All language subtitles for Double Parked (2023) S02E04 (1080p AUBC WEB-DL H264 SDR AAC 2.0 English - HONE)_track3_[eng]

Yesterday was tough.

Like, all I wanted was
an hour to myself

just so I could scroll Instagram

and watch videos
of influencers,

like, organising their pantries.

Oh my God, yes.

But then Chris comes home
from the firm late

and he says to me, "I'm tired."

- Oh no.
- Absolutely not.

That's not a good move.

He goes, "I'm working full time."

- Bastard.
- Yeah. Sorry.

Like this is not a full time job.

- Exactly.
- Yeah. Definitely is.

And in that moment, I thought
of every single possible way

that I could kill him.

Haha.

- What?
- You know, poison will be good.

Did you guys know that baby bottle
cleaner is actually super toxic?

No-no-no, no.

Hit him with your car.

- Okay. Yes.
- Yeah, that could work.

You could say there's something
wrong with it.

Goes to have a look.
Boom!

Yeah or just, like, back over him
in the driveway

when he's checking the mail.

- Okay.
- That would work.

I mean, I could blame it
on baby brain.

I heard that stands up in court,

especially
if you have a female judge.

- Absolutely.
- Yeah.

I'd kill him in his sleep.

Mhm. Yeah.
Strangle him with muslin.

You see I thought you could, like,
choke him and then stage it as sort

of an autoerotic asphyxiation.

- Ooh. Hot.
- Yeah. That's good.

Humiliate and murder him.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. He's freaky.

I just think about it exploding,
you know?

- Okay.
- You never see a guy explode.

Oh, my God, it was like
murderers anonymous in there.

Except
not even anonymous.

Just, like, fully
fine with being accountable

for their husband's murders.

Yeah. I, I never want to see
those women again.

Hi.
Oh, Holly, hi.

Hi... Oh.

I just wanted to say it was
so lovely to have you both

in there today.

Oh. Thank you.

We really had a time.

- So thank you for that. Yeah.
- Yeah. So special.

Right, you know, we actually had
a couple of gay dads in once,

but you lesbian mums
are quite different.

So serious.

Hey, look, I just wanted
to say that I get it.

Because, you see, um, Jess and I,
we actually, we hooked up once

when we'd had too much Bernardino
at a grammar party, so.

You know what I'm saying?

- Oh, you mean like you get this?
- Yeah. Big time.

Uh, no, no, no, this is something
quite different to that.

- Yeah.
- Or is it?

It is.

Is it though?
Mhm.

I don't know.
Agree to disagree.

Oh, hey, I'm just wondering
if you guys could settle

a little argument for us.

Me and the girls were just
discussing, you know, with feeding

and the babies.

Do you feed each other's?

Like, do you swap or do you just feed
your own one?

Oh no no, they're both
our babies.

So we we feed both of them.

No, I know, I know, I know,
but you're more of the masc...

- ...one though, right?
- Sorry.

Like you're the dad.

Ah, no, I'm the mum.

She's the mum.
Yeah.

What? No. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You misunderstood me.

I just meant because you present
more masc like you're the dad.

Yeah, I think that's the thing
about, um, like, making

your very cultural assumptions.

We're going to go.

We're going to go because he's done
a really big coup,

like coming out
the neck of his one thing.

Yeah, well.
We'll see you next time.

Bye.

Oh, my. God.

A nightmare of a woman.

I'm just worried if we, like, keep
going along to a group like that,

we'll get indoctrinated by this sort
of satanic Stanley Cup cult.

Hey, what about this one?

Queer parent power, New Zealand's
network of LGBTQ family groups.

Huh.
Queer parent network.

Yeah, that's...
That's sort of us, isn't it?

In their stock photo
there's hot lesbians.

God, they're hot.
That's got to be AI.

- No one's that hot.
- I think we should look into it.

Yeah, it's... it's a great
idea because, you know,

after all, we're queer,
we're here,

we've got nothing to fear, don't we?

I was watching that.

Yeah, well, sorry,
your F1 motive videos - whatever -

need to take a break.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

F1 is very demanding
on the body.

Johnny.

I hate your mattress.

- What?
- It's so shit, Jonny.

It's, like, soft and hard
at the same time.

There's, like, this crater
in it where I'm like,

where do I go around that,
you know?

And like, every morning
this left leg is dead.

It's completely dead.
And I'm like, wake up.

