All language subtitles for Act Naturally (2011).eng

Hello, there.

Rusty Carter.
Pleased to meet you.

I officially regret
having eyes.

Who wants a drink?

No thanks.

Fine, fine.
More for me.

Have a seat,
young ladies.

Hello?

Hey, is this, um,
leah Collins?

Yes, it is,
may I ask who's calling?

Look, I don't know the right
way to do this or whatever.

Your dad died.

He's... Dead.

What?

Ok. Who is this?

It's Charlie tillerman.

You know,
his other daughter.

I'm sorry.

Did you just say
Charlie tillerman?

Yeah.

Ok. Is this some
sort of joke?

You don't even
know my dad.

Oh, wow.

Thanks for
reminding me.

Anyway, he died in a boating
accident or something

And this lawyer
guy called.

He said we have to
go down to Arizona

To fill out some paperwork
and pack up his shit.

Oh, and we
gotta to drive

Because there's just
a whole bunch of stuff

And we can't fit it
all on a plane.

You're serious?

So, this is real?

Yeah.

We gotta go pack up
his stuff.

Oh my God.

Hello?
Are you still there?

Yeah, I'm still here.
I'm just...

I'm trying to
figure this out.

I'm looking at
my calendar

And it says that my dad
was on a business trip.

I don't understand why would
he have so much stuff

That we have
to bring back.

I have no
idea either.

The lawyer just
said go to Arizona,

Pack up his shit,
and bring it back.

I mean, that's all.
That's all I know.

This just doesn't
make any sense.

I don't even know
why you're calling me.

You don't even know him... why
would you be notified first?

Well, I think it's probably
because I use his last name.

And I wouldn't, if my
mom's maiden name

Was anything other
than raper.

Yeah, I guess.

Oh my God,
my mom.

Did you call
my mom?

Does my mom know
about this?

No, I didn't
tell her.

So, you're welcome to come
with if you want,

But you gotta
cover half the gas.

Yeah, whatever.

Sorry I had
to tell you like this.

No you're not.

Fair enough.

I'll text you
my address.

See you tomorrow.

I can't unlock
my window.

You can't smoke
in here.

You've gotta
be kidding.

We're gonna drive all the way
to Arizona and I can't smoke?

You can,
just not in the car.

It's a road trip.

Exactly.

Which means we'll be
stopping at gas stations.

You can smoke
when we get there.

Great.

Please don't
touch that.

Shit!
Pull over.

What?

I forgot something
at the house.

Please, just go
back around.

Flip a bitch.

I'll be really fast,
I swear.

Is it important?

Yeah. It's really
important.

Please, I
gotta have it.

God...

"Flip a bitch?"

So you're sure my car's
going to be safe here, right?

Chill. It's just
for 3 days.

This is ridiculous.

Ugh. Is this car even going
to make it to Arizona?

When was the last time
you got your oil changed?

Have you had
your tires rotated?

Does your warranty have
road-side assistance?

Do you have
jumper cables?

Do you ever
shut up?

So... What do you
do for a living?

I'm an artist.

So, you're a
waitress then?

No.
Not full time.

Whatever.

What do
you do?

Oh, I work
in finance.

So, you're
a bank teller?

Not exactly. I'm a
financial systems analyst.

Thrilling.

Ugh.
That smells foul.

Holy shit.

Uh, are
we there?

I hope not.

Welcome to bear lake.

My name is Cory,
how can I help you?

Uh, yea, hi, I'm sorry
to bother you.

I think we may have
the wrong address...

Is this
2324 olive road?

Yes it is!

Ooh! Ooh! Are you
guys new members?

Members of
what?

No, we're actually here
about ned tillerman.

I don't know if you know him,
this is his daughter.

Oh my God!
You poor thing.

I'm so sorry
about your dad.

Thank you.

We're here
for his stuff.

Can you just
buzz us in?

Oh, yeah.
Whoopsies!

Did he just
say "whoopsies?"

Oh come on, you
heard that lisp.

It doesn't matter,
it's not even aword.

Yes it is.

My boyfriend in college
used to say it all the time.

Was he straight?

Straight enough.

Buzzer's broke,
so hold tight.

I'll open the gate
by hand.

Naturist?

What does
that mean?

Did you ever
read "walden"?

Nope.

You're a hippie artist and
you've never read "walden"?

No, I haven't.

Did you manage to become
a yuppie bitch

Without reading
"who moved my cheese?"

God, I love
that book!

Hey girlfriends!

What...
The... fuck?

Follow the path as it
bends 'round, park up,

Come back, I'll get
you all checked in.

Thank you.

Did you
bring us to a...

Mmm-hmmm.

And does that
mean that dad...

Dunno.

Can you stop
starring at his...

Uh-uh.

Me neither.

Jesus.

Hi, I'm Cory,
it's so good to meet you.

Charlie.

Hey you.
Hi! I'm Cory.

Leah Collins.

So...
Welcome to bear lake!

We're just here
to see rusty...

Rusty Carter?

Yeah, he said
he'd be here.

He certainly is,

But I think I'd better
take you to see kristi first.

She would be...?

Kristi lernner.

She's the resort's
general manager.

She's just inside,
so let me grab her.

Thanks.

Girls, it is a pleasure
to meet you.

I'm kristi.

I'm just so sorry that it had
to be under these circumstances.

Come here,
both of you.

Ned was just
a wonderful man.

A true hero.

His passing has been
really hard on all of us here.

Hey party people!

Mid-day daiquiris are
available pool-side!

Come and get 'em!

Yeah, sounds like you're
all real torn up about it.

Well, life
goes on!

So, we apparently need
to meet with rusty.

I take it he's
a lawyer?

Yes. After he spent
so much time here,

We made him our
resident legal counsel.

And he has
ned's will?

Correct. He's been
expecting you.

Great. Can you
show us to him?

Yes.

So...
We'll follow you?

Absolutely.
Right after you disrobe.

Ah, no that's
not happening.

Riiight.

My mom always told me
to get the money first.

It's a joke.

Oh. Ok.
Well, I'm not joking.

You'll need to disrobe
before you enter the resort.

I can show you to
the locker rooms...

I'm just gonna stop
you right there.

We're not taking
off our clothes!

So, how else to you
want to go about this?

I mean, we're not
here to judge you

Or your life choices
or whatever,

But that's exactly
what it is: A choice.

