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- And now, your headliner
for this evening is
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00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,768
a local comedy legend.
3
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,737
How about a nice
round of applause
4
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:23,041
for the Character King of
Boston comedy, Sweeney?
5
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:29,848
- Thank you, thank you.
6
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:30,749
Wow.
7
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,418
Wow.
8
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,053
It's great to be here.
9
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,589
I know what you're thinking.
10
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:41,093
If anybody knows anything
about comedy it's the Chinese.
11
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:47,599
Listen, I'm from Charleston,
all my friends are dead.
12
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,634
- You're hilarious.
13
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,537
I mean, it's so funny I can't
even remember all the jokes.
14
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,473
- Thanks, what's
your name again?
15
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,707
- Justin.
16
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,376
- Justin.
17
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,610
You sounded older on the phone.
18
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,612
- That was my Dad.
19
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,881
I figured it'd be easier
if he called instead of me.
20
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,584
- Oh, what is this,
school newspaper?
21
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,085
- No, it's a
homework assignment.
22
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,620
- History?
23
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,155
- No, it's English class.
24
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,624
I have to write a paper
about a local celebrity.
25
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,426
- Local celebrity, I see.
26
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,497
Hey, did ya ever see this
guy sweeping the streets?
27
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,137
My name's Jimmy Yannel.
28
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,539
I'm the shovel man on
Wednesdays and Sundays.
29
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:32,077
I'm the broom man Mondays,
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
30
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:35,747
You need a broom man and
a shovel man in order
31
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,115
to sweep the streets.
32
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,252
Wait a minute.
33
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:41,719
There's a lot of
local celebrities.
34
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,155
Why did you pick me?
35
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,055
Because?
36
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,159
- Well...
- You wanna be--
37
00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:48,493
- Well, I'm thinking about
doing some standup comedy.
38
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,662
- Standup comedy.
- Myself.
39
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,197
- Right.
40
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:53,999
- Wanna read some of my jokes?
41
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,700
- Oh, yeah.
42
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,669
I'd love to read your jokes.
43
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:02,641
Not now, not while I'm eating,
but Jesus, that'd be great.
44
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,645
So, I used to live in the
People's Republic of Cambridge.
45
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,713
Neighbors who talked like this.
46
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:12,651
"You know, okay, so I am
totally against global warming.
47
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,653
"I voted against global warming.
48
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,855
"Everything is melting.
49
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,691
"The glaciers are melting,
the ice caps are melting,
50
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:23,695
"the polar bears are
actually melting.
51
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:24,529
"Hello?"
52
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,999
- So, how'd you
start doing comedy?
53
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,801
- Read that, will ya?
54
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,537
I don't have my glasses.
55
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:36,808
- You can't be what you want
until you accept who you are.
56
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,543
- Makes no sense.
57
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,744
Lin?
58
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,946
These fortunes,
they make no sense.
59
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,147
- It's all bullshit.
60
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,515
- I love him.
61
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,784
Lin saw me the first
time I was on stage.
62
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,019
- It's all bullshit!
63
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:53,158
- So, did you get an agent
when you started comedy?
64
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,726
- An agent?
65
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,994
No.
66
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,562
We didn't get an agent.
67
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,130
We played places like this.
68
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:03,502
Chinese restaurants, bars,
clubs, funeral parlors.
69
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,672
Did you ever bomb
in a funeral parlor?
70
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,674
That is local comedy.
71
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,845
My name is Mary Ellen McCarthy.
72
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:17,716
I'm a Dorchester mother,
and I've always said,
73
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,085
"As long as my kids are happy.
74
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,722
"Whatever they wanna do,
as long as they're happy.
75
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,158
"My daughter's a hooker.
76
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,595
"God love her, she's got a pimp
77
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,363
"that dresses her
very beautifully.
78
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,902
"My son, he's in his
last year at Walpole.
79
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:42,640
"Not the high
school, the prison."
80
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,446
- So, what advice do you have
for someone starting out?
81
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,614
- You want advice?
82
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,915
Okay.
83
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,918
Do drugs, go to rehab,
get off the drugs,
84
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,586
talk about it on TV.
85
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:56,721
- Drugs?
86
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,889
- Drugs.
87
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,390
It's a joke.
88
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,558
It's comedy.
89
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,426
It's like the Joker in Batman.
90
00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:03,427
You know what I mean?
91
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:04,929
Wait 'til they get a load of me.
92
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,330
- Uh, yeah.
93
00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:09,467
You must really love
doing comedy, then, huh?
94
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,701
- Comedy?
95
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,670
It's a curse.
96
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,539
It's like a love/hate
relationship.
97
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,940
- Sounds like my parents.
98
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,241
They're getting divorced.
99
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,609
- Oh.
100
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,444
Well, that's too bad.
101
00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:23,748
- So, one last question.
102
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,449
Are you happy?
103
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:26,617
- Am I happy?
104
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,956
What's that got to
do with anything?
105
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,493
You know every neighborhood
has got one of these guys here.
106
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,428
Huh?
107
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,431
Are you shittin' me?
108
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:41,532
Are you shittin' me?
109
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,668
You gotta be shittin' me.
110
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,836
You can't shit a shitter.
111
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:50,575
So I go to the
doctor's the other day.
112
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,911
He told me I gotta
cut down on the beers
113
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,514
in the waitin' room.
114
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,419
Happy?
115
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,320
Happy?
116
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:03,220
What's that got to
do with anything?
117
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:03,688
Happy?
118
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,622
Yeah, I'm happy.
119
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,257
Course I'm happy.
120
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,858
- Well, wouldn't you
rather be in L.A. starring
121
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,493
in your own sitcom or
maybe your own movie?
122
00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,295
- No, no.
123
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:15,700
Look, they told me when I
started, don't do local material.
124
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,268
You'll get stuck.
125
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,769
Let me ask you something.
126
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:23,474
You tell me, is the stomach
of success or failure?
127
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,943
- It's a big stomach.
128
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:29,313
- All right, look, I'm
gonna tell you something.
129
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:33,417
I'm gonna have my own
cable special in L.A.
130
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:34,452
- Really?
131
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,686
That's so cool.
132
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,255
- Yeah, don't go blabbin' it.
133
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,889
It's gonna be happenin'.
134
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,324
Don't blab it.
135
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,626
- Can I tell my Science Club?
- No.
136
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,627
Nobody.
137
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:43,961
Don't tell, no.
138
00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:49,333
- You're the funniest
fuckin' guy ever, Sweeney.
139
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:50,401
- Thank you.
140
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,638
- Funniest fuckin' guy ever!
141
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:58,276
- What a tribute, huh?
142
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,779
Coming from her?
143
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,281
Do you know what that
means to me as an artist?
144
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,290
- Do you think you could
come to my classroom
145
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,391
and talk about comedy?
146
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:14,292
It'd be awesome.
147
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,826
I'd get an A, for sure.
148
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:16,994
- There gonna be kids there?
149
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,429
- Yeah, it's a classroom.
150
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,830
- No, I can't.
151
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,666
I don't like kids, I hate kids.
152
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,067
- No, thank you.
153
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,836
- I can't do it, I hate kids.
154
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,338
Look, it's nothing personal.
155
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,974
It's just, I got
nothing to say to 'em.
156
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,544
- Did I mention my parents
are getting divorced?
157
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:34,912
- All right, I'll
come to your class.
158
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:35,846
- Really?
159
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,881
Yeah, I'll come to your class.
160
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,349
- That's so awesome!
161
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,317
Thanks so much, Sweeney!
- Oh yeah, great, great.
162
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,051
See ya later.
- That's my dad.
163
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,352
I gotta go.
164
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,720
- Okay, yeah, go.
165
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,322
Go, see ya.
- Okay, bye.
166
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,423
- Bye.
167
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,893
- You're like all
those other guys.
168
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,896
Probably got a little
hussy in your car.
169
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,097
Yeah.
170
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:03,708
Oh.
171
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,079
Hey?
172
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,580
Am I still funny?
173
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,492
- Can I get playback?
174
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,029
♪ Cleaning up your
gutters is what they do ♪
175
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:26,696
♪ The Gutter Guys
will see it through ♪
176
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,100
♪ Not the kinda thing
that you should do ♪
177
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,668
♪ Call those Gutter Guys ♪
178
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,037
♪ They'll do do do
do your gutters ♪
179
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,905
♪ They'll clean
up your gutters ♪
180
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:35,973
♪ Day and night-- ♪
- Hey, hey!
181
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:38,376
No playback, no playback!
182
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:41,679
♪ All day long, they
love gutters gutters ♪
183
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,713
- Sweeney?
184
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:43,981
- George.
185
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,483
Where you been?
186
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,084
- Told ya, I had a show a condo.
187
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,820
- Well, I'm standin' here like
the freakin' Canadian flag.
188
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:52,089
- I have shown this place
to the same people 12 times.
189
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,592
I think they're goin'
for squatter's rights.
190
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,060
- Have you heard from Gene?
191
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,661
- Don't worry about Gene.
192
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,163
He'll call.
193
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,631
- All right, well you gotta
get me outta this commercial.
194
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:01,799
- Why, what's the problem?
195
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,134
- It's too high.
196
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,168
- It's not too high.
197
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,636
- It's too high!
198
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,103
What do you mean,
it's not too high?
199
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,405
It's too high.
200
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,172
- It's not too high.
201
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,073
- Well, then you do it.
202
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,074
- They don't want me.
203
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,409
They want the Character King.
204
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,144
Plus, it's too high.
205
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,812
- Action!
206
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,048
- Hello, I'm a leaf.
207
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,984
We love the fall
because then we turn
208
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,153
into all these beautiful colors.
209
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,722
But leaves never leave.
210
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:28,626
They go into your gutter,
then they clog your gutter.
211
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,194
That's when you need
The Gutter Guys.
212
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:31,896
That's when...
213
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,631
Hey, could someone hold
this goddamn ladder?
214
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,533
- Sweeney, Gene called.
215
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,503
- What?
216
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:40,871
- For crying
out loud, cut!
217
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,841
♪ Gutters, gutters,
gutters, gutters ♪
218
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:44,675
♪ Gutter Guys get-- ♪
219
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:45,843
- Jesus.
220
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,978
Another fucking audition?
221
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,682
- Gene loves you, you know that.
222
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,217
You know how these things go.
223
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,085
- When is it?
224
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:56,454
- Next Saturday.
225
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,457
Give you plenty of time
to work on your set.
226
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:00,958
- Work on a set?
227
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,892
I have a set.
228
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,093
I don't need to work on a set.
229
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,129
- Yeah, 'bout that.
230
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:08,132
Gene doesn't really want
you doin' the characters.
231
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,834
- What?
232
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,769
- He thinks they're too local.
233
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,071
You know this is a national
spot, you gotta do jokes
234
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,739
that go over in Idaho.
235
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,208
- Idaho?
236
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,477
What am I gonna do?
237
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,845
An impression of a potato?
238
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:21,745
- Ah.
239
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:28,219
It's between you
and Heather Chase.
240
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,687
- What?
241
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,489
Are you fucking shitting me?
242
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:32,607
Heather?
243
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:33,724
She's only been doing it
six months and she sucks.
244
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,926
- Yeah, that doesn't matter.
245
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,528
She's got the look
and everybody loves--
246
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,796
- Well, it matters to me.
247
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:40,064
I got integrity.
248
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,632
Remember when we
saw Richard Pryor?
249
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,733
He set the bar high.
250
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,602
We were going for somethin'.
251
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:47,605
- Said the man in
the leaf costume.
252
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:51,592
- Fuck it.
253
00:11:51,593 --> 00:11:52,575
Fuck Gene, fuck the audition.
254
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,111
I'm not doin' it.
255
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:56,046
- All right, Sweeney,
Sweeney, Sweeney, hold on.
256
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,915
Let's be honest with each other.
257
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,551
You're not gonna get many
more chances like this.
258
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,620
I know it sucks, I really do.
259
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:03,888
You know.
260
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,957
But even if you don't
get the cable special,
261
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:10,160
you'll always be
the Character King.
262
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:11,962
No one can take
that away from ya.
263
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:15,199
- Yeah, Character King
with no characters.
264
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,535
All right, I'll think about it.
265
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:22,239
But you have gotta get me outta
this before I kill myself.
266
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:29,847
First time I had sex,
it was in the backseat
267
00:12:29,849 --> 00:12:32,283
of my boyfriend's father's car.
268
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,986
With my boyfriend's
father, yeah.
269
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,888
Sex, do not enjoy sex.
270
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,793
It is for procreation only.
271
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,094
Read the label.
272
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:48,265
If you don't look at
it as procreation,
273
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:52,736
if you look at it as
pleasure, you will go to hell.
274
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,239
Yeah.
275
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,777
- You were really funny.
276
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,312
- Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank thank you.
277
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,781
Support local comedy.
278
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,182
Otherwise, I have to mug ya.
279
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:06,617
Hey, goodnight.
280
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,785
Thank you very much.
281
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,329
Who's there?
282
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:26,770
♪ Well, if only they
had checked to see ♪
283
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,373
♪ He mighta opened
up his heart ♪
284
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,335
- Hey,
what should I do?
285
00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,305
- You know the shit
I've been through.
286
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,074
They didn't even want
me auditionin' for TV.
287
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,276
One fuckin' swear
and it was all over.
288
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,113
Thank fuckin' god for cable!
289
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,015
But you know what?
290
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,316
You can't let it worry ya.
291
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,918
Come on, we're almost there.
292
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,022
Keep up.
293
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,225
- Jesus Christ,
was that eight flights?
294
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,778
- Yep, come on, almost done.
- I know.
295
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,330
Are we doin' flight for one
of these charity's things?
296
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,699
We're climbin' for restless
legs or we're climbin'
297
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,402
for irritable bowels or
erectile disfunction?
298
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,671
- Okay, Sweeney.
299
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,939
This is gonna make the
hike all worthwhile.
300
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,174
Yes, indeed.
301
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,375
- Wow, I was wondering
what we were doin'.
302
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,710
- Come on over here
and help me out.
303
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,028
Make yourself useful.
304
00:14:41,029 --> 00:14:42,345
Pull up that shade, but
don't pull it all the way up.
305
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,281
- Not all the way.
306
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:45,115
- Nope.
307
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,050
Ah, a little bit more.
308
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,084
That's perfect right there.
309
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:47,985
Atta boy.
310
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,290
Listen, if there's one thing
I learned in this business,
311
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,459
you gotta do what
makes you happy.
312
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,896
Sure, I had the broads,
the booze, the drugs,
313
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,131
the movies, the TV
show, but you know
314
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,166
what really made me happy?
315
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,901
- All of it.
- Absolutely.
316
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,735
- You
better believe it.
317
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,405
- But at the end of the day, I
was doin' what I wanted to do
318
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,741
and that's the key.
319
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,977
See, Sweeney, comedy
is introspection.
320
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,446
Everybody knows that.
321
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,282
Whether you're lookin'
for the perfect punchline
322
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,017
or the perfect comeback,
323
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,387
what we all basically are
lookin' for is approval.
324
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,756
Comedy comes from within.
325
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,293
If it doesn't manage to
finish on the outside,
326
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,328
nobody's laughin'.
327
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,031
You wanna know what to do?
328
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,966
Look in there.
329
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,035
And let me look in here.
330
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:41,004
Oh, you're new.
331
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:41,905
Oh, oh.
332
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,777
Oh, Gladys is back.
333
00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,915
You musta got your hip fixed.
334
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,984
Oh, look at you.
335
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,053
That's my little bundle.
336
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,257
Don't you judge me, Sweeney.
337
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,059
Don't you fuckin' dare judge me!
338
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:03,494
- I'm not judgin' ya.
339
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,130
I just don't feel comfortable
while you're doin' this.
340
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,498
- Oh, get out.
341
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,398
Get out!
342
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:14,388
Oh, oh, oh.
343
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:15,538
Is that a downward
dog for daddy?
344
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,007
Yeah.
345
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:18,075
Oh!
346
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,177
Stretch up, reach the sun.
347
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,513
Reach for the, oh yes, yes!
348
00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,116
That's my Gladys.
349
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,351
Oh.
350
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:28,252
Yeah.
351
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:33,791
- Grateful Dead's one of the
greatest bands of all time,
352
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,793
never had a number one hit.
353
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,795
"Friend of the Devil,"
it's a great song,
354
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,296
but is it better
than "Shake It Off?"
355
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,064
Yeah, I think so.
356
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,267
But just because it didn't
make it to number one,
357
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:44,802
that shouldn't matter.
358
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,204
- I'm not sure I
can follow this.
359
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:50,073
- Being true to yourself
is what matters,
360
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,377
unless what you seek
changes the truth.
361
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,981
Then maybe it's the real
truth that you seek.
362
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,317
- Yeah, I can see that.
363
00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:01,919
Sort of.
364
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:02,820
- 'Scuse me?
365
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:03,554
- What?
366
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,855
- Can I get my sausage already?
367
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,156
- "Get my sausage?"
368
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:07,558
Can you hold on
one second, please?
369
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,593
My friend needs some
advice over here.
370
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,829
Let me talk to him
for one second.
371
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,397
Why don't you take
out your phone,
372
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:16,300
check your fuckin' Instant Dick
account there, Leather Lips?
373
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:18,135
- All right, Nick, I
can come back later.
374
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:18,969
- No, no!
375
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:19,903
Sweeney, it's all right!
376
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:21,605
Some people are just rude!
377
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:22,606
That'll be four bucks, sir.
378
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,107
- I already paid for it.
379
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,509
- Okay, here you go.
380
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,044
Uncircumcised, just
the way you like 'em.
381
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,512
- I agree with you
about the Dead, though.
382
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,380
- Oh, thank Christ,
I can sleep tonight.
383
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,582
Don't pander.
384
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:32,983
It's not becoming on you.
385
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:33,884
Next!
386
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,625
- I sucked in Little League.
387
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:44,628
My teammates used to
shout, "No batter,
388
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,532
"no batter, no batter"
when I was at bat.
