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1
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:14,480
When these people came to me and said,
"We should like to make a film of your life,"
2
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,680
I said, "Yes, do. Films are fantasies.
3
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,600
"Films are magical illusions.
4
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:27,480
"You can make my life a fantasy,
as I have tried, but failed to make it."
5
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,400
But then they said,
"We want the film to be real.
6
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,040
"You know, real life."
7
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:39,720
So I said, "Any film, even the worst,
is at least better than real life."
8
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,880
Then they said, "Though, of course
we should have to have an actor to play you."
9
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,200
I said, "I have spent 66 years on this earth,
10
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,440
"painfully attempting to play the part
of Quentin Crisp.
11
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,800
"I have not succeeded.
12
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,480
"Yes, of course you must have an actor
to play me.
13
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,400
"He will do it far better than I have done."
14
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:08,040
And then they said, "We shall want
to show you when you were young."
15
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:14,320
And I said, "If I might suggest
one image for your film..."
16
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,920
Quentin! Breakfast!
17
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,520
Do you intend to spend your entire life
admiring yourself?
18
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,520
If I possibly can.
19
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,080
Are you keen on this girl, then, Quentin?
20
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,520
- Keen?
- Yes.
21
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,240
Good God, no! She's a friend.
22
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,360
I mean, friendship exists.
I don't think anything else does.
23
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,640
I think all this thing between men and women
is something invented by novelists.
24
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,000
- Love?
- Because that's what people want to believe.
25
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,200
Have you ever felt love? Honestly?
26
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:37,080
- I haven't.
- Your son's not one of those, is he, Hilda?
27
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,240
- One of what?
- One of those who don't love women.
28
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,120
That's just my point. I don't think anyone does.
29
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:53,400
- I've been over him. Perfectly normal.
- It's just that he's so terribly listless.
30
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,760
What he wants is a good boot up the bottom.
31
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,800
- No.
- If you ask my advice,
32
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,720
what he needs is a practical lesson
in the facts of life.
33
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,120
I had already discovered for myself
one fact of life,
34
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,280
the only fact I've ever fully understood.
35
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,880
I have a message for those who, like me,
inhabit a world of make-believe.
36
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,760
- What did you do this morning?
- A poster.
37
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,520
- What of?
- Coty's Ashes of Roses.
38
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,400
I always make my posters madly exotic,
even if it's only to annoy Mr. Barker.
39
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,920
Did it?
40
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:35,720
Crisp, why do you suppose
you are an art student?
41
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,560
And you said?
42
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,360
Because it is the last door
43
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,360
through which my parents think
they can push me into the outer world.
44
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,720
The outer world is a club I do not wish to join.
45
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,880
Hello, ducky!
46
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,440
Hello, there.
47
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,320
And then I stumbled on the very truth
that was just what the doctor had ordered.
48
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,160
Could I... trouble you for a light?
49
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,400
Thank you... so much.
50
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:43,400
'Dilly's dead tonight, isn't it?
Been here an hour now, not a thing.
51
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,640
Except two policemen,
disguised as human beings.
52
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,000
Well, you're not going to be much good to me,
now, are you?
53
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,200
- No.
- Oh, well...
54
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,600
C'est la vie, I suppose.
55
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,320
- Shall we have a cup of coffee?
- Yes.
56
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,680
I learned
that I was not the only one in the world.
57
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,920
No roughs in tonight, thank heavens.
They get on my tits.
58
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,320
- Hello, girls.
- Hello.
59
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,680
- May I introduce Quentin?
- Quentin? That's something new.
60
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,280
Gloria Swanson, and hasn't she got a nerve?
61
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,680
How do you do?
62
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,080
- And Bermondsey Liz.
- How do you do?
63
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,560
- How do you do?
- Albert, ducky, two of your dreadful coffees.
64
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,080
Two coffees. Right.
65
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,400
- Any luck tonight?
- Three, so far.
66
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,360
- Must be foggy in Dean Street.
- Ooh, you are a bitch. Really!
67
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,280
Trust me, I got a thrasher. My dear!
68
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,280
- Funny how they find you.
- Ooh!
69
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,480
- Are you on the game?
- I...
70
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,440
- Am I...
- If you don't know what it means,
71
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,800
you can't be.
72
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,600
Is he... so?
73
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,840
Oh, he's so, all right.
74
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,680
Like to try it?
75
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,400
Thank you.
76
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,080
So I learned yet another fact of life.
77
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,920
Quentin! Breakfast!
78
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,360
Morning.
79
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,720
Don't put so much butter on your toast.
80
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,760
So sorry.
81
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,240
Well, are you going out to look for a job?
82
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,240
I suppose I might.
83
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,160
Your trouble is you look like a male whore.
84
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:38,120
It was the first acknowledgement my father
had ever made of any part of my problem.
85
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,400
My heart throbbed with gratitude.
86
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,680
- Well, I'm off, then.
- Father?
87
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,720
- Mm?
- I shall be leaving here soon.
88
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,560
And I promise you faithfully
that I shall try not to come back.
89
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,920
- Darling, he wants someone more my age.
- And what's that?
90
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,760
- 18.
- Ooh, you're 21 if you're a day.
91
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,880
- You're past it now.
- No, honestly.
92
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,920
Ooh, that hurt.
93
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,680
- How do you know? It's only a wig.
- It's all my own.
94
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,760
Wait till they touch you with hair like that.
You'd get years, dear. You'd get years!
95
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,000
I am 18 last March.
96
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,680
All right, come on, out, the lot of you. Out.
97
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,160
- Oh, dear, aren't we behaving?
- Two hours here and one cup of coffee.
98
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,640
What do you think this is,
a four-course banquet?
99
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,720
Now, come on. Either you order again or out.
100
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:33,960
Oh, well, I suppose
we'd better go where we're wanted.
101
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,360
The great thing about following
an obvious homosexual
102
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,480
is that you can't possibly be wrong.
103
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,680
He will certainly do whatever you want,
104
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,160
and he will certainly not run screaming
to the police.
105
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,400
Courtship in such cases
consists of the words...
106
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,680
How much?
107
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,960
- Seven and six.
- All right.
108
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,640
And the only words of tenderness
ever uttered to me...
109
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,680
This'll do.
110
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,840
- They give me a lot. I give them very little.
- Is it very little?
111
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,320
The briefest possible moment.
They're much too scared of the police.
112
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,560
And seven and six. Sometimes ten shillings.
113
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,520
Once or twice, an actual pound note.
114
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,240
What do you really give them, these men?
115
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:39,240
I give them the opportunity
to vent their contempt on other people.
116
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,680
- To defile someone else.
- Yes.
117
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,320
I suppose it's logical.
I abuse them, they defile me.
118
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,400
I am an effeminate homosexual.
119
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,480
I want to win the admiration,
120
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,160
I want to be found desirable
by a great, dark man.
121
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,080
- Yes.
- But what proof have I that I'm desired?
122
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,560
No great, dark man is going to come up to me
and say, "Quentin, I adore you.
123
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,240
"Your eyes are like stars
and your lips are like roses."
124
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:09,560
- No.
- A ten-shilling note is proof.
125
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,360
A proof I understand.
126
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,560
I think that everything that happens to us
is our fault.
127
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,640
But that's not our fault.
128
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,080
Just a minute.
129
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,640
Advice to my friends.
130
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,960
- We've been watching you.
- Oh, yes?
131
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,720
May we ask what you're doing in this street?
