All language subtitles for The.Basketball.Diaries.1995.BluRay.720p.DTS.x264-CHD.en

Go fuck yourself,
you son of a bitch. Bastard!

The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want.

Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done, you fuck!

Give us this day our daily bread, as we
forgive those who trespass against us.

Jesus,
Jesus the Nazarene.

Jesus, the nazarene.
Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.

Hell! Hell! Hell! Hell!
Hell! Hell!

Jim, you're not going to waste
the whole day lying around, are you?

Ma, I'm up.
The loony alarm went off.

Well, close the blinds. Don't look
at her and don't listen to her.

How could I not?

Jesus the Nazarene.

Mary the whore.
Mary the hairdresser.

Mary the hairdresser.
Our Father, Who art...

Hey, lady!

Shut up!

When I was young, about 8 or so,

I tried making friends with God-

by inviting him to my house
to watch the World Series.

He never showed.

Too bad, Father.
I was just starting to enjoy myself.

We can do it again tomorrow
if you like, Mr. Carroll.

You okay, Jim?
Does it hurt?

You want to
rub it for him, Pedro?

Jim, give it a rest.
You'll never beat him.

The guy's a pervert.

Did you hear him?

"We can do it again tomorrow
if you like, Mr. Carroll. "

Let's cut out of here.
Come on.

# I was born in a pool #

# They made my mother stand #

# I spat on that surgeon #

# And his trembling hand #

# When I felt the light #

# I was worse than bored #

# I stole a doctor's scalpel #

# And I slit the cord #

# I was a Catholic boy #

# I was redeemed through pain #

# Not through joy #

# I was two months early #

# They put me under glass #

# I screamed and cursed their children #

# When the nurses passed #

# I was convicted of theft #

# As I slid from the womb #

# They led me straight from my mother #

# To a cell in the tombs #

# I was a Catholic boy #

# Redeemed through pain #

# Not through joy #

# They starved me for weeks #

# They thought
they'd teach me fear #

# I fed on cellmates' dreams #

# It gave me fine ideas #

# When they cut me loose #

# The time had served me well #

# I'd made allies in heaven #

# Comrades in hell #

# I was a Catholic child #

# The blood ran red #

# The blood ran wild ##

Why, you little prick!
This is my new...

Shit, guys, gotta get outta here.
I threw up on somebody.

I'll get ya!

You little prick!

I'll fucking throw you
in the fucking river if i catch ya-

Hey!

What about the four of us
versus Wilt Chamberlain?

He was the greatest of all time.

Four of us?

What are you gonna do, Pedro?

tie his shoes together
when he ain't looking?

All right... How'bout the three
versus Wilt Chamberlain?

No problem.

You're kidding,
right, Mickey?

No. He can't cover all of us
at the same time.

You guys don't miss open jumpers.

And you know who will be there
for the rebounds.

Rebounds?
That freak is, like, 7 feet tall.

Jim, I can rebound with anybody.

You're sniffing too much of that shit,
that's what you're doing.

Chamberlain would destroy all of us.
End of story.

Alright. All we got to do
is move the ball around.

There's no way we don't win.
Will you tell this kid?

Hey, Mickey, I think you could
beat him yourself.

I don't think you need us.

Perfect example... confidence.
I know I could beat him.

Holy shit! Look at this place.

I tell you what,
if our school was this nice,

I'd go more than once a week.

You?

We got a game today, gentlemen.

Who's ready to play
some roundball?

I said, who's ready
to play some ball?

You give me that laid-back,

"I'm doing my own thing, Jack"
attitude out there today,

and you're going to find yourself
watching the game from the bench.

No smoking, Iggy...
stunts your growth.

You want to be big and strong
like me, don't you?

Out.

No smoking,

and no pulling your peckers
before a game.

Swifty, do you mind?
I'm taking a dump. Get outta here!

Something die in there?

When we play our game...

... so Pedro vomits
on his head, right?

It goes all over his hair,
trickles down his neck.

Some gets in his eye.
He went nuts-

Don't lie about it, either.

What are you doing?

We're signing a ball for Bobby.

Can I sign?

Yeah.

"We're holding
your spot for you, kid.

Swifty. "

All right.

This one's for Bobby.

All right.

Who's better than we are?

Nobody!

Alright! Go ahead.
Do some warm-ups.

Pedro, you're in charge.

You're my eyes and ears.

- Hey, Jim?
- Yeah?

That's a nice thing
you're doing for Bobby.

Oh, thanks.
Thanks.

You seen Neutron?

I think he's talking to a scout from Saint
John's, as a matter of fact, upstairs.

You want to play
college ball, don't you?

Yeah. Someday, I hope.
You know.

Yeah.

Scouts are sniffing
you out already.

They like them young.

I'll tell you what.

You come by sometime, and
we'll go over the schools together.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. We'll get a pizza,
and we'll make a night of it.

Um... actually, my nights are
kind of busy right now.

Yeah.

Homework
and all, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

We were the hottest Catholic
high school team in New York City,

on our way to the championship.

We felt like nothing could stop us.

Yeah! Yeah!

Yes!
We're on our way.

We're on our way.

Let's go.
Let's go.

Hands up.
Show me some defense.

Show me
some defense.

Good steal.
Put it in. Put it in.

Yeah!

All right. All right.

Way to go.

Aw, geez.

All right, Neutron.
Yes! Yes!

To the hole, Jim.

What's going on?

Break it up!

Come on. Hit him!
Beat that motherfucker!

He fucking held me!

This dude blows the whistle...

Slow it down!
Slow it down!

You got to have presence
on the court...

presence like a cheetah
rather than a chimp.

They both got it,

but chimpy got to jump
his nuts around all day to get it.

Shy cheetah just moves
in total nonchalance

a sec or two in his sexy, slow strut.

Me, I play like a cheetah.

Let's go, Rangers-

let's go!

Let's go, Rangers, let's go!

Yeah! Ooh!

You got it!
It's ours. It's ours.

Yeah!

9, 8,

7,

6,

5,

4,

3,

2,

1!

Yay, Jim!
Oh, shit.

That's my team!
That's my team!

There's only two things
Swifty forbids...

using the word "motherfucker"

and stealing from the other team,

as long as they're white.

