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1
00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:05,209
(Western showdown music
playing)
2
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,339
(Tessa) THEY SAY BREAKFAST IS
THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL
3
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,535
OF THE DAY...
4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,782
BUT EVER SINCE
NOAH'S SURROGATE,
5
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,423
A.K.A.,
MY DAD'S PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND,
6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,848
MOVED IN...
7
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,223
(squish)
8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,064
IT WAS ALSO THE MOST AWKWARD.
9
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,662
PREGNANCY CRAVINGS?
10
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,303
NO, I EAT THIS EVERY DAY.
11
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,658
IT'S A GOOD SOURCE OF ENERGY
BECAUSE IT'S LIVE.
12
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:31,798
WHAT'S LIVE?
13
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,632
MY CHIA SEED PORRIDGE,
SILLY.
14
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,635
(chuckles)
15
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:39,412
MM. YOU GOT A LITTLE...
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,180
MM.
CHIA THERE.
17
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,839
YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER GETS
STUCK IN YOUR TEETH?
18
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,546
HMM?
WHITE ICING.
19
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,208
GOOD MORNING.
(singsongy) MORNING!
20
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,777
MWAH.
21
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,275
HI.
IS IT SCHOOL PICTURE DAY?
22
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:51,488
(laughs)
WHAT?
23
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:52,589
(chuckles) VERY FUNNY.
24
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,620
I DON'T GET IT.
25
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:54,824
GEORGE USUALLY COMES
TO BREAKFAST
26
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,555
IN OLD SWEATPANTS
AND A... NASAL STRIP.
27
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,291
THANK YOU, TESSA.
28
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:00,487
I WARMED UP YOUR ICING
FOR YOU.
29
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,658
OH, THANK YOU. I AM STARVING.
30
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,526
(high-pitched voice)
"NO! DON'T DO IT, GEORGE.
31
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,895
"I'M SO MUCH HEALTHIER
AND YUMMIER.
32
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:11,374
TRY ME. I'M ON THE STOVE!"
33
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,435
(normal voice)
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
34
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,383
IT'S THE CHIA SEED TALKING.
35
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,249
DID I MISS SOMETHING?
(chuckles)
36
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,908
EDEN'S FOOD IS ALIVE.
37
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,646
HER COMIC TIMING...
38
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,881
O-OKAY. HEY, YOU COOKED--
YOU COOKED THIS, HUH?
IS, UH...
39
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,286
MM-HMM.
OKAY. THAT'S NICE.
40
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:27,188
THAT'S, UH, VERY RICH
AND EARTHY, UH--
41
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,891
GEORGE!
I WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
42
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,793
OH. WELL, OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.
43
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,196
BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
44
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,199
(high-pitched voice)
"HELP!
45
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:39,230
I'M DROWNING
IN A POOL OF FRUCTOSE!"
(laughing)
46
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:42,397
"I CAN'T FEEL
MY OWN GOODNESS!"
47
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,166
HOW LONG ARE YOU
IN TOWN FOR?
48
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:46,905
(sighs)
49
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,510
SO... (sighs)
50
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,283
HOW LONG IS SHE
IN TOWN FOR?
(closes drawer)
51
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,782
IT'S A FAIR QUESTION.
GREAT. WHAT'S THE ANSWER?
52
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:53,753
I WANT TO MARK IT DOWN
ON MY CALENDAR
53
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:54,951
WITH A BIG SMILEY FACE.
54
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,852
OKAY. WELL, LATE JUNE
SHE SHOULD DELIVER,
55
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,685
SO EARLY JULY
SHE SHOULD BE--
56
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,421
COULD BE LEAVING.
57
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,756
IT MIGHT BE
THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST.
58
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,291
I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE,
BUT WHETHER IT'S
59
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,727
MANY, MANY WEEKS MORE
OR ONLY THREE WEEKS MORE
60
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,933
OR--OR SIX MONTHS
FROM WHEN SHE MOVED IN
61
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,765
OR A YEAR FROM
WHEN SHE FIRST CONCEIVED
62
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,942
OR THREE MONTHS
FROM THE MIDDLE OF JUNE--
63
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,410
SO YOU HAVEN'T
DISCUSSED IT YET.
64
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,669
NO, WE HAVEN'T TALKED
ABOUT THAT. (sighs)
65
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,308
HAVE YOU DISCUSSED HOW LONG
SHE SPENDS
66
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,354
IN THE BATHROOM
EVERY MORNING
67
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:25,548
WHEN I NEED
TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL?
68
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,179
LOOK, I KNOW IT'S ANNOYING
HAVING SOMEONE ELSE
69
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,375
IN YOUR SPACE TELLING YOU
WHAT TO EAT AND HOW TO LIVE
70
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,587
AND... TO NOT USE
THE INTERNET.
71
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,449
WHAT?
SHE DOESN'T WANT US TO USE
THE INTERNET.
72
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:34,717
BECAUSE?
BECAUSE SHE READ A REPORT
73
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,715
SAYING THE WIRELESS SIGNAL
CAUSES FETAL STERILITY.
74
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,487
SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT
THE BABY HAVING BABIES?
75
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,527
IT WOULD SEEM SO, YEAH.
76
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,432
BUT, HEY, LOOK, I KNOW
IT'S A LOT TO PUT UP WITH,
77
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,904
BUT IT'S NOT FOREVER.