132
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:06,040
I'm on my way to the Black Cat Cafe
to have a light supper with friends.
133
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,920
- Where are you from?
- High Wycombe.
134
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,280
That's a long way to come to the Black Cat,
isn't it?
135
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,760
Oh, Mr. Bremner of the Black Cat
serves a very good light supper.
136
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,200
High Wycombe, eh?
137
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,920
I'd be delighted to give you the address.
My father's a solicitor.
138
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:29,080
- Does he know you're a pansy?
- A dirty, stinking little pansy?
139
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,280
You're a pansy, aren't you?
140
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:36,080
Pansy? What's that, apart from being a flower?
141
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,720
- Listen, can I give you a word of advice?
- Yes, Constable.
142
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,600
The only men
who would go with young chaps like you...
143
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,640
Yes, Constable?
144
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,480
.. are men suffering
from what is known as venereal disease.
145
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:54,440
- You know what that is, do you?
- I've heard of it, Constable.
146
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,120
Because they would be ashamed
to give it to a woman.
147
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,680
They say they're trying to stop it.
148
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,080
They should see what I've seen
at reform school.
149
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,080
- I bet you reformed a lot of boys.
- I certainly did.
150
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,040
Why can't they leave us alone?
Do we do any harm?
151
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,200
We provide a very special public service.
152
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,280
I think it's simply because
they don't understand.
153
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,920
People hate what they don't understand.
154
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,720
- The roughs are coming!
- Oh, my gawd!
155
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,520
- Quick!
- Come on, out.
156
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,280
- Hello, girls.
- You're not leaving, are you?
157
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,160
- We come here special to see you.
- Now look, I don't want no trouble.
158
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,000
We ain't making any trouble.
159
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,320
- We come for a cup of tea, didn't we?
- Yes.
160
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,280
They're gonna buy us a cup of tea.
161
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,040
You're gonna buy us a cup of tea, in't you?
162
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,080
Oh, go on, darlings.
163
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,960
I thought it was for the gentlemen
to buy the drinks.
164
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,960
Well, we're not gentlemen, see?
We come from Hoxton.
165
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,200
I thought even in Hoxton
they knew how to treat a lady.
166
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,120
You're pretty, in't you?
167
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,040
Yes, I am.
168
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,560
- Give us your hand, then.
- What for?
169
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,560
I want to hold your hand.
170
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,800
Oh, what a little one, eh?
171
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,640
- Lovely little hand!
- Yes.
172
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,120
I'd like to squeeze it.
173
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,280
Do you like that? You like it, don't you?
174
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,120
Do you love me?
175
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,520
I said, don't you love me?
176
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,840
- Are you gonna buy me a cup of tea?
- I...
177
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,200
'Ere, he's gonna buy me a cup of tea.
178
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:35,400
All right, then, whisper in me ear.
Tell me you love me.
179
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:42,240
Why don't you sod off back to Hoxton
before they find out you're queer?
180
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,840
You...!
181
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,840
Well, I seemed to have hit on a home truth.
182
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,280
And of course...
183
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,040
On a relatively quiet night in the Black Cat,
184
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,920
I met Thumbnails.
185
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,400
As a result, at the age of 22, in 1930,
186
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,840
I kept my promise to my father.
187
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,400
I left home. Forever.
188
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,320
What did you say his name was?
189
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,400
Thumbnails.
190
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:32,880
I just call him Thumbnails.
They are appalling.
191
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,400
- Dirty?
- No.
192
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,760
The wrong shape.
193
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,280
Why? I mean, why him?
194
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,320
- He has a flat.
- No other reason?
195
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,080
No. We're not lovers.
196
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:50,720
- I doubt if we're even friends.
- He's not the great, dark man?
197
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:54,280
He is most absolutely, definitely,
198
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,320
positively not the great, dark man.
199
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,920
Well, you might at least do some tidying up
during the day.
200
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,960
You're here all day.
201
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,800
I said, you might at least do some tidying up.
202
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,880
What did you get for supper?
203
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,000
Quentin? What did you buy for supper?
204
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,080
I couldn't see anything in the kitchen.
205
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,400
Quentin, what...?
206
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,160
You'd look a lot better
if you didn't put all that stuff on your face.
207
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:31,160
You don't need to,
it can't be good for your skin.
208
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:36,920
Now, look at actresses. They get terrible rough
skins with all the stuff they have to put on.
209
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,800
You ought to get out during the day
and get some exercise.
210
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,280
You'll be flabby by the time you're 30,
you know that.
211
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,560
You'll look terrible when you're old,
the life you lead.
212
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,760
Really terrible.
213
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,080
Now, what are you going to do today
while I'm out at work?
214
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:02,480
I shall experiment with a new eye shadow.
215
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,640
You don't have to look like a woman.
Now, why do you try?
216
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,480
- I'm rather glad...
- Please.
217
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,960
I'm rather glad you couldn't get a taxi.
I've never been in a bus before.
218
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,520
Isn't it fun?
219
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,240
- Fares, please.
- Two to Piccadilly Circus.
220
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,640
Does one tip the conductor?
221
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,680
Nothing happened.
222
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,640
I'm not a woman. I don't want to be a woman.
223
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,560
I happen to be a fully formed male person
who happens to be attracted to other men.
224
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,920
- That's all.
- Do you wish you weren't?
225
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000
I regard all heterosexuals, however low,
226
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,200
as infinitely superior to any homosexual,
however noble.
227
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,800
- You don't mean that.
- Well, as infinitely luckier.
228
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,200
It's always better to be
a member of the majority.
229
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,240
- Can we go to the zoo?
- Yes.
230
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,760
Do you think a homosexual elephant
has a terrible time of it?
231
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,640
I know what happens to animals
who have a leg like mine.
232
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,880
Your problem can be seen with the naked eye.
Mine cannot.
233
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,240
The world is full of aborigines who don't
even realise that homosexuality exists.
234
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,360
I shall go about the routine of daily living
235
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,680
making this particular fact
abundantly clear to them.
236
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,520
# Hip hip hooray
237
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,080
Ooh!
238
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,080
Come in.
239
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,560
I have an appointment with Mr. Dunsmore.
240
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,320
My name is Crisp. Quentin Crisp.
241
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,760
Erm...
242
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:37,600
I erm... I take it that you have had
some erm... experience?
243
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,360
I attended Battersea Art School,
though without actually learning anything.
244
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,840
And I worked for some time in a drawing office
as a tracer.
245
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,000
Yes, well, erm...
246
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,280
I gather that your mother...
247
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,760
is the friend of the wife of one of our directors.
248
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,800
Yes, that's right.
249
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,800
May I... May I ask
how you got the job as a tracer?
250
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,440
- Well, my mother was...
- Ah, yes. Yes.
251
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,680
Well...
252
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,440
I became a commercial artist.
253
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:22,480
This enabled me to leave Thumbnails
and take a room of my own.
254
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,560
My existence blossomed.
255
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,360
My darling, a lioness
would be proud of those nails!
256
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,400
A little drink.
257
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,120
Hello, my darling.
258
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:38,520
Liberated in my new flat,
I could invite my friends.
259
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,840
The nice art student, of course,
260
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,720
and a Polish gentleman
with an unpronounceable name.
261
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,440
And his wife, who'd once sat for Epstein.
262
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,160
Or was it Augustus John?
263
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:54,480
I should explain that Poland is not so much
a country as a disturbed state of mind.
264
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,160
Ah, Quentin!
265
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,320
What do you think this extraordinary wife
of mine says to me yesterday?