389
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,104
My girlfriend dumped me.
390
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:57,241
Yeah, she threw all my
stuff out onto the sidewalk
391
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,876
and I live at home.
392
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,881
My cat sheds tears.
393
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,988
Thank you, good night.
394
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,103
- Tough set, huh?
395
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,437
- Yeah.
396
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,972
- You okay?
397
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,174
- I don't know, man.
398
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:32,276
That sucked.
399
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,344
- It really did.
400
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,613
Jesus, wow, they hated you.
401
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,382
And I can't blame 'em.
402
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,918
You know the guy in the back
who yelled out, "You suck?"
403
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,219
- Yeah, I think.
404
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,620
- Yeah, that was me.
405
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,590
I'm kidding.
406
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:47,591
These are jokes!
407
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,625
Come on!
408
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,227
You got good stuff.
409
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,128
You'll be all right.
410
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,562
Just stick with it.
411
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,098
If you stick with it,
you'll be miserable like me.
412
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,501
But you gotta stick with it.
413
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,137
- All right, come on, Sweeney.
414
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:00,938
We're waitin' for ya.
415
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,239
Let's go eat.
416
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,573
- That's Lily.
417
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:05,943
She's a human dark cloud.
- Oh, come on.
418
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:06,576
- You all right?
419
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:07,711
- Yeah, thanks Sweeney.
420
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,151
- So, it's an all-girls college.
421
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,719
200 girls sittin'
there lookin' at me.
422
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,121
You know what my
openin' line was?
423
00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,623
I don't think I
brought enough condoms.
424
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,125
Killed.
425
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,696
- Anyway, what were you saying?
426
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,731
- If I do the characters,
Gene's gonna give
427
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:30,351
the show to Heather.
428
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:32,970
- I think you owe it to
yourself to drop the characters.
429
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,004
You don't need to do them.
430
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,738
- Really?
431
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,074
- I did a benefit for a church.
432
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:38,608
There were nuns in the crowd.
433
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:42,079
Priest comes up to me
before the show, blesses me,
434
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,747
then tells me no bad language.
435
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,248
You know what my
opening line was?
436
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,750
How the fuck is everybody?
437
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,151
Killed.
438
00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:49,653
Then I did the joke
about how my penis looks
439
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,088
like my grandmother.
440
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,255
You know that bit.
441
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,490
Killed.
442
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,559
I got nuns doubled
over with laughter.
443
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,260
They don't even know
what a penis is.
444
00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,262
I didn't compromise.
445
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:02,099
- It's not compromising, Frank.
446
00:20:02,101 --> 00:20:03,767
It's an adjustment.
447
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,702
It's okay to adjust.
448
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,238
- Let me remind you,
when I first moved here,
449
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,440
all I heard was Sweeney,
Sweeney, Sweeney,
450
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,676
like you were the only
comic that mattered.
451
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:16,179
Now, the guys you started
with, they moved on.
452
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,348
Sitcoms, movies, talk shows.
453
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:21,084
But you're still here,
you're still doin' it.
454
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,319
You know why?
455
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:23,754
'Cause you're the
Character King.
456
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,255
Why would you fuck with that?
457
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:29,226
- Okay, so what do you
think I should do, Lily?
458
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:32,496
- By the way, I saw Heather
totally fuckin' kill
459
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,031
the other night.
460
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,499
Now, she's got two
things goin' for her.
461
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,701
Every woman in the
audience wants to be her,
462
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,770
and every guy wants to fuck her.
463
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,138
And she's funny.
464
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,340
I heard she's movin' to L.A.
465
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,076
I think she's gonna be famous.
466
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:47,711
What?
467
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,084
- I don't know, Jonathan.
468
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,552
I'm at a crossroads.
469
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,622
I feel like my whole life
hangs in the balance.
470
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,725
- You do understand Sweeney
that I'm not really a therapist?
471
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,794
I'm still gonna
have to charge you.
472
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:09,066
- This could be my last chance
to do something really big.
473
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,070
- See, I think you have to
remember that life is not
474
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,504
about last chances.
475
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,075
But having said that,
I see what you mean.
476
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:22,112
Sometimes in our work,
as in life, the lines
477
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:24,114
between comfort and
love are blurred.
478
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,084
And sometimes, we need
a challenge in order
479
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,819
to grow as a person.
480
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:32,456
It might be painful, but
change is what you need.
481
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,091
- Huh.
482
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,792
That makes sense.
483
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,861
- I'm so glad it makes sense
to you because I don't have
484
00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,596
a fuckin' clue.
485
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:40,497
- Oh.
486
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,133
You know what?
487
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,801
That's what I need.
488
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,370
I need a challenge.
489
00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:49,339
I need to shake things up.
490
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:50,740
Yeah.
491
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:51,842
Thank you, Jonathan.
492
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:52,709
- Sure.
493
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,481
Oh, hey Nicole, did I ever
tell you that my uncle used
494
00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:01,318
to be a prominent
judge in New York City?
495
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,387
And now, he's a wino
living in Central Park,
496
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:06,857
but out of respect,
people still say,
497
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,892
"May I approach the bench?"
498
00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,128
I think that's sweet.
499
00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:16,533
- Hey, not for nothin',
how come we're doin' this
500
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:18,201
when you're right over there?
501
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:21,638
- For me, it's
technology, I love it.
502
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,609
And it seems like it's
more sanitary this way.
503
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,181
- Okay, they just
wanna reshoot the end
504
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,183
where you almost
fell off the ladder.
505
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,684
- George, I made up my mind.
506
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:35,886
- That's great.
507
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:37,420
Go change behind the tree.
508
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,222
- I'm gonna do the audition.
509
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:40,790
I'm gonna drop the characters
and then do the audition.
510
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:41,925
- Ah, that's just great.
511
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:43,410
It's fantastic.
- I feel good about it.
512
00:22:43,411 --> 00:22:44,894
- I got a really good
feelin' about this.
513
00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:45,729
- Me too, me too.
- Now, would you go
514
00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:47,197
behind the tree?
515
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,498
- Hey Sweeney!
- Yeah.
516
00:22:48,499 --> 00:22:49,798
- I just wanted to say we
really love your stuff.
517
00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:51,985
- Great.
518
00:22:51,986 --> 00:22:54,170
- I have a Gutter
Guys hat just for you.
519
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:56,339
- Thank you.
520
00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:57,507
I'm good, but thank you.
521
00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:58,742
- Sweeney?
522
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:01,411
Oh, don't worry about him.
523
00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:02,746
He'll be fine.
524
00:23:02,748 --> 00:23:04,381
He's just got a lot on
his mind, that's all.
525
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,449
It's gonna be great.
526
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:07,751
Let me just say that.
527
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:08,952
He loves gutters.
528
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:11,221
He talks about gutters all day.
529
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,757
Just gutters, gutters,
gutters, all day long.
530
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:15,776
Can't get enough.
531
00:23:15,777 --> 00:23:17,794
Sometimes I will go home, I'll
be tryin' to get some rest,
532
00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,763
he'll call me up, "Could we
talk more about gutters?"
533
00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:21,698
And I go, "Come on, enough
with the gutters for today."
534
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,967
He was in a band
called the Downspouts.
535
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,368
Can you believe that?
536
00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:26,570
It's gonna be great.
537
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,238
I'll go get him and
we'll take care of this.
538
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,208
You guys just stay
there and keep doin'...
539
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,809
Huge fan of gutters.
540
00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:34,211
Huge.
541
00:23:39,318 --> 00:23:40,517
- So I travel.
542
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:43,286
Went to San Francisco recently.
543
00:23:43,288 --> 00:23:44,654
Got my nipples pierced.
544
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:48,258
Don't worry, they
caught the guy.
545
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,296
That's my time.
546
00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:54,364
Thank you, good night.
547
00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:58,668
- Oh, Heather Chase, folks.
548
00:23:58,670 --> 00:23:59,769
Let her know.
549
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,705
Wow!
550
00:24:01,706 --> 00:24:03,640
Heather's gonna be auditionin'
for her own comedy special,
551
00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:05,008
so she'll be back.
552
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:06,743
Let's wish her luck.
553
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:16,786
- Nice set, Heather.
554
00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,321
- Thanks.
555
00:24:18,323 --> 00:24:20,590
Oh, you mean the show.
556
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:23,994
- I guess it's down to me and
you for this cable special.
557
00:24:23,996 --> 00:24:25,996
You must be nervous?
558
00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:27,664
- I don't get nervous, Sweeney.
559
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:28,732
I get ready.
560
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:33,770
And I am gonna nail that
audition and get the special.
561
00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:36,006
- Huh, pretty sure of yourself.
562
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,707
Why's that?
563
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:38,942
- Well, I have something
that you don't have.
564
00:24:38,944 --> 00:24:41,878
- Something I don't have?
565
00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:43,980
Tits.
566
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:45,882
- No.
567
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:47,784
Balls.
568
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,332
- So, I'm outta practice
pickin' up women.
569
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:06,002
My line used to be,
I'd say to a woman,
570
00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:09,773
"Listen, when you're done
vomiting, can I get your number?"
571
00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:12,876
I went to the bar.
572
00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:16,980
These two women, they'll
talkin' about a three way.
573
00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:19,349
I'm thinkin', "Jesus, I
can't even get into a rotary.
574
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,717
"How do you merge?
575
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,953
"Which car goes in first?"
576
00:25:27,492 --> 00:25:28,625
You guys have been
a great crowd.
577
00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:29,592
Thank you.
578
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:49,172
Jimmy?
579
00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:00,150
- You've gotta call the
police, get these punks
580
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:02,152
off the street.
581
00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:03,787
- I saw who did it.
582
00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:05,622
- Then you should
definitely call the police.
583
00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,425
- It was Jimmy.
- Who's Jimmy?
584
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:10,427
- Jimmy, you know.
585
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:11,161
- Who the hell is that?
586
00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:12,195
- Jimmy, from my act.
587
00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:13,463
Jimmy.
588
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:14,697
- You're Jimmy from your act.
589
00:27:14,699 --> 00:27:16,599
- No, it was Jimmy.
- Right.
590
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:18,101
And you're Jimmy.
591
00:27:18,103 --> 00:27:19,469
So you mean he looked like you?
592
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:20,170
- No, no, no, no.
593
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:21,571
It was Jimmy.
594
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:22,605
It was Jimmy.
595
00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:23,940
He had a broomstick.
596
00:27:23,942 --> 00:27:25,475
- Why are we whispering?
597
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:26,709
- It was Jimmy.
598
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:27,877
- What the hell are
we talkin' about?
599
00:27:27,879 --> 00:27:28,778
- Jimmy!
600
00:27:41,893 --> 00:27:43,092
- What happened to your head?
601
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,794
- I cut it shavin'.
602
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:46,029
- Oh.
603
00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:47,530
That sucks.
- Yeah.
604
00:27:47,532 --> 00:27:48,698
- I can't wait to shave.
605
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:49,599
- Mm.
606
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:53,203
- So, you're still comin'
to my class, right?
607
00:27:53,205 --> 00:27:54,871
- Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah.
608
00:27:54,873 --> 00:27:55,738
I'm comin' to your class.
- Hey.
609
00:27:57,976 --> 00:27:58,592
- Hi.
- Hi.
610
00:27:58,593 --> 00:27:59,209
- Sweeney, this is Carla Fisher.
611
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:00,743
- Ah, wow.
- Hi.
612
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:03,246
- This your girlfriend?
613
00:28:03,248 --> 00:28:05,582
I underestimated you.
614
00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:07,083
- Uh, my mother.
615
00:28:07,085 --> 00:28:09,219
- Oh, your mother.
616
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:10,487
Nice to meet you.
617
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:11,221
- Thank you.
618
00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:12,489
I've heard a lot about you.
619
00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:13,590
- My mom's a
documentary film maker.
620
00:28:13,592 --> 00:28:14,958
- Okay.
621
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,192
The Happy Guy.
622
00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:20,129
- I would love it if
you could watch it.
623
00:28:20,131 --> 00:28:22,232
- It won first place at the
North Dakota Film Festival.
624
00:28:22,234 --> 00:28:25,235
- And I sent it to
Sundance, fingers crossed.
625
00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:26,536
- Yes!
626
00:28:26,537 --> 00:28:27,836
It's about a guy who
lives under a bridge
627
00:28:27,839 --> 00:28:29,205
with a lot of pigeons.
628
00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:31,174
- Ah, nature movie.
629
00:28:31,175 --> 00:28:33,142
- Well, also they actually
poop on him so much,
630
00:28:33,144 --> 00:28:34,577
he dies from poop poison.
631
00:28:34,579 --> 00:28:36,112
- You can die from that?
632
00:28:36,114 --> 00:28:39,649
- Well, he had
other health issues.
633
00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,584
But listen, let me
get to the point.
634
00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:44,821
I think you would make
an amazing subject
635
00:28:44,823 --> 00:28:46,189
for a documentary.
636
00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:47,257
- Really?
637
00:28:47,259 --> 00:28:48,658
- Yeah, yeah.
638
00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:50,827
I like stories about
people that have fallen
639
00:28:50,829 --> 00:28:52,529
between the cracks.
640
00:28:52,531 --> 00:28:54,797
They're lost in No Man's Land.
641
00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:55,899
They get--
642
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,534
- Pooped on.
- Pooped on sometimes.
643
00:28:57,536 --> 00:28:59,569
Not pooped on, but overlooked.
644
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,604
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
645
00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:03,706
Justin, I appreciate
what you're tryin' to do,
646
00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:05,842
but I didn't fall
through any cracks.
647
00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:08,044
I don't live under a bridge.
648
00:29:08,046 --> 00:29:10,046
What am I, some
kind of freak show?
649
00:29:10,048 --> 00:29:11,281
- No, of course not.
650
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:14,183
- What am I, the Elephant Man?
- Who?
651
00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:15,218
- Listen, listen.
652
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:16,920
I'm trying to help you.
653
00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:18,154
- How?
654
00:29:18,156 --> 00:29:20,557
By makin' me into
some kind of loser?
655
00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:23,159
- How about a documentary
about your life
656
00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,261
up on the big screen?
657
00:29:25,263 --> 00:29:26,796
- I don't know.
658
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:28,898
No.
659
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:30,800
- Come on, you have
the story Sweeney
660
00:29:30,802 --> 00:29:32,835
that film festivals love.
661
00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:35,905
This could open all
kinds of doors for you.
662
00:29:35,907 --> 00:29:37,874
Movies and television.
663
00:29:37,876 --> 00:29:42,946
Local comedy legend finally
gets his shot at the big time.
664
00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:46,249
Is he gonna get the comedy
special that propels him
665
00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:49,686
to Hollywood, or is
he gonna, will he...
666
00:29:49,688 --> 00:29:51,654
- Is he gonna, will he what?
667
00:29:51,656 --> 00:29:53,356
- You tell me.
668
00:29:54,926 --> 00:29:56,259
- Who's the Elephant Man?
669
00:29:56,261 --> 00:30:00,296
- You don't
have to raise your hand.
670
00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:03,132
- Oh hey, did ya
enjoy your time?
671
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:04,701
Make sure you take a card.
672
00:30:04,703 --> 00:30:05,602
Or a pen.
673
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:07,737
So I've got my number on it.
674
00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:08,972
Take a mint.
675
00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:11,808
No, believe me, take a mint.
676
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,277
- George, George?
677
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,745
Where'd you go?
678
00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,313
- Oh, yeah, a documentary.
679
00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:18,381
No, no.
680
00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:20,183
Sweeney, couldn't be happier.
681
00:30:20,185 --> 00:30:21,184
That's great.
682
00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:22,318
No, terrific.
683
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,820
- Oh yeah, that's what I said.
684
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:24,921
I jumped all over it.
685
00:30:24,923 --> 00:30:26,155
No brainer.
686
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:27,090
- All right, all
right, I gotta go.
687
00:30:27,092 --> 00:30:27,924
All right, thanks.
688
00:30:27,926 --> 00:30:29,158
All right, bye.
689
00:30:41,306 --> 00:30:42,705
- So, I thought the
show went pretty well.
690
00:30:42,707 --> 00:30:43,906
- You did great.
691
00:30:43,908 --> 00:30:45,642
- Thank you, you too.
- I thought that
692
00:30:45,644 --> 00:30:46,142
your new stuff was great.
- Oh, I appreciate that.
693
00:30:47,379 --> 00:30:49,379
- I thought it did.
694
00:30:49,381 --> 00:30:50,313
- Yeah.
695
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,084
- Oh, anyway, so this woman
comes up to me after my set,
696
00:30:56,087 --> 00:31:00,690
and she goes, "Why do you talk
about your vagina so much?"
697
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,926
I'm like, "Because I
don't have a dick."
698
00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:04,827
Right?
699
00:31:07,432 --> 00:31:09,298
- So, what do
you think of Sweeney?
700
00:31:09,300 --> 00:31:10,700
- Oh, Sweeney's great.
701
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,735
I've only been doin'
comedy a few years,
702
00:31:12,737 --> 00:31:14,737
but he's got me gigs.
703
00:31:17,776 --> 00:31:19,442
I've opened for him a few times.
704
00:31:19,444 --> 00:31:21,210
He's very helpful.
705
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,279
- Are
you wearing a bra?
706
00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:24,247
- Justin!
707
00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:34,123
- Hey, Sweeney.
708
00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,258
How ya doin'?
709
00:31:40,131 --> 00:31:43,199
So, last year, Sweeney and I
did an overnight corporate gig
710
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:44,801
up in northern Minn.
711
00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:46,302
You know, where
everyone's related
712
00:31:46,304 --> 00:31:47,704
and share each other's teeth.
713
00:31:47,706 --> 00:31:49,472
We drove down together.
714
00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:51,441
Long drive, but we had fun.
715
00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:52,975
Show went great.
716
00:31:54,312 --> 00:31:55,912
I opened.
717
00:31:55,914 --> 00:31:57,413
Sweeney closed.
718
00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:59,415
Then we went back to the motel
719
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:02,118
and that's when
things got weird.
