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1
00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:08,862
- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!
2
00:00:08,931 --> 00:00:11,827
And I live with my parents!
3
00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:12,896
Ow!
4
00:00:12,965 --> 00:00:14,482
This is my dad.
5
00:00:14,551 --> 00:00:16,758
[zany music]
6
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:19,448
This is my mom.
[laughs]
7
00:00:19,517 --> 00:00:22,620
This is my sister. She's shy.
8
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,827
This is my grandpa.
9
00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,758
This is my room!
10
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:28,793
And this...
11
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,758
? ?
12
00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:34,000
This is my show!
13
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:36,000
? ?
14
00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:42,172
- Bye, honey.
15
00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:43,517
Catch you on the flip-flop.
16
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,620
- Mwah!
17
00:00:44,724 --> 00:00:46,551
- Good luck
with your show, son.
18
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:48,655
- See you after work, Dad.
19
00:00:48,724 --> 00:00:50,241
All right, folks!
20
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,655
Give me a P.
- P!
21
00:00:52,724 --> 00:00:54,517
- Give me an A!
22
00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:55,862
[together]
A!
23
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,137
- Give me a T!
- T.
24
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,206
- Give me a, uh--
[straining]
25
00:01:00,275 --> 00:01:03,379
- Oh, uh, the next letter is R,
Patrick!
26
00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:05,724
Hmm?
What?
27
00:01:05,793 --> 00:01:07,620
- [straining]
Phew!
28
00:01:07,689 --> 00:01:08,931
Sorry.
29
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,724
I'm a little cheer loaded up
right now.
30
00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:15,827
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hands off the talent.
31
00:01:15,896 --> 00:01:18,758
- But-- but we love
"The Patrick Show."
32
00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:21,620
We just wanted to get
closer to the action.
33
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:25,000
- We want a more
immersive experience.
34
00:01:25,103 --> 00:01:26,620
[fans screaming]
35
00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:28,620
- Closer to the action?
36
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:33,172
More incursive.
Hmm.
37
00:01:33,206 --> 00:01:36,724
- Let me help you
with that idea, Patrick.
38
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:38,620
- Hmm.
39
00:01:38,655 --> 00:01:40,034
[groans]
40
00:01:40,137 --> 00:01:42,379
[grunting]
I got it!
41
00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:45,379
[machinery whirring]
42
00:01:45,448 --> 00:01:47,758
[bright music]
43
00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:51,620
- Boy, these 40-hour days
are killing me.
44
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:54,724
Can't wait to come home
and re-- oh!
45
00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:58,275
Hey, what's going on here?
46
00:01:58,344 --> 00:02:02,137
- Fans of "The Patrick Show,"
experience me like
47
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:06,344
never before with
Patrick Show Land!
48
00:02:06,413 --> 00:02:09,103
Our theme park is now open!
49
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,551
[blade rings]
- Hi-ya!
50
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,344
- This house is your--
51
00:02:13,413 --> 00:02:14,862
[crowd clamoring]
52
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:18,241
Let's see what our new land
has to offer.
53
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:20,172
Take it away, Squidina.
54
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,551
- Certainly.
55
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:25,517
There's GrandPat's
Thrilling Chairlift.
56
00:02:25,586 --> 00:02:29,068
- [whimpering]
57
00:02:29,137 --> 00:02:31,586
[screaming]
58
00:02:31,655 --> 00:02:34,655
[panicked shouting]
59
00:02:36,482 --> 00:02:38,000
[grunts]
60
00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:40,724
So that's what it's like
to be old.
61
00:02:40,758 --> 00:02:42,655
- Bunny's Bumper Vacuums!
62
00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:44,827
- Ha-ha!
- Yow!
63
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:46,413
[laughter]
64
00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:48,724
[vacuums whirring]
65
00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:49,655
[explosion]
66
00:02:49,724 --> 00:02:51,862
[both coughing]
67
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:53,241
[together]
Yay!
68
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,931
[coughing]
69
00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:57,896
- Tinkle's Toilet Plunge.
70
00:02:59,034 --> 00:02:59,965
- Whoa!
71
00:03:00,034 --> 00:03:01,620
Whoa!