266
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,120
- He pawned my gramophone.
- Oh, I pawned her gramophone.
267
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,520
- Without telling me.
- Oh, but she is mad.
268
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,640
If I had told her, she would have prevented me.
269
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,080
- Of course I would!
- I pawned the gramophone to buy meat.
270
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,480
To bring to my friend, Quentin.
271
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,080
I shall now go into my friend Quentin's kitchen
272
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,160
and make a famous Polish national dish!
273
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,920
Does he know anything about cooking?
274
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,640
- Not a thing.
- I'll give him a hand.
275
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,440
- Can I help you?
- But you are not Polish.
276
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,720
I think you and he invented the vie de boheme.
277
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,400
- You are happy tonight.
- This week, I earned two pounds ten shillings.
278
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:46,520
And I have, for some time now,
completely and absolutely given up sex.
279
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,840
You've no idea of the energy you feel.
280
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,040
I don't want... energy.
281
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,840
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
282
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,800
Oh, balls, Quentin!
283
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,360
Well, you live in the secure world of normality.
284
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,360
I live hanging on a rotten rope over an abyss.
285
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:07,480
On an actuarial basis, the expectation
of happiness in an effeminate queer...
286
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,360
Darling, see if he's got my cigarettes,
would you?
287
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,880
Of course.
288
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:24,160
Until now, I had regarded other people
only as reflections of my own existence,
289
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,440
as an audience for my own problem.
290
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,200
Now I saw two of them
in violent relation to each other.
291
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,240
For the first time, I was forced to admit
that other people existed.
292
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,080
- Yeah, I have.
- You have?
293
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,480
Oh, thank you, darling.
How's the Polish national dish?
294
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,120
Oh... Coming along nicely.
295
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:52,480
The trouble with living in Clerkenwell
was getting back to my room at night.
296
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,600
When you're being followed,
there are a number of rules to obey.
297
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,080
Oi!
298
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,480
Who the hell do you think you are?
299
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,080
No one, really... sir.
300
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,440
May I...?
301
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,160
.. then you're unlucky.
302
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,000
However, you can be even unluckier.
303
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,920
- Here, have a look at him!
- Oi, oi!
304
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,240
That's something else!
305
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,440
Oi, come here. Let's have a look at you.
306
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,840
Lovely, eh!
307
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,120
- Come on.
- Here, you.
308
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,720
- Evening, gentlemen.
- Look at the barnet!
309
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,240
- Yeah, it's dyed.
- It is dyed, innit?
310
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,960
- He's got make-up on.
- Here, what you got make-up on for, eh?
311
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,680
- Look at his nails. He's a woman.
- No, he ain't.
312
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,720
- He's a geezer.
- Have a feel!
313
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,440
I felt it! I found it!
314
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:34,280
Gentlemen, if I may speak for a moment,
allow me to reassure you that...
315
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,120
Taxi!
316
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,160
17 Morton Street, please.
317
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,800
17 Morton Street, please.
318
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,000
Could you please take me to 17 Morton Street?
319
00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:01,640
I'd be very grateful if you could take me
to my home, which is 17 Morton Street.
320
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,640
Out.
321
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,720
Out!
322
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,080
Out.
323
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,040
'Ere. Come here, you. We want you.
324
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,240
- Come on!
- Get him lads!
325
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,400
I seem to have annoyed you gentlemen
in some way.
326
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,840
Come in.
327
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:41,000
- You wanted to see me, sir?
- Yes, I think I made the right choice.
328
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,040
Sha... Shall we erm...
Shall we make it this one?
329
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,480
Yes, erm... This one, I think.
330
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,600
- Don't you?
- Yes.
331
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,280
Well, there's something to be said
for the English.
332
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,040
What other nation would look at my face
and not utter a single word?
333
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,640
The English, huh!
They are all concealed homosexuals.
334
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,320
- Well, you're certainly not English.
- Thank God!
335
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,920
Why don't you go and live in Paris
where nobody cares?
336
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,440
There you can dress as you like,
do your face as you like.
337
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,680
- I don't believe in abroad. They're such cheats.
- How, cheats?
338
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,920
I believe they speak English behind our backs
when we're not listening.
339
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,920
I don't believe in abroad, either.
340
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,720
The English will never cease to believe
that sex is disgusting.
341
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,240
Unlike the Poles, who...
342
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,600
And that your kind of sex
is the most disgusting of all.
343
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:38,840
But it's my crusade. It's the reason
for my existence, to make them understand.
344
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,480
You are exhibitionist, my friend.
345
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,240
An exhibitionist has no friends.
346
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,040
No friends at all.
347
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:50,080
Certainly no friends among my own kind.
348
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:54,240
# And when I told them
349
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,560
# How beautiful you are
350
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,960
# They didn't believe me
351
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,520
# They didn't believe me... #
352
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,520
- God, it's Quentin.
- You don't want to be seen with her, dear.
353
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,200
She's a dead giveaway.
354
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,400
#.. or change your hair
355
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,560
# You're in a class beyond compare... #
356
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,600
A small Guinness, please.
357
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:24,640
#.. that one could see
358
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:29,440
# And when I tell them... #
359
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,600
- Quentin.
- Hello.
360
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,680
May I ask, did anyone see you coming in here?
361
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,840
Not so far as I'm aware.
362
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,920
Would you make sure
that no one sees you leaving?
363
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,960
If you wish.
364
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,720
You mean you'd like me to go?
365
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,000
Look, ducky, you're spoiling it for the others.
366
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:59,520
You mean like a consumptive with a cough
spoils the fun of tuberculosis?
367
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,200
Quentin, ducky, if the police come in,
we're all normal.
368
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,920
With you here, everyone in court
and me, six months in jail.
369
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,520
And you don't want to be a martyr to the cause.
370
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,320
Quentin, may I see your membership card,
please?
371
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,840
I think I have it.
372
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,560
What cause?
373
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,600
We're normal.
374
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,600
I had a number of normal friends.
375
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,200
But what is normal?
376
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,760
Cocoa.
377
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,640
Quentin... I love you.
378
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,880
- Oh, my darling, you do realize...
- I don't care.
379
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,440
Yes, well, I...
380
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,640
All I can possibly offer any woman
is a beautiful friendship.
381
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,440
That's what I want.
382
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,000
Well, that's all right, then.
383
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,640
I don't care about sex.
384
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,840
It doesn't matter, does it?
385
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,640
It doesn't matter
to those to whom it doesn't matter.
386
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,960
I just want to be near you. All the time.
387
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:18,000
- In a world of non-sexual bliss.
- Yes.
388
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,240
And we'll hold hands and read poetry,
389
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,160
and you-know-what
will never rear its ugly head.
390
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,360
- Mmm.
- That is your dream.
391
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,400
Shall I tell you mine?
392
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,640
I dream of a great, dark man, a real man,
393
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,720
enormously strong, enormously virile,
whose love I shall win.
394
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,920
I know that my dream
is doomed to disappointment.
395
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,880
If I succeed, I fail.
396
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,080
If I win the love of a man,
he cannot be a real man,
397
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,280
and the more feminine I make myself
to attract a real man,
398
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,520
the less will a real man be attracted by me.
399
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,120
A dream is only a dream.
400
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,800
There is no great, dark man.
401
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,440
I don't care.
402
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,000
- I love you, Quentin.
- And your dream is as hopeless as mine.
403
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:16,440
If you go on like this, you'll finish up with yoga,
vegetarianism or religion, or God knows what.
