Original subtitles

The Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.

The path to master its secrets is never-ending, harsh...

and lonely.

And yet shall I master them.

In the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts...

our training never frickin' ends!

I haven't seen your dad lately. Where could he be?

True, I wonder where Pop's been wanderin' around?

Where our camera crew has discovered a secret UFO base...

deep in the Japanese Alps!

Many such unexplored regions still exist in Japan!

"Where..." "...am I?"

"I am a..." "...Panda!"

What an interesting find.

It has a good coat of fur.

It could be stuffed to decorate the alcove.

Or it might make a good rug.

"Wait!" "I'm human!"

Men! Don't let him get away!

"Akane!"

"It's me!"

"Genma!"

Ah, Lady Kanna! As lovely as ever, I see!

"Kanna?"

What do you want, Hayato Ryujin?!

I found that panda floating down the river.

Perhaps I could make a muffler out of it as a gift for you.

"Help!"

The panda came floating down the river?!

Now will you hand it over to me?

I can't do that!

How very strange.

I'm the one who found that panda.

Surely, Kanna, you're not stealing my game from me?

Ah, I have a wonderful idea.

In lieu of the betrothal gift, I shall give you that panda.

Then...

you and I, Hayato Ryujin, shall be happily wed.

That will solve everything. Happily ever after.

Congratulations, congratulations!

Let me go!

It's too early in the day to act so lame!

"Ranma!"

"It's me!"

"Your father!"

Who're you?

Kotaro!

Wretched Kotaro. You're rotten to the core...

to interfere with our perfect marriage plans!

What marriage plans?!

Prepare to die! Men! ATTACK--!!

Interestin'! You're on!

Kanna, let's make a run for it.

Kanna has unusually hairy hands...!

Step aside!

Kanna--!

Step aside, I said. Can't you understand?!

Pathetic!

I'll leave it at this for today.

Kanna, I shall come for you again soon.

Hut, hut, hut, hut!

Lotsa weirdo idiots runnin' around.

Be careful, Kanna.

Are you worried about me?

Who, me?! Don't get me wrong!

I didn't save you just because we're engaged!

I never asked you to save me, anyway!

Huh! You're so uncute!

Our parents arranged our marriage anyway!

I don't care anything about you--!

"I'm so hungry...!"

Noble panda! Hang on!

That Ryujin boy is such a troublemaker.

He almost killed Panda-sama!

"It's like paradise!"

You did well to bring him here, Miss Kanna.

Very nice.

Now the village will be secure, won't it, Father?

Indeed. As you all know, the ancient legend says...

a panda that comes floating down the river...

will bring good fortune to the village.

The Legend of Lucky Panda was true indeed.

Panda-sama, our village unites in welcoming you.

Please relax and enjoy your stay here.

Psst! Kanna! What're you waiting for? More food for Panda-sama!

Yes, Father.

Here, Panda-sama.

Please enjoy my mushroom stew.

"It's terrible!"

Too much salt, maybe?

Maybe we shouldn't have let Kanna do the cooking.

You thief!

Panda-sama!

Pa, Heaven will punish you for calling Panda-sama a thief.

You're right. After he came, the drought ended.

And we'll have a good harvest for sure!

Panda-sama! Please forgive my inexcusable rudeness.

Also, please help my wife to bear a healthy child!

Thankee, thankee.

Just wait.

Panda-sama!

Here.

"It's like I'm in paradise!"

That s'pposed t' be some kinda wreath...?

Leave me alone!

That sure don't look like a luck-bringing face, though.

Wanna fight?! Dirty panda!

Stop it! What're you doing to Panda-sama?

Or is it you're jealous...?

Huh! Jealous over an uncute girl like you?!

'cuse me for being uncute!

Uncute is as uncute does.

"Kanna-Kotaro"

"Ranma-Akane"

Panda-sama!

The bath's ready for you.

"That's a bad idea!"

Don't be bashful. I'll scrub your back.

Come here!

Come, hop in!

It's terrible! Something terrible's happened to the headman!

To Father?!

Faith healers, can you cure the headman?

No doctor can cure this illness. It's incurable!

No--!

Just when the Lucky Panda is here, too.

How terrible. "Oh, my gosh."

Faith healers, can't you do something to save Father?

I'll do anything to help! Just tell me.

There is only one way.

Yes?!

He must eat the beating heart of a panda.

Only then will he recover.

The beating heart of a panda?!

Curses. He escaped.

Kanna's gone, too.

After them!

Wanted: Giant Panda

Kill Panda-sama?

We gotta do it to cure the headman.

This is terrible! Find 'im!

This is becoming interesting indeed.

- See him? - He ain't here!

Where is he?

Drat! Where could he be?

Master Hayato, where in these vast woods do we search?

Oh?

"I'm hungry..."

"Let's rest a bit..."

"I'm thirsty"

"Let's go this way!"

"I want some ramen..."

I've found you!

How'd you know where we were?

"No clue..."

Run!

- This way, Kanna! - Kotaro!

Come, Panda-sama! Hurry!

Curse you, Kotaro! After them, men! Go, go, go!

Not so fast!

That'll teach you! Nyaah!

You dirty--!

You know, right?

You can't keep runnin' forever, Kanna.

You could get hurt, too.

What should we do?

Only one thing.

"I'm sorry"

He got away!

Panda-sama! Panda-sama!

Panda-sama!

Hayato! Turn him over to us!

Nothin' doin'.

The panda's heart is the medicine that will cure the headman.

Yes. What greater betrothal gift than this?

Won't our wedding be wonderful, Lady Kanna?

You rat. Using the panda to get Kanna--!

Then I'll just take him from you!

Kotaro! Stop!

Fight me, and the panda will die. Then the headman will die, too.

Do you want Kanna to grieve, Kotaro?

Rats!

Very well, Hayato Ryujin. I shall marry you.

But please spare Panda-sama.

As for Father's illness...

I shall nurse him back to health even if I must give my own life!

Kanna!

Very well.

Panda-sama, please run away!

Kanna...

You must prepare for the wedding now.

We're off to prepare as well!

Shoot!

Congratulations, Master Hayato!

Kanna will be your bride, and you'll control the entire village.

Truly, I shall kill two birds with one stone.

Not so fast!

Get this: If you wanna marry Kanna, defeat me first!

Ex-fiance, thou art still a pain!

I, Hayato Ryujin, shall personally get rid of you!

Take this!!

It didn't hurt one bit, ex-fiance.

H- He's wearin' a suit of armor underneath!

Kotaro!

Kanna!

My dear bride, I've been waiting for you.

As lovely as ever.

Right, Kotaro?

Let me show my bride the Ryujin style of spearsmanship.

Cavalry corps, forward!

Die, Kotaro!!

Kotaro!

Stay away, Kanna!

And the death blow!!

Who did that?!

"I'm baaack!"

What?

Panda-sama!

You're a fool to have come back!

I'll make you dead!

You can't get away!!

Panda-sama!

Take this!

Ryujin Secret Spear-Thrust!

Panda-sama!

Kanna! Kanna! Kanna!

Father!

Headman, you're well?!

I had food poisoning from the mushrooms.

I've completely recovered.

See? In the pink!

So much for the "incurable disease"--!

I was stupid to have worried.

Sorry, sorry!

By the way, what's with the get-up?

You're even holding hands.

I see! You've finally decided to marry Kotaro?!

You're both so stubborn, I was worried for a while there.

It's wonderful, wonderful!

N-No!!

Father!

Don't be bashful!

Don't delay! On with the wedding!

"It's all good"

Panda-sama!

Panda-sama...!

Panda-sama...!!

No matter what, your dad's taking too long.

He'll be back, I tell ya!

He's your father, isn't he? Why not be more concerned?!

Who gives a darn about my rotten pop?

I didn't know you were so heartless.

It's lucky I didn't fall in love with you!

Me, too! Lucky I didn't fall in love with such an uncute chick!

'Scuse me for being uncute!

Pop!

Mr. Saotome?!