How much for that
group of winners over there?

It's $34.90.

$34.90?

Changed the prices
or something?

No.

I'm a little short.

Do me a favor.
Here. Take my watch,

and I'll come back later
with the rest of the money.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I'm sorry, sir.

Those burgers are worth
more than the watch is.

I'll be right back.

I told you one burger each,
didn't I?

It takes at least eight of these
to get filled up.

Yeah. C'mon, Swifty.
We're growing boys.

Growing boys?
We're hungry motherfuckers.

Funny, huh?

I'm not driving you guys home.

How's that for laughs?

You ripped them off,
didn't you?

We're even now.

Swifty, come on. How are
we going to get home?

Face the music, pricks.

What are we going to do?
They got the door blocked off.

You afraid of these pussies?

I ain't afraid of anybody.

What's the problem?

I'm going to ask you
this once. All right?

Where's the stuff you stole from me?

What are you
talking about?

No, no, no. You're not going
to fuck with me, all right?

Now, somebody stole my father's
ring from my locker, motherfucker.

You want me to cut you?
Is that what you want, there?

There's no problem here.

Hey, guys! Let's
get out of here, c'mon!

You need a fucking army, huh?

Come on! Come on!

Oh. Nice.
That from Bobo?

That's his father's ring.

Hey, fellas.
Any of you looking for a date?

Yeah. Me, sweetheart.

Little horsy ride
in Central Park,

maybe candlelight dinner?

Why don't we skip right
to dessert, huh, baby?

About $15?

Fifteen bucks? I'll give you a quarter.
Let Pedro suck your tits.

You don't have to be rude.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How about you, handsome, huh?

You got $15... for a little head?

Diane, do I look like
I need to pay for it?

Yeah...

you do.

If it's worth it.

Jimmy...

Jimmy, I know you want some, honey.

$15. I'll do you so good
you'll never forget it, baby.

Hey, hey!

Ooh!

That's a deal.

Bargain from there.

What do you say, guys?
You want to do it? All four of us?

- Yeah.
- It's a deal.

All four of us.

Aw, shit. This is all I got, Diane.

Here, have a pretzel.

- Get out of here.
- Beat it.

Yeah, fuck you!

Fucking dopehead.
You see what that shit does to you?

Wow. Speaking
of dopeheads,

is that Pedro's mother over there
slinging her wares again?

It is!

Hey, Peepee,
where you going?

Why do you have to be
such an asshole all the time, huh?

Why is the little shoe
crying anyway?

His mother's a sneaker.
His father's a loafer.

Somebody's got to be a heel.

Jim, where you going?

Hey, Jim!

Jim.

Hey. Hey, man.

What's up?

You don't recognize me
with my new hairdo?

It's nice. It's nice.
I like it.

What's going on?

- How are you?
- Good.

Wow. Look at that.

You like it?

Yeah, I'll tell you what.
When you get out of here,

we'll all shave our heads and
look like a gang of skinheads.

It's a deal.

All right.

I got something
for you here.

Yeah.

Everyone on the team.

Look right here...
even Swifty signed it.

Thanks, man.

You remember when I dunked on
that spade in Riverside Park?

You always had good ups.

Yeah.

Oh. I got something to
show you. Hold on.

What?

Pedro got these
out of some lady's purse.

- She's doing it with a donkey.
- Oh, Jesus!

Look at that schlong.
Look at that one.

Oh, I beat your record.

How many times
you choke it?

Seven times.

Bullshit.

Seven times.

My mom thinks I have
a cold year-round

because of all the tissues
around the house.

You can keep those
if you want.

They're pumping
so much junk in me,

I can't even get
a decent chubby.

I got an idea.

Come on. Let's go.

Where we going?

I'm getting you out of
this place, man. C'mon!

What are you, crazy, man?
I can't go anywhere.

Here you go.

I've known Bobby since I was 3.
He's my best friend.

He was the best player
on our basketball team.

Two years ago,
he got leukemia.

He keeps fighting it off.

I know Bobby's
going to beat it.

He could beat anything.

Watch!

Jim, you're going
to kill me, man.

If you let go,
I swear...

I swear
I'll kill you, man.

Watch the bump!

What the hell happened
to forty deuce?

Last time I was here, that theater
was playing Sperminator II.

Oh, yeah.
I remember that.

No, man. This whole block has been
done over by all these new artists.

It's pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.

They should put
your stuff up there.

Yeah. Right.

Still scribbling stuff in that
notebook of yours, ain't you?

Of course.

You bring anything for me?

What, like to read?

No, like to eat.

What do you think?

Yeah. I mean, I got this,
but it's not a big deal.

I don't even remember writing it,
to tell you the truth.

Yeah, Yeah. I'll be
the judge of this.

"Little kids shoot marbles

"where branches break the sun

"into graceful shafts of light.

I just want to be pure.

All right.

# What a life #

Nothing like the real thing to
float your boat, huh, Bobby?

# What a life #

# Didn't know where,
didn't know when... #

That's nice.

# Said that I'll go...
go learn #

# Put up my hand,
wait my turn #

# But it never comes,
I have to shout out #

# That's life #

# And that's
what it's all about #

# So through the comfort
and the strife #

# What a life... #

Get me out of here, Jim.

What are you talking
about, man?

This was a stupid idea.

I don't feel so good.

Well, can we wait
till the end of the show?

Did you hear what I said?
I said get me the hell out of here!

Hey, Bob, man...

I'm really sorry, you know?
Next time, we'll go somewhere...

Ain't gonna be
no next time, Jim.

I love it this way...

my feet against the tar,
which is soft from the spring heat,

the slight breeze that runs
across your entire body,

especially your crotch.

You feel an incredible power
being naked under a dome of stars

while a giant city is dressed, dodging
cars all around you five flights down.

I don't think of anything
while I'm doing the actual tugging,

least of all the heavy sex fantasies
I have to resort to indoors.

Just my own naked self
and the stars breathing down,

and it's beautiful.

Time sure flies when you're young
and jerking off.

"Camp summer position.

Driver... taxi. "

Hey, that might be good.
You could get your license this summer.

Oh, yeah, Mom.
That sounds really great.