404
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,320
Yes, well, I erm...
405
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,960
I'm afraid...
406
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,040
Skipping lightly over the fact
that I'd lost my job,
407
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:33,440
not because I was queer,
simply because it was those bleak 1930s,
408
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,960
we arrive at the time when I lodged with,
of all things, a teacher of ballet.
409
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:43,160
Make your movements bold.
Make your chest alive.
410
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:47,480
Let your arms flow, boldly, boldly.
411
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,920
I myself contributed to the school
by teaching tap-dancing.
412
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,800
This I managed by taking lessons myself
and keeping one jump ahead.
413
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,280
No, no. More like this.
414
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:05,400
There!
415
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,720
It was at this time, I'm sorry to say,
416
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,800
that sex re-entered my life.
417
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,840
Cold, tonight.
418
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,640
Yes.
419
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,040
I see the forecast's good, though.
420
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,280
Oh, is it?
421
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,600
Well...
422
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,160
Well?
423
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,760
I must be getting home.
424
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,800
I do understand.
425
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,920
Would you like a cup of tea?
426
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:17,080
It's very nice of you,
but my mother will be expecting me.
427
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,320
Oh, yes. Well...
428
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,760
Shall we meet again?
429
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,040
Oh God, what for?
430
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,880
If you like.
431
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:45,120
Thereby condemning myself
to three or four years of dismalness.
432
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:48,680
There!
433
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,160
Mm-hm?
434
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,080
- Quentin, two people to see you.
- Oh, yes?
435
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,600
I'm afraid they're the police.
436
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,480
Thank you, madam.
437
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,760
Mr Crisp?
438
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,480
Yes?
439
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,560
We've called, sir,
in consequence of complaints.
440
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,560
- Oh, yes?
- From your neighbors.
441
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,640
Who say they can see in through your window.
442
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,960
I expect they can. It's a big window.
443
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,040
At night.
444
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,800
Apparently,
you don't always close your curtains.
445
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,760
- I very rarely close my curtains.
- Why is that, sir?
446
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,640
Well, it never occurs to me
that the neighbors would want to look in.
447
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,720
- Well, I gather, sir, they can see your bed.
- Quite easily.
448
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,680
Well, I mean, they wouldn't need a telescope.
449
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,880
And sometimes, people on your bed.
450
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,000
Oh, yes?
451
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,640
Are you aware of the laws in this country
relating to what goes on in private?
452
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:50,720
- To which particular law do you refer?
- You know as well as I do.
453
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,000
The neighbors aren't willing to give evidence
or he'd have arrested me already.
454
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,440
Things go on in this house for which
the penalty is seven years' imprisonment.
455
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:04,640
In that case, whatever they are, I must make
quite sure that they never happen again.
456
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,400
You'd bloody better!
457
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,040
Oh, my God! Draw the curtains.
458
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,800
What do you think they saw?
459
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,600
Possibly, you kissing me.
460
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:21,080
- Oh, no!
- Now they can't see a thing. Neither can I.
461
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,720
- No chinks?
- Not even a Japanese gentleman.
462
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:31,000
I hope you look pained.
That was one of my most terrible jokes.
463
00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:37,280
- You see, I'm a civil servant.
- I had imagined you were.
464
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:41,360
- In the Ministry of...
- No, please don't tell me. I have no curiosity.
465
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,400
But you see, my job does depend on...
466
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:47,320
Of course. And the King wouldn't like it.
467
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,720
Not to speak of the little princesses.
468
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,360
If you decide
not to come and see me anymore,
469
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,840
I shall quite understand.
470
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,800
Life was not all dreariness.
471
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,640
Vintage champagne! It is a party.
472
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,800
To celebrate our divorce.
473
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,800
Lovely!
474
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:22,440
We come straight from the court,
where your wonderful British justice was done.
475
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,160
Congratulations. Congratulations, darling.
476
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,520
- Thank you, darling.
- I'm an adulterer.
477
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:32,200
So my wife is taken from me! Marvelous!
478
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:34,440
Do I congratulate everyone?
479
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,480
Oh, I think so, don't you?
480
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,360
- Congratulations, dear.
- Thank you.
481
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,040
Everyone must drink to divorce,
482
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,080
the noblest of institutions!
483
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:46,560
To divorce!
484
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,640
And then, we go in the school room
with the music, and we dance.
485
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:53,920
- A ballet.
- Aha! A beautiful ballet.
486
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:58,200
# La da da, da daa da da daaa!
487
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,200
- Darling, I want you to meet...
- How do you do?
488
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:04,600
- How do you do?
- One of my dearest, absolute dearest...
489
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,840
- Delighted to meet you.
- We're going to be married.
490
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,600
- Well, once again! More...
- More champagne.
491
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,760
He's terribly sweet, and terribly rich.
492
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,640
I'm so glad.
You can buy yourself a new gramophone.
493
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,000
Quentin! You must not embrace her.
494
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,520
She is my ex-wife, not yours.
495
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:30,160
Darling, come and dance,
for the lovely, lovely last time.
496
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,480
An English dance, not Polish.
497
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,480
I've finished with Poles.
498
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,440
Will you marry?
499
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,400
Just go on living with him.
500
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:50,520
Quite right. Marriage is for those
who've given up the struggle.
501
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,160
- Quick, what's his name?
- Lord Alcohol.
502
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,160
- What?
- More champagne?
503
00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,520
- Marvelous!
- Good party, eh?
504
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,680
- I hope the neighbors can see.
- Oh, why?
505
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,680
A divorce celebration.
What could be more normal than that?
506
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,320
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
507
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,320
For all I knew,
we might be in for a very thin time.
508
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,920
- Quentin, dear.
- Hello.
509
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,040
Did you hear that funny wailing sound
this morning? What on earth was it?
510
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,640
Quentin, I think I'll be leaving here.
511
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,160
In fact, I shall. I am going to leave.
512
00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,520
Yes, of course.
513
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,320
The men must learn a different dance.
514
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,320
But what about you?
515
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,640
I shall find a new landlady,
not half as angelic as you.
516
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,360
Would you like...
517
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:56,160
- But would it help...
- Darling, your mime is marvelous.
518
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,840
I know exactly what you mean,
but do you really mean...?
519
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,600
Well, I got them for you,
and I can't take them with me.
520
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,680
And it is terribly expensive,
putting things in store.
521
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,080
- Angel!
- You could be an unfurnished tenant.
522
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,200
Bliss!
523
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,240
Complete and utter blissI
524
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:20,400
In the lower depths of Chelsea,
I became unfurnished and immoveable,
525
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,000
and aloneI
526
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,040
Crisp!
527
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,720
- Yes, sir.
- Get in there.
528
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,760
Come on, move!
529
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,280
Crisp, sir.
530
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,320
Sit down.
531
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,920
Your hair's dyed.
532
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,000
Yes, sir.
533
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,280
A man dying his hair
is a sign of sexual perversion.
534
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,280
- Do you know what that means?
- Yes, sir.
535
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,600
Do you know what the word
"homosexual" means?
536
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,760
Yes, I am homosexual.
537
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:01,840
Wait here.
538
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,920
- How old are you?
- 31.
539
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,240
It says here, 25.
540
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,640
I said 25 because I thought
that would get me into the Army sooner.
541
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,240
Why did you want to get in the Army?
542
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,280
In order to avoid starvation.
543
00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:35,200
Right, take those off.
544
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,560
Let's have a look at you.
