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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:06,403 You should've seen me last night at O'Malley's I sat there with the band ! 2 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,379 Okay, I didn't do anything But I sat there ! 3 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,414 Geez, Berg, I'm sorry I missed it but... 4 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:19,286 You know what ? It hit me the other day... I'm actually here to get a degree ! 5 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,022 Hey! Come watch softball with me today 6 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,590 Hey! I gotta go to class ! 7 00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:28,028 Berg, we can't all be philosophy majors 8 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:32,032 Look, it's not my fault a bunch of guys in sandals did my homework for me 9 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,233 four thousand years ago 10 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:36,650 That's mine 11 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,604 Ehhh... 12 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:41,975 So, what do you plan to do after grad school? 13 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,278 Why can't you just let me be happy? 14 00:00:44,538 --> 00:00:47,782 Because it's not fair to the rest of us! 15 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:51,018 I mean, you triple majored in undergrad and you never even opened up a book! 16 00:00:52,039 --> 00:00:53,854 That's...the wonder of me! 17 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,025 No, that's not the wonder of you! That's the trouble with you! 18 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:02,563 See, you're always skating by...and someday -- SOMEDAY -- you're gonna hit a rough spot 19 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,899 Who poured you a double mocha of grumpy this morning? 20 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,203 Grumpy 21 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:14,341 I spent all night on this, I've got a test in structures, we have to be at work at three, and.. 22 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:19,746 Oh, boy... 23 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,978 I'm breaking up with Melissa today 24 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,249 we have to be at work at three? 25 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,021 I'm breaking up with Melissa today?! 26 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,091 One hole! C'mon! Berg, I can't be late 27 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,627 When Sharon stops down we'll make her give us a ride 28 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,395 What makes you think she's gonna stop down? 29 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,165 I stole her last roll of toilet paper 30 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,600 Berg, I'm not in the mood... 31 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,768 So what the hell's going on with you and Melissa, huh? 32 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:47,608 I don't know -- look, next week is our six-month anniversary and the lease is up on Hong Kong. 33 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:50,143 - Huh? - China's taking back the lease on Hong Kong 34 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,580 Really? I never knew the Chinese were leasing 35 00:01:53,947 --> 00:02:02,389 I mean, think about all those people, who worked so hard to make Hong Kong what it is, right? For what?They have no future! It's just like Melissa and me 36 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:09,663 I mean, if I was meant to spend my life with her, I'd be thinking about getting married by now! Now, do you see me shopping for a ring? Nooooooo 37 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,167 ...thusly, we are living in Hong Kong, waiting for our lease to run out. 38 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:18,872 Quit thinking so much! You like her, she adores you...screw the future 39 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,074 One under! 40 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:26,013 Look, look...Melissa's terrific. But she's just...she not 'The One' 41 00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:38,425 I don't -- So Melissa's not 'The One', huh? 42 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,753 8:45. All is clear 43 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,190 Since when do you have asthma? 44 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:43,430 Berg, you've gotta stop doing these experiments, you're gonna hurt yourself! 45 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,333 It pays 50 bucks! 46 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,069 But you don't have asthma! 47 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:54,408 Don't need it! You know they always say not to exceed the recommended daily dosage? 48 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:54,942 Yeah? 49 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:59,847 Well, I'm the guy...who exceeds it so they know why you shouldn't! 50 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:06,119 Well, I'm the guy that had to drive you to the hospital when that new foot spray made your toenails fall off! 51 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,021 They grew back thicker! 52 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:10,924 Berg, you just can't! 53 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,193 You hate being single! No, don't change the subject! 54 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,396 Dating, getting used to someone, finding out their quirks.. 55 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,732 What's Melissa's? 56 00:03:18,764 --> 00:03:19,433 What? 57 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,167 Quirk 58 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:23,570 Nothing 59 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,711 Peter, we don't play that 60 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,647 All right, but you can't tell anyone 61 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,617 Soon as you tell me, I'm chopping off my tongue 62 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,385 - Melissa... - Yeah. 63 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,787 When we're...you know, going at it? Yeah? 64 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:45,425 She starts to laugh, but like...uncontrollably 65 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,561 Sharon!..... 