Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,772
(Tessa)
WINTER, SPRING, SUMMER, FALL--
2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,744
I WAS FAMILIAR
WITH ALL FOUR SEASONS,
3
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,613
SO YOU CAN IMAGINE
HOW SURPRISED
4
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:11,181
I WAS TO LEARN THAT CHATSWIN
HAD ONE MORE SEASON...
5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,252
CROQUET.
6
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,450
(clatters)
7
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:16,653
(man) * LET'S GO
8
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:21,791
* LET'S GO, LET'S GO
9
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:27,564
TECHNIQUE WAS IMPORTANT,
10
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:30,495
BUT SO WAS CHEMISTRY
BETWEEN PARTNERS.
11
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,601
HEY, Y'ALL.
THIS IS SVEN FROM ICELAND.
12
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,804
HE'S UNCIRCUMCISED.
13
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,166
(thud)
OW.
14
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,439
HAVING THE WRONG PARTNER COULD
REALLY THROW OFF THE GAME.
15
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,652
(Dallas laughs)
16
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:51,824
(sighs)
17
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,459
(gasps)
18
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,860
DO THEY HAVE CROQUET IN MEXICO?
19
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,732
OH, I'M FROM GUATEMALA.
20
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,332
CROQUET SEASON COINCIDED
WITH MATING SEASON,
21
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:07,195
AND DALLAS SEEMED TO BE
ENJOYING HER NEWLY SINGLE LIFE,
22
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,895
EVEN IF IT WAS RAISING
A FEW EYEBROWS.
23
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,096
(Dallas chuckles)
24
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,168
(whispers)
THAT'S A WOMAN.
25
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,565
I CAN SEE THAT, FRED.
26
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:13,566
(Dallas giggles)
27
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:20,310
MEANWHILE, A NEW WOMAN HAD JUST
ENTERED MY LIFE AS WELL.
28
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,118
(Anya Marina)
* SEMESTER IS OUT
29
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,680
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH
30
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,417
* THE TEACHER IS IN
31
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,223
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH
32
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:27,785
* THERE AIN'T NO EXAMS
33
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,461
(Tessa) COOL.
34
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,290
* YOU BETTER BET
YOU'RE GONNA LEARN SOMETHING *
35
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,126
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH
36
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:38,403
* OH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
37
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,502
* OH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH
38
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,844
OKAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS ONE?
39
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,741
I THINK IT'S WEIRD THAT
YOU'VE TRIED ON THREE OUTFITS
40
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:46,813
FOR A POETRY CLASS.
41
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,310
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T
GET IT, GEORGE.
42
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,482
MS. EVANS IS SUPER COOL.
I HAVE TO LOOK COOL,
43
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,181
OR SHE WON'T REALIZE
HOW COOL I AM.
44
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,913
YOU KNOW, IN MY DAY--
THE EARLY '90s--
45
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,417
COOLNESS WAS ABOUT
NOT TRYING TO LOOK COOL.
46
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,550
NIRVANA TAUGHT US THAT.
47
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,915
DON'T BE STUPID, GEORGE.
MS. EVANS IS FROM SAN FRANCISCO.
48
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,424
SHE HAS A SHOULDER TATTOO,
49
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,486
AND SHE ONCE MADE OUT
WITH CASEY AFFLECK.
50
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,925
I'M GONNA GO
TRY ON SOME CHUNKY GLASSES.
51
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,160
(doorbell rings)
52
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,428
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, GEORGE,
BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
53
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,526
IT'S ABOUT DALLAS.
54
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,497
THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT.
55
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,495
OH, MY GOD. IS SHE OKAY?
56
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,836
NO, SHE'S NOT.
57
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,910
QUITE FRANKLY,
SHE'S A HOT MESS.
58
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,509
SHE'S BEEN PARADING
A BUNCH OF TRAVELING MEN
59
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,411
AROUND THE CROQUET FIELD.
60
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:23,913
OKAY, THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE AN ACCIDENT.
61
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,284
IT'S A SOCIAL ACCIDENT.
62
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,653
PEOPLE ARE TALKING.
63
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,250
TO BE FAIR, IT'S MOSTLY US.
64
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,552
AND THAT'S USUALLY
HOW IT STARTS.
65
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,523
SHE'S BEEN ACTING LIKE
A REAL TRAMP.
66
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,222
AND THAT'S GONNA DRIVE DOWN
PROPERTY VALUES.
67
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,924
I DON'T SEE HOW IT COULD.
"TRAMP TOWN"?
68
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,685
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THERE.
I MIGHT PLAN A DAY TRIP...
