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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:06,340 ...AND UNLIKE A WOODEN HANGER, IT WILL NEVER DEPRECIATE. 2 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,277 (Tessa) IN CHATSWIN, THERE WAS NO END 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,082 TO WHAT PEOPLE WERE WILLING TO SPEND MONEY ON. 4 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,745 NOAH HAD INVESTED IN THE BEST SURROGATE 5 00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:16,423 THAT MONEY COULD BUY, BUT IN THE PROCESS... 6 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:19,054 WHOA. WHOA. (chuckles) EL SCORCHO. 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,990 (chuckles) PRETTY HEAVY HAND WITH THE PEPPER THERE. 8 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,415 HE HAD BECOME OVERLY INVESTED. 9 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,891 PEPPER IS QUITE HEALTHFUL, NOAH. IT'S AN ANTIOXIDANT. 10 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,799 I'M VERY SENSITIVE TO SPICE. CHANCES ARE, MY BABY IS AS WELL. 11 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,803 (mouth full) IF EAT ANYTHING THAT UPSETS THE BABY, 12 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:32,925 I'LL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. 13 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT. 14 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,038 US WERNERS TEND TO SUFFER IN SILENCE. 15 00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:37,674 (utensil clinks) 16 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,508 THE MEN DO, ANYWAY. 17 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,243 YOU KNOW, I JUST FIND ALICIA KEYS TO BE 18 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:43,239 A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. THAT'S ALL. 19 00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:46,051 (mouth full) NO ONE IS ARGUING WITH YOU, DAD. NO ONE. 20 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:47,754 DO WE REALLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS? 21 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,745 YOUR MOTHER IS DISTRACTED, LISA, SO THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME 22 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,118 TO TALK ABOUT ALICIA KEYS. 23 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,346 HEY, THERE SHE IS. 24 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:54,621 (mouth full) GEORGE! I MISSED YOU. 25 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,918 NOAH WAS PROTECTIVE OVER HIS INVESTMENT, 26 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,830 AND THE FACT THAT DAD WAS DATING HER DIDN'T HELP. 27 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,133 GEORGE! COME... PEE WITH ME. 28 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,567 WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SEXUAL CHEMISTRY OUT THERE 29 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,372 BETWEEN YOU AND EDEN? I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT. 30 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,144 I DIDN'T AGREE TO NOT HAVE SEXUAL CHEMISTRY WITH HER. 31 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:09,803 LOOK AT HER, MAN. 32 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,070 SHE'S GORGEOUS, AND I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER. 33 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,210 WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 34 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:16,484 PICTURE HER INSIDES FULL OF BLOOD AND MUCUS 35 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:18,354 AND BABY BONES. 36 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,882 I AM SO TURNED ON RIGHT NOW. 37 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,877 NOT FUNNY, GEORGE! IT'S NOT. 38 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,249 LOOK, EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, 39 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,517 ALL I CAN SEE IS MY BEAUTIFUL FETUS 40 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,116 BATHING IN YOUR GERMS AND YOUR SALIVA. 41 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,789 IT'S LIKE EVERY TIME YOU GROPE HER, 42 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,627 YOU'RE GROPING MY BABY WITH YOUR MEATY PEASANT HANDS! 43 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,163 HOW FAR HAVE YOU GONE? TELL ME. TELL ME THE TRUTH. 44 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,369 I TOLD YOU. WE MADE OUT ONCE. 45 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,731 YEAH, BUT NOT SINCE THE AGREEMENT, RIGHT? 46 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,099 NOT SINCE, RIGHT? 47 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:43,398 (sighs) WE'RE DATING. I'VE KISSED HER. 48 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:46,571 YOU KISSED HER WHERE? ON HER FACE? 49 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,710 ON HER MOUTH? INSIDE HER MOUTH? 50 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,236 DID YOU KISS HER INSIDE HER MOUTH, GEORGE? 51 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,851 DAMN IT! TELL ME. I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW. 52 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,423 NOAH, YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND. PLEASE RELAX. 53 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:58,053 I DIDN'T WANT IT TO COME TO THIS, BUT IT HAS. 54 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,718 THINGS HAVE GOTTEN BLURRY, TOO BLURRY. 55 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:03,357 (sniffles) IT'S TIME THAT WE PROPERLY DEFINED THEM. 56 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,864 ARE YOU SERIOUS? A CONTRACT? (chuckles) 57 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,427 OKAY, THIS-- THIS IS CRAZY, MAN. 58 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,956 NO. YOU'RE CRAZY, MAN. 59 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:14,401 WHO DATES A WOMAN FULL OF BLOOD AND MUCUS AND BABY BONES? 60 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,468 LOOK, IT'S EVERYTHING YOU AGREED TO WHEN WE SHOOK. 61 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,637 THIS IS JUST RESHAKING, BUT WITH A PEN. 62 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,078 WELL, I'M A NOTARY. YOU KNOW I'M A NOTARY. 63 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,777 I DIDN'T KNOW. 64 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,521 HELLO, SHEILA. 65 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,763 AS A CONCERNED NEIGHBOR, I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY 66 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:45,799 TO WARN YOU ABOUT THE PITFALLS OF SURROGACY. 