All language subtitles for Suburgatory.S01E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:02,735 (Tessa) IT TOOK ME A COUPLE OF WEEKS, 2 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:06,013 BUT I FINALLY FOUND MY FAVORITE THING TO DO IN THE SUBURBS-- 3 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,014 SLEEP. 4 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,935 (knock on door) 5 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,279 TESSA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET'S GO, BEFORE SHE GETS HERE. 6 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:15,882 SHE STILL WATERING? 7 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,749 (mumbles) STILL WATERING. 8 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,218 WHY DIDN'T YOU SET AN ALARM? 9 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,617 I KEPT HITTING SNOOZE. 10 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,618 I WAS HAVING THE MOST AMAZING DREAM ABOUT MANHATTAN. 11 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,091 YEAH? WHAT WAS SO AMAZING? 12 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,759 WE WERE STILL LIVING THERE. 13 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,057 HA HA. 14 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,699 I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE-- 15 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:33,073 SHEILA'S CONSTANT INVITATIONS TO DINNER EVERY SINGLE MORNING. 16 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,074 I'M RUNNING OUT OF CREATIVE WAYS TO SAY NO. 17 00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:39,406 HAVE YOU TRIED RUNNING HER OVER WITH YOUR CAR? THAT'S CREATIVE. 18 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,938 (squeaks) 19 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,180 OH, NO. HOSE IS OFF. SHE'S COMING, SHE'S COMING! 20 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,747 MY BACKPACK! IT'S UPSTAIRS! 21 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,675 NO TIME! GO! GO! 22 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,365 UHH! 23 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:17,608 (George, lowered voice) GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 24 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,948 AAH! 25 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,382 I'M STUCK. SAVE YOURSELF. 26 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,223 GO! 27 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,694 NO, DAD. I WON'T LEAVE YOU. 28 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,093 TESSA, GO. 29 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,656 (whispers) JUST GO. 30 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,826 (George groans) 31 00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,267 WELL, HIYA, NEIGHBOR! 32 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,002 DINNER TONIGHT? 33 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,497 (sighing) 34 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,511 Captioned by Closed Captioning Services, Inc. 35 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:50,413 (woman) * LAST NIGHT I HAD A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE * 36 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,508 * LA-DA-DA-DA, DA, DA, DA, DA * 37 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:57,321 BIOSCIENTISTS HAVE DETERMINED THAT WHEN YOU REMOVE AN ANIMAL 38 00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,985 FROM ITS INDIGENOUS ENVIRONMENT-- 39 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,762 FOR EXAMPLE, THE GENTOO PENGUIN-- 40 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,262 AND DEPOSIT SAID ANIMAL 41 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,355 INTO A REGION THAT IT'S NOT ACCUSTOMED TO, 42 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:11,127 IT IS FAR MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO INFECTIOUS DISEASE. 43 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,569 ANY QUESTIONS? 44 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,274 YES, DALIA. 45 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,236 I HATE BIRDS. 46 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,705 THANK YOU, DALIA. 47 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:23,442 I HAD TO REMIND MYSELF THAT, AS BAD AS I HAD IT, 48 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,911 THE GENTOO PENGUIN HAD IT WORSE. 49 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,050 (indistinct conversations) 50 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,187 OH! 51 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,992 HEY, LISA. 52 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,563 I HEARD THAT YOUR FAMILY WAS COMING OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT, 53 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:38,993 AND I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR MY FAMILY. 54 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,389 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 55 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,801 YOUR FAMILY'S NEVER AS BAD AS YOU THINK THEY ARE. 56 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:43,663 (Ryan) HEY, LISA! 57 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:47,241 THIS IS HOW DAD DOES IT TO MOM. 58 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,740 UNLESS THEY ARE. 59 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,179 YOU READY TO DO THIS? 60 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,746 WAIT. BEFORE WE GO OVER THERE, 61 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,223 WE SHOULD REALLY FIGURE OUT AN EXIT STRATEGY. 62 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,783 OH, THAT'S SMART. OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? 63 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,421 AFTER DESSERT, I'LL SAY WE'D BETTER GO 64 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,616 'CAUSE YOU GOT TO STUDY FOR A MATH TEST TOMORROW. 65 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,818 COME ON, DAD! 66 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,359 I DON'T HAVE TO STUDY. I KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY. 67 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,485 YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME, YOUNG LADY, 68 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,201 AND YOU ENDED UP WITH A "D"! 