545
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,520
Bend over.
546
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:51,680
I think I ought to explain
that I've very rarely gone in for sodomy.
547
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,960
Not for some years now.
548
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,360
I mean, if that's what you're looking for.
549
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,760
Stand up.
550
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,360
Put those things on again.
551
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,280
What use do you think you'd be to the Army?
552
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,640
Anyone can get killed.
553
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,200
Wait here.
554
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,960
Sit down.
555
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,440
- I am a psychiatrist.
- Oh, yes... sir?
556
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,840
You say you are homosexual.
557
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,920
I am homosexual, irretrievably.
558
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,160
But you want to join the Army?
559
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,040
- Yes.
- Why did you come here, looking as you do?
560
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:58,800
Well...
561
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,400
I didn't put on any of my usual make-up.
562
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,200
I thought, "I mustn't blind them with it."
563
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:12,440
But there's my hair and my fingernails.
I won't do anything about those.
564
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:17,240
I mustn't make it seem I'm trying to disguise
the fact that I'm homosexual. It wouldn't be fair.
565
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,680
And in any case,
I couldn't possibly get rid of the dye.
566
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,920
You have to grow it out,
and that can take quite a long time.
567
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,640
I could have cut it.
568
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:30,000
But I thought, "When I join the Army,
they'll cut it for me."
569
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:34,160
And apart from saving me the expense, then
it would provide me with a permanent excuse.
570
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,880
"My hair is short because they've cut it.
571
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:42,000
"The way you see me now
is because they've done it to me."
572
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,360
The burden of responsibility
will pass from my shoulders.
573
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,200
Does that answer your question?
574
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:57,200
In all seriousness, have you a fantasy vision
of yourself as a fighting man?
575
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,960
In all seriousness, the only soldiers I know
576
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,600
spend their time
loading petrol cans onto lorries in Banbury.
577
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,120
I'm sure even I can do that.
578
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:15,200
I must admit that I'm more likely to be killed
by the English than by the Germans,
579
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:18,880
but I've taken that risk for years now.
580
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,840
- Do you read your Bible?
- Not constantly.
581
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,480
"Male and female created He them."
582
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,240
Male and female created He me.
583
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:40,960
Armed with a certificate saying,
"Exempt, suffering from sexual perversion,"
584
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,960
I had a happy War.
585
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,960
In the blackout,
the whole of London was my playground.
586
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,200
And when the Americans came,
587
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:52,160
I discovered, like many a good girl,
588
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,200
that sex could be fun.
589
00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:56,240
Hey, ma'am.
590
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,080
Can I walk you home?
591
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,840
You think I'm a woman, don't you?
592
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,880
Well, you sure wiggle your fanny like a woman.
593
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,080
Frankly, I'm not a woman.
594
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,920
Frankly, do I care?
595
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:24,520
Never in the history of sex was so much offered
to so many by so few.
596
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:28,640
- Hiya, Red.
- Hi.
597
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:31,320
- Well, you sure are pretty.
- Am I?
598
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,360
Yeah. You wanna go someplace?
599
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,320
- What place?
- Your place.
600
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:42,040
Here, what say we have another piece of gum
and then do it again?
601
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,840
All right.
602
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:52,680
This is more fun than watching a long-tailed cat
in a room full of rocking chairs.
603
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:55,560
Yeah.
604
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:57,800
Quentin, are you in?
605
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,880
- Hello.
- Darling, you've got to do it for me.
606
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,920
- Oh, yes?
- Tonight. I simply can't, I shall be in Brighton.
607
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,040
I've telephoned everyone.
They're all booked, so it must be you.
608
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,600
- Me?
- You've always said how nice it must be.
609
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,080
- Jeez! Do you know what time it is?
- No, I'm afraid I don't.
610
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:14,720
They really want me?
611
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:18,360
You are practically the only person left
in London with two arms and two legs.
612
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,440
Pardon me, ma'am. I'll get my clothes here.
613
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,520
But what do I wear?
614
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,320
Oh, roughly as you are.
615
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,080
Oh.
616
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,560
I suppose you couldn't stand
with your arms stretched out?
617
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,560
Yes.
618
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,040
In a sort of crucifixion pose?
619
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,400
Christ!
620
00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:01,080
Being a model requires no education,
no references and no previous experience.
621
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:05,840
You have only to say, "I do"
and you're stuck with it for life.
622
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,440
Like marriage.
623
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,680
Quentin,
624
00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:31,520
could you erm...
625
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,160
sort of stand as if you were waiting for a bus?
626
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,040
Waiting for a bus?
627
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,400
A number 11, to be precise.
628
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,040
Do you think you could be more natural?
629
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,480
Natural? Me?
630
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,520
He's been standing like that for two hours now.
631
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,720
Why?
632
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,080
In case "they" come.
633
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,880
Last night, he stood there all night.
634
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,280
Who are "they"?
635
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,680
Who are "they"? They who might come?
636
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,160
They might.
637
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,560
- Who? The Germans?
- No.
638
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,120
Scotland Yard?
639
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,400
Secret Service? Spies?
640
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,520
Spies, perhaps.
641
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,280
To spy on whom? To find out what?
642
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,600
Who would want to spy on you?
643
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:50,880
They.
644
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,400
Who do you think "they" are?
645
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:02,680
They... are ideas in my head.
646
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,240
Then let's all sit down,
647
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,960
and we'll have a drink
and we'll talk about something else.
648
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,440
Are there microphones in the room?
649
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,840
Who would want to put microphones here?
650
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,840
They would.
651
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,920
My problem was minor in comparison.
652
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,640
After years of quite phenomenal luck...
653
00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:37,680
Excuse me, sir.
654
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,200
- We are police officers.
- Oh, yes?
655
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:45,480
Have you some evidence of your identity?
656
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,760
Are you exempted from the forces, sir?
657
00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,800
Exempted...
658
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,120
suffering from sexual perversion.
659
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,280
That's right.
660
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,080
Thank you.
661
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,440
Move along.
662
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,960
20 minutes later,
in another part of the forest...
663
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,080
- Quentin, how are you, love?
- Hello.
664
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,560
Must get to the theater. Be good.
665
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,560
I'm depressingly good.
666
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:24,960
Just a minute, you.
667
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,240
- Oh, hello. You, again.
- We're taking you in for soliciting.
668
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,080
- For what?
- Soliciting for an immoral purpose.
669
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,120
Quick march.
670
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:36,240
It was an eventuality that I had expected
for many a long year.
671
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:38,120
I can't think why I acted surprised.
672
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,280
Quentin Crisp.
673
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,560
I was assailed by two contrary feelings.
674
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,680
The first was that
here was the long awaited situation
675
00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:54,000
which would need all my powers of survival.
676
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,640
The second was that I might
easily fall in a dead faint,
677
00:48:56,720 --> 00:48:58,400
and it would be just as well if I did.
678
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:04,400
Quentin Crisp, you are charged with soliciting
for an immoral purpose on September 28th.
679
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,880
in Catherine Street,
Russell Street and Tavistock Street.
680
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,920
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
681
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,760
- Not guilty.
- Speak up. I can't hear you.
682
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:16,720
Not guilty.
683
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,200
- Sit down, Mr Crisp.
- Thank you, sir.
684
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,480
I swear by Almighty God,
685
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,000
the evidence I shall give shall be truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
686
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:28,400
So help him, God.
687
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,920
On September 28th, I was on plain clothes
patrol duty in the West End,
688
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,080
with Detective Constable J Robinson.