69
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,464
GEORGE, DALLAS NEEDS HELP
70
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,292
AND STABILITY
AND A CROQUET PARTNER
71
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,428
WHO DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
HE HAS--
72
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,262
CRABS.
73
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,157
OKAY, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
74
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,998
IF DALLAS WOULD WANT ME
TO BE HER PARTNER.
75
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,603
THE LAST TIME I TRIED
TO GIVE HER PERSONAL ADVICE,
76
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,365
WE GOT INTO A FIGHT.
77
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,003
SHE'S A LITTLE SENSITIVE
POST-DIVORCE.
78
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,408
WELL, NO BETTER WAY
TO MEND HURT FEELINGS
79
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,811
THAN WITH A MALLET
AND SOME BALLS.
80
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,182
AMEN.
81
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,551
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
82
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:04,450
(Alih Jay) * LAST NIGHT I HAD
A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE *
83
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,455
* DA-DA-DA-DA,
DA, DA, DA, DA *
84
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:08,618
(door creaks)
85
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,556
SHEILA!
86
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:13,931
WE CLOSED EARLY FOR INVENTORY.
87
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,501
YOU HOME?
88
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,600
(singsongy) HELLO?
89
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,542
ANYBODY HOME?
90
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,869
(chuckles)
91
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:28,635
ALL RIGHT.
92
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:33,676
HANK MOODY, WHOSE BOOTY
SHALL WE PLUNDER TODAY?
93
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,454
DAMN IT!
94
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,623
OHH!
95
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,622
(remote control clatters)
96
00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:44,534
OHH.
97
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:48,598
WHERE IS THAT STUPID PASSWORD?
98
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,759
OH, REALLY?
99
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,873
(sighs)
100
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,272
(Sheila's voice) "I HAD
THE DREAM AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
101
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,505
I HAD JUST FINISHED
SCOLDING LISA..."
(doorbell rings)
102
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,840
"WHEN THE DOORBELL RANG..."
103
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,784
(door creaks)
"AND GEORGE WAS THERE.
104
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,480
"HE COMPLIMENTED
MY PARENTING SKILLS
105
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,782
"AND NOTICED HOW TIDY
THE HOUSE WAS.
106
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,084
"I WENT TO FIX HIM
A CUP OF TEA,
107
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,645
"AND WHEN I RETURNED,
108
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,353
"HE WAS COMPLETELY NUDE
AND COVERED IN OIL--
109
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,786
"NOT THE DIRTY, BLACK OIL,
110
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,332
"BUT THE SEXY, CLEAR KIND.
111
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,088
"HE STOOD THERE GLISTENING,
112
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,826
"AND THEN HE OPENED MY MOUTH
113
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,901
AND KISSED ME LIKE
A FRENCHMAN."
114
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:26,726
(sighs) AAH!
115
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,027
(book thuds)
116
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,267
(sighs)
117
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,480
MADE ME REALIZE WHAT I'D REALLY
BEEN MISSING IN CHATSWIN--
118
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,549
A ROLE MODEL, SOMEONE COOL
WHOSE STYLE AND TASTE
119
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,349
I COULD ACTUALLY LOOK UP TO.
120
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:43,621
YOU ALL DID A GREAT JOB ON
YOUR FIRST IN-CLASS ASSIGNMENT,
121
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,851
BUT I WANT TO SINGLE OUT
A SPECIAL STUDENT IN OUR MIDST.
122
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,687
IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF WE CAN REALLY CALL
123
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,362
THIS PERSON A "STUDENT,"
124
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:53,131
FOR I BELIEVE SHE'S HERE
TO TEACH US.
125
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,730
IT WASN'T LIKE ME TO SHOWBOAT,
126
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:57,532
BUT IT ALSO WASN'T LIKE ME
TO QUESTION THE JUDGMENT
127
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,565
OF SOMEONE
AS COOL AS MS. EVANS.
128
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,770
DALIA ROYCE,
WILL YOU DO US THE HONOR
129
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,543
OF READING YOUR POEM,
"AIDS FROWNY FACE,"
130
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:06,813
FOR THE CLASS?
131
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,540
DALIA ROYCE?
132
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:09,976
IS THAT BITCH HIGH?
133
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,350
(school bell rings)
134
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,848
MS. EVANS...
135
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,715
ARE YOU HIGH?
136
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,463
NEVER MIND.
137
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,589
I'M SUPER EXCITED
FOR THIS CLASS,
138
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:27,755
AND I... REALLY
LOVE POETRY.
139
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:31,695
THANKS, TESSA.
THAT'S A GREAT ATTITUDE.
