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1
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,341
(Tessa) IF SOMEBODY PUT
A GUN TO MY HEAD
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,565
AND FORCED ME TO SAY
MY FAVORITE THING
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,280
ABOUT THE SUBURBS,
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,612
I WOULD HAVE TO SAY
IT'S THE WATER PRESSURE.
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,408
AFTER ALL, THE WATER DOESN'T
HAVE TO INCH ITS WAY
6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,520
UP TO THE TENTH FLOOR
LIKE IT DID IN THE CITY.
7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,752
IT'S ALWAYS RIGHT THERE
WHEN YOU NEED IT--
8
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:20,847
GUSHING, POWERFUL, HOT...
9
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,191
(drain gurgles)
10
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,627
YOU'RE KIDDING ME!
11
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,903
(water drops)
12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,401
YOUR WATER SHUT OFF, TOO?
13
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,203
I STILL HAVE SHAMPOO
IN MY HAIR.
14
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,895
TRUST ME,
I HAVE A WORSE SITUATION
15
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,196
INVOLVING SOFT SOAP.
16
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,638
WELL, SHOULD WE CALL
THE SUPER?
17
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:36,903
I AM THE SUPER!
18
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:37,940
(doorbell rings)
19
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,305
(water gushing)
20
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,073
OKAY.
21
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:42,381
HEY. UH, WHAT'S GOING ON?
22
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,183
I TOLD YOU HE HAD
A GOOD BUILD.
23
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,505
I STAND CORRECTED.
24
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,249
(chuckles) OKAY. WHAT, UH,
CAN I--CAN I HELP YOU?
25
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,245
BAD NEWS, GEORGE. SOMEBODY RAN
OVER THE FIRE HYDRANT
26
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,617
ON YOUR FRONT LAWN.
27
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,224
OKAY, WE--WE DON'T HAVE
A FIRE HYDRANT
28
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,486
ON OUR FRONT LAWN.
29
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,494
WELL, YOU DO NOW.
30
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,055
(chuckles)
31
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,664
UH...
32
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,725
(sighs)
33
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:00,863
OH.
34
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,598
(water gushing)
35
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,203
WOW.
36
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,444
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
37
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:13,512
(Alih Jay) * LAST NIGHT I HAD
A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE *
38
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,314
* DA-DA-DA-DA,
DA, DA, DA, DA *
39
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:17,677
THIS IS A FIRST
FOR CHATSWIN HIGH,
40
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,375
HAVING AN UNDERCOVER NARC
ON THE PREMISES.
41
00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:24,348
IT'S VERY EXCITING.
IT'S LIKE "THE WIRE"!
42
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,088
I DON'T KNOW
HOW EXCITING IT IS
43
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,864
THAT KIDS ARE USING
AND DISTRIBUTING STEROIDS.
44
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,462
VERY...
45
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,234
(lowered voice) BUT I PROMISE
TO KEEP THIS SHIZZLE ON THE D.L.
46
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:35,133
SO'S I DON'T BLOW UP
YOUR SPOT.
47
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,326
I APPRECIATE THAT.
48
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,627
NOW I'M GONNA INTRODUCE YOU
49
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,498
INTO THE SCHOOL POPULATION
THE WAY I INTRODUCE
50
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,997
EVERY NEW STUDENT--
BY ASSIGNING YOU A BUDDY.
51
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,670
TESSA!
52
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,108
TESSA!
53
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,935
(telephone ringing)
54
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,910
THIS IS JOSH SHERMAN.
55
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:56,019
JOSH IS A NEW STUDENT HERE
AT OUR SCHOOL,
56
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,923
AND SINCE YOU'RE
OUR MOST RECENT ADDITION
57
00:01:57,985 --> 00:01:59,215
TO CHATSWIN, I COULDN'T THINK
58
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,117
OF ANYONE BETTER
TO SHOW JOSH THE ROPES.
59
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,719
ARE YOU SURE?
60
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,160
I'M STILL LOOKING FOR ONE
TO HANG MYSELF WITH.
61
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,996
(laughs) SHE'S SO WRY.
62
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,501
(bell rings)
63
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,634
MOVING HERE FROM A CITY
IS CHALLENGING AT FIRST.
64
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,970
THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF
YOU'VE GOT TO GET USED TO.
65
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,395
LIKE WHAT?
66
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,710
WHO'S THIS LOSER?
67
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:20,673
I'M JOSH.
68
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,841
IS TESSA SHOWING YOU
AROUND LOSERTOWN?