78
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:45,872
RIGHT.
79
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,939
JUST... THREE MONTHS OR...
80
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:49,939
MANY, MANY WEEKS
81
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,670
FROM THE MIDSUMMER DATE
YOU REFUSE TO COMMIT TO.
82
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,576
RIGHT.
83
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,708
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
84
00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:01,784
(Alih Jay) * LAST NIGHT I HAD
A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE *
85
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,645
* DA-DA-DA-DA,
DA, DA, DA, DA *
86
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,685
ALL RIGHT. ANOTHER GREAT
SCHEDULED VISITATION
87
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,320
WITH MY UNBORN BABY!
(laughs)
88
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,487
SEE YOU NEXT VISIT.
89
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,464
BELLS ON!
90
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,792
AND, NOAH, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO HAVE YOUR OFFICE
91
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,356
CALL TO CONFIRM.
I'LL BE HERE.
92
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,825
GOOD STUFF!
THAT'S GOOD STUFF!
93
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,272
YOU ARE SCREWED.
94
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,244
BEG PARDON?
95
00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,842
SHE'S GOT THAT BABY WRAPPED
AROUND HER UTERUS.
96
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,384
SHE'S GOT THE UTERUS
WRAPPED AROUND THE BABY.
97
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,710
THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE.
98
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,514
YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT,
DUM-DUM.
99
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:36,776
SHE'S IN THAT BABY'S HEAD
ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.
100
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,447
SHE'S GOT HIS EAR,
101
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:41,016
AND THE MALE VOICE
HE HEARS THE MOST
102
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,424
BELONGS TO GEORGE.
103
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,287
GEORGE.
104
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,656
HE SWEARS THAT
HE ONLY LET EDEN MOVE IN
105
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,464
TO KEEP HER FROM GOING BACK
TO MONTANA,
106
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,756
BUT... A SMALL PART
OF ME WONDERS
107
00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:54,398
IF IT WASN'T
SELF-MOTIVATED.
108
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,265
A BIG PART.
ALMOST ALL OF ME.
109
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,444
THERE IS NOT ONE PART OF ME
THAT DOES NOT FEEL THAT!
110
00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,842
THEN YOU NEED TO KEEP
YOUR BABY CLOSE
111
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,313
AND THE PEOPLE WHO CARRY
YOUR BABY CLOSER.
112
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,483
IF I WERE YOU,
I WOULD DOUBLE THE LENGTH
113
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,012
OF THOSE SCHEDULED VISITS.
114
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,646
LET THAT BABY KNOW
WHO HIS DADDY IS.
115
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,622
OH, HE'LL KNOW
WHO HIS DADDY IS.
116
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:11,351
WILL HE?
117
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,415
OH, YEAH. HE'LL KNOW.
118
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,553
WHO'S HIS DADDY?
I AM.
119
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,787
WHO'S HIS DADDY?
I'M HIS DADDY!
120
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,022
WHO'S HIS DADDY?
I'M HIS DADDY!
121
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,586
WHO'S HIS DADDY?!
I'M HIS DADDY!
122
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:18,925
WHO'S HIS DADDY?!
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!
123
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,959
YOU'VE NEVER MET!
HE LIVES IN OREGON!
124
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,955
(both panting)
125
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,572
(sniffles)
(car door opens)
126
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,114
(jangle)
127
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,640
DALIA, I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR MY KEYS FOR 20 MINUTES,
128
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,476
AND ONCE AGAIN,
THEY WERE IN THE POUCH
129
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,081
OF PENUCHE, YOUR KANGAROO.
130
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,582
HE LIKES SHINY THINGS.
131
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,484
I'M WELL AWARE.
YOUR KANGAROO IS A KLEPTO,
132
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,317
AND YESTERDAY, HE KICKED
CARMEN IN THE GUT.
133
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:47,494
SHE PROVOKED HIM.
134
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,491
(sighs) DALIA, FACE IT.
135
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,064
KANGAROOS WEREN'T MEANT
TO LIVE
136
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,502
IN SPACIOUS
MEDITERRANEAN REVIVALS.
137
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,398
SO WE'LL MOVE.
138
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,729
WE ARE NOT MOVIN'!
139
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,874
KANGAROO JACK IS THE ONE
WHO'S MOVIN'...
140
00:04:58,899 --> 00:04:59,699
TO THE GUESTHOUSE.
141
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,503
BUT PENUCHE ISN'T A GUEST.
HE'S FAMILY.
142
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,896
CAN'T WE JUST LOCK UP
THE SILVER
143
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,367
LIKE WE DO WHEN
THE SERVICE PEOPLE ARE HERE
144
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:10,607
AND MAKE CARMEN WEAR
A MEDIEVAL SUIT OF ARMOR?
145
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,984
(chuckles)
WELL, IT WOULD BE FUNNY
146
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,653
TO MAKE CARMEN WEAR
A MEDIEVAL SUIT OF ARMOR...
147
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,553
(door opens)
BUT NO! NO, WE CAN'T.
148
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,445
(door closes,
crash, glass shatters)
149
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,417
OH, LORD. (sighs)
150
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,655
I SUSPECT THAT'S
THE CHINA CABINET.
