Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing...

Set me a meeting with the Judiciary Chief of Staff.

Lisa Wolfe?

We're going to put butts in seats.

I'm packing the court.

I'm a Republican, and I've spent every day

of the past five years wondering whether judges

shouldn't be appointed by executive decree.

There's nothing I take more seriously

than getting judges on the federal bench.

How about getting judges on the Supreme Court?

We lost a Supreme Court justice.

Justice Ashland's dead?

Justice Brady,

Owen Brady, heart attack.

On my worst day, I am better

than the ambulance chasers

you could get confirmed by this Senate.

( TV broadcast plays )

DONNA: Tommy at Justice.

Covitz at Justice.

Citizens for a Strong America.

Archbishop Gaudio. Archbishop Rummel.

JOSH ( over phone ): What?

Rummel... of New York. Man of God.

I can't hear a damn...

( sighs ): Excuse me, please.

Thank you.

( shouting )

How are these people up so early?

It's a Supreme Court seat. They had sign-painting parties

the second Justice Brady dropped dead.

Counsel sent a new list, said burn the old list.

Listen to this...

"They cavalierly sacrifice

"the unborn innocents, and beckon, arms akimbo,

the reaper, the horsemen, the apocalyptic end."

Akimbo's a word you wish got used more.

There's someone out there selling

"Who Would Jesus Nominate?" T-shir...

They're in Leo's. They just started.

You want this?

You don't like it?

Not really.

Sorry I'm late.

LEO: Dem Leadership's in with the President.

They giving us more names?

I'm sure they are.

We need a short list by the end of the week.

Your schedule.

Your schedule...

Mine... Keep 'em quick.

You got three judges an hour.

Who has Austin Girelli from Connecticut?

Me. ACLU called about him.

I don't think it'll be a problem,

but ask him about that migrant workers thing he wrote.

Why isn't Haskins on here?

Having an affair with his clerk.

Toby, Dubar on line two.

( Leo speaks indistinctly )

C.J.: Here's Bernstein. And this is...

Senator? Yes, Senator.

And this... We're canceling...

No, we're not having a party

over the death of a Supreme Court justice.

Well, not a big party.

JOSH: Evelyn Baker Lang?

Fourth Circuit.

Isn't she kind of a lefty?

Decoy duck. And don't do it in your office.

Do it someplace where the press can see her.

We want the left flank sufficiently mollified Thank you, Senator.

and the right flank sufficiently panicked Yeah.

so as to inspire a little conciliation on all flanks.

Lang should do the trick.

Put Fred Canterbury down on some list

of people we'll never consider.

Baker Lang's just with Josh?

You want Toby, too?

It'll look more like we're taking her seriously.

Toby, Evelyn Baker Lang'll be your 8:45 with Josh.

Let's go, people.

First one to find me a Supreme Court justice

gets a free corned beef sandwich.

Obviously, we're impressed with your record.

Your work on the 14th Amendment, in particular,

is the stuff that dreams are made of.

But before anything else,

we want to gauge your interest level.

This would certainly be a lifestyle sh...

We can just chat.

I'm sorry?

I hear you really went to bat for Eric Hayden.

I wish we could have gotten him confirmed.

Judge Lang, if the President were to...?

Is he still teaching?

Eric? Yeah.

Um, again, if we...

A conservative anchor of the Court

has just died--

a young, brilliant thinker,

who brought the right out of the closet

and championed a whole conservative revival.

You cannot replace Owen Brady with a woman

who overturned a parental consent law.

You'd be shish-kabobed and set aflame on the South Lawn.

Two reporters have--

three reporters have walked by

since we started.

I'm window dressing.

That's fine.

I'm happy to help,

but let's just chat about the weather.

Not bad.

That's what we're talking about.

Maybe we should put her on the short list.

Yeah.

Okay, who's next?

That's his.

( sighs )

This is...

That's a "No."

Sign, please.

You want to move it so I can see?

Not really.

Why are we apologizing to Ashland?

We sent him flowers.

Condolence flowers.

Condolences...?

For his death.

He's alive.

That's what he said.

We sent flowers to the Chief Justice

of the Supreme Court on the occasion of his death?

They were supposed to go to Justice Brady's family.

( sighs ): Get Protocol on the phone.

They didn't actually...

We did this?

It was an honest mistake.

Ashland's 80, he's knock-knock-knockin' on hea...

Who put the order in?

Hey, guys.