Hey, get your own job,

and if you don't
get it this summer,

you're coming to work
with me at the hotel.

Mom, please. Why are you
so worried about this?

Do I even ask you for money?

No. I'm not worried
about the money.

I want you to have
responsibility.

I don't want you running
around the streets of New York.

Idle time is
the devil's plaything, Jim.

The devil's plaything, huh?

That might be a cool title
for my first book. Thanks!

What are you talking about?
What are you writing?

Here.

Ooh. Um...

Ma, I'm not really that
hungry this morning, alright?

- Come on. You got to eat something.
- I know...

Where you going?

I'm going to shoot
some hoops.

Sometimes I feel like
something's chasing me,

like there's some whacko
on a roof somewhere

who could snuff me out
at any moment.

And I feel this horrible fear.
Will I have time to finish-

the poems breaking loose
in my head?

Hey, white boy,

you ready
for your beating?

Don't let your mouth get you into
something your ass can't handle.

I'll shoot you for it.

So it's going to be
like that, huh?

I...

don't think so.

Yeah!

All right,
so you made one.

Big deal.
You made one shot.

Make another.

# The days are muzzled
in a vibe #

# I swing back
from time to time #

# There's a Camaro,
rusty red #

# That all
my best friends drive in #

# Can you smell
the summer air? #

# Take me where
they left the light on #

# Getting close,
almost there #

# If that fuzzy silver badge #

# Don't greet us there #

# My head's dizzy,
and I'm taking... ##

Yo, Jim! What's the score?
Come on. We got to go.

They don't keep score
in this game.

Jim, come on.
We're losing the sun.

He's being a dick. You want me
to put a charge in his ass?

Whatch this.

Oh, look it, right here...

Jim's secret diary
he's always writing in.

Bet you he wrote
some shit about me.

Oh, right here.

"Spring... Mickey. "

Hey, there I am, Jim says.

"Mickey takes out a bottle
of carbonic cleaning fluid

and suggests we do
a little sniffing to get high. "

Whoo!

"After four deep whiffs,
we're sailing someplace else. "

Mickey,
what are you doing?

"Bells ringing
through my ears,

little lights
flashing through my eyes. "

Mickey, put that down,
all right?

"I pictured myself

"paddling across a river
with black water,

"only the canoe was going
backwards instead of forwards,

"with clouds that had faces.
Laughing, spooky, fun-house laughs... "

- Give it back, alright?
- What is that shit?

Why do you have to be
such a schmuck, Mickey?

What are you
talking about?

Don't you ever touch that again.
It's private.

What's your problem?

I'm... I'm sorry.

He's writing about me,
I can't read about it? Jesus!

Hey, Jim, come on.
We're gone.

Yo, we got a cab!

Hey, cabby! Hey, swami!

So, Shakespeare,

you going to finish the game?

C'mon, Reggie, you know
this game never ends.

See you later,
all right?

Every crowd has its little games
to prove if you're a punk or not.

My cousin in Jersey
plays chickie,

which is two cars
heading towards each other

at about 80 miles per hour.

First driver to swerve
out of the way is, of course, chicken.

In Brooklyn,

they make you press
a lit cigarette into your arm

and have it burn all the way
down to the filter

without the slightest flinch.

Us, Manhattan boys,

we jump off cliffs
into the Harlem River,

which is literally shitty, because half a
million toilets flush into it every day.

Whoo-oo!

Yeah!

Oooh!

Yeah!

Hey, y'all, I carried the clothes up,

but I ain't carrying them down.

Peepee, this is you...

all 33 pounds of you,
gone with the wind.

Wow. That's
a long way down.

Devil's toe is no big deal.
We've all done it a million times.

I never done it.

You never did it?

Pedro, you never
do nothing.

You know who was awesome
on this rock?

Bobby. That kids would do
back flips off this rock.

Hey, Mickey.

What?

Don't talk about him
like he's dead.

He's not dead.

There goes the circle line.
Check it out.

Whoo!

Full moon!

Whoo!

Hey, yo!

Whoo!

Hey, circle this!

Hey, I'm going.
Watch out, watch out...

I'm going to show you
how to do it.

Ye-ea-ah!

That was a good jump.

Oh, he's nuts.

Hey, I'm going
to walk down.

What you talking about?
You can't walk down.

There's no way
to walk down.

I ain't jumping.

Pedro, your clothes are down there.
How you gonna get your clothes?

You going to walk around
naked all day?

Pedro, if you don't jump,
Mickey's going to tease you so bad-

You might as well just jump
and get it over with. Feel better.

What the hell, right?

shit...

Pedro!

Bad form.
Bad form.

Oh... My God!

Oh, shit. Is he all right?

Pedro,
you all right?

You ready?

Yeah.

Listen, don't tell
the other guys,

but when we leave here,
I got a surprise for you.

Tell me what it is.

It's a surprise. Trust me, all right?
Ouch, don't mess around, man...

Alright, you ready?
Come on! You ready?

- Let's jump.
- On three. Ready?

1,

2,

3.

Come on. Let's go.

What's up, Manny?
How you doing?

Fine.
Thank you, sir.

This is
my friend Jim.

How you doing?

I can't believe
I hit my head on that rock.

It's killing me.

Jim, um,
this is Winkie.

- Hi.
- How you doing?

Good.

And this...

this is Blinkie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

# I lost my heart #

# Under the bridge #

# That little girl... #

I've seen you
play ball, Jim.

You're a very
beautiful player.

Very zen.

# And now I moan #

# And now I holler #

# She'll never know #

# Just what I found #

# That blue-eyed girl #

It'll make you
fuck like Superman.

# She said no more #

Faster than
a speeding bullet...

# Became blue-eyed whore... #

More powerful
than a locomotive...

# Down by the water #

# Down by the water... #

Able to, um...

I can't think of anything
with a single bound.

# See her again #

# See her again... #

Do you have
any protection?

Yeah.

This one's, uh, ribbed
for extra pleasure.

So what are you
waiting for?

What do you mean?

Take off
your clothes.

Well...

could we shut off
the lights first?

# Little fish, big fish #

# Swimming in the water #

# Come back here, man #

# Give me my daughter #

# Little fish, big fish #

# Swimming in the water ##

White ship disappears in the
wave machine this morning.