140
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,502
(lowered voice)
POETRY LOVES YOU, TOO.
141
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,874
(gasps) GOOD.
142
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,543
(chuckles)
I WAS HOPING IT DID.
143
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,111
LOOK, I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW,
144
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:42,679
UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE
IN THIS TOWN, I GET IT.
145
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,480
(singsongy)
CHATSWIN IS SUPER WEIRD...
146
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,712
(normal voice)
AND KINDA SHALLOW,
147
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,446
AND IF YOU EVER NEED
SOMEONE TO STAND APART
148
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,722
AND OBSERVE
THE SHALLOW WEIRDNESS
149
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,521
WITH AN ACERBIC WIT,
150
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,394
I'M YOUR GIRL.
151
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:58,793
I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.
152
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,856
A 72?
153
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,664
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK
YOU CAN'T ASSIGN A NUMBER GRADE
154
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,527
TO SOMETHING AS SUBJECTIVE
AS A POEM,
155
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,137
BUT YOU CAN.
156
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,438
HUH.
157
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,670
DON'T BE SO HARD
ON YOURSELF.
158
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,414
WE CAN'T ALL BE DALIA ROYCE
RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.
159
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,041
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN
TEACHING POETRY
160
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,605
FOR 2 1/4 YEARS NOW,
161
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:21,005
AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE
QUITE LIKE HER BEFORE.
162
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,048
YEAH, SHE'S UNIQUE.
163
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,052
SHE'S ABLE TO MAKE
SMALL REVELATIONS SEEM COMPLEX.
164
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:29,155
HER VOICE HAS
A SORT OF DETACHED OPACITY.
165
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,219
OH, IS THAT WHAT IT HAS?
166
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,088
SOME OF THAT ACERBIC WIT
YOU WERE REFERRING TO?
167
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:35,056
NOT BAD, TESSA. NOT BAD.
168
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,525
I'D GIVE IT A 74.
169
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,695
I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING,
170
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:42,972
AND, YES,
YOU CAN ALSO GRADE WIT.
171
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:43,573
THANKS.
172
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,774
MM-HMM.
173
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,011
(indistinct conversations)
174
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,042
I HEARD THIS GROUP WAS LOOKING
FOR A FOURTH.
175
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,178
REALLY, SHEILA?
176
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,682
GEORGE ALTMAN? THAT'S WHO YOU
WANTED TO SET ME UP WITH?
177
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:57,985
YES, FOR CROQUET.
LOOKIN' GOOD, GEORGE.
178
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,758
REALLY? I'D SAY HE'S LOOKING
A LITTLE FAT IN THE FACE.
179
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,119
FRED, NICE TO SEE YOU.
180
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,956
SO, GEORGE, ARE YOU HERE
TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE
181
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:08,002
MY NEWLY SINGLE LIFE,
OPPRESS ME, FINESSE ME,
182
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,828
REDRESS ME, WRAP ME
HEAD TO TOE IN A SHERPA?
183
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,104
I-I THINK YOU MEAN A BURKA.
184
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,902
I REFUSE TO BE CORRECTED
BY THE LIKES OF YOU.
185
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,195
I MAY HAVE USED THE WRONG WORD,
BUT THAT'S MY RIGHT.
186
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,667
I'M A FULL-GROWN WOMAN,
GEORGE ALTMAN. FULL-GROWN.
187
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:23,478
(chuckles) DALLAS, RELAX.
NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE...
188
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,141
STILL GROWING.
189
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,247
GOOD.
LOOK, I COME IN PEACE.
190
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,049
I JUST THOUGHT
IT MIGHT BE NICE
191
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,780
TO BE ON THE SAME TEAM
FOR A CHANGE.
192
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,746
WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE
ABOUT THAT, GEORGE.
193
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,024
I'D LIKE TO RESERVE JUDGMENT
194
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,792
UNTIL I SEE
HOW YOU HANDLE YOUR MALLET.
195
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,221
OH, THIS?
196
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,585
I GOT THIS.
197
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,828
BOOM!
198
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:40,690
(chuckles) WHAT WAS THAT?
199
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,258
(chuckles)
WAS THAT YOUR SWING? (laughs)
200
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,955
THAT'S NOT HOW
IT'S DONE, GEORGE.
OHH.
201
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:44,667
IT'S THROUGH THE LEGS.
202
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,928
LET ME SHOW YOU.
I'LL SHOW HIM.
203
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,196
STAND DOWN, FRED.
204
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:52,535
FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOTTA GET
A GOOD GRIP ON THAT SHAFT, OKAY?
205
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,613
OKAY.