66 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,529 You guys suck! 67 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,368 So sex makes Melissa happy 68 00:03:54,768 --> 00:04:00,774 No, no, no, no, no...no...we are way past happy This is psychotic. It's maniacal. It's like... 69 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,851 THAT'S what that is?! 70 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,656 Did you put the seat back up? Why do we suck? 71 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:20,561 Because,we all graduated together, yet I have to put on heels, which I hate; 72 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:27,734 and go out into the real world and sell chemicals, which I hate; while you two knuckleheads get to play golf...which I also hate 73 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,771 Yeah, but you make like a bazillion dollars! 74 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:38,946 Selling my soul! Look, if I close this deal today I make commission on 500 gallons of toxic cleaner I'm selling to some oil rig 75 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:46,086 So...I can enjoy a weekend at the Cape, while killing all sea life between here and Guam --ugh, I hate myself! 76 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,688 But you love your Beamer! 77 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,893 Hey, why don't you drop me off when you take Pete to class? 78 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,495 What, I'm taking Pete to class?? 79 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,497 That's perfect! Let's us be off, huh? 80 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,766 - Pete's breaking up with Melissa today. - Good! 81 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,935 - Good? You said liked her?! - Lied! 82 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,452 - So? - So? How'd she take it? 83 00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,387 I'd say pretty well. 84 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:20,821 You didn't do it 85 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:25,025 No.....but I made a lunch date to do it here 86 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:26,894 What are you doing? 87 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:36,003 Oh,oh...I've got everything planned out. The blue cards, why it's best for her; the yellows, why we should stay friends; and the pinks... 88 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:38,138 ..things to say when she starts to cry. 89 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,544 You know, this behavior reflects badly on both of us 90 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,483 Hey, Bill, you know I'm thinking it might be time to spring for some new cushions! 91 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:53,987 - Hmmm...good idea, and maybe some curtains, and a little paint job too - There ya go! 92 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,355 Yeah, maybe we should think up a new name, 93 00:05:55,622 --> 00:06:04,031 because I tell you what it won't be Beacon Street Pizza no more! It won't be the same place my daddy built! Here build your own damn place! 94 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,167 Good going Pete! 95 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:07,935 I didn't even-- 96 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,003 Ahhh! What's with him? 97 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,205 He breaking up with Melissa 98 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:12,973 What does he want to do that for? 99 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,175 He feels she's not 'The One' 100 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,311 Tell him to shut up 101 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,216 Hey Pete! I found you that article on Marlon Brando's trainer! 102 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:33,160 Thanks, Mr. Bauer.Why is he always bringing me things? 103 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:34,228 He loves you 104 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:39,166 He's delusional! He constantly telling me stories about his life that I know are from movies! 105 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:41,001 You don't *know* that 106 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:45,072 Berg, there was no way he was one of the Apple Dumpling Gang 107 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:47,909 Incoming... 108 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:51,411 Aw, Melissa...she wore her hair down 109 00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:55,582 I just want you to know I support you a hundred percent. Bill, it's starting! 110 00:06:56,116 --> 00:07:02,923 Hey! Hey sweetie! Hey Bill! Hi Mr. Bauer! Berg 111 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,793 My class made you cookies. 112 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:10,097 Aww..... 113 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:12,299 They shouldn't have 114 00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,536 They love you. 'Cause they know I love you 115 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,707 Melissa, you know how the lease is running out on Hong Kong? 116 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:20,874 Sure... 117 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:22,509 Well -- 118 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:29,583 Although there is that stipulation that China has to ensure the preservation of Hong Kong's way of life both socially and economically for at least another 50 years. 119 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:44,231 - Yeah. Of course - God, you're smart 120 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,360 So...Hong Kong's still gonna be Hong Kong? 121 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:48,268 -What are these? ...Ooh! Sorry! Are you okay? 122 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,536 Yeah, I was trying to hand them to you! 123 00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,208 Spilling the water? Bill, what do you make of that? 124 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,742 Take him out, he's done 125 00:07:57,377 --> 00:08:02,983 Bill, I don't believe we've seen the last of this *feisty* young girl from Wisconsin! 126 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,620 Don't talk into the food 127 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:07,988 Very smooth 128 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,190 Look, I can't do this with you guys leering! 129 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,263 I always leer. She'd be suspicious if I weren't leering 130 00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:20,100 -- she'd be like, 'Why isn't Berg leering?" Berg Leering...isn't that a type of Merlot? 