69 00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:17,804 (dog barking in distance) GOOD. 70 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,725 THAT FELT GOOD. 71 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,500 BUT WHAT IF IT'S BEFORE DESSERT, AND ONE OF US CAN'T TAKE IT? 72 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,611 I THINK WE NEED A CODE WORD. 73 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,283 UH, "PICKLES." 74 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,241 "PICKLES"? 75 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,680 WHAT, YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER? 76 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:31,984 FINE. "PICKLES." 77 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,605 ONE OF US CITES "PICKLES," 78 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:37,221 THE OTHER CITES IRRITABLE BOWEL, AND WE'RE GONE. GOT IT? 79 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:41,315 GOT IT. (sighs) LET'S DO THIS. 80 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:44,389 WHAT IS KEEPING YOU TWO? 81 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,758 (smacking lips) 82 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:49,426 (silverware clinks) 83 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,297 DO YOU WANT YOUR BONES? 84 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,172 YES. 85 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,073 SO, GEORGE, YOU NEVER DID SAY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR WIFE. 86 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:58,606 FRED! IT'S AN HONEST QUESTION. 87 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,612 IF GEORGE WANTS, HE CAN SAY "NO COMMENT." 88 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,144 NO COMMENT. 89 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,839 (Sheila and Fred laugh) 90 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,511 SERIOUSLY, WHAT HAPPENED? 91 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,479 UH, WE SEPARATED 15 YEARS AGO. 92 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,919 I SAW THIS SHOW ONCE 93 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,293 WHERE THESE TWINS ATTACHED AT THE FACE WERE SEPARATED. 94 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,793 IT WAS AWESOME. I THINK ONE OF 'EM DIED. 95 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,385 I SAW THAT, TOO. I THINK ONE OF 'EM DID DIE. 96 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,288 (Fred and Ryan laugh) 97 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,790 ARE YOU ALL DONE HERE, HONEY? 98 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,661 SO BACK TO GEORGE'S FAILED MARRIAGE. YOU CHEAT? 99 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,901 DAD? I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF CHEATING ON SHEILA. 100 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:29,866 COULDN'T. SHE WATCHES ME LIKE A HAWK... AND I LOVE IT. 101 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:30,897 (slap) WHOO! (laughs) 102 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,741 MAY I BE EXCUSED? HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME. 103 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:35,908 WHAT ABOUT DESSERT? 104 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,036 LISA CAN'T HAVE DESSERT. 105 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,250 WHY--WHY NOT? THE SUGAR? 106 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,052 NO. (doorbell rings) 107 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,683 OH! I GOT IT. IT'S FOR ME. LISA HAS NO FRIENDS. 108 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,290 DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HONEY. YOU HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS. 109 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:46,853 (mouths words) (door opens) 110 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,090 WE'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS. 111 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,755 HEY, UH, CAREFUL NOT TO SET OFF THE SMOKE DETECTOR 112 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,294 WITH THE GUN SHOW. 113 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,900 (Sheila) OOH! (laughs) 114 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,203 YOU GIRLS WANT TO JOIN? 115 00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,934 OH, NO, THANK YOU. I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE GUN SHOW. 116 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,100 I'VE ALREADY SEEN IT. 117 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,098 COME NOW. YOU GUYS HEAD ON DOWN TO THE RUMPUS ROOM. 118 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,440 FRED AND I HAVE SOME GROWN-UP QUESTIONS FOR GEORGE. 119 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,906 OOH. UH, CAN I GO DOWN TO THE RUMPUS ROOM, TOO? 120 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,175 (both laugh) 121 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,683 NO, YOU MAY NOT. 122 00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,445 *** 123 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,554 (rattling, bell dinging) 124 00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,586 JOEY. TRUTH OR DARE? 125 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,362 MAYBE I DID SOMETHING WRONG IN A PREVIOUS LIFE. 126 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,722 MAYBE I WAS EVA BRAUN. 127 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:27,131 RYAN. TRUTH OR DARE? WAIT. OKAY, DARE. 128 00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,734 I HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE IN MY ROOM. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 129 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,567 I DARE YOU TO KISS A LESBIAN. 130 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,443 I'M NOT KISSING MY SISTER. 131 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,472 NOT YOUR SISTER, YOU IDIOT--HER. 132 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,937 (pinball rolling) 133 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,905 TESSA. 134 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,013 *** 135 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,744 UM, THANKS, UH, BUT I'M... (clears throat) 136 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,511 I'M NOT REALLY A PART OF THIS GAME. 137 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,219 YOU ARE NOW, BEEYOTCH. 138 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,751 *** 139 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:54,587 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I HAVE TO HAVE A BARBECUE? 140 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:57,155 NOT A BARBECUE, GEORGE-- THE BARBECUE. 