Your eyes got shut
with secret chains

that pillow armies
eventually set free...

like soft horses
through toy deserts.

I love this mansion,

though it's
too many windows...

to open halfway
each morning...

to close halfway
each night.

I looked at his body,

and it was death
for the first time.

His face was thin and wrinkled,
almost apelike.

His hair, just gray patches
on his scalp.

He looked 60 years old,
and he was 16.

Couldn't believe
how skinny he was...

much skinnier than he was
in the hospital.

It was like having the skeleton of someone
you knew put right in front of you.

I felt dazed, like I'd just come out
of a four-hour movie I didn't understand.

I kept thinking
about his face...

and death...

what a cheat the
whole thing was.

Hey, you guys remember
that Halloween

when Bobby filled that
paper bag with dog shit,

lit it on fire and put it outside
Father Dunne's door,

and we all hid
behind the dumpster?

Yeah.

I could picture
Father Dunne

comming outside, stepping on that shit.
Picture him in the john-

scraping the shit
off his shoe like this.

You think that'll
keep him out of heaven?

Are you kidding?
Jesus Christ himself

would have laughed at that.
It was hilarious!

What about the time
at the formal

when Bobby got caught
in the bathroom

with Mary Ann Dugan

and McNulty came in
and busted him?

He was, like,
"Father, I swear.

We weren't
doing anything. "

Meanwhile she's got
a giant wad of cum

hanging off her face.

I tell you, that kid
was definitely a pisser.

It was weird
seeing him today, man.

He was all shriveled up and wrinkled.
He looked like my grandfather.

I'll tell you what,
though.

That kid was
in so much pain,

it's better off
he died.

How the hell
would you know, Mickey?

Did you go
and visit him?

Any of you guys
go and visit him?

All right.
Then shut the fuck up.

Hey, Jim. Look at my brother's
girlfriend in the park.

She's sitting there, eating a sandwich.

Next thing you know,
she's shot in the head.

She's dead.
It's over.

What about little Teddy Rayhill?

Perfect example.

Remember that night
he was up on the roof,

and he was doing poppers, having
a great time, laughing his ass off

He started
walking backwards...

Boom! He fell right off
the goddamn roof.

It was meant to be,
right?

Fuck that, you guys!

Bobby was the best fucking
guy around, you know that?

What are you,
a bunch of idiots?

You don't even understand,
do you?

Jim, you all right?

Listen, maybe you should talk
to one of the priests.

I don't know. Maybe...
Maybe they can help you out.

Help me out?

I wouldn't ask one of those
cocksuckers for directions.

You know what?

You guys need to
lighten the fuck up, all right?

Let bygones
be fucking bygones.

Shitty fucking world.

Live life to the fucking fullest.
You know what I mean?

Shit happens, man.

Shit fucking happens.

Come on.
Let's go.

Jim, come on.

You're growing up,

and rain sort of remains
on the branches of a tree

that will someday
rule the earth.

And that's good
that there's rain.

Clears the month of your
sorry rainbow expressions.

And it clears the streets
of the silent armies

so we can dance.

# Ted sniffing glue
He was 12 years old #

# Fell from the roof on east 2-9 #

# Cathy was 11
when she pulled the plug #

# 26 reds and a bottle of wine #

# Bobby had leukemia,
14 years old #

# He looked like 65
when he died #

# He was a friend of mine #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# They were all my friends #

# They just died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# Those are people
who died, died #

# They were all my friends
and they died ##

Did I ever tell you about
the first time I did heroin?

I went down
to Pedro's basement.

All sorts of characters were in the
storage-room shooting gallery.

I was just going to
sniff a bag,

but a guy says,

"If you're going to sniff,
might as well pop it,

and if you're going to pop it,
might as well mainline. "

I was scared of needles,

but I gave in.

It was like a long heat wave
through my body.

Any ache or pain or sadness or guilty
feeling was completely flushed out.

Look, Ma, I'm not in the mood for your
dime-store psychology, all right?

Could you just please
leave me alone?

I got a little sick,
all right?

We're not going to
live like this, Jim.

We're not going to live like this.
I'm warning you! I'm telling you.

Oh, God, Mom.

You're always warning me,
aren't you?

Blah, blah, blah.
You're always in my fucking ear.

Blah, blah, blah.
You don't know anything.

What are you
talking about?

Go clean toilets or whatever
the hell it is you do.

When you're done,
clean this one.

Don't talk like that!

What's the matter with you?

Gee whiz, Ma,
you know...

we got to have these
heart-to-heart talks more often.

They're really
good for us.

I don't know you.

I don't believe
this is you, Jim.

Please, Jim.
I don't know who you are.

Yeah, I know. I was such
a good little boy, right...

with such potential,
wasn't that it?

Is that what
you're going to say?

Oh, Jim.
What's happening?

Jim, what's happening?

First, it's
a Saturday-night thing,

and you feel cool,
like a gangster or a rock star.

It's just something
to kill the boredom, you know?

They call it a chippie,
a small habit.

It feels so good,
you start doing it on Tuesdays,

then Thursdays.

Then it's got you.

Every wise-ass punk
on the block says

it won't happen to them,

but it does.

Go do it!

I ain't doing it.
I always do it!

I'll do it.
I'll do it.

Excuse me, ma'am. Could you tell me
the fastest way to the subway?

Yeah. That's the "B" train.
Go to this corner and make a left.

It's right there.

What are you doing?
Let go! Let go!

Let go of that!

Oh, my God!
What?

- Help! No! No!
- What are you doing?

Let's go!

Come on!

I don't feel like going in today.

Father, is it all right
if I don't go in today?

Why? What are you
scared of?

Nothing. I just don't
feel like it, that's all.

I imagine you have more to confess
than anybody here.

Unburden yourself.

Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

It's been about four months
since my last confession.

Yes, my son?

Well, I don't know
where to start, Father.

Have you taken the name
of Jesus Christ in vain?

Yeah. Yeah, I have.

Have you disrespected
your mother and father?

Have you stolen
or cheated your fellow man?

Yeah, but I'm
not proud of it.

Have you had
impure thoughts

or engaged
in impure deeds?

Oh, Father, you have no idea.