You sent a funeral bouquet to the family

of the living, breathing Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?

No, I sent them to the guy who died. Brady.

No, actually, you didn't.

This is terrible.

Um, I really apologize.

You know, I am a nightmare with details.

It's embarrassing, the stuff just leaks out of my head.

We should leave the detail work to Donna.

She's got the head for it.

I'm more of a big picture kind of guy.

She's here because she's invaluable.

You're here because your uncle's so powerful,

I can't fire you. Big picture.

Hi. Bad time?

I'm on my way out. Two minutes.

Lisa, right? You work for the Judiciary Committee?

Staff Director.

Ryan Pierce. We met at my uncle's.

Excuse us.

Is he the one that flipped the car in Nice?

Yeah. When do I see names for Brady's seat?

You want to let the body cool?

You're meeting with Barwald, Girelli...

Here we go.

Evelyn Baker Lang?! Whose acid trip is that?

Just take a breath.

The Committee's not going to let

the balance of the Court hurl wildly to the left.

You fill Brady's seat with...

It's not Brady's seat.

It's not your Senate.

We're just looking at the field.

Girelli has a fondness for Vicodin,

and Evelyn Lang is not an option.

Save us all some time.

We're Democrats over here.

We're not going to nominate a born-again elk hunter

with a tattoo of the Confederate flag on his ass.

Look at Arthur Lopez,

or Brad Shelton, or Mayra Height.

You go with Barwald or Lang, the Senate's going to make

the next year of your life a living hell.

I tell you this as a person who would be your friend

if I looked for different things in friends.

We should do this more often.

As often as it takes.

LEO: We don't hate Asians.

No, we don't.

Justice Huang is more valuable

to us where he is.

Certainly.

Thank you, sir.

Do a drive-by with Sebastian Cho,

Massachusetts Supreme.

Yeah.

You were looking for me?

You hear about a Congressional

delegation to the Middle East?

Next month.

It was Jordan and Egypt.

Now they want to add Israel and do a day in the Territories,

and meet with this shadow negotiation crew.

State's iffy.

As they should be.

The Prime Minister's going to go through the roof.

Not to mention the Palestinian Authority.

I'll look into it.

Andy's leading the delegation.

Is that going to be a...? No.

I'm on it.

JOSH: President's on his way.

What's up?

We hate Asians.

Okay.

( classical music playing )

Ah, Rena.

How goes it?

These are today's, and, uh, Mr. Ziegler said

that the President would want this before their 1:00.

Oh, here, you can put it in his hot little hands yourself.

Ah, this is for you, sir.

Thank you, Lana.

Uh, thank you, sir.

It...

It's "Rena," sir. What?

The girl in the dress with the flowers...

Just now? Yes.

What'd I call her?

Lana. Who's Lana?

I'm guessing an exotic dancer

from your spotty youth.

I should apologize. Get her back.

You asked me yesterday how the schedule gets off the rails.

Yeah. This is how.

Okay.

Good afternoon, Mr. President.

Hey, we make any friends?

JOSH: Maybe Zimmerly, Shelton.

Mehldau.

Lang was pretty impressive.

Gal from the Fourth? Didn't she strike down some st...?

Parental consent for abortion.

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

She was a red flag to the bull.

Oh, it's working.

Lisa Wolfe from the Judiciary Committee

showed up today spewing

all kinds of threats and admonitions.

About Lang? ! And three Dems on the Committee

called, elated we were considering bold choices.

If the strategy's working, let's get her in again.

You liked Shelton?

Yeah. Moderate. Insightful.

Gets it.

Let's meet him. Who else?

TOBY: Helen Waller.

Beresford Bannett, DC Circuit.

Ellis Yaffe. Martha Zell...

( blings, typing at keyboard)

( blings )

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What?

She has a date. And she's getting fired.

( blings )

Evelyn Lang's coming back in

for another red herring performance, 3:00.

( blings ) You don't find that annoying?

I'll have Carol march the Times by Lang at 3:00.

Brad Shelton's in with the President. We like him.

Yeah, we do. ( blings )

( sighs )

"E. Bradford Shelton."

What's the E for?

Elijah.

That's a burden.

Hence the E.

I hear good things about you from my staff.

What'd they miss?

My son burned you in effigy.

Did you watch?

I didn't.

It was a campus demonstration

against American presence in Saudi Arabia.

There's a photo in his yearbook. Someone will dig it up.

