All language subtitles for E03

[Farrah] Do you have a key
for Chadwick's office?

- What was he doing?
- Let's go.

Come on in, Jayne,
sit down.

Chadwick, you sick pup.

We have confidential information
on half of the school.

Transfer the files
to The Crotch drive.

And I'm not into Ilo anymore.
We need to change direction.

I never even heard of Grace Ho,
and now she's everywhere.

- Where'd they find her?
- I think they made her
in a lab.

Whole deal offers
someone like you

a lot of ways
to make some cash.

Cost you some cheap vodka
upfront...

As long as she keeps her end up,
I'll make it happen.

- Yeah, of course, I'm in.
- [both] Grace Ho!

- [crowd cheering]
- What now?

You keep your end
of the bargain,

and let's plan
a weekly meet.

Sound good?

I've been there.
That's how it starts
with her.

Good luck.

[Farrah] My mom says I'm lucky
to be in high school

because I don't have to deal
with any real-world problems.

It's so condescending.

Real world, high school--
it's all the same.

Everyone is just doing
whatever they can

to appear like they're cool
and have it all together.

Truth is, we're all wound
tight as a coil.

Some just hide it better.

There's an actual
medical term for it.

It's called Duck Syndrome.

Basically it says
that when you see a duck

swimming across a pond,

it seems to be gliding
effortlessly,

but if you take a look
under the water...

- Hey.
- Hey.

...the duck is frantically
paddling just to stay afloat.

[sniffs]

[girls chattering angrily]

Oh, hi, Tripp.
What are you doing?

Changing for gym.

Is this a football
hazing thing?

No, no, today,
I identify as a woman.

♪ In a manner of speaking ♪

♪ I don't think
we'll be speaking at all ♪

♪ One, two! ♪

♪ There ain't nobody gonna mess
with me and my crew ♪

♪ Walk in my shoes,
look what we do ♪

How much did he win?

20 bucks from jag-off Ilo.

It's so gross that Tripp
would use the trans struggle

to win a stupid bet.

20 bucks, that's not a lot
for what he did.

- [laughter]
- Two heart.

Hey, when you were hooking up
with Tripp last year,

- were there any signs?
- That he was trans? No.

Trust me, there was no
gender fluid between us.

- 'Cause you swallowed it all.
- Can we please?

I'm just saying
there is zero percent chance

that he's legit trans.

Farrah, you don't actually think
he's trans, do you?

I don't believe anything yet.

Are you serious?

I just think
in situations like these,

it's best to judge slowly

and then judge
even slower than that.

It was a bet.
I saw him get paid.

I'm not saying it wasn't.

I'm just saying that I'm open
to the possibility

that there's more to it
than that.

Which means she needs to know.

Okay, say Tripp
is actually trans

and he's struggling with it.

That'd be sad, Farrah, defs.

That's not
what's happening here.

You do realize
that your search for the truth

is actually an OCD.

You should consider therapy.

It's not,
and I'm pretty sure

that's offensive
to people with OCD.

[phone chimes]

I'll be right back.

[drumline music plays]

Who shit in your sandwich?

- Your little
Grace Ho puppet did.
- My puppet?

She's not keeping her end
of our election deal.

Some Student Council
moral-high-ground bullshit.

Oh, man, we hate
the moral-high-ground
bullshit.

- We need someone
who doesn't mind--
- Playing dirty? Yeah.

Don't worry about her.
I'll talk to her, okay?

First game
is after school Friday.

I need to be
in that snack bar selling.

Mm-hmm, I got it. Fast.

I'm getting a vibe
off this Grace.

I really don't think
pulling her strings

is gonna be as easy
as you think.

Wow,
really going all the way

with that puppet metaphor,
huh?

[laughs]
Hey, I'll get it done.

- Okay? Don't worry about it.
- Thanks.

There she is.

Let's not pretend
this isn't weird.

- Hi, Dad.
- How you doing?

Good, you know,
besides your boxes

being in the garage and having
to deliver your mail to you.

I'm gonna take care of it.

You can't keep staying
in Air BnBs, so here.