Is there something else that you
want to tell me in your own words?

I've done all kinds
of crazy shit.

Oh, excuse me, Father.

Fuck, I'm s...

Christ, I have
a dirty mouth.

Look, I'm...
I'm sorry about that.

Will you just go on?

10 Hail Marys,

five Our Fathers.

What do you mean?

And that's it?

That's my punishment?

You know something?

My friend Bobby,
he was the best,

and he's dead.

This sucks! You know that?
This really sucks.

It's not fair, Father.

Your nose is running,

your stomach cramps,

your legs feel like
they've played

six straight games
on top of each other,

and the voice is always there
in the back of your head...

"Just one more time.
then we'll stop. "

Quick to the ball. Quick to the ball.
Two hands. Good, Ignatius.

Good. Good. Quick to the ball.
Two hands. Right behind you.

Sir, all right if I use
the bathroom, Coach?

Jim, you got a bladder
like a woman.

Let's go. Again.

There we go. Right behind him.

Right behind him.

Quick to the ball.
Two hands. Two hands.

Jim?

I thought you were
taking a piss.

What are you doing in here
every practice?

Have you been
waiting for me, Jim?

Giving me some kind
of a signal?

What are you
talking about, Swifty?

Don't act surprised.

Do we understand
each other?

It's not going to
happen, Swifty.

Put the money away.

You want more?

Here.

Just let me do it.

Get the fuck
out of my face!

Take it easy, Jim.

You can't blame me
for trying.

I made a mistake,
all right?

Let's just pretend
it never happened.

Things will go back to exactly
how they were before.

Okay?

Okay? Here,
keep the money.

Keep the money.

Just don't tell anybody,
all right?

Good. Tell anybody
you want!

Nobody's going to believe
a drughead like you, anyway.

You think we don't know
what you've been doing?

Give me
the fucking money

and get the fuck
out of here.

Get the fuck-
Get the fuck out here!

Come on!
Get out of here!

And you want to stop.
You really do.

But it's like a dream.

You can't stop dreams.

They move in crazy pieces,
any way they want to,

and suddenly,
you're capable of anything.

No!

Wake up, Mr. Carroll!
It's later than you think.

Oh. All right!

- I need a lift.
- All right.

What do you got?

Three different pills.
Which are the ups?

I never asked. I thought
one of youse would know.

Oh, great.

We look like
pharmacists?

I don't know
what to take.

What do we take?

Let me see.

The blacks and the reds
are the ups.

I think the pink ones
are the ups.

Why?

'Cuz I associate pink
with lightness, you know?

The black ones seem like
they'd knock you on your ass.

They might be
faded seconals.

No, they're not faded.

They'd be sticky.
They're not.

That's bullshit.

- Fuck your mother.
- My what?

All right!
Calm down.

Don't ever talk
about my mother.

Don't ever hit me
like that again.

Come on! Alright!
Give me your hat.

We got a game to play, alright?

Just give me something.

Hi, Neutron.

Let me ask him.

Neutron, you know
which ones are the ups?

I think you should put that shit away
before Swifty comes in here.

Why you acting like
such a square ass?

Screw you, Mickey.

Screw you, too,
Tough guy. Man.

I'm just going to
take the black.

You sure?

You got a better idea?

Nope. Your guess
is as good as mine, Jimbo.

It's on today.
50 rebounds.

Good.

Come on.
Let's go.

I'm your friend now,
right?

What, I got to smack
you again, c'mon!

Yeah, take your
little rat with you.

- What's up, man?
- Hey, what's up?

Why are you
acting like that?

You know what's wrong.

Used to be about getting high
and playing basketball.

Now it's just about
getting high with you.

You're blowing it, Jim.

Oh, come on. I don't need to
hear this from you, Neutron.

Yeah, you do, Jim! Listen, no, Jim!
I'm really proud of you, man.

Everything's cool.
You look great.

I'll see you
in the NBA.

# Riders on the storm #

# Riders on the storm #

# Into this house
we're born #

# Into this world
we're thrown #

# Like a dog
without a bone #

# In fact we're all alone #

# Riders on the storm #

# There's a killer
on the road #

# His brain is squirming
like a toad #

# Take a long holiday #

# Let your children play #

# If you give
this man a ride #

# Sweet family will die #

# Killer on the road #

# Yeah ##

Did you find it?

No, Father. It's clean.
There's no drugs in there.

Thank you, Officer.

I told you
we didn't have nothing.

You boys think you're
awfully smart, don't you?

Well, you're both
suspended for a week!

Ooh...

And you'll never play
basketball here again.

That you can count on.

You can't kick me
off the team, Swifty.

Oh? Why is that?

'Cause I quit the team...

and the school and this whole
faggot-ass scene, that's why.

I could second
that motion.

Your resignations
are accepted!

Neutron, you coming with us?

Yeah. That's
what I figured.

Come on, man.
I'm fucking out of here.

Don't worry, Swifty.
I'm not going to rat you out.

And in the next
life, Father,

I'm going to have the paddle!

Get out!

Thanks a lot,
Neutron.

Thanks, man.

I can't believe this,
you know?

I know.
What happened to the pills?

We got kicked out
of the school, Mickey.

Who cares, man? We lost the pills.
The cops took them-

We can't
play ball anymore.

Jim, who cares
about school, man?

We just lost $40 worth
of pharmaceuticals.

I know what
happened to them, too.

The cops, they take
that all the time.

They either
pop them themselves

or they sell them.

What's my mom going
to say, man? When I go home?

She ain't
gonna say nothing.

You just tell her you're going
to school every day in the morning.

Let's get out
of here, man...

Go get into something.

You never sold any pills
at the schoolyard?

No.

So it's all a big conspiracy
against you. Right, Jim?

Yeah. Maybe it is.

Maybe it's not.

You been missing these?

What are you going to tell me...
they're vitamins?

Oh, fuck you, Ma.

What?!

Get out of my house!

Oh, is that
what you want, Ma?

Get out! You don't
talk to me that way!

If that's what you want,
I'm fucking out of here. All right?

What are you doing?

I'm leaving!
What do you think?

I wan you to take all your shit!
I'll help you. Here!

You want me to leave?

Yes. Get out!