720
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,388
So, we were sitting on the bed.
721
00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:08,057
One thing leads to another.
722
00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:11,394
And the next thing you know,
we're talking about how much
723
00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:13,496
we got paid for the gig.
724
00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:15,832
That was a mistake, I know.
725
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,036
Turns out we were
getting paid the same.
726
00:32:20,038 --> 00:32:21,804
Sweeney was pissed.
727
00:32:22,507 --> 00:32:25,775
He thought he should
be getting paid more.
728
00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,010
But I'm a good comic, too.
729
00:32:33,051 --> 00:32:34,884
I think he's jealous.
730
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,487
In fact, I know he is.
731
00:32:39,324 --> 00:32:40,857
He should be.
732
00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:43,159
- So, did you and Sweeney...
733
00:32:45,463 --> 00:32:46,963
Were you a couple?
734
00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:49,398
- Me and Sweeney?
735
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,533
Sex?
736
00:32:50,535 --> 00:32:51,768
No.
737
00:32:51,770 --> 00:32:53,436
No.
738
00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:54,904
- Are
you wearing a bra?
739
00:32:54,906 --> 00:32:56,072
- Justin.
740
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:58,374
- Are you wearing a brain?
741
00:32:58,376 --> 00:33:00,910
- Wait, wait.
742
00:33:00,911 --> 00:33:03,445
You gave Heather the
Gutter Guys commercial?
743
00:33:03,448 --> 00:33:05,548
Are you managing her now?
744
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,483
- No, I'm
not managing her now.
745
00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:08,551
Technically.
746
00:33:09,854 --> 00:33:12,021
They needed somebody,
she's hot right now.
747
00:33:12,023 --> 00:33:13,189
You didn't wanna do it.
748
00:33:13,191 --> 00:33:14,490
Remember that part.
749
00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:15,458
Yeah, I...
750
00:33:15,460 --> 00:33:16,526
Yeah, no.
751
00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:18,027
Hang on a second.
752
00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:19,428
I'm dealing with people
that just stepped out
753
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:20,997
of an IKEA catalog.
754
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:23,966
Yeah, hasn't changed
in nine hours.
755
00:33:25,136 --> 00:33:27,136
It's still oil heat.
756
00:33:27,138 --> 00:33:30,473
They were experimenting
with the fire from a dragon.
757
00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:33,910
But the food costs
were just too high.
758
00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:42,451
- Are you gonna film everything?
759
00:33:42,453 --> 00:33:43,986
- It's a documentary.
760
00:33:43,988 --> 00:33:45,555
I'm documenting.
761
00:33:45,557 --> 00:33:47,523
- Look, I'm done with this.
762
00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:49,392
It's just business.
763
00:33:49,394 --> 00:33:51,194
You gotta understand.
764
00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:01,904
- Good morning.
765
00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:03,005
- Yeah, what can I get for you?
766
00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:04,373
- I want a breakfast sandwich.
767
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:05,875
I don't want it on a croissant.
768
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:06,843
I want it on an English
muffin, no cheese.
769
00:34:07,946 --> 00:34:08,978
- No cheese?
770
00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:10,046
- No cheese.
771
00:34:11,249 --> 00:34:12,181
- How about American?
772
00:34:12,183 --> 00:34:13,916
- No cheese.
773
00:34:13,918 --> 00:34:14,984
Are you gonna get this?
774
00:34:14,986 --> 00:34:16,118
You're texting.
775
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:17,420
- I'm not texting, I'm Tweeting.
776
00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:18,855
You want cheddar?
777
00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:20,590
- I do not want cheese.
778
00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:22,625
Are you still Tweeting?
779
00:34:22,627 --> 00:34:24,861
- No, now I'm actually texting.
780
00:34:24,863 --> 00:34:26,562
But I have a good memory.
781
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:28,231
I'll be right back.
782
00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:32,201
- Hey, Sweeney.
783
00:34:34,038 --> 00:34:36,539
Wake up and smell the
powder, you back-stabbin'
784
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:40,977
son of a bitch.
785
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,226
- Here's your sprinkle donut.
786
00:34:57,228 --> 00:34:59,295
No cheese, just cheddar.
787
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,432
- Are you fucking shitting me?
788
00:35:05,536 --> 00:35:07,670
- It's not a bullet wound.
789
00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:08,905
This is a scratch.
790
00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:09,906
They're completely different.
791
00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:10,573
Bullets leave holes.
792
00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:12,375
- It was Fitzy.
793
00:35:12,377 --> 00:35:13,609
It was Fitzy.
- Oh, no!
794
00:35:13,611 --> 00:35:14,944
No, no.
795
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:15,945
We're not doin' this again.
796
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:16,646
- That was Fitzy.
797
00:35:16,648 --> 00:35:18,080
He tried to kill me.
798
00:35:18,082 --> 00:35:19,682
- Come on, first it was
Jimmy, now it's Fitzy.
799
00:35:19,684 --> 00:35:21,684
What are you trying to tell me?
800
00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:24,487
That somehow, through
some kinda magical spell
801
00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:28,491
or an alternative universe,
the fictitious characters
802
00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:31,327
you've created for your own
act, they've somehow come
803
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:33,229
to life and they're
trying to kill you?
804
00:35:33,231 --> 00:35:34,597
- Yes.
805
00:35:34,599 --> 00:35:35,932
- No, no, you're not doin' this.
806
00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:37,266
You're tryin' to
sabotage the audition
807
00:35:37,268 --> 00:35:38,534
because you're afraid.
808
00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:40,169
- Look, I'm not
afraid of an audition.
809
00:35:40,171 --> 00:35:41,938
- Yeah, maybe not the audition.
810
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:44,307
But you're afraid of
what you might find out,
811
00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:49,378
which is being Character
King doesn't mean that much.
812
00:35:50,048 --> 00:35:51,314
That came out wrong.
813
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:52,515
I'm sorry, I didn't
mean that, Sweeney.
814
00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:53,449
I didn't.
815
00:35:53,451 --> 00:35:54,550
- It's okay, it's okay.
816
00:35:54,552 --> 00:35:55,451
That's it.
817
00:35:55,453 --> 00:36:00,990
I throw them out of my act,
then they try to kill me.
818
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,560
- You ever stop to think,
Sweeney, that maybe there's
819
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:09,065
a bookie or a jealous husband,
maybe an ex-girlfriend,
820
00:36:09,067 --> 00:36:12,368
somebody real, might
wanna see ya dead?
821
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,371
- They all wanna see me dead.
822
00:36:15,373 --> 00:36:16,973
That's not what
I'm talkin' about.
823
00:36:16,975 --> 00:36:18,741
The fictitious ones are
the ones who are tryin'
824
00:36:18,743 --> 00:36:20,710
to actually do it!
825
00:36:20,712 --> 00:36:22,745
- Okay, you
know what you need?
826
00:36:22,747 --> 00:36:24,480
- What?
827
00:36:24,482 --> 00:36:28,517
- You need a real shower, and
I need to get us some coffee.
828
00:36:28,519 --> 00:36:30,486
Stop playin' with that.
829
00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:35,391
- Sweeney, my man!
830
00:36:35,393 --> 00:36:36,559
It's Justin.
831
00:36:36,561 --> 00:36:37,460
Just toon.
832
00:36:37,462 --> 00:36:40,496
Thinking about using
that for my stage name.
833
00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:43,099
Uh, you're still comin'
to my class, right bro?
834
00:36:43,101 --> 00:36:45,668
I'm almost done
with my assignment.
835
00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,470
My dad's gonna proof
it, make a few changes.
836
00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:48,738
I think you'll like it.
837
00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:50,106
I'm at my mom's.
838
00:36:50,108 --> 00:36:51,574
Call me back.
839
00:36:51,576 --> 00:36:52,475
Okay, bro.
840
00:36:53,444 --> 00:36:54,343
Brosky.
841
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,245
Later on.
842
00:36:57,181 --> 00:36:59,015
- Ah, that's funny.
843
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,457
George?
844
00:37:08,459 --> 00:37:09,358
You back?
845
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,234
Mother fuckin'!
846
00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:23,139
Fuckin' Jesus, mother fuckin'!
847
00:37:23,141 --> 00:37:26,375
What the fuck is
goin' on around here?
848
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:32,248
Stay away from me, you old hag!
849
00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,516
Oh, not you, June.
850
00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:36,519
It's just someone's
tryin' to kill me.
851
00:37:36,521 --> 00:37:38,187
Hey, say hi to Sal.
852
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,359
- Was that Mary
Ellen that just ran past?
853
00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:44,260
- Yeah.
854
00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:48,330
- She's even uglier
as a real person.
855
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,500
- I heard that.
856
00:37:51,502 --> 00:37:54,570
You're no box a
chocolates yourself!
857
00:37:57,809 --> 00:38:02,078
- Now I'm takin' shit from
a fictional character?
858
00:38:04,816 --> 00:38:06,449
Yeah nah, it's nothing big.
859
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:08,250
You were lucky this time.
860
00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:11,220
- Maybe I should kill them.
861
00:38:11,222 --> 00:38:13,622
- Look, don't do
anything stupid.
862
00:38:13,624 --> 00:38:18,461
If somethin' happens to them,
doesn't summin' happen to you?
863
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:19,628
- I don't know.
864
00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:21,464
I don't know how this works.
865
00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:24,700
- Okay, first thing we gotta
do is cancel that audition.
866
00:38:24,702 --> 00:38:25,801
- Oh, no.
867
00:38:26,871 --> 00:38:29,438
That's exactly what they want.
868
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,108
- Okay, listen, I got a cousin.
869
00:38:32,110 --> 00:38:33,809
He's got a place down the Cape.
870
00:38:33,811 --> 00:38:37,346
You go down tomorrow, you
sit by the ocean, relax.
871
00:38:38,382 --> 00:38:39,615
Breathe some salt air.
872
00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:41,250
It'll clear your head.
873
00:38:41,252 --> 00:38:43,119
- It's gonna take
more than salt air
874
00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:45,788
to get rid of these freaks.
875
00:38:45,790 --> 00:38:49,859
- Comics have a natural
self-destructive nature.
876
00:38:51,229 --> 00:38:53,129
Why else would we get on
stage in the first place?
877
00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,264
Other than to get laid.
878
00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:58,300
The thing is it's our subconscious
that will do all sorts
879
00:38:58,302 --> 00:38:59,802
of things to protect us.
880
00:38:59,804 --> 00:39:03,272
Which begs the question,
what are you afraid of?
881
00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:04,907
- I don't know.
882
00:39:04,909 --> 00:39:06,542
Failure.
883
00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:07,443
Success.
884
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,446
Everything in between.
885
00:39:10,448 --> 00:39:12,281
- What about bees?
886
00:39:12,283 --> 00:39:16,352
I have this profound fear
of all flying insects,
887
00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:21,857
but especially bees and
the North American Wasp.
888
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:24,660
In fact, I used to see
a behavioral therapist
889
00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:29,398
and she had a tiny waist, and
I end up thinking one day,
890
00:39:30,701 --> 00:39:32,935
"Well, how do I know
that she's not with them?
891
00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:34,503
"Not their queen?"
892
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,507
Anyway, the first week,
she puts me alone in a room
893
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:41,210
with three or four dead bees.
894
00:39:41,913 --> 00:39:45,614
And then a week later,
six or seven live bees.
895
00:39:45,616 --> 00:39:48,284
And then I come
back the next month
896
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:52,655
and I'm alone in a room
with a dead horse's head.
897
00:39:52,657 --> 00:39:55,324
I mean the head of a dead horse.
898
00:39:55,326 --> 00:39:57,726
I have to assume it was dead.
899
00:39:57,728 --> 00:39:59,762
And I don't like to beat
a dead horse, but it's not
900
00:39:59,764 --> 00:40:01,263
the worst thing I've ever done.
901
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:07,603
- He was amazing, really.
902
00:40:07,605 --> 00:40:10,973
He had no family, no
friends, but he claimed
903
00:40:10,975 --> 00:40:14,710
that he was happy living
under that bridge.
904
00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:17,613
Gees, the guy had
a master's degree.
905
00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,882
He did not have
to be under there,
906
00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:22,952
but he wanted to
be true to himself.
907
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:27,456
And I guess I felt
a connection to him.
908
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,593
To his passion.
909
00:40:31,862 --> 00:40:35,497
- Well, with all due
respect, the guy's an idiot.
910
00:40:38,536 --> 00:40:41,971
- This might sound
cold, but I don't know
911
00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:47,843
if I would've won that award
if it wasn't for him dying.
912
00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:52,948
The dying is what really
made that movie special.
913
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:54,016
- Hmm.
914
00:40:54,018 --> 00:40:58,721
Now I had always heard
that bird shit was lucky.
915
00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:01,790
- Guess not.
916
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,012
Are you all right?
917
00:41:23,014 --> 00:41:24,280
- I gotta go.
918
00:41:24,281 --> 00:41:25,547
I gotta get outta here.
- Whoa, what is it?
919
00:41:25,549 --> 00:41:26,348
- I gotta get outta here.
- Talk to me.
920
00:41:26,350 --> 00:41:27,583
- It's hard to explain.
921
00:41:27,585 --> 00:41:30,286
The characters in my
act have come to life.
922
00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:33,522
- They've come to life.
923
00:41:33,524 --> 00:41:35,024
- That's not the crazy part.
924
00:41:35,026 --> 00:41:37,393
The crazy part is they're
trying to kill me.
925
00:41:37,395 --> 00:41:38,594
- What?
926
00:41:38,596 --> 00:41:39,762
- Well, they've
already attacked me.
927
00:41:39,764 --> 00:41:40,996
My hand, my face.
928
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:42,064
They've attacked me.
929
00:41:42,066 --> 00:41:43,599
- Okay, time out.
930
00:41:43,601 --> 00:41:45,768
So you're telling me that
the imaginary characters
931
00:41:45,770 --> 00:41:48,037
from your act are
trying to kill you?
932
00:41:48,039 --> 00:41:49,438
- Yeah.
- What?
933
00:41:59,550 --> 00:42:01,083
Oh, my god, they're alive!
- They're alive.
934
00:42:01,085 --> 00:42:04,353
They're like the living dead,
except they were never alive.
935
00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:07,323
- Why didn't you tell
me about his before?
936
00:42:07,325 --> 00:42:08,991
- I thought I was
just going crazy.
937
00:42:08,993 --> 00:42:13,829
- For god's sakes,
film festivals love stories like this.
938
00:42:14,932 --> 00:42:17,733
This could get me the
Pom d'Or at Cannes.
939
00:42:17,735 --> 00:42:19,101
- Yeah, well it
could get me killed.
940
00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:21,036
- Where's my camera?
941
00:42:24,408 --> 00:42:26,642
Can you tell me your name?
942
00:42:27,745 --> 00:42:30,012
- 'Course I can, I've
known him for years.
943
00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:32,448
Oh, you want me to say it?
944
00:42:33,417 --> 00:42:35,050
Jimmy Yannel.
945
00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:39,388
I work for the Water
and Sewer Department.
946
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,857
- Can you tell me
a little about yourself?
947
00:42:41,859 --> 00:42:42,991
- I just did.
948
00:42:44,829 --> 00:42:46,829
- I love to knit.
949
00:42:46,831 --> 00:42:49,531
I knitted a scarf, mittens.
950
00:42:49,533 --> 00:42:53,602
Right now, I'm knittin'
a bathing suit.
951
00:42:55,139 --> 00:42:58,574
- So, are you
upset with Sweeney?
952
00:42:58,576 --> 00:42:59,608
- Yes, I am.
953
00:43:01,545 --> 00:43:03,579
He throws us out of his act.
954
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:07,015
He moves to Hollywood,
what do I get?
955
00:43:07,017 --> 00:43:08,450
Nothin'.
956
00:43:08,452 --> 00:43:10,386
Knit one, pearl two.
957
00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:12,654
Nothin'.
958
00:43:14,158 --> 00:43:15,891
- Sweeney?
959
00:43:15,893 --> 00:43:18,127
Totally self-centered.
960
00:43:18,129 --> 00:43:21,797
Fascist, misogynist, xenophobic.
961
00:43:21,799 --> 00:43:22,698
Me?
962
00:43:23,701 --> 00:43:25,701
I'm riding a Nomad bike.
963
00:43:25,703 --> 00:43:27,536
I've got it right in
the back of my Hummer.
964
00:43:27,538 --> 00:43:29,938
I'm doing a 60 minute bike ride
965
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,674
to save the endangered mosquito.
966
00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:36,078
That's a bee.
967
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:37,613
Don't even go there.
968
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:38,881
- Are you married?
969
00:43:38,883 --> 00:43:40,849
Do you have a girlfriend?
970
00:43:40,851 --> 00:43:42,584
- No, I do not.
971
00:43:42,586 --> 00:43:46,655
But in 1974, I kissed
Marie Akarelli on the lips
972
00:43:47,725 --> 00:43:51,059
for one full hour,
and I can still taste
973
00:43:52,096 --> 00:43:54,663
her beautiful Marlboro breath.
974
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,201
- I've been in Sweeney's
act for 20 years.
975
00:43:59,203 --> 00:44:04,039
It's like a prison sentence,
but without the prison sex.
976
00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:09,077
- Why do I wanna kill Sweeney?
977
00:44:09,079 --> 00:44:11,213
Well, let me tell
ya, sweetheart.
978
00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:13,816
Maybe 'cause I can't
stand the son of a bitch.
979
00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:16,518
Maybe because he's got no balls.
980
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,721
Now, is that clear enough
for ya, or would you like
981
00:44:19,723 --> 00:44:21,623
to spray Windex on it?
982
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:11,106
- What the fuck?
983
00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:30,025
What do you want?
984
00:45:30,027 --> 00:45:31,793
- It's not what
we want, Sweeney.
985
00:45:31,795 --> 00:45:33,262
It's what you want.
986
00:45:34,298 --> 00:45:36,865
- You want to leave us behind.