What's this?

It's listings
for local condos.

I know that signing a lease
may make all this

seem more permanent, but--

Honey, I already found a place.
I got a two-bedroom downtown.

Right in the middle
of the gallery district.

Oh. The gallery district.

Yeah, I figured why not
cut out the commute?

I've always wanted live
in the center of the action.

Well, aren't you fancy?

Look, I, um--
I never wanted any of this.

[scoffs]
Well, you kind of asked for it.

You know, with the roaming penis
of it all.

Before I left,
you agreed not to take sides,

and that sounds
just a little like your mom.

I'm not choosing her side.

Just don't pretend
that me having to walk your mail

out to the driveway
just happened to you.

I know that.

And if I could've spun it
differently, I would have.

But this is where we are now.

And I can't start over
where every yenta in town

is talking about my divorce,
you know?

- There's nothing for me here.
- Nothing at all?

I told you,
it's over with her.

I wasn't talking about
your side dish, Dad.

Of course.
I-I meant besides you.

[sighs]

That's why I got
the two-bedroom place.

So you can hang out
whenever you want.

And we can do city stuff
together, you know?

Yeah.

Someday, I'm gonna find
that asshole

who sent that tape
to your mom.

[car starts]

[girl on tape]
I don't know.

My sister stopped
taking her Ritalin

and it actually
helped her grades.

[conversation continues
in background]

[door opens]

I'm not making
belly pancakes.

Well, you've been watching
upskirt videos all day.

I can only assume you've been
dropping puddles left and right.

I'm not watching.

I'm listening, okay?
And besides, you're the one

who told me to check through
these tapes for any Tripp stuff.

I know, I was just kidding.

So far, not one word
on any of these files

about Tripp
being trans anything.

- Hmm.
- I think it's time
to accept that Tripp

is just an insensitive moron
who made a bet.

Sometimes the answer is the one
right in front of you.

People aren't always lying.

Apparently Grace Ho did.

She's not keeping
her end of the deal with Hook.

So that's on me to fix.

Well, you did make that bed.

Okay, well,
go back to listening,

and hit me up
if you find anything.

Okay.

There's no reason
for him to come back--
he already won the bet.

And even if he did it
just to be a perv,

it's not like any of us
are changing in front of him.

I don't even think Tripp
wants to see us change.

Hey, did you get anything
on Grace yet?

Well, obviously,
she has more style,
thanks to us.

Although, With-a-Y thinks those
man-boots she wore yesterday

were a big step backwards.

They're a little too
white supremacist for my liking.

Okay, first of all,
the boots are dope.

Second, you didn't tell me
that she has 713 followers

or that she updates
three times a day now.

That's not all that much.

She had six when we found her.

You're shocked
she's more popular?

We made her that way.

When's the last time she updated
her latch-hooking Tumblr?

Two weeks ago.

Looks like she's dropping

her old hobby for a new hobby.

- What's her new hobby?
- Herself.

Hey, what's up?

Hey.
So we're doing this again?

Yeah.
We're doing this again.

Okay. Let's do this.

Are you serious?

Yeah, why not? I mean,
it's just us girls, right?

Okay, I'm-- I'm gonna go
to the stall.

[western showdown music plays]

Your move, girlfriend.

The headline's a little
offensive, don't you think?

Don't you think you're being
a little snowflakey?

It's un-PC.

And you could have used
a better photo of me.

- There it is.
- Okay, it's more
about the headline.

- So did the move work?
- What move?

Come on, you changed
in front of Tripp.

You were testing him.
Did the test yield any results?

Oh, yield any results?
Like what exactly?

Like any...
signs of excitement.

Oh, is somebody jealous?

No, I'm trying to gauge
how ladylike

Tripp was in that moment.

Trans and gay
are not the same thing,

and not all guys get a rager
at the sight

of a Victoria's Secret label
or, say, a girl in the shower.

At our age we do, okay?
It's a hormonal thing.

Why, was it not that way
between you and Will?

Oh. Ta-ta.

[drumline music plays]

Hey.

I meant to tell you the other
day that I love your boots.

