Original subtitles

["The Ballad Of Gilligan's Island"]

* Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale *

* A tale of a fateful trip *

* That started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship *

* The mate was a mighty sailing man *

* The skipper brave and sure *

* Five passengers set sail that day *

* For a three hour tour *

* A three hour tour *

[thunder rumbling]

* The weather started getting rough *

* The tiny ship was tossed *

* If not for the courage of the fearless crew *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The ship set ground on the shore *

* Of this uncharted desert isle *

* With Gilligan *

* The Skipper too *

* The millionaire *

* And his wife *

* The movie star *

* And the rest are here on Gilligan's Isle *

Skipper, I just can't stop thinking about it. I just can't.

Boy, the way you played that fish, two hours.

- You must be tired. - I am.

That's why I'd like to get some sleep, Gilligan.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, Skipper.

We'll talk about it later, okay?

- Okay. Goodnight. - Goodnight.

When?

- When what? - When will we talk about it?

Oh, Gilligan. We'll talk about it in the morning, okay?

- Okay. - Goodnight!

Goodnight.

That sure was a beautiful fish. Must have weighed 100 pounds.

It leaped outta the water and dove into the bottom.

The way you reeled him in and played him out

reeled him in and played him out. It's too bad you lost him.

Gilligan, not another word about that fish.

'Not another word about anything. Now go to sleep.'

Goodnight.

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper!

Who's skip..

Gilligan, you woke me up again.

(Gilligan) 'There's a gorilla in the window.'

He was there, Skipper. Honest, I saw him.

He's not there now. You must have dreamt it.

How can I dream when I wasn't even sleeping.

Gilligan, please, just go to sleep

and dream that it isn't there.

Okay.

Sure am glad you're a dream.

Darling, you need a shave.

[grunts]

You say you never snore.

Well, it's not on the floor.

Are you sure you didn't wear it to bed?

No, dear. I know I left it on that nightstand.

[exclaims] It is insured, isn't it?

That won't do us any good financially.

- Why not? - We own the insurance company.

Oh, yes, of course.

But I'll be heartbroken anyway if we didn't find it.

You gave it to me as a wedding present.

Yes, it has been in the family for generations.

It's a piece of jewelry Queen Isabella gave to Columbus.

You never told me that. How did it get in the Howell family?

I'm not sure. They must have foreclosed the mortgage on Nina

the Pinta and the Santa Maria. You did have it at dinner time.

Don't you know you had to change your seat

because it kept reflecting the evening sun.

Yes, 48 carats does throw a glare.

Besides, it kept melting the butter.

You sure you didn't wear it after that?

No. I know I left it on that nightstand.

Well, don't panic, darling. We'll find it somewhere.

- Skipper, you want syrup? - 'Sure.'

This tree needs a refill.

- Boy, I sure am hungry. - Yeah.

Well, if I ate like that I'd see gorillas at night too.

Oh, be my guest. But I did see a gorilla.

- I tell you, you didn't. - I did.

- You didn't. - I did.

- You didn't. - I did.

Alright. You did.

Would you please go back to didn't?

It's the gorilla!

- Morning, Skipper. - Good morning, Skipper.

Oh, good morning.

- Blueberries for breakfast. - I picked blackberries too.

You're just in time, girls.

I was about to give Gilligan the raspberries.

I think I'll go get some coconut milk for the pancakes.

What's the matter with Gilligan, Skipper?

[sighs]

bam

Ow!

[growls]

Please be a dream. Please.

It isn't. Skipper!

Skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

'Skipper! Skipper!'

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper!

(Gilligan) 'Skipper!'

Gilligan, he can't even pick coconuts by himself.

[groaning]

- Buddy, where are you? - 'Skipper. Skipper!'

Gilligan.

(Gilligan) Better watch out, 'cause I'm the Skipper's buddy

and he'll take you apart.

Skipper!

Watch out, Skipper. He's mean and vicious.

- Who is mean and vicious? - The gorilla.

What gorilla?

The gorilla got me pinned by the neck against the tree.

Gilligan, a palm leaf has you by the neck.

He was here. He's big and black and fierce.

[growls]

Stop that.

First, you see gorillas in your sleep, now in the daytime.

What you need is a psychiatrist.

I bet if I see one, he has long, hairy arms.

- Wai-Wait for me. - Gilligan!

Can't even pick coconuts.

We've searched the hut three times, and it's still missing.

We'll be glad to help you look for it.