And definitely not one
we're willing to make.

It's pretty
fucking weird.

No offense.

Girls, the bear lake
naturist resort

Is a place where people pay
to come and be socially nude

In an accepting
atmosphere.

And the by-laws
of the resort state

That no one can be clothed
beyond this point,

For the comfort and
safety of all guests.

There's no exception
to this rule?

Right! Even if you're just here
to pickup your dead dad's shit?

No, really, kristi, we just need
to take care of a few things.

I'm sorry.
Rules are rules.

Textiles are not permitted
beyond this visitor's center.

Un-fucking-real.

Wait, did I just hear
someone say there's a pool?

Yeah, we have
an amazing pool, and...

Great. Just show us
to the locker room.

Alright, follow me.

Yo, what are
you doing?!

It's fine! I have a plan.
C'mon.

Oh, uh, I think we
should probably go

Get our bags out
of the car. Right?

What is your
brilliant plan?

Hold on...

What?

Hello...

So you have
a foofy towel.

So what?

Oh my God.

Charlie, focus
with me for a second.

They're obviously not gonna
let us wear clothes, right?

Yeah.

But there's a pool, so
we can just wear towels!

I mean,
problem solved.

I don't have
one of those.

I'm pretty sure
we're in a locker room.

Ew.

It's either that
or nothing.

Literally.
So take your pick.

Your's velcro's?

Cool, huh?

Packing light doesn't
always come in handy.

Are you
gonna change?

Yeah. But...
Turn around.

Come on.

Turn around!

Are you in 7th grade?
My God!

Ready!

Let's go!

Are you coming?

Yeah.

A little help,
maybe?

What was that
about packing light?

Thanks.

Uh, that's
not really...

I know.
And, I'm sorry.

We're really not trying to make
a big deal out of this,

But since there's a pool,
and people wear towels,

We'll fit
right in.

So please... just take
us to see rusty?

Um, I get the feeling you're
not going to back down,

So I will allow this...
For the next couple of hours.

If you stay any
longer than that,

You'll need to disrobe
like everyone else.

It's a deal.

No it isn't!

We're not going to
be here that long.

Ok, oh, how about you leave
your suitcases here?

Great.

Ok, let's
get going.

I don't want to leave
my stuff here.

Hello! Nudies aren't
gonna steal your clothes.

Come on!

This is
rusty's cabin.

I'll be waiting
right here for you.

Hello, there.
Rusty Carter.

Pleased to meet you.

Who wants a drink?!

No thanks.

Fine,
more for me.

Have a seat,
young ladies.

So it's a real pleasure
to meet ned's daughter.

Which of you did I speak
to on the phone?

That'd be me.
Charlie tillerman.

Charlie, your dad
was a good guy.

He was,
wasn't he.

Oh, I'm sorry,
we've never spoken.

I'm leah,
ned's daughter.

There's two
of you?

Well, there's only one
biological daughter...

And that's me.

That's correct, but there's
only one daughter

That he raised...
And that's me.

I'm sorry.

He never mentioned
either one of you,

Except in the will.

There's a lot of
legal jargon on here;

For the sake of time
we'll just skip over it.

Great.

No, I think it'd be
best if we heard it all.

It's ok,
we have time.

Well, there's really only
two main articles of note.

Ned wanted
to be cremated.

And he'd like his ashes
to be spread around this area.

Hey, so, has he already
been cooked or what?

No, we've got him in storage
down at the morgue in town.

If be could back up for
a second, brief aside:

What happened
to him?

Oh wow.

Skipped right over that,
didn't I?

Yes, you did.

It's the scotch.

Well, ned was working
with a buddy

On a motorboat here
at the resort.

They thought the engine
was out of gear...

Well, it started and the
propeller buried itself

In the middle of
his spinal cord.

He died instantly.

Poor bastard.

Do we need to go to the morgue
and get him prepared?

Rusty!

Yeah.

First thing
Monday morning.

What?!

Well the mortician
is out of town.

Where is he?

He's on
a fishing trip.

This is
absolutely insane.

There's other people
that work at the morgue.

Can't someone else
let us in?

Right! We don't
live around here.

Where are
we gonna stay?

You can stay here,
I imagine.

No, it's not even
an option.

I have to be back in Miami
Monday morning for a meeting.

I cannot miss
this meeting!

So what did ned do
when he was here?

You know, other
than get killed.

What is
so funny?

I just thought you'd be
a little less antagonistic

When you found out
you own the place.

We own one of these
little cabins?

All of bear lake.
He left it to you.

Get... Out!

That guy hasn't
seen me in two decades,

And now he's trying to make up
for it by leaving me

A fucking
nudist colony?!

Nudist resort.
Colonies are for lepers.

You're telling me right now that
my dad owned this entire place?

Technically,
until now.

The will states that
sole proprietorship

Shall be passed directly
to quote daughter unquote.

That's me!

Are you high?

That is most
definitely not you!

It's both of you.

Well, I'm blood!

He doesn't
know her.

I'm his daughter!

Well, technically
you're both right.

While Charlie is his
biological daughter,

Leah is his daughter
through common law adoption.

So, I find that the estate
shall be divided

Between the
two of you.

Beautiful!

I like the towels.
Nice touch.

Are you
on nitrous?

I just can't believe ned's
daughters are so uptight!

Anyway, we're gonna
sign all the papers,

And sign the deed over as soon
as you take care of his ashes.

This fuckin' sucks.
I'm out of here.

Charlie, hey!

Um, can I use this?

Yeah.

I'm gonna give you my number
and if you hear from Billy

Before Monday morning,
you know where to reach me.

It was nice
to meet you.

Likewise.

Well, now that you're
aware of everything,

How about I take you on
the grand tour?

Please.

Great!
Let's get started.

This is the
cabin area.

We have fifteen rooms -
let me show you this one!

So, there's either one or
two beds - this one has one -

Heater, air conditioner,
a night side table, lamp...

What do
you think?

Nice.

Hangers?
Really?

Everybody arrives
in clothes.

Whoa! You do not
see that everyday.

This is our gift shop,
"bare necessities."

And this
is Natalie!

Welcome!
Hi!

You guys sell t-shirts
at a nudist resort?

We're selling
them ironically.

Oh, so if we get one from here,
we can wear it?

No.