I thought it would sound better in person than on paper.

I'm not sure it did.

Did he burn anybody else?

No. Just you.

( sighs )

Well, I've missed you both.

We appreciate this.

I keep running into Brad Shelton in the parking lot.

Some say coincidence, I'm not so sure.

You've been very patient. Well, I don't mind,

but people wonder why the appellate system's so backed up.

We shouldn't let them know

this is how I spend my time.

Well, if you were less appealing...

Same to you, sir.

Affirmative action's going to be back

in the next few years, let's start there.

What do I know about it? What do you think about it?

I don't know.

Not the answer you were looking for.

Not really.

Unnerving, isn't it?

Is there another topic you'd be more comfortable with?

Nothing comes to mind.

Perhaps you should make something up.

I'm not trying to be cagey,

but I don't position myself on issues,

and I don't know what I think about a case until I hear it.

There are moderates who are called that

because they're not activists,

and there are moderates who are called that

because sometimes they wind up on the left

and sometimes the right.

You think I want somebody who's going to vote with Ashland?

I think you're looking for somebody

who will vote with him now and replace him later.

And that's not you?

Wish it were-- he's a giant.

But my allegiance to the eccentricities of a case

will reliably outweigh my allegiance to any position

you might wish I held.

JOSH: Let's talk a little about

what the Judiciary Committee's concerns would be.

We can safely say reproductive rights

are going to come up.

They're going to say judicial activism,

particularly in Drori.

How would you address that? And you're who?

I'm sorry.

Who are you?

We're playing Committee.

This would be coming from

one of the 11 Republicans on there-- Mitchell...

You can only be one.

We don't need to...

If you're Webster, the question is,

"Where do you stand on Roe v. Wade?"

And the answer is, "Judicial rulings shouldn't be based

on personal ideology-- mine or anyone else's."

If you're Davies, the question is,

"How would you approach a D&X case?"

because he's the drum banger on partial birth.

And the answer is, "I don't comment on hypotheticals."

If you're Malkin, you're from Virginia

so you ask about my decision in Drori.

I take you point by point

from the doctor to the father to Casey

to undue burden to equal protection,

back to Roe, at which point you can't remember the question

and I drink my water for a minute while you regroup.

Will you excuse us for a second?

I love her.

I love her mind.

I love her shoes.

We march her to five senators' offices,

they'll be so scared

they'll beg us to put Shelton on the court.

Sorry.

( door closing )

You were vetted by the FBI when you hit the federal bench,

but if we reopened an investigation...

I'm a shill, right?

Why would you bother with a background check?

Humor us.

If there's anything they didn't find...

Let's see, um... in high school,

I snuck a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover

out of the public library and never returned it.

In college, I got a marijuana plant

from my roommate as a birthday present.

And in year two of law school,

I had an abortion.

Can I get some water while you regroup?

JOSH: Okay. Okay.

I tell you this so you'd be prepared.

It might not come up, but if it did,

I wouldn't comment.

But if they know, it'll be hard...

Roe v. Wade affords me the right

to terminate a pregnancy and to do so

free from all restraint or interference of others.

A hearing room...

I'm told I have a right to privacy.

I think this would be the sort of thing

it's referring to.

I also bet like a drunken sailor

during my bimonthly games of hearts.

Do you want to talk about that?

C.J.: An abortion?

TOBY: Of all the gin joints in all the world.

Maybe they won't find it. Oh, they'll find it.

Yeah, but who's going to bring it up, the Committee?

They'd look like monsters.

They don't have to.

Someone leaks it to the tabloid press,

it's a feeding frenzy in 12 hours.

She says she can handle it.

Oh, okay. Well, we need her.

She's the cautionary tale.

Without her, we may not get Shelton.

You been outside today?

We don't hand someone to the madding crowd

so they can take the heat off some guy from Indiana.

The woman is... you should hear her.

What, so she is a serious candidate? She should be.

She's going to be on posters under a headline that says,

"Wanted for the Murder of 15 Million American Children."

Let's think about this.

Let it go. No, really.

Nominees live or die by Roe v. Wade.

We're playing along with the ridiculous notion

that the Supreme Court

is a single issue body in a way it hasn't been since,

I don't know what...

Slavery. Exactly.

So she had an abortion. Who the hell are we?

You think I like this?

You keep this up, someone's going to take it

to the press and this bright woman

is a checkout counter spectacle.