Thanks,
they're vintage...

- Redwings.
- Redwings, I know. So cool.

So I talked to Hook.

I thought you might. Um...

Look, he wants to use
the Student Council snack bar

at the football games and...
you know, him.

So let him volunteer.

Have him sign up on the list,
and keep it there

to prove
that he signed up himself.

I mean, you don't know what
he's gonna do once he's inside.

I've been a watcher
since I got here.

I know what goes on.
So I have a pretty good idea

that Hook may do
something illegal.

Exactly. You have an idea
of what he may do,

but you don't know
what he's going to do,

just like
with any other volunteer.

- Plausible deniability.
- I'm not a very good liar.

[laughs] We all are.
It comes with the age.

I mean, it's how
we get through the day.

I mean, I'm not
comfortable with it.

Look, Grace,

I respect
whatever code of ethics

you think you have,
but the truth is,

without Hook's help,
you would still be
a watcher at this school.

I mean, no offense.

You may look the part,

but don't forget
how you got here.

[all chattering]

This is ridiculous.

Okay, that's enough, everyone.
Settle down.

Look, if this is a joke,
it's been played out.

If it's a bet, you won.

If this is something
where there's going to be

six of you tomorrow and then
20 of you the next day...

You're trampling
on our rights.

[scoffs] As transgender?

Which clearly you are not.

"Clearly"?
You can't see my gender.

Yeah,
you can't see our gender.

[scoffs] Okay, I'm pretty sure
the douchier one

isn't trans anything,
and take off the pussy hat.

- You don't deserve to wear it.
- [all chattering]

Enough!

Okay, let's just all--

let's stand back for a moment
and think about

how long and hard the LGBT
community has fought--

"Q." LGBTQ.

- Thank you.
- [phone chimes]

The LGBTQ community has fought
long and hard for their rights.

Think about if you're making
a mockery of that struggle.

- All right, Tripp,
let's call it.
- No!

Whatever anyone believes
about why we're here,

or who we are,
is totally inconsequential,

because the law
is on our side here.

Now, Principal Cowher,
ladies...

unless you want an eyeful,
I'm changing for gym.

The law. You want
to talk about the law.

Fine. We're gonna
talk about the law.

We're gonna talk
about the law.

Let's get Chelsea Manning
in here and a few other people.

[sighs]

[school bell rings]

Wow, Grace, very progressive
for Student Council.

Actually,
Principal Cowher
called the meeting.

But it's a good idea.

Yeah, it is.

Hmm. So did you
patch things up with Hook?

Not really.

It's just I'm not comfortable
using the Student Council

- for illegal activities.
- Stop saying "illegal."

It's all legal
as far as you know.

Look, I get it.
You don't trust Hook.

But we've been friends since
second grade. And you bailing--

I know where you're going
with this,

and I appreciate everything
you guys have done for me.

- Really, I do.
- Do you?

I mean, there are
a lot of applications

that get sent to the Ivys
that have good grades

and test scores,
but only one person per school

gets to put "Class President"
on their app.

Is this where you tell me
that if I don't play along,

that you or Hook can make
my presidency short-lived?

[laughs]
Uh, we're not mobsters,

and let's not forget
I am on your side.

It was my idea
to get you elected.

Tell Hook I unlock the snack bar
two hours before game time

and to not involve me
whatsoever

in whatever legal thing
he's doing.

Will do.

[singsong] Thank you!

[sighs]

Colin?

Honey...are you ready?

Hey, I heard the press vans
are setting up in the lot.

- It's gonna be a circus.
- I hate the circus.

You kind of called
for this meeting.

Yes, I know, but now I have
this Crotch thing

undermining me at every turn,
and I don't see--

The Crotch
isn't really about you, okay?

Most of the posts
are about the students.

Be that as it may, I still
have to deal with that,

and now the press showing up,
and everything I say

is gonna be on tape
and scrutinized,

and there's a million ways
for me to screw this up--

Mom,
you are amazing at your job.

Okay?
You're gonna crush it tonight.

Or be crushed.
Let's go.