141 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:58,464 HERE'S THE DEALIO, GEORGE. 142 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,186 IF YOU MOVE INTO THIS NEIGHBORHOOD 143 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,530 AND DON'T HAVE "THE BARBECUE," YOU'LL BE SHUNNED. OSTRACIZED. 144 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,596 EXCOMMUNICATED. AND WHY? 145 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,965 BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE BARBECUE. BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE BARBECUE. 146 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,404 THIS IS CHATSWIN, 147 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,369 AND WHEN A NEW FAMILY MOVES HERE AND DOESN'T HAVE THE BARBECUE, 148 00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:12,208 IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 149 00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,442 AND IF PEOPLE DON'T WANT US, WE DON'T WANT THEM. 150 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,478 THAT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE. 151 00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:16,483 SO HAVE THE BARBECUE. 152 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,484 AND EAT YOUR CAKE. 153 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:19,375 IT'S GOOD. 154 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,517 LOOK, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU INCLUDING ME 155 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,493 IN YOUR REINDEER GAMES, SINCERELY, 156 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:28,522 BUT, UM, IN THIS CASE, I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO POLITELY DECLINE. 157 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,119 (sighs) ONCE SOMEONE DARES YOU TO DO SOMETHING, 158 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:34,501 YOU KIND OF HAVE TO DO IT, OR ELSE YOU'RE A WUSS. 159 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:38,372 YEAH, I'M--I'M FAMILIAR WITH THE RULES OF... 160 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,232 WUSS-IOSITY, 161 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,770 BUT THERE ARE LOOPHOLES. 162 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,636 YOU KNOW WHAT A LOOPHOLE IS, DON'T... YOU? 163 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:48,636 SURE. IT'S A HOLE WITH A LOOP IN IT. 164 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,039 (Kari Kimmel) * AND LET'S LIVE IT UP * 165 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,980 * TURN IT OUT, TIME IS FEELING RIGHT * 166 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,946 * NO MORE WAITING * 167 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,185 * OH, TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT, WE'RE GONNA GO * 168 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,251 * OH * 169 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,249 (bell dinging, flippers clacking) 170 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,190 * AND START THIS SHOW * 171 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,955 * OH, OH, OH, OH * 172 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,963 PICKLES, PICKLES, PICKLES, PICKLES! 173 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:08,858 (door slams) 174 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,329 P-PICKLES GIVE HER IRRITABLE BOWEL. 175 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:12,868 IT'S A BRINE THING. 176 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,073 ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR DINNER. 177 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,606 (door opens and closes) 178 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,711 I DIDN'T SERVE PICKLES. 179 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:23,579 RYAN SHAY IS A NEANDERTHAL. 180 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:24,854 HOW COULD I HAVE KISSED A PERSON WHO IS, 181 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,182 BY ALL ACCOUNTS, A KNUCKLE-DRAGGER... 182 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,876 (cell phone vibrating) AND ACTUALLY LIKE IT? 183 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,850 (alarm chirps) 184 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:32,649 (beep) 185 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,820 BUT IT'S A NEW DAY. 186 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,528 I WAS DETERMINED TO PRESS ON 187 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,031 AND ACT AS THOUGH LAST NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED. 188 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,633 (man) * YOU RIDIN' WITH ME? * * UH-HUH * 189 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,925 * YOU WANT THIS MONEY, LET'S GET IT * 190 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,966 * IS YOU DOWN FOR ME? * * UH-HUH * 191 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,902 * I AIN'T FUNNY, I'M COMMITTED, DON'T BE LYIN' TO ME * 192 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,567 * I AIN'T THE ONE TO DO THE KIDDIN' * 193 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,866 * HEY, LITTLE MAMA * 194 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,267 * YOU SHOULD LET ME BE YOUR DADDY * 195 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,808 * IS YOU RIDIN' WITH ME? * * UH-HUH * 196 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,113 * YOU WANT THIS MONEY, LET'S GET IT * 197 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,714 * IS YOU DOWN FOR ME? * * UH-HUH * 198 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:56,776 * I AIN'T FUNNY, I'M COMMITTED * 199 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,214 * DON'T BE LYING TO ME * 200 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,708 * I AIN'T THE ONE TO DO THE KIDDIN' * 201 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,010 * HEY, LITTLE MAMA * 202 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,281 * YOU SHOULD LET ME BE YOUR DADDY * 203 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,819 * PROBABLY IN THE STRIP CLUB * 204 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,085 * WITH THE THICK GIRLS LOOKIN' * 205 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,693 * WHEN THEY FIND OUT I'M A STAR * 206 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,155 * 'CAUSE I'M SHININ' EVERY NIGHT * 207 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,922 * EVERYBODY CAN SEE IT * 208 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,531 WHY AM I WAVING? STOP WAVING. 