Get her out of the building.

PRESIDENT: Brad Shelton could work for us.

I like him.

LEO: So, talk to him this afternoon.

He's going to start getting calls.

Who else?

Wisnewski's a good maybe.

The Majority Leader's really pushing him.

And Barkham from the Fifth, though he has a question.

It's a tax thing. We're looking into it.

You still having a love affair with Evelyn Lang?

JOSH: No.

Uh, Robert Brandt. How come?

She won't make it through vetting.

Why not?

She had an abortion.

JOSH: Robert Brandt's on the Ninth Circuit.

Stan Yancy's worked with him

and says he's always kept

his cards... When did she have an abortion?

TOBY: Law school. Before or...?

After '73. It was legal.

We discarding anybody else for legal activities?

Not yet.

Tonsillectomy?

We down on surfing this year?

She'd be publicly eviscerated.

27 million women voted for me.

I think they might have had in mind

that I was going to protect this particular right.

We have plenty of... "I like that guy

"from Florida with the good hairdo,

"but I want to retain my right to choose.

So I'm voting for what's-his-name, married to Abbey Bartlet."

Sir, they're going to make this about her objectivity.

We promised the Committee a short list by Friday. I want her name on it.

Okay.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Mr. President.

That pisses me off.

Apparently.

We marched her around here all week.

The honor of a place on the short list

is the least we could do.

We're still going with Brad Shelton?

Filling a seat on the Supremes... heady stuff.

Don't call them that.

My uncle calls them that.

So does the Minority Leader.

So does Henry Clark.

You know him? He's on the Court.

You drop one more name, I'm going to staple your mouth shut.

( chuckles )

( clears throat )

There'll be hell to pay at Agincourt.

I've offended the Dauphin.

Lisa Wolfe called twice.

Senator Webster called regarding E. Lang--

"What could you possibly be thinking?"

Senator Millbank, regarding Lang--

"No, no, no, no, no."

Bertha McNull-- "Not a snowball's chance in..."

Oh, that's not about Lang.

That's about the highways bill.

I need a drink.

Sun's not over the yardarm.

C.J.'s right. Usually.

You want a black-eyed Susan?

Is it a drink?

It's a cookie. My mom sent them.

No. Yes.

Peanut butter with a chocolate kiss.

They're cat people?

No, they're not.

These theirs?

Shadrach and Meshach.

Two cats, they're cat people.

For years they only had one, but he died over Christmas.

This is a dry cookie.

After what was deemed an appropriate mourning period,

they went to get a new one.

And my mother liked the Abyssinian

and my father liked the gray.

And they claim that after 39 years of marriage,

they've outgrown compromise, so they got both.

It doesn't make them cat people.

The house doesn't smell.

Do I have crumbs?

They pick one.

They pick one!

That's how we get Evie Lang.

And not as a decoy, we put her on the Court.

Hi. The Chief Justice says he wouldn't step down

because the President wouldn't be able to fill his seat

with another liberal lion.

She's the liberal lion.

Ashland resigns, she takes his seat, okay?

And we offer the Republican Senate Judiciary Committee

the opportunity to hand-pick a conservative for Brady's seat.

We put them both up.

I'm ordering Mu-Shu, you want something?

Listen to me. No.

I'm serious. And then we've got what,

after we hand the Republicans a seat on the Supreme Court

with a red bow on top?

We have a balanced court. They can't let Brady's seat

go to a liberal, so let them keep it.

Meanwhile, we name the first female Chief Justice

of the Supreme Court in the nation's history.

I'm taking it to the President.

No, you're not.

Do not go in there.

Trip him.

Ashland is 82.

We may have an opportunity to put two people on this bench.

That's two seats we fill with Democrats.

Moderates. What do you care how moderate they are?

Two is twice as many as one.

Can I get in there?

Just a minute. TOBY: We don't need him.

Not moderate, mediocre.

Oh, Shelton's not bright enough for you?

I want more than bright. If we had a bench

full of moderates in '54, Separate But Equal

would still be on the books,

this place would still have two sets of drinking fountains.

Moderate means temperate,

it means responsible, it means thoughtful.

It means cautious, it means unimaginative.

It means being more concerned about making decisions

than making history.

Indoor voices, please.

Is that really the biggest tragedy in the world,

that we nominated somebody who made an impression

instead of some second-rate crowd pleaser?

The ability... the ability to see two sides of an argument

is not the hallmark of an inferior intellect!