Well, this is our incredible
pool, hot tub, and sauna.

There aren't
many people here...

Is this just
a slow day?

It's been kind of
a slow season.

So how do you
stay a float?

Nudist resorts are actually
a growing industry

In the United States.

They make as much
as $300,000 a year.

Oh snap,
I'm rich!

Yeah,
that's not us.

How much does
this one make?

We can get into
all that later.

Lauren, these are
ned's daughters,

Leah & Charlie.

Oh, wow, hi.

Lauren is, obviously,
our lifeguard

And the head of
fitness activities.

Your yoga classes
are the best.

God, you really look
so much like him.

Oh, no, I'm actually not
his biological daughter.

I am.

Oh. I didn't...
Um...

What, I better
do this.

We will leave you
to your job.

We've got so much more
to see; Let's go!

And this is where
everyone showers.

We have to shower
with other people too?

Yup!

Alright, now that's
some kookie shit.

No kidding.

Ah, and this is our
restaurant, udists.

We serve three
delicious meals a day

Courtesy of our
wonderful chef, Cory,

Whom you've...

Is he that adorable gay guy
who's surprisingly well hung?

We don't condone gawking
at each other's genitals.

But yes,
that's him.

The menu changes
daily... you'll love it.

You guys do have a
liquor license, right?

Yup. Right across the way
at our bar, "fiesta cantina".

That's your
last one, ok.

Ok.

This is Trevor.

Trevor, these are ned's
daughters Charlie and leah.

Hi.

Hey.

I'm... really sorry
about ned.

He was a really
great guy.

And... one of my
regulars here.

I can see why.

I mean... because...
This bar is awesome!

That concludes
our tour.

Hope you
enjoyed it.

Yeah. It was extremely
enlightening.

Should I show you
back to your cabin?

I think we can find it
on our own.

Yeah. I think we just need a few
minutes to take this all in.

So if you need anything at all,
don't hesitate to ask me.

We won't.

Thank you.

Um, let's go.

Bye, leah.

Bye!

Can I have
a drink?

Yeah, yeah, definitely!
Let's have two!

I don't know
why I'm laughing.

We have to spend the whole
weekend in this insane asylum.

I just
don't get it.

Why would anyone want
to live like this?

This is why I like porn...

Because when I'm sick
of looking at balls,

I can just
turn it off.

I know!

I mean, I don't
really know, but still,

Like, my dad wouldn't
even let me wear a bikini.

So how was he
ok with this?

I really need some
hand sanitizer.

Let's just get
back to the cabin.

Let's get
out of here.

What are
you doing?

Man, if we gotta be at
nudie camp until Monday,

I'm at least gonna see if
there's civilization nearby.

Civilization?

Have you looked around?

I looked googled this place
before we go here,

And we're in like
100 mile dead zone.

Oh my God.

Did you bring me to
the Bermuda triangle?

It's like
"the hills have eyes".

Ugh, sucks.

There's gotta be
a dive bar somewhere.

Believe me,
I checked.

Maybe a
liquor store?

Please God let there
be a liquor store.

You coming?

No, I think
I'll stay.

Alright.
Suit yourself.

So, you
want anything?

Something to make me forget
today ever happened?

Done.

You ok?

I just feel like I'm
going crazy, you know?

Like, how does
someone come to this?

I feel like most other dads
are content to just sit

In front of the TV with
a beer in their underwear...

I'm sure your dad sat in
front of the TV with a beer...

Just without
the underwear.

Thanks for
that image.

Sorry.

I'm gonna
head out.

Good luck making
it out clothed.

God, what did you
see in this place?

Hey Charlie!

That doesn't look
like a towel to me...

Do you have
a light?

Here you go.

Thank you.

Would you like a cold
drink with that?

You got
a beer?

Yeah,
sit down!

Here you are.

Thanks.

So, um, how long have
you lived here?

Well, my parents bought
this place in the late 60s.

Whoa, that means
you grew up here.

God, that's crazy.
What was that like?

Not as cool as some
people might think.

I mean, it was great
as a child...

It's just a little strange
when you hit puberty.

But when I went
off to college,

I realized the apple didn't
fall too far from the tree.

I was all about being
naked in my apartment.

Which really
bothered my roommate...

But it didn't seem to bother
her boyfriend that much.

Well, when you went
to school though...

I mean, you had to wear
clothes there, right?

Yeah.

And my parents
ran a nudist resort,

So clothing shopping really
wasn't a big priority.

It was all hand-me-downs
and the goodwill...

And I really didn't have
a lot with the popularity.

God yeah. I totally know
what that's like.

People used to make fun of
me a lot in high school too.

I tried a bunch of
different styles -

Like I was grunge, and goth,
and punk for a little bit -

It really didn't
matter what I wore,

People still found something
wrong with it, you know?

I know.

Sometimes you just never fit
in, no matter what you do.

All that ended when I moved
back here my junior year.

Why did you
move back?

I had
a bad accident.

What sort
of accident?

A fire.

And, well, you can see
how that turned out.

After months of treatment
and months of crying -

I knew I had to learn to come
to terms with my new self.

It was either that,
or be very angry...

And I figured, what better place
to learn acceptance than here?

So becoming a burn victim made
you take over a nudist resort?

How does that
make sense?

Well... what made me
take it over

Was my parents moving to
Florida to be with my grandma.

And, there are
worse places

To come to terms with your
body-image, you know?

Yeah,
I can see that.

That's
pretty cool.

But it wasn't
all self-healing.

The first
couple years

I treated it like
a paid vacation.

I almost ran this place
into the ground.

That's when "good ol' ned"
came into the picture, right?

Yeah, and my parents fully
expected him to convert it

Into a summer camp
or something like that,

But he gave my dad his word
that he'd keep it as it was.

So, you said this
was a slow season.

If this place isn't
doing good business...

I don't worry
about that.

Bear lake is more of a home
than a business, I'm just...

I'm so happy
to be here.

Joe Wells...
Century 21.

Is this his office
or cell phone?

Ok. And you've already spoken
with him, right?

And he'll be discreet?

Ok, I just, this does not
need to be public knowledge.

Ok, I will see you
next week then!

Thanks again,
Maya.

You know what,
I have to go. Ok.

Just a sec!

Come in.

Hi! Leah, right?

Yeah.

What's up?