69
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,650
WELL, IF THIS IS LOSERTOWN,
70
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,753
WOULDN'T THAT MAKE YOU A LOSER?
71
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,516
OH, WOW. LOGIC.
72
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,392
IS EVERYBODY LIKE--
MOST.
73
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,158
MOST.
74
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,358
I MEAN, I THOUGHT
MANHATTAN COST A FORTUNE.
75
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,500
THERE HASN'T BEEN A SINGLE DAY
SINCE I MOVED HERE THAT
76
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:48,495
SOMETHING HASN'T BROKEN DOWN
OR NEEDED PAINTING OR CAULKING
77
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:51,439
OR WEATHER-STRIPPING
OR RESURFACING.
78
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,535
SOUNDS LIKE MY WIFE.
(laughs) I'M JUST KIDDING.
79
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:56,237
JILL LOOKS GREAT
FOR A WOMAN IN HER 40s.
80
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,410
(laughs) I'M JUST JOKING.
81
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:02,149
I MARRIED TOO YOUNG.
(laughs) STOP ME!
82
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,546
(chuckles)
83
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,218
(mouths word)
84
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:09,287
(lowered voice) AND THAT IS
MY OTHER PROBLEM.
85
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,757
DALLAS?
YEAH.
86
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:14,704
LOOK AT THE WAY SHE'S SMILING
AT ME. (clears throat)
87
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,432
THAT'S THE WAY SHE SMILES
AT EVERYBODY.
88
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:21,338
LOOK AT THE WAY
SHE'S EATING THAT BANANA.
89
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:25,442
(man) * THIS IS YOUR FANTASY
90
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,536
THAT'S THE WAY
SHE EATS EVERYTHING.
91
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,278
WHAT? NO, IT IS NOT.
TRUST ME.
92
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,313
THINGS HAVE BEEN WEIRD
EVER SINCE SHE KISSED ME.
93
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,319
WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA
AND WAIT AND WHAT AND HUH?
94
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,622
SHE KISSED YOU? WHERE?
95
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,423
ON THE LIPS.
96
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,554
NO, WHERE IN THE WORLD?
97
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:38,818
OH, AT MY HOUSE
ON CHRISTMAS.
98
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,016
I TOLD YOU THAT.
99
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,857
(chuckles) YOU MOST CERTAINLY
DID NOT TELL ME THAT.
100
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,992
I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THAT.
SHE'S SMOKIN' HOT!
101
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:45,958
SHE'S MARRIED.
102
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,756
WHICH MAKES IT HOTTER.
103
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,458
YOUR WIFE'S MARRIED.
104
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,730
YEAH,
BUT SHE'S MARRIED TO ME.
105
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,529
LISA, THIS IS JOSH.
106
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,571
HE JUST MOVED HERE
FROM CHICAGO.
107
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:56,636
HI, LISA.
108
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:02,483
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CHICAGO,
BUT I'M A BIG FAN OF THE MUSICAL
109
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,783
AND FOUND QUEEN LATIFAH TO BE
AN UNEXPECTED SURPRISE
110
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,745
IN THE MOVIE VERSION.
111
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,815
NICE MEETING YOU.
112
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,316
I THINK I HAVE A SHOT
WITH HIM.
113
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:15,988
WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?
114
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,656
'CAUSE HE HASN'T HAD TIME
TO FORM AN OPINION ABOUT ME
115
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,885
BASED ON WHAT
EVERYONE ELSE THINKS.
116
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,760
JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND PUT IN
A GOOD WORD FOR ME, WOULD YOU?
117
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,900
JUST, I DON'T KNOW,
TELL HIM I'M NICE
118
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,595
AND SMART AND...
119
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,938
(Lisa)
AND NOT RELATED TO HIM.
120
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,913
**
121
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,513
TELL HIM I'M ADOPTED.
122
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:39,606
I THINK I LEFT MY CAR KEYS.
(slurping)
123
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,680
(jangling)
124
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:41,618
OH.
125
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,682
LOOKIN' FOR THESE, DADDY?
OH!
126
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,821
OH. (chuckles)
127
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,145
DALLAS.
128
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,919
MR. SNEAKY-FACE TRIED TO SNEAK
OUT WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.
129
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,788
NO, ACTUALLY, MR.
I-DIDN'T-WANT-TO-BOTHER-YOU-FACE
130
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,688
DIDN'T WANT
TO... BOTHER YOU.
131
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,130
WELL, I WANT YOU
TO BOTHER ME, GEORGE.
132
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,534
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.