987
00:45:36,867 --> 00:45:38,700
- Hey listen, I just
wanna grow, okay?
988
00:45:38,702 --> 00:45:39,935
- Grow?
989
00:45:39,937 --> 00:45:42,671
- How much taller
do you wanna be?
990
00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:44,273
- Look at all this sand!
991
00:45:44,275 --> 00:45:47,142
I better start sweepin'
now, even though it's not
992
00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:49,244
a Monday or a Tuesday.
993
00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:52,180
- If you would just like put
us back in your act, Sweeney,
994
00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:54,249
we would like, just
like disappear.
995
00:45:54,251 --> 00:45:56,885
- Look, I can't put
you back in my act.
996
00:45:56,887 --> 00:45:59,555
If I put you back in my act,
then I won't go to Hollywood,
997
00:45:59,557 --> 00:46:01,089
I won't get the cable special.
998
00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:03,225
- My frickin' heart
bleeds for ya.
999
00:46:03,227 --> 00:46:05,794
- I'm tellin' your
mother, Sweeney.
1000
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:07,796
- So much goddamn sand!
1001
00:46:08,799 --> 00:46:10,332
- Look, it's not you, it's me.
1002
00:46:10,334 --> 00:46:11,934
I love you guys.
1003
00:46:13,037 --> 00:46:15,203
Come on, we had a lot
of great times together,
1004
00:46:15,205 --> 00:46:16,271
but it's over.
1005
00:46:16,273 --> 00:46:17,773
Let it go!
1006
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,708
- I guess that's it then.
1007
00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:21,310
- Okay, like goodbye?
1008
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:24,179
- Yeah, it's over.
1009
00:46:24,181 --> 00:46:25,347
Let's kill 'im.
1010
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:26,648
Come on, Sweeney!
1011
00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:29,217
Put 'em up, put up your dukes!
1012
00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:35,324
- Put up my dukes?
- Kill 'im, Fitzy.
1013
00:46:35,326 --> 00:46:38,961
- 'Scuse me, rude
to leave before we kill you.
1014
00:46:45,703 --> 00:46:48,937
- Jesus,
Mary and Joseph.
1015
00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:56,044
- Now I know how
a baby seal feels.
1016
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:03,885
- He's dead.
1017
00:47:03,887 --> 00:47:06,054
I told him buckle your helmet.
1018
00:47:06,056 --> 00:47:07,823
- Holy shit!
1019
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,858
You killed Marshall.
1020
00:47:09,860 --> 00:47:11,059
- I didn't kill 'im.
1021
00:47:11,061 --> 00:47:12,327
He fell.
1022
00:47:12,329 --> 00:47:14,313
- He
must be on crack.
1023
00:47:14,314 --> 00:47:16,298
- Let's kill Sweeney,
then we go somewhere else
1024
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:17,766
to bury the body.
1025
00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:21,169
- Kick him in the balls,
if you can find 'em.
1026
00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:23,305
- Now it's your turn
to die, Sweeney.
1027
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:27,909
All life started in the ocean,
and you're gonna die in it.
1028
00:47:27,911 --> 00:47:29,311
- Wait a minute.
1029
00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:33,849
That's it.
1030
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:35,417
I created you all.
1031
00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:39,721
All those nights on
stage, all those shows.
1032
00:47:39,723 --> 00:47:40,956
I created you.
1033
00:47:42,059 --> 00:47:46,161
You don't get rid of
me, I get rid of you.
1034
00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:47,763
- He is on crack.
1035
00:47:47,765 --> 00:47:49,097
- This is over.
1036
00:47:50,768 --> 00:47:54,369
I want you outta my life,
I want you outta my act.
1037
00:47:54,371 --> 00:47:58,006
I don't wanna be a
local celebrity anymore.
1038
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:02,344
I wanna be a big time celebrity.
1039
00:48:02,346 --> 00:48:04,312
I wanna go to Hollywood.
1040
00:48:04,314 --> 00:48:05,814
I wanna get a sitcom.
1041
00:48:05,816 --> 00:48:08,016
I wanna get a cable special.
1042
00:48:08,018 --> 00:48:10,719
Shit, I wanna get cable.
1043
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:15,057
I wanna be on the Celebrity
Family Feud, the Pyramid.
1044
00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:18,193
I wanna dance with
the fuckin' stars!
1045
00:48:21,098 --> 00:48:25,033
- Sweet Mary and Joseph, he
has lost his freakin' mind.
1046
00:48:25,035 --> 00:48:27,235
- I don't want you
people anymore.
1047
00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:28,470
I want you outta my life.
1048
00:48:28,472 --> 00:48:30,138
Go back to where you came from.
1049
00:48:30,140 --> 00:48:32,441
I want you gone for good.
1050
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:36,712
- That's what you want?
1051
00:48:36,714 --> 00:48:37,979
- Yeah!
1052
00:48:37,981 --> 00:48:39,314
That's what I want.
1053
00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:41,349
You're outta my life.
1054
00:48:41,351 --> 00:48:43,251
You're outta my act.
1055
00:48:43,253 --> 00:48:44,152
Go away.
1056
00:48:46,190 --> 00:48:47,155
It is over.
1057
00:49:07,377 --> 00:49:09,745
- Sweeney kicked us out.
1058
00:49:09,747 --> 00:49:11,747
What are you gonna do?
1059
00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:14,082
That's what the guy wants.
1060
00:49:14,084 --> 00:49:17,853
Sometimes people gotta
learn the hard way.
1061
00:49:30,434 --> 00:49:32,534
♪ And I'm takin' my time ♪
1062
00:49:32,536 --> 00:49:34,903
♪ I'm waiting for you ♪
1063
00:49:34,905 --> 00:49:37,405
♪ Words can't describe ♪
1064
00:49:37,407 --> 00:49:39,875
♪ The things that I do ♪
1065
00:49:39,877 --> 00:49:43,078
♪ Instead of waiting ♪
1066
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,480
♪ I slip out from the door ♪
1067
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:48,150
♪ The sun is shinin' ♪
1068
00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:50,886
♪ Brighter than before ♪
1069
00:49:50,888 --> 00:49:53,455
♪ I'm tired of waiting ♪
1070
00:49:53,457 --> 00:49:56,024
♪ Waiting for your touch ♪
1071
00:49:56,026 --> 00:49:58,794
♪ No hesitating ♪
1072
00:49:58,796 --> 00:50:00,495
♪ No more, thanks ♪
1073
00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:02,898
♪ Prima donna ♪
1074
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:05,300
♪ You know I wanna ♪
1075
00:50:05,302 --> 00:50:07,569
♪ Your drop-top Mercedes ♪
1076
00:50:07,571 --> 00:50:09,871
♪ Lipstick ♪
1077
00:50:12,042 --> 00:50:15,110
- Well, I always thought I'd
transition into another kind
1078
00:50:15,112 --> 00:50:18,380
of work, but just
never happened.
1079
00:50:18,382 --> 00:50:20,282
Comedy's like a curse.
1080
00:50:20,284 --> 00:50:23,552
It's not that easy to
just get rid of it.
1081
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:30,158
- So what happens if you
don't get the comedy special?
1082
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,227
- Life goes on.
1083
00:50:32,229 --> 00:50:36,231
I will always be able to
put food on the table.
1084
00:50:36,233 --> 00:50:38,834
Dishes, hoo, that's
another thing.
1085
00:50:40,470 --> 00:50:43,905
I've worked hard to establish
a reputation locally,
1086
00:50:43,907 --> 00:50:45,006
so I'm just--
1087
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:47,542
Hold on.
1088
00:50:49,446 --> 00:50:50,545
- Sweeney,
it's me, yeah.
1089
00:50:50,547 --> 00:50:52,113
I got you a gig for tonight.
1090
00:50:52,115 --> 00:50:54,449
Yeah, it's not much money,
it's two hours away.
1091
00:50:54,451 --> 00:50:55,884
Some PTO thing.
1092
00:50:55,886 --> 00:50:57,619
But at least it'll get
you away for the night.
1093
00:50:57,621 --> 00:50:58,620
You want it?
1094
00:50:58,622 --> 00:50:59,588
- Sure.
1095
00:50:59,590 --> 00:51:01,122
I gotta go, sorry.
1096
00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:02,357
- Where?
1097
00:51:02,359 --> 00:51:04,092
- I gotta gig.
1098
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:07,229
- Oh, well, I'll come.
1099
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:09,531
- No, it's not a gig gig.
1100
00:51:09,533 --> 00:51:10,899
It's a shit gig.
1101
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,400
It's a two-hour drive.
1102
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:13,869
- Great.
1103
00:51:13,871 --> 00:51:15,070
- Great?
- Yeah.
1104
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:17,539
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
1105
00:51:26,650 --> 00:51:28,917
So, is this how you
get most of your work?
1106
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:29,985
Last minute?
1107
00:51:29,987 --> 00:51:31,453
- No.
1108
00:51:31,455 --> 00:51:32,587
Yeah, well, sometimes.
1109
00:51:32,589 --> 00:51:34,923
Sometimes, yeah.
1110
00:51:36,526 --> 00:51:39,160
So Justin is with
the dad tonight?
1111
00:51:39,162 --> 00:51:40,462
- Yeah.
1112
00:51:42,666 --> 00:51:43,565
- Divorce.
1113
00:51:45,669 --> 00:51:48,036
Now that has gotta be tough.
1114
00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:49,905
- Well, it's not easy.
1115
00:51:50,908 --> 00:51:51,573
- Yeah.
1116
00:51:54,578 --> 00:51:55,677
What happened?
1117
00:51:55,679 --> 00:51:56,945
Did he cheat on ya?
1118
00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:58,413
- No, of course not.
1119
00:51:58,415 --> 00:51:59,648
- Oh, you cheated on him?
1120
00:51:59,650 --> 00:52:00,916
- No.
1121
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:02,918
We just...
1122
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:03,618
- Ah.
1123
00:52:04,488 --> 00:52:06,521
You grew apart.
1124
00:52:06,523 --> 00:52:08,056
- No.
1125
00:52:08,058 --> 00:52:09,925
We just didn't grow, period.
1126
00:52:09,927 --> 00:52:12,260
So what about you, Sweeney?
1127
00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,263
Do you have a significant other?
1128
00:52:15,265 --> 00:52:19,167
Have you ever been
engaged, married, divorced?
1129
00:52:22,539 --> 00:52:24,539
- Let's just say
mistakes were made.
1130
00:52:43,810 --> 00:52:45,994
In July, I'm running
a 100-yard dash
1131
00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:48,229
for premature ejaculators.
1132
00:52:51,368 --> 00:52:54,302
A little history of the race.
1133
00:52:54,304 --> 00:52:56,004
It began as a marathon.
1134
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,741
And it became a half
marathon, and then...
1135
00:52:59,743 --> 00:53:02,410
Because they're premat...
1136
00:53:02,412 --> 00:53:05,380
Do you ever get outta the house?
1137
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:08,683
You're the comedian
on a cruise ship
1138
00:53:08,685 --> 00:53:12,087
and people come up to you
and say, "Oh, you stay
1139
00:53:12,089 --> 00:53:13,989
"on the ship?"
1140
00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,024
Oh, no.
1141
00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:18,293
I swim next to the ship.
1142
00:53:18,295 --> 00:53:20,762
And then when
we're 150 miles out
1143
00:53:20,764 --> 00:53:23,365
in the shark-infested
water, they scoop me up,
1144
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:26,368
they dry me off, I tell
a few stupid jokes,
1145
00:53:26,370 --> 00:53:28,336
then they throw me overboard.
1146
00:53:28,338 --> 00:53:30,338
Then I gotta swim
back to catch my plane
1147
00:53:30,340 --> 00:53:32,640
for the big gig here.
1148
00:53:38,482 --> 00:53:40,048
This is Carla.
1149
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:42,050
She's a film maker.
1150
00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:44,786
She's got a documentary,
won a bunch of awards.
1151
00:53:44,788 --> 00:53:46,554
Check it out.
1152
00:54:11,048 --> 00:54:11,813
This okay?
1153
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:13,048
- Oh yeah, yeah.
1154
00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:13,815
I'm fine.
1155
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,483
Thank you, so much.
1156
00:54:15,485 --> 00:54:16,484
Good night.
1157
00:54:17,721 --> 00:54:20,055
- I'm not goin' to bed.
1158
00:54:20,057 --> 00:54:22,157
I'm gonna sit up
and watch you sleep.
1159
00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:26,127
- I don't know if I've
ever told you this
1160
00:54:26,129 --> 00:54:29,197
but I think you're
really talented.
1161
00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:32,200
- No, you have not told me that.
1162
00:54:32,202 --> 00:54:33,101
Thank you.
1163
00:54:34,471 --> 00:54:36,704
- Did you always know that
you wanted to be a comedian?
1164
00:54:36,706 --> 00:54:38,206
- I don't know.
1165
00:54:38,208 --> 00:54:39,808
Yeah, well, I always
made people laugh.
1166
00:54:39,810 --> 00:54:42,644
It's like school, family, jobs.
1167
00:54:43,713 --> 00:54:46,381
But bein' normal,
now that's different.
1168
00:54:46,383 --> 00:54:47,849
Phew, that's the challenge.
1169
00:54:47,851 --> 00:54:50,251
- Well, you're kind of normal.
1170
00:54:50,253 --> 00:54:53,088
- Well, I don't feel
that way lately.
1171
00:54:53,090 --> 00:54:55,156
So that's why I like
to get on stage.
1172
00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:58,159
I get on stage, I
feel comfortable.
1173
00:54:59,763 --> 00:55:03,765
But I don't really know
if that's what I wanna do.
1174
00:55:03,767 --> 00:55:07,202
- Well, I was just
wondering, Sweeney,
1175
00:55:08,205 --> 00:55:10,538
if maybe you wanna do this?
1176
00:55:20,851 --> 00:55:23,685
- Yeah, that's what I wanna do.
1177
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:38,800
- Hey.
1178
00:55:38,802 --> 00:55:40,468
You runnin' out on me?
1179
00:55:40,470 --> 00:55:42,604
- Oh, no I didn't
wanna wake you up.
1180
00:55:42,606 --> 00:55:45,240
Yeah, I'm goin' out to get
some coffee and bagels.
1181
00:55:45,242 --> 00:55:46,474
- Mm.
1182
00:55:46,476 --> 00:55:48,476
Do you want me to just
make something here?
1183
00:55:48,478 --> 00:55:49,911
- Sure.
1184
00:55:49,913 --> 00:55:51,146
Do you have any food on you?
1185
00:55:51,148 --> 00:55:53,181
- No.
- I don't have any food.
1186
00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:54,482
I don't have any food.
1187
00:55:54,484 --> 00:55:55,316
I'll get some bagels.
1188
00:55:55,318 --> 00:55:56,217
- Okay.
1189
00:55:56,219 --> 00:56:00,822
Hey, do you happen to
know where my pants are?
1190
00:56:00,824 --> 00:56:03,224
- Your pants?
- My pants.
1191
00:56:03,226 --> 00:56:04,592
- Oh, I sold 'em on eBay.
1192
00:56:04,594 --> 00:56:05,493
- Not again.
1193
00:56:06,796 --> 00:56:08,196
- No, here they are.
1194
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:09,397
I didn't think you'd mind.
1195
00:56:09,399 --> 00:56:11,199
- Thank you, Sweeney.
1196
00:56:14,738 --> 00:56:15,670
- Sweeney!
1197
00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:16,905
- Oh my god, it's Justin.
1198
00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:19,641
I don't want him to see me here.
1199
00:56:21,711 --> 00:56:23,845
- Justin, what are
you doin' here?
1200
00:56:23,847 --> 00:56:25,446
- You were supposed
to come to my class.
1201
00:56:25,448 --> 00:56:26,681
- Oh, shit!
1202
00:56:26,683 --> 00:56:27,882
I forgot.
1203
00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:29,284
- I had to tell my
teacher you were dead,
1204
00:56:29,286 --> 00:56:30,785
that you died in a hot
air balloon accident.
1205
00:56:30,787 --> 00:56:31,853
- Dead?
1206
00:56:31,855 --> 00:56:32,820
Hot air?
1207
00:56:32,822 --> 00:56:34,322
Are you shitting me?
1208
00:56:34,324 --> 00:56:36,191
A hot air balloon?
1209
00:56:36,193 --> 00:56:37,926
- I thought we were buddies.
1210
00:56:37,928 --> 00:56:38,893
You let me down, you're a jerk.
1211
00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:40,461
- I'm sorry.
1212
00:56:40,463 --> 00:56:41,796
- Here's my
stupid assignment.
1213
00:56:41,798 --> 00:56:42,864
I thought you'd wanna read it.
1214
00:56:42,866 --> 00:56:43,898
I don't want it any more.
1215
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:45,200
- Wow.
1216
00:56:45,936 --> 00:56:47,802
- My dad's waiting.
1217
00:56:47,804 --> 00:56:48,703
- Justin?
1218
00:56:49,906 --> 00:56:51,206
Justin?
1219
00:56:51,942 --> 00:56:53,841
I'll make it up to ya!
1220
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:00,648
Shit.
1221
00:57:02,519 --> 00:57:03,751
- Hey, I'm sorry, Sweeney.
1222
00:57:03,753 --> 00:57:05,286
He didn't mean it.
1223
00:57:05,288 --> 00:57:07,222
Now I'll talk to him.
1224
00:57:09,893 --> 00:57:14,429
- I think I'm quittin'
the real estate business.
1225
00:57:14,431 --> 00:57:17,465
Once you get this cable special,
1226
00:57:17,467 --> 00:57:19,834
I think I'll be able to quit.
1227
00:57:19,836 --> 00:57:22,303
- Are you sure you don't
wanna sit down and eat that?
1228
00:57:22,305 --> 00:57:27,375
- No, my doctor says I should
be gettin' more exercise.
1229
00:57:28,411 --> 00:57:30,945
- Do you wanna
hear summin' crazy?
1230
00:57:30,947 --> 00:57:33,982
- I have heard a lot
of crazy things lately.