I'm going to be like,
wakey wakey, leg.

Wake up, wake up!

We need you, you know, to my leg.

And I just - I just don't want
this to become something

that we break up over.

That's...

What?

Let's just get a new bed, then.

Really?

Yes.

We can even get our own mattress.

Wow.

Okay.
What, like our first joint purchase?

Yeah, well, besides that
zucchini pasta maker.

Oh, yeah.
The zoodle maker.

Man, we should use that.

- Mhm.
- Mhm. Yes.

Ooh. How fun.

And then we'll have zoodles
for dinner.

Can we just have normal pasta?

Yeah, of course we can.

Hey, babe, have you seen
my bongos anywhere?

I just wondered if I should
take them along

because you never know, like,
when one of these things

is going to break out into, like,
an impromptu jam session.

Oh, sorry, babe, I think I threw
it out in the last inorganic.

Oh.

Okay. Let's go.

What?
What?

No, the two piece.

It's, um.

- Yeah?
- It's formal.

It is.
It's a look.

It's what I've chosen.

Yeah, yeah,
no, it's just on the website,

it said queer family market day,
you know,

not 1940s
underground lesbian speakeasy.

- What? Do I...?
- Yeah, I reckon a hat.

- What about a hat?
- Yeah, or a cane?

I'm falling in love
with the winter.

Oh, yeah.
A little disco ball.

Good call.

Thank you.

- What do you want?
- Five bucks.

What? Oh, come on.

You're embarrassing me
in front of my new friends.

I just gave you five bucks.

I've only got a 50. Dude!

Hey, don't spend it on booze.

And no fighting.

A lot of testosterone that's
fizzing around that kid's body.

All he wants to do is fight
and kill shit every day.

- It's full on.
- Oh my God, I do not blame him.

Oh, the thing is, he's actually
really sensitive.

He just can't get - get hold
of his feelings sometimes.

Mind you, I guess, like most adults.
Huh?

- Oh, yeah.
- Guilty.

Yeah.
You should see me after sex.

I'm like, don't give me a chocolate.

- She's crazy. Wild.
- Two boys.

Yep, yep.

Well, are you gonna have your hands
full when those guys get older?

Oh, yeah, we sure will.

But I've actually just read
this book, Mothering Boys.

Have you -
Have you heard of it?

I found it just so, so wonderful.

I'm terrible.

I didn't read a thing.

Oh. Me too, me too.
I don't read shit.

It's actually, like,
the first one I've read.

Oh, yeah, my ex though,
she, um.

Yeah, she did the book theory.

Me?
I've got the street smarts.

Oh, yeah.

So your your, um, ex,
did you say?

How's it work?

- You guys co-parent?
- Oh, yeah?

Leo spends most of his time with her,
but, yeah, yeah,

I mean, yeah, we we hang out a lot,
and I try to bring him to things

like this so he can, you know,
be around queer families more.

Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah.

It's so important to us.

Plus, the dating scene here
is more to my liking.

- It? Yep.
- 0hh, okay.

Absolutely, absolutely.

I guess, yeah, single.
ready to mingle.

There's so many hotties here.

This -
This outfit is doing it for me.

I feel like you could get
rid of the shirt, though.

You know, just the side boob.

Oh, Leo, don't get the...
I've gotta go.

Hey, I'll get your number
on your way out, yeah?

Okay, okay.

Yeah. Let's hang out.

Oh my God.

She is the coolest person...

You think I should
just go after her

and give her the number now or...?

Aw, come on, Johnny.

You don't sleep like that.

It's just a bit weird
that she's watching.

It's actually really important
for me to watch you sleep.

So I know what kind of support
you're gonna need.

Oh. Come on.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

That feels right.

Side sleeper.
Little spoon.

Interesting.

Okay.

The bed you're currently on, that's
at the higher end of our mid range.

But don't worry, you're still gonna
get that seven zone pocket spring

system that has the inbuilt
back support that you need.

Plus this is really great
for any disturbances

you might have through the night.

I'm talking dogs.

Cats.

Um, kids.

Oh, we don't need to worry
about that.

Do you have kids?

- No.
- Yeah, well, like I do.

- Like I...
- Sort of.

Yeah, I mean, I gave my sperm
to like friends of ours

so they have kids now.

But we all live together
in the same house.

But we do not have kids.

Not now, not ever.