Oh, I just brought you guys some
extra blankets and towels...

It gets pretty cold
here at night.

Thanks, that was
awfully sweet of y...

Hey,
what's up?

Kristi sent me
to take a look at your heater.

Code yellow...
Repeat, cold yellow.

You guys have codes?

Yeah, we get bored.

Easily.

So what's
a code yellow?

It's a broken
urinal.

No, it's not!

It just means there's
a maintenance request

In the yellow cabin.

C'mon... we totally
could've had her.

Don't you have that date
night with your husband?

Oh yeah!
Yeah... i did.

Yes...

Yeah, um, dusty's cooking me...
Meaty lasagna because it's...

You know, my favorite so
he's doing a special thing.

Ummm...

Mmmm...

Oh... Uh, leah...
I'm up here.

I know.

No, it's ok.

I mean, I'm cool with it.
We're all used to it.

Cool with what?

You were totally
staring just then.

No I wasn't.

I've...
I've seen...

I've seen some
of those before.

Whatever makes you
feel comfortable.

I'm comfortable.

You're comfortable.

I'm so cool with
this right now.

Yeah, go ahead,
take a look.

It's gonna have to be
a long one but...

I'm ok
with that.

Yeah, no, eye contact
is always good.

Yeah, um, it's, well,
yeah I kinda feel dirty now.

You shouldn't.
It's totally harmless.

Yeah...
I mean...

Well, um... I'm glad that
wasn't awkward.

So, I gotta go.

You know, that husband
dinner thing.

So um, you're all set
on blankets and...

Yup! Absolutely,
I'm totally fine.

I actually did have
one question for you...

Um, is there a time when
the communal showers

Aren't so communal?

Actually tonight
there's a...

Sorry. There's a staff
meeting at 8,

So you'll have the whole
place to yourself.

And just get to the
yellow cabin when you're done.

I mean, when
you have time.

Repeat, code yellow.

That actually sounds,
pretty serious.

I should...

You should go.
That's why you get paid.

Just go.
Yeah...

But I'll see you
later, you know?

I'm gonna take
a look at that too.

It's not safe.

Well, I'll see
you later, ok?

So what do
you think?

They seem...
Nice.

Yeah.

Does anyone know how they
felt about being crowned

The "nudeyland queens".

Well, "Veronica" was pissed,
and "Betty" was... efficient.

Yeah, that's...
That's pretty accurate.

Shoot!

Did I forget
to pack it?

You will just
have to do.

They're never
going to understand

The way that
we live here?

All we gotta do is make
them feel at home.

And then maybe they'll
be relaxed enough

To drop
those towels.

That's not
gonna happen.

I spent all
afternoon with them.

Obviously ned
had a reason

To keep this place
a secret from them.

Why did he
give it to them?

They're just
gonna sell it!

No! He just thought that if they
came here, and experienced it,

They'd fall in love with
bear lake like we did.

Oh yeah right!

They will turn it
into condos, or a mall,

Or a frigging
golf cour...

Guys! Guys!

Those girls have
never been exposed

To this type of
environment before.

So of course they'll
be scared at first.

I was.

Look, if we try our best
and help them out,

Then I'm sure
we can...

They have no
obligation to us.

The don't
even like us.

Then we'll just have
to make them like us.

Cheers to that.

What the fuck
are you doing?

Get that
outta there!

That wasn't my
toothbrush...

Charlie! Why would
I use your toothbrush?

Why would you be using
a toothbrush to begin with?

'Cause you want
to be minty fresh?

No!
I need to relax.

And I left my real...
Thing... at home.

You could've
borrowed one of mine.

I brought three sizes.

Okay, this conversation
just ended.

So, did you at
least find a bar?

No.

Fiesta cantina's our
only option.

No shirt, no shoes
or else no service.

Awesome.

I'm gonna see
what's on TV.

Good idea.

Shit. Is this
pay-per-view?

Welcome to
bear lake!

We have a regulation
size tennis court.

You'll love it!

We also have
horse shoes...

And you can work up a sweat
in our outdoor gym.

And later you can relax those
burning muscles in our hot tub.

No, I think it's supposed
to be "educational."

And if you're looking for more
relaxing fun in the sun,

Bear lake beach is
only a short hike away.

And not only do we have
the amazing facilities

That you just saw,

But we sure know do how
to have a goodtime here.

We have weekly
theme parties!

Alright, I'll see you at
the pool table later on.

No more
of those jokes!

Hey! What's goin'
on girlfriend!

Two shots please!

We also host
private events...

Such as birthdays,
bar mitzvahs and weddings!

Take dusty's ring,
and put it on his left finger,

And repeat
after me:

Dusty I give
you this ring.

Dusty, I give
you this ring.

I didn't know they
ordained women priests.

They don't.

I ask that you put this
on Natalie's left finger.

So, is this
even legal?

I don't know.

You may now
kiss your bride.

And the fun doesn't
stop there...

Be sure to check out
Cory's rendition

Of "the man-Gina
monologues".

"My vagina is angry.

"It is.
It's pissed off.

"My vagina's furious
and it needs to talk.

"It needs to talk
about all this shit.

It needs to talk
to you."

So come
to bear lake!

It's where the
bares play...

No, uh uh.

We're leaving.

We're not leaving,
Charlie...

We still have to get
my dad's ashes.

Give me the body.
I'll burn it myself.

What is wrong
with you?

You saw
the video!

This place is a fucking
nut house!

I know.

I just saw a grown man
talk about his angry vagina...

I get it!

But, let's just make it
through the weekend

And then we'll sell this place
and use the money for therapy.

Like, eternal-sunshine
therapy.

Fine.

Let's just go
to bed.

I am sooo down
for that.

Hey leah!

You know...

I have lived here
for about three years,

And I gotta tell you, that's
probably the sexiest outfit

I've seen since
I've been here.

I'm glad you got
to witness it.

I sooo did not think people
would be awake this early.

I know, I have pretty
ridiculous bead head.

That's uh,
something.

It's horrible!

She doesn't like
my outfit, huh?

Yeah, it's the fact that
you're wearing one.

You know what, I think
she's just jealous.

Yeah...
That's probably it.

It is
probably it!

It's like a blanket with
sleeves, it's awesome.

You should
buy one.

I'll have
to look into it...

But, in the meantime...

We're actually going to go
get some breakfast.