1231
00:57:33,984 --> 00:57:35,917
- I think I'm fallin' for Carla.
1232
00:57:35,919 --> 00:57:37,018
- Really?
1233
00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:39,354
That's good.
1234
00:57:40,257 --> 00:57:41,256
I like her.
1235
00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:43,458
- Hey, no moves.
1236
00:57:44,527 --> 00:57:45,927
You know how you
are with the ladies.
1237
00:57:45,929 --> 00:57:46,961
No moves.
1238
00:57:46,963 --> 00:57:49,297
- My hands are full already.
1239
00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:51,332
I wouldn't move on your move.
1240
00:57:51,334 --> 00:57:52,800
Who taught you the moves?
1241
00:57:52,802 --> 00:57:54,636
- You did, you're right.
- I taught you my moves,
1242
00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:55,903
now you use my moves.
1243
00:57:55,905 --> 00:57:57,005
I would never use my moves
1244
00:57:57,007 --> 00:57:58,973
against your moves.
- Okay, I got it.
1245
00:57:58,975 --> 00:57:59,874
Thank you.
1246
00:58:04,714 --> 00:58:08,316
So, I went to the
Museum of Fine Arts.
1247
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,918
First of all, some of
the paintings are as old
1248
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:13,321
as the people that work there.
1249
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:15,423
But the art, it's abstract.
1250
00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:19,327
So I'm lookin' at this one
painting, just for like
1251
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:21,763
an hour and half, I'm
saying, "Is it a man?
1252
00:58:21,765 --> 00:58:23,364
"Is it a woman?"
1253
00:58:24,067 --> 00:58:25,700
And that was just the bathroom.
1254
00:58:30,307 --> 00:58:32,774
- Sweeney, you killed it!
- Nice job, Sweeney.
1255
00:58:32,776 --> 00:58:34,008
- Good set, Sweeney.
1256
00:58:34,010 --> 00:58:35,777
- Thank you, thank
you, thank you.
1257
00:58:35,779 --> 00:58:37,812
- And you didn't even
have to use your crutches.
1258
00:58:37,814 --> 00:58:39,380
I mean characters.
1259
00:58:46,389 --> 00:58:49,657
- You my friend are
ready for this audition.
1260
00:58:49,659 --> 00:58:50,958
I can see it in your eyes.
1261
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,027
- Please don't look in my eyes.
1262
00:58:53,028 --> 00:58:55,095
- And you haven't heard
from your you know who's?
1263
00:58:55,098 --> 00:58:57,932
- No, I told you, they are gone.
1264
00:58:57,934 --> 00:58:59,500
- Okay.
1265
00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:02,470
This is gonna be a
defining moment for you.
1266
00:59:02,472 --> 00:59:05,440
Every comic has a
defining moment.
1267
00:59:05,442 --> 00:59:07,875
Mine was when I quit.
1268
00:59:07,877 --> 00:59:09,577
Oh, I love comedy.
1269
00:59:09,579 --> 00:59:11,045
It just wasn't for me.
1270
00:59:11,047 --> 00:59:14,382
So I guess I live vicariously
through Sweeney now.
1271
00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:17,819
The recognition, the
one-night stands.
1272
00:59:17,821 --> 00:59:18,953
The 15%.
1273
00:59:20,457 --> 00:59:23,825
- So, has Sweeney
ever had a steady girlfriend?
1274
00:59:23,827 --> 00:59:25,793
- Ah, not as long
as I've known him.
1275
00:59:25,795 --> 00:59:28,996
All his girlfriends
have been unsteady.
1276
00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:30,064
Can I ask you a question?
1277
00:59:30,066 --> 00:59:30,965
- Sure.
1278
00:59:30,967 --> 00:59:32,133
- Do you rent or own?
1279
00:59:34,037 --> 00:59:36,471
- So, my mother still
sends me money in the mail,
1280
00:59:36,473 --> 00:59:38,806
which is weird because
I'm 31 years old.
1281
00:59:40,110 --> 00:59:41,442
And we live together.
1282
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:46,948
My mother had me when
she was 17 years old.
1283
00:59:46,950 --> 00:59:49,050
A junior in high school.
1284
00:59:49,052 --> 00:59:51,486
My father was older.
1285
00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:52,620
He was a senior.
1286
00:59:53,690 --> 00:59:54,655
He was 70.
1287
00:59:58,728 --> 01:00:01,429
- So do you have any pre-show
rituals that you go through?
1288
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:04,532
- Sometimes I like
to sit undisturbed,
1289
01:00:04,534 --> 01:00:06,534
quiet, without talking.
1290
01:00:09,639 --> 01:00:11,439
- Hey!
- Hey Gene!
1291
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:12,774
- Hey, George, George!
1292
01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:13,608
Sit down, sit down.
1293
01:00:13,610 --> 01:00:14,675
How are you, baby?
1294
01:00:14,677 --> 01:00:15,810
How's the real estate business?
1295
01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:16,878
- Ah, it's good, it's good.
1296
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:17,812
- Really?
1297
01:00:17,814 --> 01:00:18,813
I hear real estate sucks!
1298
01:00:19,749 --> 01:00:20,882
- Yeah, it does.
1299
01:00:20,884 --> 01:00:22,116
Hey, how's that
beautiful wife of yours?
1300
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:23,418
- Oh!
1301
01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:24,752
That broad's leavin' me.
1302
01:00:24,754 --> 01:00:26,154
- That slut.
1303
01:00:26,156 --> 01:00:27,488
She lookin' for a condo?
1304
01:00:29,058 --> 01:00:29,924
- Oh, look it there.
1305
01:00:29,926 --> 01:00:30,925
This guy, this guy!
1306
01:00:30,927 --> 01:00:32,527
I love this guy!
1307
01:00:32,529 --> 01:00:33,461
- Sweeney.
1308
01:00:33,463 --> 01:00:34,695
Are you kidding, Sweeney.
1309
01:00:34,697 --> 01:00:36,063
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1310
01:00:36,065 --> 01:00:37,098
Sweeney, Sweeney,
it's of course.
1311
01:00:37,100 --> 01:00:38,466
My mind went blank for a second.
1312
01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:40,568
A couple of cocktails,
and you know.
1313
01:00:40,570 --> 01:00:41,202
Oh, look who's it.
1314
01:00:41,204 --> 01:00:42,603
Hey, Heather!
1315
01:00:42,605 --> 01:00:43,571
How are ya, baby?
- Hi, Gene!
1316
01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:44,806
- Oh, how are you, sweetie pie?
1317
01:00:44,808 --> 01:00:45,640
- It's
so good to see you.
1318
01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:46,607
- Oh, you look great.
1319
01:00:46,609 --> 01:00:47,575
Doesn't she look great, huh?
1320
01:00:47,577 --> 01:00:49,677
- Hey, what about my hug?
1321
01:00:49,679 --> 01:00:50,545
- Ah.
1322
01:00:50,547 --> 01:00:51,212
That guy!
1323
01:00:51,214 --> 01:00:52,447
I love that guy!
1324
01:00:52,449 --> 01:00:53,147
Is it?
1325
01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:54,048
Funny guy.
1326
01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:55,716
Come on.
1327
01:00:55,718 --> 01:00:56,918
Gonna go on.
1328
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:57,752
Come on, I can't
wait to see your set.
1329
01:00:57,754 --> 01:00:58,453
I'll see ya later.
1330
01:00:58,455 --> 01:00:59,220
Funny guy.
1331
01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:00,588
I like that guy.
1332
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:03,758
- Am I that forgettable.
1333
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,494
- Oh, he just couldn't
think of your name.
1334
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:09,697
Sometimes I can't
think of your name.
1335
01:01:14,571 --> 01:01:17,472
- My mother's only 59 and she's
already starting to lose it.
1336
01:01:17,474 --> 01:01:18,473
You know what I mean?
1337
01:01:18,475 --> 01:01:20,041
She keeps forgetting things.
1338
01:01:20,043 --> 01:01:21,909
She called me up the
other day and asked me
1339
01:01:21,911 --> 01:01:23,811
what an orgasm was.
1340
01:01:23,813 --> 01:01:27,515
And I was like, "Mom,
it's that euphoric feeling
1341
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:31,252
"that you get whenever
Dad leaves the house."
1342
01:01:37,494 --> 01:01:39,494
- I'm gonna do about five
minutes between you and Heather.
1343
01:01:39,496 --> 01:01:41,129
Okay?
1344
01:01:41,130 --> 01:01:42,763
- Yeah, don't introduce
me as the Character King.
1345
01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:45,933
- Yeah, yeah, whatever
you want Sweeney.
1346
01:01:45,935 --> 01:01:48,703
- I used to work in an office.
1347
01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:50,972
Constant sexual harassment.
1348
01:01:52,242 --> 01:01:53,641
Of course, most of it
was coming from me.
1349
01:01:54,911 --> 01:01:56,711
Hey, Kevin, you
look a little tired.
1350
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:57,945
Late night?
1351
01:01:57,947 --> 01:01:59,514
You and the misses
gettin' it on?
1352
01:01:59,516 --> 01:02:01,516
What's your favorite position?
1353
01:02:01,518 --> 01:02:02,183
Mine?
1354
01:02:03,052 --> 01:02:03,951
Watching.
1355
01:02:05,054 --> 01:02:07,788
Anyway, you people
have cheered me up.
1356
01:02:07,790 --> 01:02:09,557
Thank you very much.
1357
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:10,892
Good night.
1358
01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:19,734
- Great fucking set, Heather.
1359
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,736
That new joke totally killed.
1360
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:22,737
- Good set.
1361
01:02:24,207 --> 01:02:25,873
- Thanks.
1362
01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:29,010
I left a few laughs
out there for ya.
1363
01:02:32,282 --> 01:02:34,315
- Give it up for Heather
Chase, ladies and gentlemen.
1364
01:02:34,317 --> 01:02:35,583
Let her know!
1365
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,284
Heather Chase!
1366
01:02:36,286 --> 01:02:37,718
Very sexy.
1367
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:39,320
Very sexy Heather Chase.
1368
01:02:39,322 --> 01:02:41,589
But my girlfriend, not sexy.
1369
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:43,157
No, not sexy at all!
1370
01:02:43,159 --> 01:02:45,560
Listen, she farts
when she has sex.
1371
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:49,931
At least that's what
her father says.
1372
01:02:54,571 --> 01:02:57,605
All right, on that note,
ladies and gentlemen,
1373
01:02:57,607 --> 01:02:59,640
your final performer
for the evening.
1374
01:02:59,642 --> 01:03:01,576
He's a local legend.
1375
01:03:01,578 --> 01:03:04,679
Please give it up for
Boston's Character King!
1376
01:03:04,681 --> 01:03:05,580
Sweeney!
1377
01:03:07,650 --> 01:03:08,849
- I told you not to say that.
1378
01:03:08,851 --> 01:03:10,051
- Yeah, yeah, whatever
you need, Sweeney.
1379
01:03:10,053 --> 01:03:11,619
- Hey, how are you?
1380
01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:12,753
Good to see you.
1381
01:03:12,755 --> 01:03:13,721
How ya doin'?
1382
01:03:13,723 --> 01:03:15,323
You look great.
1383
01:03:15,325 --> 01:03:20,595
I know what you're thinkin',
but I am not as old as I look.
1384
01:03:21,264 --> 01:03:22,730
I did a lot of drugs
in high school.
1385
01:03:23,933 --> 01:03:24,932
Last week.
1386
01:03:27,904 --> 01:03:28,869
I eat meat.
1387
01:03:30,106 --> 01:03:32,106
Let me put it in another way.
1388
01:03:32,108 --> 01:03:33,941
I hate fucking vegans.
1389
01:03:36,713 --> 01:03:38,279
I like to get up
early in the morning.
1390
01:03:38,281 --> 01:03:41,082
I work out for an hour,
that way, I get it over with
1391
01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:42,083
for the whole year.
1392
01:03:45,755 --> 01:03:48,389
Hey, can you be a little
more careful with my career?
1393
01:03:48,391 --> 01:03:50,124
This is a big audition.
1394
01:03:50,126 --> 01:03:52,360
- I'm just tryin'
to make a livin'.
1395
01:03:52,362 --> 01:03:53,361
- Oh, shit!
1396
01:03:54,397 --> 01:03:55,896
- Oh, man.
1397
01:03:55,898 --> 01:03:56,897
Is he gonna be okay?
1398
01:03:56,899 --> 01:03:58,199
- I don't know.
1399
01:04:01,771 --> 01:04:04,305
Give me a shot of anything.
1400
01:04:04,307 --> 01:04:08,876
- Okay, anyway, this guy
comes up to me in the subway,
1401
01:04:10,279 --> 01:04:13,381
he says to me, "Give me a buck
and a half or I'll touch ya."
1402
01:04:13,383 --> 01:04:15,983
So, I let him touch me.
1403
01:04:15,985 --> 01:04:17,752
I'm a lonely guy.
- Coming through,
1404
01:04:17,754 --> 01:04:19,020
coming through, come on.
1405
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:19,954
Pick up the feet,
pick up your feet.
1406
01:04:19,956 --> 01:04:21,288
Coming through, coming through.
1407
01:04:21,290 --> 01:04:24,659
This won't take long, funny man.
1408
01:04:24,661 --> 01:04:26,227
Coming through.
1409
01:04:26,229 --> 01:04:29,163
- Jesus, I need a shovel man.
1410
01:04:29,165 --> 01:04:32,933
You can't sweep a street
without a broom and a shovel.
1411
01:04:32,935 --> 01:04:34,802
This is a five-man job.
1412
01:04:34,804 --> 01:04:36,704
I'm doin' all five jobs.
1413
01:04:36,706 --> 01:04:38,339
- Hey, why don't
you say somethin'?
1414
01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:40,307
- Hey, what's your problem, pal?
1415
01:04:40,309 --> 01:04:41,676
You see what I gotta
deal with, huh?
1416
01:04:43,146 --> 01:04:45,379
All right, what were
we talkin' about?
1417
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:47,381
- You were talkin' about
your miserable life.
1418
01:04:47,383 --> 01:04:48,783
- Oh, shit.
1419
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:51,352
- Why don't you talk
about how you treat
1420
01:04:51,354 --> 01:04:53,187
your friends, clown?
1421
01:04:53,189 --> 01:04:54,689
Huh?
1422
01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:55,990
- Hey, fuck you!
1423
01:04:55,992 --> 01:04:57,224
- Fuck you!
1424
01:04:57,226 --> 01:04:58,693
Oh, that's clever.
1425
01:04:58,695 --> 01:04:59,960
Jesus Christ.
1426
01:04:59,962 --> 01:05:01,429
Where's my pen?
1427
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:04,131
How long did it take
ya to write that one?
1428
01:05:04,133 --> 01:05:06,400
Wow, Shakespeare
got nothin' on you.
1429
01:05:06,402 --> 01:05:07,835
James Joyce.
1430
01:05:07,837 --> 01:05:10,705
My god, he's green
with freakin' envy.
1431
01:05:21,851 --> 01:05:22,917
- All right.
1432
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,289
That's been my time.
1433
01:05:29,759 --> 01:05:30,858
Thank you.
1434
01:05:54,517 --> 01:05:59,787
♪ I'm lost in space ♪
1435
01:06:00,490 --> 01:06:03,424
♪ Each passing day ♪
1436
01:06:03,426 --> 01:06:06,360
- I'm so sorry, Sweeney.
1437
01:06:07,764 --> 01:06:10,331
- Can you turn that thing off?
1438
01:06:12,034 --> 01:06:17,104
♪ Floats by my window ♪
1439
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:22,476
♪ Like a worried mind ♪
1440
01:06:23,179 --> 01:06:28,015
♪ Round and round ♪
1441
01:06:28,518 --> 01:06:33,888
♪ This silent earth ♪
1442
01:06:34,390 --> 01:06:36,924
♪ Day into night ♪
1443
01:06:49,071 --> 01:06:50,471
- What?
1444
01:06:50,473 --> 01:06:51,806
- Sweeney?
1445
01:06:51,808 --> 01:06:52,540
Yeah, it's George.
1446
01:06:52,542 --> 01:06:54,341
- I know.
1447
01:06:54,343 --> 01:06:56,110
- Yeah, I
talked to Gene today.
1448
01:06:56,112 --> 01:06:57,878
He was a little hung over.
1449
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,014
But basically, he
really liked ya.
1450
01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:01,515
He knows you're funny.
1451
01:07:01,517 --> 01:07:03,050
He knew the crowd was tired.
1452
01:07:03,052 --> 01:07:05,352
He's seen ya kill before.
1453
01:07:05,354 --> 01:07:07,555
He's a pretty sharp guy.
1454
01:07:07,557 --> 01:07:10,858
They're givin' the
special to Heather.
1455
01:07:10,860 --> 01:07:12,493
I got a gig for ya.
1456
01:07:12,495 --> 01:07:14,378
It's at a Crusty Pizza.
1457
01:07:14,379 --> 01:07:16,262
Three-hour drive and
there's a free slice in it.
1458
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:17,164
- No.
1459
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:32,880
- Hey?
1460
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:37,918
Do you wanna go outside
and get some fresh air?
1461
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,954
- Hey, can you turn
that camera off?
1462
01:07:39,956 --> 01:07:41,021
- It is off.
1463
01:07:45,061 --> 01:07:47,628
- Wow, you wanted me to fail.
1464
01:07:47,630 --> 01:07:48,529
- What?
1465
01:07:49,565 --> 01:07:51,899
- For your stupid movie.
1466
01:07:51,901 --> 01:07:53,901
That's how it works.
1467
01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:55,469
- What are you talking about?
1468
01:07:55,471 --> 01:07:57,404
- You said it yourself.
1469
01:07:57,406 --> 01:07:59,907
The other movie, the guy
who lives under the bridge,
1470
01:07:59,909 --> 01:08:03,510
if he doesn't die, the
movie doesn't work.
1471
01:08:03,512 --> 01:08:07,147
If I don't bomb, this
movie doesn't work.