Right, okay, well, in that case,
let me show you our waterbeds,

which are having a major comeback,
by the way.

- Really?
- Oh, big time.

Right.

Oh.

Don't worry, Steph,
we'll have it all cleaned up

before your special dinner.

Who is this friend, anyway?

I thought we were your only friends.

Her name is Eddie, and we met
her at the queer family get together.

Johnny, do you still
have your surfboard?

Because I wonder if we just, like,
lean it over there in that corner.

That'll look quite good,
don't you think?

Oh, yeah.
Nah, I sold it, sorry.

But I reckon you could
probably pop up some

of Lily's work up there.

- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. We could.

Oh, shit.

- Sorry.
- Hey, um, did you get wine?

No, no, no, I didn't get any wine.
Should I have got wine?

Yes, you should get wine.
You should drink.

One of us should drink.
I can, I'm feeding.

Okay. No, I definitely will then, um.

Oh, what about that funky
orange wine?

- Oh, yeah.
- What is going on here, guys?

It's not a trampoline park. Okay?
Strike that.

Get rid of it.

I'm taking down
that funny woman picture as well.

Beekeeping is...

It's a spiritual practice for me.
You know.

I love bees.

I've always loved bees.

- I have always wanted a hive.
- What?

Hang on.
Aren't you, like, deathly allergic?

Oh, but it's worth it for the honey,
you know.

She might have grown
out of that.

You know, when I was in in Greece,
I lived with a beekeeper

and she couldn't speak any English
and I knew, what, this much Greek.

but we would communicate
by drawing in the dirt

with our fingers together.

Wow.

Yeah. It was such
a visceral way to communicate.

- Oh, my God, that's so visceral.
- Yeah.

I mean, I found out all
about her life and the world

through the power of the earth.

It is not the dirt.

It was such a gift.

No mud, no lotus, right?

Yeah, I know.
That's, like, so cool.

I feel that on such a deep level.

It's beautiful.

Beautiful.

.
Oh. Little person.

Oh, that's one of the boys, Steph.

- We should.
- I'll get it.

- Oh. Hey, Johnny, no...
- No, I'll get it.

Johnny, thank you.

Johnny.
Don't leave me.

I would love to go to Greece.

I don't know when it's going to
happen, but I would love it.

Coming, coming, coming.

Who is it?
Who is it?

Is it you?
Is it you?

Okay, here I am.

Here I am.

Are you alright?

Ah.

Is that a smile?

Hey, is that a smile?

Hey!
Oh, what a crazy lady.

Okay.

Are those tears for me?

Yeah?
Are those tears for me?

Are those tears for you?

For me?

Yeah, it's happy time.

- No no no no no.
- You have it.

No, I don't want to eat it.

No no no no no.

I don't want to suffocate
you with my baby crowd.

Honestly, we don't mind about
that kind of stuff.

Anyway, you're too cute.

I don't know about that, but.

I'm just tired all the time.

Especially after having kids, right?

- Oh my God.
- Yeah, totally.

It's so full on.

I also think it's kind of like
some...

That's gorgeous.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, I think it is.

And oh my God, look at your one.

- I know.
- It smells amazing.

- What flavour is it?
- Oh, here.

Oh, God. Yes!
Yeah, love it very much.

Oh, no,
you gotta hold on the button.

- Sorry.
- Press that.

Yep. That's it.

Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.

Good.

So good.

So good.

"Oh, I highly recommend eating
insects as a form of protein."

I think it's good that
they've got some new lesbian mates.

Yeah, but she's got such
orgy vibes, right?

Oh, hang on, do you think
that's what's gonna happen

in there right now?

Are they about to have sex
all together like that?

I'm actually kind of offended
that they didn't ask us, you know?

It's like we're hot.

You're hot.

You're way hotter than Eddie.

You right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was just thinking about the thing
you said in the bed shop

about not wanting kids.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I like kids, you know,
but I've never wanted them.

You know, I still don't.

OK.

Is that going to be a problem?

I don't know.

I, um, I'm really enjoying, like,
being part of the boys, you know?

- And I just...
- Yeah.

I mean, but that's the point, right?

That you get to be their dad.
Kind of.

Yeah.

Yeah.
I guess you're right in a way.

Mm.

I was gonna say the cheap stuff.

I think I like stuff
from the supermarket.

It comes in a little pink packet.

I don't want to hear this.

Come on, come on class.

