All language subtitles for Kevin.Can.Wait.S02E02.Business.Unusual.WEBRip.x264-RARBG.en

Hey...
Hey, Jackie boy, here's
your lunch right here, buddy.

I was gonna put in watermelon
but, uh, it didn't look good,
so, uh, I ate it.

And, uh,

it ended up being good.
Really good actually.

Uh, you got cherries.

Hey, uh, Dad where's
my lacrosse uniform?

Oh, I washed it.

Okay, tell me you didn't
touch my sports bra.

Started to,
then it kinda felt weird,

so I picked it up
with salad tongs.

I'll go get your stuff
for you, all right?

I thought you were
going talk to him.

You gotta tell him not
to pick me up from school.
He's driving me crazy.

Okay, guys, I'm on it.
I got a plan.

Okay, well, he comes
to every one of my
lacrosse practices.

Not even the
coach does that.
I got it covered.

Okay, just go to school.
Here you go.
Here's your stuff.

Under items are in the
middle like a sandwich.
Like a sandwich.

Not touching.
Not touching.

Now see how it works?
All right, have a good day.

Hey, hey, guys,
be leaders today, okay?
Be leaders!

Hey, uh, Dad,
do you got a minute?
Yeah, what's up?

Well, you know, I,
I just wanted to say,

ever since Mom passed away,
you have been incredible.

You know really involved.
Which is amazing.

So, so great.
Sweet pea,
you gotta spit it out.

I love ya,
but I got cookies baking.

Okay, well,
I'm thinking maybe today,

you don't go to
Sara's lacrosse practice.

Or, you don't walk Jack
home from school, you know.

He's got friends that
think it's a little weird.

What?
I, I don't walk with him.

I'm back like 25, 30 yards.

Yeah, that's the weird part.

Hey, look, I gotta make sure
he gets home safe.
It's is my job, all right?

Okay, well, maybe you could
just take a little vacation
from your job.

You know what?
By the way,
I was just thinking that

we should all take a
vacation to Hershey Park.

And I'm thinking
this weekend.
The whole family.

Oh, wow, fun.
Yes!

This, this is gonna be my
first trip as a full-fledged
member of the Gable family.

But we have other plans.

And then we can hit
Amish country?
How cool is that.

"Oh, look at me, I'm Amish.
I'm going to build a barn
and you churn the butter."

I don't know how
they sound like but...

Hey, hey.

Hey, Vanessa.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I was just in the
neighborhood, thought
I'd swing by, catch up.

What?
Okay, I need a favor.

You know how after
I retired I started
taking security gigs,

well today I need
a partner just for a one day.

No can do. No.
I'm a full-time dad now,
all right?

No, Dad...
The kids depend on me.

It's just one day.
Chale and I can
take care of the kids.

Okay, there you go.
Come on, I need you.

Just find somebody else,
all right?
I can't. I need the best.

Finally, we get to the truth.

All right, look, I guess
Superman could fly
one more time, you know.

Mm-hmm.
That would be great.

Okay. I'm just gonna
put on my cape.

And by cape, I mean
some fresh sweats,

because Superman
likes to keep it loose
in the caboose,

you know what
I'm talking about.

Oh, thank you.
That was perfect.

He's been so obsessed
with taking care of us

that he forgets he's
supposed to have a life too.

I know.
And every time I bring it up,

he just gives me
the tough guy routine.

So I just stick
with the usual,
you know, you're fat,

you're dumb, you're useless.

And he really needs that
right now. Thank you.

I do what I can.

Hurry up, idiot!

* I am not your
ordinary guy *

Wait a second.
We gotta go back, they didn't
put onions on my burger.

We're not going back.
Deal with it.

Did you get
onions on yours?
Yes.

Then obviously
you have my burger.
Can you trade with me?

Oh! Fine, fine.
You big baby. Here.
Thank you.

(STUTTERS)

What is that?
What is that?

I can't believe,
I don't know. Lipstick?

Lipstick!
I want mine back.

Oh! Fine, fine.
Listen, take it back.

Can I just get the
onions off yours?

