Original subtitles

["The Ballad Of Gilligan's Island"]

* Just sit right back And you'll hear a tale *

* A tale of a fateful trip *

* That started from this tropic port *

* Aboard this tiny ship *

* The mate was a mighty sailin' man *

* The Skipper brave and sure *

* Five passengers set sail that day *

* For a three hour tour *

* A three hour tour *

[thunder rumbling]

* The weather started getting rough *

* The tiny ship was tossed *

* If not for the courage of the fearless crew *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The ship set ground on the shore of this *

* Uncharted desert isle *

* With Gilligan *

* The Skipper too *

* The millionaire *

* And his wife *

* The movie star *

* And the rest *

* Are here on Gilligan's Isle *

[instrumental music]

[gurgling]

Hiya, Professor.

Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You're awful nervous.

I'm not nervous, Gilligan. I didn't realize you were here.

- And you startled me. - Oh.

- Hiya, Professor. - Gilligan!

See, you're nervous! You jumped even when you knew I was here.

I took Chemistry in high school once.

I'll never forget it. I mixed ammonia with some acid.

- You know what I got? - No. What?

Expelled. They thought the school was gonna burn down.

I wonder. You know, many kinds of acids are highly combustible.

Not only that. They can start a fire.

Must be an important experiment you're working on.

It is Gilligan.

You've seen the dye markers the Navy uses as distress signals.

- The yellow stuff that floats. - That's right.

Well, I've managed to scrape together some potassium chromate

and I believe I've succeeded in duplicating the Navy formula.

- No foolin'. We can be rescued? - Exactly.

And I'm even adding a phosphorescent compound

to the dye to enable it to glow in the dark.

- Shiny junk. - That's it.

When I add that "shiny junk," as you call it

to this yellow dye marker, it'll glow like a torch.

Planes flying nearby will see it day or night.

They'll follow it here and we'll be rescued.

I'll go tell the others. Oh, boy!

Oh, no. What's the name of that stuff?

Well, it's a mixture of

potassium chromate, ferric chloride and calcium phosphate.

- Potassium...potassium ferric.. - Shiny junk.

Shiny junk. Yeah.

Hey, we're gonna be rescued!

- Skipper! Hey, Skipper! - What's all the excitement?

- I have some news! - What is it?

The professor is experimenting with chemicals

he found right here and what happened to you?

I had a small accident.

I bent over to pick some bananas and my pants split.

So Mary Ann is sewing it up. What's the good news?

The professor is working on a dye marker

that's just like the Navy. It lights up at night.

- And you're getting too fat. - I'm not!

You can really see it at night?

You can see that part day or night.

Cut that out, Gilligan.

With a thing like this, we could possibly be rescued. Oh, boy!

What are you gonna do once rescued

besides standing at the unemployment office.

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it.

With the boat wrecked, I guess I'm out of business.

Guess, I'll join back the Navy.

Okay. You go in the Navy, I'll go too.

I had no idea that you felt that way.

Well, Skipper, you're my buddy and my pal and shipmate.

You mean, you'd stick with me?

It's better than starvin' to death.

(Mary Ann) 'Skipper, I finished your pant.'

Oh, here's Mary Ann. Ha ha. Mary Ann.

Ha ha ha.

I left them out two inches, just like you asked me to, Skipper.

- Thank you, Mary Ann. - Hey, Mary Ann.

Did you hear we're gonna be rescued?

Rescued? Oh, are you sure, Gilligan?

Are you 100% completely, absolutely, positively certain?

I'm not even that certain my name is Gilligan.

But the professor says we'll be rescued.

Oh, that's wonderful! I'll go tell the others.

Yeah.

- There we are. Good as new. - I dunno, Skipper.

Maybe she should've left out four inches instead of two.

She only let 'em out.. Well, alright, two inches.

But what do you mean four inches? They're perfect!

Okay, Skipper. See you later.

For goodness sakes.

Four inches instead of two. You've got a lot of nerve!

[rips]

Red cab. Red cab.

They're never around when you want them.

Lovey, you keep forgetting we're on a deserted island.

There aren't any red cabs. There's only Gilligan.

Oh, yes, of course, Gilligan. White cab. White cab.

Gilligan, would you mind helping us with these bags?

- Certainly, Mr. Howell. - Be careful of the large one.

There's something frightfully expensive in it.

- Money. - I'll be very careful.

Watch it, that's my luggage. Watch it, boy.

- Here, here. There you go. - Oh, poor Gilligan.

No. He's a hardy fellow.

- Whoop! I...Mr. Howell? - Yes, what is it?

- Can I ask you something? - Certainly.

- You folks going on a trip? - A trip? Don't be silly.

We're being rescued.

Really, Gilligan, you told us that the professor was

working on a scheme to get us off the island.

Surely we haven't been ship wrecked before we even start.

