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1
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,806
Here's the funny part, right?
2
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,242
I am bleeding from the car crash
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,392
and my mom's like,
4
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,844
"You can't come inside
5
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,513
unless David's with you."
6
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,115
(laughing)
7
00:00:14,116 --> 00:00:16,649
I-I'm confused, are you laughing
or are you crying?
8
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,552
It's the onions, Junior, okay?
9
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,888
This story is hilarious.
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,723
You got to love family
11
00:00:22,724 --> 00:00:23,890
or they leave you
out of the will.
12
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,426
Dad, I love you so much.
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,461
Yeah, you're not
in the will.
14
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,064
Okay, maybe you
got to love family,
15
00:00:30,065 --> 00:00:31,531
but you ain't got to like 'em.
16
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,500
My brother Melvin,
who's coming over?
17
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,470
He's the most charming, fun guy
you ever want to meet.
18
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:39,340
But he's always got
some crazy, harebrained scheme
19
00:00:39,341 --> 00:00:41,040
that he wants you
to invest your money in.
20
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,310
Eh, say what you want,
he's my favorite uncle.
21
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:44,677
Yeah, that's because
he taught you
22
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,246
those stupid sleight
of hand magic tricks.
23
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,182
They're not stupid, Dad.
24
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,050
Magic is real.
25
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,223
Give me
my wallet back. (sighs)
26
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,891
Give me my glasses back.
27
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,264
Look, I know what I know.
28
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,733
Your uncle Melvin
stole my first watch
29
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,501
that I bought
with my DJ money.
30
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,170
He stole and then sold it.
31
00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:11,171
Dad, why do you always bring up
that stupid watch?
32
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,473
Was it gold or something?
33
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,276
No, it was brass,
and it turned my wrist green,
34
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,844
but it was mine.
35
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,413
Poppa.
People change.
36
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,515
Not Melvin. He's a conman.
37
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,065
Half of what he
says is a lie,
38
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,586
the other half is
the setup to his lie.
39
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,588
(doorbell rings)
Uh, that's him.
40
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:31,024
Okay, mark my words, he's gonna
show up in a tracksuit
41
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,025
with some beautiful
woman on his arm,
42
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:36,930
with a big ol' lie about why
he's come empty-handed.
43
00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,836
What's up, D?
44
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,771
Don't look so surprised.
45
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,306
Yeah, well, I haven't
seen you in a suit
46
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,608
since your last trial.
47
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,042
(chuckles)
48
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,553
Well, I guess this is
the Shawshank Redemption.
49
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:52,780
(laughter)
50
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:57,884
* Poppa's house, yeah. *
51
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,086
Aw, snap.
52
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:02,656
What it do,
my favorite nephew?
53
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,659
(laughter)
54
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,062
What's going on
with you, boy?
55
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,330
(laughter)
56
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,001
(laughing):
Give my ring back.
57
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,935
(laughter)
58
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,085
You good.
59
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,771
Give me back my car keys.
60
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,608
(laughter)
61
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,143
(Asian accent):
It look like the student
62
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,112
become the teacher.
63
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,647
Yeah, and the "teacher"
64
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,557
needs you to give me
back my glasses.
65
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,984
Oh...
66
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,388
(chuckling)
67
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,824
Oh, my God. Nina.
68
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:40,093
My nephew got to be
the luckiest man in the world.
69
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,895
You know what
I'm saying? Oh, man.
70
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,430
She is beautiful.
71
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,581
(Nina chuckles)
72
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,201
And who, pray tell...
Oh.
73
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:50,771
...is this little
angel over here?
74
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,641
Is this Dr. Reed?
No way. Mm-hmm.
75
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,677
Man, I was expecting
a nerd with glasses
76
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:57,944
the way
you described her.
77
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:01,014
Not a Victoria's
Secret model.
78
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,882
(laughing): Oh, stop it.
Call me Ivy.
79
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,018
(chuckles) You can be
my poison any day.
