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1 Okay, MoonRockers. Tonight,

we are welcoming a new couple into our family.

Their pre-enlightenment names

were Brenda and Ted,

but they will now be known

as Sunrise and Male Number 28.

Hi, everyone.

Wait, what?

I met Sunrise in a threesome with David Crosby.

And for her recruiting efforts,

Flower here will now be receiving

extra carrots with dinner.

Male 11,

you will be giving her your carrots.

- Sw... Uh... - Thanks, Male 11.

Just to catch our new members up, this...

is the Moon Rock.

It is the sacred meteorite that guides us,

creates the laws we live by,

and that only I can talk to.

In terms of living arrangements,

Sunrise, you will be joining me and the other wives

in the Moon Tent,

- and Number 44... - Twenty-eight.

Whatever. You will be communing with nature.

You will be given a blanket

and a stick with which to fend off badgers.

Yes, Flower?

I was just wondering, is the world

still going to end next week?

Oh.

Uh... no.

The Moon Rock

is very happy with this situation

and, as such, has called off the major meteor explosion

until sundown on...

... February 13,

2025.

Oh! That's great news.

Well, that's all for tonight.

So, uh, wives... to the Moon Tent.

And husbands... grab your sticks,

and may the badgers be scarce tonight.

All right, team,

I want you to look around.

You are the best that the Hudson Valley has to offer.

- At this salary level. - Welcome aboard,

everyone. Isaac Higgintoot.

- Management. - Gabe I know from

my days in New York.

What this man can do at a prep station is an inspiration.

Oh, right, New York.

Did I used to sell you weed?

I like Gabe.

Great energy.

Cobra, Neel, very excited to work with both of you.

I would die for you, Chef.

Got to love Cobra's commitment.

Happy to be here. Quick "Q"...

who was that hot blonde I saw in here earlier?

That's my wife.

- Not cool, Neel. - Moving on.

- Everyone, this is Amanda. - What?

What'd I do? Please don't fire me.

Child, don't worry. You were the only one that applied

- for the position. - By opening night,

this team will be a well-oiled machine.

February 13, 2025...

that's the day that we make culinary history.

Why does that date sound so familiar?

- Yes, Gabe. - Will there be drug tests?

Wasn't planning on it.

Seems like maybe there should be.

So, as you know,

the opening of Jay's restaurant is tomorrow night,

and the hottest ticket in town

is a seat at the ghost table.

We're talking "Sugar Ray opening for Limp Bizkit

- at Webster Hall" hot. - Oh, I love Sugar Ray.

I watched him beat the crap out of Roberto Durán in 1980.

I know it's surprising,

but I love blood sports.

Since Isaac is busy

with the restaurant launch, I've been put in charge

of choosing who will sit at the ghost table.

Now, there are four seats,

and, obviously, Isaac and I will be in two of them.

Why do you get to go?

Because I'm Isaac's money manager,

by virtue of the fact that I went to Wharton

and I have the ability to touch buttons on a computer.

Which brings me to the reason

that I gathered you all here.

You are the finalists for the two remaining seats,

and I am now open for pitches.

Go.

This is preposterous.

Hey, is Trevor pushing his leverage? Sure.

But that's what good businessmen do.

Plus, the guy's looking great.

What? I've never been to a restaurant before, okay? I want this.

I don't want to toot my own horn,

so I'll just throw others under the bus.

You really want a guy who smells like wolf urine sitting with you?

That's a good point.

Sorry, Thor.

That was cutthroat.

But as someone who has cut many throat,

Thor respect.

Well, if Thor's out, then I'm out.

I'm out, too.

The truth is, with my ghost power,

I'm able to visit a restaurant anytime I like.

I've already smelled out, like, three times this week.

This is ridiculous.

I am the lady of this house, and, as such,

I will not grovel for my rightful place at that table.

Well, then you're out, too.

Congratulations, Alberta and Sass.

I'll see you both at opening night.

Sorry, Hetty.

You can still come to the opening.

You just have to stand.

I was standing front row at an MMA fight last week.

One of their teeth flew right through my head.

Damn, Pete.

I have a lot of repressed rage.

Cobra, come on.

You were supposed to turn that 20 seconds ago.

Flounder is a delicate fish!

And my favorite character from Animal House.

Oh! Stir that sauce, girl!

What are you doing?

It's so frustrating.

I just wish I could, like, Ratatouille them.

- What's "ratatouille"? - It's a movie where a rat controls a cook.