209 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,034 WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME? 210 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,425 I WASN'T MYSELF. MAYBE I WAS LOW BLOOD SUGAR. 211 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,698 *** 212 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,403 YOU OKAY, TESS? 213 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,841 WHAT? WHY? 214 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:31,577 YOU'RE... POURING MILK THAT ISN'T THERE. 215 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,045 WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? 216 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,223 LAST NIGHT? 217 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,222 WITH THE PICKLES. 218 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,553 OH! THE PICKLES. 219 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,349 OH. YEAH. THAT WAS NOTHING. 220 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,461 THE, UM, RUMPUS ROOM JUST HAD A LOT OF WOOD PANELING. 221 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,764 IT FELT LIKE AN ASYLUM. 222 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,086 A WOOD-PANELED ASYLUM? 223 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,700 YEAH. 224 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,172 A RUSTIC, HIGH-END WOOD-PANELED ASYLUM. 225 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,432 LOOK IT UP. 226 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,641 LISA! 227 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,673 (sighs) HEY. 228 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,308 I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND MY BROTHER. 229 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,182 NOTHING IS GOING ON. THEN WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT 230 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,012 THIS MORNING WHEN HE WAS WASHING THE CAR? 231 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,207 THIS IS PATHETIC. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT. 232 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,509 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE. 233 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,281 IT WAS SICKENING. 234 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,549 (indistinct conversations) 235 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,687 LISA WAS RIGHT. 236 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,756 IT WAS SICKENING. I WAS SICK. 237 00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:21,825 I WAS TERMINAL, AND I HAD TO FIND A CURE. 238 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,627 INTELLECTUAL, NEUROTIC, SELF-LOATHING JEW. 239 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,900 MUCH MORE MY TYPE. 240 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,468 COULD HE BE THE RYAN SHAY ANTIDOTE? 241 00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,937 HI. I'M TESSA. 242 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,266 I'M EVAN. 243 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,081 WANNA MAKE OUT? 244 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,813 WHAT? I MEAN... WHAT? 245 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,079 (thud, coins clatter) 246 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,190 DAMN IT, EVAN! 247 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,126 I FEEL NOTHING. NOTHING. 248 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,662 SORRY? 249 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,997 NOT AS SORRY AS I AM. 250 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,125 AS YOU WERE, EVAN. 251 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,068 (whispers) WHAT? 252 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,265 YOU HAVEN'T HAD THE BARBECUE YET? 253 00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,266 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 254 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,537 SERIOUSLY? THAT'S FOR REAL? 255 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,935 YEAH, THAT'S FOR REAL. 256 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,307 I'M SURPRISED PEOPLE ARE STILL TALKING TO YOU. 257 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,506 I'M SURPRISED I'M STILL TALKING TO YOU. 258 00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,648 (snip) OW! 259 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,623 JAVIER, YOU JUST NICKED MY EAR. 260 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,093 THAT'S STRIKE TWO. JUST SEND OUT AN EVITE. 261 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,991 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I'M GONNA DO THIS, REALISTICALLY. 262 00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,123 ALL I'VE GOT IS THIS OLD HIBACHI I USED IN MANHATTAN. 263 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,159 AN OLD HI-WHATCHI? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 264 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,525 ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. 265 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,904 JAVIER, COVER YOUR EARS. 266 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,904 I'M GONNA LET YOU BORROW MY GRILL. 267 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,266 OH. OKAY. COOL. THANKS. 268 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,644 "OH. OKAY. COOL. THANKS." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 269 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,105 I NEVER LET ANYBODY BORROW MY GRILL. 270 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,972 YOU SHOULD BE KISSING THE GROUND I WALK ON. 271 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,111 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. YOU THINK IT'S BIG ENOUGH? 272 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,905 IS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY BIG ENOUGH? 273 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,777 IS J.LO'sASS BIG ENOUGH? (chuckles) 274 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,306 FOR ME, IT IS. (chuckles) 275 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,920 (chuckles) YEAH, I THINK IT'S BIG ENOUGH. 276 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,391 WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE. 277 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,692 YOU'RE JUST THE GENTLEMAN I WANTED TO TALK TO. 278 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,155 HEY, IS THIS ABOUT THE BARBECUE? 