That is not the point.

Mrs. Howell's diamond brooch has been missing.

How could that disappear?

The brooch is not where Mrs. Howell put it.

It is not in our hut. Now, do I make myself clear?

Are you suggesting one of us took it?

I'm not suggesting anything like that.

However, that might not be such a bad suggestion.

Mr. Howell, we don't have to listen to such an accusation.

And that goes for me too.

I'm surprised at you, Mr. Howell.

None proclaim their innocence so loudly as the guilty.

I don't know if that fits, but it's from a movie I was in.

I'm sure I didn't take it, I'm even sure the others didn't.

Well, the fact is, Gilligan, the brooch is still missing.

Maybe Mrs. Howell lost it.

No, no. She's absolutely sure she put it on the nightstand.

She's 100% positive, she's 100% absolutely certain.

However, maybe she made a mistake.

Then, in that case, I better apologize.

- Should I go tell 'em? - I'll do better than that.

I'll make an offer of a reward to anyone who finds it.

- A reward? - That's right.

- Ten thousand dollars. - Ten thousand dollars! Oh!

Maybe I should have made it five. Oh, it's deductible.

I'll never talk to him as long as I live.

He said he was sorry.

Just because he's rich doesn't mean he can push people around.

- He apologized. - So what? He apologized.

Not only that, he offered a reward

if anyone finds the diamond. Ten thousand dollars.

Ten thousand dollar reward?

Well, of course, little buddy, what kind of a man will I be

if I didn't accept his apology?

[foot crushing]

Ow!

- Apologized? Here's turtle egg. - It makes my blood boil.

- Him accusing us is beyond me. - He said he was sorry.

- It's too late to be sorry. - This is one of those times.

Nothing he could say could make me forgive him.

If you wanna associate with him, Gilligan, it's your business

but leave us out of it.

I won't tell you about the reward. Ten thousand dollars.

(all) Ten thousand dollars?

[exclaims] There it is.

Oh! Why does coral have to gleam like that?

They went to the spring before they went to bed

they would have to come this way.

I hope we find it. 'Cause if we do, when rescued

we can get a new car, 60-foot yacht and build a new marina.

Gilligan, $10,000 wouldn't be a down payment for those things.

- Oh? Let's not look for it. - Oh, come here.

Ten thousand dollars will help us pay for a new boat for us.

- Yeah. - Start looking.

I'll tell you one thing, Skipper.

I don't care how much the reward was I wouldn't be out here alone

with that gorilla... on the loose.

Skipper! Skipper! Ski..

What's the matter, Gilligan? Did another banana leaf attack you?

I know you don't believe me, but there was a gorilla.

Oh! Stop that talk. Come on.

Gilligan, there's not a gorilla within 5,000 miles of here.

Now, let's look for that diamond.

They had to take one of these paths. I'll take this one.

You take that one. I'll meet you at the spring.

- Oh, no, Skipper. Ski-- - Now, Gilligan.

Keep thinking of that $10,000 reward. Start looking.

I thought you're gonna take the other path.

Don't play tricks on me.

Skipper! Skipper! Skipper! Skipper! Skipper! Skip--

What is it? Did you find the diamond?

No. No. But I saw--

You're not gonna tell me about that gorilla again?

Okay, I won't tell you, but something frightened me.

Well, what was it?

Was about this tall, has long, hairy arms

and walks like this, weighs 250 pounds. Maybe it's a bird.

A-a-a b-b-bird? It sounds like a gorilla.

A gorilla?

They've searched every place and can't find it.

Yes, I know that.

But after some of the things I said this morning

whoever found it might find it embarrassing to return.

Now, here's the plan.

I'm gonna turn out both torches, you understand.

And whoever has the diamond can leave it on the table

and no questions will be asked.

Oh, Thurston, you're so clever about these things.

I'm sure if you'd been a detective

you'd have caught the fugitive by now.

Yes, I agree.

Now, Lovey, when I tell you, you turn out the torch, alright?

Oh, I know that you're all very tired

I appreciate your searching, but I have a little plan.

Now, here we have a $10,000 reward.

We're gonna turn out torches whoever finds the diamond

has found it can leave it on the table

and take the money, no questions asked.

If we haven't got it, we haven't got it.

Well, after those foolish things I said this morning

I feel someone might be a little embarrassed about returning it.

Ah, ready?

Okay, Lovey.

(Lovey) 'Stop that. What are you doing?'