133
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:59,766
I DO KNOW THAT, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO BOTHER YOU.
134
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,003
I THINK
YOU AND I SHOULD TALK.
135
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,040
SO TALK.
136
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,474
WELL, NOT HERE.
137
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,109
THIS CLUB IS FULL OF BUSYBODIES
AND NUDGY-NOSES.
138
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,305
(lowered voice)
THIS IS PRIVATE.
139
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,308
(normal voice)
I'LL CALL YOU.
140
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,650
(sighs)
141
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,048
SHE STILL HAS MY CAR KEYS.
142
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,160
(latch clicks)
SO, JOSH, YOU REMEMBER
THAT GIRL LISA
143
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,562
I INTRODUCED YOU TO
YESTERDAY?
144
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,164
(latch clicks)
NOPE.
145
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,355
YOU KNOW,
KINDA DIRTY BLONDE HAIR,
146
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,757
HAZEL BROWN EYES,
LOVES QUEEN LATIFAH.
147
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,329
OHH.
148
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,268
LISA.
149
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,872
NO.
150
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:34,504
JOSH.
151
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,998
(locker door closes)
152
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:40,739
SHE'S SUPER NICE AND SMART
AND... ADOPTED,
153
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,008
IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SORT
OF THING,
154
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:46,946
WHICH SOME PEOPLE... ARE.
155
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,854
WHO'S THAT?
156
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,546
WAIT A MINUTE.
I HAD SPENT ENOUGH TIME
157
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,088
IN THE WEST VILLAGE
TO RECOGNIZE THAT LOOK.
158
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:55,622
THAT LOOK MEANT JOSH
WAS NEVER GONNA LIKE LISA
159
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,059
BECAUSE JOSH WAS GAY,
160
00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:00,064
AND IT WAS,
FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD...
161
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,897
(singsongy) FABULOUS.
162
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:10,339
WHATCHA DOIN'?
163
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,314
STUDYING FOR A SPANISH TEST.
164
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,412
OH. WELL, IF YOU'RE STUCK
ON "CEILING,"
165
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:17,175
I THINK IT'S EL TECHO...
166
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,514
OR IS THAT ARMPIT?
167
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,849
SO THIS NEW GUY STARTED
AT CHATSWIN TODAY.
168
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:21,754
YEAH?
169
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,945
HE'S SUPER NICE, REAL GAY,
170
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,687
BUT I THINK HE'S IN THE CLOSET,
WHICH IS BUMMING ME OUT.
171
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:29,324
RIGHT, BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS
TO BE HONEST ABOUT WHO THEY ARE.
172
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,419
EXACTLY.
173
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,961
HAVE YOU MET PEOPLE?
174
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,425
VERY FEW OF THEM ARE COMPLETELY
HONEST ABOUT WHO THEY ARE.
175
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,155
I AM.
THEN YOU'D HAVE NO PROBLEM
176
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,899
WITH PEOPLE KNOWING YOU DVR
"FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J."?
177
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,471
(whispers)
WE ALL HAVE OUR SECRETS.
178
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,936
(cell phone rings)
179
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,135
(sighs)
180
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,276
(ring)
181
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,481
UGH. (sighs)
182
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:54,754
¿TU NO SABER POR TELEFONO...
DECIR SALUDO?
183
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:59,145
NON, PARCE QU'ELLE QUI APPELLE
QUI VEUT LES SEXUELS AVEC MOI.
184
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:06,355
I TOOK FRENCH.
185
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,756
(Dallas) SQUEEZE IT.
186
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,398
YOU GOTTA SQUEEZE IT, GEORGE.
HMM?
187
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,503
(woman over P.A.)
NO WAITING ON CHECKSTAND 2.
188
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:15,395
OH. HEY, DALLAS.
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
189
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,199
NOT REALLY.
I FOLLOWED YOU HERE.
190
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,770
YEAH?
HERE. FEEL THESE.
191
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,539
FEEL MY MELONS.
OKAY.
192
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,108
SEE HOW FULL THEY FEEL
IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND?
193
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,246
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW
THEY'RE JUICY AND READY TO EAT.
194
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,082
OKAY, YOU KNOW, I-I DON'T
THINK I'M GONNA GET
195
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:31,077
ANY MELONS ANYWAY,
SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
196
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,321
GEORGE, I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU
AND YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED,
197
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:37,587
AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE
MAYBE YOU'RE AVOIDING ME.
198
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,458
AVOIDING YOU? THAT'S CRAZY.
I--WHY WOULD I--
199
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,758
I-I WOULDN'T. I'M NOT.
200
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,099
GOOD, 'CAUSE I HAVE
A PROPOSAL FOR YOU.
201
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,404
I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU
202
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,165
TO DESIGN MY BOUTIQUE.
DALLAS,
YOU ARE A MARRIED WOMAN!
203
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:52,074
(Muzak playing)
204
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,439
(sighs)
205
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:54,977
WHAT DOES MY BEING MARRIED
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
206
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,582
WITH YOU DESIGNING
MY BOUTIQUE?
NO, NO. NOTHING. NOTHING.
207
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,354
NOTHING. I-I JUST THINK
THE TWO OF US--
208
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,211
OH, LOOK WHO IT IS!
(thuds)
209
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,210
GOLDEN RAISINS.
210
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,551
GEORGE.
211
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,416
(man) MANAGER TO REGISTER 4,
PLEASE.
212
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,794
WOULD YOU LIKE A COUPON
FOR GROUND CHUCK?
213
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,153
NO, THANKS. I'M FINE.
214
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,290
TAKE THE COUPON, GEORGE.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
215
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,856
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
216
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,364
IT MEANS WE'RE GONNA HIT YOU
WHERE IT HURTS, RIGHT IN THE--
217
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,386
CINNAMON ROLLS.
218
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:15,461
WHAT?
219
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,029
GEORGE, THAT GEYSER
ON YOUR LAWN
220
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,127
CAUSED EXTENSIVE WATER DAMAGE
TO OUR DRIVEWAY.
221
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,769
AND, SADLY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO HAVE THE WHOLE THING REPAVED.
222
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,135
OOH, THAT SOUNDS
EXPENSIVE, GEORGE.
223
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:27,374
OH, IT WILL BE, AND IF GEORGE
DOESN'T PAY FOR IT, WE'LL SUE.
224
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,710
DON'T WANT TO.
BUT WE WILL.
225
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,276
THE SHAYS ARE
A LITIGIOUS PEOPLE.
226
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,584
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
GEORGE?
227
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,246
HALF PRICE
ON YOUR GROUND CHUCK
228
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,384
OR DESIGN MY BOUTIQUE?
229
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,289
(woman) DELI, LINE 1.
230
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,292
WHEN DO I START?
231
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,293
(bell ringing)
232
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,355
(indistinct conversations)
233
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,326
HEY! TESSA.
234
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,525
DO YOU KNOW RYAN SHAY?
235
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:51,227
AFTER ALL THIS TIME
IN SUBURBIA,
236
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:55,368
MY GAYDAR WAS STILL AS FINELY
TUNED AS LIBERACE'S PIANO.
237
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,165
YEAH. I KNOW RYAN. WHY?
238
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,608
I DON'T KNOW. JUST...
SEEMS KINDA POPULAR.
239
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,414
MAYBE THE SORTA GUY
I SHOULD KINDA GET TO KNOW.
240
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,305
SORTA KINDA, HUH?
241
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,577
YEAH.
242
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,716
BECAUSE HE'S... "POPULAR."
(chuckles)
243
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,822
YEAH.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
244
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,254
LOOK, JOSH,
YOU CAN TELL ME THE TRUTH.
245
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,560
THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT?
I'M NOT GONNA JUDGE YOU.
I'M FROM NEW YORK.
246
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,589
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
247
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,161
FINE, FINE.
248
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:25,129
I WON'T ASK,
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL.
249
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,598
(under breath)
BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,
250
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,837
YOU'RE BARKING UP
THE WRONG TREE
251
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,171
AS FAR AS RYAN SHAY
IS CONCERNED.
252
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,666
HE IS... (click teeth)
STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW.
253
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,470
BUT HIS BODY...
254
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:35,911
IT'S SO MUSCULAR.
255
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,306
I KNOW. AND THAT'S USUALLY
A TELLTALE SIGN, BUT--
256
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,749
OH, MY GOD. YOU DO KNOW.
257
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:47,823
YOU CAN'T OUT ME.
I WON'T.
258
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,088
NOBODY'S EVER
FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE.
259
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,316
WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER
IF EVERYONE KNEW,
260
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,630
AND IT WAS ALL
OUT IN THE OPEN?
261
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,292
WHAT? NO! ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT WOULD RUIN ME.
262
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,460
MAN, I WISH THE WORLD
WAS A DIFFERENT PLACE.
263
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,028
YEAH! (scoffs)
264
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,498
OKAY, SO RYAN SHAY'S
NOT MY GUY.
265
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,736
IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE
WORTH CHECKING OUT?
266
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:06,413
I DO HAVE THE SNEAKY SUSPICION
OF DAVE DONSKY.
267
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,573
SCHOOL QUARTERBACK?
268
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:10,311
DONSKY. GOT IT.
269
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:14,647
I'LL SNIFF AROUND,
SEE WHAT HE'S INTO.
270
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:18,115
NOT A WORD TO ANYONE, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
271
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,085
THANKS, TESSA.
272
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,552
(slaps arm)
273
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,890
(sighs)
274
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,655
I GOTTA GET OUT
OF THIS CLOSET.
275
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,955
(bell ringing)
276
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,503
SO I SAW YOU AND JOSH
TALKING YESTERDAY.
277
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,438
YOU THINK HE LIKES ME?
278
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,114
ALMOST.
279
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,442
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
280
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,777
HE LIKES YOUR BROTHER.
JOSH IS GAY?
281
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,913
WE NEVER HAD THIS CONVERSATION.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
282
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,618
JOSH CAN'T BE GAY.
THE GUY WHO CARVES OUR MEAT...
283
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:49,752
* TA-DA
284
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:52,347
NOW HE'S GAY, BUT JOSH?
285
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,719
EASY TO SPOT
THE OBVIOUS ONES.
286
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,987
YOU'RE FORGETTING ABOUT GUYS
LIKE DAVE DONSKY.
287
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,487
THE QUARTERBACK? HE'S THE MOST
MASCULINE GUY IN SCHOOL.
288
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,659
GAY.
NOT GAY.
289
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,428
CLAY AIKEN-GAY.
CLAY AIKEN'S NOT GAY.
290
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,095
HE'S JUST A TENDER SOUL.
291
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,474
LISA, HE'S OPENLY GAY.
HE'S AS GAY AS JOSH...
292
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,774
WHO IS GAY.
293
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:09,866
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
294
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:11,537
JOSH IS MY DESTINY.
I KNOW HE IS.
295
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,714
I'VE ALREADY GONE ONLINE
AND ORDERED COMPUTER RENDERINGS
296
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:18,014
OF WHAT OUR FUTURE CHILDREN
WILL LOOK LIKE.
297
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,808
WHERE DID YOU OBTAIN
THIS PHOTOS?
298
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,310
BuildMyBabies.com.
299
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,621
THE LITTLE BOY LOOKS LIKE
A SERIAL KILLER.
300
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,223
WHO, LOSH?
HE'S JUST MISUNDERSTOOD.
301
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,616
I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE
302
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,757
TO PROCREATE WITH.
303
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,392
JOSH IS PLAYING
FOR THE OTHER TEAM.
304
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,027
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
305
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:36,562
IT'S DRAFT SEASON, AND I PREDICT
JOSH WILL SWITCH TEAMS.
306
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,829
I CAN TURN HIM.
307
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,228
I AM BALLSY ENOUGH TO TRY.
308
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,800
I'M SURE JOSH WILL LIKE
THAT QUALITY.
309
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:43,840
UHH! YOU THE MAN.
310
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:44,944
NO, YOU THE MAN.
311
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,735
(both) UHH!
YOU THE MAN, MAN!
312
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:47,777
YOU THE MAN, TOO, MAN.
313
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,211
COME ON, MAN.
(boys grunt)
314
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,237
WHOO!
315
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,581
(all grunting)
316
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,446
(yelling)
317
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,475
(telephone ringing)
318
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,090
MR. WOLFE,
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?
319
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,592
ABSOLUTELY. I'M JUST BIDDING
ON A "PERFECT STRANGERS" BOX SET
320
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,455
AND...
(taps key)
321
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:09,034
I'M ALL YOURS. I'M NOT SURE
THEY REALLY WERE COUSINS.
322
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,196
WHO KNOWS?
323
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,334
ANYWAY...
324
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,400
I FEEL SORT OF EMBARRASSED
COMING TO YOU ABOUT THIS,
325
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:20,568
BUT... I HAVE THIS FRIEND
WHO'S ASHAMED TO BE GAY,
326
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,640
AND... REFUSES
TO COME OUT.
327
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,510
LET ME GUESS. IT'S YOU.
328
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,479
NO, IT'S A FRIEND.
329
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,848
IT ALWAYS IS.
330
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,887
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT
MAYBE YOU COULD TELL ME
331
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:35,162
HOW... YOU HANDLED IT.
332
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,222
HANDLED WHAT?
333
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,290
COMING OUT.
334
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,688
FROM INDIANA?
OH, IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
335
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,030
I JUST PACKED SOME BAGS
AND JUMPED ON A BUS.
336
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,997
UH...
337
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:47,997
OKAY.
338
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,138
BUT LET'S GET BACK
TO YOUR "FRIEND."
339
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,873
RIGHT. UH...
340
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,439
HE JUST SEEMS LIKE
SUCH A GREAT GUY,
341
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:58,106
AND... I KNOW HE'LL NEVER BE
HAPPY LIVING A LIE.
342
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:02,048
(opens drawer)
IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY
TO MY G.F., HEIDI.
343
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,385
"HEIDI, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE BEING
HETEROSEXUAL WITH YOU.
344
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,392
"BUT IF FOR SOME REASON
YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT,
345
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,524
"JUST LET ME KNOW
SO I CAN FIND ANOTHER WOMAN
346
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:13,359
TO BE HETEROSEXUAL WITH,
BECAUSE I HAVE NEEDS."
347
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,826
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE
A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
348
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,227
I JUST WISH MY FRIEND
WOULD REALIZE
349
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,128
THAT PEOPLE WHO DON'T
ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
350
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,771
AREN'T WORTH KNOWING ANYWAY.
351
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,336
TOTALLY.
352
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,214
ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS?
SHE'S A VIRGO.
353
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,075
OH, GEORGE.
354
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,583
DOESN'T THIS SPACE
JUST OOZE POTENTIAL?
355
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,016
IT OOZES, ALL RIGHT.
356
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:38,352
I AM FINALLY READY TO SHARE
MY PASSION WITH THE WORLD.
357
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,888
SO WHAT, SHOES? PURSES?
358
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:43,593
SHOES AND PURSES? HOW SHALLOW
DO YOU THINK I AM?
359
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,586
I'M SELLING PAPERWEIGHTS.
360
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,958
P-P-PAPERWEIGHTS?
361
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,827
OH, NOT JUST PAPERWEIGHTS.
362
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,896
CRYSTAL PAPERWEIGHTS
WITH 3D LASER-ETCHINGS
363
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,225
OF YOUR LOVED ONES.
364
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,071
LOOK.
365
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,435
THIS IS ME AND YAKULT.
366
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,013
SEE HOW IT'S LIKE
A LITTLE HOLOGRAM IN THERE?
367
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:03,082
HERE'S DALIA.
368
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,053
AND THIS ONE...
(gasps) IS YOU.
369
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,846
OH!
370
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,488
I BET YOUR BRAIN
IS JUST SPINNING,
371
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,863
THINKING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS
WE CAN DO IN HERE,
372
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,693
ON THE CEILING,
ON THE FLOOR.
373
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,828
(gasps)
UP AGAINST THIS WALL.
374
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,955
OKAY, DALLAS, THAT IS ENOUGH.
BEG PARDON?
375
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,701
LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT WHAT
WE'RE REALLY TALKING ABOUT HERE.
376
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,136
THIS JOB,
THIS... WHOLE STORE--
377
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,072
IT'S AN EXCUSE
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME.
378
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,808
(laughs and gasps)
379
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,442
WELL, SOMEONE'S SELF-ESTEEM
IS INTACT.
380
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,607
OH, COME ON. LASER-ETCHED 3D
CRYSTAL PAPERWEIGHTS?
381
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,747
WHO THE HELL WANTS THOSE?
382
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:39,881
PEOPLE WHO LOVE
THE SPECTACULAR.
383
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,207
OH, PLEASE.
384
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,551
THE ONLY THING SPECTACULAR HERE
IS THE LENGTHS
385
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,446
YOU ARE WILLING TO GO TO
TRYING TO SEDUCE ME.
386
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:47,589
SO THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
387
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,994
BUT I AM DONE THINKING
ABOUT WHAT WE COULD DO
388
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,457
UP AGAINST THAT WALL.
389
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,895
I WAS TALKING
ABOUT A DISPLAY CASE!
390
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,034
OHH!
(books thud)
391
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,799
SORRY, DUDE. HIGH FIVE.
392
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,068
LISA?
393
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,636
DON'T HARSH ME, DUDE.
HIGH FIVE.
394
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,410
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED--
395
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,235
DRESSED LIKE A MAN?
396
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,350
'CAUSE I... AM THE MAN.
397
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,653
HIGH FIVE.
398
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:18,645
I DON'T... WANT TO.
399
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,888
THAT'S COOL.
400
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:21,794
(chuckles)
BYE, LISA.
401
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,794
BYE, BRO.