The professor is still experimenting.

- He has to find more chemicals. - Chemicals?

'Yeah. He mixes the shiny junk with some other stuff.'

Once it's all squishy, he adds some more goop.

Then he heats it and pours one mess into another

and then he.. Am I being too technical for you?

Professor?

- Professor? - Huh?

Don't let me interrupt. I just wanted to use your scale.

Help yourself, Skipper.

I just think it's near genius

the way you figured to make this dye marker.

No, just lucky to find the chemicals.

Afraid you're getting a little overweight?

No. But you know, a fellow likes to keep in shape.

'By the way, that scale only goes to 200 pounds.'

Thanks.

Skipper, I cleaned up the other scale. A big one by the fire.

Gilligan, we use that to weigh the fish.

If you don't mind, I'll use the professor's scale.

Now, it's in here somewhere.

This Navy manual will tell me how much I should weigh.

Maybe it's under tonnage.

Eh...here we are.

There. Six foot three.

Says I should weigh 199 pounds.

- But that scale only goes up-- - I know, only 200 pounds.

Therefore I have nothing to worry about.

Gilligan.

[sighs]

Ah, ah!

- Ah, ah! - Tail.

Okay, Skipper, it's all set. Have a seat.

Do you think that will hold me, Gilligan?

Come on. We've weighed bigger fish than you.

O-op.

Alright. Step aside.

[creaking]

- Wow! - What does it say?

You're in between a largemouth bass and a hammerhead shark.

Never mind that, Gilligan. How much do I weigh?

'Two hundred and twenty one pounds.'

Skipper, you'll never get in the Navy.

You gotta lose 22 pounds!

- Skipper's gotta go on a diet. - Yeah!

(Professor) 'Oh, there you are, Skipper.'

Listen. When I finish making the chemicals

I'll need a special raft to release the marker out at sea.

- You design it. I'll build it. - He needs exercise.

- My little buddy said that. - I'll be finished in a week.

Hear that? In a week, we'll be rescued.

I'm thinking, Gilligan, I've got to lose more than 22 pounds

in less than a week if we wanna join the Navy.

You'll have to go on a crash diet.

Exactly. This is what you must do to help me.

Anytime, no matter what I do or say

don't let me have anything to eat. You understand? Nothing!

Depend on me, Skipper.

[bell ringing]

Time for dinner. Come on, let's go.

(Gilligan) That's Ginger's. Pass it down.

- Pardon me, Ginger. - Thanks.

That's Mary Ann's. Pass it down.

Here's yours, Skipper.

Oh, now, wait a minute. Didn't you forget something?

There's only a measly piece of lettuce on the plate.

Oh, yeah. Your spoon.

Gilligan, this isn't enough food for a grown man.

It's enough food for an overgrown man.

Alright. If you will all excuse me

I'll go read, to take my mind off the food.

- Hey, Skipper? - Yes.

Don't go too far. It's your turn to wash the dishes.

Well...there's one dish I won't have to wash.

- Goodnight. Sleep tight. - Sleep tight?

It's alright for you to say that 'cause you're not starving.

Just forget about it and go to sleep.

I've tried to go to sleep. I've tried counting sheep.

But they all turn into lamb chops. Boy, I'm hungry.

We gotta get your mind off food. Let's talk about being rescued.

Good idea.

Luckily, we've got the professor. He's a smart cookie.

- Cookie? - I mean, he knows his onions.

If you don't shut up, I'm gonna bend you like a pretzel!

Now, see what you've done. You've got me doin' it to me!

I'm sorry. Every time I try to help, I end up a dead duck.

[Gilligan snoring]

[snoring continues]

Ah, ah, uh-huh, ah!

Gilligan?

Gilligan?

Are you asleep?

And now for a nice midnight snack.

Ah, ah, uh-huh, ah!

- We work good together, huh? - Yeah.

Once rescued, we'll do the same thing in the Navy.

Not exactly, Gilligan.

See, we won't be working on rafts in the Navy.

They've got rafts where you push a button

and the whole thing blows up like a big balloon.

Speakin' of big balloons, it's time for your exercise.

Gilligan, you sure have a way of making a fellow feel good.

You said that you wanted to run ten laps a day.

Right. If I run those ten laps, I'll lose some of mine.

- Some of your what? - My lap!

Ten laps if I lose..

Oh, never mind, Gilligan. Well, here I go.

Phew!

- Oh, hi, Skipper. - Hello, Ginger.

Wow. Ten laps!

Oh, you're just in time for your exercise.

Exercise? I just ran ten laps around the island.

Oh, well, this is different.

These are the exercises the movie stars do in Hollywood.

You know, to reduce the waist and hips and so forth.

That's where I need it. Around the waist, hips and my so forth.

Okay. Come on. Here we go.

Now, hands on hips.