Toby... What about the vast arenas of debate

a moderate won't even address?

A mind like Lang's? Josh...

Let them pick a conservative

with a mind like Justice Brady had. Josh...

You can hate his positions, but he was a visionary.

He blew the whole thing open.

He changed the whole argument...

The President will see you now.

And you?

I think they're going to pick

a young, spry, conservative ideologue

who's going to camp out in that seat for 45 years.

Fine. Two voices articulating the debate

at either end of the spectrum.

Filling another seat on the Court

may be the only lasting thing I do in this office.

Shelton's a great choice.

He'll make us proud.

And if Ashland resigns in a year,

we've got a stack of great options.

We can't give it away.

Mr. President,

the first woman in that chair...

We go out on some limb here,

and alienate the Senate,

they'll tread water for three years, and we get nobody.

The next guy gets to fill Brady's seat.

Take it to Ashland.

See what he says.

TOBY: How'd you come up with it?

What?

The swap-a-dee-doo.

There was, uh...

( chuckles ): Donna's mom...

I thought it up in the shower.

Who let them in?

Sorry to disturb you, sir.

Carrier pigeons...

Oh, uh, your flowers.

Yeah, we like them.

I'm dreadfully sorry about that, sir.

"Oh, for God's sake, let us sit upon the ground

and tell sad stories of the death of kings."

Brady was your age.

Eat your greens.

He was a great man.

He was a selfish bastard.

You told the President

you hoped to be replaced by a liberal

with the same level of conviction

that you brought to the chair.

Oh, that sounds like something I'd say.

Sir, are you familiar with Evelyn Baker Lang?

Miss Lang?

You've met with her?

Yes, sir.

How are you going to get her past the pit bulls?

They're not going to like the notion

of Miss Lang in Owen Brady's seat.

For your seat.

If... if you were to resign, she'd be Chief.

My seat?

What about Brady's?

We'd allow the Judiciary Committee to choose someone.

A conservative.

Would you consider stepping down

under those circumstances?

Sure.

We think it might be a viable option.

Go ahead.

See who they pick

of their favorite sons.

See what segregationist,

anti-miscegenationist, Isaiah-quoting,

gay-bashing bastard they come up with.

( laughing )

Jed Bartlet from New Hampshire had an idea.

( chuckles heartily )

is illegal. Take it back out.

Three times in one week.

In some cultures,

we'd be married.

Chilling.

Is it Shelton?

He's the front-runner.

Good. We done?

Mind if I shut the door?

Nope.

How you doing?

Ah, super.

Feeling good?

Got a meeting in four minutes.

I'm going to float an idea here

that even I can't believe I'm mentioning,

and my colleagues definitely can't believe I'm mentioning,

and the President would probably prefer I dropped completely.

And if I find it

in The Washington Post tomorrow morning,

I'll march straight out to the press room

and tell them the idea came from you.

It'll embarrass the crap out of your boss.

You'll be on HotJobs by nightfall.

There's someone in my office.

I thought it was your ex-wife.

You didn't want to warn me about that?

You asked her to come in.

She's cute.

Late some night, our eyes will meet

over the Maritime Commission Report.

We'll be at the justice of the peace before dawn.

You want to talk about this dog and pony show you're attending in Gaza?

Not really. Bradford Shelton.

He's on the list.

You're not going to Gaza.

I still don't want to talk about it.

You're not attending peace talks

with a bunch of Israelis and Palestinians

who don't work for the Israeli or Palestinian governments.

They may generate some useful ideas. The ideas already exist.

The problem is getting the recognized parties to stick to the plan.

So, we sit with our hands folded?

We ask them for democracy.

We should maintain some scrap of respect

for the guys who were democratically elected.

If you're really interested in peace,

you negotiate with anyone.

You negotiate with the mailman.

Thanks for teeing that up. The mailman can't deliver. We'll see.

No, we won't see!

You're jeopardizing this country's relationship

with the Likud Party and with the Palestinian Authority,

and it is not an option!

Is that all you've got?

There's no "What about the kids?"

Did something happen?

I'm going away for two weeks.

Will they be...?

At my mother's.

Good.

Would you have asked?

I figured your mother's, which is apparently...

You say you want to be involved.

It doesn't come with an embossed invitation.

You involve yourself, or you don't.

The President would like to remind you

that this is a fact-finding mission.