You should come
with your moo moo.

That's an enticing offer,
but I have a lot of work to do

So I think I should probably
just stay here and do it.

What kind of work
do you do?

It's boring stuff.

I'm a financial
systems analyst.

It's thrilling,
I know.

Wow.

Trev',
you coming?

Okay, well that's
my cue.

Alright.
Don't work too hard.

I won't.

Oh, so that's
how it is.

Alright,
bring it, bitch.

Nice.

Hi, rusty.

That's the spirit!

Another day
like this?

If I can.

But this thing
keeps falling off.

So, will your sister
be joining us?

I dunno.

I think she is.

Oh yeah?
Why?

Hey, guys.
Good morning!

Go girl.
Welcome to the family!

Thanks.

Don't you
just love it?

Mmm...

I know!
There aren't even words!

Come join us
for breakfast.

Cool, yeah!

God, you bitch!

You just completely
abandoned me.

C'mon, Charlie.

This is
ridiculous.

You people are
fucking insane.

Good morning,
sunshine!

What is
this shit?!

This guy gets
to wear clothes?

Believe me, honey,
I'd rather not...

But there's a lot of jobs around
here that require clothing.

Yeah.
Like, carpentry...

Removing bee hives...

Frying bacon...

Auto repair...

Don't try it,
honey.

Um... why don't you come
help me in the kitchen?

Here we go,

"Over 40
and loving it",

In reference to the number of
sexual partners you have a day.

That towel is really
getting in the way.

Sorry.

Here we go, I now anoint you
my official kitchen helper.

Thank you!

Do you think I could get
one for the backside?

Ok, fine.

But if I were you,
I'd flaunt that Booty.

Thank you, but I think
I'll keep it covered.

I'm just saying!

If you'd stop hiding,

You may just discover
new things about yourself.

Really?
Like what?

Like...

Nudism is an awesome way
to protest materialism!

I understand that,
actually.

I spend too much
money on clothes...

Tell me about it.

Last month I bought a $2,000
pair of alligator cowboy boots.

Really?!

I wanna see
those boots!

Kristi convinced me
to return them.

It was a sad,
sad day.

So, you do realize
there are other ways

To achieve simplicity
in your life, right?

Like, you don't have to
strip off all your clothes

Just to protest
materialism.

Of course,
I know that.

That's not why
I live here.

Why do you
live here?

Well, I grew up in
Southern Indiana.

And growing up gay in Southern
Indiana was a nightmare.

Every fucking day of my
life some jock was like,

"Hey, suck
my cock,"

And the next day at school,
he would kick my teeth in.

I did two days at iu, and
the same shit went down...

So I just got
in my car

And drove straight
to west Hollywood.

But LA sucked too...
For different reasons.

Why?

The materialism, the elitism,
the expense of just getting by.

So, the guy I was dating
brought me to bear lake!

And, here I am!

He's sooo long gone,

But this is the happiest
I've ever been.

Good for you,
I guess.

You should try it.

This place-

Where who you are as a human
being is all that matters -

And what other
people think of you

Doesn't matter
a darn thing.

Well, I dig that.

I don't care what
people think of me.

You are
soo lying!

If that were true,

You wouldn't be sporting
the double-apron look.

So...

Do you know what you're
gonna do with the place?

You're not gonna like sell
it to developers, are you?

To be honest, I could
really use the cash.

Noooooooo.
Please don't do that.

I don't know where
I would go.

Well nothing has
been decided yet.

We just talked
about it this morning...

And then leah got
a call from some guy,

And she was on the phone
for a couple hours.

Ooh!
A guy?!?!

What guy?

Um, from the
21st century?

Sweetie... we're all
from the 21st century...

You mean a guy
from century 21.

The realty company?

That's the one, yeah!

We put out a couple
feelers to a few buyers.

But, with my luck, no
one will be interested.

I'll be honest
with ya -

As someone who's had nearly
four decades of bad luck -

This place is the only
'good luck' I've ever had.

I love you too.
Bye.

What's with
the clothes?

The nudism
didn't take?

No so much.

What's all this?

Cory let me out of the
kitchen for just a few hours

To help you clean the
cabin so... let's go.

You ready?

Yeah.

He has
romance novels.

They can't
be his...

There's like ten
of them here!

No that...
Doesn't fit.

There is so much I didn't
know about him.

Oh, c'mon, you knew
like everything about him.

Except for a few
choice hobbies.

Woah...

I found a
photo album.

This is when he took me to great
America when I was like, 12.

He refused to ride any
of the roller coasters

'Cause he go, like,
nauseous.

It's so weird...

It's so crazy
to see him.

Ugh!

Oh my God! Oh Jesus!
Naked father pictures!

Ugh, ewww!

That's disgusting.
That's disgusting!

That is so wrong
that I even saw that.

That just happened!

Clearly, he didn't
need these!

Why am I laughing
about this?

Oh my gosh.

This stuff even
smells like him.

I just found
his journal.

No!

He did not have
a journal...

He used to give me so much
crap for having a journal!

Do you think we
can read it?

He's not
gonna know.

You know what
we should do?

We should have
a keep pile,

So we can keep
the important stuff

And then box the rest up
or throw it away.

Oh my God!

What just happened?

Oh my God!

What?! What?!

Oh my God, your dad
was a slut too!

No he wasn't!

That was not his.

You don't
think it was...

He's not gay
Charlie!

Ooo hey!
I have an idea!

Let's use your dead
dad's nudie pictures

To pick up his
dirty condom.

Did you really
just say that?

You're so awkward...
Oh, my gosh.

You know what?

I think we should just burn
the whole cabin down?

It'll be faster.

You don't have
to stay.

You can go
if you want.

I mean, I'm totally fine looking
through this stuff by myself.

I'll go ask kristi
for a few boxes.

Cool.

I'm gonna snag
these two.

Go for it.

You got it?

Yeah.

Fuck!

You need
any help?

I'm so hungry,
I just wanna go eat.

Yeah, but I thought
it closed at 6?

I've got the
kitchen covered.

Come on. It's fine,
we'll do it later.

Let's just take this
one to the car. Lets go.

They keep plates
of food in the oven

For people who
miss meals.

Sweet!

Aw, fucktwat!

You ok?

Is everyone
ok in here?

Where did you
learn to speak?

Oh.
It's you two.