151
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,128
(gasps)
152
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,729
OH, HE LEARNED HOW
TO OPEN DOORS!
153
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,671
THIS IS IT, DALIA!
THIS IS HOW THE MONKEYS ROSE!
154
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,429
IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE
COOKING FOR US, RIGHT?
155
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,497
ARE YOU KIDDING, GEORGE?
IT SMELLS LIKE--
156
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,866
SUGAR-COATED YUM-YUM.
157
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:39,714
SWEET SUGAR YUM-YUM. OUR TUMMIES
ARE GROWLING. (chuckles)
158
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:40,770
NICE SAVE, GEORGE.
159
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,078
* TA-DA
160
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:42,979
(George) MMM.
161
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,680
INTRODUCING WHEAT MEAT.
162
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,523
I WAS WORRIED
THE EXTRA CORN WOULD MAKE
163
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,948
THE LOAF TOO LOOSE,
BUT IT DIDN'T.
164
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:50,853
(solid thudding)
165
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,624
YEP. SHE'S A FIRM ONE.
166
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,093
COME ON, TESSA.
LET'S DIG IN.
167
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:56,161
THE WHEAT MEAT LOAF
WON'T EAT ITSELF.
168
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,189
I DON'T BLAME IT.
169
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,034
SO HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?
170
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,589
THEY MADE TEXTING
A LANGUAGE,
171
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,798
SO I CAN OFFICIALLY DROP
SPANISH.
172
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,200
OKAY, TESSA, NOW LISTEN TO ME.
I HATED FRENCH--
173
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:07,902
I MEAN, HATED IT--
BUT I STUCK WITH IT,
174
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,965
AND NOW, IF WE WERE IN PARIS
AND I HAD A SORE THROAT,
175
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,514
I COULD TELL SOMEONE.
176
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,410
SO?
177
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,511
TESSA, YOUR DAD IS RIGHT.
178
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,482
AS OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES SAID,
179
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,910
"LANGUAGE IS THE BLOOD
OF THE SOUL
180
00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:21,516
INTO WHICH THOUGHTS RUN..."
"WHICH... RUN..."
181
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:22,949
"AND OUT OF WHICH..."
"OUT OF WHICH..."
182
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,793
THEY GROW."
"THEY GROW," SO...
183
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,489
THAT...
184
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,561
DOESN'T RESONATE WITH ME.
185
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,960
ALL RIGHT. LET'S TAKE A VOTE.
WHOEVER THINKS TESSA SHOULD
186
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:34,931
CONTINUE TO FEED HER SOUL
WITH, UH, THE LANGUAGE BLOOD,
187
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,202
RAISE YOUR HAND.
188
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,669
OHH!
189
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,028
IS SHE EVEN REGISTERED
TO VOTE HERE?
190
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,866
SHE IS NOW. (chuckles)
191
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,675
THE FOOD SUCKS,
THERE'S NO Wi-Fi,
192
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,108
AND THE TWO OF THEM ARE
GANGING UP ON ME.
193
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,712
I HAVE TO GET OUT
OF THIS HOUSE, LISA.
194
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,954
I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS
UNTIL MACRAME CAMP.
195
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,720
I CAN'T STAND BEING
UNDER THE SAME ROOF
196
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,978
WITH THE WOMAN
FORMERLY KNOWN AS "MOTHER."
197
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,817
STILL HARPING
ON THE ADOPTION STUFF, HUH?
198
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,192
YEAH, AND AS SOON AS I GET
MY D.N.A. RESULTS BACK,
199
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,721
I CAN PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL
THAT I AM NOT A SHAY.
200
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,987
WELL, I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
AN EXIT STRATEGY OF MY OWN,
201
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,756
OR YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO BOX-WEAVE ME
202
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:08,955
A NOOSE THIS SUMMER.
203
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,626
OH, THEY DON'T LET US DO
THAT ANYMORE,
204
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,865
BUT WHAT IF YOU CAME
TO MACRAME CAMP WITH ME?
205
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,002
I MEAN, I, FOR ONE,
CAN'T WAIT
206
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,566
TO WEAVE MY TROUBLES
BEHIND ME.
207
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,636
JUST PICTURE IT, TESS.
208
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,042
COOL WIND IN YOUR HAIR...
(wind chime tinkling)
209
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:27,077
THE FEELING OF BRISTLY YARN
AGAINST YOUR FINGERTIPS,
210
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,924
THE SOUND
OF THE INTERSTATE MUTED
211
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,089
BY A THIN LINE
OF BALDING TREES.
212
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,619
(truck horn blares and passes)
213
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,856
I DON'T KNOW
IF MACRAME CAMP IS FOR ME.
214
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:40,793
I'M MORE OF A CITY GIRL.
215
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,128
CAMP IN NEW YORK?
THE COST OF THREAD ALONE--
216
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,803
WHAT ABOUT AN INTERNSHIP,
LIKE, AT A NEWSPAPER?
217
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,544
I HAVE EXPERIENCE
ON "THE CHATSWIN CHATTERER."
218
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:49,799
I COULD LIVE IN MANHATTAN.
219
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,567
DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK
YOUR DAD WOULD ALLOW THAT?
220
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,935
I DON'T KNOW, LISA.
IT'S COMPLICATED.
221
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,514
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE.
222
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:57,113
THE THING I LOVE MOST
ABOUT HER MOVIES
223
00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:01,114
IS HOW SEXUALLY ACTIVE
THE OLDER WOMEN ARE.
224
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,148
YOU GUYS WERE TALKING
NANCY MEYERS, RIGHT?
225
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,823
NO ONE WHO STILL GETS
THEIR PERIOD
226
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,762
IS EVE TALKING ABOUT
NANCY MEYERS.
227
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,658
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CAMP.
228
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,290
SPORTS CAMP? CAN'T WAIT.
229
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,694
SPORTS CAMP?
WHO'S GOING TO SPORTS CAMP?
230
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:13,726
WE'RE GOING TO MACRAME CAMP.
231
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,231
I'M NOT GOING
TO MACRAME CAMP.
232
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,832
WE SAID WE WERE SPENDING
THE SUMMER TOGETHER.
233
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,834
YEAH, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M GOING TO MACRAME CAMP,
234
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,566
SO UNLESS YOU'RE GONNA
BOX-WEAVE ME A NOOSE--
235
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,771
THEY DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.
(bell rings)
236
00:08:22,803 --> 00:08:23,973
PICTURE IT, MALIK.
237
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,914
COOL WIND IN YOUR HAIR...
238
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,069
(whispers) I'VE GOTTA GO.
239
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,837
THE FEELING OF BRISTLY YARN...
240
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,049
...BUT I HAD
THE LAST LAUGH.
241
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:38,652
THAT SUMMER,
I GREW BODY HAIR,
242
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,816
AND AFTER THAT, NO ONE COULD
CALL ME "LADY-PITS."
243
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,024
(sighs)
244
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,855
NOAH, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS,
AND I HAVE TO PEE.
245
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,662
YOU'RE LEANING
ON MY BLADDER.
246
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,164
SO WE TAKE A BATHROOM BREAK.
I'M NOT COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE.
247
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:53,266
EMPTY OUT, AND THEN
WE'LL TRAVEL TO JUNIOR PROM,
248
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:57,610
WHICH I ALMOST DIDN'T ATTEND!
(laughs)
249
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,368
(grunts)
THE THEME OF MY PROM WAS "CATS."
250
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:01,607
(Eden) NOAH!
251
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:04,042
(toilet flushes)
(high-pitched voice)
MEOW, MEOW. MEOW, MEOW.
252
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,777
ENOUGH.
253
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:09,053
I'M SORRY! I JUST WANT THE BABY
TO KNOW WHO I AM AND TO KNOW
254
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,292
WHICH CAT I DRESSED UP AS
TO THE PROM--RUM TUM TUGGER!
255
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,289
I'M SORRY, NOAH,
BUT TIME'S UP.
256
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,991
YOU'VE BEEN HERE
FOR THREE HOURS,
257
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,363
AND, FRANKLY,
I'VE HAD ENOUGH! OKAY?
258
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,261
OFF YOU GO.
259
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,003
"OFF YOU GO"? DON'T TALK LIKE
THAT TO ME IN FRONT OF THE BABY.
260
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,731
LOOK, I GET THAT
YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
261
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,666
FRANKLY,
I GOT IT A COUPLE WEEKS AGO
262
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,341
WHEN YOU MOVED OUT.
I MOVED OUT
263
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,039
BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO ABILITY
TO RESPECT
264
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,141
OTHER PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES.
265
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,112
YOU ARE THE ONE
WITH NO RESPECT FOR ME.
266
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,041
YOU THINK THAT I'M GOING
TO BE A BAD FATHER,
267
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,047
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
268
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,408
IF YOU HAVE SEEN ME TAKE CARE
OF MY SPORTS CAR,
269
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:43,977
IF YOU HAVE SEEN ME LINT-BRUSH
MY CASHMERE CARDIGAN,
270
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,617
THEN YOU HAVE SEEN ME CARE
FOR BEAUTIFUL THINGS,
271
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,894
AND THAT BABY IS GOING TO BE
MY MOS BEAUTIFUL THING...
272
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,693
WE HOPE.
273
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,334
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW--
274
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,830
TEXTBOOK GROTESQUE...
275
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:58,403
REST HER SOUL.
(clicks teeth)
276
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,771
YOU'RE A PIECE OF WORK.
277
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,701
OKAY, THE ONLY FAIR WAY
TO DECIDE
278
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,907
WHICH CAMP MALISA ATTENDS
279
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,809
IS FOR EACH OF YOU TO SAMPLE
THE OTHER'S PASSION.
280
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,812
(gasps) NOT THAT PASSION!
281
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,984
YOU CAN SAMPLE THAT PASSION
ON YOUR OWN TIME.
282
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,784
SO IF WE'RE GOOD
AT THE OTHER PERSON'S PASSION,
283
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,716
WE D HAVE TO GO
TO THEIR CAMP OR WE DON'T?
284
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,992
KNOT UP, MALIK,
AND FIND YOUR WEAVE.
285
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,722
SORRY IF THAT SOUNDS RACIST.
286
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,687
OKAY, SO WHAT SHOULD I MAKE,
A KEY RING?
287
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,756
YAWN.
288
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,464
A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET?
OVERDONE.
289
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,125
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO--
290
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,262
BEWEAVE IN YOURSELF.
291
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,698
(whispers) JUST BEWEAVE.