Please make it clear to any parties you meet with

that you are not empowered to negotiate for the United States.

Is she in there?

( laughing )

Hang on, she's getting off.

The phone.

You want Josh?

C.J.: Lord knows I do.

Josh Lyman, as I live and breathe!

You want a cookie?

They're from Donna's mother.

No.

I spoke to Lisa Wolfe.

What'd she say?

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm hiding from Toby.

( giggles )

What?

Nothing. You're hiding, it's funny.

It's not funny.

Hey.

See? It is.

I gotta go.

What's going on?

C.J. has the giggles.

It's your deal. I find it elating.

She stoned? I'm fine.

I just didn't get enough sleep.

You were with Ranger Rick, weren't you?

Josh spoke to Lisa Wolfe.

She give you a name?

You are a faithless wench.

What's the name? Christopher Mulready.

Wait for it...

Christopher Mulready?!

There it is. C.J.: He's not the...

America's Democrats: The Triumph of Socialism.

He doesn't like the name.

The man wrote a book that flushes the entirety

of the doctrine of un-enumerated rights down the...

the... Toilet.

Garbage disposal.

No right to use a condom,

no right to get an abortion, certainly,

no protection from electronic searches,

no substantive due process...

He's what, 48? I know.

The left's going to blow a gasket.

No separation of church and state.

We've got problems on the right, too.

Kogan, Howard, Tondello, they can't vote for a Mulready.

Their constituencies are too moderate.

Get another name. That is the name.

There are other... This is the deal.

He's what Evelyn Lang is to them.

We nominate the patron saint

of a woman's right to choose for Chief Justice,

we ask them to ignore an incredibly rich piece of her personal history,

we take the name they give us.

This isn't going to work.

Yeah.

It isn't.

If...

if we were going to try this,

what would be the plan?

We give the President and Leo the name.

We bring Christopher Mulready in.

We bring Lang back in. Hopefully, the two of them

woo the pants off the President,

and he agrees to the deal without noticing

he's standing in the gaze of history, pantless.

I'll talk to him.

You don't have to talk to him.

You've been on him about this.

It sounds more plausible coming from me.

What are you going to do about the Committee?

Lisa Wolfe's going to take it to the Chairman.

I mean the Democrats. You got to get

Senator Pierce on board or you get nobody.

What are you going to do about Pierce?

RYAN: * Oh won't you staaaaay

* Just a little bit longer? *

Shut up.

I thought you were firing him.

If wishing made it so.

Donna!

* Say you will...

Send in Elvis.

What's up?

Come on in.

Take a load off.

I was a little brusque with you before.

I'm sorry about that.

Okay. Your feelings a little hurt?

Not at all.

Really? Why not?

Hmm, would this be easier if they were?

I said I was going to fire you if it wasn't for...

Are you firing me?

No.

Then there's a "sticks and stones" thing

that comes to mind.

( classical music playing )

Finishing a call.

I spoke to Andy.

Anything?

No. The National Security Caucus is sponsoring the delegation.

We could talk to them.

We'll deal with it next week.

Don't worry about it.

We got a name for Brady's seat.

Somebody workable?

You can go in now.

Thank you.

PRESIDENT: Mulready?!

No, are you out of your bloody mind?

The last time I heard Christopher Mulready's name,

it was in conjunction with...

( raises volume )

( President continues indistinctly )

...and some sort of baloney

about the stranglehold the EPA...

Ryan here yet? Not yet.

CHARLIE: Chris Mulready? Yeah.

Dissented on minority set asides.

Struck down hate crime legislation.

Went after Miranda rights. Feeling pretty good about that?

It's not a perfect plan. I'm the first to admit.

The President wants to reiterate, he's not spending

more than five minutes with this clown.

C.J.: The press room is clear.

Carol's going to baby-sit the filing shop.

But keep an eye out for roving reporters.

You in on this, too?

Okay, we got Lang coming in to meet the President at 7:00,

and Christopher Mulready's at 8:00.

The press can't see him. We need a clear shot

from the Roosevelt Room to the Oval.

He's on the short list? He is if she is. We may get both.

Oh, my God, you're putting

my mother's cats on the Supreme Court.

Your what? It's just an experiment.

She's on sentry. We're good.

Hi. Don't ever tell anyone that story.

We all set? Lefty's got the goods,

Rocko got the call, Stinky's on lookout.

Hey! Shall we?

Your uncle's here? ! Knock 'em dead.