80
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,787
(laughing)
81
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,188
What's up, D?
82
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,399
Come on, you don't give
a brother no love?
83
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,460
Come on, man.
84
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,363
I'll give you some love when
you give me my watch back.
85
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:16,964
Still the crabby old man.
86
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,500
Mad about that
crappy little watch you lost.
87
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,303
I didn't lose it.
You stole it and you sold it.
88
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,238
Well, here.
89
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:29,243
Bam. A $200 bottle of wine
90
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,211
so you can stop whining.
(laughs)
91
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,679
You see what
I did there, nephew?
92
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,214
Yeah, I did.
(laughter)
93
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,384
That's called
a play on words.
94
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,885
We call that
a soliloquy.
95
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,087
(laughter)
96
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,489
Man, you should be happy.
97
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,292
Look at this beautiful
abode you got here.
98
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,760
Surrounded by
your beautiful family
99
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,095
and beautiful people.
100
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,800
Man. And you got you
a $200 bottle of vino?
101
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,001
(laughs)
102
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:55,667
POPPA: Yeah, well,
somebody ripped you off
103
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:59,440
because this $200 bottle of vino
says it only cost $2.
104
00:03:59,441 --> 00:04:00,907
You need to put your glasses on.
105
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,078
My glasses are already-
Hey, wait a minute.
106
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,945
Why can't I see?
107
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,148
* *
108
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,084
Dad, you won't believe where
Uncle Mel just came from.
109
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,619
(South American accent):
Argentina.
110
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:13,887
�C�mo est�, mi amigo?
111
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,022
(laughs)
112
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,524
Hola, papi.
113
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:17,925
God, I love traveling, man.
114
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,774
It complete changed me,
you know?
115
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,695
I used to be street smart,
116
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:24,432
and then I started traveling,
I became world-wise.
117
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:28,369
You know, I opened me up
to the what-ifs of life.
118
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,539
Yeah, like what if you got
your foot off my chair?
119
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,040
(laughs)
120
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,376
Oh, you're serious.
Okay. Yes, I'm serious.
121
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,710
All right.
122
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,212
Look, I know you want something.
So, how much?
123
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,080
The only thing that changes
with you, Melvin,
124
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,215
is the amount.
125
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:43,550
I got to earn
my brother's trust.
126
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,784
POPPA:
Mm-hmm.
127
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,185
Back in the day,
believe it or not,
128
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:48,255
I used to be a wild boy.
POPPA: Used to be?
129
00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:50,289
Like the time
you took Junior shopping
130
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,558
with stolen credit cards
131
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,427
and you both got arrested?
132
00:04:53,428 --> 00:04:55,261
Don't blame me
'cause your son is slow.
133
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,098
Look, and they let him out
'cause I took the hit for him.
134
00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:00,695
No, they let him out because
he was eight years old.
135
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,803
And you had one
of your lady friends
136
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,237
pick him up from the jail.
137
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,640
She was nice. (chuckles)
I touched her boobie.
138
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:07,707
(laughs)
139
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,777
I have never
heard any of this.
140
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,145
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
But that's all in the past.
141
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,182
Right? That's behind us.
I'm a futurist now.
142
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,650
You know, in fact, uh,
143
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,619
I got some tech guys
that's willing
144
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:21,254
to invest in my new app.
145
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,956
It's gonna
change the world
146
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:27,528
of psychoanalysis-analyticus.
147
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,365
Oh, boy, here comes the con.
148
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:32,766
Okay, wait, hold on.
149
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,234
Pop, I want to hear this
because this is my world.
150
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,337
See? And that's
exactly why
151
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,373
I'm stepping to you first.
152
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,874
See... (clears throat)
153
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,609
(snaps fingers)
...imagine, if you will,
154
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,844
I'm a patient.
155
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,713
I'm having a really bad day.
156
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,515
I mean, I got fired from my job
157
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:49,850
and they kicked me
out the house.