131 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:27,274 Maybe it's a Cabernet... 3:10 -- starting to babble 132 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:33,180 Uh, Pete -- you'd better get back in there before Bauer steals your woman 133 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,719 I thought I told you no more experiments. They interfere with your work 134 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,021 This is harmless ! 135 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,990 Yeah, that's what you said when you couldn't get your sweat glands to stop 136 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,060 I had to follow you around with a mop! 137 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:55,569 The shark's coming right at me. And...I only have one bullet left. I think, 'Ohh, I'm a goner 138 00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:00,707 Then I see the oxygen tank in its mouth -- what do you think I do? 139 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,975 You shot the tank and the shark blew up! 140 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,277 I shot the tank! 141 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,380 And the shark blew up! 142 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,017 You're a brave man, Mr. Bauer 143 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,153 And then, you and Richard Dreyfuss swam back to shore. Thanks a lot, Mr. Bauer 144 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,323 Oh, that was a hell of a day! 145 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,561 You are a lucky guy 146 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,063 Yeah... 147 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:33,640 What is with you today? Is there something you want to tell me? 148 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:33,907 No... 149 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,844 Are you trying to break up with me? 150 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,214 NO! Not at all! Why, are we having problems? 151 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,648 No, you're just acting weird 152 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,017 Hey Berg, what have you done to him? 153 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,087 Hey, this one isn't me, 'cause I'm the one who said he shouldn't break up with you! 154 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:47,821 NO!!.. 155 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,593 - I don't believe you! - No, I wasn't! He's evil! 156 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:58,432 He may be evil, but at least he's honest!You're so...uh! Move! You're just so... 157 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:04,171 No, I don't want to hear it. The hell with you, life's short, Pete. See ya around 158 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:04,805 Melissa -- 159 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:12,679 Ten years from now -- when you're fat, and alone, and you have to wear a baseball cap at Club Med to hide your hair transplants; remember 160 00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:15,516 -- you had a good thing here and you blew it 161 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:24,291 I don't believe it! She broke up with me! I just got dumped 162 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,160 Boy, did you ever! 163 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,363 And in front of everybody, too! 164 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,070 So, did you get the account? 165 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:42,075 Yep. One more client for me, one less species of bird 166 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,114 Sharon, if you don't like it, quit 167 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,750 Life's a waste unless you're doing what you love 168 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,954 You're right. I mean, I can do anything I want! I'm smart! 169 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:54,822 Absolutely right 170 00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,723 - I'm motivated! - Yes, you are. 171 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,424 I'm a people person! 172 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,493 I gotta go back and count my pepperonis 173 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,863 I am! Aren't I Berg? 174 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:04,631 Sharon?... 175 00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:10,270 You're a lot of things, but people person? It's goes the Unabomber, then you. 176 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,106 - Hey... - No! 177 00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,576 That's why we love you 178 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,019 - how was the delivery? - Fine 179 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,356 - Traffic? - Not bad 180 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:31,859 The toppings slide? 181 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:33,794 Little bit 182 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,932 Gees, you two fight like a couple of broads! Kick his ass, Pete! 183 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,468 I can't...he's wearing my shirt 184 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,172 I can't believe you're mad at me 185 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:50,644 -- isn't that what you wanted? I mean, one minute you're gonna to break up with her, the next minute she breaks up with you 186 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,113 And you flip out 187 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,315 He has a point 188 00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:57,384 Berg, you should've just minded your own damn business 189 00:11:57,418 --> 00:11:58,752 Ah, he's gotcha there! 190 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,489 I mean, when she walked out of here, I had an epiphany 191 00:12:03,457 --> 00:12:07,761 I mean, how many Melissas are there in the world?? What's wrong with me?? 192 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:15,302 I'll tell you what's wrong with you, okay? You keep saying Melissa's not 'The One", when in reality you know she is 'The One', and you're scared to death of it 193 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,337 Ding, ding, ding! Berg wins! 194 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:20,874 All right...cover for me... 195 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:21,942 Where are you going? 