72
00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:03,724
Whoa, whoa!
73
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:04,965
- [scatting]
74
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,448
[pipes clanking]
75
00:03:06,482 --> 00:03:07,620
Eh? What's that?
76
00:03:07,724 --> 00:03:08,965
[metal rumbling]
77
00:03:09,068 --> 00:03:10,517
Oh!
78
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:14,448
- And don't forget to pick up
your souvenir photo!
79
00:03:16,344 --> 00:03:19,655
- Excuse me, sir.
I live here.
80
00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:22,241
So if you don't mind,
I'm just gonna mosey on in--
81
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,241
oh!
- No cutting.
82
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:26,448
- End of the line!
83
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,206
All the way back there.
84
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,206
- Now, looky here, misters.
85
00:03:33,275 --> 00:03:35,137
I am the property owner
86
00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:38,275
and nothing is gonna keep me
from going in that...
87
00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:40,275
[screams]
House!
88
00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:43,068
[explosion]
89
00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:45,448
- Good afternoon, everyone,
90
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,034
and welcome to
the official VIP
91
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,655
Patrick Star Studios Tour.
92
00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:54,655
- [groans]
Hey, wait for me!
93
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:58,551
- Our first stop
is the bottomless couch.
94
00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:03,137
Who knows what wonders
lie inside?
95
00:04:03,206 --> 00:04:06,034
- I got $1!
- Oh!
96
00:04:06,068 --> 00:04:08,758
I found a tiny person!
97
00:04:08,827 --> 00:04:12,034
- Are you my new daddy?
98
00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,689
- I am now.
99
00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:18,586
- I want more!
100
00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:22,586
[voice fading]
Hey, it really is bottomless!
101
00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:25,206
- Bunny's Bunch o' Bubbles,
102
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:27,655
where you can get
a scrubdown
103
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:30,068
from the queen of clean
herself.
104
00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:32,862
- Feeling clean yet?
105
00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:35,482
- Yeah, I promise.
I'm clean! I'm clean!
106
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:37,827
- Ooh, there's a speck.
107
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:39,689
- No, not again.
108
00:04:39,724 --> 00:04:41,689
- [humming]
? Doo, doo, doo
109
00:04:41,758 --> 00:04:44,448
- Catch a glimpse
of our grizzled geezer
110
00:04:44,517 --> 00:04:47,137
in our GrandPat Safari.
111
00:04:47,206 --> 00:04:49,793
- Rapscallion!
[grunts]
112
00:04:49,862 --> 00:04:51,137
[yawns]
113
00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:52,517
[camera clicking]
Huh? Oh!
114
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,862
[camera clicking]
115
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:57,034
No flash photography!
116
00:04:57,689 --> 00:05:00,103
- [sniffing]
Rotting garbage
117
00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:02,310
and burning tires?
118
00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:04,793
Aw, they're having dinner
without me.
119
00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:09,448
- Patrick Show Land presents
Foods of the Kitchen!
120
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:12,000
- Finally, we get to eat!
121
00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:16,068
- All foods locally sourced
from the family fridge.
122
00:05:16,137 --> 00:05:17,172
- That's right!
123
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:19,275
We've got
trasherole leftovers,
124
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:21,206
microwaved to perfection,
125
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:24,793
last Friday's
sneaker a la mold,
126
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:26,413
and...
[gasps]
127
00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:29,931
Hey, everybody,
it's Patrick Star!
128
00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:33,827
[crowd murmuring]
129
00:05:33,896 --> 00:05:35,413
[all cheering]
130
00:05:35,517 --> 00:05:37,206
- Whoo-hoo!
131
00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:40,206
- It's him!
It's really, really him!
132
00:05:40,275 --> 00:05:42,724
Amazing.
- Ugh.
133
00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:44,413
Let's just hope the food
134
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:48,034
isn't as tasteless
as that phony costume.
135
00:05:48,103 --> 00:05:50,482
- Nuh-uh-uh!
- What gives?
136
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,034
[crowd gasping]
137
00:05:52,103 --> 00:05:55,551
- The experience isn't about
you eating the food.
138
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:59,241
It's about you
watching me eat the food.
139
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,000
[munching]
140
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:02,482
- Oh, wow.