158
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,620
Anyway, I'm really upset.
159
00:05:52,621 --> 00:05:55,221
I call my therapist,
she ain't nowhere to be found!
160
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,024
And I want to just-
Going crazy.
161
00:05:57,025 --> 00:05:58,157
What do I do?
162
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,194
What do I do? What do I do?!
163
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,664
We don't know. What do you do?
164
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,566
MELVIN:
I pick up my phone,
165
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,968
I go to the Thera-To-You app
166
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:12,940
and boom, a qualified therapist
shows up on my doorstep.
167
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,676
It's like Uber Eats,
but for the mind.
168
00:06:15,677 --> 00:06:16,843
(imitates explosion)
169
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,879
Oh. Yo.
170
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,214
Yo. (laughing)
171
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,051
(Junior clapping, yelping)
172
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,841
Okay, so let me
get this straight.
173
00:06:25,842 --> 00:06:27,820
You have thousands of doctors
driving around in their cars
174
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,890
like Uber Drivers...
Right. Mm-hmm.
175
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,791
...waiting for someone
to jump off a roof?
176
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:32,893
JUNIOR:
Come on, Dad.
177
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:36,129
Uncle Melvin
is a visionary, okay?
178
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:39,432
Dad, this could be bigger
than the George Foreman Grill.
179
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,602
Junior, I don't
know about this.
180
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,037
And you know what, Nina?
You- I respect that.
181
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,874
You know, I respect
your point of view
182
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,709
because, you know,
as his wife,
183
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:51,311
it's your fi-duck-irary
responsibility
184
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,214
to really care
about your finances.
185
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:57,250
Look, I know a good
opportunity when I hear one,
186
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,019
and I am
hearing one, Unc.
187
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,421
That's 'cause you are smart.
Mm-hmm.
188
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,256
Now, if your daddy
189
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,192
was as smart
as you are,
190
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,342
we'd be rich.
191
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,529
I am rich.
(Melvin scoffs)
192
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,198
You ain't
doomed Titanic submersible rich.
193
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:13,100
(sarcastic laugh) Nephew?
Mm?
194
00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,667
You seen the bottom
of the ocean floor?
195
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,104
(laughs) Not a once.
(laughs haughtily)
196
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,006
With your broke ass.
197
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,974
(Melvin and Junior laughing)
198
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,743
Nah, it's all good.
199
00:07:22,744 --> 00:07:24,276
Look at him, festering in hate.
200
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,657
It's all good. You know what?
201
00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:27,514
We'll talk about this
another time.
202
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,916
Maybe over some coffee.
203
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,485
You know, away from
the dream killer.
204
00:07:31,486 --> 00:07:32,919
And, uh, nephew,
if you want to get down,
205
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,287
you c-come on through, too.
206
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:36,023
No. I forbid all of you
207
00:07:36,024 --> 00:07:37,657
from getting into business
with him.
208
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,027
(gasps)
Forbid me? Forbid me?
209
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,629
You gonna take that?
210
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:43,330
He forbids you?
211
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,665
(Melvin faux gasps)
212
00:07:44,666 --> 00:07:46,566
Dad, I'm a grown man.
I can make my own decisions.
213
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,100
Right, Uncle Melvin?
You damn skippy.
214
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,971
Fine. Well, you guys do you.
215
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,906
Don't say
I didn't warn you, okay?
216
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,644
But he's gonna take your money,
just watch.
217
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,983
I feel you.
I feel your-
218
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,251
your "cauti-arities."
219
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:07,054
And so, look, I don't want
you to do anything
220
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,823
that your beautiful,
loving heart
221
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,358
does not feel
222
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,493
it wants to do.
You know? Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,362
(sips) Mm.
224
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,898
I was just talking
to, uh, "Breenie" Brown,
225
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,933
and, uh,
I was telling her, right,
226
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,570
n-nobody want it
till somebody else got it.
227
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,038
(chuckles): And then
everybody want to get it.