279 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,493 NO, IT'S NOT, 280 00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,727 BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE IT BEFORE THINGS GET UNPLEASANT. 281 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,304 GEORGE, TAKE A WALK WITH ME. 282 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,003 OKAY. 283 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,265 ALL RIGHT, JAVIER. 284 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,706 LET'S TRY THE HOT SHAVE ONE MORE TIME. 285 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,843 WHAT'S GOING ON? 286 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,137 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW, 287 00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,338 I MEAN, CONSIDERING THE WHOLE CONDOM SITUATION 288 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,880 THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE, 289 00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:21,816 ACCORDING TO DALIA, WHO WAS THERE, 290 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:25,992 TESSA WENT TO FIRST BASE WITH RYAN SHAY LAST NIGHT, 291 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,193 AND APPARENTLY IT WAS HOT. 292 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:30,885 UH-HUH. WHAT-- WHAT'S FIRST BASE AGAIN? 293 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,628 WELL, IT'S REGIONAL, BUT HERE-- 294 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,292 OPEN MOUTH, SOME TONGUE. 295 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,871 WELL, THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT. TESSA CAN'T STAND RYAN SHAY. 296 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:40,531 WELL, OF COURSE TESSA CAN'T STAND RYAN SHAY, 297 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,770 BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ROCK-HARD ABS? 298 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,506 (laughs) I MEAN, IF YOU... 299 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,442 IT D--YOU KNOW WHAT? 300 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,177 IF NEIGHBORS DON'T LOOK OUT FOR NEIGHBORS, 301 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,812 WE COULD END UP HAVING LITTLE BABY NEIGHBORS. 302 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,209 (cell phone chirps) 303 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,750 OH! I JUST GOT AN EVITE TO YOUR BARBECUE ON SUNDAY. 304 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,917 O.M.G. I AM THERE. THANK YOU. 305 00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:01,856 WHAT? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 306 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,792 ALL GOOD FOR SUNDAY, BUDDY. 307 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,364 (school bell rings) MEATBALL SUB-- 308 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,198 TWO OF THE LEAST SEXY WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, 309 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,433 UNLESS RYAN SHAY WAS ON THE OTHER END OF IT. 310 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,638 I WAS BETTER THAN THIS. 311 00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:20,673 I WAS TURKEY AND WHEAT, AND I HAD TO REMEMBER THAT. 312 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,110 TESSA. 313 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,845 MEET ME BEHIND THE BLEACHERS, 2:00. 314 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,482 OKAY. (chuckles) 315 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,893 I NEEDED GUIDANCE, 316 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:38,085 SO I WENT TO THE ONLY PLACE I COULD THINK OF. 317 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:41,358 SO, TESSA, WHAT GUIDANCE CAN I GIVE YOU TODAY? 318 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:46,828 (sighs) I AM BEING CONSUMED BY MY DESIRE FOR SOMETHING, 319 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,600 SOMETHING THAT IS NOT GOOD FOR ME. 320 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,599 YOU'RE ADDICTED TO DRUGS. 321 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:52,871 NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. 322 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,640 ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TOLD, 323 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,037 A LOT OF PEOPLE FROM THE INNER CITY ARE, 324 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,550 AND I'VE SEEN "RENT." 325 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,251 I'M FROM MANHATTAN, AND IT'S NOT DRUGS. (scoffs) 326 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,254 IT'S A GUY THAT I'M INCREDIBLY ATTRACTED TO 327 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,388 BUT DON'T LIKE. 328 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,893 INTELLECTUALLY, I KNOW HE'S NOT GOOD FOR ME, 329 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,156 BUT I CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM HIM. 330 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:14,364 SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE HAVE 331 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,597 WITH THEIR DRUG DEALERS. 332 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,032 HE'S NOT A DRUG DEALER! 333 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,427 HE'S JUST... STUPID, 334 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,069 WHICH MEANS I MUST BE STUPID FOR LIKING HIM. 335 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,635 MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING MORE TO HIM THAN MEETS THE EYE. 336 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,444 AFTER ALL, WHEN PEOPLE LOOK AT ME, 337 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,276 ALL THEY SEE IS SOMEONE WHO'S NORTH KOREAN, 338 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,112 BUT WHEN THEY DIG A LITTLE DEEPER, 339 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,448 THEY'RE ALSO SURPRISED TO LEARN 340 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:36,182 THAT I'M PARTIALLY... SOUTH KOREAN. 341 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,249 RYAN WASN'T SOUTH KOREAN... 342 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,219 *** 343 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:45,589 BUT HE CERTAINLY WAS A GOOD KISSER. 344 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,428 I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE MAKING OUT BEHIND THE BLEACHERS. 345 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,995 IT IS SO CLICHE. 