Hello, Lauren.

Hi...
Hey! Wait...

I know you guys haven't been
having the greatest time here...

This is going to be
the worst blister ever.

But we're having a party
tonight at the bar.

You should really
think about coming.

Great, thanks
for the invite.

No, seriously.
Consider it.

It's a theme party, and
the theme is 'one item'.

So, you can wear
whatever you want,

As long as it's just
one thing.

That sounds...
Promising.

Yeah, right?

Will there be like,
an open bar?

Trevor's usually
pretty generous.

Cool, I'll go.

Really?

Yeah, really?

Why not?

I mean, I could use something
to take the edge off.

But you sure have
a fascinating way

Of unwinding at the end
of a long, hard day...

Drop it already!

And, what about
you Charlie?

We'll see.

Great!

And for the record,

I won't tell kristi
about your textiles.

Thanks.

But you should think
about trying something new.

Can't hurt,
right?

Yes, it can.

I've totally got the
rug burns to prove it.

Charming.

Whatever, have fun
at your little party.

Ah, you're bad!
T-Rex rule applies.

You look like
a bunny!

Look who's
at the party.

I told you they'd
come around!

Yeah but drunk nudists
are scary to uptight prudes.

I think you underestimate
my charm. Yoohoo!

Hi!

Hey...

A sheet?

Really?
That's all you got?

What happened to your
new found freedom?

It was a little
too free-ing.

Ah. Come join us!
Come on.

Thanks.

Hey leah!
You want a drink?

Yeah! That's what
I'm here for.

I like your item!

Thank you!

Can I get you
a drink?

Sure, but I have
to warn you.

You're gonna have to
get me pretty drunk

It you expect to
sleep with me.

And you'd have to get me drunk
enough to forget I like cock,

So I think
we're good.

What'll it be?

Long island.

One long island,
coming up!

This round's
on me.

Hey trev, do you think
you could take five,

Come dance
with me?

Oh, sorry Lauren.

Whatever.
It's your loss.

Not really.

So I have a question
for you.

You're all punk rock
and nonconformist...

Yes?

So what's more
anti-establishment

Than what
we do here?

Kristi! Drink?

The usual.

That's a
valid point...

So, you're back to breaking
the dress code?

Oh come on!
Don't even!

What?

I totally followed
the rules.

They said
'one item'.

One item!

Weak.
Sauce.

I didn't even
wear underwear.

Well, that's
a start.

It is!

That tastes
fucking good.

Come one,
let's dance.

Uh, no.

I usually wait until the
second or third date

To let people rub
their junk on my ass.

So, here, here...

And... what date would
you consider this?

Well, what date would
you want it to be?

I like you!

Dude, I totally just
busted my knee!

Can we sit?

Sit down,
sit down.

You can have your
top hat back now!

Shhh.

I know.
Shhhh!

Close enough.

You are
so adorable.

Yeah?
Well, you're sweet.

Well, you're hot.

Is that so?

Uh huh.
Like, crazy hot.

Like the kind of hot when you
take pizza out of the oven

And it burns you...

You taste good.

Well you
smell good.

You know what I was
thinking earlier?

What's that?

That if I could
fuck a smell,

I would soo fuck
your smell.

Leah,
are you ok?

I would soo fuck
your smell.

Is this
your place?

Uh huh.

Well let's
go then!

Not much left...

You know what
I don't get?

Why would my
dad have a baby

And then leave her for
another baby? Right?

He cheated on me
with a different baby!

That's what's
he did.

That's exactly
what he did.

That's my cue!

Good night to you,
and good luck to you!

I think we need to get
you on to the water.

Ok, yeah, top it off
for me, thank you.

You don't
wear clothes!

What do you do
with your keys?

I leave them under
the doorstep.

Well I'm gonna sit here
till you find them.

Trevor?

Yeah?

I have a secret.

And what's
that secret?

I totally wore more
than one item.

Not for long.

You know
another thing?

I bet she had the
best christmases ever.

You know?

Like she had
presents under her tree.

And I bet she did not
spend her childhood

Wondering why her
daddy didn't want her.

Why don't we
get you to bed?

You're so nice.
I love you, Cory.

Love you too, but I'm not
gonna sleep with you.

That's your loss,
isn't it?

This is so crazy because I
totally did not even think

That you liked me.

What? Why?

Because I thought
that you liked...

Annie, curly Annie...

You mean Lauren,
don't you?

I... but she totally looks
like little orphan Annie,

Doesn't she?

I know!

I fuckin' love
that movie!

Hey... Hey,
what's wrong?

Nothing.
It's ok.

Look, Lauren and I never
had anything going on, ok?

Liar!

You are such
a liar.

I totally wouldn't
blame you.

She's a naked
fuckin' yoga instructor!

She's, like,
flexible!

Leah, I was
never into her.

Besides, she was
sleeping with ned...

What?

What?

He's married!

Are you serious?

And you didn't
stop it?

It's not like I can
control anyone here.

That's all you've done
since we got here,

Is try to control us!

No, we are not trying to
control you guys, leah.

This is
our lifestyle.

I am so fucking done
with you guys.

Leah, wait.

You're such
a hypocrite.

And your keys are
in the door, idiot!

Ow!!

You're just as drunk
as I was.

Where are
you going?

Kristi kicked me out
of the kitchen,

So I have to go find
for another clothed job.

Sounds like my only two options
are carpentry and bee keeping.

Charlie, we own
this place now.

We can make
the rules.

You don't have to have a job
in order to wear clothes.

Hi, kristi.

Hey, leah.

Do you have some
tape I can borrow?

Sure.

Thank you
very much.

What have you
got there?

Oh, just some new
resort rules.

What?

You can't
do this.

Actually, I can.

See, I now own half
of bear lake,

Which means I can make
whatever changes I see fit.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna borrow
this real quick.

Attention all
bear lake guests!

Please listen carefully

As we are establishing
a new set of resort rules.

Rule number one: Bear lake is
now a clothing optional resort.

You may wear clothing
if you prefer.

Sweet.

Thank God!

You can't take...!

Sure can!

Rule number two:
This one's important,

No adultery.

And rule number three,

Which is kind of my
personal favorite.

It also goes hand in hand
with rule number two:

No skanks allowed!

This means
you Lauren...

God, he was like
twice your age.

New rules my ass!

Hey, nice work!