I'm out of here.
Get the fuck out of my way!

This garbage is
going to kill you, Jim!

I'm gone!

Gonna to kill you!

Don't you understand? I can't
watch you kill yourself?

Ma, you're never going to
fucking see me again, alright?

Just remember that.

Don't say that, Jim.
Don't say that!

It was a dream,
not a nightmare...

a beautiful dream
I could never imagine

in a thousand nods.

I saw this girl
next to me

who wasn't beautiful
until she smiled,

and I felt that smile
come at me

and heat waves following,

soaking through my body
and out my fingertips

in shafts of color.

And I knew
somewhere in the world...

somewhere...
that there was love for me.

We just got to
raise enough cash

to keep our heads straight.

Luckily, finding money
in New York

is like getting laid
at the prom... easy.

- Fuck it, Pedro!
- What's the matter with you?

Jesus! Watch the road.
You could kill us all, c'mon!

I get 1,500 bucks
for this car.

If it's whacked up,
it's worth nothing.

We should
buy shit in bulk, man

We'll put it on the street
and make real money.

That's 500 bucks a piece.

We'll be on for days,
nights, weeks.

Yeah, man.
I'd love to go to Puerto Rico,

soak up some rays,
you know?

See my bitch?

That's what
I'd like to do.

- What are you talking about?
- What bitch?

We haven't seen
a picture or nothing.

She's 500 pounds, Jim.

She got a mustache
thicker than her father.

No. That's your
mother, Mickey.

She does not exist.
Don't fool yourself.

Be careful.
I'm about to whack.

Oh, shit, man.

My brother's going to take care
of us and this car.

Pedro,
wake the fuck up!

Pedro, come on, man!

You're going to get us killed,
what are you doing?

I got it, man.

You want me to drive?

Mickey, you better drive the car.
I'm serious, man.

Just don't blow my high. If there's a
scratch in the car, my brother'll kill me.

Yo, get out of the booth!

Get out the booth, huh?

Get out.

Fucking...

What's up? What's up?

Come on, I'm in a hurry.
Where's the car?

It's good to see you, too.
It's over here.

It's nice.
It's smokin'.

You tell me that?

It's everything
you wanted.

Get your hands off.
You guys look like shit.

Oh, my God.

They're taking the car.

Show me the sign, man!

Show me
the freaking sign!

It's right there.
You see?

It says "tow-away."

You scumbags even read?

I should kick
all your punk asses!

Goddamn it!

I can get you
another car tonight.

Yeah? John Halligan is
waiting for this car.

I got him out
of bed with his wife.

You know how this
makes me fucking look?

Kenny, get off.

You're too stupid
to be my brother!

You're too stupid!

You want a piece
of me, Carroll?

Back off! Back off!

- Kenny, no more!
- Mr. Tough Guy.

- Kenny, no more!
- Huh? Tough guy?

Give me a sip
of your soda.

You wipe off the bottle
before you take a sip?

You don't even think twice
about sharing works with Mickey.

You think you'll catch something
from the bottle

you're not catch
from a needle?

You mistake me for somebody
who gives a shit.

Headquarters...
home on and off

to every down-and-out
junkie and wino

from 14th Street
to the Bowery.

It's like a fucking
all-star team.

Jimmy, the other day,

my mother's been
ragging on me,

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

"You've tried every other way.
Go to church.

Put yourself
in Christ's hands. "

So I do it, man.
I figure, give it a shot.

I dig Jesus.

So, I go, man. High mass...
a choir and everything.

The first thing I see
on the right, the side altar,

are those little candles
in the red glass

that we used when
it was windy in the park

to cook up.

And then, this altar boy,
he's coming down the aisle

with this 6-foot candle.

I envision this
huge spoon above it, man,

with, like, shopping bags
full of dope inside of it.

And then the kicker
comes, man.

The priest, he starts doing
the thing with the incense.

You know,
starts wafting out.

I'm in the back.
It finally hits me.

"Where do I know
this smell from, man?

My room, man. "

It's the smell exactly

of really primo dope
cooking up.

Yeah?

Exactly the same.

So what
happened next?

At that point, I split.

I went home,

I went inside my closet,

I got my stash out
of the inside pocket

of my sharkskin
easter suit,

and I got stoned.

Ba bing...

ba bang.

I love a ritual.

Oh, Mary, if you can hear me...

I need you to fill
Jim's heart with love

because he really
needs it now.

Oh, God...

please watch over my son.

He needs you now.

Just take care of him, okay?

I'll be okay.

I love you, Jim.

I love you.

Hey, you holding?
You straight, man?

Get out of here.

Come on.

No.

Hey, have you
seen Falco?

Come on, man.
Are you holding anything?

Hey, Diane...
Come here, Diane.

- I'll take care of you, babe.
- Yeah?

Yeah. How about
some of this?

I wouldn't do you for a bag,
you fucking piece of shit.

Jim.

Jimmy.

You're looking good.

Who's your embalmer?

I want some
of what you got.

Check everything
in this place.

Wow. I always wanted
to use these syrup pumps.

And these professional
ice-cream scoopers.

Oh, my God.

Don't make me do it!

I'll do it!
I swear to God!

Jim, watch out.

Come on!

It's not opening.

They don't make them
like this anymore.

You got to get it
from the side.

I got it!

Oh, cool.

Change!

Shit!

Let's get
out of here.

It's locked.
We got to go out the back.

Pedro,
let's get out of here!

What am I,
hallucinating here?

Pedro, you'll
get us caught.

The cops are
going to come.

Oh, you want to
be tough, huh?

Go ahead... take another sip so I can blow
your fucking head all over the counter!

Go ahead, Pedro! Go ahead!

Come on, guys! Let's go.

Put that gun away!

Don't fuck with me,
motherfucker!

What the hell
are you doing, Mickey?

What the hell
did you do that for?

Let that little
spic rot, man!

He'll get us caught.

Jim, the cops are coming.
Come on!

Jim!

Jim!

Pedro! Pedro!

Jim!

Freeze! Freeze!

On your stomach!
On your stomach!

I didn't do anything,
I'm telling you!

This is it, man.

That Jew got to keep
the money under his pillow.

Hey, Jim, I know
you're still mad about Pedro.