292
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,333
OH, YEAH.
I LIKE THIS STICK.
293
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,797
IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL,
LIKE A WARRIOR!
294
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,407
AAH!
295
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,139
(sighs) DAMN, GIRL!
296
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,775
TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE EXPLORED
OUR PASSIONS OUTSIDE.
297
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,076
MY OWN ESCAPE PLAN
WAS READY TO GO.
298
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,675
MY INK-JET, HOWEVER...
299
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,447
PRINT, YOU STUPID PAGE.
300
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,694
PRINT!
(knock on door)
301
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,820
TESSA?
302
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,185
DID YOU TURN ON
THE WIRELESS ROUTER?
303
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,163
NO.
304
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,290
(whirs)
305
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,356
LOOK, I WAS JUST TEMPORARILY
ON THE INTERNET
306
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,934
FOR AN IMPORTANT
ACADEMIC ENDEAVOR.
307
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,295
"'VILLAGE VOICE' INTERNSHIP"?
308
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,703
THAT'S NOT MINE.
309
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,036
OKAY, IT'S MINE.
PLEASE DON'T FREAK OUT.
310
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,171
WHY NOT?
I LOVE ALTERNATIVE WEEKLIES.
311
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,877
I'M A HUGE SLUT FOR THEM.
312
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:16,839
YOU ARE?
313
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,777
MY FIRST INTERNSHIP WAS
ON A SUSTAINABLE FARM
314
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,212
IN SANTA CRUZ.
315
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,317
IT WAS MY JOB TO PEE
ON THE COMPOST.
316
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,920
SOMEONE'S GOT TO.
317
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,053
OR DO THEY?
318
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,487
BEFORE ME, IT WAS A JOB
THAT HAD ONLY BEEN DONE BY MEN.
319
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,262
IT TOOK SOME REAL PERSISTENCE
ON MY PART,
320
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:34,761
BUT I PROVED THAT
THE NITROGEN IN MY URINE
321
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,295
WAS JUST AS GOOD
AS ANY MAN'S.
322
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,330
OF COURSE,
THEY PAID ME LESS.
323
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,796
BUT, HEY, YOU GOT THE JOB.
324
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,165
SO DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE
FOR ME?
325
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,443
APPLY IN PERSON. LET THEM PUT
A FACE TO THE NAME.
326
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,542
OKAY. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
327
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,375
BUT THE MAJOR OBSTACLE HERE
IS GONNA BE GEORGE.
328
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,910
ANYTIME I MENTION ANYTHING
ABOUT THE CITY, HE FREAKS OUT.
329
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,946
WELL, LET ME TALK TO HIM
FOR YOU.
330
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:58,092
YOU JUST CONCENTRATE
ON GETTING THE GIG.
331
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,288
REALLY?
332
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,889
YEAH.
333
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:04,061
THANKS, EDEN.
THAT WOULD BE A BIG HELP,
334
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:08,501
AND... CAN I ASK YOU
ONE MORE FAVOR?
335
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,428
NO MORE CHIA SEED VOICES?
336
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,873
BINGO.
337
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,565
SO WHAT'S UP?
338
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,513
VISIT WITH NOAH DIDN'T GO
VERY WELL TODAY.
339
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,839
(sighs)
I KINDA THREW HIM OUT.
340
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,135
WELL, I'M NOT SURPRISED.
341
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,146
THIS PREGNANCY HAS
MADE HIM NUTS.
342
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,048
(sighs) HE FLARED
HIS NOSTRILS AT ME.
343
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,250
FOR THE RECORD,
HE'S BEEN THROWING A LOT
344
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,151
OF NOSTRIL AROUND
THESE DAYS.
345
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,893
I GOT AN EYEFUL MYSELF
THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM.
346
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,360
(indistinct conversations)
347
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,318
I THINK I WAS TOO BLUNT
WITH HIM.
348
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,527
NO. HEY, THAT'S WHAT
I LIKE ABOUT YOU.
349
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,160
YOU'RE A STRAIGHT SHOOTER.
350
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,225
I'M GLAD...
(inhales deeply)
351
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,104
'CAUSE I SHOT SUPER STRAIGHT
WITH TESSA TODAY
352
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,804
WHEN SHE TOLD ME
SHE WANTED TO APPLY
353
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:51,036
FOR AN INTERNSHIP
AT "THE VILLAGE VOICE."
354
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,473
AN INTERNSHIP?
355
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,307
I DROPPED HER AT THE TRAIN
356
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,042
SO SHE COULD WALK
HER APPLICATION IN.
357
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:58,147
SHE'S THERE RIGHT NOW.
358
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,948
SHE'S THERE RIGHT NOW?
359
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:00,710
ARE YOU MAD?
360
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,177
MAD? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I'M MAD?
361
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,615
YOU KEEP ANSWERING ME
IN QUESTIONS.
362
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,820
DO I?
363
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:08,223
I'M NOT MAD.
I'M... CONFUSED.
364
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,285
CONFUSED?
YEAH.
365
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,992
I'M CONFUSED AS TO WHO
IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE
366
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,826
SOMEONE ELSE'S KID PERMISSION
TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
367
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:16,733
OH. SORRY.
368
00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:19,603
I JUST GOT AN URGENT TEXT,
SO I'M GONNA...
369
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,572
LEAVE ABRUPTLY AND...
370
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:26,572
NOT DISCUSS THIS
ANY FURTHER.
371
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:30,076
(door opens and closes)
372
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,480
(indistinct conversations)
373
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,048
(knocks on desk)
KNOCK, KNOCK.
374
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,487
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE.
375
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,491
I'M HERE TO DROP OFF
MY APPLICATION
376
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,593
FOR THE SUMMER INTERNSHIP
IN PERSON.
377
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,226
OH, WE DON'T TAKE THOSE
IN PERSON,
378
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,961
SO YOU GOTTA GO SUBMIT
THAT ONLINE.
379
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,057
WELL, I WAS GONNA SUBMIT
IT ONLINE,
380
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:53,298
AND THEN I THOUGHT,
381
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:57,503
"THIS IS 'THE VILLAGE VOICE.'
SHOW SOME RESPECT, TESSA."
382
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:58,507
I'M TESSA.
383
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,538
TROY. EDITORIAL ASSISTANT.
384
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,413
WOW. AWESOME.
385
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,482
(chuckles) AWESOME.
THAT'S REALLY AWESOME.
386
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,111
YOU WENT TO HUMANITIES?
387
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,916
BEFORE WE MOVED
TO THE SUBURBS, YEAH.
388
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,178
YOU MOVED TO THE SUBURBS?
389
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,476
MAJOR CULTURE SHOCK.
390
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,447
WELL, THAT'D MAKE
A GREAT PIECE
391
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,554
FOR "THE VILLAGE VOICE,"
RIGHT?
392
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,945
OH, MY GOD. YEAH.
393
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,887
TROY, I-I'D LOVE TO.
394
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,993
WELL, CREATIVE DECISIONS
AREN'T UP TO ME,
395
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,655
BUT THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
396
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:23,662
(telephone ringing)
397
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,196
TROY?
398
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:30,172
I KNOW YOU ARE A SNIDE,
HOLIER-THAN-THOU URBANITE.
399
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,543
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT YOU,
400
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:36,382
AND THAT'S WHAT I MISS
ABOUT MYSELF.
401
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:39,979
I REALLY, REALLY WANT
THIS INTERNSHIP.
402
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,153
I'LL SCRAPE GUM
OFF YOUR DESK.
403
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,382
I WILL SCRUB YOUR TOILETS.
404
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:47,017
I WILL TRAP RODENTS
IN YOUR SIXTH FLOOR WALK-UP.
405
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,524
I LIVE
IN AN ELEVATOR BUILDING,
406
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,986
BUT, UM, WE'LL BE IN TOUCH.
407
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,926
OKAY.
408
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,732
NOW JUST TURN AND WALK AWAY.
409
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,734
IF HE PICKS UP YOUR APPLICATION
AND LOOKS AT IT,
410
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:02,466
HE'S INTERESTED.
411
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,942
HE'S INTERESTED.
412
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,037
OHH. GEORGE, THANKS
FOR COMING RIGHT OVER.
413
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,077
ACTUALLY, I WAS GLAD TO GET OUT
OF MY HOUSE FOR A MINUTE.
414
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,552
WHAT'S GOING ON?
415
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,950
(sighs) THAT RUDE 'ROO
RUINED MY ROOMS.
416
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:18,493
I RUE THE DAY
I AGREED TO A KANGAROO.
417
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,448
HE MANGLED MY MING,
AND HE WIPED HIS FEET
418
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,487
ON MY BEST PERSIAN--
GARDENER, NOT RUG.
419
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,133
YOU KNOW, YOU INVITE SOMEONE
INTO YOUR HOME,
420
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,228
YOU EXPECT THEM
TO TREAT IT WITH RESPECT.
421
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,560
EXACTLY. (chuckles)
422
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,495
MY--MY ROOMMATE SITUATION
ISN'T ANY BETTER.
423
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,100
EDEN TOTALLY OVERSTEPPED
HER BOUNDARIES WITH TESSA TODAY.
424
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,403
(gasps) DID SHE BEAT HER?
425
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,135
N--DID SHE--
426
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,769
NO, SHE DIDN'T BEAT HER,
DALLAS.
427
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,514
SHE JUST--SHE GAVE HER
PERMISSION TO DO SOMETHING
428
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,239
I NEVER WOULD HAVE
SAID "YES" TO.
429
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,644
OH. SO TESSA'S NOT UPSET.
YOU ARE.
430
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,307
WELL, TRUST ME, GEORGE.
THAT'S WAY BETTER.
431
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,517
AN ANGRY TEENAGER IS WORSE
THAN A LOCUST PLAGUE.
432
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,749
(chuckles)
DALIA WON'T COME OUT
OF HER ROOM
433
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,623
SINCE I SAID HER PET HAS
TO LIVE IN THE GUESTHOUSE.
434
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,623
HAVEN'T SEEN HER THIS UPSET
SINCE SHE SAW
435
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,255
THE OPENING WEEKEND NUMBERS
FOR "MADEA GOES TO JAIL."
436
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,591
WELL, MAYBE DALIA'S EMOTIONAL
ABOUT HAVING HER PET SENT AWAY
437
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,128
BECAUSE SHE RECENTLY LOST
SOMETHING ELSE
438
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,304
THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO HER.
439
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,102
OH. HER ONLINE ACCESS
TO BOX OFFICE MOJO?
440
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:08,965
I HAD TO, GEORGE.
441
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,702
SHE'S BETTER OFF IGNORANT
LIKE HER DAD.
442
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,168
OH. YOU MEANT HER DAD.
443
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,337
DALLAS, THIS IS A SENTENCE
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY,
444
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,606
BUT LET THE KANGAROO LIVE
IN THE MAIN HOUSE.
445
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,075
BETTER YOU WRECK YOUR CHINA
446
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,653
THAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR KID.
447
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:25,191
WELL... (sighs) MAYBE YOU'VE
GOT A POINT THERE, GEORGE.
448
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,718
OH, BOY. I'LL TELL YA,
IT ISN'T EASY DOING
449
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,594
THIS WHOLE PARENTING THING
ON YOUR OWN.
450
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,762
YEAH? I'M SO USED
TO DOING IT ON MY OWN,
451
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,161
I HAVE
THE OPPOSITE PROBLEM.
452
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,633
IT'S TOUGH
TO LET SOMEBODY ELSE IN.
453
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:35,831
I CAN'T STRESS THIS
ENOUGH...
454
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:36,662
HMM?
455
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,066
COMMUNICATION IS KEY.
456
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:43,269
LORD KNOWS THAT'S ONE THING THAT
STEVEN AND I NEVER GOT RIGHT.
457
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:47,143
DON'T RUN AWAY.
GO TALK TO HER.
458
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:47,774
YOU'RE RIGHT.
459
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,137
YOU HAVE THAT OPTION.
460
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,376
UNLIKE OUR KANGAROO,
EDEN SPEAKS ENGLISH,
461
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,751
AND SHE DOESN'T TRY
TO KICK YOU IN THE GUT.
462
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,179
(chuckles) ALL RIGHT.
463
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,054
YOU SURE YOU DON'T NEED HELP
WITH THE REST OF THIS?
464
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:59,093
OH, CARMEN WILL GET IT.
465
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,049
THAT WOMAN LOVES
TO CLEAN UP AFTER US,
466
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,588
I SWEAR. (chuckles)
467
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,092
DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW
THE TWO OF US SEEM
468
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,734
TO SOLVE THINGS WHEN WE GET
IN A ROOM TOGETHER?
469
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,429
NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT,
WE DO MAKE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM.
470
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,662
YEAH. WE'RE LIKE
MULDER AND SCULLY.
471
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,698
(chuckles)
WE CERTAINLY ARE.
472
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:16,572
IT'S A TV SHOW.
473
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:20,443
(chuckles) I KNOW, SILLY!
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
474
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,113
GUESS YOU'D BETTER GET HOME
TO YOUR GIRL... SCULLY?
475
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,414
NOPE. (chuckles)
476
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,346
BUT I AM TERRIBLE
AT LACROSSE,
477
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,824
AND YOU'RE
A MACRAME SUPERSTAR.
478
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,152
I'M GOOD AT EVERYTHING.
479
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,487
I SHOULDN'T BE PENALIZED
FOR THAT.
480
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,192
I WANT TO GO
TO SPORTS CAMP.
481
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:38,834
WHO'S THIRSTY?
482
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,328
THANKS, "MOTHER."
483
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,201
YOU'RE WELCOME, "LISA."
484
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,270
(chuckles) NOW I CAN'T HELP
BUT HAVE OVERHEARD
485
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,098
YOUR ENTIRE CONVERSATION
AND TAKEN A SIDE.
486
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:50,895
LISA, STAND BY YOUR MAN.
487
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,707
MALIK, THAT OUTFIT IS FLY.
488
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,110
(chuckles)
489
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,342
(chuckles)
490
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,106
FINE. I GIVE UP.
491
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,345
LET'S GO
TO STUPID SPORTS CAMP.
492
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,220
NO.
I'LL GO TO MACRAME CAMP.
493
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,720
YOU NEED THIS MORE THAN ME.
494
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,621
I REALLY DO, MALIK.
I REALLY DO.
495
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:11,285
I'M GONNA WEAVE YOU
A MACRAME BIKINI, GIRL.
496
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,933
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK GOOD.
497
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,332
GEORGE, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
498
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:21,125
I STUCK MY NOSE IN
WHERE IT DIDN'T BELONG.
499
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,698
EDEN, YOUR NOSE BELONGS.
500
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:26,165
MINE JUST GOT A LITTLE
OUT OF JOINT FOR A MINUTE.
501
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,476
I'M SORRY
I WALKED OUT ON YOU,
502
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,808
BUT I GOTTA ADMIT,
I AM NOT USED TO HAVING
503
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,153
SOMEONE ELSE MAKE DECISIONS
FOR TESSA OTHER THAN ME.
504
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:36,650
OH, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
IT'S JUST...
505
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,223
YOU SAID I GOT A VOTE,
SO I THOUGHT I GOT A VOTE.
506
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,322
RIGHT. OKAY.
507
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:43,193
WELL, THE, UH, THE POLLS HAVE
TO BE OPEN... (chuckles)
508
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,493
AND I REALLY JUST DON'T THINK
THEY ARE ON THIS ONE.
509
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,825
IT'S FINE.
IT'S NOT MY DISTRICT.
510
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,600
I CAN TOTALLY JUST MIND
MY OWN BUSINESS
511
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,930
WHERE TESSA IS CONCERNED,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
512
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,465
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.
513
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:58,641
OH. HELLO. WELCOME HOME.
OH, S-SO NOW YOU'RE--
514
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,671
YOU'RE PERFECTLY HAPPY
TO HAVE EDEN CHIME IN,
515
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,607
AS--AS LONG AS SHE AGREES
WITH YOU.
516
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,982
I COULD SAY THE SAME THING
ABOUT YOU, GEORGE.
517
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,281
YOU WERE HAPPY
TO GIVE HER A VOTE
518
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,313
WHEN IT SERVED YOUR AGENDA.
519
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,677
PARENTING IS NOT AN AGENDA,
TESSA, AND I'M SORRY,
520
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,816
BUT YOU ARE NOT SPENDING
THE SUMMER IN MANHATTAN.
521
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:12,621
THERE.
YOU DICTATOR.
522
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,252
YOU ARE SUCH A DICTATOR!
523
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:17,557
GUYS, I-I KNOW WE'RE STILL
TECHNICALLY TRYING
524
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,860
TO DETERMINE IF I'M ALLOWED
TO WEIGH IN ON THIS,
525
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,832
BUT I HAVE AN IDEA.
526
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,361
YOU CAN TELL ME TO SHUT UP
IF YOU WANT TO,
527
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,256
BUT WHAT IF TESSA
COMMUTES--
528
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,267
SHUT UP.
529
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,539
(chuckles) JUST TRYING
TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD. CONTINUE.
530
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:29,798
WELL, SO WHAT IF TESSA
COMMUTES--
531
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,966
SHUT UP! SORRY.
SHUT UP, PLEASE. SORRY.
532
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,535
I'M SORRY.
533
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:37,384
I GUESS I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH THOSE TWO WORDS--
534
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,850
"TESSA COMMUTES"--
WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER.
535
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:40,879
ARE YOU FINISHED?
536
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:44,683
SO WHAT IF
YOUR DAUGHTER TRAVELS
537
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,417
TO THE CITY TO DO
HER INTERNSHIP,
538
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,993
BUT SHE COMES HOME
AT NIGHT TO CHATSWIN...
539
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,320
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP.
540
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,986
AND HE GETS YOU
A TRAIN PASS.
541
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,985
THAT ACTUALLY DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE A BAD COMPROMISE.
542
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,357
BUT THEN I WON'T BE ABLE
TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS
543
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,466
AFTER WORK
OR GO OUT AT NIGHT
544
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,668
OR DO ANYTHING AT ALL
IN THE CITY.
545
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,870
ALL I'LL SEE IS THE INSIDE
OF AN OFFICE BUILDING.
546
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:06,042
YES, BUT A NEW YORK CITY
OFFICE BUILDING.
547
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:09,382
HEY, IT COULD BE A LOT WORSE.
IT COULD BE A FLAT-OUT "NO."
548
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,409
(door slams)
549
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:13,353
YOU SHOULD HEAR THE SLAM
WHEN IT'S A FLAT-OUT "NO."
550
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,410
(sighs)
551
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,817
(doorbell rings)
552
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,815
SO WHAT'S UP?
553
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,723
I WANTED YOU TO KNOW
THAT I'VE DECIDED
554
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:26,625
TO EIGHTY-SIX
THE SCHEDULED VISITATIONS
555
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:27,759
WITH EDEN.
556
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,564
SHE DOESN'T ENJOY THEM.
557
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,926
FRANKLY, THEY'VE BECOME
UNCOMFORTABLE.
558
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,873
LOOK, MAN, I'M SORRY
IF THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
559
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,969
I-I REALLY THOUGHT
HAVING EDEN MOVE IN WAS
560
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,441
THE RIGHT DECISION,
561
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,069
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IT JUST
PISSED EVERYONE OFF.
562
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:42,314
IT'LL BE FINE.
I'LL GIVE EDEN SOME SPACE.
563
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,912
I'LL SEE MY BABY WHEN IT CLIMBS
OUT OF HER DOUGHNUT HOLE.
564
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,514
(chuckles)
"HER DOUGHNUT HOLE"?
565
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,076
I THINK YOU MEAN
HER DOUGHNUT.
566
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,754
NO, I DON'T.
567
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,692
A DOUGHNUT HOLE IS
THE ACTUAL HOLE IN THE DOUGHNUT.
568
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:53,649
OH, YEAH?
THEN HOW IS IT THAT
569
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,656
I CAN BUY A DOZEN OF THEM,
GLAZED OR UNGLAZED?
570
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,729
WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN
PURCHASING, MY FRIEND,
571
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,958
ARE DOUGHNUT BALLS...
572
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:00,732
(chuckles)
573
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,630
DEEMED "DOUGHNUT HOLES"
BY MORONS.
574
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:05,732
A-A HOLE IS
A NEGATIVE SPACE.
575
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,735
WELL, I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE
WE'RE IN A NEGATIVE SPACE.
576
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:18,947
("Main Theme"
from "The X-Files" playing)
577
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,908
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG
WITH THIS MAN?
578
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:26,548
KISS HER, MULDER. KISS HER!
579
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,586
WHY THE HELL WON'T
HE KISS HER?!
39806
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