346 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,073 WHO'S CLICHE? IS SHE, LIKE, A SINGER? 347 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,932 (woman) * FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD * 348 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,071 DON'T SPEAK. 349 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,065 * THE FURTHER THAT YOU GO * 350 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,336 BUT WE HAD TO SPEAK. 351 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,005 IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I WAS GOING TO FIND OUT 352 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,043 IF THERE WAS MORE TO RYAN THAN MET MY LIPS. 353 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:04,679 * THERE'S A BOY DOWN IN NEW YORK CITY * 354 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,754 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FOREIGN FILM? 355 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,083 "AVATAR"? 356 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,918 THAT'S NOT A FOREIGN FILM. 357 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,223 IT TAKES PLACE ON A FOREIGN PLANET. 358 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,955 AND JAMES CAMERON IS CANADIAN. 359 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,063 PARTIAL CREDIT. 360 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:21,085 * BABE, I GOTTA ROLL * 361 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,201 * TO THE NEXT SHORE * 362 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,803 IF YOU COULD HAVE DINNER WITH ANY FAMOUS PERSON, 363 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,774 LIVING OR DEAD, WHO WOULD IT BE? 364 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,343 SCARLETT JOHANSSON. 365 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,502 DEAD. 366 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,840 I HAD NEVER BEEN SO DISGUSTED WITH SOMEONE 367 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,176 IN MY ENTIRE LIFE... 368 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,042 (sighs) 369 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,949 AND THAT SOMEONE WAS ME. 370 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,992 OH, SO THAT--THAT KID FROM ACROSS THE STREET-- 371 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,463 WHAT'S HIS-- WHAT'S HIS NAME? BRIAN? 372 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,261 RYAN. 373 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,532 RYAN. THAT'S IT. YEAH. 374 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,562 NICE KID? 375 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,057 I-I REALLY WOULDN'T KNOW. DO YOU WANT MY CARROTS? 376 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,300 UH, I'M GOOD. HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE KID. 377 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,674 (clears throat) SO WHAT'S THE DEAL, 378 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:07,736 HAVE YOU GUYS EVER TALKED OR... 379 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,877 ANYTHING? 380 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,042 THIS IS YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE. YOURS. 381 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,411 MY FAULT? WHAT--WHAT'S MY FAULT? 382 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,609 YOU PULLED ME OUT OF MY INDIGENOUS REGION 383 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,951 AND JUST... (blows raspberry) 384 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,846 DROPPED ME INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT HABITAT! 385 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,117 OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOUR CARROTS. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE CARROTS, GEORGE. 386 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,318 IT'S ME. I AM A GENTOO PENGUIN. 387 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,960 I AM A SICK, DISEASED GENTOO PENGUIN, 388 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,857 AND I AM DYING HERE! 389 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,498 (chair scrapes floor) 390 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:39,814 (laughs) OHH. 391 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:40,972 WHAT DO YOU THINK? I LOVE HER. 392 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,381 (George) WELL-- I CALL HER SALLY. 393 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,012 YEAH, WELL, SALLY JUST BURNED A HOLE IN MY RETINA. 394 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,208 SHE'S A POWERFUL LADY, GEORGE. 395 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,549 UH-HUH. 396 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,754 IF SHE WASN'T MADE OF STEEL, I'D TAKE HER AS A LOVER. 397 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,447 GREAT TURNOUT, GEORGE. YEAH. 398 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,189 I AM SORRY MY HUSBAND COULDN'T BE HERE, 399 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:58,334 BUT HE TRAVELS A LOT ON BUSINESS. 400 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,561 OKAY. HOW--HOW'S THE GUACAMOLE? 401 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,697 IT'S KILLER. YOU SMUSH IT YOURSELF? 402 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:03,702 I DID, ACTUALLY, YES. 403 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,033 YOU DID? YES. 404 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:08,068 SPEAKING OF SMUSHING, ANY INTEL ON WHAT HAPPENED 405 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:10,565 BETWEEN TESSA AND RYAN IN THE RUMPUS ROOM, 406 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,607 OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT, "THE HUMPUS IN THE RUMPUS"? 407 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,113 UH, YEAH, WELL, NOT REALLY. 408 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,775 I TRIED TO BROACH THE SUBJECT WITH HER, 409 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,013 BUT SHE JUST GOT UPSET 410 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,078 AND SAID SOMETHING CRYPTIC ABOUT PENGUINS. 411 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,877 OOH. THAT MIGHT BE INTERNET TALK FOR "PENIS." 412 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,219 I'LL YAHOO! IT AND GET BACK TO YOU. 413 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,054 I GOTTA BE HONEST. I'M NOT OVERLY CONCERNED. 414 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,749 THAT KID'S A TOTAL BONEHEAD. 