228
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,041
It's "Bren�."
229
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:29,075
Bren� Brown.
230
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,845
Right. You say "po-tah-to,"
231
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,446
I say "to-may-to."
232
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:37,250
My point is, she's in.
233
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,552
Thank you.
Thank you.
234
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,687
Um...
235
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,388
Melvin, I don't know
what to say.
236
00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:42,555
Matter of fact, here,
237
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,556
take my number.
238
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:46,193
(quietly):
It's 323-712...
239
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,428
(finishes indistinctly)
240
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,278
I forgot the area code.
(chuckles)
241
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,632
(speaks indistinctly)
242
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,301
And if I'm in Europe, don't-
Okay!
243
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,606
All right, well, thank you
so much for the coffee.
244
00:08:58,607 --> 00:08:59,939
Oh, you're welcome.
Wait a minute.
245
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,541
Hold on, hold on.
Mm-hmm.
246
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,711
I thought
you asked me to coffee. I did.
247
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,647
Oh, see, but, man, you know,
I only got bitcoin,
248
00:09:06,648 --> 00:09:08,080
and I don't think they take-
249
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,649
Hey, y'all take bitcoin here?
No.
250
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,983
Yeah, see? That's the problem.
They don't take bitcoin.
251
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,074
You know what?
Yeah?
252
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,287
This is a big red flag, okay?
253
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,587
I wrote a book about this.
254
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:16,956
It says, "Don't trust a brother
255
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,457
who won't pay for
the first coffee."
256
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,628
And for this reason,
257
00:09:20,629 --> 00:09:21,728
I'm out.
258
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:22,830
Okay!
259
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,298
Then bye, Shark Tank!
(chuckles)
260
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,636
MELVIN:
...equals
261
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,819
money,
262
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,239
money, money.
263
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,841
Voil�.
264
00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:36,208
This stuff looks like something
from A Beautiful Mind.
265
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,477
(chuckles)
266
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,179
I don't understand any of it.
267
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,682
Neither do I. (laughs)
268
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,651
But, see, we
don't have to.
269
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,953
See, there's
a bunch of MIT grads
270
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,639
that specialize in this, right?
271
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,156
And these guys,
they legit.
272
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,158
They down with
the PayPal Mafia.
273
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,068
They build companies
like YouTube
274
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,362
and-and eBay, Instagram.
275
00:09:55,363 --> 00:09:57,764
You know? And you know what
all those guys got in common?
276
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,700
Hot wives and bad haircuts?
277
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,583
Besides that.
278
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:05,105
Each one of them
sold their companies
279
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,440
for billions of dollars.
280
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,676
You know why?
281
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,511
'Cause scared money
don't make money.
282
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,880
You're right, but...
283
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:16,116
I only have, like, $10,237.15.
284
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,085
(chuckles)
I don't need all that.
285
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,853
Just the $10,000.
286
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,190
(sultry voice):
Sexy, sexy, sexy.
287
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,859
Scared money
don't make no money.
288
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,895
(chuckling):
You know what I mean?
289
00:10:27,896 --> 00:10:30,697
Why are you talking like the
beginning of an R&B music video?
290
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,466
(shushing)
291
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,035
Baby, baby,
292
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,070
don't talk.
293
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,680
Just listen.
(clicks tongue)
294
00:10:38,706 --> 00:10:40,007
Honeycakes,
295
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,175
this is seed money
we're talking about.
296
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,778
Yeah, and you're gonna "seed" it
go out the window.
297
00:10:44,779 --> 00:10:47,714
Junior, this is exactly what
your father warned you about.
298
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,216
Melvin is playing you.
299
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,584
Wh-Why are you and Pop
so cynical?
300
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:54,054
If you can't trust family,
who can you trust?
301
00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:56,823
And just so you know, I'm not
using the kids' money, okay?
302
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,874
I'm putting my anime collection
on eBay
303
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,462
so I can give him
the seed money.