I couldn't
do nothing, man.

He was going to
get us caught.

Definitely shouldn't have
went that far.

What happened to you?
Your mother kick your ass?

Yeah, real funny.

Bring us a couple of Cokes,
will you?

You all right?

Hey, bartender,
move out of the way.

Jim, I'm getting sick.
I got to get some money to cop.

Jim.

You with me here?

What the hell
are you wa...

Oh, shit.

That's Neutron.

That's the all-American
high school game?

We could have played
in that game.

Who gives a shit?
Come on.

I'm waiting to hear back on a
scholarship from Saint John's...

I'm not sure about it, but
hopefully it will work out.

Jim, I'm starting to jones.
Gotta get out there. We need some money.

Jim, don't dwell on
these dreams, man.

Will you come on?

Meet you outside, man.
I'm getting sick.

You want to meet me
out there?

Is it okay if I say
hi to my mom?

Hi, Mom.

- Thanks.
- Thanks a lot.

# You don't know it,
but you're coming right along #

# Please be strong #

# You don't know it,
but you're coming right along ##

Hey, you! Stop!
You can't go in there! Stop!

What do you want?

You realize
what time it is?

Yeah. Um... is Winkie
and Blinkie here?

Who the hell
are Winkie and Blinkie?

Hey, guys.

Lisa, Mel,
you know this boy?

No, Daddy.

Come on.

All right.

Come on.
Get out of here.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Rubin. He got past me.
- Don't let it happen again.

It won't happen again.
Get out of here!

What? What?

Asshole.

Hey, fuck-up,
get fucking up, man!

- What's your problem, man?
- What's YOUR problem, mam?

You sold my girlfriend
some shit the other day.

You almost killed her.
What was it... rat poison?

It's not my fault your girl
can't handle her drugs.

I want my fucking
$20 back, man.

Look, there's no money-back guarantees.
I'm not selling refrigerators here.

Oh, yeah?

I'll cut you a dynamite
deal on mexican shit.

Give me my $20,
or we'll go outside.

If we go outside, one of us
is going to get hurt.

I told you one of us
would get hurt.

Is that right?

It's been hard...
the writing... lately.

Terrible numbness,
then suddenly it comes...

in beautiful fragments
or terrible dreams...

like nods...

so high.

Reggie, is that you?

Who the fuck
do you think it is?

Don't worry,

you're not dead yet.

It's not bad.

Hey, give me that.

How come it's all wet?

Because you
pissed on it.

I didn't say
you could read this.

What, have you been
digging through all my stuff?

I need... I got
to get out of here.

Where's my jacket?

You're welcome.

What the hell am I
thanking you for?

Because you was frozen in the snow
like a goddamn creamsicle.

Where is it?

What?

You know what the fuck I'm
talking about, Reggie! Where is it?

You mean this?

Give it to me.

I'll cut your fucking throat, Reggie!
Give it to me, all right?

Just give it to me!

Oh, give it to me!

Give it to me!
I'm serious!

Give me it!

Give it to me!

Goddamn it!

I'll make you
an incredible offer.

I'm going to save your life
twice in one day, understand me?

You should have left me
in the fucking snow, man.

Give me the money
for my dope, too.

I'm not gonna suck your dick,
all right? Put that away.

Who the hell wants you
to suck their dick?

Goddamn it!

Look at yourself!
Just look at yourself.

Oh, Reggie...

it's okay.

Why are you doing this?

Because once upon a time, somebody helped
me, and I always pay what I owe.

Reggie.

Reggie,
I just need a taste.

I just need a little
something, Reggie.

You don't understand.

It hurts, Reggie!

Reggie, I got to go.

I got to go see my mom.

You got to let me
get out of here, Reggie.

Reggie!

It hur...
It hurts.

Shit!

Oh, boy...

# Touch the taste
and taste the smell #

# Smell the scent, all the gifts
you gave to me, baby #

# The food of your brain #

# The room is spinning round #

# I never come down #

# The room is spinning round #

# I never come down... #

Reggie.

you got to give me it.

You got to
give me it, Reggie.

Please!

Reggie, come on!

# I remember you, too #

# I blew my mind ##

Wake up.
Can't sleep all day.

Oh. Thanks.

Jesus Christ.

What happened to you?

What does it look like?
Motherfucker shot me.

Woke my black ass up.

Shit.

Look, uh... I'll be back
in the morning, Jim.

You just stay cool.

You start
to get panicky,

write about me
in that book of yours.

Actually, I was a little hurt
I wasn't mentioned.

You really like my writing,
huh, Reggie?

Damn, man, I told you
four times already.

What do you want me to do?
Bend over and kiss your ass?

Hey, Reg,
do me a favor.

While you're out,
pick me up a bag.

# The room is spinning round #

# I may never come down #

I am alone.

Not just me.

We're alone...

alone forever.

And who's at the end of that
forever tunnel I run through,

up Fifth with the wallpaper
of skyscrapers?

I'm thinking, after all
those beautiful trips,

that this is one
of those bad ones.

Diane?

Hey!

Jim. Remember me?

Man, you look great.

Yeah, thanks.

Good to see somebody
from the old neighborhood...

What do you want, Jim?

- You holding anything?
- No.

Just like
a 5 or something?

Just to tide me over,
you know?

Please, Diane?
Come on.

Yeah. For an old friend?
Why not?

I've been looking
all over for this.

Oh, you know what?
I only got a 20.

A 20 is good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah!

A 20 is great, yeah.
That would help me out a lot.

- You want a 20?
- Yeah.

Why don't you go buy yourself
some pretzels, you asshole.

You bitch!
You're nothing but a whore!

I don't give a shit
about your clothes!

You're still
a whore to me!

Yeah? Shut up. Look at you.
Oh, are you desperate now, baby?

Who's a whore now?

Don't talk to me like that,
you bitch!

Who's laughing, stupid?

Don't play a game with me!
I know you!

Shit.

Oh, man.

Shit.

Mickey.

Mick,
what's up, man?

Hey, what's up, man?

Did you
get anything?

No, not a dime.
You score?

Yeah,
I got something.

What'd you get?

About 35 bucks.

35? Where'd you
get it?

I robbed some fucking asshole
on the "D" train.