415 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,020 WELL, SO IS RYAN. 416 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,260 I WAS TALKING ABOUT RYAN. 417 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,425 OKAY. 418 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,233 (clacks) 419 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:35,504 (children laughing) 420 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,302 HEY. 421 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,204 HEY. 422 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,765 YOU STILL MAD AT ME? 423 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,472 MAD? NO. 424 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,435 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T HELP THE WAY YOU FEEL... 425 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,074 I GUESS. 426 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,339 YEAH. (chuckles) EXACTLY. 427 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,039 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE CHIPS. 428 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,611 CHIPS ARE MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. 429 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,549 I COULD EAT, LIKE, 430 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,083 TWO OR THREE BAGS AT ONCE. (chuckles) 431 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,078 (laughs) I KNOW, RIGHT? 432 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,779 BUT I DON'T. 433 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,250 YOU KNOW WHY? 434 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,219 BECAUSE THEY'RE BAD FOR ME. 435 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:04,188 AS MUCH AS I WANT TO PUT THAT ENTIRE BAG INSIDE MY MOUTH, 436 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,727 I KNOW THAT IF I DO, I'LL GET DEHYDRATED, 437 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,232 I'LL BREAK OUT, AND I MIGHT GET DIARRHEA. 438 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,625 DIARRHEA? FROM CHIPS? 439 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,926 SO I DON'T, BECAUSE I'VE GOT WILLPOWER, 440 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,040 AND I CAN'T BE MAD AT YOU FOR NOT HAVING WILLPOWER. 441 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,005 ALL I CAN DO IS PITY YOU, 442 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,713 WHICH I DO. 443 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,346 OKAY. WELL, THANKS. 444 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,115 SO WONDERFUL TO BE HERE, GEORGE. 445 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,353 SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 446 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,318 MM. THE HYDRANGEAS ARE JUST... WOW. 447 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,786 OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 448 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,864 I GOTTA TELL YOU, IT'S--IT'S SO NICE TO SEE 449 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,493 A GAY COUPLE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 450 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,388 MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M BACK IN THE CITY. (chuckles) 451 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,461 THERE'S A GAY COUPLE? WHERE? 452 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,930 GOSSIP. I LOVE HEARING IT BEFORE MY WIFE. DISH. 453 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:46,928 DISH. DISH. 454 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,139 (Noah) GEORGE. 455 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,971 HI. (lowered voice) WE GOT AN EMERGENCY. 456 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:54,636 SHE'S DEAD. SALLY'S DEAD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE'S DEAD? 457 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,077 SHE'S OUT OF PROPANE! 458 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,213 OKAY, SO I'LL GO PICK UP SOME MORE. 459 00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,607 NO MORE. NO. SHE TAKES THE BIG TANKS. 460 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,279 THE ONLY PLACE THAT SELLS THE BIG TANKS IS ARTIE'S. 461 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,378 ARTIE'S IS CLOSED ON SUNDAYS! ARTIE! 462 00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,650 OKAY, KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. GIVE ME A SECOND TO THINK. 463 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,119 GEORGE. 464 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,488 (clanks) WHAT'S THE E.T.A. ON THE BURGERS? 465 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,686 THE NATIVES ARE GETTING RESTLESS. 466 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,187 MAN CANNOT LIVE BY CHIPS AND GUAC ALONE. 467 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,200 FRED, LET ME WALK THIS DOG. 468 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,462 FIVE, TEN MINUTES, TOPS. 469 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,369 IF YOU ASK ME, CALLING A BARBECUE A BARBECUE 470 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,071 WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING A BARBECUE WOULD BE WORSE 471 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,244 THAN NOT HAVING A BARBECUE AT ALL. 472 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,472 DIDN'T ASK YOU. 473 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,266 BOY, SOMEONE HAD A BIG SCOOP OF CRAB SALAD. 474 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,609 (chuckles) YEAH, A BIG SCOOP. 475 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:28,784 (sighs) DAMN IT, FRED. 476 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,241 IF YOU CAN'T PLUS IT, YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE. 477 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,979 RYAN, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. 478 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,247 IS IT MY BREATH? 479 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,776 BECAUSE I SKIPPED THE GUACAMOLE. 480 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,350 NO. YOUR BREATH IS FINE. 481 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,489 IT'S ME. OHH. 482 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,053 YOU HAD THE GUACAMOLE. 