1472
01:08:07,149 --> 01:08:08,983
- Oh, my god!
1473
01:08:08,985 --> 01:08:10,184
Are you blaming me?
1474
01:08:10,186 --> 01:08:11,485
- I'm not blaming anyone.
1475
01:08:11,487 --> 01:08:14,321
I'm just saying, you
wanted me to fail.
1476
01:08:14,323 --> 01:08:15,623
- Wow!
1477
01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:17,525
You know what, pal?
1478
01:08:17,526 --> 01:08:19,426
I'm not one of your imaginary
characters that's trying
1479
01:08:19,428 --> 01:08:20,628
to kill you.
1480
01:08:20,630 --> 01:08:22,496
I'm actually trying to help you.
1481
01:08:22,498 --> 01:08:23,931
- You're trying to help me?
- Yes.
1482
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:25,599
- By making me
look like a loser?
1483
01:08:25,601 --> 01:08:28,535
- You know what, Sweeney,
there is somebody
1484
01:08:28,537 --> 01:08:30,204
that you can blame.
1485
01:08:31,173 --> 01:08:32,072
- Oh.
1486
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:45,686
Steven.
1487
01:08:45,688 --> 01:08:47,154
- Sweeney.
1488
01:08:47,156 --> 01:08:48,589
- What are
you doin' out here?
1489
01:08:48,591 --> 01:08:50,391
- Lookin' for my dog.
1490
01:08:50,393 --> 01:08:51,692
- You have a dog?
1491
01:08:53,029 --> 01:08:55,262
Hey listen, now that
you're here, I'm goin'
1492
01:08:55,264 --> 01:08:56,664
though all this stuff.
1493
01:08:56,666 --> 01:09:00,334
This woman just walked out
on me, I'm bombin' on stage,
1494
01:09:00,336 --> 01:09:03,637
I want you to give
me some advice.
1495
01:09:03,639 --> 01:09:06,006
- My advice to you
is to stop thinkin'.
1496
01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:07,641
You're thinkin' too much.
1497
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:09,977
You take all this
information, everyone,
1498
01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:11,679
all this infinite
amount of information.
1499
01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:13,213
The brain has no end.
1500
01:09:13,215 --> 01:09:14,965
It'll take everything in.
1501
01:09:14,966 --> 01:09:16,716
You need to stop new
information, take the information
1502
01:09:16,719 --> 01:09:19,520
that's already in your head,
meaning your whole life,
1503
01:09:19,522 --> 01:09:21,455
and then push it to the side.
1504
01:09:21,457 --> 01:09:23,123
You need to have no information.
1505
01:09:23,125 --> 01:09:24,325
You need to have a blank.
1506
01:09:24,327 --> 01:09:25,626
Not just nothin'
for a little while.
1507
01:09:25,628 --> 01:09:27,061
- Blank?
1508
01:09:27,063 --> 01:09:28,362
- Blank, nothin' in
your head at all.
1509
01:09:28,364 --> 01:09:30,464
A few seconds here,
a few seconds there.
1510
01:09:30,466 --> 01:09:31,699
It all adds up.
1511
01:09:31,701 --> 01:09:33,968
To me, I do it.
1512
01:09:33,969 --> 01:09:36,236
It adds up to about 15 minutes
a year where I have nothin'
1513
01:09:36,238 --> 01:09:37,471
in my head.
1514
01:09:37,473 --> 01:09:38,505
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
15 minutes a year?
1515
01:09:38,507 --> 01:09:39,673
- Yes.
1516
01:09:39,675 --> 01:09:40,741
- I need help now.
1517
01:09:40,743 --> 01:09:42,476
I want your advice now!
1518
01:09:42,478 --> 01:09:45,479
- That's the perfect example
of what I'm talkin' about.
1519
01:09:45,481 --> 01:09:48,282
You're analyzing a
year, now, 15 minutes.
1520
01:09:48,284 --> 01:09:50,017
You see all the
thinking you just did.
1521
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:51,352
You think too much.
1522
01:09:51,354 --> 01:09:52,753
You need to have nothin'.
1523
01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,722
Believe me, if I didn't
do it, I would be insane.
1524
01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:56,023
It works.
1525
01:09:56,692 --> 01:09:57,992
Freddy?
1526
01:09:59,428 --> 01:10:02,763
- Steven, you don't
have a dog, do you?
1527
01:10:07,636 --> 01:10:08,736
- Here, Freddy!
1528
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:11,739
Freddy?
1529
01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:14,708
Freddy?
1530
01:10:18,581 --> 01:10:19,713
- Sweeney?
1531
01:10:19,715 --> 01:10:21,415
Open up.
1532
01:10:21,417 --> 01:10:23,417
Come on, man, we gotta talk.
1533
01:10:23,419 --> 01:10:25,152
Do I smell gas?
1534
01:10:25,154 --> 01:10:26,787
- Bombing sucks.
1535
01:10:26,789 --> 01:10:28,355
So I've heard.
1536
01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:29,423
I'm kidding.
1537
01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:32,226
We've all been there.
1538
01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:34,628
But if you bomb, you move on.
1539
01:10:34,630 --> 01:10:38,198
If you keep bombing, you
move on to another career.
1540
01:10:39,268 --> 01:10:40,667
- You bomb, you move on!
1541
01:10:40,669 --> 01:10:42,536
You bomb, you move on!
1542
01:10:45,041 --> 01:10:46,440
Hi, I found some pizza.
1543
01:10:46,442 --> 01:10:47,708
- You found it?
1544
01:10:49,045 --> 01:10:49,777
- I thought you had
your head in the oven.
1545
01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:51,712
- What do you want, Frank?
1546
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:54,348
- I gotta show you somethin'.
1547
01:10:54,350 --> 01:10:55,749
You are gonna shit.
1548
01:10:55,751 --> 01:10:58,152
You want some pizza first?
1549
01:11:03,492 --> 01:11:05,325
- Oh, my god.
- Yeah.
1550
01:11:05,327 --> 01:11:09,463
- Sweepin' shit on the
street is a lot like life.
1551
01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:16,070
Especially if you're life is
sweepin' shit on the street.
1552
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:19,573
- He's not even funny.
1553
01:11:19,575 --> 01:11:20,474
- Wait.
1554
01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:23,110
There's more.
1555
01:11:26,549 --> 01:11:31,618
- When I was young, I used to
love to listen to the Beatles.
1556
01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:33,454
Not the band, insects.
1557
01:11:35,091 --> 01:11:38,125
Now, for music, I
loved Frank Sinatra.
1558
01:11:39,195 --> 01:11:41,228
Oh, god, when he
would sing "My Way,"
1559
01:11:41,230 --> 01:11:44,765
I'd say, "You can have
your way with my way,
1560
01:11:44,767 --> 01:11:46,633
"and I can go both ways."
1561
01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:49,803
Yeah.
1562
01:11:50,806 --> 01:11:51,772
- Funny stuff.
- Huh?
1563
01:11:51,774 --> 01:11:53,173
- No bullshit.
1564
01:11:54,210 --> 01:11:56,110
- You're not gonna believe it.
1565
01:11:56,112 --> 01:11:57,311
There's more.
- More?
1566
01:11:57,313 --> 01:11:58,879
- Watch.
- Jesus, god.
1567
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:05,319
- I went to Catholic
school with the nuns.
1568
01:12:05,321 --> 01:12:09,223
I was talkin', they
suspended me for three days,
1569
01:12:09,225 --> 01:12:11,225
from the freakin' ceilin'.
1570
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:19,600
- Go back to where
you came from.
1571
01:12:19,602 --> 01:12:21,835
You ruined my audition,
you're not gonna ruin my life.
1572
01:12:21,837 --> 01:12:23,337
Get out.
1573
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:25,172
- I got news for ya, Sweeney.
1574
01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:29,143
You already kicked us
outta your life, 'member?
1575
01:12:29,145 --> 01:12:33,180
You kicked us out, now
we're kickin' you out.
1576
01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,748
- You ready, Fitzy?
1577
01:12:34,750 --> 01:12:35,883
- Sure, sweetheart.
1578
01:12:35,885 --> 01:12:37,918
She wants a few tips on comedy.
1579
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:41,155
- Wait a minute, you
don't kick me out.
1580
01:12:41,157 --> 01:12:42,623
You don't exist without me.
1581
01:12:42,625 --> 01:12:45,526
- That's the funny thing
about this magical shit.
1582
01:12:45,528 --> 01:12:47,161
It's unpredictable.
1583
01:12:48,397 --> 01:12:49,630
Come on, baby.
1584
01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:58,839
- Here's somethin'.
1585
01:12:58,841 --> 01:13:01,275
10 years ago, according
to Geraldo Rivera,
1586
01:13:01,277 --> 01:13:04,778
three Buddhist monks
from a novel came to life
1587
01:13:04,780 --> 01:13:06,847
while he was doin'
a story in Tibet.
1588
01:13:06,849 --> 01:13:08,382
- Yeah, but did they
try to kill 'im?
1589
01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:10,450
- It says here, yeah.
1590
01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:12,586
Even the monks hate Geraldo.
1591
01:13:12,588 --> 01:13:14,888
- Maybe that's what I should do.
1592
01:13:14,890 --> 01:13:18,358
Maybe I should try to
kill my characters.
1593
01:13:19,595 --> 01:13:20,827
- You serious?
1594
01:13:21,897 --> 01:13:23,931
- It's not a bad idea.
1595
01:13:23,933 --> 01:13:26,934
They don't exist anyway, right?
1596
01:13:26,936 --> 01:13:28,368
- Sweeney?
1597
01:13:28,370 --> 01:13:30,537
Don't do anything stupid.
1598
01:13:37,213 --> 01:13:39,646
- Listen, there's nothin'
I can do about it.
1599
01:13:39,648 --> 01:13:40,981
My hands are tied.
1600
01:13:40,983 --> 01:13:42,916
They want Heather,
they don't want you.
1601
01:13:42,918 --> 01:13:44,451
- Listen to me,
just ask them again.
1602
01:13:44,453 --> 01:13:45,686
Ask them--
1603
01:13:45,688 --> 01:13:46,620
- I've asked them
a million times.
1604
01:13:46,622 --> 01:13:47,821
She's doin' a good job.
1605
01:13:47,823 --> 01:13:48,922
Her stock is up.
1606
01:13:48,924 --> 01:13:50,224
They want her.
1607
01:13:50,226 --> 01:13:52,626
They don't want you anymore!
1608
01:13:54,930 --> 01:13:57,231
- You my manager?
- Of course.
1609
01:13:57,233 --> 01:13:58,365
- You're fired.
1610
01:14:00,536 --> 01:14:02,703
- Come on, Sweeney, 30 years.
1611
01:14:02,705 --> 01:14:03,904
Sweeney?
1612
01:14:11,914 --> 01:14:14,982
- Thanks
for meetin' me.
1613
01:14:14,984 --> 01:14:16,683
- You're late.
1614
01:14:16,685 --> 01:14:17,851
What do you want?
1615
01:14:17,853 --> 01:14:19,753
- I want to apologize.
1616
01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:21,888
- Okay.
1617
01:14:23,325 --> 01:14:25,993
- Are we gonna finish
the documentary or what?
1618
01:14:27,496 --> 01:14:29,930
- I'm sorry, did I
miss the apology?
1619
01:14:29,932 --> 01:14:31,365
- I'm sorry.
1620
01:14:31,367 --> 01:14:33,333
Are we gonna finish
the documentary?
1621
01:14:33,335 --> 01:14:34,034
- No.
1622
01:14:35,671 --> 01:14:38,739
I think we need to
put that on hold.
1623
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:41,875
I've got other projects
that I'm working on, so--
1624
01:14:41,877 --> 01:14:44,378
- Okay, so you're gonna
walk away for no reason.
1625
01:14:44,380 --> 01:14:45,445
- No reason?
1626
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:47,381
Right.
1627
01:14:57,693 --> 01:15:01,762
- Hey, did you ever see this
guy sweepin' the streets?
1628
01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:05,666
Real loser.
1629
01:15:12,007 --> 01:15:13,740
I know the bit, Frank.
1630
01:15:13,742 --> 01:15:15,342
It just wouldn't come out.
1631
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:17,010
- I knew a guy in Cleveland.
1632
01:15:17,012 --> 01:15:18,845
Always forgot his act.
1633
01:15:18,847 --> 01:15:20,447
- I didn't forget my act, Frank.
1634
01:15:20,449 --> 01:15:21,948
It just wouldn't come out.
1635
01:15:21,950 --> 01:15:24,351
Something prevented
it from coming out.
1636
01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:26,753
I didn't forget the bit, Frank.
1637
01:15:31,427 --> 01:15:33,927
- 30 years of
comedy down the drain.
1638
01:15:33,929 --> 01:15:35,629
- What are
ya gonna do, Sweeney?
1639
01:15:35,631 --> 01:15:38,598
You gotta do
somethin', but what?
1640
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:40,367
- There's
nothing he can do.
1641
01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,601
It's over!
1642
01:15:41,603 --> 01:15:43,036
- He can sweep.
1643
01:15:43,038 --> 01:15:47,641
Come on, Sweeney, get up
and sweep, sweep, sweep.
1644
01:15:47,643 --> 01:15:48,542
Sweep!
1645
01:15:50,746 --> 01:15:52,846
- I gotta kill 'em.
1646
01:16:09,365 --> 01:16:11,031
Die, you piece of shit!
1647
01:16:12,768 --> 01:16:15,435
- You gotta wake
up pretty late to fool me,
1648
01:16:15,437 --> 01:16:18,105
expecially on a Wednesday.
1649
01:16:18,107 --> 01:16:19,373
- Where did he go?
1650
01:16:19,375 --> 01:16:22,376
♪ There is a big ♪
1651
01:16:23,379 --> 01:16:24,845
- Quarters!
1652
01:16:24,847 --> 01:16:26,546
I need quarters for the bridge
and for the tonic machine.
1653
01:16:26,548 --> 01:16:27,647
Quarters.
1654
01:16:27,649 --> 01:16:28,548
Quarters.
1655
01:16:29,651 --> 01:16:31,685
I'm talkin' to you,
you piece of shit.
1656
01:16:31,687 --> 01:16:34,121
I'll rip that wallet
right outta your pants
1657
01:16:34,123 --> 01:16:35,088
with my teeth.
1658
01:16:35,090 --> 01:16:36,923
Come on!
1659
01:16:38,660 --> 01:16:40,260
Come on!
1660
01:16:40,261 --> 01:16:41,861
Is that it, you stingy bastard?
1661
01:16:41,864 --> 01:16:43,697
♪ Oh my ♪
1662
01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:47,434
- Quarters!
1663
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,535
♪ Hold me to ♪
1664
01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:50,737
- Sweeney?
1665
01:16:50,739 --> 01:16:53,740
I will take that belt, I will
wrap it around your balls,
1666
01:16:53,742 --> 01:16:56,443
and I will tear them off
of your body and stick 'em
1667
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:57,744
in your ear!
1668
01:16:57,746 --> 01:16:59,579
Oh, you don't believe me?
1669
01:16:59,581 --> 01:17:02,149
♪ Help me move ♪
1670
01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:06,486
- It's a good thing you
didn't kill your characters.
1671
01:17:06,488 --> 01:17:08,555
You don't know what
coulda happened.
1672
01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:10,457
- Frank, this is not good.
1673
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:12,893
My life is out of control.
1674
01:17:12,895 --> 01:17:14,728
- Then get it back in control.
1675
01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:16,096
- I'm tryin' to--
- But, I don't think
1676
01:17:16,098 --> 01:17:17,931
you should be killin' anybody.
1677
01:17:17,933 --> 01:17:20,434
Speakin' of kill, did I
tell about this gig I did
1678
01:17:20,436 --> 01:17:21,868
in Kingston the other night.
1679
01:17:21,870 --> 01:17:23,170
I fuckin' killed.
1680
01:17:24,673 --> 01:17:26,139
And I ordered a latte.
1681
01:17:26,141 --> 01:17:27,207
- All right!
1682
01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:30,043
Ladies and gentlemen, this
next comedian is going
1683
01:17:30,045 --> 01:17:33,447
to be filming her
own comedy special.
1684
01:17:33,449 --> 01:17:35,515
So without any further
adieu, give it up
1685
01:17:35,517 --> 01:17:39,753
for the very funny, the
very sexy Heather Chase!
1686
01:17:45,961 --> 01:17:47,127
- Wow, what a great crowd!
1687
01:17:47,129 --> 01:17:48,462
Thank you.
1688
01:17:48,464 --> 01:17:49,796
It's great to be here.
1689
01:17:49,798 --> 01:17:51,631
Yeah, so I'm getting
a network special.
1690
01:17:53,569 --> 01:17:55,969
Thank you, thank you.
1691
01:17:55,971 --> 01:17:57,971
It's really exciting,
and I didn't even have
1692
01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:58,939
to blow anyone to get it.
1693
01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:01,208
But I did anyway.
1694
01:18:02,811 --> 01:18:03,877
I'm superstitious like that.
1695
01:18:07,149 --> 01:18:10,016
- So, this is your new project?
1696
01:18:10,886 --> 01:18:11,885
Filming Heather?
1697
01:18:11,887 --> 01:18:13,220
- I'm working.
1698
01:18:13,222 --> 01:18:15,055
- Look, I said I was sorry.
1699
01:18:15,057 --> 01:18:16,256
What else do you want me to say?
1700
01:18:16,258 --> 01:18:18,492
- Well, for starters,
how 'bout not blaming me
1701
01:18:18,494 --> 01:18:19,726
for your failures.
1702
01:18:19,728 --> 01:18:20,961
- I'm not blaming...
1703
01:18:26,535 --> 01:18:27,234
Gene!
1704
01:18:30,205 --> 01:18:33,240
Gene, I am so glad
you are still here.
1705
01:18:34,276 --> 01:18:35,542
- I gotta go.
1706
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:37,844
I gotta go to the bathroom.