Dude, 35 will keep us on
for, like, two days.

Well, could we get some stuff, man?
I'm fucking... my head is...

I see some spics. I think we can score.
You wanna check it out?

- Yeah, alright.
- Come on. They're over here.

Why the fuck do we have to cop
on the street all the time?

My fucking nuts are
itching like crazy.

Think this is him?

Is your name Pino?

Listen... could we
get us some dope?

The dude over there
said you could help.

You want to cop some shit?

Let me see some cash.

I got it here.

Let me see.

Hey, no money
without no taste.

You want a taste?

Don't worry.
Don't worry.

Hurry, man.

Come on.
There's fucking cops all over.

That's good, man.
That's good.

All right, listen...
4 for 35.

4 for 35, man?

Come on, man.
$5.00 short.

What's the big deal?

Ta bien, chico...
Toma, toma.

- You got four?
- Yeah.

We should taste this.

Where are we
going to cook it up?

I don't know
about his guy.

No, he's cool.

Fuck, man!

What's the matter?

- Just taste it! Come on.
- What do you mean? I tasted it.

He beat us.
He fucking beat us.

I swear to fucking God...

Put that away!

I'm gonna
kill this mother-!

- Come here, motherfucker!
- Put it away!

I'm going to fucking
kill you, you motherfucker!

Motherfucker, you're fucking dead,
you hear me?

Dude, don't
make me do it.

Where's the money?

I want the money.
I want the money and the bags.

Where's
the fucking money?

The fucking money!
I want it!

No!

- Oh, shit!
- We fucking killed him!

What the fuck
do you mean, we?

I didn't
fucking touch him!

Don't put
that shit on me!

He beat us, man!
He deserved it!

You went too far, Mickey!
Oh, shit!

Is he dead?

Of course he's fucking dead!
He fell six stories!

Jim, come on.

Come on! Will you come one?
Jim, don't make me leave you here!

Oh, shit.

# Star #

# I'll reach you if I try #

# Show me the truth, yeah #

# Star #

# I'll reach you if I try #

# Show me the truth, yeah ##

Come on, get back up!
Come on!

Get off of me!
What are you doing?

Who is it?

Ma... let me in.

Ma, let me in!

Please, Ma.

Ma? Hey, Ma?

Are you in there, Ma?

Ma, is that you?

Yeah.

Ma? Ma?

- Are you there?
- Yeah.

Hi.

Hi, Ma.

Hi. Hi.

Listen, I need you to
help me out, all right?

I need you to
give me some money.

Okay?

I need you to give me,
like, five doll...

Like, $20,
something like that

because I'm
in some trouble.

Ma?

Do you hear me, Ma?

Yeah, I hear you.
I can't help you.

Okay, listen,

what you got to do is give me
some money, okay?

Jim, I can't do that.

Why not?

Mom, you know I'm not
going to do anything with it.

I just need to go out of town
for a little while

'cause I got
into some trouble,

and I need some help.

Okay? So, you got to
give me some money, Mom.

Can you hold my hand?

Yeah, I'll hold your hand.

Mom, can you give me
some money, please?

Mom, can you give me
some money, please?

Stop fucking around!

I can't.

Mom, give me some
fucking money, please!

What are you doing?
I'm your son!

I don't have any.

Mom, don't fuck
around like this!

Give me some money!

Mom!

Come on! Let me in
the fucking door!

Oh, God.

Oh, fuck.

Let me in.

I need some money.

I need some money
real bad.

Oh, God.

Someone's breaking
into my apartment.

They have a knife.

Mom!

You don't understand, Mom.

You don't know what
you're fucking doing to me.

Mom, I'm in pain.

How could you do this
to your son, you bitch?

You fucking bitch!

Oh, let me in!

I'll do anything!
I'll be a good boy!

I'll be a good boy, mom,

if you let me in.

Get off me!

Get off!

No!

No!

You fuckers!

You're not going to do this!
Fuck you!

Ma! Don't do this!

Ma!

Ma!

Ma!

I got six months
in Riker's Island

for assault, robbery,

resisting arrest,
and possession of narcotics.

I sweated out
a horrible cure

and stayed clean
the whole stretch

even though it's been easier
to get good junk in here

than it is on the street.

Shit, it's been hard, man.

All I've been doing
is reading these diaries

and wondering how the hell
I'm still alive,

and even if I care.

Suffice to say
that I'm finished

with the asshole bandits
of shower-room rape,

and suffice to say
that those swine guards

won't draw blood
from my ankles again.

Suffice to say that I've been
just thinking about dumb stuff

like what a nice concept it is to have
a godmother and a godfather,

wondering who
my godparents might be.

My mom won't visit me here,

so I guess I'll just have to wait
till I get home to ask.

Jim?

Who's there?

It's me.

Pedro?

What's up, man?

Nothing. You know.

I... I hear you come here.

I just came by to say hi.

I'm sorry about that night

at the candy store
and everything.

It's all right. Reform school
turned out to be real cool,

so don't sweat it.

Did you hear about Mickey,
that scumbag?

He went and threw
some chump off a roof.

He's getting
5 to 15 years, man.

They tried him
like an adult.

Shit.

I got a present
for you, Jim.

A bag of the finest dope

in Manhattan.

You know, me and you?

Like old times?

I can't.

Come on.
It would be dynamite.

I got this thing to do.

Why don't you come
check it out?

No. I'm going to go,
then, you know?

You know how it is.

Take care of yourself,
little man.

Know this.

There's different types
of users of junk.

You got your rich
dilettante square-ass

who dabbles now and then

and always has enough money
to run off to the Riviera

if he feels he's fucking around
to the danger point.

Street junkies
hate these pricks,

but they're always suckers,
and their money makes them tolerable.

Then you got
your upper-middle-class

Westchester preppies...

same as the others,
basically.

What they're good for is opening
their mommy and daddy's eyes

to this social virus

and putting pressure
on the government

to do something about it.

Then there's us street kids.

Start fucking around
very young,

13 or so...

We think we all
got it under control

and won't get strung out.

This rarely works.

I'm living proof.

But in the end,
you just got to see the junk

as another 9-to-5 gig.

The hours are just a bit more
inclined to shadows.