483 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,791 NO. I MEAN, A LITTLE, YEAH, BUT-- 484 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,116 I COULD TASTE IT, 485 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,692 BUT I WASN'T GONNA SAY ANYTHING. (chuckles) 486 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,629 LOOK, RYAN, I LIKE YOU. 487 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:50,496 I DO. 488 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,703 I MEAN, YOU'RE GOOD-LOOKING, 489 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,236 AND YOU'RE... 490 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,742 REALLY GOOD-LOOKING. 491 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,973 THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 492 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,567 NOTHING. 493 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,839 IT'S JUST... 494 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,138 YOU'RE A BAG OF CHIPS. 495 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,040 A BAG OF CHIPS? 496 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,381 YEAH, YOU KNOW HOW THEY TASTE REALLY GOOD, 497 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,106 BUT THEY'RE VOID OF ALL NUTRITIONAL VALUE, 498 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:10,621 AND IN THE END, YOU KINDA REGRET EATING THEM? 499 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,553 NO. 500 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,949 OH. 501 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,561 WELL, YOU DO. 502 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,123 OH, YEAH? 503 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:20,731 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? 504 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:21,533 YOU'RE PEANUT BRITTLE. 505 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,164 EXCUSE ME? THAT'S RIGHT. 506 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,800 YOU'RE BIG CHUNKS OF STICKY STUFF 507 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,804 THAT DOESN'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S SWEET OR SALTY, 508 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,696 AND YOU GOTTA BREAK IT UP INTO LITTLE PIECES. 509 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,098 WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING TO YOU. 510 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:35,280 I'M BREAKING UP INTO LITTLE PIECES! 511 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:41,608 AS RYAN AND HIS SIX-PACK WALKED OUT OF THE LAUNDRY ROOM, 512 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,151 IT HIT ME. 513 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:46,016 I WOULD NEVER SEE THE GUN SHOW AGAIN. 514 00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:47,115 (clanks) 515 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,616 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 516 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,818 HIS NAME IS JOE. 517 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:50,959 HE'S FROM NEW YORK, 518 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,493 AND HE RUNS ON OLD-FASHIONED CHARCOAL BRIQUETTES. 519 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,829 NOW LET'S LIGHT HIS FACE ON FIRE 520 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,034 AND SERVE THESE PEOPLE SOME NEW YORK-STYLE DOGS. 521 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:02,967 THE ONLY THING MORE VORACIOUS THAN MY APPETITE FOR RYAN 522 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:06,765 WAS CHATSWIN'S APPETITE FOR BARBECUE. 523 00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,109 (indistinct conversations) 524 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:12,175 SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT GENTOO PENGUINS EAT IN THE WILD, 525 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,445 BUT SINCE YOU'RE IN CAPTIVITY, 526 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:15,754 YOU WANT A HOT DOG? 527 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,183 THANKS. 528 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,721 THERE HE IS. 529 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,046 LOVED YOUR NEW YORK WIENERS, GEORGE. 530 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,721 I COULD HAVE EATEN A DOZEN OF THEM. 531 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,060 UTTERLY DELICIOUS. 532 00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,964 WE'LL HAVE TO SNEAK INTO A METROPOLIS SOMETIME, 533 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,256 WHEN OUR WIVES AREN'T LOOKING FOR A SAUSAGE FIX. 534 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,999 OH. TOODLES, GEORGE. 535 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,103 TOODLES. 536 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,204 MWAH. (chuckles) 537 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,696 TOODLES. (chuckles) 538 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,338 WOW. 539 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,214 SO I GUESS OUR BARBECUE WAS A SUCCESS. 540 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,673 HIGH FIVE. 541 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,541 (sighs) 542 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,211 A YEAR AGO, IF YOU'D HAVE TOLD ME 543 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,609 I'D BE HIGH-FIVING OVER A BARBECUE, 544 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,620 I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU A LIAR. 545 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,422 YEAH, WELL, IF YOU TOLD ME I'D BE FIRST IN LINE 546 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,294 TO SEE THE GUN SHOW, I'D HAVE SLAPPED MYSELF. 547 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,294 (chuckles) 548 00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,415 DON'T SLAP YOURSELF. 549 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,759 IT WAS A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE GUN SHOW. 550 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,855 I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT. 551 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:01,957 HEY, I'VE BEEN THERE. 552 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,528 I-I ONCE DATED THIS INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, 553 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:09,538 WHO I COULD HARDLY STAND BEING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH. 554 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:13,773 I LOVE WHEN YOU TELL STORIES ABOUT MOM. 555 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,646 EAT YOUR HOT DOG. 36835

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.