304
00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:02,829
Junior, you have been building
that anime collection
305
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,064
your whole life.
306
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,398
You can't just sell it.
307
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,367
I wish you'd just
listen to your dad.
308
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,070
No, no, that man's
a dream killer, baby.
309
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,340
Which is why...
310
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:17,644
I've already said goodbye
to Borg and Ceiza.
311
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,983
All right.
312
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,085
I'll be right back for you.
313
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,420
Oh.
314
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,299
Mm.
315
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,870
This sandwich is dry.
316
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,472
I know, because it's mine.
Oh.
317
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,875
So what's up?
318
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,641
I got your text.
What you want to talk about?
319
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:50,911
Well, Ivy
told me
320
00:11:50,912 --> 00:11:52,979
that you tried to hustle her
over coffee.
321
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,030
And then I had a conversation
with Nina,
322
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,317
and she said
she's pissed off at you, too.
323
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,719
Mm. About what? An opportunity?
324
00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:02,122
Melvin, this is her husband-
325
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,324
my son-
that we're talking about.
326
00:12:04,325 --> 00:12:06,192
You know good and well
we don't do this.
327
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,460
We don't hustle family.
328
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,830
Sir would turn over
in his grave if he knew
329
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,299
you were trying
to con his grandson. Oh, wow.
330
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,267
This is what this about- Sir.
331
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,635
I knew it was something.
332
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,906
The problem is, you and Sir...
333
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,808
ain't nothing but two haters.
334
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,943
You always was,
you always will be.
335
00:12:22,944 --> 00:12:24,476
Y'all never wanted
to see me win.
336
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,527
No. We never wanted
to see you cheat to win.
337
00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,315
How do you win
if you don't cheat?
338
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,483
Melvin,
339
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,485
you have
incredible gifts,
340
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,322
but you use them in
incredibly stupid ways.
341
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,025
Now I'm not gonna tell you
how to live your life,
342
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:41,161
but you owe it to Junior
to tell him the truth.
343
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,696
That boy looks up to you.
344
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,100
So once in your life,
just be honorable.
345
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,601
(grumbles)
346
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,203
I don't know.
347
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,640
It's gonna make it
a whole lot harder to sell.
348
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,578
It's missing $100.
349
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,948
What are you talk...?
350
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,116
Ah! (laughs)
351
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:06,086
(both laugh)
352
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,487
I'm sneaky.
353
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,289
Yeah, you are. You are.
354
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,690
Good job, boy.
355
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,059
All right.
356
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,360
I drew up some designs
357
00:13:13,361 --> 00:13:15,161
for our user interface
on our app.
358
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,663
Check it out.
359
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,465
Oh.
360
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,035
Get the birth.
361
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,395
You did all this, nephew?
362
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:26,206
Yeah, well,
we're partners, right?
363
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,042
I'm in this with you.
Sweat equity.
364
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,378
Yeah.
365
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,746
Uh...
366
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,883
Partner...
367
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,985
since we are partners
now, I want to...
368
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,552
I want to level with you.
369
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,022
All right.
Uh...
370
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,257
there is no app.
371
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,526
I-I'm sorry. Come again?
372
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,561
There is no app.
373
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,463
There never was.
374
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:53,066
See, I talked to your father,
and he wanted me
375
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,036
to have a real talk with you
about what the business is,
376
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,704
and I told him I would.
377
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,408
What we doing is, we creating
this thing called a "SPAC."
378
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,709
Oh.
379
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:06,213
A "Special Purpose
Acquisitions Company."
380
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,814
It's aka
381
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,249
"the blank check."
382
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,650
Blank check?
Yes.
383
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,652
Okay. Okay.
Right?
384
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,955
That's smart.
I'm loving it. (laughs)
385
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:17,198
Still don't understand it,
though. What?
386
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,292
Okay, so, what
it is, is... Mm-hmm.
387
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:22,195
...m-money comes in
from the investors, right?