I just want the onions.
Just your onions.
You're sick, you know.

Just onions.
That's all it is.

So what's the name of this
company we're working for?

Golden Phoenix Security.
It's a new company. Why?

(DEEP BREATH) I'm just saying.
You know, we're serving
divorce papers.

It's kind of low-rent.
(LIGHT GRUNTS)

They're paying us.

Two people to hand
a guy a piece of paper.
It's not that hard.

He's slippery, okay?

He knows we're coming.

I tried twice,
he got away from me.

You tried twice?

(LAUGHS)

Now I know why you had to
bring in the big man.

Wait a second,
is that him over there?
Yeah, okay. That's him.

That's the guy, right?
He's jogging.
Yeah, yeah.

Okay, here's the plan.
I'm gonna go around
the back...

New plan,
let the big man roll.

It's good to stretch, right?

Yeah.

Hey, aren't you
Anthony Baer?

You'll never take me alive!

I don't wanna take you alive.
I'm just gonna give you
an envelope.

That's all I'm gonna do.

Tell my wife I'm
not getting divorced.

A man can love two women!

He's fast.

Get back here. Hey, hey!
I'm just trying to give you...

Hey, kid, give me the bike!
Retired police business!

Hey, the steering's jacked!
It doesn't matter, kid.

I've been riding
my whole life, all right?
I got this.

The steering is jacked, man.

The steering is jacked!

(CRASHING)

Yeah.
What's up?

You okay there, Superman?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Just a little scrape
on the arm.

What's up?
I'm talking about your eyes.

Your pupils
are different sizes.

Oh, that's just the
cop juices flowing.

You look a little
concussion-y.

Fired up.
I can't believe he got away.

And he moved out
of his apartment,
so now we've got nothing.

No, no, I saw something
on his shirt, okay.

He had a, my God.

You know what it said,
it said "Staff."
Oh, that's great.

Now we know he works
somewhere on the planet.

There was an emblem be,
underneath it. It was like
a... (STUTTERS)

I'm telling you it was
a baseball, or like
a ball of yarn,

or like scoops,
scoops of ice cream.

Tomorrow, bright and early,
let's meet up at that diner...

What? Tomorrow?

Yeah.
No, no, no.
This was a one-day gig.

Oh, okay,
so Superman's a quitter?

No, Superman's got
a lot on his plate.
I gotta make banana bread...

Oh, Superman's gotta get
bananas, and eggs, and yea,

do you make yeast or
do you like...
I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go, yeah.
You buy yeast?

Where would you go to,
where do you go to buy yeast?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, boy.

Hey, uh, Dad.

There's somebody
here to see you.

What? Who?

Come on.

All right.
Come on.

(EXCITED CHATTER)
What's up, dog?

What are you guys doing here?
We're here to watch the game.

Yeah. You never come
to Enzo's anymore,

so we brought Enzo's to you.
(LAUGHS)

Yeah. Along with a little
message from Enzo himself,

"Profits are dipping,
please come back soon."

Uh, it was very sweet
of you guys, but I got a
lot of things going on.

I can't, I can't do it.
What are you cooking?

Oh, this is a sports bra.
Sorry.

Actually, Dad,
we can handle the laundry.

Yeah, but,
I gotta make a banana bread.

No, we already made it.
And by we she means...

We.

All right, I guess
I'm watching the game.

Yeah!
Yeah!

I heard through
the grapevine you did
a gig with Cellucci.

Oh, yeah, it was,
uh, it was an easy one.

One day, no big deal,
you know, just serving papers.

Should've been in and out,
but of course,
Cellucci blew it.

She's usually pretty good.
Yeah, not yesterday
she wasn't.

Well, what happened
to your arm?

Oh, I was, uh,
I was out raking leaves.

And the, uh, the rake
just got away from me.

The rake did that?

Either way,
it's good that you're
gettin' back out there.

You know, I gotta say,
it was kind of fun.

I'm sorry, I'm a little fuzzy
on this rake thing.

How does a
rake hurt you there?

Just leave it alone, guy.
Guy?

I'm just working it
out through my head.
It doesn't add up.