[Lovey screaming]

Lovey!

[screaming continues]

Where's Lovey?

- Oh! Lovey's gone. - It's a gorilla.

He's got her.

Lovey!

[all shouting]

Lovey!

Lovey!

Mrs. Howell!

- Mrs. Howell! - Mrs. Howell!

- Mrs. Howell! - Mrs. Howell!

Oh, little buddy. I'll never ever doubt what you say again.

That gorilla you saw really was a gorilla.

I'm sorry, Skipper. I should have let him be a dream.

- Mrs. Howell! - Mrs. Howell!

- Mrs-- - Mrs--

- Mrs. Howell! - Mrs. Howell!

He's not only strong, but he's smart too.

We'll have to camouflage this pretty well to fool him.

If you put a bunch of bananas in here, I'd get 'em.

That's right, Gilligan.

But as the Professor just pointed out, the ape is smart.

No trace of Mrs. Howell and that beast

and I've searched every inch of this island.

Once we've finished this trap, we'll go out again.

Carry me, will you?

We're making a map of the island.

Some trap. It's not even finished, and it caught me.

There's got to be a logical and a scientific way

to figure out where that gorilla lives.

The only problem is, Professor

the gorilla doesn't know anything about logic or science.

Skipper, you have to think like a gorilla.

Think like a gorilla?

Yeah, I understand animals and get along with them.

If I was a gorilla, where would I take Mrs. Howell?

[imitating a gorilla]

We're busy here. Go over there and do your gorilla thinking.

- The caves. - Of course, the caves.

That's amazing.

My little buddy does think like a gorilla.

He even looks like a gorilla.

- Now, let's go. - Follow me, I know the way.

Oh, Gilligan. Stop that now.

(Lovey) Would you just get away from me?

[screams]

Don't you think you're carrying this joke a little too far?

Step aside and let me pass.

Your parents certainly didn't bring you up very well.

Do you know who I am?

I'm the wife of Thurston Howell III.

[growls]

Really, you're a.. You're rude.

Oh! Go away.

Lovey!

Oh, there she is. There she is.

Lovey, my dear. My dear, are you alright?

Yes, I'm alright, but this baboon has my diamond brooch.

I mean this miniature King Kong has my brooch.

He won't let me out of here.

Ah, that's a Howell for you. Hasn't lost her sense of humor.

Out of my way.

Sir, I am Thurston Howell III.

I told him that, darling, but he doesn't seem impressed.

I'm a Harvard man.

Good heavens, the Yale man.

He hasn't harmed her, he likes her.

I assure you, she didn't run with him.

I'll lure him outta the cave, and she can sneak past.

You do that, we'll be eternally grateful.

- We're real proud of you. - Careful, Gilligan.

Hi. Hi, old pal.

Remember me, we held hands in the jungle, huh?

Now follow me. Follow the leader.

Come on, follow the leader. Come on, follow the leader.

Let's face it, that gorilla's just a dumb animal

he knows nothing but brute force.

I'll threaten him with this club. I'll show him who's boss.

[screams]

Are you alright? Now I know who's boss, huh?

Why doesn't he let us near her?

He's just protecting his mate.

- His mate? Really? - It's just a figure of speech.

But that's the way the gorilla really feels.

It's a one-sided affair. Is there anything we can do?

We haven't got any weapons.

We can't rush him because he might hurt Mrs. Howell.

We need to capture him with a net.

Gilligan, why don't you start collecting some strong vines.

- Sure. - That's right, Professor.

I've heard that they capture monkeys that way

but we've got to lure him away from the cave.

I'll get some food.

If he's being this protective, food isn't gonna do it.

Wait a minute. He kidnapped Mrs. Howell.

That means this scoundrel has an eye for the ladies.

Let's use Ginger and Mary Ann as a decoy and drop a net.

I'm not sure that will work, but it's worth a try.

But that'll be kind of dangerous.

I'd be glad to put on one of the dresses.

No offence, but you putting on one of the dresses

is like putting a banana skin over a watermelon.

Poor Mrs. Howell. Gee, Ginger, maybe we should leave a place

for us to get out.

He's a gorilla, he could come through the ceiling.

If he comes through the ceiling, I'm going out through the wall.

[knocking]

- A gorilla wouldn't knock. - I don't think so.

- Who is this? - 'It's me, Mr. Howell.'

Ow! Well, I'll be damned.

- Did you find Mrs. Howell? - Yes.

The beast has her and won't let her out.