What was that thing
about Lauren?

I do not even want
to talk about it.

Well, I don't know
why you did it,

But you are a flippin'
genius. Thank you!

You are welcome.

But seriously, I don't know
what you're so worried about.

You have
a great body.

Not really.

What are you
talking about?

You're like a statue!

A gawky one with shitty hair,
but still... a statue.

What?

I'm not a
fucking statue!

I have...

What?

No boobs and a fat ass.

You do not know what I've been
through my entire frickin' life

Since I
was fourteen!

My mom?

Former fucking
beauty queen, ok?

Like, seriously?

Imagine growing up
in that house.

Like, all she
could talk about was,

"Get off your fat ass
Charlie, and go work out.

Go get in shape.
Don't eat that."

I know!
Moment of truth?

I totally fuck
with the lights off.

Why?

I can't even believe I'm
about to say this... Um...

First grade.

Damon roth...
Called me "chunky".

I'm still on
a diet.

I saw you naked, and you
have nothing to worry about.

Thank you!

Cheers.

Well, that's not what
everyone thinks.

So, we're typical
American chicks.

Waa waa waa.

Right?

Alright seriously,
orange juice?

This toast is
fuckin' disguting.

But here's
the thing...

I made it.

Then you need
a better toaster.

This is what's weird...

And I so cannot believe
I'm about to say this...

But this place?

There's something about it that
doesn't make you feel that way.

I mean, that's kinda why I did
what I did at breakfast

The other day.

Bullshit! You did it
to impress a dude.

I did not!

Alright maybe... a litte.
But dude, whatever!

Like... it was actually...
Kind of liberating.

Well hey, listen.

I'm gonna head up
to that lake I think.

Ooo, go for it.

I actually need to take care
of some business too.

Need a hand?

No, I'm good.

Alright, have fun.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

What the fuck is
wrong with...

Leah, stop!

What was that?

An attempt at teaching
you a lesson.

What... don't open
the door for strangers?

Don't fuck
my dad.

Who told
you that?

It doesn't matter.
It's true.

You don't
understand.

I don't.

I don't understand why he would
leave a perfectly good family

At home to come fuck
some slutty lifeguard?

That's not
what it was...

Look at you.

You're a kid.
You're like, my age.

Your dad didn't
see me that way.

Well I'm looking right at you
and I know exactly what you are:

A distraction.

And bravo Lauren,

Because no one even
knew that we existed!

I mean, rusty didn't
even call us when he died.

That's not true,
I knew all about you.

Ned talked about you
all the time!

He was so proud
of you.

He was always saying that soon
you'd be the one supporting him.

Yeah, he said
that to me too.

Yeah.

See, he really wanted to
tell you about this place,

He just didn't know
how you'd react.

He said you had some
issues about your body...

He talked to you
about that?

He didn't know how
to talk to you.

And I told him
he should tell you,

But he thought you wouldn't
want to have anything

To do with
this place.

But look,
you're here now.

So maybe this is your chance
to prove him wrong...

I don't have anything
to prove, Lauren.

I just wanted to tell you
that what you did was wrong.

Hey, Joe!

Please tell me
something good.

You're breaking up.

Joe?

What?

Hold on Joe.

Joe?

Propane heater!
I have no clue.

You know what?
Hold on.

I think I see someone who
might be able to answer that.

Excuse me!

Natalie, right?

Yeah, what's up?

Can you tell me if any
of the cabins here

Are run with
propane heat?

Well... the cabins run on
electric space heaters,

But the restaurant
and bar...

Just a second,
Joe.

Who wants
to know?

My realtor.

I think this is something

You should be talking
to kristi about.

Fine. Alright Joe, she
says that the cabins

Are run on
electric space heaters.

Joe? Joe, can
you hear me?

Joe? Joe?

God... i hate
this place!

You know, I'd watch how loudly
you say stuff like that.

Hey Charlie.

Man, I'm really striking
out with this family today.

So... what are
you listening to?

Oh, she's this, like,
indie rock chick

That nobody's
ever heard of.

Rachel yamagata?

No shit.
Check it out.

You have something in
common with a nudist!

Scary.

I am sorry you're having
to go through all this.

Right.

I would give
anything Natalie,

Anything, just to have
a little bit of insight.

You guys all seem
to know my dad.

To me he was like
a stranger.

Okay, fine...

If I tell you
something,

Will you promise not
to go and tell Charlie?

Yeah.

So are you documenting
your nightmare weekend

Here at bear lake?

This? Oh, it's...
Ned's.

Oh.

Do you want to know
the truth?

Yes, please.

You're mom knew
about this place.

She knew about
Lauren too.

Shut up.

No, she didn't...

Yeah, she did.

So what brought
you here?

Did you get lost on
your way to bonnaroo?

Honestly, it was kind
of an accident.

You accidentally
became a nudist.

Well...

How does
that happen?

I was a runner
in college,

And we'd always do
these training runs

That took up down the trail,
past bear lake.

The big joke was about
coming down here,

But nobody ever did...

So one day, I took the turn,
I came down here...

Took off my shoes and my socks
and then I kind of sat here.

Till I finally got up
the courage

And just ran
into the water.

You know,
thinking about it

Is so much worse than
actually doing it.

It felt great!

I remember standing
there... right over there...

And then someone
stole my clothes!

What?

Yeah!

I looked away for a second
and they were gone.

My shorts, my shoes,
my key to the dorms,

All of it.

Getting back was a mess.

Not my finest hour.

But I still came back.

Even after that.

I met kristi, she
offered me the job...

I've never
looked back.

Your parents didn't exactly
have a storybook marriage.

Yeah,
they're human.

Just like any
other couple, they fought...

But at the end of the day,
they were happy.

A few years ago
they almost had a divorce.

Yeah.

I mean your dad felt
really guilty

About screwing things
up with Charlie -

And that caused a lot
of problems -

And he wanted
to leave.

But your parents wanted
you to have a sense security,

So they agreed
to stay together...

At least until you
finished college...

At which point, they
basically separated.

But then they figured
the arrangement

Had been working so
well for so many years...

Why to change something
that worked?

Are you ok?

Um... that was...
For your eyes.

Oh! I will absolutely
wash that.

The thing
is Charlie,

You gotta do your own
thing, you know?

Sell the place,
whatever.

I'll be fine.

