Original subtitles

Oh, there we are, boys.

No matter what, your mum is always watching over you.

Bye, darling.

I love you.

I'll miss you.

Do I get one as well?

The eyes are really popping from here.

Oh, sorry. I cut up all our nice photos to make that one.

So, yeah.

I just read that it's really important for babies

to have consistency in the faces that they see, so...

Oh, yeah, well they are going to consistently see, like,

ten of your faces all day.

Your beautiful eyes. What a treat for them.

And you know what? You don't need to worry.

You can relax. I'm going to send you so many, like,

pictures of them gurgling, doing cute stuff,

and we can FaceTime you!

Oh, OK, that'd be great - but just with the FaceTime,

just make sure the camera's reversed so that...

- Rear facing, yep. - ...there's no screens.

I'm not a completely horrible monster doing this, am I?

No!

You're a working mum, and it's like a week.

Oh, do I have my swipe?

Got my swipe. So that's, that's good.

Oh, and, um, don't forget this.

Did you make me lunch?

Thank you. That's... that's really nice.

OK, well, I think that's - that's me, isn't it?

I've got all my, got all my gears, so I'll just, um.

Oh, I get to - I get to catch a bus now! So...

When was the last time I did that? That's awesome.

I'm such a lucky girl.

Yeah. OK. Bye.

You will never understand the sacrifices

that your parents made for you.

Yo.

Hey, um...

I'm home alone with the bubs today, no Steph.

you want to hang out like teenagers, play violent video games,

have a sleepover? We could talk about

who's had a wet dream and who hasn't.

I'm... all... good, I reckon.

Yeah. Anyway, I gotta work.

Pull a sickie!

Ah, it's pretty full on at the moment.

My god, when did we become so boring and responsible?

Come on, man, let's wag class!

Go to the mall, hit on girls, steal from the pick-and-mix.

Gotta go, hey.

Oh - hey, wait.

Lunch.

I was making Steph some, so.

It's, uh, cheese and lettuce.

We ran out of sprinkles.

I know they're your fave.

Cheers.

Yeah mate, I'm coming. Mum's coming.

Aw. You made it!

- Hi Dad. - Aww.

First day back at school. Well done, well done.

I feel a bit sick, to be honest.

What, nerves-sick or sick-sick?

Oh, it's just a long time to be away from the boys.

Look, it's only for a week, OK?

And if at any point you can feel like it's too much,

you just say so and you can pop off home.

- Thank you. - I'm so glad that you've come in.

It's so bloody hard to get good help.

And we are swamped.

Hey, everyone, look who's back!

Steph! Hello.

Welcome back.

Oh, hi! Hi everyone.

Oh, Kim! Hi!

It's my...

Oh...

God.

Oh, Lily! Thank God.

Can you, um, can you grab my coffee on the table just there

and just bring it in here?

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Yes, OK, but I've got to be quick.

I've got a meeting in, like, one minute.

This? This is cold.

- Yeah. It's fine. - All right.

Be very still, and don't make any sudden moves, OK?

There you go, there you go.

Right. Well - what are you going to do?

Just sit there for six hours until Steph gets home?

Yeah. I mean, it's cool to be still, you know,

take in the world. The ceiling.

It's a nice...

...Ceiling. We love it, hey! We're loving it. Hey, Oscar?

Why don't you call Rosie if you don't know

what to do with them?

Ah, I know what to do with my kids.

OK.

- I'll be fine. I'm fine. - OK!

Argh! I'm late.

You've got this.

Hnngh -

Oh, it's the bloody lock.

Let's go.

- Hey mate. - Hey, morning.

How you going?

Nice day for it.

How's it hanging?

I mean, good morning.

Hey.

Hmm.

Mmm!

That's good.

Hmm.

Hey, is everything OK?

Um... yah?

Oh, good.

Are you outside?

Yeah! Look at me!

It's not a simulation.

Wow, that is amazing.

Go you.

Well, I remembered all my passcodes, so I guess

we are both... nailing it!

Oh, is that lady there?

The one that really annoys you with the baubly earrings?...

- Ooh. Whoo-ooh-whoop! Ooh! - ...just prances around the office,

and you're always like... Is she there? Is she?

Can I...Can I see the boys?

- Can I... - Oh yep.

Oh, I miss them.

What... what's that on Jai's head?

Huh? Um...

Oh, it's just, um.

I think it's just cradle cap or something, something like that.

Really? Since when? I didn't see any this...

Ah, but, babe, don't... don't scratch it.

Sorry. Sorry, that was a bit intense.

I think I've just read that scratching can, like,

lead to infection or something.

Um, yeah - anyway, I'm gonna go now

cause you're making me anxious, so, um...

Love you, bye!

Let's, um, we'll get out of here, hey?

Must be hard. Saying goodbye to the kiddies.