141
00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:04,965
That is amazing.
142
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,379
- [grunts]
143
00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:11,137
Well, it's a good thing
I brought my own rations. Ah.
144
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:13,862
- No outside food
in the park either!
145
00:06:13,965 --> 00:06:16,172
Company policy.
[snapping fingers]
146
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,827
- [growling]
147
00:06:17,862 --> 00:06:20,241
- Take him away, boys.
148
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,827
[munching]
149
00:06:21,931 --> 00:06:24,517
- Let me go.
Let me go.
150
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:29,862
I'm giving Patrick Star Land
a zero star review!
151
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:33,206
- There's gotta be some way to
get through this line faster.
152
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,379
[gasps]
Family!
153
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:38,758
They'll let me into the house.
154
00:06:38,827 --> 00:06:40,586
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
155
00:06:40,655 --> 00:06:42,344
Coming through.
Don't mind me.
156
00:06:42,379 --> 00:06:44,206
Watch your head.
157
00:06:44,275 --> 00:06:46,379
- Hey, no cutting!
158
00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:51,103
- Family!
I'm so happy to see...
159
00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:54,137
you?
Oh, no!
160
00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:57,275
Someone stole their faces!
- Hey!
161
00:06:57,344 --> 00:06:59,896
[together] Back of the line,
you line cutter!
162
00:06:59,965 --> 00:07:02,034
- Uh-oh.
This way.
163
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:03,931
I'm sorry, honey.
[smooches]
164
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,724
- Ha!
- Ha!
165
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:10,310
[together]
Aha, now we got you.
166
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,241
- [sobbing]
- Great job, you two.
167
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:17,275
My son's been looking forward
to that photo all day.
168
00:07:17,344 --> 00:07:20,275
[whimsical music]
169
00:07:20,379 --> 00:07:22,000
? ?
170
00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:28,000
- This is our final stop,
and we saved the best for last.
171
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,586
- Whoa!
172
00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:33,034
[camera clicks]
- [screams]
173
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:37,551
- Watch your step
and brace yourselves for...
174
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:41,241
- The Patrick Star Experience,
175
00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:45,344
where you're the star
and a Patrick.
176
00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:47,275
- Wow.
177
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:53,517
- First, put on your official
Patrick Show Land Patrick suit.
178
00:07:53,586 --> 00:07:55,758
- Oh!
179
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:57,620
- Out of my way!
180
00:07:57,724 --> 00:08:02,482
[shivers]
It's like I'm wearing his skin.
181
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:04,655
[laughs]
182
00:08:04,689 --> 00:08:06,655
- Let's get a move on.
183
00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:08,655
Here comes Patrick Star.
184
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:10,034
It's showtime.
185
00:08:10,137 --> 00:08:12,482
But what will you do
for the audience?
186
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:15,482
Time for an idea brick.
187
00:08:15,586 --> 00:08:17,655
- Ugh!
Thank you, sir.
188
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:19,482
May I have another?
189
00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:24,344
[groans]
Oh, it's nap time.
190
00:08:24,448 --> 00:08:30,482
- This is the most mind-numbing
25� an hour I've ever made.
191
00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:33,827
- Another great show.
192
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:38,000
And now Patrick's favorite
part of the day, bedtime.
193
00:08:38,103 --> 00:08:39,344
[remote beeps]
194
00:08:40,448 --> 00:08:42,206
- You know what, folks?
195
00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:44,862
Dreams really do come true.
196
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:47,137
[sobbing]
197
00:08:47,241 --> 00:08:48,241
- Ugh.
198
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,586
This line is taking forever.
199
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,275
I've turned all old and gray.
200
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:56,931
- Hey, give me back
my novelty GrandPat beard.
201
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,103
- Ow!
- That thing cost me 40 bucks!
202
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,379
- I'm over waiting in line.
203
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,344
Time to go under it.
204
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,896
[grunts]
205
00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:08,655
[patrons exclaiming]
206
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:10,758
- Whoa!
- Phew!
207
00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:13,310
Now, where was I?
- Next.
208
00:09:13,379 --> 00:09:15,827
Next in line.
209
00:09:15,896 --> 00:09:17,655
- I guess that's me.