196 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:25,312 Over to Melissa's to blame the whole thing on you -- if there's anything she'll believe, it's that. 197 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,446 Uh, no she won't 198 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:27,014 Why not? 199 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,784 Right now, if I'm little miss "Yippie, I get summers off!" 200 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:42,996 I'm thinking...'maybe I over-reacted'. Then you come through the door blaming it all on Berg, which says to me that you did in fact want to break up and you need your buddy to do it for you. 201 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:46,900 Thank you so much. Thank you so much for destroying my future 202 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,138 Future-killer! 203 00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,809 You know, I was in love once... 204 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:02,015 ...we shared a flat in France. Then the war came -- all hell broke loose 205 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:13,327 when she walked back into my life......but by then she was married 206 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,964 Don't do what I did, son...don't let her get on that plane!! 207 00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:22,970 It's okay, Mr. Bauer 208 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,805 you'll always have Paris 209 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,476 Pete, delivery 210 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:33,881 Let me take this one...I want to see if I can operate heavy machinery 211 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:35,516 Fine 212 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:39,286 I'll just assume the "Drive Safe" is implied 213 00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,631 Berg 214 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,666 Thank you, I'd love to 215 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,771 So, let me guess he sent you to make up with me? 216 00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:00,040 He doesn't know I'm here... 217 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,643 ...ooh! Oranges! 218 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:03,911 Why are you here? 219 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,948 Look, Mel...I'm no expert on relationships -- 220 00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:08,982 This just in 221 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:14,087 But I am an expert on Pete. Okay? And sometimes, he just gets a little confused, is alll 222 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,989 Give the guy a break -- I mean, I'm the one who blew it 223 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,229 -That's right! I feel better when you guys are together -Give me a break, Berg! 224 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,832 I do! It makes my best friend happy 225 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,938 Look...you know like in tag -- where's that place where you're safe, where they can't get you? 226 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,942 - Home base? - Home base. Pete is my home base 227 00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:38,912 I mean, I wouldn't get to be me, if he wasn't him 228 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,752 And someday, I hope I'll find someone like you 229 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,020 And when I blow it... 230 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,623 which I will... 231 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:54,461 I know he'll go over and make her realize that there's something here worth saving 232 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,999 Wow...I've never known you to be so open 233 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:00,234 Me neither... 234 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,805 - oh, God... - What? 235 00:15:07,808 --> 00:15:15,149 7:48 -- having used...800 times the recommended daily dosage 236 00:15:15,449 --> 00:15:20,154 Now experiencing a side effect, feeling extremely honest and uh, forthright 237 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,425 I've never more afraid in my life 238 00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,529 Berg, this has sodium penathate in it 239 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:33,066 - Truth serum - So...you have to tell the truth? 240 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,169 Noo....yeah. Wooo! 241 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:36,403 Ha!!! 242 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,206 Last Wednesday, when Pete was supposed to take me to the gallery opening? 243 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:40,207 I've gotta go 244 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,911 And he called me and told me that you had an allergic reaction to shellfish and had to rushed to the hospital? 245 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,913 We were at the dog track 246 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:50,918 And last week, when he couldn't make it to my cousin's engagement party because you guys were collecting toys for the orphanage? 247 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,987 - We were playing Pop-n-Shot at O'Malley's - I knew it! 248 00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:58,892 You have to understand -- it was for the World Championship of all ...time! 249 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:02,095 Hm, hm, hm... 250 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,499 What does he tell you about me ? 251 00:16:05,499 --> 00:16:07,701 - Everything -Like what, everything? 252 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,738 Like the first time he saw you, he said he actually felt his heart stop 253 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:13,574 Really? 254 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:19,813 And you...do a phenomenal Linda Rondstat imitation 255 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:21,715 Aww...Pete! 256 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,220 And he hates sushi... 257 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,756 ...but goes with you all the time because he knows you love it 258 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,226 Why didn't he say anything?! 259 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,663 And you laugh like a mad scientist during sex! 260 00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,007 I did a bad thing... 261 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,077 Who, Berg...who did you do a bad thing to? 262 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:55,516 Yes!... 263 00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,718 God, Berg, what more could you have done to me today?! 