It's good. It's about a restaurant. It's like that show The Bear,

but it's a comedy.

Gabe, there's supposed to be

three mini samosas on this plate.

I think I dropped one.

Aw,

I miss the munchies.

- Hey, that's not bad. - No.

It's still not right.

It's undercooked. It's oversauced.

We open tomorrow, and the kitchen staff isn't even ready.

Look, I know you're nervous about the restaurant opening,

but everything is gonna go great.

Yeah, Gabe clearly enjoyed the samosa.

Gabe would probably eat a horse right now.

Is the point that Gabe has a refined palate?

And the lamb looks great. Here, let me try it.

Mmm. This is good.

- I like it. - There's too much going on.

You can't even taste the meat.

No, it's meaty.

But it could be meatier, right?

"Meatier, right?"

"Meatier, right?"

Meteorite.

That's what the meteorite is telling us.

February 13, 2025...

the day the world is gonna end.

February 13, 2025.

Sam, you and Jay need to get underground right now!

- What? - The world is going to end tomorrow at sundown.

It has been foretold.

What's going on? Is this a ghost thing?

- Exciting. - It's Flower.

For some reason, she's saying

the world is gonna end tomorrow

and we need to get underground.

I don't have time to deal with any Flower nonsense right now.

The only disaster I'm worried about tomorrow

is Neel's tambda rassa.

I should be there for Jay's talk with Neel.

Management.

Sam, you need to listen to me.

Okay, it's not a great time.

¡Por Dios, Samantha, escúchame!

¿Quieres morir?

She only speak Spanish when she very upset.

Flower teaching Thor little.

And, not to brag, but she say it going "no bueno."

Flower, I appreciate that you're trying to help,

but Jay is under a lot of stress right now.

He's gonna be under a lot of moon rock pretty soon

if you don't heed my warning!

Let's just get through the restaurant opening,

and then I promise you'll have my full attention

about the end of the world.

But you'll all be dead.

Uh-huh, sure, thank you.

I'm gonna save Sam and Jay.

Even if it means stopping this restaurant opening

from ever happening!

I'm so happy for you about your restaurant opening.

Thank you, Hetty.

But I will be blunt...

- I am concerned. - About the lack of horse pie on this menu?

Yes, it's a concern I share.

I'm just worried that with you situated at the ghost table,

in the middle of all the action,

you might accidentally get walked through.

Oh, dear.

And release my noxious curse.

That would be terrible.

That could clear the room.

But...

not if you are safely tucked away in some dark corner.

Yes, I suppose, although I'd hate to be so sidelined.

True. But one could argue that, from such a perch,

you might have a better vantage point from which

to view the entire space.

Hmm. Interesting.

I always did like being far from the action in battle.

For strategic purposes.

But that does leave the matter of an empty seat.

One that I would be happy to fill

with your blessing.

Then it's settled.

You shall take my spot at the ghost table,

and I shall triumphantly lurk in the corner,

watching over my success.

- Huzzah. - Huzzah!

You guys, the world is ending tomorrow.

We got to stop the restaurant from opening

so we can save Sam and Jay.

Not now, Flower.

We're discussing the big opening.

And I'm going to watch from the sidelines,

where one can see it all.

Why won't anyone listen?

Hmm.

Hey, guys.

- I need your help. - Oh.

- What is it, Flower? - Well,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news...

Wait, did somebody just say "bear"?

You did.

Oh, right.

The thing is, I have it on good authority

that the world is going to end tomorrow.

- Really? - According to the prophet, Bruce,

there's going to be a massive meteorite shower,

- destroying all life on the Earth's surface. - You know,

it's interesting. We've been seeing

some dark tidings down here.

The water heater recently died.

Hey, I'm buying what you're selling.

In our experience, life usually does end

with some mass catastrophic event.

Yeah, cholera outbreak, doomsday meteorite...

it all checks out.

If I could just figure out a way to stop the restaurant opening,

we could save Sam and Jay's lives.

Well, we might be able to help with that.

Really? How?

Did we ever tell you about our ghost powers?

Excited for the festivities tomorrow?

I am.

And I will be sure to wave at you from the ghost table.

Well, it shan't be a far wave, because I'll be

just across the table,

as I'm now also sitting there.

No, you were sitting there.

But I heard about your little conversation

and convinced Isaac that he'd be lonely in the corner.

And now he'd like his good friend Hetty to join him.

I gave your seat to Baxter.

Which I heard about

and proceeded to convince Baxter that attending Isaac's opening

would be a stab in the back to his good friend Nigel,

whom Isaac left at the altar.