210
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,241
Hot dog.
211
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:23,724
Finally, home sweet...
212
00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:27,103
home, home, home?
213
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,310
What-- what the barnacles
is going on?
214
00:09:29,379 --> 00:09:30,758
[house whirring]
215
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,758
- Whee!
[laughter]
216
00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:34,724
- Let's not forget
Patrick Land's
217
00:09:34,758 --> 00:09:37,965
greatest thrill ride,
the Twirl and Hurl.
218
00:09:38,034 --> 00:09:43,620
- And every rider gets a
complimentary Patrick puke bag.
219
00:09:43,689 --> 00:09:46,448
- [gurgling]
[belches]
220
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,137
[together]
Don't you dare!
221
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:49,172
- [gulps]
222
00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:50,172
[laughter]
223
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:54,620
[together]
Faster! Faster!
224
00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:56,482
- Oh!
225
00:09:56,551 --> 00:09:58,068
Oh, my.
226
00:09:58,103 --> 00:09:59,379
[both straining]
227
00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:02,448
[house whirring]
228
00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:10,827
- Ugh, I'm at the end
of the line again.
229
00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:13,275
I know how to pass the time.
230
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,689
Yip-oy.
[groans]
231
00:10:19,379 --> 00:10:21,620
[wind whistling]
232
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:25,241
- [groans]
How long have I been out?
233
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:27,758
Say, where is everybody?
234
00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:31,172
[groans]
Well, at least there's no one
235
00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:35,000
to stop me from going home.
236
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,517
[grunts]
Huh?
237
00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,137
Cans of expired glue?
238
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,896
[horse neighing]
239
00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:43,655
This stuff lost its stickiness
back when I was in diapers.
240
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:45,655
- [groans]
Oh, yes.
241
00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:49,379
- Cecil, where have you been?
242
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,310
- Boy, you wouldn't believe
the day I had, honey.
243
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:55,000
I'm just pleased
as pickle punch to finally
244
00:10:55,068 --> 00:11:00,793
be home with my wife,
my dad, my daughter,
245
00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:05,793
my son, my other son.
- Ooh!
246
00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:08,241
I love you, too, Dad.
247
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,275
[all scream]
248
00:11:10,344 --> 00:11:13,034
- I love all these sons.
249
00:11:13,103 --> 00:11:14,758
And that one.
- Whoa!
250
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:16,000
- And that one.
- Ah!
251
00:11:16,103 --> 00:11:17,517
- And that one.
- Oh!
252
00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:18,896
- And that one.
253
00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:24,724
[people chanting]
One more prune!
254
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,862
One more prune!
255
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:30,758
- [straining]
[grunting]
256
00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:34,965
- Oh! They're almost to
the millionth prune, wake up!
257
00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:37,000
- [babbling]
258
00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:40,896
[machinery beeping
and clanking]
259
00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:42,241
[machine chiming]
260
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,482
[machine dings]
261
00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:44,827
[fireworks whistling]
262
00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:48,000
[all cheering]
263
00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,413
- [gurgling indistinctly]
264
00:11:59,482 --> 00:12:01,000
- What's that, Patrick?
265
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:04,241
You need something to
wash down all those prunes?
266
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:08,379
We've got coffee,
chunky salsa, or prune juice.
267
00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:14,896
- [gulping]
268
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,689
[sighs]
Huh?
269
00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:19,068
[gurgling]
270
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:23,068
Hey, folks at home,
you know what that sound means.
271
00:12:23,103 --> 00:12:26,931
- A catastrophic seismic event?
272
00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:30,241
- Close.
I gotta go to the bathroom!
273
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:33,344
[straining]
274
00:12:34,448 --> 00:12:35,931
- Whoa!
- Excuse me.
275
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,344
It's an emergency.
276
00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:40,000
- Wait for me.
What?
277
00:12:40,068 --> 00:12:43,724
You never know
when good TV might happen.
278
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:47,206
- [straining]
279
00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:48,655
[knocking]
280
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:51,551
I need to use the bathroom!
281
00:12:51,655 --> 00:12:52,896
- Sorry, son.
282
00:12:52,931 --> 00:12:56,862
I'm using the toilet
right now to do my taxes.
283
00:12:56,931 --> 00:13:01,172
Hmm.
Got any 1099s?
284
00:13:01,241 --> 00:13:04,448
[yelps]
My mortgage is underwater!
285
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,103
- Downstairs bathroom!
286
00:13:10,241 --> 00:13:11,137
- Ah!
287
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,000
- GrandPat, move!
288
00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:15,586
Upstairs is occupied,
and I gotta go potty.
289
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:18,620
- This is my toilet time, see?
290
00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:20,551
It's part of my three-hour
morning routine.
291
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:23,034
The first step is,
I shed my skin.
292
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,793
- Huh?
Whoa!
293
00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:26,689
- Now, get out!
294
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:31,275
- Please!
We're all out of bathrooms!
295
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,034
- Well, you have
one other option.
296
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:36,344
But it's told of
only in legend.
297
00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:38,000
[foreboding music]
298
00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:39,344
- [teeth chattering]
299
00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:43,413
- There's tale of
a lost bathroom in this house,
300
00:13:43,482 --> 00:13:47,793
but no one's ever done
what it takes to find it.
301
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,896
Solve the riddle.
302
00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:59,068
[exhales]
Now scram!
303
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:02,413
- Whoa!
A treasure hunting episode.
304
00:14:02,482 --> 00:14:05,827
The quest to find
the lost bathroom.
305
00:14:05,896 --> 00:14:08,241
- Let's hope
it's a short quest.
306
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,310
[toilet flushing]
307
00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,137
Three letters in meek.
308
00:14:12,206 --> 00:14:14,206
Three seasons in a year.
309
00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:17,137
Year rhymes with ear.
310
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:20,413
Pizza sounds yummy
right about now.
311
00:14:20,517 --> 00:14:23,482
Hmm, we're close.
- We're not.
312
00:14:23,551 --> 00:14:27,517
- I gotta do
some pacing about this.
313
00:14:27,586 --> 00:14:30,965
[feet thudding]
What is meek?
314
00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:32,965
- Ouch.
Excuse me.
315
00:14:33,034 --> 00:14:35,241
- Oh. Sorry.
- No, no.
316
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:37,034
Hope you haven't
been inconvenienced
317
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:39,206
by my shattered bones.
318
00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:40,689
[arm cracks]
319
00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:44,068
- Can't talk right now.
I'm looking for someone meek.
320
00:14:44,137 --> 00:14:47,103
- Patrick,
the Dartfish are meek.
321
00:14:47,172 --> 00:14:49,068
[together]
Ooh.
322
00:14:49,137 --> 00:14:51,103
[together]
Ah!
323
00:14:51,172 --> 00:14:53,517
- Honey, I'm home.
324
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:55,965
And I brought a guest.
325
00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:58,655
- Hi.
- A guest?
326
00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:01,068
- Is this where
the lost bathroom is?
327
00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:03,965
- Um, we don't have a bathroom.
328
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:08,068
But long ago,
our family was asked
329
00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:11,310
to look after
this sacred scroll
330
00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:13,551
and give it to
the one who inquires
331
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:17,068
about the lost bathroom.
332
00:15:17,103 --> 00:15:20,758
And now we bestow it upon ye.
333
00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:23,241
- Me?
- Ye.
334
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:26,241
- Ye!
I mean, yay!
335
00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,275
[Dartfish coughing]
336
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,896
- Thanks for stopping by.
337
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,758
- And I love
the new open floor plan.
338
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,724
- Let's see what it says.
339
00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:40,862
- Whoa, it's a map
of our living room.
340
00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:43,310
- I don't see
a lost bathroom though.
341
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:46,551
I give up.
What's on TV?
342
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:49,931
- Hmm.
What about this chair?
343
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,793
It's in a different place
than normal.
344
00:15:52,896 --> 00:15:55,137
It's over here now.
345
00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:58,586
- Hey, there are holes
in this toilet paper.
346
00:15:58,655 --> 00:16:01,000
It's useless.
- Wait a second.
347
00:16:01,103 --> 00:16:02,413
Let me see that.
348
00:16:02,482 --> 00:16:06,655
Look, the holes correspond
to numbers on the keypad.