Pierce'll never buy it, will he?

Nope.

Remember, he's all bark.

Just let him holler, wear himself out.

He's got the strength, you've got the endurance.

Here! Use it wisely, and for God's sake,

don't try to keep up.

You're way out of your league.

Not necessary, thank you.

Ah...

good to see you, Josh.

Senator Pierce, thank you

so much for stopping in.

Uh, Josh was pretty impressed

with your floor speech on Tuesday...

Josh can kiss up all on his own. Get back to work.

Yell if you need anything.

( door shuts )

My nephew behaving?

He's a... treat.

Well, he better be.

Bugged me for two years to get him a job in this place.

Really? Watch yourself.

He's the lean and hungry type.

Have someone taste your food.

Ryan? So, craziest rumor

you ever heard running around the Committee.

Oh yeah? Charlie Felson says

you want to put Chris Mulready on the Supreme Court.

I said anybody who tries

is going to find himself in a closed session

with myself, the Minority Leader,

and the business end of a two-by-four.

You know, we got

a 21-year-old Glenlivet knockin' around here.

Can I get you a drink?

Lang still in there?

Oh, she's a big hit.

She has to leave.

Her evil twin, Skippy's, on his way.

I did our secret wrap-it-up sign,

which is, I knock and say

the Deputy NSA needs to talk about Japan.

And he said, "You talk to him, you've been there."

Which is true, but makes me think

he's forgotten it's a secret sign.

How about "Excuse me, Mr. President, we need to move on"?

If you want the job, you're going to

have to work on your typing.

Apologies.

He's running behind schedule.

I imagine that happens.

You want to tell me what I'm doing here?

Oh, just a hello.

I'm not being impeached?

No.

This isn't a not- particularly-subtle

form of intimidation about the gays in the workplace case?

That would be illegal.

My point exactly.

The President will explain.

Any minute now.

Hmm.

But since you mention it,

I read your article on Bellington,

and I may be out on the fringe here,

but I don't see how a family values conservative

justifies denying committed couples access

to the benefits of state sanctioned monogamy.

Homosexual couples. Couples.

A couple is a couple.

JOSH: Hi.

How was Ryan's uncle?

He's a blast. Come meet him.

He's still here?

Oh, my God, you're drunk.

I think I just promised him a pork barrel roads project

on an omnibus bill that doesn't exist.

Don't try and keep up.

He's got a wooden-- a hollow leg.

He drinks a lot.

It's an equal protection violation.

Homosexuals are not a suspect class.

DOMA denies access...

No.

...to over 1,000 federal protections.

To what? Survivor's benefits under Social Security.

( beeping ) $255? I'll write you a check.

Hospital decision-making.

So talk about power of attorney, not marriage.

Besides the fact that DOMA doesn't restrict

access to marriage. But of course

it restricts access-- it restricts full faith and credit.

So Vermont gets to steer nationwide

marriage legislation?

Vermont?

LANG: Well, this is a sight to see.

One of the more unlikely meetings

in the history of the Bartlet White House.

It's good to see you, Evie.

You too, Chris.

I came to say good-bye.

I wish I had a camera.

MULREADY: Mr. Ziegler was trying to convince me

the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional.

Oh. DOMA? He was trying to convince you?

( chuckling ) What?

He doesn't need convincing.

Well, I wasn't doing...

He's yanking your chain.

He would never uphold DOMA.

He might not love the idea of gay marriage,

but he hates Congressional overreaching,

and Congress doesn't have the power

to legislate marriage.

The issue isn't privacy... Or equal protection.

LANG: It's enumerated powers.

He'll have an easier time

knocking down DOMA than I will.

A lack of imagination on your part,

if I may be so bold. You were yanking my chain?

You call me in for a meeting with a Democratic president

in the middle of the night.

Are you really going

to give me crap about yanking your chain?

Josh Lyman is gesticulating wildly.

Excuse me.

Where's the Senator?

He's with C.J.

He got me a little drunk.

Is he leaving?

I think he's getting C.J. a little drunk.

How's it going?

He's striking down gay marriage bans

and she's defending them, and they're as thick as thieves,

and he's a fan of chain yanking.

She's defending him?

Up is down, down is up.

I am not. No I am not rewriting Article I.

What I am saying is

that a gun-free school zone is...

Is not a federal issue. In Lopez...

Lopez overturned 50 years of precedent.