TIGHT, BUT DON'T CHOKE IT,
ALL RIGHT?
206
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,882
NICE. GOOD.
207
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,039
SLOW THRUST HERE. THRUST...
208
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,307
MM-HMM.
209
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,005
WITH A LOT
OF FOLLOW-THROUGH.
210
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,007
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
211
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,718
GONNA USE YOUR BODY
TO DRIVE IT.
212
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,151
DRIVE IT. DRIVE IT.
213
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,316
DRIVE IT, GEORGE.
214
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,194
DRIVE IT. GOOD. DRIVE IT.
215
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,522
DRIVE IT
IN A STRAIGHT LINE.
216
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,328
DRIVE IT! ALL RIGHT.
DRIVE IT, GEORGE!
217
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,060
WHOO!
BEAUTIFUL!
218
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,625
THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!
219
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:19,104
IT REALLY WAS. GO, GEORGE!
220
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:23,342
(Billy Squier's
"Everybody Wants You" playing)
221
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,710
RIGHT THROUGH THAT HOLE.
222
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,310
* YOU SEE 'EM COMIN' AT YOU
223
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,241
WHOO! UHH!
224
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,647
* STRUNG ON PRETENSION
225
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,349
* THEY FALL FOR YOU
AT FIRST SIGHT *
226
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,620
OW! (grunts)
227
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,689
TIMBER! HA HA HA HA!
228
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,789
* SAY GOOD-BYE
TO CONVENTIONAL WAYS *
229
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,322
* YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE HOURS
230
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,626
* YOU LOSE TRACK OF THE DAYS
231
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,159
* THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND
232
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,234
(George)
RIGHT THROUGH, LADIES!
233
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,832
* YOU NEVER GET AWAY
234
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,925
(grunts)
235
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,096
* EVERYBODY WANTS YOU
236
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,306
(George) HA HA HA!
237
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,738
* WHOO
238
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,784
(lowered voice) ENOUGH.
239
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,809
WHAT?
YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
240
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,984
YOU'RE A CROQUET GOD.
241
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,953
NOW STICK IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS
AND SHOW A LITTLE DIGNITY.
242
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,322
WHOA. FRED,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
243
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:14,120
YOU ARE FROTHING MY WIFE UP
INTO A FROTHY FRENZY,
244
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,364
AND I WOULD APPRECIATE
A LITTLE DECORUM.
245
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,189
UH, OKAY. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO FROTH ANYONE.
246
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,326
WELL, YOU JUST REMEMBER THIS,
GEORGE ALTMAN.
247
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,801
SHEILA'S LAST NAME IS
THE SAME AS MINE,
248
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,001
SO NO MATTER HOW MUCH
SHE MAY FANTASIZE ABOUT
249
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:29,873
YOUR TUMESCENT ADDENDUM,
I'M THE MAN SHE MARRIED.
250
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:30,603
GOT IT?
251
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,708
I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS.
252
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,840
WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE?
IS THAT DIRT?
253
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:38,175
(scoffs) I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
254
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:47,320
(indistinct conversations)
255
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,964
WHAT DO YOU THINK
THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT?
256
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,019
WHO?
257
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,658
MS. EVANS IS PROBABLY
TELLING DALIA
258
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:55,963
ABOUT SOME COOL, NEW BAND
WHOSE BASS PLAYER
259
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,726
SHE USED TO DATE,
260
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,795
A BAND DALIA WOULD NEVER
IN A MILLION YEARS BE INTO,
261
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,144
BUT I WOULD HAVE LOVED.
262
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,740
WELL, I'M NOT
A PROFESSIONAL LIP-READER,
263
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:08,642
BUT I THINK DALIA JUST SAID
SOMETHING ABOUT BROWNIES?
264
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,136
OR BRAN EYES?
BROWN THIGHS.
265
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,878
I HOPE DALIA ENJOYS
THE ATTENTION WHILE IT LASTS,
266
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,224
BECAUSE THAT'S
GONNA BE ME SOON.
267
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,150
ONCE MS. EVANS READS
THE POEM I JUST FINISHED...
268
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,217
(exhales deeply)
THINGS ARE GONNA GO
269
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,385
A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY
AROUND HERE.
270
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,734
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A TOUGH TIME COMPETING
271
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,229
WITH THE ONE I WROTE
ABOUT RYAN.
272
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,430
WELL, I'M NOT MESSING
AROUND ANYMORE.
273
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,002
(paper rustles loudly)
274
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:34,001
I DECIDED TO GO THERE.
275
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:34,974
ARE YOU--
276
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,272
PLAYING THE "MOM LEFT
WHEN I WAS YOUNG" CARD?