1707
01:18:41,917 --> 01:18:44,184
- Gene, Gene, Gene?
1708
01:18:44,186 --> 01:18:45,619
Gene, listen.
1709
01:18:45,621 --> 01:18:46,686
Gene?
- What?
1710
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:50,223
- I apologize for the
set the other night,
1711
01:18:50,225 --> 01:18:51,258
for the audition.
1712
01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:52,726
It was an off night.
1713
01:18:53,562 --> 01:18:54,194
Give me another shot.
1714
01:18:54,196 --> 01:18:55,595
Let me do another set.
1715
01:18:55,597 --> 01:18:56,263
- You already
had your chance.
1716
01:18:56,265 --> 01:18:57,564
I gotta pee.
1717
01:18:57,566 --> 01:18:58,999
Leave me alone!
1718
01:18:59,001 --> 01:19:00,667
- Gene, I have been
waiting 30 years for this!
1719
01:19:00,669 --> 01:19:02,235
- I've been
waitin' 10 minutes to pee!
1720
01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,570
Get out of my face!
1721
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,821
- Gene, just five minutes!
1722
01:19:04,822 --> 01:19:06,071
Just give me a
set, five minutes?
1723
01:19:06,074 --> 01:19:07,307
- Oh, my
god, leave me alone!
1724
01:19:07,309 --> 01:19:09,676
- Oh, it was them!
1725
01:19:09,678 --> 01:19:11,011
They ruined it!
1726
01:19:11,780 --> 01:19:13,313
They ruined it!
1727
01:19:13,315 --> 01:19:14,848
- Oh, my god!
1728
01:19:14,850 --> 01:19:16,016
What is wrong with you?
1729
01:19:16,018 --> 01:19:17,584
Will you get outta my face?
1730
01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:18,785
God, I hate this fucking job.
1731
01:19:20,255 --> 01:19:21,187
- Thank you so much.
1732
01:19:21,189 --> 01:19:22,322
You've been a great crowd.
1733
01:19:23,959 --> 01:19:25,058
Thank you.
1734
01:19:25,060 --> 01:19:25,959
Thank you.
1735
01:19:27,729 --> 01:19:29,262
- I gotta talk.
1736
01:19:29,264 --> 01:19:31,131
I don't know.
1737
01:19:31,133 --> 01:19:34,034
Did I bring this on myself?
1738
01:19:34,036 --> 01:19:36,970
Did I sabotage my own audition?
1739
01:19:36,972 --> 01:19:37,938
Am I crazy?
1740
01:19:39,141 --> 01:19:41,107
- I have a test for crazy.
1741
01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:43,343
Stay with me here.
1742
01:19:43,345 --> 01:19:45,745
It's the end of your
life and God is standing
1743
01:19:45,747 --> 01:19:47,314
in front of you.
1744
01:19:47,316 --> 01:19:48,915
Little guy.
1745
01:19:48,917 --> 01:19:52,152
And he says, "Sweeney,
you've had a good life.
1746
01:19:52,154 --> 01:19:56,890
"Now you can either come with
me and live in eternal bliss
1747
01:19:56,892 --> 01:19:59,359
"or you can live your
life over again knowing
1748
01:19:59,361 --> 01:20:01,962
"what you now know."
1749
01:20:01,964 --> 01:20:03,263
Which would you choose?
1750
01:20:03,265 --> 01:20:04,798
- Oh, I'd live my
life over again.
1751
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,367
- You are fucking crazy.
1752
01:20:07,369 --> 01:20:08,935
- I can't live with the idea
1753
01:20:08,937 --> 01:20:12,205
of my characters
runnin' loose out there.
1754
01:20:12,207 --> 01:20:13,924
- Well, exactly.
1755
01:20:13,925 --> 01:20:15,642
The longer your
characters are out there,
1756
01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:18,278
the less you will
come to matter.
1757
01:20:19,181 --> 01:20:20,814
- Huh.
1758
01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:22,115
What?
1759
01:20:22,117 --> 01:20:23,917
- So I've heard.
1760
01:20:23,919 --> 01:20:25,318
- Wait a minute.
1761
01:20:30,292 --> 01:20:31,842
You did this!
1762
01:20:31,843 --> 01:20:33,393
Somehow, you made my
characters come to life.
1763
01:20:33,395 --> 01:20:35,729
- Sweeney, come on, me?
1764
01:20:35,731 --> 01:20:37,330
Okay, you're right.
1765
01:20:37,332 --> 01:20:38,298
I did it.
1766
01:20:38,300 --> 01:20:41,067
- Now, it makes sense.
1767
01:20:41,069 --> 01:20:43,403
You're the one who told
me to drop the characters
1768
01:20:43,405 --> 01:20:45,171
from my act.
1769
01:20:45,173 --> 01:20:46,673
- I never said that.
1770
01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:48,775
All I said was you needed
to challenge yourself.
1771
01:20:48,777 --> 01:20:50,176
- How'd you do it?
1772
01:20:50,178 --> 01:20:51,411
- I can't explain it.
1773
01:20:51,413 --> 01:20:53,647
Let's just say, in
the world of animation
1774
01:20:53,649 --> 01:20:56,149
you can pick up a few tricks.
1775
01:20:56,151 --> 01:20:59,986
You needed a challenge,
I provided one.
1776
01:20:59,988 --> 01:21:01,688
- Okay, fine.
1777
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:05,892
You made them come to life,
now you get rid of them.
1778
01:21:07,429 --> 01:21:09,229
- I'm afraid it
doesn't work that way.
1779
01:21:09,231 --> 01:21:12,699
Actually, Sweeney,
I'm lying about that.
1780
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:14,000
I'm not afraid.
1781
01:21:15,203 --> 01:21:16,936
- Okay, what am
I supposed to do?
1782
01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:20,907
I lost the comedy special,
I pushed my friends away
1783
01:21:20,909 --> 01:21:23,109
and there's a bunch a
mes out there tryin'
1784
01:21:23,111 --> 01:21:24,778
to ruin my life.
1785
01:21:24,780 --> 01:21:25,979
- Let me ask you
something, Sweeney.
1786
01:21:25,981 --> 01:21:27,747
What is it that makes you happy?
1787
01:21:27,749 --> 01:21:28,848
- Ugh!
1788
01:21:28,850 --> 01:21:30,283
Not this, not now!
1789
01:21:30,285 --> 01:21:31,184
Happy.
1790
01:21:32,354 --> 01:21:34,454
- Well, the trick is to
let life be the journey.
1791
01:21:34,456 --> 01:21:37,957
But let happiness,
and this is important,
1792
01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:41,461
let happiness be your shoes.
1793
01:21:42,230 --> 01:21:44,297
- Oh, that is good.
1794
01:21:44,299 --> 01:21:46,332
What the hell does it mean?
1795
01:21:46,334 --> 01:21:47,734
- I have no idea.
1796
01:21:47,736 --> 01:21:49,002
I read it on a
fortune cookie once.
1797
01:21:49,004 --> 01:21:52,772
♪ Look at me ♪
1798
01:21:52,774 --> 01:21:55,475
♪ All alone ♪
1799
01:21:55,477 --> 01:22:00,714
♪ I'm just tryin' to
see where I belong ♪
1800
01:22:01,283 --> 01:22:03,917
♪ It's just me ♪
1801
01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:07,320
♪ Here in my skin ♪
1802
01:22:07,322 --> 01:22:12,392
♪ And I'm waitin' for
the world to begin ♪
1803
01:22:13,495 --> 01:22:16,196
♪ And that's just fine ♪
1804
01:22:16,198 --> 01:22:19,733
♪ I'm just tryin'
to figure out ♪
1805
01:22:19,735 --> 01:22:21,768
♪ Is this why ♪
1806
01:22:21,770 --> 01:22:24,871
- The Character King,
by Justin Schlob.
1807
01:22:25,907 --> 01:22:27,474
Justin's homework.
1808
01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:29,476
Schlob.
1809
01:22:30,312 --> 01:22:32,378
What a shitty last name.
1810
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:36,483
Sweeney, blah blah blah,
30 years of comedy.
1811
01:22:36,485 --> 01:22:38,218
Should be admired
for his perseverance,
1812
01:22:38,220 --> 01:22:39,919
envied for his
talents and admonished
1813
01:22:39,921 --> 01:22:41,755
for his insecurities.
1814
01:22:42,891 --> 01:22:43,790
Huh.
1815
01:22:45,093 --> 01:22:46,926
He wears his celebrity
status like a suit of armor.
1816
01:22:46,928 --> 01:22:48,762
Nearly impenetrable.
1817
01:22:48,764 --> 01:22:51,264
Scratched and scarred with
mementos of where he's been
1818
01:22:51,266 --> 01:22:55,769
and reminders of where
he still wants to go.
1819
01:22:55,771 --> 01:22:56,836
Huh.
1820
01:22:59,374 --> 01:23:02,475
On stage, Sweeney is
a long head at home,
1821
01:23:02,477 --> 01:23:04,494
ready to do battle.
1822
01:23:04,495 --> 01:23:06,512
The conquistador, hmm, in
the center of the spotlight,
1823
01:23:06,515 --> 01:23:09,816
hurling jokes like canon fire
as he slays another crowd,
1824
01:23:09,818 --> 01:23:12,786
another night, another
show, another triumph
1825
01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:15,488
in the monarch of
the Character King.
1826
01:23:18,260 --> 01:23:19,425
Conquistador.
1827
01:23:23,098 --> 01:23:25,465
Justin, your little shit,
you're a good writer.
1828
01:23:27,102 --> 01:23:28,301
Wow.
1829
01:23:28,303 --> 01:23:29,402
Not bad.
1830
01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:32,505
- Were you gonna litter?
1831
01:23:32,507 --> 01:23:33,807
- Give me that!
1832
01:23:33,809 --> 01:23:35,575
What the fuck?
1833
01:23:37,546 --> 01:23:40,113
What are you guys doin' to me?
1834
01:23:40,115 --> 01:23:41,981
- You got nothin' to
live for, Sweeney.
1835
01:23:41,983 --> 01:23:45,018
- Get away from me, you
crazy fuckin' creatures!
1836
01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:46,119
Get away!
1837
01:23:46,121 --> 01:23:48,021
Get the fuck away from me!
1838
01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:50,824
You fuckin' crazy fucks!
1839
01:23:50,826 --> 01:23:52,292
Get away!
1840
01:23:52,294 --> 01:23:53,860
- Don't push him over so quick!
1841
01:23:53,862 --> 01:23:55,461
I wanna get in a
few more touches.
1842
01:23:55,463 --> 01:23:57,263
- This make you feel good?
1843
01:23:57,265 --> 01:23:58,498
You want it, then take it.
1844
01:24:01,369 --> 01:24:02,869
Enjoy, Sweeney.
1845
01:24:20,622 --> 01:24:21,588
- Oh, life.
1846
01:24:23,925 --> 01:24:24,624
Life!
1847
01:24:26,228 --> 01:24:27,126
Ugh.
1848
01:24:29,931 --> 01:24:30,630
Life.
1849
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:33,099
Life.
1850
01:24:36,938 --> 01:24:37,637
Life.
1851
01:24:44,646 --> 01:24:45,945
Life.
1852
01:24:46,882 --> 01:24:48,248
Life.
1853
01:24:48,250 --> 01:24:49,148
Life.
1854
01:24:51,586 --> 01:24:52,886
Life.
1855
01:24:56,124 --> 01:24:58,458
I know what makes me happy!
1856
01:24:59,361 --> 01:25:00,927
Killing!
1857
01:25:00,929 --> 01:25:02,929
- You're not talkin' about me?
1858
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:03,630
- No!
1859
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:05,999
Killing!
1860
01:25:06,001 --> 01:25:07,133
On stage!
1861
01:25:07,135 --> 01:25:09,035
Comedy makes me happy!
1862
01:25:09,037 --> 01:25:12,238
Being the Character
King makes me happy!
1863
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:16,309
Impressin' some high
school kid makes me happy!
1864
01:25:16,311 --> 01:25:18,645
My life makes me happy!
1865
01:25:18,647 --> 01:25:20,580
- You see for me, it's
that second cup of coffee.
1866
01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:22,282
- I gotta go.
1867
01:25:22,284 --> 01:25:24,951
I know exactly what I gotta do.
1868
01:25:27,122 --> 01:25:28,021
Jimmy?
1869
01:25:29,925 --> 01:25:31,457
James Monroe Yannel?
1870
01:25:32,627 --> 01:25:34,694
I wanna talk to you.
1871
01:25:34,696 --> 01:25:36,112
I was wrong.
1872
01:25:36,113 --> 01:25:37,529
I shouldn't a kicked
you outta my act.
1873
01:25:37,532 --> 01:25:41,100
If I go to Hollywood,
it'll be with you guys!
1874
01:25:48,944 --> 01:25:50,543
- You missed a spot.
1875
01:25:50,545 --> 01:25:51,945
You don't know
what you're doin'.
1876
01:25:51,947 --> 01:25:53,513
You don't know how to sweep.
1877
01:25:53,515 --> 01:25:56,282
- Jimmy, I always liked you.
1878
01:25:56,284 --> 01:25:59,519
You were the first
alcoholic I ever did.
1879
01:25:59,521 --> 01:26:01,220
Jimmy, listen.
1880
01:26:01,222 --> 01:26:04,657
How would you like to
get laid in my act?
1881
01:26:05,527 --> 01:26:06,426
- Laid?
1882
01:26:08,263 --> 01:26:09,162
Really?
1883
01:26:09,965 --> 01:26:12,398
- Jimmy Yannel on a date.
1884
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:15,101
- Not on a Monday or a Tuesday.
1885
01:26:15,103 --> 01:26:17,670
- You're gonna be a funny bit.
1886
01:26:29,150 --> 01:26:32,218
Hey, sorry for the
whole school thing.
1887
01:26:32,220 --> 01:26:33,186
- Whatever.
1888
01:26:34,155 --> 01:26:35,521
- So, what are you doin'?
1889
01:26:35,523 --> 01:26:37,357
You got another
project you're doin'?
1890
01:26:37,359 --> 01:26:39,258
- I had to find a new
comic to write about.
1891
01:26:39,260 --> 01:26:41,027
- Hmm.
1892
01:26:41,029 --> 01:26:42,395
Heather?
1893
01:26:42,397 --> 01:26:43,296
- No, her.
1894
01:26:46,234 --> 01:26:47,700
- Beat it, perv.
1895
01:26:47,702 --> 01:26:50,303
- No wait, Mary Ellen,
I wanna talk to ya.
1896
01:26:50,305 --> 01:26:52,438
- I got nothin' to say to you.
1897
01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:53,706
- I want you back.
1898
01:26:53,708 --> 01:26:55,608
Come on, Mary Ellen, I need ya.
1899
01:26:55,610 --> 01:26:57,744
- Forget it, Sweeney.
1900
01:26:57,746 --> 01:26:59,462
- Okay, fine.
1901
01:26:59,463 --> 01:27:01,179
Have you met the new woman in
my act, Margaret O'Sullivan?
1902
01:27:01,182 --> 01:27:04,150
Oh, my god, Sweeney was right.
1903
01:27:04,152 --> 01:27:05,551
You are a whore.
1904
01:27:06,721 --> 01:27:09,255
- Who are you callin'
a tramp, you tramp?
1905
01:27:12,494 --> 01:27:13,493
- Another.
1906
01:27:13,495 --> 01:27:14,427
- Why should I trust you?
1907
01:27:14,429 --> 01:27:16,396
- Because I gave you life.
1908
01:27:16,398 --> 01:27:18,197
Come back to the act.
1909
01:27:19,234 --> 01:27:22,602
- Well, if you're gonna
be a beggar, yeah.
1910
01:27:23,405 --> 01:27:25,038
Yeah.
1911
01:27:25,040 --> 01:27:26,439
Yeah.
1912
01:27:28,676 --> 01:27:29,742
- Where'd she go?
1913
01:27:29,744 --> 01:27:30,810
What did you do?
1914
01:27:30,812 --> 01:27:32,512
- She's back where she belongs.
1915
01:27:32,514 --> 01:27:34,014
- Oh great.
1916
01:27:34,015 --> 01:27:35,515
Now I have to find someone
else to write about.
1917
01:27:35,517 --> 01:27:36,349
- Don't worry about it.
1918
01:27:36,351 --> 01:27:37,216
You'll find someone.
1919
01:27:37,218 --> 01:27:38,584
- Shut up, Sweeney.
1920
01:27:38,586 --> 01:27:39,819
My dad's here.
1921
01:27:42,724 --> 01:27:45,558
- Oh, god, my dogs are barkin'.
1922
01:27:46,561 --> 01:27:47,560
Hey Justin?
1923
01:27:48,396 --> 01:27:50,730
Come on, I wanna meet your dad.
1924
01:27:52,467 --> 01:27:53,733
- You gotta wear the suit.
1925
01:27:53,735 --> 01:27:55,435
You are Heather are
like Mr. And Mrs. Leaf.
1926
01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:57,070
- Right.
1927
01:27:57,072 --> 01:27:59,639
How would you like
to snap my twig?
1928
01:27:59,641 --> 01:28:00,807
- Let's just do this.
1929
01:28:00,809 --> 01:28:02,809
I got a flight to catch.
1930
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:09,182
- Fitzy?
1931
01:28:11,486 --> 01:28:13,386
Me and you gotta talk.
1932
01:28:15,790 --> 01:28:17,123
- Come on, Fitzy!
1933
01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:17,857
We don't got time for this!
1934
01:28:17,859 --> 01:28:19,759
- It'll only take a second.
1935
01:28:19,761 --> 01:28:21,360
- I know why you're
here, Sweeney.
1936
01:28:21,362 --> 01:28:22,829
You wanna get rid of me,
but you don't have the balls
1937
01:28:22,831 --> 01:28:24,130
to do it.
1938
01:28:27,202 --> 01:28:29,102
That's what I thought.
1939
01:28:30,371 --> 01:28:32,205
- Come on, Fitzy.
1940
01:28:32,207 --> 01:28:33,639
- Hold your horses.
1941
01:28:33,641 --> 01:28:34,841
- Fitzy, wait.
1942
01:28:36,778 --> 01:28:38,878
- You son of a bitch.
1943
01:28:46,788 --> 01:28:50,623
- I don't want that
shit in my documentary.
1944
01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:57,463
- Wait, wait!
1945
01:28:59,434 --> 01:29:00,984
Fitzy!
1946
01:29:00,985 --> 01:29:02,535
I didn't come here to kill you.
1947
01:29:02,537 --> 01:29:05,171
I came here to bring you home.
1948
01:29:05,173 --> 01:29:07,206
If keepin' you out of
my act means I won't go
1949
01:29:07,208 --> 01:29:09,809
to Hollywood then so be it.
1950
01:29:09,811 --> 01:29:11,177
I love ya, man.
1951
01:29:11,179 --> 01:29:11,878
Come on.
1952
01:29:13,414 --> 01:29:15,148
This makes me happy.
1953
01:29:17,919 --> 01:29:19,819
- That makes me happy.
1954
01:29:21,556 --> 01:29:22,388
See ya around, Sweeney.
1955
01:29:25,760 --> 01:29:27,627
- Jesus, Sweeney, you all right?
1956
01:29:27,629 --> 01:29:28,694
- Terrific.
1957
01:29:28,696 --> 01:29:30,863
Hey, I'm sorry I fired you.
1958
01:29:30,865 --> 01:29:32,431
- Oh, don't worry about it.
1959
01:29:32,433 --> 01:29:33,599
- I do worry about it.
1960
01:29:33,601 --> 01:29:35,201
You're a good friend.
1961
01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,170
Hey, take this number.
1962
01:29:37,172 --> 01:29:38,704
This is a guy
lookin' for a condo.
1963
01:29:38,706 --> 01:29:39,839
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1964
01:29:39,841 --> 01:29:41,307
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1965
01:29:41,309 --> 01:29:42,208
- Hey!
1966
01:29:43,411 --> 01:29:46,546
Hey, can I get a
little help up here?
1967
01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:49,182
- You okay?
1968
01:29:49,851 --> 01:29:51,484
- Yeah, oh.
1969
01:29:51,486 --> 01:29:52,952
Hey, I'm sorry.
1970
01:29:52,954 --> 01:29:53,886
- Yeah.
1971
01:29:53,888 --> 01:29:54,954
- No, no.
1972
01:29:54,956 --> 01:29:55,955
No excuses.
1973
01:29:55,957 --> 01:29:57,290
I am sorry.
1974
01:29:58,459 --> 01:29:59,859
Oh!
- Jesus!
1975
01:30:04,199 --> 01:30:04,897
- Whoa!
1976
01:30:09,204 --> 01:30:10,937
- This whole thing,
unbelievable.
1977
01:30:10,939 --> 01:30:12,605
- Yeah, really
unbelievable, right?
1978
01:30:12,607 --> 01:30:13,940
Gees.
1979
01:30:13,942 --> 01:30:15,641
I wonder if Heather's okay?
1980
01:30:15,643 --> 01:30:16,976
- That was a bad-lookin' fall.
1981
01:30:16,978 --> 01:30:18,344
- Oh, my god.
1982
01:30:18,346 --> 01:30:19,512
Oh yeah, no.
1983
01:30:19,514 --> 01:30:20,580
No, that's great.
1984
01:30:20,582 --> 01:30:21,747
Okay, thanks.
1985
01:30:21,749 --> 01:30:23,916
Holy shit!
- What?
1986
01:30:23,918 --> 01:30:25,351
- I made the sale!
- Wow!
1987
01:30:25,353 --> 01:30:26,919
- Your ex is
gonna take that condo.
1988
01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:28,254
- No way!
1989
01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:29,655
Oh, my god.
1990
01:30:29,657 --> 01:30:31,257
He wanted to be
closer to Justin.
1991
01:30:31,259 --> 01:30:32,558
- This is so great.
1992
01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:33,659
Thanks, Sweeney.
1993
01:30:33,661 --> 01:30:35,261
- Ah.
1994
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:38,531
- Yeah, no, I gotta
go make money.
1995
01:30:38,533 --> 01:30:39,599
- All right.
1996
01:30:43,738 --> 01:30:46,839
- That was really nice.
1997
01:30:46,840 --> 01:30:49,941
- Well he deserved it after
everything I've put him through.
1998
01:30:51,613 --> 01:30:52,979
I guess I gotta go.
1999
01:30:52,981 --> 01:30:54,647
See ya around.
2000
01:30:54,649 --> 01:30:55,514
- Wait.
2001
01:30:56,684 --> 01:30:59,819
Are we gonna finish
this movie, or what?
2002
01:31:02,490 --> 01:31:03,389
- Oh.
2003
01:31:11,933 --> 01:31:13,566
- Thanks for comin', Sweeney.
2004
01:31:13,568 --> 01:31:16,269
- Oh, no problem,
I owed it to you.
2005
01:31:16,271 --> 01:31:17,270
- I'll tell me
teacher you're here.
2006
01:31:17,272 --> 01:31:19,405
This is gonna be awesome.
2007
01:31:19,407 --> 01:31:20,906
- Hey, Justin.
2008
01:31:20,908 --> 01:31:22,742
- Oh, hey Laura, hey.
2009
01:31:23,945 --> 01:31:25,478
- I'm really lookin' forward
to your guest speaker today.
2010
01:31:25,480 --> 01:31:27,046
- Yeah, cool cool.
2011
01:31:27,815 --> 01:31:29,348
- See you in class?
2012
01:31:29,350 --> 01:31:31,751
- Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.
2013
01:31:32,754 --> 01:31:33,986
Bye.
2014
01:31:35,757 --> 01:31:37,857
- See ya in class.
2015
01:31:37,859 --> 01:31:39,659
- I'll see you inside.
2016
01:31:39,661 --> 01:31:41,994
- I love you, sweetie.
2017
01:31:41,996 --> 01:31:44,363
- Good kid.
- Yeah, he is.
2018
01:31:45,500 --> 01:31:50,069
So speaking of kids Sweeney,
what are you gonna say to them?
2019
01:31:53,908 --> 01:31:54,774
- Wow.
2020
01:31:56,878 --> 01:31:58,611
Here's what I'm gonna say.
2021
01:31:58,613 --> 01:32:03,049
After all the sacrifices,
victories, the defeats,
2022
01:32:03,051 --> 01:32:05,451
one day you're gonna wake
up, you're gonna look
2023
01:32:05,453 --> 01:32:07,653
in the mirror and you're
gonna say, "Am I happy?
2024
01:32:07,655 --> 01:32:09,388
"Am I really happy?"
2025
01:32:11,492 --> 01:32:14,026
My mother used to say if
you find a job you love,
2026
01:32:14,028 --> 01:32:17,997
you'll never work a day in your
life, and she lived by that.
2027
01:32:17,999 --> 01:32:19,999
She got fired from
every job she ever had
2028
01:32:20,001 --> 01:32:21,767
'cause she never showed up.
2029
01:32:21,769 --> 01:32:24,220
Not my point.
2030
01:32:24,221 --> 01:32:26,672
The point is talent without
hard work is nothing.
2031
01:32:26,674 --> 01:32:29,942
Talent without hard work
is like you're wearin'
2032
01:32:29,944 --> 01:32:32,611
a beautiful suit, but
you have skid marks
2033
01:32:32,613 --> 01:32:34,013
on your underwears.
2034
01:32:34,015 --> 01:32:36,649
Talent is like a seed.
2035
01:32:36,651 --> 01:32:38,918
You have to water
it with hard work.
2036
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:40,052
So what are you gonna do?
2037
01:32:40,054 --> 01:32:41,354
Are you gonna do the hard work?
2038
01:32:41,356 --> 01:32:42,888
Are you gonna change
those underwears?
2039
01:32:42,890 --> 01:32:45,791
So when you look in the
mirror, don't ask yourself
2040
01:32:45,793 --> 01:32:47,126
how much money did I make.
2041
01:32:47,128 --> 01:32:50,129
Ask yourself how much of
a difference did I make.
2042
01:32:50,131 --> 01:32:52,365
Don't ask yourself
how rich you are.
2043
01:32:52,367 --> 01:32:54,667
Ask yourself how
much did I share.
2044
01:32:54,669 --> 01:32:57,703
Don't ask yourself how
much more is there to do.
2045
01:32:57,705 --> 01:33:00,906
Ask yourself what more can I do?
2046
01:33:03,044 --> 01:33:06,078
Then, when you look in the
mirror, you are not gonna have
2047
01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:09,448
to ask yourself if you're happy
2048
01:33:09,450 --> 01:33:12,785
because you'll already
know the answer.
2049
01:33:15,590 --> 01:33:17,390
- That was beautiful.
2050
01:33:18,526 --> 01:33:19,959
- Well, it's everything
I ever learned from life
2051
01:33:19,961 --> 01:33:22,461
and freakin' fortune cookies.
2052
01:33:25,400 --> 01:33:26,399
Shall we?
2053
01:33:26,401 --> 01:33:27,867
- Yes, definitely.
2054
01:33:28,803 --> 01:33:29,668
- Sweeney!
2055
01:33:29,670 --> 01:33:30,936
They want you!
2056
01:33:30,938 --> 01:33:32,671
They want you!
2057
01:33:32,673 --> 01:33:33,773
- Who wants me?
2058
01:33:33,775 --> 01:33:34,673
- Gene.
2059
01:33:36,043 --> 01:33:39,812
Heather broke her leg in
like six different places.
2060
01:33:39,814 --> 01:33:41,881
She's gonna be in
a cast for months.
2061
01:33:41,883 --> 01:33:44,717
They need someone to
fly to L.A. right now.
2062
01:33:44,719 --> 01:33:46,886
- What about my act?
2063
01:33:46,888 --> 01:33:50,122
- You still can't
do the characters.
2064
01:33:50,124 --> 01:33:52,458
- Well, even though he
bombed and beat up Gene?
2065
01:33:52,460 --> 01:33:55,728
- Oh, Gene was hammered
most of the night.
2066
01:33:55,730 --> 01:33:58,898
Plus, he knows Sweeney's funny.
2067
01:33:58,900 --> 01:34:00,199
Plus, they're desperate.
2068
01:34:00,201 --> 01:34:02,134
Plus, they need
somebody right away
2069
01:34:02,136 --> 01:34:04,620
or they're gonna
get somebody else.
2070
01:34:04,621 --> 01:34:07,105
Plus, you've been working
for this your whole life.
2071
01:34:07,108 --> 01:34:09,975
- So what's it gonna be Sweeney?
2072
01:34:40,241 --> 01:34:42,241
- See, this is what
I'm talkin' about.
2073
01:34:42,243 --> 01:34:43,476
It's a curse.
2074
01:34:43,478 --> 01:34:44,243
- What?
2075
01:34:44,245 --> 01:34:47,213
What are ya talkin' about?
2076
01:34:47,215 --> 01:34:48,214
- It's not a curse.
2077
01:34:48,216 --> 01:34:50,216
It's a choice.
2078
01:34:50,218 --> 01:34:52,184
It's a choice I made
a long time ago.
2079
01:34:52,186 --> 01:34:54,019
I'm glad I did.
2080
01:34:54,021 --> 01:34:55,988
- But does this
mean that you're--
2081
01:34:55,990 --> 01:34:58,023
- I'm not goin'!
2082
01:34:58,025 --> 01:34:59,892
- Have you lost what's
left of your mind?
2083
01:34:59,894 --> 01:35:01,560
- You're gonna turn
down the TV special?
2084
01:35:01,562 --> 01:35:03,929
- Yeah, and I'm okay with it.
2085
01:35:03,931 --> 01:35:05,197
I'm happy.
2086
01:35:05,199 --> 01:35:07,566
This is where I belong.
2087
01:35:07,568 --> 01:35:08,801
Come on!
2088
01:35:08,803 --> 01:35:11,070
I don't wanna
disappoint Justin again.
2089
01:35:11,072 --> 01:35:13,138
Oh yeah, do you wanna go
to dinner with me tonight?
2090
01:35:13,140 --> 01:35:14,273
- Yeah, I'd like that, but I--
2091
01:35:14,275 --> 01:35:16,709
- Yeah, great great great.
2092
01:35:40,735 --> 01:35:44,570
It is never too late to be
what you might have been.
2093
01:35:44,572 --> 01:35:46,171
George Eliot.
2094
01:35:46,173 --> 01:35:48,908
Oh, real name was Mary Ann
Evans, but that's another story.
2095
01:35:51,679 --> 01:35:53,112
George!
2096
01:35:53,114 --> 01:35:54,914
Where's the car?
2097
01:35:54,915 --> 01:35:56,715
- But I thought you were happy
being the Character King?
2098
01:35:56,717 --> 01:35:59,652
- I am, but this is my
own freakin' special!
2099
01:36:00,821 --> 01:36:01,654
George!
2100
01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:05,858
Hey, do you wanna
go to L.A. with me?
2101
01:36:05,860 --> 01:36:07,092
- Sure.
2102
01:36:07,094 --> 01:36:08,661
- All right.
- Yes!
2103
01:36:10,131 --> 01:36:11,030
- Sweeney?
2104
01:36:11,966 --> 01:36:13,132
- Oh, shit!
2105
01:36:13,134 --> 01:36:14,133
- You suck, Sweeney!
2106
01:36:14,135 --> 01:36:16,969
- You suck, Sweeney!
2107
01:36:16,971 --> 01:36:19,338
- George!
2108
01:36:19,340 --> 01:36:20,239
George!
2109
01:36:20,608 --> 01:36:21,307
- Get him!
2110
01:36:34,121 --> 01:36:35,821
♪ Go down the dream ♪
2111
01:36:35,823 --> 01:36:40,893
♪ It could be anything
you wanted to be ♪
2112
01:36:41,596 --> 01:36:44,029
♪ Go to a place ♪
2113
01:36:51,639 --> 01:36:52,838
- Sweeney, you bastard!
2114
01:36:52,840 --> 01:36:55,007
This is like the
freakin' marathon!
2115
01:36:55,009 --> 01:36:58,711
- If I go to L.A., I
could wear a bikini.
2116
01:36:59,780 --> 01:37:03,649
- If I see you in a
bikini, I will start pukin'
2117
01:37:03,651 --> 01:37:05,751
and I will never stop.
2118
01:37:05,753 --> 01:37:07,086
I shit you not.
2119
01:37:07,888 --> 01:37:09,121
- I'm not cleanin' that up.
2120
01:37:09,123 --> 01:37:10,322
Not on a Monday or a Tuesday.
2121
01:37:10,324 --> 01:37:13,926
Maybe a Saturday,
'cause that'd be okay.
2122
01:37:13,928 --> 01:37:16,362
♪ A family ♪
2123
01:37:16,364 --> 01:37:21,634
♪ Catholic with a capital C ♪
2124
01:37:22,703 --> 01:37:27,773
♪ You can't appreciate
the fortune ♪
2125
01:37:28,976 --> 01:37:33,278
♪ To be on time ♪
2126
01:37:33,280 --> 01:37:38,350
♪ You still become ♪
2127
01:37:39,687 --> 01:37:41,954
♪ Sucker punch in the
high school hallway ♪
2128
01:37:41,956 --> 01:37:45,924
♪ Reminds me of the time that ♪
2129
01:37:45,926 --> 01:37:49,862
♪ High school punch in
the sucker hallway ♪
2130
01:37:49,864 --> 01:37:54,333
♪ Assigns me to
the crying shed ♪
2131
01:37:54,335 --> 01:37:58,037
♪ All through the day ♪
2132
01:37:58,039 --> 01:38:02,441
♪ I carry on ♪
2133
01:38:02,443 --> 01:38:07,713
♪ Love me kiss in the
hallway reminds me of you ♪
2134
01:38:39,246 --> 01:38:41,380
♪ The snowy faces ♪
2135
01:38:41,382 --> 01:38:43,449
♪ The demon queens ♪
2136
01:38:43,451 --> 01:38:47,352
♪ The high rise roller to
the bum on the street ♪
2137
01:38:47,354 --> 01:38:49,421
♪ All one ♪
2138
01:38:49,423 --> 01:38:51,790
♪ A part of the ♪
2139
01:38:51,792 --> 01:38:55,861
♪ That's what makes
this city bleed ♪
2140
01:38:55,863 --> 01:38:59,832
♪ Big dick faces,
the downtown street ♪
2141
01:38:59,834 --> 01:39:03,435
♪ The People's Republic
to the Cambridge Beats ♪
2142
01:39:03,437 --> 01:39:07,906
♪ The singing ladies,
the rockin' boys ♪
2143
01:39:07,908 --> 01:39:12,978
♪ All make up that
city of noise ♪
2144
01:39:14,081 --> 01:39:16,815
♪ Everybody loves
the old Bean Town ♪
2145
01:39:16,817 --> 01:39:20,319
♪ So many guitar
pickin' around ♪
2146
01:39:20,321 --> 01:39:25,224
♪ Ah woman, dance with me ♪
2147
01:39:25,226 --> 01:39:29,795
♪ What much more could I need ♪
2148
01:39:29,797 --> 01:39:33,398
♪ I love her, but
she loves me more ♪
2149
01:39:33,400 --> 01:39:38,470
♪ Sucks me in, cracks my core ♪
2150
01:39:39,273 --> 01:39:43,509
♪ Baby ♪
2151
01:39:43,511 --> 01:39:46,445
♪ Baby ♪
2152
01:39:46,447 --> 01:39:49,515
♪ Everybody loves
the old Bean Town ♪
2153
01:39:49,517 --> 01:39:54,253
♪ So many guitar
pickin' around ♪
2154
01:39:54,255 --> 01:39:58,323
♪ Ah woman, dance with me ♪
2155
01:39:58,325 --> 01:40:02,361
♪ What much more could I need ♪
2156
01:40:02,363 --> 01:40:04,329
♪ Hey ♪
146511
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