Too bad, they ruled a plain text reading

of the commerce clause does not afford Congress...

A plain text reading of the Constitution

values a "Negro" at three-fifths of a man.

Hence the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments.

Oh, generous. Thank you.

LANG: You don't think that the quality of education

has a direct affect on...

Is he...?

Waiting to meet a man you're holding hostage

in the Roosevelt Room.

PIERCE/C.J.: * And while the king was looking down *

* The jester stole his thorny crown *

* No verdict was returned...

Okay, everyone needs to put down their glasses

and pay attention.

You like him?

I hate him.

I hate him-- but he's brilliant.

And the two of them together,

they're fighting like cats and dogs, but it works.

You couldn't find a single warm-blooded centrist

to put on the Court?

We've got centrists.

We've got six of 'em, plus two staunch conservatives,

plus Justice Ashland--

the one clarion voice articulating a liberal vision.

He's going to go and then what?

( sighs )

Well, send him in.

Sir...

I said I'd listen to him, Toby.

That's going to have to do it.

Toby.

What?

Nothing's happening. Hang on.

DONNA: That's him?

Yeah.

No tail, no cloven hooves.

Judge Mulready.

Thanks for coming in.

It's an honor, sir.

Please.

I understand that you and Judge Lang

had a bit of a knock-down-drag-out.

She's wants to federalize law enforcement.

I thought it was hasty.

Not your brand of judge.

Quite the opposite.

I haven't had that much fun in months.

Really?

Use her if you can.

I'm not sure what all this is about.

I... I suppose a number of people are placated

by a glimpse of someone like her

or someone like me in these halls.

I'm most certainly here for that,

but if there's any way that you can use her...

It's unlikely.

Who's at the top of the list?

If I leaked it, would they believe me?

Brad Shelton.

Really?

You don't like him.

He's a fine jurist.

And in the event that Carmine, Lafayette, Hoyt, Clark

and Brannaghan all drop dead,

the center will still be well tended.

( chuckles )

You want another Brady.

Sure. Just like you'd like another Ashland. Who wouldn't.

The Court was at its best when Brady was fighting Ashland.

Plenty of good law written by the voices of moderation.

Who writes the extraordinary dissent?

The one man minority opinion whose time hasn't come,

but 20 years later some circuit court clerk

digs up at 3:00 in the morning.

Brennan railing against censorship.

Harlan's jeremiad on Jim Crow.

Maybe you, someday.

Hmm.

They can't put me on the Court,

just like you can't put Evelyn Lang on the Court.

It's Sheltons from here on in.

There are 4,000 protesters outside this building,

worried about who's going to land in that seat.

We can't afford to alienate all of them.

We all have our roles to play, sir.

Yours is to nominate someone who doesn't alienate people.

Where's Toby?

Can you see this?

Yeah.

It's water, it'll dry.

Okay. You ready?

REPORTER: Justice Roy Ashland, having served 32 years

on the United States Supreme Court,

12 of them as Chief,

will officially announce his retirement in just a moment.

ASHLAND: Henry Staub retired and I received a phone call.

You were probably learning to walk.

It has been an honor to pause in Henry Staub's chair,

a joy to spend...

He'll take three questions, at the most, and then we're off.

You ready?

That's a yes.

So why a racial preference

and not an economic one?

Because affirmative action's

about a legacy of racial oppression.

It's about compromising admission standards.

That's bull... Excuse me.

It's about leveling the playing field

after 300 years of...

See, this is where the liberal argument

goes off the rails.

You get stuck in the past.

Now, you want to come back at me with:

Grading is based on past performance,

but admission should be based on potential,

on how a candidate may thrive with this sort of opportunity.

And studies show affirmative action admits

have a higher predisposition to contribute to society.

Hang on, I got to write this down.

Uh-uh. Hand it over.

Toby has a daughter, Molly, ten months old.

She's a looker and very bright,

and someday he'd like to give her

this copy of the 14th Amendment,

signed by the first woman to ever to hold this job.

Have you got a...?

Oh.

Thank you.

Would you mind adding that title?

That's a bit premature, isn't it?

No.

Thank you.

Mr. President.

Shall we?

C.J.: Ladies and gentlemen,

the President of the United States.

( applause )

The Honorable Christopher Mulready,

nominee for Associate Justice United States Supreme Court.

The Honorable Evelyn Baker Lang,

nominee for Chief Justice United States Supreme Court.

I look forward to taking your questions.