been
a difficult experience.
1517
01:33:57,937 --> 01:33:59,105
It was pretty bad.
1518
01:33:59,439 --> 01:34:01,608
But on some level...
1519
01:34:02,075 --> 01:34:03,610
...I enjoyed it.
1520
01:34:04,744 --> 01:34:06,946
It was just nice to do something and...
1521
01:34:07,280 --> 01:34:08,615
...have a goal again.
1522
01:34:09,149 --> 01:34:12,118
I think it was a great service
you did for your country.
1523
01:34:12,352 --> 01:34:15,355
Most people would've given up.
1524
01:34:15,855 --> 01:34:19,626
You and President Kramer
did everything you could.
1525
01:34:20,727 --> 01:34:23,096
I'm proud to be attached to you.
1526
01:34:30,670 --> 01:34:31,638
No, Chet...
1527
01:34:32,172 --> 01:34:34,140
...you're wrong.
1528
01:34:34,474 --> 01:34:37,477
We didn't do everything we could.
1529
01:34:37,977 --> 01:34:40,647
Nine months after he took
the oath of office...
1530
01:34:40,880 --> 01:34:43,650
...former president and
convicted felon Ted Matthews.
1531
01:34:43,817 --> 01:34:48,154
...today began serving his sentence at
a federal prison in Stafford, Virginia.
1532
01:34:48,488 --> 01:34:51,658
But, unlike other political
scandals of the past...
1533
01:34:51,825 --> 01:34:54,661
...this one as spawned
an unusual coupling.
1534
01:34:54,894 --> 01:34:59,899
For that story, we take you
to correspondent Kaye Griffin.
1535
01:35:01,701 --> 01:35:04,671
Two of America's biggest
political rivals are making history.
1536
01:35:05,005 --> 01:35:10,176
Running together as independents are
ex-Presidents Kramer and Douglas.
1537
01:35:10,643 --> 01:35:13,646
I come to this country
with those fellows.
1538
01:35:13,847 --> 01:35:14,180
However...
1539
01:35:14,714 --> 01:35:18,685
...we don't know who will be running
as president and who as vice president.
1540
01:35:19,219 --> 01:35:24,224
I'm not ashamed to say it,
I slept with both those guys.
1541
01:35:26,226 --> 01:35:27,694
My love.
1542
01:35:28,161 --> 01:35:30,196
-Any words of wisdom?
-Of course.
1543
01:35:30,530 --> 01:35:31,698
Don't be a frigging fool.
1544
01:35:32,232 --> 01:35:35,702
Please, if you're going to use
the F-word, go for the gold.
1545
01:35:36,036 --> 01:35:37,203
Excuse us.
1546
01:35:37,671 --> 01:35:40,206
-Ready to face the voting public?
-Let's do it.
1547
01:35:41,508 --> 01:35:42,709
I'll make the announcement.
1548
01:35:42,876 --> 01:35:45,712
You're saying I'm going
to be president...
1549
01:35:46,046 --> 01:35:48,715
...and you vice president, correct?
1550
01:35:48,848 --> 01:35:51,217
After all we did,
you still don't trust me?
1551
01:35:51,685 --> 01:35:52,719
I trust you.
1552
01:35:53,253 --> 01:35:53,720
Thank you.
1553
01:35:54,054 --> 01:35:55,722
Like you me. I'll announce it.
1554
01:35:56,056 --> 01:35:58,224
We agreed that I would do it.
1555
01:35:58,558 --> 01:36:00,226
-Let go, please.
-No I won't.
1556
01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:03,229
I'm not letting go either.
1557
01:36:03,396 --> 01:36:04,230
Move, old man.
1558
01:36:04,731 --> 01:36:07,734
No way, sleazebag.
1559
01:36:08,134 --> 01:36:09,736
Money!
1560
01:36:09,969 --> 01:36:11,738
Did you drop that?
1561
01:36:12,272 --> 01:36:13,740
Yeah, that's mine.
1562
01:36:14,074 --> 01:36:15,241
My fellow Americans...
1563
01:36:15,909 --> 01:36:17,477
You son of a--
114818
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