689
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:37,440
At approximately 6pm, in Catherine Street,
I saw the accused.
690
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,080
He approached and spoke to a man,
who turned away from him,
691
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,840
as if offended, and walked rapidly away.
692
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,560
I then, with Detective Constable Robinson,
kept the accused under observation,
693
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,600
at a distance of approximately 15 yards,
694
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:53,360
while he proceeded into Tavistock Street,
Drury Lane and then into Russell Street.
695
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:57,120
This was from approximately 6pm
until approximately 6:20.
696
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:59,960
During this time,
he approached three other male persons,
697
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,080
and spoke or attempted to speak to them.
698
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,000
In each case, after a few words
had been spoken on both sides,
699
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,160
the person to whom the accused had been
speaking turned and walked away from him,
700
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,440
looking as if disgusted and horrified.
701
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,800
The final occasion I saw this happen
702
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:18,440
was immediately outside the Fortune Theater
in Russell Street at approximately 6:20.
703
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:23,280
I went up to the accused, informed him
of the charge and took him into custody.
704
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,800
One must never say that the police are liars.
705
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,360
Do you wish to ask the officer any questions
about his evidence?
706
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,400
Stand up.
707
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,440
Erm... No.
708
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:40,360
Why don't I wish to question him?
709
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:44,480
Because you must never say
that the police are liars.
710
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,920
At approximately 6pm in Catherine Street,
I saw the accused.
711
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,560
He approached and spoke to a man,
who turned away from him as if offended.
712
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,080
14 years ago
I ceased to be a homosexual prostitute.
713
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,400
Of my own accord
I threw off the burden of homosexuality
714
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:01,680
by transforming it into a cause.
715
00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:06,200
I decided to make the problem clear
by making it evident.
716
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:11,240
I must now do something publicly
to fight for that cause.
717
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,560
.. looking disgusted and horrified.
718
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,760
The final occasion on which I saw this happen
719
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:20,560
was immediately outside the Fortune Theater
in Russell Street at approximately 6:20pm.
720
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:25,000
I then went up to the accused, informed him
of the charge and took him into custody.
721
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,200
Have you anything to say, Mr. Crisp?
722
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:31,160
Yes.
723
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,120
You may say what you have to say
from where you are.
724
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,040
Or if you wish,
you may go into the witness box,
725
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,720
in which case, you will be put to oath.
726
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,920
Now, which do you prefer?
727
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:46,880
Well, I can't possibly play my big scene
with my back to the audience.
728
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,480
The witness box, please.
729
00:51:59,240 --> 00:52:00,920
Take the book in your right hand and...
730
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,200
I swear by Almighty God,
the evidence I shall give shall be the truth,
731
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,920
the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
732
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,560
- Full name?
- Quentin Crisp.
733
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:13,960
Quentin. You are a male person, I presume?
734
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,440
- Yes.
- Your address? Full address?
735
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,840
97 Bewley Street, London SW3, England.
736
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,440
Do you deny the facts, as given in evidence
by the two police officers?
737
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,800
- Yes.
- Are you saying that the police are liars?
738
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,680
- No.
- What are you saying, then?
739
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,360
I am saying that I think they were mistaken.
740
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,120
Do you deny that you were in the places
mentioned, at the times mentioned?
741
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,840
Oh, not at all, no. I was definitely
in Catherine Street at six o'clock.
742
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,480
I remember this particularly,
743
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,480
because it was then that the two gentlemen
who later arrested me
744
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,920
came up and spoke to me for the first time.
745
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,320
- They what?
- They asked to see my papers.
746
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:56,040
I showed them my exemption papers, which say
that I am suffering from sexual perversion.
747
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,480
- Is this true?
- Yes, sir.
748
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,320
It is certainly true that I am a sexual pervert,
749
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,400
but I've never been quite sure about the word
"suffering".
750
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,240
You are a sexual pervert?
751
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,440
- Yes.
- You are attracted to men and not to women?
752
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,920
- Yes.
- You go to bed with men?
753
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,440
I have done, sometimes, yes.
754
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,720
Do you deny
that you spoke to men in the street?
755
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:26,320
I deny that I approached anyone or that
I spoke to anyone before he spoke to me.
756
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:30,800
- But you spoke to men?
- Only if they demanded some reply.
757
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,800
In Catherine Street?
758
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,000
I don't think I said anything in Catherine Street.
759
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:39,440
It was there that a man came up to me
and said, forgive me,
760
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,840
"You effing pansy, you ought to be locked up."
761
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:47,320
And I didn't reply, because this really
didn't seem to demand any reply.
762
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,520
And in Tavistock Street?
763
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:54,720
I think it was in Tavistock Street that a man
came up to me and pushed me in the chest,
764
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,720
but I can't be absolutely sure.
765
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,640
- Why not?
- That sort of thing happens to me all the time.
766
00:53:59,720 --> 00:54:05,800
Mr. Crisp, are you saying that the police officers
misinterpreted what they saw?
767
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:10,120
I am saying
that they made a very natural mistake.
768
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,960
They had seen from my papers
that I was homosexual.
769
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:17,160
Good heavens, they could have told
from my appearance, as you can now.
770
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:20,160
They were watching me from 15 yards or so,
771
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,000
when I had these brief exchanges
with various men.
772
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,920
And it may well have seemed,
from a distance...
773
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:32,000
But you are saying, on oath, that in no case
did you make the first approach.
774
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,160
- My Lord...
- No.
775
00:54:35,240 --> 00:54:38,160
I beg your pardon, sir.
776
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,880
Sir, look at me.
777
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:47,120
I wear lipstick, I wear rouge,
I wear mascara on my eye lashes.
778
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:52,680
I dye my hair, I wear flamboyant clothes,
far more outre than those I'm wearing now.
779
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:58,880
I am a self-evident, self-professed,
effeminate homosexual,
780
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,400
for all the world to see.
781
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:08,360
How could I hope to solicit anybody in broad
daylight, in a crowded London street,
782
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,200
looking as I do?
783
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,240
What would I expect, but a curse and a blow?
784
00:55:17,720 --> 00:55:23,560
No, my appearance sets me apart
from the rest of humanity.
785
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,440
It is not easy for me to make human contacts.
786
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,240
With strangers, it is almost impossible.
787
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:35,920
I learned, many years ago,
the golden rule of my life.
788
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:40,680
In public places I do not speak to anyone
unless they speak to me.
789
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:45,280
I do not look at anyone
unless they demand that I look at them.
790
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:52,440
It is the only way I know
of getting safely to my destination.
791
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,840
- Have you anything else to say, Mr. Crisp?
- Yes.
792
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:02,320
I have never refrained
from any course of action
793
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,160
on the ground that it was illegal or immoral.
794
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:10,680
But I no longer ask strange men for money
because I do not think that I would get it.
795
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:19,160
Perhaps... Perhaps my very existence
is a form of importuning.
796
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,880
Otherwise, I am not guilty as charged.
797
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:28,600
Thank you.
798
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,280
Please return to the dock.
799
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:38,200
Well, I flatter myself London
has not seen a performance like that
800
00:56:38,240 --> 00:56:40,920
since Sybil Thorndike's St. Joan.
801
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:44,040
Do you know he is a homosexual?
802
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:46,920
Yes.
803
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,360
- And yet you say he is a friend of yours?
- Yes.
804
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:55,520
- Do you know he is a homosexual?
- Yes.
805
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,400
- And yet you describe him as "respectable"?
- Yes.
806
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,840
- Do you know he is a homosexual?
- Yes.
807
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,880
And yet you call him "a good man"?
808
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,920
- Yes.
- Thank you.
809
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:12,960
- Mr. Crisp.
- Stand up.
810
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,000
Have you any other witnesses to character?
811
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,880
About ten, I think.
812
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,960
I am tired of this recital of your praises.
813
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,480
There is insufficient evidence to convict.
814
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,400
By which he means the police are liars.
815
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,560
Case dismissed.
816
00:57:54,120 --> 00:57:55,720
You look terrible.
817
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:10,560
Exhibitionism is indeed a drug.
818
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,360
Hooked in adolescence,
I was now taking doses so massive
819
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,360
they would have killed a beginner.
820
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:19,520
Darling, are you coming to the party?
821
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,720
- I suppose so.
- Come in, Ricky.
822
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:29,280
I brought him for you. He's a bit small,
but they are getting difficult to find.
823
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,760
Oh, it's very sweet of you, darling, but...
824
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,800
I do think, not at the moment.
825
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,640
Fate held something worse in store.
826
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:45,640
Into the Cuzco of the layabout civilization
came a man the size of a barn door,
827
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,040
and as easily pushed to and fro.
828
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,680
- Is this taken?
- No.
829
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,880
Mind if I...?
830
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,120
Please do.
831
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:06,280
He was a great, dark thing from outer space.
832
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,440
Breakfast?
833
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:32,360
- What?
- Would you like some breakfast?
834
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,520
Oh, right.
835
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,520
- Thanks.
- Right.
836
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,760
I put him up for a night,
which lasted a weekend,
837
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:44,240
for three long, dark years.
838
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,040
Oh, that's nice. That's very nice.
839
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,920
- I'm glad.
- Yeah, they do a nice job at that laundry.
840
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:06,480
- You tell 'em.
- Yes, I will.
841
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,520
What are you making for supper, then?
842
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,840
- Stew?
- Irish?
843
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,880
It's sort of Hibernian.
844
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:17,960
You put them vegetables in I brought?
845
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,760
My only notion of cooking
is to put everything in and stir it.
846
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,160
I don't know, you do all right.
847
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,200
Thank you.
848
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,040
Do you like this shirt?
849
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,880
Think the color suits me?
Do you think it makes me look nice?
850
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:38,320
Yes. Yes, it makes you look very nice.
851
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,280
- Did I show you what I bought today?
- No, you didn't.
852
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:49,920
French beret.
Makes a change from the old cap, eh?
853
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,800
- Do I look like a Frenchman?
- Yes.
854
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,840
Yes, you do, somewhat.
855
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:03,960
# Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise
856
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,920
# The birds in the trees just whisper Louise
857
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,040
# I love you, love you #
858
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,960
- I ought to go on the stage.
- Why not?
859
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:28,200
'Ere. Quent!
860
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:31,560
- Hmm?
- You ought to clean up. This place is filthy.
861
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,520
I have discovered a great labor-saving secret.
862
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:38,000
After the first four years,
the dust doesn't get any worse.
863
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:43,840
Yeah? Well, I reckon you ought to clean up.
It's not nice.
864
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:47,920
- Perhaps I'm not nice.
- I want our neighbors to respect you.
865
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:51,160
The job is done. They're terrified.
866
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:56,320
As far as I know, this is ready.
867
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:03,320
- Hey, Quent?
- Mm-hm?
868
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:07,160
I've been thinking about it.
I don't like you sleeping on the floor.
869
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:11,960
- I don't mind it.
- Well, I think you ought to sleep in the bed.
870
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:16,200
With me.
871
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,400
Know what I mean?
872
01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:23,320
If you like.
873
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,560
Yeah.
874
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:30,480
The sex was all right,
in a domestic sort of way.
875
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:35,120
But never share a narrow double bed
with a wide single man.
876
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,640
# Eh dah dee dee
877
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:47,280
# Dee dee dee, Columbina
878
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:52,680
# Ree dee, Pagliaccio
879
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:57,080
# Dee dee, dee dee, dee dee #
880
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:06,720
- I ought to have been in opera.
- I think you could have done very well.
881
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,040
Hey, do you think
I ought to have been in opera?
882
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:12,720
Do you think I've got a good voice?
883
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,000
Mr. Crisp does.
884
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,040
Give us your hand.
885
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,400
Mr. Crisp and me
have been together for two years now.
886
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,160
Fact.
887
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,200
- Hey, Quent?
- Mm-hm?
888
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,120
This going to bed together.
889
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,160
Yes?
890
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,400
Let's pack it in.
891
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,520
If you like.
892
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,160
How marvelous for you to be here again!
893
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,280
I shall...
894
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:57,400
No, I shan't. I can't do it any longer.
895
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,040
Quentin, I am worried about you.
896
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,880
All my friends are constantly in that state.
897
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:10,360
But I don't understand
your relationship with him.
898
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,680
He is a poor, wee thing.
899
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:18,920
I fed him because he was hungry and
I housed him because he had nowhere to go.
900
01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:20,960
But that's compassion.
901
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,520
- Oh, I see. Is it?
- Isn't it?
902
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,560
I've yet to be informed.
903
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:29,920
Because all the love that I have ever known
is that I wish people well,
904
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,280
and that occasionally,
I actually give them half a crown.
905
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,720
Or what they need - advice, a bath, a bed.
906
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:39,640
And he, poor, wee thing, needed a kingdom.
907
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:43,360
He'd never known a world
in which he had the upper hand.
908
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:46,800
- I gave him a kingdom.
- But your relationship?
909
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:49,080
He wanted sex, I obeyed.
910
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,480
He wanted to stop, I obeyed.
911
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,920
But does he love you?
912
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:59,920
You are a woman. You speak a language
that I do not understand.
913
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,160
If love exists,
which is something that I wouldn't know,
914
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:08,120
then love is never closing my hand,
not even to the unlovable.
915
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:13,200
I thought perhaps he was
your great, dark man.
916
01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:17,960
There is no great, dark man.
917
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:24,960
May I utter that universal truth
more loudly here,
918
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,440
where the echoes are so marvelous?
919
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,240
I leave for France on Tuesday.
920
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:43,920
- I always thought you'd become a nun.
- Why?
921
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,880
Because you hate the world.
922
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:48,000
I have never been a member of it.
923
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,800
Will you go and see him?
924
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:55,680
If you like.
925
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:59,520
I've been every Sunday.
You needn't go incessantly.
926
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,960
But you must go.
927
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:04,440
If I can't come every weekend,
that's it, isn't it?
928
01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:07,600
I shall be delighted to see you
whenever it's possible.
929
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:12,080
- No, you won't.
- I told you, I have to see a friend.
930
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:13,320
An old friend.
931
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:17,120
Yeah, that's what you say.
But that's not the truth.
932
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:22,160
Alas, that when you bite into a soft center,
you can't put it back in the box.
933
01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:26,000
Please do come again,
though it can't be so often.
934
01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:28,000
No!
935
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,520
Just as you wish.
936
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:36,880
Going to see a madman.
937
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:43,040
You're not well, Quent. You're not right.
You're a bit sick, you know.
938
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:47,200
Hell consists of having the same diseases
as one's neighbors.
939
01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:49,920
Thank you.
940
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:57,280
What am I doing here?
941
01:06:57,360 --> 01:07:00,560
In loving mummery of a woman who is a nun,
942
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:03,120
and therefore is as if already dead.