- Is she alright? - She seems to be.

I've come to you for help.

- Help? - How?

I want you to act as decoys so we can drop a net.

I'd do anything for Mrs. Howell, but I'd be scared to death.

Mary Ann, you were raised on a farm

you know all about animals.

Cows, yes. Gorillas, no.

Ginger, you're an actress, just make believe it's a part

and make believe the gorilla is a marvelous wonderful star.

Even if it were Richard Burton under all that hair

I'd have to say no.

I'm sorry. You've got the wrong girl.

You know a funny thing, after we're rescued

I'm planning on making a cinemascope color picture

about a beautiful girl and a gorilla..

Come on. What are we waiting for?

...in a cave.

I'm really very flattered by your attention

but...we don't have very much in common.

Oh, really?

Just because our ancestors used to swing in trees

it's hardly a basis for a continuing friendship.

It's getting to be a dreadful bore.

Now, be a nice little boy and let me pass.

But you don't seem to understand.

Thurston's a very generous man, he'll buy you a banana farm.

Thurston! Thurston! Where are you?

Just be patient, Lovey.

[growls]

Yeah, yourself.

Gilligan's standing by the nets to release it.

Mr. Howell, you stay with Mary Ann.

The Skipper and I will protect Ginger. Everybody ready?

Ginger, you know what you're supposed to do?

Yeah. Attract a gorilla. Hope my agent doesn't hear about this.

- Gilligan, everything all set? - Yes.

Remember, when I snap my fingers you drop the net.

- You can count on me. - Alright, Ginger. Go.

She's attracting his attention.

I think that gorilla's got sailor's blood.

Ginger! Can you be a little sexier?

For the gorilla?

Ginger, under the net.

I'll tell you one thing, that gorilla isn't human.

Hold it. It's not working.

Ginger, you better go back with Mr. Howell and Mary Ann.

- Okay, Professor. - Thanks a lot, Ginger.

- You're welcome. - Wait a minute.

I've got a better idea. Why didn't I think of it before?

[Professor and Skipper grumbling]

Gilligan!

If you were paying attention, this wouldn't have happened.

- What I started to say-- - Before he tripped the net.

He said when he snapped his fingers, and he did.

- So when he snapped-- - Alright, that's enough.

Mr. Howell, does Mrs. Howell have any perfume on?

Of course, she does. Why?

He took her brooch which should have some scent of her perfume.

Then he took her. Gorillas are attracted to sweet fragrances.

- See what I'm getting at? - Of course, I do.

Any more of that perfume?

On her dressing table in the hut.

- Gilligan? - I'll go get it.

- What's the name? - Warm Afternoon.

- Warm Afternoon? - Yes.

"Purple Haze. Happy Hours. Foggy Night."

Noon Retfa Mraw. Noon Retfa Mraw?

"Warm After...noon."

Don't worry, Lovey. We've got an idea.

[screams]

I just told Mrs. Howell that we're gonna free her

from that hairy delinquent.

Sorry, it's empty.

You don't have to tell us what happened.

Skipper!

- The gorilla left me. - He found someone attractive.

- Who? - Gilligan.

Gilligan?

He does have a certain air about him.

Oh, gee, I hope the Professor's right.

These flowers will lure that gorilla away from Gilligan.

Poor Gilligan. The last three hours

that gorilla's looking at him with love in his eyes.

Will these be enough?

You take these. I'll pick some more.

Ah! There's enough aroma there to attract any gorilla.

He hasn't paid any attention to it so far.

Here comes Mary Ann with some more.

[screams]

Let her go. Let her go.

Let her go. Let her go.

[hooting]

Considering the price of some of these perfumes

it's nice of Mrs. Howell to let us experiment.

Oh, poor Gilligan.

Last time I saw him the gorilla was sniffing him

like a bloodhound on a hot scent.

All we have to do is find a perfume with the same base.

Skipper! Skipper!

Little buddy! Gilligan! How did you get away?

He ran after somebody he liked better.

- Who? - Look.

[chattering]

* They're here for a long long time *

* They'll have to make the best of things *

* It's an uphill climb *

* The first mate and his skipper too *

* Will do their very best *

* To make the others comfortable in their tropic island nest *

* No phone, no lights, no motor car *

* Not a single luxury *

* Like Robinson Crusoe it's primitive as can be *

* So join us here each week my friends *

* You're sure to get a smile *

* From seven stranded castaways here on Gilligan's Isle *