402
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:27,727
HEY, TESSA. TESSA.
403
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,664
HEY, I JUST WANTED TO, UH,
THANK YOU
404
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,129
FOR TURNING ME ON TO DAVE.
405
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,428
SO THINGS WORKED OUT?
406
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,169
HMM. ARE YOU KIDDING?
407
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,944
I'M GONNA NAIL THIS GUY,
TESSA...
408
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,844
TODAY.
409
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,366
TODAY?
410
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,111
DON'T YOU WANNA TAKE THINGS
A LITTLE SLOWER?
411
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:46,076
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
HE'S THE ONE.
412
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:48,216
CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY.
IN FACT...
413
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,051
(clenches teeth) DO YOU
WANNA WATCH IT GO DOWN?
414
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,218
WH-WHERE'S IT GONNA GO DOWN?
415
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,786
RIGHT HERE...
IN THE HALLWAY.
416
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,757
RIGHT... NOW.
417
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,697
POLICE. FREEZE!
JUMP HIM!
418
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,903
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
419
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,634
(grunts)
(bag thuds)
420
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,399
NARCOTICS DIVISION,
NEW YORK POLICE DEPARTMENT.
421
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,298
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST
FOR THE POSSESSION
422
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,870
AND SALE OF STEROIDS. YOU HAVE
THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
(handcuffs clicking)
423
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,769
UHH!
424
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,981
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN
AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU...
425
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,084
AS I WATCHED IT GO DOWN,
426
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,976
I REALIZED I SHOULDN'T BE
PULLING ANYONE OVER
427
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,648
ON THE HOMOSEXUAL HIGHWAY,
428
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,445
BECAUSE MY GAYDAR
WAS CLEARLY BROKEN.
429
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,421
SO HOW IS
MY FAMOUS CHICKEN PARM?
430
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,691
KIND OF DRY.
431
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,329
WELL, YEAH, THAT--
THAT'S WHAT IT'S FAMOUS FOR.
432
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,795
REMEMBER THAT NEW KID I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT AT SCHOOL?
433
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,134
THE GAY ONE?
434
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,369
TURNS OUT
HE WASN'T SO MUCH GAY
435
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,543
AS HE WAS
AN UNDERCOVER NARCOTICS OFFICER
436
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,942
WHO WASN'T GAY.
437
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,743
A NARC? (laughs)
THEY STILL DO THAT?
438
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,576
(scoffs) APPARENTLY.
WOW.
439
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,881
AND APPARENTLY I'M THE IDIOT FOR
THINKING I UNDERSTOOD THE GUY
440
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,183
WHEN I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG.
441
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,976
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUMPED
TO A CONCLUSION LIKE THAT.
442
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,848
I FEEL SO STUPID.
443
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:02,217
YOU'RE NOT STUPID, TESS.
YOU'RE JUST AN ALTMAN.
444
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,859
(TV playing indistinctly)
445
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:07,864
...ON THE CEILING,
ON THE FLOOR.
446
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:12,427
OH, WE COULD DO IT RIGHT HERE
RIGHT UP AGAINST THIS WALL.
447
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:13,299
UH, DALLAS.
448
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,666
OH, GEORGE!
(door closes)
449
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,335
JOE, WHY DON'T YOU GET
THAT BID TO ME A.S.A.P.,
450
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,465
AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU
EVEN A.S.A.P.er, OKAY?
451
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,111
OKAY, FINE.
452
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:28,007
HEY.
HEY.
453
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,021
(door opens)
SO JOE SEEMS LIKE
A GOOD GUY.
454
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,883
HE IS.
YOU MUST BE SHOCKED TO SEE
455
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,591
I'M GOING FORWARD
WITH MY STORE...
(door closes)
456
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,693
CONSIDERING IT WAS ALL JUST
A PLOY TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.
457
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,285
OKAY, SO MAYBE I JUMPED
TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION.
458
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,259
I THINK IT'S HEREDITARY.
459
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,858
BUT LOOK, I MEAN, AFTER
WHAT HAPPENED AT CHRISTMAS--
460
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:48,500
CHRISTMAS?
OH, OF COURSE. THE KISS?
461
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,598
YES, THE KISS.
462
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,769
GEORGE, THAT KISS
HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
463
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,468
THAT WAS ABOUT ME
AND STEVEN.
464
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,041
HOW SO?
465
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,579
IT'S NO SECRET THINGS AREN'T
PERFECT BETWEEN HIM AND I.