277
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:39,813
YEAH. YES, I AM.
278
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,340
DESPERATE TIMES CALL
FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.
279
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,075
SEEMS PRETTY DESPERATE.
280
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,481
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE BEATEN THE SHAYS EVER.
281
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,217
FELT GOOD. FELT REAL GOOD.
282
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:54,293
THANK YOU.
283
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:58,191
DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
STRANGE ABOUT SHEILA TODAY?
284
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,085
YOU MEAN THE SHOES?
285
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,886
I WASN'T GONNA GO THERE,
BUT IT LOOKED LIKE
286
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,958
SHE STOLE 'EM OFF
A COURT JESTER.
287
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,996
THERE! SOMEBODY SAID IT.
288
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,972
(lowered voice) I WASN'T
TALKING ABOUT HER SHOES.
289
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,140
DID YOU NOTICE HER
THROWING ME ANY VIBES?
290
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,339
VIBES? WHAT KIND OF VIBES?
291
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,341
(sighs) SEXUAL VIBES.
292
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,383
I THINK
YOU'RE STONE-COLD TRIPPIN'.
293
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:16,808
IF I RECALL, JUST RECENTLY,
294
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,214
YOU ACCUSED ME OF BEING
INTO YOU AS WELL.
295
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,046
AFTER YOU KISSED ME,
NOT TO HARP,
296
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,051
BUT THIS--
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
297
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,153
(chuckles) SOUNDS LIKE
SOMEONE'S DECIDED
298
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,485
THEY'RE THE WHITE WESLEY SNIPES
OF CHATSWIN.
299
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,390
THE WHOLE FEMALE POPULATION'S
IN SOME SORT
300
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,522
OF HORMONAL TIZZY...
(cell phone alert chimes)
301
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,827
SINCE YOU ROLLED INTO TOWN.
IS THAT IT, GEORGE? (sighs)
302
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,861
(whispers) I'M NOT WEARING
ANY UNDERWEAR. (gasps)
303
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:45,144
"BUGATTI VEYRON.
LAMBORGHINI MURCEILAGO.
304
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:49,012
"PAGANI ZONDA. FERRARI ENZO.
305
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,142
"THINK ABOUT IT.
306
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,547
"YOU GUYS.
307
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,909
CARS."
308
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,294
BOOM.
309
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,833
(whispers) WOW.
310
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,028
(normal voice) POWERFUL.
311
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:11,097
WOW. I JUST GOT IT.
312
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:15,001
WELCOME, LISA...
TO GETTING IT.
313
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,965
OKAY. (chuckles) WHEW.
314
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,435
(chuckles)
WHO'D LIKE TO GO NEXT?
315
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,242
ALTHOUGH I CAN'T IMAGINE TRYING
TO FOLLOW THAT ACT.
316
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,876
(sighs)
317
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,818
"MOTHER.
318
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:36,023
"GIRL TURNS 3
ON A STORE-BOUGHT CAKE.
319
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,156
"EXTINGUISHED THE CANDLES
BUT NOT THE HATE.
320
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,862
"NO KISS GOOD NIGHT.
321
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:45,025
"NO LIPSTICK RED.
322
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,825
"NO COOL HAND
323
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,437
TOUCHING HER FEVERISH..."
324
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:54,014
(voice breaks) "HEAD."
325
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,441
OKEYDOKEY.
326
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,045
(school bell rings)
327
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,808
TESSA, CAN I SEE YOU
FOR A MOMENT?
328
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,317
(singsong voice, under breath)
FINALLY. SOME RECOGNITION.
329
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:05,049
(whispers) OKAY.
330
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,245
CAN I ASK YOU
SOMETHING PERSONAL?
331
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,186
OH, GO YES!
ASK ME ANYTHING.
332
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,462
LET'S CONNECT.
333
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,530
WAS THERE ANY TRUTH
BEHIND YOUR POEM TODAY?
334
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,460
A LOT OF TRUTH.
335
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,955
SO MUCH TRUTH, TRULY.
336
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,027
HUH. STRANGE.
337
00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,126
I FOUND MYSELF NOT CARING.
338
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:21,838
NOT--
339
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:24,139
CARING AT ALL,
AND IT PAINED ME
340
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:27,071
TO SEE YOU GRASPING
AT STRAWS CREATIVELY.
341
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,077
DALIA, WOULD YOU CONSIDER
WORKING WITH TESSA
342
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,280
ON HER POETRY?
343
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,881
UGH. DO I HAVE TO?
344
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,583
NO, CERTAINLY NOT.