67 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,596 THAT WOMAN IS A TOXIC SPILL 68 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,308 POLLUTING THE PRISTINE WATERS OF YOUR FAMILIAL LOVE. 69 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,712 (turns off faucet) TRUST ME, JILL. 70 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,783 I AM SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE HERE. 71 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:58,012 ONCE SHE PASSES THAT PLACENTA, HER HORMONES WILL PLUMMET, 72 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,208 AND SO WILL HER SANITY. 73 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,350 HER SOLE FOCUS WILL BECOME 74 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,284 STEALING YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR BABY, OR BOTH. 75 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,251 SHE'S PROBABLY FANTASIZING 76 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,258 ABOUT PUSHING YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS RIGHT NOW. 77 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,661 ALWAYS A PLEASURE, SHEILA. 78 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,832 (toilet flushes in distance) 79 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,327 THANK YOU, DEAR. 80 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,804 Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc. 81 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:29,011 (Alih Jay) * LAST NIGHT I HAD A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE * 82 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:33,176 * DA-DA-DA-DA, DA, DA, DA, DA * 83 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,347 IT'S SO CUTE, 84 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,486 AND CHEF ALAN IS A CHEF, SO IT'S PERFECT! 85 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,422 OF COURSE IT'S PERFECT. 86 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,058 IT'S AS IF SOMEONE WITH CRYSTAL EYES 87 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,022 LOOKED INTO YOUR HEART 88 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,830 AND CRYSTALLIZED YOUR LOVE FOR HIM. 89 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,663 PRICEY, THOUGH. 90 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,457 LOOK, IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA PRESSURE YOU 91 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:52,729 INTO BUYING THIS 35-POUND CRYSTAL CHEF'S HAT, I'M NOT. 92 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:53,830 YOU'RE NOT? 93 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,201 OF COURSE NOT. 94 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:58,439 THIS CRYSTAL WAS CLEARLY MADE FOR CHEF ALAN. 95 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:02,106 IF YOU DON'T BUY IT, I'M SURE SOMEBODY ELSE WILL. 96 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,305 IT WOULD BE A SHAME FOR THAT OTHER PERSON 97 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,907 TO SOAK UP ALL THAT GLORY... 98 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,278 I'LL TAKE IT! 99 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:10,317 SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET LUCKY TONIGHT. 100 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,494 GIRL, YOU ARE AMAZING. 101 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,563 NO ONE PUSHES CRYSTAL ROCK LIKE YOU. 102 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,462 I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT'S A RUSH. 103 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,685 I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE GOOD AT THIS SORT OF THING, 104 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,900 AND I AM LOVING MY NEW DISPOSABLE INCOME. 105 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,334 LET ME TELL YOU, AS A NEWLY INDEPENDENT WOMAN, 106 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,100 EARNING YOUR OWN MONEY IS LIKE 107 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:30,068 ICING ON THE CAKE OF LIBERATION! 108 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:34,307 DALLAS, I THINK IT'S REALLY AWESOME, WHAT YOU DID. 109 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,105 INSTEAD OF GETTING DEPRESSED ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE, 110 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,246 YOU DECIDED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, 111 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:41,252 AND... NOW LOOK. 112 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,645 YOU'RE A HUGE SUCCESS. 113 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,916 WE'RE A HUGE SUCCESS. 114 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,760 "TESSA ALTMAN. 115 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,234 ULTIMATE SALES MANAGER GRAND SUPREME." 116 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,333 I MADE UP THAT TITLE MYSELF. 117 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,196 THANK YOU, TESSA. 118 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,634 THANK YOU, DALLAS. (door bells jingle) 119 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,940 (growls) GREAT TO SEE YOU, HANSON. 120 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,702 YOU'RE LOOKING WELL. 121 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,841 (growls) 122 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,236 AND, TESSA... 123 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,737 ALONG WITH YOUR NEW PROMOTION COMES 124 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,849 A NEW CRYSTAL-ENCRUSTED CRYSTAL CUP OF CRYSTALS UNIFORM! 125 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,353 (gasps) 126 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,345 IS THAT A-- 127 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,846 A CHIFFON WRISTLET! 128 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,418 THANKS, DALLAS. IT'S AMAZING. 129 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,459 YOU'RE AMAZING. 130 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,533 I CAN SEE YOU FOLLOWING IN MY FOOTSTEPS SOMEDAY. 131 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,933 GEORGE MUST BE SO PROUD OF HOW HARD YOU'RE WORKING. 132 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,196 HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T SEEN MUCH OF MY DAD LATELY. 133 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:33,665 OH, NO? 134 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,704 IN FACT, GEORGE'S ROMANCE WITH EDEN... HEY. 135 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,639 HI. WAS ENTERING ITS SECOND TRIMESTER, 136 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:39,865 AND I STILL HADN'T EVEN MET THE WOMAN. 137 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,410 YOU KNOW, IF ALL THESE PEOPLE PLANTED 138 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,675 VEGETABLES INSTEAD OF GRASS, 139 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,883 THEY COULD PUT A HUGE DENT IN THE WORLD'S HUNGER CRISIS. 