- Mhm.
- Mhm.

Mhm.

Okay.

Speaking of tea.

Mhm.

Have you never been with a man?

Ah, yes.

I, I am not a pure pure les, I, um.

I was, um, with Johnny.

A long time ago.

For a short time.

Hold on.

You fucked Johnny?

No, I didn't fuck Johnny,
we third-based.

It was pretty,
pretty innocent stuff.

Okay, but he's dad to both?

Well, he's the donor,
but he's amazing with them.

Yeah. He's the best.
The literal best.

So great.

Whoa.

I'm sorry, but you two
should be so careful.

Oh. Yeah.

I mean, we've we've been pretty
clear with him about, like,

the roles and the dynamics.

And seriously, the situation
is really similar to mine

and my ex's.

Our donor, Will, he was her bestie.

And then he just got
super involved.

And I honestly think that's why
Margot and I, we split up.

Johnny...
Johnny's not like that, though.

He's like, super chill.

He's a very, very...
He's dealing with it all.

Oh, dude, come on.

Becoming a parent changes you, yeah.

All that brain chemistry
and stuff, you know.

Do you know what?

Will thought that he was a better
parent than me.

And then Margot and him,
they took me to court.

They took me to fucking court.

Well, of course
I couldn't afford it.

I couldn't afford to fight it.

And so I didn't see Leo
for about three months,

and then, um, just...

- It's shit even now.
- I'm so sorry...

But, you know, like,
different situations, you know,

like, Johnny, we've been very clear
with Johnny that he's not the dad.

Yeah, we have,
but this is what happens.

Yeah, I know, and like,
for sure we'll, like,

make it legal and watertight.

Yeah, yeah, I look, I can give
you my lawyer's number.

Diane.
Fucking great.

If it wasn't for her,
I would have nothing.

Actually, yeah, because we do
have a parenting agreement.

But I would love to talk
to her to make sure

that we're actually
on the right track with it.

I think it has to be clear,
you know, it's you and me

and the boys -

and Johnny
is separate to that.

Clean and clear is good.

Um, do if you want to get
out of here?

I just put my retainer in.

Oh, good. Just, uh, just take it out
and we'll go.

Hang on. Sorry. What's.
What's happening?

I just feel like getting out
and bit of your me time.

Oh, keys.

Yeah. Okay.

Well, I mean, um.

God, I'm always up for an adventure.

Okay.

Ooh.

They're asleep.

Me?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, yes, you.

No.

Come on. Yes, you.

Oh, Steph.

Oh, babe babe, babe babe,
babe, babe, babe.

- Yeah?
- Hey, Steph, come.

- Yeah.
- Come back here. Come back.

Yeah.

Sorry.
Are you okay?

- Yeah. I'm just...
- Yeah.

I just don't...

I don't feel great in my body
just yet.

That's fine.

Hey. That's okay.

There's nothing to apologise about.

It's just...
It felt so good.

Oh.

There'll be time.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You feel good?

It was fun to try.

We tried.

Maybe we could just do
some kissing.

Yeah.

I think kissing is still
gonna be good.

Cause I like kissing you.

- Right on cue.
- Yeah.

I'll go, my love.

Bye, hot.

What?

Boats are crazy.

So crazy, you just jump on a boat
and just sail.

Just sail to anywhere.

Australia, Papua New Guinea.

Yeah.

Like, Fiji.

That way is probably Fiji.

Yes.

We should just go.

We should just get out of here.

What, like overseas?

Yeah, yeah.
We'll go to Europe.

We go to Europe.

We'll go wherever, you know.

Yes.

We sell our stuff.
We buy a one-way ticket.

You, me, and we just go, yeah.

We go, we we we see
everything.

I want to swim there right now.

- What?
- I want to swim to Paris.

Johnny!

I'm swimming to Paris.

Johnny!

What the heck?

No wait!
Wait for me!

Wait for me!
Wait for me!

Woo woo!

We're going!
We're going!

Woo woo!

Woo!

Johnny?

- What are you doing?
- Woo!

Woo woo!

Woo!

Are you okay?

It's cold.

Come on.

I love you.

You never sit back.

Who's that?

Do you think any of
Eddie's stories were true?

Is it actually possible to
communicate

with someone by writing
in the dirt?

Yeah.

And I want you to know

You are the only one.

Yeah.
I want you to know.

You are the only one.

And I love you so.