Kyle, we're talking
about how great it is
that your brother,

the widower,
is getting back on his feet.

Okay, fine.

(LIGHT CHUCKLES)
I'll work it out
on my own.

So, uh, you gonna
do more gigs?

I don't know, if Cellucci
had me something for me,
I would do it, you know.

Oh, no.
Why wait for Cellucci?

Go down there
and get your own gigs.

Yeah. You're a 20-year vet,
you're still in good shape.

GOODY: Yeah.
That's true.

Yeah, maybe I will.
Maybe I will.

Yeah. There you go!
That's great!

Okay. Unless someone
actually threw
a rake at you...

it just doesn't add up.

BOTH: Guy!

Excuse me, is this, uh,
Golden Phoenix Security?

Yes, it is.
Oh, well, in that case you
got yourself a problem.

I don't work here.
(LAUGHS)

Kevin Gable, Nassau police,
20-year vet.

I just did a gig
with you guys.

I worked with, uh,
Vanessa Cellucci.

Oh, you worked for Vanessa?
No.

(LAUGHS)
Not for. With.

She's a great gal, though,
great gal. She really is.
She's fantastic.

You know what it is,
it's kind of like a level
thing though.

I'm like more Seal Team Six,
you know, she's,

she's kind of like
Seal Team Two,
Two and a half in that area.

If she's even Seal Team,
you know. I'm not even
sure about that.

She might be the
guy on the aircraft
carrier with the,

the flashlights,
"Hey, park the plane
over here."

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS)
Anyway, here's my rezzy.
Enjoy that.

Great. I'll, uh,
give it to the owner.

Thank you. That's,
that's very nice of you.

What's up, girl?

It's my company, dummy.
Greg's my IT guy.

Hey. Thanks for the
heads up, Greggy.

I can't believe you.

I get you a job and your
first instinct is to throw me
under the bus.

I didn't throw you
under the bus, I was
promoting myself by

pointing out that
I'm slightly better than you.

You are unbelievable.

Why are you hiding
this from me?

You don't tell me that
you have your company?

Because your fat ego
won't allow you to
take the job.

I don't have an ego.
I have no problem
working for you.

Oh, really?

(IMITATING KEVIN)
I'm Seal Team Six,
and she's Seal Team Two!

(GRUNTING)

Ain't nothing wrong
with Seal Team Two.
Those kids work hard, okay?

And by the way,
don't try to turn this
around on me.

You're the one who lied.
I didn't lie to you.
We were trying to help you.

We?

No, I meant I,
I meant me.

I was trying to help you
get back out into the world.

Back into the world?
That's what Kendra...

Wait a second,
did Kendra put you up
to this?

Okay.
Please don't be mad at her.

She was worried about you,
she wanted me to throw you

a job just to
get you going again.

Oh, so this is
a pity job?
No. Not pity.

We just felt sorry for you.

That's the
definition of pity!

You know what?
I'm out here, okay?

And by the way, the name
you chose Golden Phoenix?

It sounds like a
Chinese restaurant.

What!
Yeah.

Excuse me, it's a bird
rising up from the
ashes into goldness.

Mm.

I'm getting
pork-fried rice.

Oh, hey, Dad.

Kendra.
How are you?

Oh, I'm pretty good.

I was thinking maybe tonight,
uh, I don't know, all of us
get together

maybe watch a movie or
something after dinner?

Yeah, that sounds good.
What do you want to watch?

Maybe that new one
with Brad Pitt-y!

What?

Vanessa told me
about your plan, okay?

And let me tell you something,
I don't want anybody
to pity me.

Oh. Pity.

Brad Pity.

Wow, that was a long walk
around the block.

Effective walk.

(SCOFFS) Okay, so, Dad,
what are you so upset about?

(SCOFFS) Why would you go
behind my back?

Well, because, you know,
all you've done for the past
year is take care of us.

Yeah, it's been a tough year.

Yeah, I know,
but we're okay, you know.

And now you need to do
something for yourself.

Mom would want you to
go back to work, and see
your friends, and shave.

You don't,
you don't like the...
Nobody does.