TOTALLY UP TO YOU.
345
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,284
I REALLY DON'T LIKE TESSA.
346
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:40,116
WOW. YOU DON'T PULL
ANY PUNCHES, DO YOU?
347
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:40,953
(whispers) THAT'S BRAVE.
348
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,188
IT'S JUST
I REALLY CAN'T STAND TESSA.
349
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,363
SO HONEST.
350
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:49,002
LOOK, I CAN THROW IN
A LITTLE EXTRA CREDIT FOR YOU.
351
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,660
OKAY. FINE.
352
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,528
I GUESS I'LL DO IT,
SINCE IT'S FOR EXTRA CREDIT.
353
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,907
YOU ARE BOTH SHREWD AND WISE,
DALIA ROYCE.
354
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,438
I KNOW.
355
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,243
GOOD NEWS.
SHE'S WILLING TO--
356
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,535
YEAH. I HEARD.
357
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,617
I DON'T HAVE
AN ORIGINAL IDEA IN MY HEAD.
358
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,193
POETRY CLASS NOT GOING WELL?
359
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,462
TEACHER DIDN'T GIVE YOU AN "A"
FOR THOSE CHUNKY GLASSES?
360
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,430
SHE'S NOT INTO ME.
OH, COME ON.
361
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,359
BELIEVE ME, NO ONE'S
MORE SURPRISED THAN I AM.
362
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:25,034
MS. EVANS IS INEXPLICABLY
ENAMORED WITH... DALIA.
363
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,695
DALIA ROYCE.
364
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,603
I DON'T GET IT.
365
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,344
YIKES.
366
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,498
YEAH. IT STINGS.
IT STINGS A LOT.
367
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,537
DALIA IS THE MOST VAPID,
SHALLOW, BLACK HOLE
368
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:33,412
OF A HUMAN BEING
I'VE EVER MET.
369
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,410
OH, O-OKAY.
DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON DALIA.
370
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,553
H-HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT
MAYBE IT'S NOT SO EASY BEING
371
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:39,948
THE OBJECT OF AFFECTION?
372
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:40,880
NO.
I'M JUST SAYING,
373
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:44,184
SOMETIMES IT HARD TO BE
AGGRESSIVELY ADORED
374
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,447
BY SOMEONE WHOSE ATTENTION
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT.
375
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,916
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE,
DALIA IS THE REAL VICTIM HERE.
376
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:50,887
REALLY? THIS IS WHERE
YOU WANT TO TAKE
377
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,264
THE CONVERSATION, GEORGE?
SYMPATHY FOR DALIA?
378
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,633
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE DAD.
379
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,402
NOW THAT'S THE KIND
OF NEGATIVE ATTENTION
380
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,570
I'M USED TO.
381
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,377
(sighs)
382
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,952
(lowered voice) WHAT ARE YOU
DREAMING ABOUT, SHEILA?
383
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:19,493
ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT
GORGEOUS GEORGE ALTMAN?
384
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,719
IS HE THE HOT DELIVERY BOY
TONIGHT,
385
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:25,034
COMING TO YOUR DOOR
WITH A PILE OF FRESH MEAT?
386
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,528
NO. NO, NO, NO.
STOP DREAMING ABOUT HIM.
387
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,031
DREAM ABOUT FRED,
388
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,374
COMFORTABLE, STEADFAST FRED,
389
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,100
ALWAYS-THERE-FOR-YOU FRED,
390
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,236
FRED
OF THE KILLER FOOT MASSAGE.
391
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,442
(sighs) OHH.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
392
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,144
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
(switch clicks)
393
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,006
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
IS IT A NIGHT PROWLER?
394
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:47,105
(sighs) NO.
395
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,377
(sighs)
SHEILA, WE NEED TO TALK.
396
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,115
I-I READ YOUR DIARY.
397
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:53,750
WHAT? FRED, THAT'S
A VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY.
398
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,086
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
399
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,723
BELIEVE ME,
I WISH I HADN'T SEEN IT,
400
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:01,157
BECAUSE NOW I KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT GEORGE,
401
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,634
AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT
OF MY HEAD.
402
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,102
(sighs)
403
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,772
WELL...
MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.
404
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,040
WHAT?
405
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:11,239
HAVING IT OUT IN THE OPEN,
I MEAN.
406
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,771
IT'S A SCHOOLGIRL FANTASY.
407
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,705
BUT YOU'RE NOT A SCHOOLGIRL.
408
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,741
(sighs)
409
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,046
I'M GLAD YOU KNOW.