You're coming back to work so soon?

Oh - well, it's only for a week, so.

I mean, yeah. Yeah.

It is hard and strange and new,

but it's not for long.

And actually, things have been going really well so far,

so maybe I could come back part time,

or I could work from home

and just come in time to time, build things up slowly,

and... who knows?

By the end of the year I could be back full time!

Or not, or not. Because there's absolutely no rush.

And this time, this time with the boys when they are babies

is just so special and so formative.

And I don't want to miss that.

But then again, part time would mean that I could be

part parent, part worker, and maybe that would add up to a

whole sort of work-life balanced life situation,

which could be really good.

But then again, full time would mean clearer boundaries

for the boys, you know, and for me and Nat.

And actually it does set a really important example

that... that mums exist.

They exist outside of the home.

They exist beyond the identities and the needs

of their children. So...

...yeah, I'm just going to take it, take it one step at a time.

Because from little things, big things can grow.

If you want them to - but, but, but never say never.

You know? But never say not never.

I might just, um, never say anything ever again.

We're fine, we're fine, we're fine. We're home now, we're home now.

Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

You're gonna be... you're gonna be so, so fine.

We're gonna be so, so fine.

We just... We're in the house. We're in the house.

I know, I know, I know, it's hard.

It's like, it's... hard being a baby.

It's hard being a baby.

I'm gonna bust you out of there, stat!

All right? Stat.

Less talk and... straight away.

Oh, god, why does this thing

need so much restraint - ha, da-da-da-da-da!

Lily!

Lily, are you home?

Anyone?

Pooh! Oh my God, what have you done, dropped a bomb!

Hey, hey Hungry? Hungry, you're just gonna have to wait a little bit,

OK? Cause Stinky here needs...

Oh, you got my... you got my necklace?

Hey, you trying to steal my jewels?

All right. OK, OK.

Hey! hey, hey! It's OK.

Ah, toy! Toy toy toy toy.

What about this? What about this? Huh?

Dee dee dee dee dee! Dee dee dee dee dee.

Is that too many patterns?

Yeah, yeah, that's full on.

Why do they sell that?

Um. OK.

Uh... Uhh...

All right.

OK. I'm putting this thing on, and if you dob me in,

I will feed you off my right boob and my right boob only.

OK. And you! Phwoar!

Oh my God, bro. That's impressive.

Anyone?

Wow. Ah, thank you.

On a tray of screws, no less.

- Flash, hey. - Mmm.

So you eat these every day?

Yep - well, not every day,

- but, like, most days. - Oh.

What's that then? Second lunch?

Uh... nah, it's just a spare.

Mm.

So how's everything at home?

Yeah, fine.

And Nat's doing OK with the boys? Solo?

Yeah. Seem to be.

Hmm.

You know, um, this could be us soon, but in Paris.

Still keen on that?

Um, yeah. Um. Oui!

Ah! Oui!

Ah, tres bien.

Qu'est-ce que c'est, je ne sais pas.

Oh! Wait, you speak French?

Oh yeah.

What do you want me to say?

Um...

"What a beautiful view."

Oh, ooh la la.

Magnifique le view, uh, poisson, et toute.

No, no no no.

- No. - No!

Come on, bro. What is it? OK?

Normally my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Both of you boys.

Is it... is it gas?

Is it wind?

I get, I get some nasty winds sometimes.

And I just gotta, just gotta let it all out.

Shh shh shh. It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.

It's OK, it's OK.

I just gotta check something, mama's just gotta check something.

Almond... allergy... baby.

Oh, shit.

Shh, shh-shh-shh, it's OK. It's OK.

Wait, so, so, so this is the emergency?

Mum, the internet said tree nut allergy.

He could have a tree nut allergy.

Honestly, he would have blown up like a pool floatie

if he were having an allergic reaction.

Babies cry!

Mum, the flake. The flake went right on his face.

Almond croissants are very flaky.

I don't know why you're bothering me and not Steph about this.

I don't want to make her worry.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Natalie King. Repeat after me.

"I have got this."

Oh, wait, you actually want me to...

I actually want you to say it.

OK. I have got this.

"I am a loving and caring parent

- "and an intelligent person." - All right, all right, I get it.

Yeah, "and I'm letting my mother get back to her walking group

"before Prue gets antsy about her steps."

- Love you! - Love you.

Shh shh shh.

bIt's OK, it's OK.

What's that?

Shit!

Shit shit shit shit shit.

Oh my God.

Oh, shit. No. It's OK, it's OK!

It's OK. It's all OK.

It's OK. Come here, just come here.

You'll be fine, you'll be fine. Shh shh shh shh shh.

You're fine.

Stop looking at me.

Shh shh shh shh.

- Hi... - Johnny.

Have you got allergies on your side?