That's 'cause it's not done.
Wait till I go full ZZ Top
on your ass.

It's gonna be here.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh!
Look who's back at Enzo's.

Oh, big changes, boys.

Looks like K.G's getting
back in the work force.

Yeah! Now that's what
I'm talking about.
KEVIN: Mm-hmm.

So I guess the old rake
injury cleared up?

It's gettin' there.

So give us the details.
Who you working for?

Well, here's where I drop
the big bomb. Nobody.

That's right.
You're looking at the founder
and of Gable Security,

"Where In Security
is a Good Thing."

How's insecurity
a good thing?

No, no, no, no.

It's not
"insecurity." It's "In,"
new word, "Security."

And you're in security.
You get like a hug,
like a muffin, you know.

Like you're in it.
You're warm.

I like it.
Right.

That's why I love
your fat face, Mott.
I love it.

I also like that you're
starting your own business.
KEVIN: Right?

Yeah, man, just,
just like Vanessa did.

No. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

I had this idea
years ago, okay?

Vanessa stole it from me.

I don't know, man.
I mean, a lot of cops
have that idea.

I know I did.
Me too.

Me too, and I'm a fireman.

It doesn't matter. I'm gonna
rocket past the competition,
including Cellucci.

I'm going to be like that,
uh, that ride at Funland,

what was the one that
you threw up on, Mott?
The Catapult?

Catapult!
I'm gonna be like
the catapult.

I'm gonna catapult past...
Wait a second, that's it.

The catapult.
That was the emblem
on the guy's shirt.

Wait, what are we
talking about?

When Vanessa and I were
trying to serve the guy
papers, he had a catapult...

He must work at Funland.

I gotta go.
This, this makes sense.

I'll tell ya what
doesn't make sense.

That rake story.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

VANESSA: Hello.
Hey, Vanessa,

well you'll never guess
who just trapped himself
an Anthony Baer.

That's right.

Figured it out.
Mm-hmm.
You did?

So if you wanna apologize,
well you know where he's at.

(SCOFFS)
I don't need you too.

I'm already here.
No, you're not.

Uh, I can see you.
You're wearing a t-shirt
with your IQ on it.

No, no.
No, I'm not.

Okay, now you're looking
around like a moron.

(STUTTERS)
Where are you?

Right behind you.

I knew you were there.
I just, I was just
setting you up.

It's cool, right?
We got him.

So how'd you figure out
he worked here?

I was at Enzo's and it hit
me like a flash of insight.

You know how my brain's like,
it's always working and it
can't be explained?

You know, like, once someone
gets hit in the head with
a baseball

"Hey, I can play
the ukulele." You know,
they just crank it out.

That's how it happened.
Oh.

And how'd you
figure it out?
Called his wife.

All right.

Not as flashy,
it got you here though.

What's with the getup?
Well, he knows
what I look like.

You look like the Unabomber.

Okay. You can go.
And I got this.

No. No. Kevin Gable
doesn't just give up.

He finishes the job.
You know what?

That's, that's actually
a good slogan for
my new business.

What are you
talking about?
Oh, you didn't hear?

I started
a new security company.
Here's my, uh, business card.

Check it out.
Okay.

This is a scrap of paper.
'Cause the real ones
aren't in yet.

It's gonna take some time
'cause I'm getting
Van Halen lettering.

"Gable Security.
Where In Security
is a Good Thing."

Okay, what does
that even mean?
No, no, no.

It's "In," new word,
"Security." Like you're in,

like you're embraced
in the arms of security.
It's like hugging you.

Still don't get it.
Okay, it doesn't matter.
It's gonna be huge, thank you.

Okay. Well,
good luck with that.

Hey, you know what,
I'm gonna do you a solid.
You need a location?

You can have mine and I will
let the landlord know to
hound you for the back rent.

Back rent?
Yes.

That's what it's called
when you can't pay
the actual rent.

I didn't know you were
doing that bad.

It's okay.
I'll work it out.

But it's not easy to start
a business at thirty-nine.

Shut up.

At least you're out there
trying something new,
you know.