We can go round and round, Lefkowitz.

Whatever. You're not sitting at that table.

Is this because I'm Irish?

Haven't my proud people suffered enough?

What?

This has nothing to do with that.

Well, then why on earth are you so determined

to exclude me from this dinner?

Fine. If you must know,

it's 'cause I don't like how you ended things between us.

What? You broke up with me.

Because I caught you trying to get with Thor.

As part of a complicated Good Luck Chuck scenario.

- We've been through this. - It doesn't matter.

You didn't even have the decency to talk to me about it first.

The point is,

you're out, and I win.

T-Money.

More like T-New Money!

Yeah, that's right!

That's the kind of quips you won't be getting

at that table without me there!

Excellent-looking marinade, Cobra.

I love the color on that chicken, Gabe.

- And I love you, man. - Whatever Gabe

took in the bathroom is kicking in.

Amanda, that is a perfect consistency.

Hey, what's the deal with that manager chick?

Is she seeing anyone?

The deal is she's my sister.

And yes, she's seeing someone.

But is it, like, solid?

It's really a numbers game for Neel.

Your number's zero.

Which is how high you can count, Thor.

Thor count to one, which is number

of small, ugly hats on your head.

Oh, the zingers.

I feel like I'm at a Dean Martin roast.

So, how you feeling?

Honestly, I don't want to jinx it,

but dinner service starts in an hour,

and I think people are actually going to love it.

We made it, guys.

Huzzah. Ah, this would be more impactful

if either of you could hear me.

All right, let's hurry.

After this, we still need to convince Sam and Jay

to seek shelter downstairs with us.

You heard the lady. Time to neutralize the kitchen staff.

- What's happening? - ¡Viva la revolución!

Yeah, I feel good.

Oh. Hey, guys.

What are you all doing up here?

Attack!

What the heck just happened?!

We're saving Sam and Jay before the world ends.

Turns out the basement ghost power

is giving people cholera.

That not good.

Oh, they'll be all right tomorrow.

But they're gonna have a rough night.

This is a disaster. Flower, what the hell did you do?!

You ruined my restaurant!

For what it's worth, I'm hearing

that the cholera is temporary,

and it's not contagious.

Ooh, you hate when that's the good news.

- Do we have to, like, call the CDC? - What?

No. We can't tell anyone about this.

Ask for Gary Thomas. He'll be discreet.

He helped me out back in '84

when there was a dengue fever outbreak in Laos,

and I had to get the Robinsons home from their honeymoon.

Sam, tell Jay he might be upset right now, but he is going

to be relieved when meteors rain down on the Earth,

and all life on the surface is extinguished.

- Yeah, these are some dark silver linings. - Okay, Bela,

let's write up some sort of damage-control email

that doesn't specifically mention cholera

- and send it to the guests. - Okay.

We can use the template I have from when there was an outbreak

of worms at the cat café.

Cool.

I can't believe you, Flower.

You knew how important this night was to Jay.

Please, Sam, we have to get to the basement.

The world is ending at sundown.

Flower,

the sun set almost a half an hour ago.

- Really? - Yes.

Great wolf Skoll already chase Sun out of sky

to begin nightly journey through Underworld.

Sorry to get scientific.

But...

the world didn't end.

I don't understand.

Bruce told us.

Wait. Did the meteorite lie to Bruce?

Oh, she's so close.

You really don't get it? Bruce lied.

He wasn't a prophet. He was a con man.

The cult was a scam.

It was?

How do you not see that?

You ruined the restaurant opening for nothing.

I'm such an idiot.

Hey, guys, how's it going?

Oh, wait. I remember.

I'm an idiot, and I've ruined everything.

Trevor.

May I sit, or am I banned from all tables across the property?

Knock yourself out.

You know, I very much enjoyed today's battle

of social manipulation.

You are quite the formidable opponent.

Yeah, well, you don't get to be president

of your local B'nai B'rith youth organization chapter

without knowing how to play the game.

Okay, it's not exactly the Newport 400.

Look, it's not like I want to get back together or anything.

It's just, we used to be friends,

and then we were kind of a power couple,

and then we were...

nothing.

I certainly could have handled things better.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

You know, I, too, miss our friendship.

And I agree, we were something of a power couple.

Mm.

But maybe

we can be...

power friends.

I'm listening.

I'm proposing an alliance.

Instead of jousting with each other,

we collude against the other ghosts

to our mutual benefit,

with the ultimate goal of ruling the house.