- Are you OK? - Yeah. I'm fine.

Just - allergies, have you got them?

Uh... yeah, yeah, I, uh...

I was a bit itchy one time when I had Nutella?

Oh my God, shit, shit, it's you, it's you, it's your faulty genes.

What is me... What is going on?

Jai's having an allergic reaction.

What? How? I didn't even know he was on solids.

No, he's not, I just, I am -

I mean, I was like, I had this almond croissant

and I was eating it, a flake,

it kind of fell out of my mouth and onto him.

And then... and then I think maybe he's, like,

ingested some flake or something?

I mean, he looks fine.

Look, look on the hand? What's that?

Is that like a rash or hives or what is it?

- I don't know. - I don't know either.

Oh, OK, well...

Shh, shh, shh.

OK, well, why don't we just go to the hospital just to be safe?

You think?

I...I don't know.

He is kind of warm.

He is, hey? Oh my God, he is warm.

He's warm. Shit.

- OK, come on. Let's go. Yeah? - OK.

So apparently Debbie's number two's got chronic nosebleeds now.

- Oh. - I mean, you don't hear me saying

"I've just got to rush home and feed the cats," do you?

No. It's just like...

you know, there's different standards sometimes, you know?

Mmm.

Look, I know it's not PC to say this,

but I really do think you should be able to ask people

when they interview for a job if they're planning on having kids.

I mean some of the people here, not mentioning any names -

Tonya, Andrea, Bronwyn, Sharon -

as soon as they're parents, boom. Nope, that's it.

They just become a revolving door of mum excuses.

I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this. I...

I have to go home, because I have

uncontrollable explosive diarrhoea.

Oh, God!

Hi, I'm home! Didn't last the day.

I just missed all your fa...

Nat?

Hello?

Nat?

Nat!

Nat? Are you here?

Fuck!

Shh, just a little infant thrush. It's nothing

a little nudie time, a little air drying won't fix.

Yeah, and the fever's nothing?

I think you overcooked him a smidge.

One too many layers. He's fine now.

So no allergies to almond croissants at all or...?

Not at all.

Maybe next time, use a plate.

- Those things are pretty flaky. - Yeah.

The good ones are.

I don't think I've ever had one.

What?

You've never had an almond croissant?

Bro, why didn't you tell me about that? That's crazy.

- That's like a crazy fact. Yeah! - I'd prescribe you one if I could.

Might head to the cafeteria now, actually.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

You two have beautiful bubs.

You're doing great. Hang in there.

Oh, fuck. We did a good job.

- Yes we did. - Argh!

Thank you for giving me the shove I needed to get to the hospital.

Yeah, sure.

No, I mean it.

I needed you.

Ah, come on, little smooshy!

Oh, why'd you gotta go do that and get all thrushy on me?

- What's happened? - Steph? What? Wait, what.

- What happened? What's happening? - Yeah, no, nothing, nothing.

It's all, everything's OK. Everything's fine. It's all good.

What do you mean everything's fine? What has happened?

OK, nothing! There was a little, uh, thing.

A little moment with a almond croissant,

like flakeage near Jai's general area, but...

Did he have an allergic reaction? Did he go into, like,

anaphylactic shock or something?

No, no, he didn't have an allergic reaction.

He's fine. It was just, there was a rash, you know.

- What? - Checked him out. And it's, it's...

...it's not anything bad, it's just a bit of thrush.

So he's got, he's got thrush?

Which is normal. Perfectly normal.

I'm so sorry, you've got thrush! I should never have gone to work.

What? Why? Because if you'd not gone to work,

he wouldn't have had thrush?

No. No, of course not.

I'm... I'm sorry. That was just a real fright.

And I wish you had called me.

Ah. Let's go.

Hey, Steph!

What's Johnny doing here?

Um, he came home, he was there? So, what...

Yeah, Nat was freaking out

so I suggested we come to the hospital.

Steph, this is not a thing.

Yeah, it's a thing.

My child needs hospital care, and I'm...

I'm the last person to know that it's happening?

- That's not OK. - What?

- It's not OK. - I...

Everything happened so fast.

- That's bullshit. - What?

You could have called me on the way, you could have texted me

when you got here, and so could you.

Both of you could have contacted me in so many ways,

but you didn't. I just don't get that.

Like, I don't understand why that didn't happen.

Why? Why did you not do that? - Well I, well...

- Because I wanted you to trust me. - Trust you?

So you thought the best way of doing that was to, like,

race off to the hospital with Johnny?

He's not their parent, Nat.

You're not the parent, Johnny, I'm the parent.

Look, Steph, I know that, OK?

He was just an extra pair of hands when I needed them.

- I'll, uh, leave you to it. - I honestly, I just honestly

don't get how your brain works. Like, do you seriously think

that it is OK...