I've been living in a
cocoon since Donna.

Kids just keep trying
to push me back out
into the work force.

But I gotta tell you,
I don't know if I'm,
if I'm ready.

Look, you lost your wife.

It'd take anybody time
to crawl out of that.

Yeah, I guess.

All right,
so what you wanna do?
Okay, how about this?

When you're,
when you're getting
strapped in,

I'll come up behind and
serve him the papers.

(SHRIEKING)

You want me to get on
the actual ride and do that?

Um...

Yeah, I mean,
full disclosure,
I had a bag of zeppolis.

I ate a lot of it, so,
I don't know if it's
the smartest move.

But, I, you know...

Hey, you know
what we could do?
What?

Remember on patrol
in the parking lot in
Mulcahey's that night?

Yes, with the guy who
was trying to break into
the convertible.

And we did the thing...
Yeah, let's do that.

I love it. Let's go.
Do you like it? All right.

I wanna go next.

Let me on this thing.

Who, whoa, whoa,
another drunk one. No.

Ma'am get...
I wanna get on the ride!

Oh, I got it.
I'm undercover park
security, I'll take her out.

Ma'am, you had too much.
I'm totally good.

I'm gonna write up the report,
give me your name
one more time.

Anthony Baer.
Thank you.

Here you go.
You've been served,
Anthony.

Son of a...

(LAUGHS)

We did it.

Well, I hate to
actually admit it,
but we pulled it off.

That was pretty good.
Right?

And how happy are you now
that you don't have to get
on that ride?

You were so scared.

I wasn't scared.
It's okay if you are.

You were the one who
was scared. You're scared of
the whole business thing.

Okay, fine.
Can we just admit it that

we're both scared
a little bit of the,
the ride, life change?

No, I'm not admitting
anything. I'll prove it
to you right now.

So how do you feel?

It's all right.

As a matter of fact
if this line wasn't so long,
I'd ride this thing twice.

Okay, well,
I would ride it five times.

I will ride it 116 times.

And understand this,
I thrive in this environment.

(SHRIEKING)

(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
Yeah.

(GRUNTS)

Fun.
Good, we're good.

(SHRIEKING)

You're good, right? Fun!
Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm so glad you
guys got this video.

How many times
did you pass out?

I didn't pass out.
I was so bored I
actually fell asleep.

You know, the physics
of that are actually
quite fascinating.

See, the surge
of adrenaline...

Stop ruining it.

So you guys are doing this?
You're going into business
together?

We're thinking about it.
Yes.

Nothing's been decided.
Our brains got pretty
rocked on that thing.

(LIGHT CHUCKLES)

Well, our vote is yes.

In fact, I'm gonna
go open some wine
so we can celebrate.

Please.

Hey, I just wanted to
say thanks for doing
all this, you know.

But, I'm still the Dad,
all right.

I'm the one supposed to be
taking care of all you kids.

I know. But that doesn't mean
we can't look out for
you sometimes.

Thank you.

(LAUGHTER)

See that?
That I like seeing.

Yeah, me too.

Okay, just walk me
through this,
and I swear I'll let it go.

Tell me what
we're doing again?

Insurance fraud thing.

We just gotta get a shot
of this old lady without
her back brace on.

Oh!

Just got a shot of her
without anything on.

Oh, man.

I literally can't tell if
that's her front or her back.

I can't look at this.

Oh! Yeah, okay,
let's take a break.

Let's eat something.
I can't eat right now.

I have no appetite.
I gotta wait for
this to clear.

Please, for a sec,
all right.
Yeah. Good.

You gotta be kiddin' me.

Can you check.
Do you have mayo in yours?
Yeah.

I'm supposed to have
mayo on mine.
Sorry.

Deal with it.

Can you, can you,
can you just switch
with me?

I am not going through
this with you every time!

I'm just asking you
to take the...

Was that so difficult?
I don't think it was.

Okay.

* Don't want no sweet perfume

* Shake your thing,
go bust your move

* Do, do, do, do, do

* Do, do, do, do

* Oh, yeah

* Don't want
no high-heel shoes

* I just don't want no...