Feet apart.

- Chest out. - Uh!

- Head way back. - Uh!

Way back.

This is very good for your figure, Skipper.

Oh, believe me, Ginger. Mine will never look like yours.

Now, we're gonna do the trunk exercise.

This is guaranteed to slim down your waist.

Here we go. Now.

Come on, Skipper, do it. It's very easy.

- It's just like doing the hula. - Ginger, I-I can't do that.

Come on. You want to get back in the Navy, right?

Yes, but I wasn't thinkin' about joining the waves.

That's right. Now you're swingin'.

Go.

(Ginger) 'Come on.'

Oh, isn't that lovely?

You know, they say, if you watch the movements

you can tell the whole story.

I don't get what he's saying

but with her, I do get the message.

(Mary Ann) 'Lunch is ready.'

Uh, sorry, Skipper. But you're not on the guest list.

Oh, but, Mr. Howell, I'm starving!

Oh, Skipper, I found these reducing pills.

You take one every time you're hungry.

- Good. Come, Lovey darling. - Thanks a lot.

Skipper, hold still. I can't read the scale.

I hope you two are working on that raft

because the phosphorescent dye is almost finished.

We'll be ready when you are, Professor.

Good. Once the plane spots that marker, we'll to be rescued.

- Hot dog! - Gilligan?

Sorry.

- Well, how much do I weigh? - Let's see here.

You got to lose two more pounds to get into the Navy.

- Let me see that book! - Here you go.

Well, you satisfied?

Yeah.

- What's the matter? - The-the scale.

- What's the matter with it? - Even if I can get in.

You can't. You're five pounds underweight.

Underweight?

Now, open up, Gilligan.

There. Just two more spoonful's and it'll all be gone.

- Keep eating, Gilligan. - Mrs. Howell.

You know, you have to eat if you want to join the Skipper

and be in the Navy when we're rescued.

But, Mrs. Howell..

You have to gain five more pounds in two days.

Or is it two pounds in five days..

Well, any case, keep eating.

This is the third meal I've had today. It's not even lunch yet.

Oh, my, my. What a charming picture.

Reminds me of when my nanny fed me. It was so embarrassing.

Why was it embarrassing, darling?

It was my senior year at Harvard.

Well, how's operation gluttony coming?

I see the boy's gained three quarters of a pound.

Isn't that wonderful?

I sure hope so, 'cause I can't eat another bite!

Gilligan, if you want your appetite back

why don't you come and help me built the raft.

Oh, no, Skipper. He mustn't have any exercise at all.

- That's out of the question. - But, Mrs. Howell--

No, Gilligan. If you work, you're liable to perspire.

And if you perspire, you're liable to lose weight.

Isn't that true, Thurston?

Well, I don't know. I've never perspired.

- Ooh, that smells good! - Mmm.

- Here. I'll take it to him. - Oh, no. No, you don't.

- It's my turn. - Oh, I know. But..

- Why don't we both feed him? - Okay. Good idea.

We'll turn the little string bean into a jolly green giant.

[tapping]

Oh, Gilligan, I don't think I can hold out much longer.

All I can think of is sirloin steak.

French fried potatoes, mushroom sauce..

Skipper, please, not when I'm eating.

We brought you some soft-shell crab and some fresh pineapple.

Crab and pineapple.

Uh-huh, Skipper. I saw you put something in your mouth.

Gilligan, for your information, these are nails.

- Spoonful of crab. - Spoonful of pineapple.

Must you feed him in front of me?

Oh, no, Skipper. We can go some place else.

No, that's alright. At least I can smell the food.

I mean, even though my stomach is unhappy

my-my nose is happy.

(Mary Ann) Spoonful of pineapple.

- How're you doing, Gilligan? - Well, I..

- Spoonful. - Spoonful of pineapple.

Keep up the good work, girls. How's the raft coming, Skipper?

Oh, fine. Just fine, Professor.

Oh, good. I'm almost finished with the dye.

Perhaps we can launch the marker tonight.

- At night? - Why, sure.

With a phosphorous compound that makes it glow

it's even more effective in the dark.

Okay, the raft will be ready in an hour.

That is unless I take a bite out of it.

Spoonful of pineapple.

I could use a little help mixing the chemicals.

Could you spare me one of these girls?

- Well, I've been.. - Spoonful of pineapple.

- How about it, Ginger? - Well, okay, Professor.

Mary Ann, keep shoveling.

Okay.

Spoonful of crab. Spoonful of pineapple.

Spoonful..

Oh, I just remembered. I have a surprise for you.

Skipper, will you finish feeding Gilligan for me, please?

Finish feeding Gilligan? Well, no, Mary Ann.

I'm on this diet and I can't..

Why, certainly. I'd be glad to help you feed Gilligan.

You just run right along.

Now, Gilligan, open your mouth real wide.