943
01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:05,760
I never liked him much,
even when he was sane.
944
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:10,880
Perhaps he is... unlovable.
945
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:16,640
Quentin! My dear friend, Quentin!
946
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,480
Hello.
947
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,440
You have come. At last, you have come.
948
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:26,760
- Yes.
- Tea. You will have tea with me.
949
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:31,200
- Yes, shall I get it?
- Oh, no, no. Here you are chez moi.
950
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,680
It will be my treat, as in the good old days.
951
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:48,560
Beautiful sandwiches.
They make them with fresh bread.
952
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:52,040
He looks better, you know.
He looks better since he's been here.
953
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:59,720
There. Help yourself.
954
01:08:01,480 --> 01:08:04,240
Did she say that I'd be coming?
955
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:07,160
Oh, yes. If it was she.
956
01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:09,760
- If?
- She put me here, you know.
957
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:11,840
- Yes.
- That was unforgivable.
958
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:15,760
- Oh, we all thought it would be for the best.
- The woman I loved.
959
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,800
She betrayed me.
960
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:22,000
- She came to see you every weekend.
- If it was she.
961
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:27,600
Who's the third cup for?
962
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:37,560
This place is an absolute madhouse.
963
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:46,200
Two hours to get here, two hours of this.
964
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:48,840
Two hours to get back.
965
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,160
I have a present for you.
966
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:53,120
Oh, you shouldn't have.
967
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,960
Yes, for you! Open it.
968
01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,600
I took them from the orchard here,
969
01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:02,400
when, for a moment, they were not watching.
970
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:08,000
- Why, that's very kind of you.
- They will do you good.
971
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:11,120
You must take care of yourself, Quentin.
972
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:12,840
You are looking old.
973
01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:17,120
My dentist, a dear friend, said,
974
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:21,160
"It's not your teeth that are decaying, it's you."
975
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:26,240
It was 1948. I was 40.
976
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,120
"You're looking old."
977
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:34,360
Looking old, because growing old.
978
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:45,920
Loyally, my students didn't mind,
red, white or blue.
979
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,480
Quentin, my friend!
980
01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:56,960
But you look marvelous!
981
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,120
Thank you.
982
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,920
You like it? It makes me look young, eh?
983
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:10,120
I am more desirable.
984
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,600
Erm... Yes. How do you...
985
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:17,320
Cod liver oil. I rub it into my scalp all day long.
986
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:20,960
Tea. You will have tea.
987
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:24,640
I went on visiting him for eight years.
988
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,200
After eight years, he was allowed to visit me.
989
01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:31,080
Come in.
990
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:39,640
- Quentin!
- Hello. How lovely to see you.
991
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,280
Take your coat off. I'm just making the tea.
992
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,040
- How are you?
- I have brought you presents.
993
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:49,600
- Many presents.
- You shouldn't have.
994
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:53,560
Oh, I've brought you...
You cannot guess what I have brought you.
995
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:57,360
I have brought you some apples...
996
01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:01,760
some chocolate...
997
01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:05,880
a meat pie...
998
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:08,720
and a bottle of British sherry.
999
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,080
How lovely.
1000
01:11:11,120 --> 01:11:12,800
For you, Quentin,
1001
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,280
because I love you.
1002
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:22,680
You are the only person in the world
that I love.
1003
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:25,480
The kettle!
1004
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,400
I'm nearly 50.
1005
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:32,600
He must be 70.
1006
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:36,440
I must remain perfectly calm.
1007
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,600
Why don't you sit down and have a cup of tea?
1008
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:47,640
Quentin, my love!
1009
01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:50,280
My darling.
1010
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:55,280
He was not sexless, but he was impotent.
1011
01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:57,040
There was little he could do,
1012
01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:59,080
He did what little he could.
1013
01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:03,920
This was the measure of his loneliness.
1014
01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:06,720
I was the limit of his degradation.
1015
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:12,200
The nun returned to us
for one last glimpse of the past.
1016
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:14,760
- Cheers, darling.
- Cheers.
1017
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:20,360
- How is it there?
- Every moment has been agony.
1018
01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:23,000
But I couldn't have done otherwise.
1019
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:26,400
The story of our lives.
1020
01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:29,480
Some of our lives.
1021
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:34,800
She, at least, was safe
in the loving bosom of Lord Alcohol.
1022
01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:39,440
She was still seeking
mad, passionate, romantic love.
1023
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,440
In vain.
1024
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:45,400
It was one of the Pole's last visits to London.
1025
01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:47,840
He hanged himself in his mental home
1026
01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:50,920
when, for a moment,
"they" were not watching.
1027
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,280
As for myself...
1028
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:58,760
Well, even a marriage with oneself
may not last forever.
1029
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:06,200
I am not merely a stopped clock.
1030
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:08,600
I am a stopped grandfather clock.
1031
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:14,080
The symbols I adopted 40 years ago
to express my sexual type
1032
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:17,120
have become the uniform
of all young people.
1033
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:23,200
I have survived.
I have had some happy times.
1034
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:27,200
There was one night
when I was totally happy.
1035
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:32,000
For some reason,
I had to spend the night in Portsmouth.
1036
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:38,440
I went for a walk on the front
and I was immediately surrounded by sailors.
1037
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,520
- Hello!
- Where are you going?
1038
01:13:40,600 --> 01:13:44,040
Come with us and have a drink.
We're going to the Queen's Arms.
1039
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:46,640
- Very sweet of you.
- Well, we are sweet, aren't we?
1040
01:13:46,680 --> 01:13:50,080
- Oh, I should say so!
- Yes, you are.
1041
01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:53,680
- I think you're all terribly sweet.
- Ooh!
1042
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:57,480
He doesn't want the Queen's Arms.
He wants the Jolly Jack Tar!
1043
01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:59,440
The old Jack Tar, eh!
1044
01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:02,520
- Oh, is that a nicer place?
- You wait!
1045
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:05,360
Well, when you get in the Jolly Jack Tar...
1046
01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:07,400
.. you'll have the time of your life!
1047
01:14:07,480 --> 01:14:09,440
And when he gets in you...!
1048
01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:11,760
Oh, it's not a pub.
1049
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,800
You meant something else.
1050
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:20,080
It was the first, last and only time
that I have ever been in a crowd of people
1051
01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:22,840
where I was the centre of attention
1052
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:25,440
without feeling that I was in danger.
1053
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:28,400
- Do you fancy one of us, then?
- Which one of us do you fancy?
1054
01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:31,880
Oh, I think you're all so incredibly attractive.
1055
01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,720
Oh, go on!
1056
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:37,400
Nothing sexual happened.
Nothing was going to happen.
1057
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:41,360
It was what I have always longed for
and never elsewhere found.
1058
01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:45,640
A flirtation, an evening's entertainment.
1059
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:08,960
Hey, mister! Me and my mates, we been
watching you. You're a poof, ain't ya?
1060
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:12,280
Queer baiters are getting younger
these days.
1061
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:15,080
See that copper over there?
If you don't give us a quid each,
1062
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:17,840
I'm gonna tell him
you've been fiddling with these two.
1063
01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:20,520
I defy you to do your worst.
1064
01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:25,200
It can hardly be my worst.
Mine has already and often happened to me.
1065
01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:27,160
You cannot touch me now.
1066
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,080
I am one of the stately homos of England.
1067
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:37,080
Never looking at anyone
unless they demand that I look.
1068
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:39,920
Never speaking unless spoken to.86103
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