388
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,563
Yes.
389
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,399
The app don't pay off
because it doesn't exist.
390
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,969
We file bankruptcy.
391
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:31,304
We keep the assets.
392
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,240
Re...
393
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,408
Is this a hustle, or...
394
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,776
Um...
395
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,146
I mean, it... it ain't
all the way right.
396
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,982
So you do three to
five years, and-
397
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,716
while your
money compounds.
398
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,285
So what?
399
00:14:45,286 --> 00:14:46,885
Three to five years
of prison time?
400
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,222
(scoffs)
It... It's like a country club.
401
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,790
It's lush.
402
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:55,028
That's where they sent
Martha Stewart on her vacation.
403
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,497
Why are you winking?
404
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,102
I'm winking because
I love you, nephew.
405
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,505
And I really want to be
in business with you.
406
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,209
But you're gonna
have to decide
407
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,179
if you really want to
be in business or not.
408
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,015
Yeah.
409
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,688
(sighs)
410
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,290
Hey, Pop.
411
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,726
Hey, Mr. Scared Money
Don't Make No Money.
412
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,045
You don't have
to worry about that.
413
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,798
I...
I didn't give him the money.
414
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,266
Really? Why not?
415
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,967
Well, I had all the money
out in front of him,
416
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,535
and then he told me
it was a scam.
417
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,936
Uh, he was still trying
to take the money, too.
418
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,439
I was like, "No."
419
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,140
Well, I'm glad
he gave you a choice.
420
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,774
I'm glad
you made the right decision. Yeah.
421
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,444
If it sounds too
good to be true,
422
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,813
it's coming out
of Uncle Melvin's mouth.
423
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,850
I was just so blinded
by admiration, I...
424
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,584
couldn't see his flaws,
you know?
425
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,621
You tried to warn me.
Mm-hmm.
426
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,624
Well, are you okay?
427
00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,859
Yeah, you know, I'm just...
428
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,029
Feel sorry for the guy,
you know?
429
00:16:02,030 --> 00:16:04,530
He was telling me that
Grandpa favored you over him.
430
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,699
Ha! That is not true.
431
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,236
Sir didn't like
either one of us.
432
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,903
I'm sorry. I got to ask.
433
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,539
What was Grandpa's real name?
434
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,689
Sir.
435
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,042
His real name?
Yeah.
436
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,409
But if he liked you,
437
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,078
you could call him "Mister Sir."
438
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,015
Anyway, the difference
between me and Melvin is,
439
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,650
I listened to my father.
440
00:16:23,651 --> 00:16:26,152
Melvin- he tried to hustle
his way through life.
441
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,455
(sniffs)
I smell a story.
442
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:32,459
When I was 12 years old,
I got my first job.
443
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,227
Yup, there it is.
444
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,728
My father said,
"You got to split the money
445
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,265
with your mother."
446
00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:39,898
And so, on the first day
I got paid,
447
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,333
I'm walking down the street,
448
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,001
and I see these guys playing
three-card monte.
449
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,370
They're flipping
the card. Mm-hmm.
450
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,337
They was like,
"Find the red card,
451
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,573
"not the black.
452
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:47,874
"The black is the wack,
453
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,909
you don't get your money back."
454
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,878
I put down $20,
455
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,246
and I pointed to a card.
456
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,615
He flipped it over,
and it was black.
457
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,517
My world stood still.
458
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,286
Geez Louise. So what happened?
459
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,121
He took off running
with my money.
460
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,356
Did you tell Mister Sir?
Yes.
461
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,092
Did he hit you?
Yes.
462
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,759
With wisdom.
Oh.
463
00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:09,128
That was the name
of his belt. Oh.
464
00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:12,598
And then he said,
465
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,269
"Son, gambling is
a sucker's game.
466
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,204
Now go give your
mother her half."
467
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:21,941
And I only had one dollar
to last me for two weeks.
468
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,042
I never gambled again
after that.
469
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,479
Hmm.
Now, Uncle Melvin heard this same story,
470
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,780
and the next day,
471
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,782
he became
a three-card monte guy.
472
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,184
Hmm.
473
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:34,114
I can't believe this lesson
cost me my anime collection.
474
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,456
Hey, well,
the good news is,
475
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,996
you learned a lesson, right?
476
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,260
Yeah, sure did.
477
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,061
Never again.
478
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,963
Good, 'cause that's for you.
479
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,298
What?
480
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,566
Go ahead, open it.
481
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,835
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
482
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:54,907
Aw! (laughing)
483
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,343
Borg and Ceiza?!
484
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,844
You bought them?
Yes.
485
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:01,648
Some sucker was selling them
on eBay under value.
486
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,015
(laughs)
487
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,752
Thanks, Pop.
I love you, man.
488
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,254
I love you, too.
489
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,589
(chuckling)
490
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,858
(giggling)
491
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,966
What up, D?
(door closes)
492
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,301
I just wanted to come by
493
00:18:21,302 --> 00:18:22,901
and say goodbye
to you and the family, man.
494
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,804
It was good seeing y'all.
495
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,539
I'm headed down to Brazil.
Mm.
496
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,340
Got me a new business
opportunity there.
497
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,178
I'm gonna turn some centavos
into bitcoin.
498
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:36,216
Listen, I want to thank you
for doing right by Junior.
499
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,785
Hey, man, he's family.
That's right.
500
00:18:38,786 --> 00:18:40,952
Sometimes I can get
a little blinded by my greed.
501
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,189
No.
502
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,224
But you set me
on the right path,
503
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,725
and I thank you for that.
504
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,562
Since we being honest...
505
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,134
You're right.
I did take your watch.
506
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,706
I knew it. I knew it.
How much did you get for it?
507
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,008
Man, I didn't sell it.
I kept it.
508
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,410
Why?
509
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,845
'Cause it was yours.
510
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:10,350
And I just figured maybe that
some of that great in you would
511
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,752
rub off on me.
512
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,822
Hmm.
Instead, the only thing
513
00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:17,656
that rubbed off me
was some green stuff.
514
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:21,093
Yeah. Got me, too.
515
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,565
Hmm.
516
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,900
Wow. (clicks tongue)
517
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,771
You know what?
518
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,407
Hold onto it.
There's still time.
519
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,056
So this is what
that feels like? Yeah.
520
00:19:50,057 --> 00:19:51,590
Don't you feel fuzzy inside?
No.
521
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,460
Or is that the sweater?
No.
522
00:19:53,461 --> 00:19:57,429
All right, man, well,
I'm gonna get going. (sniffles)
523
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,931
Uh...
Great seeing you, man.
524
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:00,866
Great seeing you.
Great seeing you, too.
525
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,101
And, um,
526
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,603
hey, if you want in
527
00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:05,504
on the bitcoin opportunity,
you know,
528
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,774
I still need some s...
529
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,944
I'm just playing with you.
530
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,447
Hey! I know what time it is.
531
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,616
(laughs)
532
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,134
Nah, but seriously,
if you want in
533
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,753
on this, man,
534
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,122
my plane don't leave
till 9:00 o'clock.
535
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,591
Ciao.
536
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,064
Look, I know!
537
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:34,000
(laughter)
538
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,869
Marker.
539
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,205
(mutters in squeaky voice)
540
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:44,911
What? (laughs)
541
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,313
Marker.
542
00:20:46,314 --> 00:20:47,513
PRODUCER: Do you want
the other ones, or no?
543
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,514
No.
Oh, the other ones
544
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:49,615
aren't prescription?
No.
545
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,950
Oh, I didn't know that.
546
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,652
I want everyone nauseous.
547
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:57,023
(laughter)
548
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,826
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
549
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,629
and TOYOTA.
550
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:06,165
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
551
00:21:06,215 --> 00:21:10,765
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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