Oh, no. You're not supposed to eat that.

I'm the one that's supposed to eat.

Oh, Gilligan, I've got to have something to eat.

- I've got to have something-- - Remember the Navy.

I'll remember the Navy, but..

- Just a bite. - Uh-huh.

- Just a taste then. - Uh-huh.

Could I lick the bowl?

No.

Darn me!

How's the booyah base coming, darling?

Darling, I've surpassed even myself. Don't you agree?

It's so yummy.

- What say, hearty heart. - Mmm.

An epicurean delight.

A culinary masterpiece.

Darling, I thought you'd make a fuss over it.

Oh, darling.

Thurston dear, why have you never made booyah base at home?

Back home, our house is so big, I can't find the kitchen.

Once I find the kitchen, I can't find the stove.

- Oh, Thurston, ah-ah. - Yes, alright, dear.

Skipper, I can't eat another bite.

Yeah, you have my deepest sympathy.

Once I get up to weight, I'm going on a diet.

Are you outta your mind? I haven't eaten in three days!

Don't worry, Skipper. It still tastes the same.

Oh, Gilligan, my boy, I prepared a dish

to titillate even your unsophisticated palate.

Behold the specialty de la maison.

What is it? Smells like fish stew.

Fish stew? World famous French recipe, booyah base.

What does booyah base mean in English?

Erm...fish stew.

Eat it, my boy.

- Ah-uh-ah! - Oh, no, no, capitaine.

Eat, Gilligan, my boy. Oh, the nutritious goodness.

You must wait.

Here you are, Professor. I washed it real good.

Good.

You know, one thing I like about science.

It's so...scientific.

Oh, yes.

You know, I took Chemistry when I was in high school.

I'll never forget one day when I was in class

I mixed ammonia with some kind of acid

'and you know what I got?'

- Expelled. - No.

I got a date with the most handsome, young fireman.

Well, I think it's finished.

Just let it cool and we'll be all set.

Gilligan, here's the surprise I promised you.

- Coconut cream pie. - No, Mary Ann.

You take it to somebody else. I can't eat another bite.

Oh, Gilligan, I baked it for you.

Now eat it!

Hey, Gilligan.

Raft's almost finished. Come over and take a look at it.

(Skipper) 'Hey, Gilligan!'

Well, you clumsy, bumbling--

I'm sorry, Skipper. I tripped on the tool box and..

Here. Let me take it off.

It's alright, little buddy.

After all, accidents will happen.

There it is. Phosphorescent dye that's gonna get us off here.

Isn't it exciting, Professor?

- Let's put it on the raft. - Please, allow me.

I don't think I could duplicate this formula again.

I won't drop it. Who do you think I am, Gilligan?

Oh, no. No! We haven't been on the island that long.

Thurston. Thurston. Oh, Thurston.

I just heard the most marvelous news.

We'll launch the raft tonight, as soon as it gets dark

and then we'll be rescued. Rescued!

Lovey, Lovey, curb your exuberance.

Remember, after all, you are a Howell.

Oh, darling, couldn't we forget we're Howells just for once?

You mean, give it a real rouser?

- Oh, do you think we'd dare? - Oh, we can live dangerously.

One, two, three.

(both) Hurrah!

- Ready, Skipper? - 'All ready, Professor.'

'Just about to take it to the lagoon.'

- Can I help, Skipper? - I'll help him. You just eat.

Alright. Heave-ho, Professor.

Well, you've done a fine job, Skipper.

Now we'll put the phosphorescent dye in the receptacles.

- I'll get it. - Oh, allow me, Professor.

Alright. It's back there on the table by Gilligan.

Oh, uh, Gilligan!

There's a bowl on the table.

It's got the professor's formula in it. Bring it here!

(Ginger) Isn't it exciting, Skipper?

Oh..

Oh!

(Gilligan) 'This bowl?'

It's empty.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Skipper!

Gilligan, I've heard of some stupid things

having been done in my lifetime

but this takes the cake!

If you hadn't eaten the professor's formula

we'd have been rescued by now.

- 'I'm sorry, Skipper--' - Oh, never mind.

Maybe a plane or a ship will spot us.

'I hope so. I'm-I'm doin' everything I can.'

Never mind, Gilligan.

Now, just shut up and keep turning!

[growling]

[continues growling]

* Now this is the tale of our castaways *

* They're here for a long long time *

* They'll have to make the best of things *

* It's an uphill climb *

* The first mate and his Skipper too *

* Will do their very best *

* To make the others comfortable *

* In their tropic island nest *

* No phone, no lights, no motor car *

* Not a single luxury *

* Like Robinson Crusoe *

* It's primitive as can be *

* So join us here each week my friends *

* You're sure to get a smile *

* From seven stranded castaways *

* Here on Gilligan's Isle **