349
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:10,655
Dial five, nine, star.
350
00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:12,896
[line trilling]
- We're sorry.
351
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,206
Your call cannot be completed
as this is a chair.
352
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,931
- Hmm,
it's a cell phone chair,
353
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,172
so try butt dialing.
354
00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:26,241
- Stand back for destiny.
355
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,724
[chair beeping]
356
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:29,034
[deep rumbling]
357
00:16:29,137 --> 00:16:30,137
[both gasp]
358
00:16:33,172 --> 00:16:35,034
- That's a
funny-looking toilet.
359
00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:37,068
- It's not a toilet.
360
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:40,172
It's a secret passageway.
361
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:41,310
Come on!
362
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,172
- I've heard
of sunken living rooms,
363
00:16:47,275 --> 00:16:49,448
but this is ridiculous.
364
00:16:49,482 --> 00:16:52,689
[percussive sting]
365
00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:55,137
Huh. It looks like
whoever drew this map
366
00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:58,034
forgot to draw the rest
of the path...
367
00:16:58,137 --> 00:17:00,275
[screaming]
Way!
368
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,206
- Patrick!
- Huh?
369
00:17:02,275 --> 00:17:04,413
- Don't move.
370
00:17:04,448 --> 00:17:08,275
- Don't you mean, "Don't fall?"
371
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,965
- Whoa!
372
00:17:10,034 --> 00:17:11,482
- Squidina, stop!
373
00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:13,793
Back up a little.
Ooh!
374
00:17:13,862 --> 00:17:14,965
Yeah, right-- right there.
- Oh!
375
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,344
- I got a knot.
376
00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:19,206
[grunts]
Ooh, yeah.
377
00:17:19,275 --> 00:17:22,827
[sighs]
All right, let's go.
378
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,827
- The map says
after we cross the gap,
379
00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:28,137
we'll have to push
one of these buttons,
380
00:17:28,206 --> 00:17:30,689
and the incorrect one
will lead to torment
381
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,000
beyond anything we've ever...
[buzzer blares]
382
00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:36,103
Imagined.
[gasps]
383
00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:38,137
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
384
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:39,551
[both grunting]
385
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:41,137
[both screaming]
386
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:42,517
- Oh.
387
00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,344
[together]
Wow.
388
00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:45,931
- At last.
389
00:17:46,034 --> 00:17:48,517
I have been waiting
in this tomb for centuries,
390
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:51,206
waiting for the chosen one.
391
00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:53,068
You!
Oh.
392
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:56,551
There's two of yous.
Uh, yous.
393
00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,413
- I like your towel.
394
00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,310
- This ain't a towel!
395
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:04,586
'Tis a holy robe bestowed
upon me by the ancient order
396
00:18:04,655 --> 00:18:06,689
of the Pipes Templar.
397
00:18:06,758 --> 00:18:09,310
Taketh this ancient device.
398
00:18:09,413 --> 00:18:12,655
- Um, ancient, right.
399
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,275
- Now, using all your cunning,
400
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,344
you must solve the
increasingly difficult puzzles
401
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:21,137
that I have cleverly hidden
around this room
402
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:24,068
in order to discover
which sink is the one
403
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:27,620
that's clogged by a special key
that opens
404
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:30,448
the chamber of the lost--
405
00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:32,206
- Found it!
- Huh?
406
00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,862
Oh, well, uh...
[coughs]
407
00:18:34,931 --> 00:18:38,620
Now you must still findeth
the secret door.
408
00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:42,137
And that is a task
to test even the wisest--
409
00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:45,241
- Found the door!
- Oh, come on!
410
00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:48,482
I spent centuries
creating that puzzle.
411
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:52,241
It would have been great,
but you doth ruined it!
412
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:55,206
Gah!
Chosen, schmosen.
413
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:56,620
- Heh, that's me!
414
00:18:56,724 --> 00:19:00,275
Chosen schmosen from the ocean!
415
00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:02,862
Ahh!
- Patrick!
416
00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:06,206
[gasps]
I think you found it!
417
00:19:06,241 --> 00:19:08,793
This must be the lost bathroom!
418
00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:10,551
We made it!