140 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,516 YOU--THAT--THAT--THAT IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU. 141 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,882 I SEE A DUDE WATERING HIS LAWN, 142 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:53,820 AND YOU SEE AN OPPORTUNITY TO HEAL THE WORLD. 143 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,887 I CAN'T WAIT FOR TESSA TO MEET YOU. 144 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,257 OOH! YOU ALL RIGHT? 145 00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,255 OH, MAN. (chuckles) 146 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,326 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. YOU OKAY? 147 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:01,804 OH. YOU WANT TO FEEL THE BABY KICK? 148 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,002 OH. NO. I SHOULDN'T FEEL ANYTHING. 149 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,295 (clicks tongue) 150 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,096 OH. WAS THAT... 151 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,869 (laughs) 152 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,138 COOL. YEAH. I FELT IT. 153 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,076 YOU WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING ELSE? 154 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,043 BABY BONES! 155 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,750 OH. 156 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:19,612 WHAT? 157 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,550 IS EVERYTHING OKAY, GEORGE? MM-HMM. 158 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,575 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU PULL AWAY EVERY TIME I TRY 159 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:24,851 TO GET INTIMATE WITH YOU. WELL, YES, 160 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,648 BUT THAT'S USUALLY ONLY WHEN I HAVE TO GO NUMBER TWO. 161 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,434 OH. 162 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,892 (clears throat) 163 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,700 THAT IS INTIMATE. 164 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:38,532 LOOK, UNTIL YOU'VE BATHED IN A SOLID CRYSTAL BATHTUB, 165 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,969 YOU HAVEN'T BATHED AT ALL. 166 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:40,673 HI. I-- 167 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,604 IT IS ONE OF THOSE OVER-THE-TOP INDULGENCES 168 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:46,440 THAT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY, LIKE AN ARMORED VEHICLE. 169 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,477 JUST... THINK ABOUT IT. 170 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:51,182 I HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS WAITING. 171 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,414 (sighs) YOU MUST BE-- 172 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,580 EDEN. HI. TESSA ALTMAN-- 173 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,218 ULTIMATE SALES MANAGER GRAND SUPREME. 174 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,754 EDEN, DID YOU MEET... 175 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,249 THE PERSON WHO USED TO BE MY DAUGHTER? (chuckles) 176 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,321 TESSA, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 177 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:07,190 I GOT PROMOTED. SEE? 178 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,900 OKAY. WOW. REALLY? 179 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,933 MM-HMM. IS THAT WHAT ALL THESE BOXES ARE ABOUT? 180 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:15,139 KIND OF. DALLAS SAID I NEEDED TO STEP UP MY IMAGE 181 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,972 IN ORDER TO INVITE SUCCESS. 182 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,007 IF I SHOWED UP TO WORK LOOKING LIKE YOU, GEORGE, 183 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,412 PEOPLE WOULD THINK I WAS THERE TO CLEAN THE FLOORS, 184 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:24,175 WHICH I'M NOT... (chuckles) EXCEPT FOR WHEN WE'RE CLOSED. 185 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,014 WHOA. 186 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,779 THIS PURSE COST MORE THAN EVERY ARTICLE OF CLOTHING 187 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,019 I HAVE EVER OWNED... COMBINED. 188 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,924 I GUESS, ECONOMICALLY, 189 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,757 YOU AND I ARE IN DIFFERENT PLACES, GEORGE. 190 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,064 HMM. IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU. 191 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:39,986 (Bluetooth rings) 192 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,700 GO FOR TESSA. YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND? 193 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,373 NO, IT'S STILL AVAILABLE. WE NEED A 10% DEPOSIT. 194 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:46,572 I BRIEFLY TAKE MY EYE OFF THE BALL, 195 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,444 AND SHE TURNS INTO IMELDA MARCOS. (sighs) 196 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,102 OH, SHE SEEMED GREAT. 197 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,470 WHAT? SHE SEEMED AWFUL. 198 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:52,969 THE HAIR AND THE NAILS AND THE SHOPPING-- 199 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,310 THAT IS NOT TESSA. 200 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,614 I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARD ON HER. 201 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,776 IT SOUNDS LIKE HER FRIEND DALLAS 202 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,505 IS THE ONE PUSHING HER INTO THIS, 203 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:00,850 AND THAT'S HOW TEENAGERS ARE. 204 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,254 OH, DALLAS IS NO TEENAGER, THOUGH. 205 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,586 NO, SHE'S A FULL-GROWN WOMAN. 206 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,892 (chuckles) FULL-GROWN! 207 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,593 OH. WELL, IT'S VERY NORMAL FOR GIRLS TO PATTERN THEMSELVES 208 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,457 AFTER THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES. 209 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,955 SOUNDS LIKE DALLAS IS HER PRIMARY INFLUENCE. 210 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,927 WELL, THAT'S KINDA WHY I WANTED HER TO MEET YOU. 211 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,897 OHH. 212 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,774 DERNK! (clears throat) 213 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:26,712 (under breath) "DERNK"? 214 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:34,013 "I'M SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE"-- 215 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,121 THAT'S WHAT SHEILA SHAY SAID WHEN I OVERHEARD HER TALKING 216 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:37,954 IN THE BATHROOM, 217 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,648 AND THAT SENTENCE JUST KEPT GNAWING AT ME. 218 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:41,791 I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING TO IT. 219 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,385 THERE HAD TO BE, SO I WENT THROUGH EVERY BOX 220 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,527 IN THE GARAGE, UNTIL I FOUND THIS. 221 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,457 "HOMELAND ADOPTION"? 222 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,731 EXACTLY. 223 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,870 UH, I DON'T GET IT. 224 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,074 WHY IS THE WOMAN I CALL "MOTHER" DRIVEN INTO HYSTERICS 225 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,706 BECAUSE SOMEONE'S USING A SURROGATE? 226 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:58,741 (chuckles) SHE'S DRIVEN INTO HYSTERICS 227 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,906 OVER PEOPLE NOT PUTTING ROSEMARY IN THEIR CHICKEN SALAD, 228 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,844 WHICH IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD. (chuckles) 229 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,240 SHE'S FIXATED ON THE IDEA 230 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,451 THAT SOMEONE CAN LAY CLAIM TO SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY, 231 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:08,824 AND WHY? 232 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:14,349 BECAUSE I'M ADOPTED, 233 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,361 AND AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, 234 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,032 MY REAL MOTHER HAS BEEN OUT THERE LOOKING FOR ME. 235 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,991 SEEMS A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED, IF YOU ASK ME. 236 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,230 MY REAL MOTHER COULD BE TORI AMOS. 237 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,655 NO. 238 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,331 EDIE BRICKELL. 239 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,768 HAVE YOU SEEN MY FART JOKE BOOK? 240 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,204 I GOT A BIG PHONE CALL COMING UP, 241 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,138 AND I NEED TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT A FART. 242 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:33,043 GET OUT OF MY ROOM. 243 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,451 (knock on door) 244 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:40,812 HEY. YOU GOT A SEC? 245 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:41,751 SURE. WHAT'S UP? 246 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:42,775 WELL, I FEEL LIKE IT'S BEEN AGES 247 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,580 SINCE WE HAD A CHANCE TO TALK ONE-ON-ONE. 248 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,522 CUT THE CUTICLES OR JUST PUSH BACK? 249 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,256 JUST PUSH BACK, PLEASE. OKAY. 250 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:52,161 COSTS MORE FOR THE HOME VISITS, BUT IT IS WORTH IT. 251 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,155 IBIZA'S EXCELLENT. 252 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,556 THANK YOU. YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SAVE MONEY, RIGHT? 253 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,429 IT DOESN'T EXPIRE. 254 00:09:56,496 --> 00:10:01,666 IT'S FOR WORK. DALLAS SAYS, "OUR NAILS ARE NOT JUST NAILS. 255 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,835 THEY ARE CRYSTAL DISPLAY STICKS." 256 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,474 ARE YOU SURE THAT WASN'T IMELDA MARCOS? 257 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:06,208 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 258 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,843 IT TURNS OUT THERE'S A FELLINI FESTIVAL 259 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,538 A COUPLE TOWNS OVER-- STARTS NEXT TUESDAY. 260 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,879 I WAS THINKING THE THREE OF US COULD GO. 261 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,654 UH, I'M NOT SURE IBIZA LIKES FELLINI. 262 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,584 TOO QUIRKY FOR THE SAKE OF BEING QUIRKY. 263 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,779 I MEANT YOU, ME, AND EDEN. 264 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,220 OH! (chuckles) WHAT DAY WERE YOU THINKING? 265 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,646 ANY DAY. OHH. 266 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,061 ANY DAY IS TOUGH FOR ME. I WORK AFTER SCHOOL. 267 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,123 WELL, COULDN'T YOU TAKE A DAY OFF? 268 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,661 IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE YOU AND I HAVE SEEN 269 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,726 A FELLINI MOVIE TOGETHER. 270 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,434 OH, THAT IS GREAT, IBIZA. 271 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,825 FLESHY NUDE? YEAH. THANKS. 272 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,068 LOOK, I DON'T--I DON'T HAVE MY CALENDAR WITH ME. 273 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,003 HOW ABOUT YOU LEAVE ME A VOICE MAIL WITH THE DETAILS? 274 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,369 I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE JUNE WORK. YEAH. 275 00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,568 JULY AT THE LATEST. 276 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,140 TESSA IS DOING SUCH AN AMAZING JOB. 277 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,610 I JUST WISH SOME OF HER WORK ETHIC 278 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,778 WOULD RUB OFF ON DALIA. 279 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,247 UH, OH, WELL... (chuckles) 280 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,375 THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 281 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,590 SEE, I'M WORRIED TESSA MAY BE WORKING TOO HARD. 282 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,022 (gasps) OH, MY GOSH. 283 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,887 HAS SHE FALLEN BEHIND ON HER STUDIES? 284 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,786 NO. DOES SHE SEEM PHYSICALLY STRESSED 285 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,328 OR MENTALLY EXHAUSTED? 286 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,862 WELL, NO, NOT REALLY. 287 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,258 I JUST THINK TESSA IS GETTING 288 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,999 A LITTLE WRAPPED UP IN THE WHOLE CRYSTAL BUSINESS. 289 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,196 WELL, YES, SHE MOST CERTAINLY IS. 290 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,198 SHE'S A LITTLE CRYSTAL SUPERSTAR. 291 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,870 YEAH, BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE'S MISSING OUT 292 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,939 ON THE OPPORTUNITY TO CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT 293 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,577 AREN'T MADE OF CRYSTAL... (chuckles) 294 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:18,814 AND TO GET TO KNOW EDEN. 295 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,819 (gasps) EDEN. I SEE. 296 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,052 WELL, GEORGE, THIS MAY BE NONE OF MY BEESWAX, 297 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,617 BUT I'M GONNA SHARE A LITTLE ADVICE 298 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,815 THAT DALIA'S SHRINK GAVE ME-- 299 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,758 "LOVERS COME AND GO, SO IT'S BEST NOT 300 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:30,963 "TO BRING 'EM AROUND YOUR KINDER 301 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,694 UNTIL YOU'RE KINDA SURE YOU'RE KINDRED." 302 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,798 WELL, THAT'S THE THING, DALLAS. 303 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,433 I-I THINK EDEN AND I MAY BE KINDRED. 304 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,439 I MEAN, I HOPE WE ARE. 305 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,712 WOW. 306 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:49,144 I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU TWO WERE SO SERIOUS. 307 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,378 WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC, GEORGE. 308 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,146 SO... YOU'LL HELP? 309 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,945 WELL, OF COURSE I WILL. (chuckles) 310 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,287 I WOULDN'T WANT MY BUSINESS STANDING IN THE WAY 311 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:00,752 OF YOUR BLISSNESS. 312 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:05,531 (chuckles) RIGHT. WELL, THANK YOU, DALLAS. 313 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,002 MOMMY, YOUR Wi-Fi SUCKS. 314 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,301 I KNOW IT DOES, HONEY. 315 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,146 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 316 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,815 FAMILY SECRETS. 317 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,193 THEY KEEP THOSE IN THE POTTING SHED. 318 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:39,325 (door creaking) 319 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,403 (creaks) 320 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,773 (creaks) 321 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,515 GOTCHA. 322 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,616 I FEEL SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE 323 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,990 HAVING MY PREGNANCY PORTRAIT DONE 324 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,289 NOW THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY PREGNANT. 325 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,701 MY PREGNANCY PORTRAIT FROM LAST TIME LOOKED SO-- 326 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:20,173 FAT. YEAH. NO, I SEE IT. 327 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,103 NO, TH-THIS PREGNANCY HAS BEEN KIND TO YOU. 328 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,539 I GOTTA SAY THAT. YOU LOOK FABULOUS. 329 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,314 I FEEL SENSATIONAL. 330 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,938 THANKS AGAIN, MRS. SHAY, 331 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,880 FOR INSISTING ON CARRYING MY PRODUCE. 332 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,505 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT LIFTING THINGS 333 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,281 WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT-- DON'T. (laughs) 334 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,019 (chuckles) (Noah) EDEN'S HOME! 335 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,415 (claps hands) JUST IN TIME. 336 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,687 (chuckles) 337 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,094 THAT WAS AN AWFULLY WARM WELCOME. 338 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,427 DO YOU WANT MY BELLY IN THE PORTRAIT? 339 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,763 NO! NO. NO, NO, NO. 340 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,427 (chuckles) I WANT TO WORK ON SOME EARLY LANGUAGE TECHNIQUES 341 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,067 WITH THE FETUS. (raised voice) HELLO, FETUS! 342 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,772 (normal voice) IT'S DR. NOAH WERNER... OHH. 343 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,943 A.K.A. YOUR DAD. 344 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,042 WHOA. (chuckles) 345 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,373 UH, IF YOU'VE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION IN THERE, 346 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,407 YOU KNOW THAT CHINA IS THE LARGEST HOLDER OF U.S. DEBT, 347 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,583 SO I THINK IT'S PRUDENT THAT YOU LEARN A LITTLE MANDARIN. 348 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,913 (raised voice) "NI HAO"! 349 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,248 NOAH, YOUR BABY DOESN'T EVEN HAVE EYELASHES YET. 350 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,254 I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA LEARN CHINESE. 351 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,676 IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO BE HELPFUL, 352 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,920 YOU'D GIVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE. 353 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,615 CARRYING YOUR BABY AROUND IS KILLER ON THE ARCHES. 354 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,517 REALLY? I'M SURPRISED. 355 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,958 THOSE LESBIAN CLOGS LOOK COMFORTABLE, IF NOTHING ELSE. 356 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,655 SO, EDEN, HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH GEORGE ALTMAN? 357 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:23,327 GOOD, I THINK. HE GOT TO FEEL THE BABY KICK THE OTHER DAY. 358 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,726 (strained voice) HE DID? THAT'S... (chuckles) 359 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:26,728 OHH. 360 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,199 (Eden) THAT'S GREAT, NOAH. MY. 361 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,968 SEEMS YOUR HUSBAND HAS NEARLY BROUGHT HER TO ECSTASY. 362 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,968 I DON'T KNOW IF I'D SAY THAT, 363 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,840 BUT IT IS A DARN GOOD FOOT MASSAGE. 364 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,109 I GOTTA SCOOT, THOUGH. 365 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,847 GEORGE AND I ARE TAKING TESSA TO A MOVIE. 366 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,952 NO. NO, NO, NO. NOT TODAY YOU'RE NOT. 367 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,824 UH, WE HAVE THE ULTRASOUND SCHEDULED. 368 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,952 THAT'S NOT TILL NEXT WEEK. 369 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:44,677 WE MOVED IT UP. 370 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,751 OUR NUMEROLOGIST NEEDS TO KNOW THE SEX OF THE BABY 371 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,159 SO HE CAN GET STARTED ON NAMES. 372 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,661 I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME. 373 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,733 I'M TELLING YOU NOW. 374 00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:54,893 OH. 375 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,202 NEXT TIME, GEORGE, I'D APPRECIATE IT 376 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,933 IF YOU LET ME SCHEDULE MY OWN DAYS OFF. 377 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,528 WELL, FELLINI WAITS FOR NO MAN. 378 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,399 TRUST ME, TESSA. 379 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,437 THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. (cell phone rings) 380 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,272 HEY, EDEN. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. 381 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,307 I'M SORRY. I CAN'T GO. 382 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,783 Jill moved the ultrasound without telling me. 383 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,241 (Jill) I'm telling you now! 384 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,950 BUMMER. WELL, I-I GUESS-- 385 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,452 I GUESS THEY CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT YOU, HUH? 386 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,353 (chuckles) Believe me, I wish they could. 387 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,445 (lowered voice) George, they're acting really weird. 388 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,417 Jill's all uptight, 389 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,215 and I don't even know what's going on with Noah. 390 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,857 Every time I mention your name, he tweaks out. 391 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,192 (Noah) Is that George?! 392 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,257 OKAY, OK-- YOU KNOW WHAT? 393 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:28,695 MAYBE TESSA AND I SHOULD COME WITH YOU FOR MORAL SUPPORT. 394 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,131 REALLY? YOU GUYS WOULD DO THAT? 395 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:35,138 OF COURSE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. W-WE'LL SEE YOU THERE. 396 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,542 NOW I'M JUST MISSING WORK TO GO WATCH YOUR GIRLFRIEND 397 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,474 GET HER BABY CHECKED? 398 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,838 IT'LL BE BETTER THAN FELLINI. 399 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,376 IT'LL BE FELLINIESQUE. (chuckles) 400 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,113 HELLO. WE'RE FRED AND SHEILA SHAY, 401 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,949 AND WE WOULD LOVE TO WELCOME ANOTHER SPECIAL LIFE... 402 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:49,916 (voice breaks) INTO OUR HOME. 403 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,453 (under breath) KEEP IT TOGETHER, FRED. 404 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,548 (normal voice) WE LOVE TO TRAVEL. 405 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,020 UH, YEAH, WE JUST WENT... (voice breaks) TO COSTA RICA. 406 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,759 WE LOVE WATERSKIING, 407 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:01,134 UM, AND WE HAVE A CHR-- A STRONG CHRISTIAN FAITH. 408 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,434 UH, WE'VE GOT SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE. 409 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,096 YEAH. (voice breaking) SO MANY BLESSINGS TO SHARE. 410 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,796 WON'T YOU PLEASE CONSIDER US? 411 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,297 OHH. NOW YOU'VE GOT ME GOING. 412 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,439 (chuckles) 413 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,373 (Lisa) DISGUSTING. 414 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,938 OKAY, IT'S WEIRD. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT, 415 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,206 BUT IT'S INCONCLUSIVE. 416 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,614 MALIK, THEY TRICKED SOME POOR ACOUSTIC SONGSTRESS 417 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:21,377 WITH NATURALLY CURLY HAIR INTO GIVING ME UP... 418 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,778 WITH LIES. 419 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:23,919 THEY DON'T WATER-SKI. 420 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,253 LISA, EVEN IF YOU ARE ADOPTED, 421 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,718 HOW IS THAT GONNA CHANGE ANYTHING? 422 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,416 YOU'RE A SHAY NOW. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. 423 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,188 (scoffs) THAT IS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS. 424 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,287 IF I'M NOT BIOLOGICALLY RELATED TO MY FAMILY, 425 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,629 THEN THERE'S STILL HOPE. 426 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,963 I CAN GROW UP TO BE ANYONE. 427 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:38,999 HEY. AREN'T WE GONNA MAKE OUT? 428 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,496 MALIK, I'M OBVIOUSLY GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF RIGHT NOW. 429 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,268 JUST HANDLE YOUR OWN BUSINESS, OKAY? 430 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:48,737 (siren wailing in distance) 431 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,408 WOW. I'VE NEVER HAD AN AUDIENCE THIS BIG BEFORE. (chuckles) 432 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,107 WELL, SOME OF US ARE HAVING A HARD TIME RESPECTING 433 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,209 OTHER PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES. 434 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,710 I COULDN'T AGREE MORE. 435 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,051 OH, THAT--THAT IS HILARIOUS, COMING FROM YOU. 436 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,147 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 437 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,418 YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN. 438 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,116 TESSA, IF YOU KEEP LOOKING AT THE MONITOR, 439 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,288 YOU'LL SEE THE BABY IN A MINUTE. 440 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,585 WOULD SOMEONE LIKE TO SPREAD THE JELLY? 441 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,126 OH, I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT. 442 00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,362 HE WANTS TO TOUCH HER BARE TUMMY. 443 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,656 NOAH, DON'T TOUCH HER BARE TUMMY. 444 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,257 WHY DOES HE GET TO DO IT? IT'S MY BABY IN THERE. 445 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,300 IT'S FINE. I-I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT MYSELF. 446 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,165 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 447 00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,235 (whispers) SORRY. 448 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:17,643 (squirts) (inhales sharply) 449 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,344 IS THAT COLD? 450 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,235 (George and Eden chuckle) 451 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:23,137 CAN YOU TALK A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE ADVANTAGE OF MAINTAINING 452 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,550 A HEALTHY SEX LIFE DURING PREGNANCY? 453 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,982 I THINK IT MIGHT PUT SOMEONE'S MIND AT EASE. 454 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,077 MY MIND? IS SHE TALKING ABOUT MY MIND? 455 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,390 I DOUBT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT YOUR MIND, NOAH. 456 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,152 I'M TALKING ABOUT GEORGE'S MIND. (chuckles) 457 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,091 THAT'S WHAT THE "DERNK" WAS ABOUT, WASN'T IT? 458 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,556 SWEETHEART, UH, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? 459 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,094 THERE WAS A DERNK? YOU DERNKED HER? 460 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,629 ANYONE WANT ANYTHING FROM THE VENDING MACHINE? 461 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:41,863 OH, I'LL TAKE A GUMMY ANYTHING. 462 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,528 I'M GONNA GET SOMETHING REALLY LOUD AND CRUNCHY 463 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,996 SO I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK. 464 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,334 A LOT OF FATHERS ARE CONCERNED 465 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,669 ABOUT SEX DURING PREGNANCY... 466 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,204 OH, NO. I'M NOT--I'M NOT-- I'M NOT CONCERNED. 467 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,469 HE'S NOT THE FATHER! 468 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:53,507 BUT, TRUTHFULLY, IT'S FANTASTIC FOR THE BABY. 469 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,283 IT STRENGTHENS THE PELVIC FLOOR, 470 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,142 INCREASES BLOOD FLOW TO THE UTERUS, 471 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,050 AND AT THE HEIGHT OF THE SEXUAL RESPONSE CYCLE, 472 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,512 IT'S LIKE A FUN LITTLE ROLLER COASTER RIDE 473 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,680 FOR THE BABY. I WOULDN'T PUT MY BABY ON A ROLLER COASTER. 474 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,219 WHY ARE YOU HERE? SHE'S RIGHT. I DON'T WANT MY BABY 475 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,645 ON A ROLLER COASTER. IT'S DANGEROUS. 476 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,689 YOUR BABY HAS NOT BEEN ON A ROLLER COASTER, OKAY? 477 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,585 HE'D BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN, BECAUSE WE HAVE A CONTRACT... (sighs) 478 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,727 AND IF THERE IS A BREACH... THE BABY'S NOT IN BREECH. 479 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:13,632 I WILL TAKE YOUR CAR! 480 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,463 A CONTRACT? WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 481 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,198 I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE BEHAVING, NOAH. 482 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,904 IT'S LIKE HE'S OBSESSED WITH EDEN. 483 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,195 WHY ARE YOU HERE? 484 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,967 THIS CONTRACT WAS NOT MY IDEA. 485 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,205 SO THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO BE INTIMATE WITH ME, 486 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,672 BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NOAH? 487 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,480 WHO DOES THAT?! 488 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,611 EXCUSE ME. I-I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT, 489 00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,176 BUT I THINK ALL THE FIGHTING IS STRESSING OUT THE BABY. 490 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,405 I'M NOT SURE IF YOU GUYS CAN TELL, 491 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,420 BUT HE'S COVERING HIS LITTLE EARS. 492 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,222 (George, Sheila, Jill, and Noah) OH. 493 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:38,493 (whispers) OHH. 494 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,162 THIS IS INSANE. A CRAZY PERSON WROTE THIS. 495 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,425 I KNOW. I KNOW, BUT WHEN NOAH WANTS SOMETHING, 496 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,604 HE CAN BE VERY INTENSE. 497 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,631 (chuckles) YEAH. I'VE SEEN THAT FIRSTHAND. 498 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,327 I WAS JUST--I WAS TRYING TO PRESERVE OUR FRIENDSHIP, 499 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:53,969 BUT AFTER TODAY, I DON'T CARE. 500 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:57,003 ALL I CARE ABOUT IS BEING WITH YOU. 501 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,639 GEORGE, I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS. 502 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:03,476 THAT ULTRASOUND IMAGE WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER. 503 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,583 MY ONLY JOB IS TO MAKE SURE 504 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,315 THAT THIS BABY HAS A HEALTHY AND HAPPY GESTATION, 505 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,081 AND... I FAILED. 506 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,820 YOU DIDN'T FAIL. 507 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:15,815 NO, I-I MEAN, IT'S NOT ME. 508 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,458 IT'S THEM. 509 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:21,664 I CAN'T STAY HERE, NOT AFTER WHAT I SAW TODAY. 510 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:25,368 THIS HOUSE IS TOXIC, AND FOR THE GOOD OF THE BABY 511 00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:27,472 AND MY OWN SANITY, 512 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,674 I'VE GOTTA GO BACK TO MONTANA. 513 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,238 EDEN, I'M SORRY, 514 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,476 BUT I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN. 515 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:39,708 BUT I LIKE WORKING HERE, 516 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,849 AND I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. (whispers) OHH. 517 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,724 (normal voice) I LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, TOO, 518 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,723 BUT IT'LL BE PART-TIME, NOT FULL-TIME. 519 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,086 TESSA, NOTHING'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY, 520 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,555 AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURS, 521 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,134 AND FROM THE SOUND OF THINGS, 522 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,502 THAT MIGHT INCLUDE EDEN NOW, TOO. 523 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,902 DAD CAN'T DICTATE WHO MY FAMILY IS. 524 00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,804 I'M HAPPY FOR HIM AND ALL, BUT I HARDLY KNOW EDEN. 525 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,567 SHE'S JUST A-- 526 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,804 PREGNANT VAGABOND? (whispers) OHH. 527 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,010 (normal voice) TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GONNA SAY THAT. 528 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,883 (water runs, faucet turns off) 529 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,681 (door closes) 530 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,153 WELL, DALLAS OFFICIALLY CUT MY HOURS BACK. 531 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,112 HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. 532 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,221 I'M NOT. 533 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,823 I-I-I WENT ABOUT IT THE WRONG WAY, 534 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:18,924 AND I'M SORRY, TESSA, 535 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:21,015 BUT I DIDN'T LIKE WHAT THAT MONEY WAS DOING TO YOU, 536 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:24,587 AND--AND I WANT US TO HAVE MORE FAMILY TIME AT HOME. 537 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,927 YEAH? 538 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,862 I REALLY, REALLY HOPE THE MOTIVATION BEHIND THIS 539 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,628 ISN'T FORCING ME TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND, 540 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,067 'CAUSE... (scoffs) THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 541 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,272 (doorbell rings) 542 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:38,335 (sighs) 543 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,035 WELL, THAT'S THE THING, TESSA. 544 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,277 IT KINDA IS. 545 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,905 NO, I-- I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 546 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,450 YOU GOT IT? YEAH. (chuckles) 547 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,646 (chuckles) HERE WE GO. 548 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:51,777 OH. HI. 549 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:52,991 (George) IT'S JUST TEMPORARY. 550 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:55,522 WE'RE NOT "OFFICIALLY" MOVING IN TOGETHER. 551 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:59,088 I WANTED TO DISCUSS IT WITH YOU, BUT THERE JUST WASN'T TIME. 552 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,028 COME ON, TESSA. DON'T BE MAD. 553 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,633 THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP IS A STRANGE ONE. 554 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,256 YOU GROW UP THINKING THEY'RE SUPERHEROES 555 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,072 WHO CAN DO NO WRONG, 556 00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:09,403 BUT THEN ONE DAY THE CAPE COMES OFF 557 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,399 AND YOU SEE THEM FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE, 558 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,011 AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE... 559 00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,372 (snoring) 560 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,511 TOUGH LUCK. 561 00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,205 YOU'RE STUCK TOGETHER. 562 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:22,076 WHY? BECAUSE YOU'RE FAMILY. 563 00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:24,318 UNLESS, OF COURSE... 564 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,693 YOU'RE NOT. 565 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,493 (door creaks and closes) 39479

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