264 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,122 Please, do not tell me you went over to Melissa's... 265 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:03,991 Aw, Berg! 266 00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:08,295 I didn't want you blaming me for screwing up the rest of your life, so I went over there to get your guys back together! 267 00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:11,465 And?! And she *never* wants to speak you again! 268 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,604 - Berg, what did you tell her? - Everything 269 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:22,776 It wasn't me -- it was the asthma inhaler. It had side effects it's like a truth serum 270 00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:24,311 Berg, what did you tell her?! 271 00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:28,382 I...I told where you really were last Saturday 272 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,051 Oh, God... I told her about the laughing... 273 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,019 You WHAT?! 274 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,687 You know, when you guys have sex? 275 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,191 She laughs like a crazy lady in an attic 276 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,526 God, so THAT'S what that is! 277 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:46,633 - Do you still have to tell the truth? - I'm not sure. Ask me if I like your hair this way 278 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:51,872 - Do you like my hair this way? - Yes. Very much.It wore off 279 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:57,177 Berg, my life is not one of your experiments -- just leave it alone! 280 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:06,420 - You know, I'm starting to feel *way* underappreciated here - Go! 281 00:18:07,054 --> 00:18:07,621 Cover for me 282 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:12,659 - Yeah, there's about as much chance of me wearing this thing as - - - Ah-ah-ah, hey! People person! 283 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:17,998 - Excuse me -- can I see a menu? - It's a pizza place! 284 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:22,336 What are you doing out here? Did you come to push me into traffic? 285 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,908 - I don't like you being mad at me - I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me 286 00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:33,714 Berg, I'm gonna be 25 and I don't even know where my life is -- and the one good thing I had, I messed up! 287 00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:41,655 When my dad was my age, he had a house, he had a wife, he had me! I mean, what do I have? 288 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,459 You have the ability to suck the life out of an evening! 289 00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:54,168 There's no...there's no blueprint for life! Okay, first it's miosis -- out of the womb, snip 290 00:18:54,701 --> 00:19:01,341 Then you get a big ol' aneurysm and you slump over your desk Okay, everything in between just happens, Pete....enjoy it 291 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:07,648 Berg, I'm not like you, all right? I don't find pearls when I eat oysters 292 00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:13,287 I can't learn Russian in three days from a book called 'How To Learn Russian In Three Days" 293 00:19:14,288 --> 00:19:15,556 I wish I could, but I can't 294 00:19:15,923 --> 00:19:17,124 That's why you have me 295 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:21,528 - Are you gonna have my children? - There *is* an experiment at MIT next week 296 00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:33,140 What if I wind up alone? 297 00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:41,949 What if I wind up alone, hanging out in some pizza place, telling anyone who will listen to me about the time I plowed under my cornfield and built a baseball diamond? 298 00:19:43,484 --> 00:19:45,085 Listen to me, okay? 299 00:19:45,719 --> 00:19:49,389 Everything's gonna work out, all right?...you'll have the wife and the kid it's there 300 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:52,226 You just can't see around that turn yet 301 00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:53,760 How can you be so sure? 302 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:56,363 'Cause I know. It has to 303 00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:00,067 If my life doesn't work out I'm coming to live with you 304 00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:02,870 You heard me 305 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:04,738 Fine! 306 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,383 Berg, what do you think is gonna happen to Sharon? 307 00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,085 I'm sure she'll settle down, have kids... 308 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,754 Get your butts back in here! 309 00:20:21,229 --> 00:20:22,856 Or take over Cuba 310 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:29,496 I didn't even get a tip! 311 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,535 You told a customer to shut up or you'd bash his head in with a shovel! 312 00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:38,138 Well, he kept *waving* at me! 313 00:20:40,374 --> 00:20:42,776 Oh, how long does it take to make up with somebody? 314 00:20:43,544 --> 00:20:44,511 Relax... 315 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,181 Hey, hey! 316 00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:52,019 - So how'd it go? - Eh, go figure -- Melissa and I are going to try and work things out 317 00:20:52,553 --> 00:20:54,388 Great! I've always liked her 318 00:20:58,659 --> 00:21:01,795 C'mon --I think what we need here is some Pop-n- Shot at O'Malley's 319 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,031 - Oh, no, I can't - Sharon's buying 320 00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:06,099 'Cause I'm a people person! 321 00:21:07,501 --> 00:21:10,637 I told Melissa I'd go back over with a video 322 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,339 - Go back over? - Mmm-hmmm 323 00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:16,343 Not in your condition Look at him 324 00:21:16,677 --> 00:21:19,880 -Oooh... all clammy and yellow... - No, guys.. 325 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:23,117 Food poisoning! Hits you like that! 326 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,118 -Guys... - We'll call from the bar 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 28109

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