419
00:19:10,655 --> 00:19:12,862
- [farts]
Well, let's get cooking.
420
00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:14,689
- No, you knave!
421
00:19:14,793 --> 00:19:16,482
You must dig.
422
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:20,896
It's "X marks the spot,"
not "X marks the squat."
423
00:19:20,965 --> 00:19:22,965
- OK.
I dig it.
424
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:25,275
- Yeah, you dig.
- I dig.
425
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:27,862
You dig?
- No, you dig.
426
00:19:27,965 --> 00:19:29,206
- I dig.
427
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:31,068
- That's what
I'm trying to say!
428
00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:33,586
- I love treasure hunts.
429
00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:36,689
[both grunting]
430
00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:38,965
[both gasping]
431
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:41,379
[together]
The lost bathroom!
432
00:19:42,586 --> 00:19:44,931
- This place is huge!
433
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,620
[royal fanfare]
434
00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:49,862
[both gasping]
King Neptune!
435
00:19:49,965 --> 00:19:52,827
- I can't go with
a god watching.
436
00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:56,827
- Time to make a deposit
at the royal treasury.
437
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,965
[chuckles]
But first-- oh, yeah!
438
00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,413
Who's the god with the bod?
439
00:20:02,482 --> 00:20:04,724
Yeah!
440
00:20:04,827 --> 00:20:08,482
- Quick, let's go back
and wait this out.
441
00:20:08,551 --> 00:20:12,034
[both grunting]
- Intruders!
442
00:20:12,137 --> 00:20:16,137
How dare you invade
my private bathroom!
443
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:19,068
It's private.
- Your bathroom?
444
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:21,655
This is our secret bathroom.
445
00:20:21,724 --> 00:20:25,310
That's what the poem said.
- Oh, yeah?
446
00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:30,034
Does your mortal bathroom have
my monogrammed toilet paper?
447
00:20:30,137 --> 00:20:32,517
- Yes!
448
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,137
No.
449
00:20:34,206 --> 00:20:36,689
- I'm so glad we could have
this little chat.
450
00:20:36,793 --> 00:20:38,827
Now get out!
- Oh!
451
00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:42,862
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
452
00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:44,586
- Toodle-oo!
453
00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:47,827
[chuckles]
Now, then, it's showtime.
454
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:51,448
[laughs]
What the--
455
00:20:53,241 --> 00:20:54,379
- Hello again!
456
00:20:54,413 --> 00:20:56,000
- Oh, come on!
457
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:59,206
Don't make me call
the Pipes Templar.
458
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:01,172
[grunting]
459
00:21:01,241 --> 00:21:03,034
- [groans]
Hey!
460
00:21:03,103 --> 00:21:05,827
- Whoa!
461
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,137
- Wait!
462
00:21:07,172 --> 00:21:09,310
Was that Patrick Star?
463
00:21:09,379 --> 00:21:11,448
I love that guy.
464
00:21:11,482 --> 00:21:15,551
[pipes clanking]
465
00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,000
[both groaning]
466
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:18,103
[both grunt]
467
00:21:21,482 --> 00:21:24,931
- So much for
the legendary lost bathroom.
468
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,068
I guess you could just go use
Granny Tentacle's toilet.
469
00:21:28,137 --> 00:21:31,379
- It's OK.
I don't have to go anymore.
470
00:21:31,448 --> 00:21:34,172
- You don't?
- Nope. False alarm.
471
00:21:34,275 --> 00:21:38,344
- Well, how about we try the
two million prune challenge?
472
00:21:38,413 --> 00:21:40,241
- Great idea.
473
00:21:40,310 --> 00:21:43,793
That's the kind of
sophistimicated entertainment
474
00:21:43,862 --> 00:21:47,517
our viewers love.
- You said it, Patrick.
475
00:21:47,586 --> 00:21:51,241
[elegant music]
476
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,068
- So you see,
loyal viewers,
477
00:21:54,137 --> 00:21:59,137
the lost bathroom was inside
Patrick's heart all along.
478
00:21:59,241 --> 00:22:01,344
Good night, everybody.
479
00:22:01,413 --> 00:22:03,413
[toilet flushing]
480
00:22:03,463 --> 00:22:08,013
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