You love me either way,
right?

Yeah.

How'd you do with Grace?

She's a gamer.
We worked it out.

No. Way.

♪ She's so chic ♪

♪ I'd like to be her ♪

♪ She's so cool ♪

You gotta feel bad
for the trans community.

First they're represented
by a Kardashian,

and now these brozos.

At least Caitlin
has nice style.

These guys are
wearing muumuus.

See you inside.

♪ I gotta be chic like her ♪

[Tripp] We stood our ground,
and the board agrees--

- the law is the law.
- [door opens]

What the hell, Mom?

I was waiting up for you.

[sighs] You're lonely.

No,
I just wanted to catch you.

Have you heard the news coverage
for tonight?

[Tripp] Yeah, it's really
about doing what's right,

and this is a conversation
that needs to be had.

And I'm-- I'm not a hero
or anything.

I'm just a guy who's speaking
for those with no voices.

Tripp is such a brave boy.

Okay,
let's not saint him yet.

If he's actually trans,
then good for him

for fighting the fight,
but if he's making himself

the face of something he's not,
then that is really shitty.

Why? So long as he's fighting
on the right side.

Because if he's not
actually trans,

then he's proving
the other side right.

And that is?

That any guy can just follow
a girl into the bathroom,

and there's nothing
she can do about it.

I mean, it's not
as cut and dry
as you think.

I guess you're right.

I'm gonna get out
of your hair.

What's with
the tech multitasking?

I mean,
it's very millennial of you.

I'm picking a shot
for my Tinder profile.

Don't say it.
It's what separated people do.

Okay,
let me see your choices.

Oh!

These are professional
head shots.

I hired a photographer.

And you are barefoot
in a tree.

- Why?
- I wanted something

that says playful
and low-maintenance.

[chuckles] Okay, well, you've
nailed it with the pearls, mom.

- Here, let me help you. Ooh!
- That's my favorite.

[school bell rings]

Am I crazy?

It just makes no sense that
he doesn't change with us today.

Maybe he's taking the day off
or he's absent or something.

[scoffs] Or he's changing
with the boys.

- [Ilo laughs]
- [Tripp] Oh, please give me
the detention, baby."

Hey, Tripp,
can I talk to you
for a second?

- I got this.
- Yeah, sure.

Keep your clothes on
over there.

[scoffs]

Wait, let me guess.
You missed me today?

I just don't understand.

The day after
you win the right

to change in the women's
locker room, you don't use it?

What is that?

I guess I identify
as a guy today.

You do realize
that if you abandon this now,

everyone's gonna say you
just did it for the attention.

Maybe, maybe not.

Was any of the trans stuff
real to you?

- Do you really want to know?
- Yeah.

Go out with me
after the game tomorrow

and find out for yourself.
[kisses]

No, I'm-- I'm good.

[disgusted sigh]

[drumline music plays]

[phone chimes]

[laughs]

You can just call rather than
warning me that you're calling.

Okay, I was just
at the pharmacy and--

And they ran out of lotion?

No, I was gonna say
I saw Tripp buying $30 tweezers.

$30? You checked the price?

- $29.25.
- What?

What does a football player
need with expensive tweezers

right before a game?

There's something up with him.

Yeah, exactly
what I was gonna say,

and that's why I put
a GPS tracker on his car.

Okay, that's a huge invasion
of privacy,

but also super creepy
that you have a GPS tracker.

It's for my keys, and besides,
you know that's exactly

what any journalist worth a crap
would do to chase a story.

Okay, let's not
lose sight of the fact
that your journalistic output

is for something
called The Crotch.

Be that as it may, this is
a curious turn of events,

and I figured you would at least
want me to--

All right,
all right, I get it.

Just let me know
what happens, okay?

You didn't call me
to tell me you were outside.

Well, I was-- I was trying
to be sensitive.

I-- I thought
it'd be awkward for you

to have to watch me
moving my stuff out.

I hear sad-ish words,
but your face is really chipper.

Yes, well, that's because
Mrs. Gold Puke

is watching from her window,

and I'm trying
to control the story.

I'm pretty sure
she already knows the story.

You know, it's funny.

At work, I could undercut
a Wall St. Journal story

that would drop a Fortune 500
company's share price in half.

But when it comes
to my personal life,

the only way I can spin it is--
is to give them smiles.

I get it.
I'll smile, too.

So, coming into the city
tomorrow?

Help me move in?

It's the first
big home game.

Kind of a big party weekend.

Cat's cradle.
I get it.

What I meant is I'll probably
sleep in in the morning,

and then I'll try to make it out
in the afternoon?

But only if you take me
to a good restaurant for dinner.

It's a date.

Could also take you
to the football game.

I'm assuming there's gonna
be alcohol at this...

big weekend party.

Look at you
being a cool dad.

I want you to know that none of
this craziness changes anything.

We're still gonna make
that trip to France,

only this time,
we're going to Paris, okay?

- Okay.
- Come on, let's go.

[music plays]

[referee whistle blows
intermittently on field]

Kind of a wimp move
having Farrah
fight your battles for you.

- Okay, puppet.
- I'm not a puppet.

- You're the puppet.
- Great comeback.

I could blow
this snack stand up
in a minute

and still get into
a prestigious college.

Right, but you won't.
You know why?

Because you like finally
being someone at this school.

[referee whistle blows]

Can I get
a homemade crispy?

- How's business?
- Less than.

Well, I'm glad
we worked something out.

I didn't want there
being any weirdness

in our friendship,
you know?

We're cool, right?

Yeah, we're cool.

Hey, how come
you don't update

your latch-hooking Tumblr
anymore?

You visit
my latch-hooking page?

Yeah, I mean,
I can be crafty sometimes.

I believe you can be crafty
more than sometimes.

Hmm.

[music plays]

♪ Got my heels on,
my handbag ♪

♪ Lip gloss,
and I'm poppin' ♪

♪ Don't gas me up,
don't crank me up ♪

♪ Don't you dare
get me started ♪

- ♪ Let's just party... ♪
- Big win, Ilo.

♪ Let's just party,
worldwide party ♪

♪ Got his outfit,
his ice slick ♪

♪ Nice kicks, he got it ♪

♪ Don't gas him up,
don't crank him up ♪

♪ Don't you dare
get him started... ♪

I'll catch up.

- Hey.
- Tripp is on the turnpike.

It looks like he's
on his way to the city.

- To the city now?
- Yeah, exactly.

You, uh--
you wanna go for a ride?

I'm at a party.
I'll drop you a pin.

- Pick me up.
- Okay.

- [knock on door]
- Colin?

Yeah, come in.

Hey, I got us Salads Plus.
You wanna come in and eat?

I was just about to, um--
Can I take the car?

Oh, uh... yeah, okay.
Postgame party?

No, I'm just gonna
go see Farrah.

Are you two an...

- Oh, she's a friend.
- Nothing more?

- No.
- Are you--

[clears throat]
are you seeing any--

anybody, you know,
in a relationship way?

Anybody?

Are you being gender ambiguous
on purpose?

Well, I'm just saying,
you know, if you are--

I'm fine, and I'm straight,

and I'm not questioning that
in any way.

Okay, well,
if you ever do question--

Yeah, I got it, okay?
All good in that department.

- Okay, cool.
- Mom?

Uh, the salad?

Thanks.

Drive safe.

Okay.

[hip-hop music playing]

Oh, hey. You want?

Yes, one, please.

Please?

Haven't heard
too many of those tonight.

I was raised right.

She said as she illegally
bought alcohol.

Ten dollars, right?

No. These are on me.

Thanks.
But I only asked for one.

What? You want me to join you
for a drink right now?

Okay.

But my manager
is not gonna like this.

[Jane] All right,
okay, where...?

[crowd groans]

What is he doing over there?

Looks like nothing,

just sitting there
in his varsity jacket.

Maybe he's waiting
for someone?

I don't know, hey,
are you gonna eat that tomato?

- Take it.
- I like cherry tomatoes.

Not regular sliced tomatoes,
though, because with those,

the tomato innards
sometimes water down
the leaves--

[gasps]
I see why he's there.

Holy shit,
that's a drag queen.

- You were right.
- She's fabulous.

Yeah.

Seems like they bought it.

You're losing a lot of business
hanging out over here with me.

Oh, that's fine.

I got a feeling they'll
still be thirsty in a half-hour.

Mm, thirsty.

If I can save
just one student

from dehydration,
well, I've done my job.

Well, thank you
for your service.

So can I ask what's the story
between you and Farrah?

Sometimes
our interests overlap.

Is "overlap" code
for having sex?

'Cause it's not
a pretty euphemism.

You're one
of her best friends.

If her and I were overlapping,
wouldn't you know about that?

I know she was seeing someone
last year.

But she doesn't really talk
about that stuff much.

Then why would I?
Oh, wait, no, no, hey.

It wasn't me with her.
She's just a friend.

Yeah, have a seat.

I still got a solid 30 seconds
left on this break.

Mmm. All right,
pack the 30 seconds.
Make it good.

- Be right back.
- All right.

[clears throat] Hey.

Cool Redwings.

Want one?

Oh, um, I don't really--

Grace, join the world.

It's not gonna kill you
to be a little social.

It's no cat-shaped ceramic mug,
but it'll do.

You, uh,
remember my ceramics project?

That was fifth grade.

Yeah, I was
super-jealous of it.

I wanted to steal it
out of the kiln.

I didn't think
you even realized

I was in that class.

I mean, you and Farrah
were always huddled

in the corner
doing something.

Yeah, we had our moments.

Yeah, she and I had
our moments, too.

Oh, uh, a moment.

Say no more.
I totally understand.

[Grace laughing]

[sighs]
He hasn't moved in two hours.

We must look like crazy people
sitting around

like we're on
some movie drug bust.

Crazy people, truth seekers--
they're all just labels, right?

So your dad is moving in
somewhere around here?

Yep. I helped him move
his boxes this morning.

Sorry.

It's fine.
It's just what's next.

- [car door opens]
-Yo.

Oh, my God.

[camera shutter clicks]

He's afraid.

[camera shutter clicking]

Hey, girl!
Hey, where you going?

- Don't!
- What?

- You cannot post those photos.
- Of course we can.

This will blow the roof
off the school.

- No.
- Besides, it's not like
Tripp's some great guy.

It doesn't matter
what he's done in the past.

It would never warrant you doing
something this shitty to him.

This is a huge story.

Yeah,
but it's not your story.

The kid's clearly in crisis.

He's probably going
through enough without us

making this a whole thing
for the school to talk about.

Let it go.

[engine starts]

[sighs]

I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to be a tyrant

- about the photos and all.
- No, I get it.

And you're right.

I can't believe I have
to come back here tomorrow

and help my dad move in.

What--
what time you driving in?

I don't know.
I think noonish or something.

Maybe you want get some
breakfast in the morning?

Sure.

Let's go.

[engine starts]

[ geese quietly honking ]

[Farrah] Teenagers
have to be good liars.

We have no choice.

We have to put on a face
that shows the world

we are the person
on our Instagram.

It's all one big act,

because everyone
is dealing with something.

Did you ever figure out who sent
that video to your mom?

I know what you're doing,

and we're not talking
about that.

Trying to be your friend.

Well, that's not
the way to do it.

Really, the best
any of us can do

is pretend we're cool
with all of it,

so you gotta keep floating.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

Just don't let them see
beneath the water.

♪ I'm a modern-day poet
in my head ♪

♪ But you won't hear
what I have to say ♪

♪ You're acting like
you don't know me no more ♪

Music featured in this episode
of Youth & Consequences.

♪ But if you look at me
closely enough ♪

♪ You might see
what I have to give ♪

♪ Run, run, ready,
I'm gonna get it ♪

♪ Run, run, ready,
ooh, ohh ♪

♪ She's so chic ♪

♪ I'd like to be her ♪

♪ She's so cool ♪

♪ I need to know her secret ♪

♪ I gotta be chic like her ♪