- As power friends. - Mm.

I like it. Plus, it sounds like a Saturday-morning cartoon.

- Is that good? - Duh! They rocked.

Okay, what the hell? Let's do it.

Power friends.

Power friends.

Now what?

Now, we sit and await opportunities

to be better than other people.

Maybe in the living room?

More foot traffic. Smart.

Hey, Flower, how are you doing?

- You're still talking to me? - Look,

I'm very upset about what you did.

You sabotaged the opening of the restaurant

in literally the grossest way possible.

But...

I know you only did it because you care about us.

I am so sorry, Sam.

- Thank you, Flower. - For once,

I thought I was the one that was going to be right,

and everyone would thank me for saving the day.

But it turns out I'm just the joke

everyone thought I was.

Well, people love jokes.

Knock-knocks, chicken crossed the road.

Steve Martin's whole arrow-through-the-head bit,

which, yes, hits a little close to home, but I still eat it up.

You're not a joke, Flower.

Yes, you may have been duped by Bruce,

and yes, you can be a little naive sometimes,

but it's because you have this beautiful ability

to see the best in people.

And we love that about you.

We all could take a page out of your book.

Bruce promised a better life

when things were really hard for me,

and I had nowhere else to turn.

That's what cults do.

They prey on people who are vulnerable.

That's how I got involved in the whole Amway thing.

I died with a garage full of that crap.

I really just wanted to belong.

You do belong, with us.

- Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

So, I guess opening night is canceled?

It looks that way.

Jay can't do an entire dinner service on his own.

Well, can't you, Bela and Mark pitch in?

We don't know the recipes.

Oh.

But you guys do.

The three of you have been there the whole time,

watching in the kitchen while he's been training the staff on the menu.

She's right. We know that menu inside and out.

When to put things in the oven,

when to take them out, how to plate them.

Yeah, we just can't interact with the physical world.

- But Sam, Bela and Mark can. - Flower, that's genius.

We can tell Sam what needs to be done,

and, Sam, you can tell them.

It'll be like Ratatouille, but with ghosts.

Ghostatouille.

- You really think this'll work? - I do.

But I believe everything, which we are now framing

as one of my great qualities.

Okay, let's give it a shot.

Ghostatouille! Felt worth repeating

since it didn't garner much of a response the first time.

It's Ratatouille plus ghosts.

Sam, is it helpful if you write this down for people?

This needs more coriander!

Bela, that saag paneer needs more coriander.

- Oh, these samosas are done. - Those are done, Mark.

- Table six low on water! - Table six needs more water.

On it.

How is she tracking all this?

Oh, I don't know, Mark.

She's a woman, and she's good at her job. I've heard about you.

Not in my kitchen, Mark.

Ah, the things they do to this poor man.

These are some pretty prime seats, huh?

Yeah, not bad.

Excuse me. This table was reserved for myself and Trevor.

Well, there's plenty of room. You're welcome to join us.

You can sit next to me.

No, thank you. I'm good.

Basement buddies.

Basement buddies.

Ladies and gentleman, Chef Jay.

Uh...

Well, I hope you're enjoying your first course.

Um, this menu was intended

to be a modern take on the foods that I grew up eating,

because, above all else,

Mahesh is about family.

You know, in a family,

you can have your disagreements.

And, to be honest, we had one today.

But then we came together to make tonight happen,

and I'm so grateful to share it with you all.

Great speech. Who is this guy?

Thank you, everyone.

Enjoy your meals.

You heard him. Thank you for coming.

Oh.

Sorry.

- That was me. - Wow.

There's really nothing Sam won't do for us.

Back to my corner.

Retreat.

Well, I'm glad you guys are feeling better.

I know it was a rough 24 hours.

Yeah, I looked up the symptoms,

and I know this is gonna sound weird,

but it kept coming up "cholera."

Well, obviously, it wasn't an extremely rare

and mostly eradicated infectious disease,

'cause that would be crazy.

- How's Jay gonna get out of this one? - Anyway,

we looked into it, had a guy run some labs.

Science stuff. Turns out, it was the romaine lettuce

we ate at family meal.

He's blaming lettuce?

Haven't America's honest lettuce pickers had enough?

Oh, it was my idea. It came to me because I recently learned

there's such a thing called "bacteria,"

which are like little men that live on the leaves

and punch your stomach from the inside.

We're still following laws this fool made.

So we're all agreed?

It was the romaine and nothing else?

Yes, Chef!

Man, these people will believe anything.

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