410
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,509
I LOVE YOU, FRED,
411
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:21,777
AND THAT IS UNCHANGED
BY THE FACT
412
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,254
THAT I LUST ENDLESSLY
OVER GEORGE.
413
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,389
(sighs) OHH.
414
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,564
(panting)
415
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,204
(lowered voice)
GROW, YOU BASTARD. GROW.
416
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,700
(inhales deeply and sighs)
417
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,501
WHETHER OR NOT
DALIA WAS ACTUALLY GOOD
418
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,203
AT POETRY DIDN'T MATTER.
419
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,435
MS. EVANS THOUGHT SHE WAS,
AND I HAD TO FIND OUT WHY.
420
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:46,712
HOW?
421
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,339
IT'S EASY.
422
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:52,175
I JUST EMPTY MY HEAD,
AND WORDS POP IN IT.
423
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,612
COULD YOU WALK ME THROUGH
THAT PROCESS STEP-BY-STEP?
424
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,347
YOU KNOW, YOU SUCK
RIGHT NOW, EVEN FOR YOU.
425
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,794
JUST TELL ME HOW TO WRITE
GOOD POETRY
426
00:16:58,818 --> 00:16:59,848
THAT MS. EVANS WILL LIKE!
427
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,586
JUST STOP TRYING SO HARD!
428
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,392
(brush clatters)
429
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,293
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE TOTALLY FANNING OUT
430
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,864
OVER SOME GROSS TEACHER
WITH GREASY HAIR.
431
00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:08,303
MS. EVANS IS AWESOME.
432
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,198
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
433
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,169
ALL YOU KNOW IS
THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.
434
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,569
SHE'S YOUR SCOTT STRAUSS.
435
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,070
WHAT?
REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS DATING
436
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,802
THAT REALLY UGLY GIRL...
THAT WAS ME.
437
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,836
AND THE MORE HE DIDN'T JOCK ME,
THE MORE I JOCKED HIM?
438
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,112
THAT'S YOU,
439
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:26,681
EXCEPT WITH A SAD, MIDDLE-AGED,
WEIRDO POETRY TEACHER WITH B.O.
440
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,653
DID I JUST RECEIVE A LESSON
IN HUMAN NATURE
441
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,592
FROM THE LEAST HUMAN PERSON
I KNOW?
442
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,259
YEAH, YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT, BEEYOTCH,
443
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,788
BECAUSE I SEE IT
SINKING IN.
444
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,633
(doorbell rings)
445
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,428
I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE
TO MY WIFE.
446
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,900
FRED, DIGGIN' THE GOATEE.
447
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,629
(sighs)
COME ON IN.
448
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,798
I CAN'T.
449
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:50,573
I-I CARE ABOUT YOU
AS A FRIEND, BUT I CAN'T.
450
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,543
I WON'T.
451
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,741
OKAY, LOOK, GEORGE, NOAH,
452
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,713
I'VE PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT
INTO THIS. A LOT.
453
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,353
I LOVE MY WIFE.
454
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,548
SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME,
455
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,280
BUT SHE HAS NEEDS
THAT I'M NOT FULFILLING,
456
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,146
AND I WANT THEM TO BE FULFILLED.
457
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,285
FRED, PLEASE--
458
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,819
HEAR THE MAN OUT.
(chuckles)
459
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,615
(sighs)
I-I HAVE PRIDE, SURE,
460
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,687
BUT I CAN CRUMPLE
THAT PRIDE UP
461
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,485
INTO A LITTLE BALL
AND EAT IT.
462
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,457
FOR SHEILA, I CAN EAT IT,
AND I WILL.
463
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,596
FRED, SHEILA LOVES YOU.
464
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,631
IF THERE IS
SOME FLEETING INFATUATION
465
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,737
THAT SHE HAS GOING ON WITH ME,
IT'S JUST THAT--FLEETING.
466
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,670
ARE YOU SAYING NO? I MEAN,
YOU WON'T SATISFY MY WIFE?
467
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,477
WHAT, IS SHE NOT GOOD ENOUGH
FOR YOU, MR. ALTMAN?
468
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,740
'CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
469
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,508
SHE WILL DO THINGS TO YOU--
470
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,746
THINGS YOU CAN'T
EVEN IMAGINE,
471
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,882
THINGS THAT AREN'T
EVEN LEGAL.
472
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,386
I BELIEVE IT.
473
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,888
OKAY, FRED,
GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE.
474
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:44,319
GO WORK THIS THING OUT,
THE TWO OF YOU.
475
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:47,157
WELL, THIS ISN'T VERY NEIGHBORLY
OF YOU, GEORGE.