But just take it
easy on Cory.

This place really is the only
home he's ever known.

I've got a class
I've gotta teach.

See ya 'round?

Yeah.

Four words, ladies...

Hot-tub-happy-hour!

No can do Trevor,

I've got to get
to yoga class,

Then I've gotta pick
the hubby up from work.

But I think this one
could use a little thirst aid.

What do you say?
You in?

Yeah.

I'll see you
later, ok?

Yeah.

Hey, has anyone
seen Charlie?

Yeah, I talked
to her a while ago...

Ooo, I see
Charlie!

Hey! Alright! Good job!

We knew you
had it in you!

Come over here,
sit next to me!

They grow up
so fast.

Who's drinking
around here?

You got a beer for
me, someone?

Thanks,
sis.

Cheers! Cheers!

Welcome to
the cult.

Come in!

Hey.
Can I come in?

Yes. Yeah.

So you're back
in the buff?

I am.

I like it... why the
change of heart?

Because I wanted
to apologize

For being an asshole
the other night.

And I kind thought that this
was the right way to do it.

You know...

I'm sorry you had
to find out that way.

Thank you.

You're a
musician too.

You are so gifted!
It's just not fair.

Ok, this is what I
don't understand...

And I do not mean for this
to come out the wrong way...

But you realize you could
be crazy successful

In the outside world,
right?

So why do you choose
to work here?

You know, I used to be a part
of the outside world.

I didn't
grow up here.

I was actually in
med-school before I came.

Whoa!

But I didn't like
the person I was becoming...

I was fake.

Making connections
with fake people...

And I started to
hate myself.

As soon as I'd walk
through the door at night...

The further I stepped out of
character when I was at home...

The closer I got to
who I wanted to be.

It was miserable.

I mean, I didn't
want to be a doctor.

Someone else wanted
that for me.

So I quit.

Coincidentally, my
girlfriend quit on me.

Then I went on
this journey...

Packed up and left.

Then I stumbled
upon this place.

And I'm happy here.

Trev,
I'm sorry.

I know
I screwed up.

I was just hurt, and upset,
and confused,

And I took it out on you...
And, the whole resort for...

Leah. It's ok.

Really?

Really.

No, like
really really?

Like, really
really.

So, Charlie, you think you might
keep the place after all?

Got a million dollars
to give me?

I knew it.

What?

I thought you were
starting to enjoy yourself.

You seemed so
happy tonight.

I know.

I am but...
It's just, you know.

It's about
the cash.

So now, it's all
about the cash.

I mean, look.

It's been about
the money

Ever since my dad left
my mom without a cent.

You know?

And he's never given
me anything...

Except this place.

So you're not gonna let us
live here anymore?

I... i don't mean to kick
you guys out of your home.

Wow, that's really not
my intention at all.

Leah just ran
the numbers

And this place just
isn't making any money.

So that's it?

Yeah.

You know, the real
world exists.

It's out there.

I know you guys
don't want to deal it,

But I have bills and
rent and shit to pay,

And all that
stuff happens

Outside this sweet
little bubble.

Cory!

I swear...

I'm going
after him.

Cory! Honey...

I'm sorry.

Don't apologize.

Do what you
think is right.

I don't know
what's right...

Shit!

Charlie?

Charlie, wake up!
Open the door Charlie.

Oh my God, Charlie
please wake up!

I'm kinda, like,
really naked.

Alright, this
isn't funny.

Charlie?

We're late!

Charlie!
Wake up Charlie!

What?

What the fuck!

I thought you were sleeping.
Where have you been?

Church.

Where do you
think I've been?

Where have
you been?

Thank you.

And we can talk
about that later.

Oh, yes we can.

We're so late.

I know, I know.

So you had
a goodnight.

It was pretty
fuckin' amazing.

Ugh, we're
so late.

Will you lock
the door?

Yes!

It's your fault
we're late.

I know. Blame me later.
Let's go.

Charlie!

Hey.

We were just
wondering,

Have you decided how
long you're gonna stay?

We're gonna sign some
papers over at rusty's,

And then we're gonna
hit the road.

Already?

Hey! I'm all packed up.
You ready to go?

Hey.

Hey, I'm sorry.

We're just kind
of in a hurry.

Well leah,
if you're going,

I'd really love a chance to
apologize before you leave.

Honestly,
it's not necessary.

I just don't like
to leave things

The way that
we left them.

Really, it's water
under the bridge.

Ok.

It was so nice
to meet you guys.

Bye.

So, I couldn't
tell you back there,

But we just got an offer
on the place.

Really?

Yeah.

I got the phone call and
I talked to my realtor.

She said we could have
it sold in like a week.

That's what
we wanted.

I'm gonna grab
my clothes.

You get changed, I'll
meet you at the car.

So how much are
we talkin' here?

Seven figures.

What?!

You can finally quit that
waitress-ing job.

You got
that stuff?

Yeah.

Rusty's been waiting.
Let's go.

Ready to sign
some papers?

Yeah.

Alright, I'll be
right back.

I'm gonna try calling
mom again.

To my homey.

Sorry that
took so long.

I've got to get a better
filing system.

Alright, here
you go.

Shit!
We gotta go back.

What, did you forget
something again?

No.

Ok, I read dad's journal,
and it had this business plan.

To turn bear
lake around.

Where is this
coming from?

We just signed
the papers!

Leah!

He wanted our inheritance
to be a successful business.

This is ridiculous,
Charlie.

Put the car
in drive.

I have a flight to catch;
I have a job to get back to.

This is what
your dad wanted.

Can we please
just try it?

Hey, kristi.

Hi ladies.

So, um, kristi...

I've decided
I'm staying.

I'm gonna keep
the resort.

Are you serious?

I never thought
you'd come around.

I'm so excited!
Thank you so much!

And in honor
of the occasion...

Rules, rules...

Rip them up!
Please!

And in honor
of the occasion...

I should tell
everyone!

How do...

Hello?

Attention bear lake guests:
This is charlietillerman

And I am the new
owner of bear lake.

No one is
going anywhere!

So I'm just
going to assume

You're all cheering
and chanting my name...

Oh, other news, it is
rumored that Cory might be gay.

See you all at the
communal showers.

Is it true?

Yeah, it's true.

Alright, you're gonna
miss your flight!

Let's go.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye! Whoo!