466
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,875
I SPENT SO MUCH TIME
KEEPING MY HEAD DOWN,
467
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,947
JUST CARRYING OUT MY DUTIES
AS A WIFE, AS A MOTHER,
468
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,346
AS A SIZE 2.
469
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,848
SOMETIMES I HAVE
TO REMIND MYSELF TO LOOK UP
470
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,460
AND THINK ABOUT THE THINGS
THAT I WANT, AND THEN I DID,
471
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,233
AND... (sighs)
AND THERE YOU WERE,
472
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:17,033
STANDING IN THE WRONG PLACE
AT THE WRONG TIME, I GUESS.
473
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,226
I GUESS.
474
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,798
MY MARRIAGE
MAY NOT BE PERFECT,
475
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,596
BUT, GEORGE, I'M FIXING
TO REDISCOVER MYSELF.
476
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:26,009
I'M FIXING TO LASER-ENGRAVE
MY OWN HAPPINESS
477
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,382
INTO A GLISTENING BALL
OF CRYSTAL.
478
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,811
I'M A STORE OWNER.
I'M AN ENTREPRENEUR.
479
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,577
I'M AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN
IN THE 2000-TEENS.
480
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,516
(singsongy) HOLLA!
481
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,222
(normal voice)
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?
482
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,694
THE JOB IS STILL YOURS
IF YOU WANT IT.
I WANT IT.
483
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,652
AHH! GEORGE.
(chuckles)
484
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,321
OKAY, I'M GONNA HAVE
MY LAWYER DRAW UP
485
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:46,160
SOME CONTRACTS
JUST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
YEP. OKAY.
486
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,456
SO THAT--THAT KISS--
487
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:50,457
THAT WAS... ABOUT YOU
AND STEVEN, THEN?
488
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,430
YEP.
489
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,828
BECAUSE... I MEAN...
YOU KNOW, IT FELT
490
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,200
LIKE IT WAS
ABOUT YOU AND ME.
491
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,609
NO. IT WASN'T.
492
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,589
(switch clicks)
493
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,828
(indistinct conversations)
494
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,203
SO HE'S NOT GAY?
495
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:25,162
NO. BUT HE IS MARRIED.
496
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:29,042
OKAY. SO... WE'RE LOOKING AT
A SISTER-WIFE SITUATION HERE.
497
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,941
RIGHT.
498
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,173
SO LOSE THE HAT.
499
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,909
(amplified voice)
ANNOUNCEMENT, EVERYBODY.
500
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,313
ANNOUNCEMENT.
501
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,875
AS I'M SURE YOU HEARD BY NOW,
502
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:41,553
CHATSWIN HIGH HAD ITS VERY OWN
UNDERCOVER NARCOTICS OFFICER
503
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,584
SNOOPING AROUND THE SCHOOL
FOR ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES.
504
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:47,791
(chair scrapes floor)
LAXATIVES ARE NOT ILLEGAL.
505
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,164
(students murmur)
506
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,792
ANYWHO, I JUST WANT EVERYONE
TO REMEMBER
507
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:57,028
THAT IF SOMEONE OFFERS YOU DRUGS
OF ANY KIND, SAY NO.
508
00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:00,926
AND IF A STRANGER OFFERS
TO DRIVE YOU HOME FROM SCHOOL,
509
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,700
SAY NO.
510
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:06,769
AND IF THE CAFETERIA EVER SERVES
VEAL MEDALLIONS AGAIN,
511
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,939
SAY NO.
512
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,838
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS.
513
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,280
(murmuring)
514
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,881
OH, AND ONE MORE ANNOUNCEMENT.
I'M GAY.
515
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,219
(students gasp)
SO FROM THIS POINT ON,
I WILL BE DRIVING A MIATA.
516
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,946
PLEASE LET ME KNOW
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.
517
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,028
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
THE ENCOURAGEMENT, TESSA.
518
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,498
I CAN FINALLY BE OPEN
ABOUT MY PASSION
519
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,907
FOR DEEP V-NECK T-SHIRTS
AND ANTI-AGING FACE CREAMS
520
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:42,841
AND ICE SKATING IN AUGUST
AND STEPHEN SONDHEIM
521
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,679
AND DIEUX DU STADE...
522
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:48,384
SO JOSH WASN'T GAY, AND DONSKY
WAS GOING TO JUVIE,
523
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,748
BUT AT LEAST SOMETHING GOOD
CAME OUT OF ALL THIS,
524
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,987
AND THAT SOMETHING
WAS MR. WOLFE.
525
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,292
..."CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF."
35125
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