476
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,934
IT'S NOT VERY NEIGHBORLY AT ALL,
477
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,272
SO LET'S JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS
THE NEXT TIME
478
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:55,699
YOU WANT TO BORROW MY RAKE,
SHALL WE?
479
00:18:58,671 --> 00:18:59,811
I HAVE A RAKE.
480
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,681
I'M GONNA TRY
TO TRANSFER OUT.
481
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,512
AFTER FAILING GYM,
I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD
482
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,347
A "C" IN POETRY.
(spritzing)
483
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,522
WOW. SO YOU'RE OFF
MS. EVANS, HUH?
484
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,351
IT'S WEIRD.
485
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,815
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MADE ME
SO DESPERATE
486
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,463
FOR THE APPROVAL
OF A WITHHOLDING OLDER WOMAN
487
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,759
WHO CLEAR WANTED NOTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
488
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,362
YEAH.
489
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,355
YEAH. NO. ME EITHER.
490
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,767
YEAH.
491
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,499
IT'S A PUZZLER.
492
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:31,495
YEAH. NO, IT IS.
IT'S CURIOUS.
493
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,408
MM-HMM.
494
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,910
(door creaks open)
495
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,341
FRED, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK.
496
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,707
SHEILA, I NEED TO SPEAK
TO YOU PRIVATELY.
497
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,676
I FAILED YOU. GEORGE WOULDN'T
AGREE TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU.
498
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:46,845
I ASKED HIM, BUT HE DENIED ME.
HEY, TESSA. HELLO, LISA.
499
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,756
WHAT IN GOD'S NAME
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
500
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,418
GEORGE ALTMAN--
YOUR FANTASY.
501
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,658
I'M ONLY SORRY I COULDN'T
MAKE HIM YOUR REALITY.
502
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,863
HE WON'T HAVE INTERCOURSE
WITH YOU,
503
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,234
WON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT.
504
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,773
FRED, I AM NOT ATTRACTED
TO GEORGE ALTMAN.
505
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,798
I COULDN'T BE LESS ATTRACTED
TO GEORGE ALTMAN.
506
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,643
HE'S... UNKEMPT!
507
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:06,410
THE GEORGE FROM MY DIARY
IS GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS.
508
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,779
THE LITTLE GREEK MAN
FROM "GOOD MORNING AMERICA"?
509
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:12,908
I LIKE A TIDY, PETITE MAN.
YOU KNOW THAT.
510
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,745
(sighs) YOU COULDN'T
HAVE USED A LAST NAME?
511
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,051
I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO SPELL HIS NAME.
512
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:19,052
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
IT'S A RIDICULOUS LAST NAME!
513
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,285
OH, SHEILA SHAY-SHAY.
514
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,761
(both laugh)
515
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,059
(door closes)
516
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,930
(TV playing indistinctly)
517
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,928
WHERE'S GEORGE? I'VE GOT NEWS.
HE'S ABOUT TO DO
SOMETHING DRASTIC.
518
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:33,631
I TRIED TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT,
BUT HE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME.
519
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,996
(buzzing)
520
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,765
JUST DO IT.
521
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,065
WAIT!
522
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:40,936
STOP.
(buzzing stops)
523
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,413
TESSA, I LOVE IT, TOO,
BUT IT'S GOTTA GO,
524
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,653
FOR EVERYONE'S GOOD.
525
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,908
(sighs) I THINK
IT'S JUST TOO SEXY.
526
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,676
DAD, SHEILA'S NOT OBSESSED
WITH YOU.
527
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,645
SHE'S OBSESSED WITH THE GEORGE
FROM "GOOD MORNING AMERICA,"
528
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:55,694
SO YOU MAY NOT BE THE CASANOVA
OF CHATSWIN AFTER ALL.
529
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:56,862
OH.
530
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,628
HI. WHAT'S--WHAT'S THIS?
531
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,000
IT'S A BALL CARRIER
FOR YOU TO CARRY YOUR BALLS.
532
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,295
"GEORGE-ASS"?
533
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,343
OH, IT'S PRONOUNCED
"GEORGE-UHS."
534
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:10,368
IT'S A COMBINATION
OF BOTH OUR NAMES,
535
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:12,543
LIKE BENNIFER, BRANGELINA,
OR CeeLo.
536
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,342
I-I THINK
HE'S JUST ONE GUY.
537
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:16,084
HE COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE.
538
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:19,008
WELL... (sighs) IT'S TIME
TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL, GEORGE,
539
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:21,575
SINCE WE'RE GONNA BE
PARTNERS AND ALL.
540
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,754
SO ARE WE?
541
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,749
(chuckles)
35932
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof