Original subtitles

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom. [laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

♪ ♪

This is my show!

♪ ♪

[bright music]

- One last chocolate Schnorkle Schnobble

and the Klopnodian flag...

[chomps] Ptoo!

And this Klopnodian war diorama is officially done!

And I couldn't have done it without you as reference.

- Looks great, honey.

And I love the water feature!

- Water feature?

- [groaning]

- [gasps] Oh, no, you don't!

This diorama is going to the Klopnodian

Chocolate Fest tomorrow.

So don't you dare take a single bite, or else...

look at me...

there will be consequences.

[thunder rumbles]

Understood?

- [gulps] Yes, Mom.

- That's my good boy!

Now it's off to bed with you. - Whoa!

- Got to get up bright and early for the festival!

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

[rooster crows, Patrick yawns]

[screams]

[humming melody] Huh?

What the...? It can't be.

Oh! It's chocolate.

[door creaks]

- Patrick.

You haven't seen my war diorama, have you?

- No. Why do you ask?

- [slurps] Just as I suspected...

Klopnodian chocolate.

- But I didn't eat your "doily-rama"!

I swear! Or at least I don't remember.

- Oh, Patrick, you lied to me.

And now it's time for the consequences!

Oh, Patrick. You can run.

[tense music]

But you can't hide.

[whistles]

All right, Tinkle. Catch Patrick's scent.

- [sniffs] [coughs, flushes]

- You'd think Tinkle would be used to that smell.

- [panting] Gotta hide! Gotta hide!

Gotta hide! Oof!

Gotta hide! Gotta hide!

- I'll give you scale plus five,

and that's my final offer. Huh?

Jeez, can't ya knock?

- No time! "Momsequences"!

Please! You gotta hide me!

Or this might be the last episode

of "The Patrick Show."

[knocking]

- ♪ Oh, Squidina ♪

[elegant music]

- Yes, Mother?

- I've been looking for your brother.

Have you seen him?

- No. [chuckles]

Don't think so.

- Then you wouldn't mind

if I took a look around, would you?

- [gulps] Be my guest.

[chuckles]

- Aha! Huh?

[bed rattles] Aha!

Gotcha now! Huh?

- [hisses]

- Dust bunny?

Yeah, you better run!

I guess this means Patrick isn't here after all.

- Phew!

Yep, just me and the dust bunnies.

- Glug, glug, glug, glug.

- [grunts]

[gulps, chomps]

[slurps] Aha!

A mother would know her son's drool anywhere.

- Ah! - [grunts]

- And I'll be back for that dust bunny!

- [humming melody] - Dad!

Oh, hi, son!

I thought the room could use more light,

so I painted a window.

Now to wait for the sun to rise.

- [grunts] Oh!

Mom's hunting me down because she thinks

I ate her "dumpy llama"!

You gotta hide me! - [sighs]

Son, I... I didn't want you to find out like this,

but your ol' man is no stranger to hiding.

I've done some things I'm not proud of.

I assumed a sweet, innocent man's identity.

My real name isn't even Cecil.

- No time for stories! You gotta hide me!

- Sure, son!

There you go. It's a tunnel to freedom!

- Bye, Dad! Love you!

- Now to buy him some extra time.

- Patrick? Aha!

There you are.

- [as Patrick] Uh, hi, Mom.

[normal voice] Uh-oh.

[yelps] - I am so disappointed in you.

I ought to tell your father.

- No, please! Don't tell GrandPat!

- What do you mean?

[gasps] You're not Patrick!

- No, but I am Cecil and always have been.

[tense music]

- [grumbles]

Now it's time to show Patrick some consequences!

[dramatic music]

- [screaming]

[grunting, screaming]

[squelching, slithering]

[grunts, knocks]

Help! - Is that you, kid?

- She's after me!

- Don't worry, kid. Get in the bag.

I'll smuggle you out to Paris, to freedom!

- OK! Thanks!

[tires squealing] Whoa!

- All aboard!

[horn blows, seagulls call]

- [grunting]

- Rogue wave!

Brace for impact! Yah!

Oh, no, it's a storm! Oh, no, it's lightning!

[cymbals crash] Oh, no, it's cymbals!

- GrandPat, have you seen Patrick?

- 'Bout time you showed up.

I got your chocolate chomper right here.

Case closed.

[together] Huh?

- Where'd he go?

- [laughs]

Merci bamboo. Ah!

[chomping]

Hmm? [screams]

♪ ♪

[both growl]

♪ ♪

[screaming]

[moans] Huh?

[eerie music]

What? Oh.

♪ ♪

- Oh, hello, stranger.

- Whoa.

Where am I?

What is this paradise?

- Well, every house has a secret

chocolate room if you look hard enough.

- My mom is after me because I ate her "dorky grandma,"

which I didn't do but I totally might have done because

it sounds like something I'd do.

So I need your help, or she's gonna "consequences" me.

- Don't worry. We'll do anything you need.

[ding] - Anything?

- Anything.

- What a sweet, innocent man you are.

- What are you gonna do with that cocoa criminal

when you find him?

- Give him his just deserts.

Let's go. [grunts]

- [screams]

[groans]

[vacuum clicks, whirs]

[suspenseful martial music]

♪ ♪

- [sniffs, slurps]

He's close.

All right! Show yourself, Patrick!

Huh? - Holy cannoli.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- [chews, gulps]

- Aha! Caught you chocolate-handed!

- But I didn't eat any more chocolate.

I remade your "doily mama."

♪ ♪

- You hand-carved all this chocolate yourself?

- Yes, with my mouth.

It all started five minutes ago.

- [shrieks] [laughs]

Just kidding.

I told you I'd do anything to help.

- [chomping, chewing]

- I bet you're wondering how my family and I got here.

See, my name is Cecil, and...

- [chomps]

No time for backstory.

So I worked and worked and built it all from scratch.

[triumphant music]

- Well, that doesn't make up for it!

That little thief still needs to pay the price

for eating the original!

- [chomps] - Hey.

Hey! What... what are you doing?

- [sniffs] [barks]

- Tinkle, what's wrong?

- Yeow!

- [panting]

- That's the chocolate from the original diorama!

- [laughs nervously] Where'd that come from?

- From your beard!

[together] GrandPat?

- It was you all along!

- That's right!

I ate it! I ate it all!

And I would've gotten away with it too

if it weren't for you meddling whippersnappers!

I waited until the coast was clear,

then used my old army training to approach the target.

I fought against those creepy Klopnodian cowards

in the war. Also, I was hungry.

[chocolate soldiers screaming]

- [chomps, gulps]

[chews, gulps]

Sweet revenge.

Then it was a simple matter of covering

my tracks by pinning the blame on the most obvious suspect.

- Time for a lesson you'll never forget.

[dramatic music]

I hope you enjoy your just desserts.

- Just desserts.

[moans]

[gulps]

[moans]

[bright music]

- Introducing the Choose-o-rama!

- On today's episode of "The Patrick Show,"

you get to vote on what happens next.

So whenever you see this special icon,

just hit the button on your Choose-o-rama remote.

The choice is yours!

- Grandson, is that you?

- [mutters] - It's good to hear your voice.

- Nurse!

[upbeat music]

- So our first vote is,

"Does Patrick eat broccoli or cookies?"

[gasps] Ew.

Please, please, please, vote for the cookies.

Please, please, please, please.

- Oh, which button do I press for a sleepover with Patrick?

Hmmm.

- Sorry, but you can only vote for the options on the screen.

Let's see those results.

And cookies win!

- [gasps]

[vacuum whirs]

[squelches, gulps]

♪ ♪

Hmm. [sniffs]

[plate shatters]

I could get used to this voting stuff.

[burps]

- Well, that's great 'cause there's plenty more

where that came from.

So for our next vote, you get to decide.

Does Patrick sing a cute little song?

Or does he walk on a bed of hot coals?

- [gasps]

Vote now! Decide Patrick's fate!

Looks like it's gonna be...

hot coals by a landslide!

Well, there you have it, folks.

- Are you guys sure this is what you want?

- Of course they're sure, Patrick!

Democracy never fails!

- [mutters] What are we doing?

- My bed's not reclining.

- I voted for the hot coals. [laughs]

- Um, OK.

[coals sizzle]

Hey, this isn't half bad.

Plus, it kind of feels nice on my toes.

[flames whoosh]

[together] Oh.

[flesh sizzles, cracks] - Ow.

- [mutters, growls ravenously]

[rattles like a snake]

- Well, wasn't that fun?

- I think I need to go to the hospital.

- Why don't we vote on it?

- [grunts fiercely, groans]

Um, the next vote is,

"Should Patrick go to the hospital

or wrestle a sea bear?"

- Hit those buttons, folks,

and vote, vote, vote!

It was close, but hospital wins!

We're here live at the hospital.

Stay tuned to find out what happens next!

- I'm just glad I don't have to wrestle a sea bear.

[screams]

- You're, uh, Patrick Star, yes?

- [nervously] Uh, uh-huh.

- Looks like you're in today for some pretty serious burns.

- Well, not to worry.

I'll just be prescribing you a daily antibiotic ointment

and one dose of a vicious, brutal, relentless

sea bear attack. [roars ferociously]

- [screams]

- [roaring] - [screaming]

[crashing]

- Aah!

I think the ointment's working!

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[whimpers] OK, folks.

Do I take the stairs or the elevator?

It's up to you!

Try to hurry up 'cause that sea bear

is gettin' pretty close.

[teeth chattering]

[bell chimes] [audience gasps]

Phew! Stairs it is.

- Wait!

We're still waiting on the mail-in ballots.

So let's just give it a few more minutes.

- Sure, no problem.

- [growling, snorts]

- Hey.

[screaming, crashing]

- Telegram. - Perfect timing!

I just finished a chapter.

[hums softly] Drum roll please!

- [roaring] - [screaming]

- [drumming]

- And the winner is elevator!

Take it away, Patrick!

- C'mon, guys.

Vote to send me home, or vote for the show

to be over! - Sorry, Patrick.

But say it with me, folks!

[together] That's not how voting works!

[elevator dings] - Uh, hey, Doc.

Isn't there supposed to be an ele...

[screaming]

♪ ♪

Uh-oh!

I can't see what I'm going to land on

at the bottom of this elevator shaft!

- That's 'cause the voters haven't decided yet.

[easy listening music]

- Uh-huh.

The options are

metal spikes

or a whole lot of delicious lollipops.

Please, vote for the lollipops!

- I like lollipops. - Hmm.

[remotes buzz]

[bright music]

- Yes!

Bring on the delicious lollipo...

- I don't like lollipops no more.

- [groans]

[quirky music]

Oh!

Ooh!

♪ ♪

♪ Lolly, lolly, leedle, lee ♪

♪ Lolly, lolly, lee... ♪

- Hey! - Hi, monster.

[slurps]

- You're gonna share those extra poplollies, ain't ya?

- Uh, I, uh, um...

- Or do my associates have to break every bone in your body?

- Uh...

[hatch squeaks]

- Time for another vote!

- Press red,

and I'll get pulverized by monsters.

Press green,

and I'll share my delicious lollipops!

Vote for fighting so I can have

the lollipops all to myself.

- But if we vote for fighting, they'll kill Patrick,

and then the show's over!

Well, I'm voting for "pollylops."

[remotes buzz]

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- [groans] Oh, all right.

[together] Yay!

- [giggles]

- Now I regret not having Patrick killed.

- Well, I guess I'll see you guys later.

- Wait a minute!

You ain't goin' nowhere!

[snarling] - W... why not?

- 'Cause you're gonna be our new leader, Mr. Lollypop man!

Ain't that right, fellas?

[together] Oh, yeah!

- Now, come on!

Let's leave this subterranean prison

and experience our new leader's world above!

♪ ♪

[all screaming]

- [laughing]

[all laughing]

- [giggles]

We're gonna turn this city upside-down!

- Wait. What do you mean?

[dramatic music]

- It's voting time!

[slide whistle warbles]

- OK.

How should the city be turned upside-down?

Press red, and me and my monster buddies

will destroy everything.

Press green, and I will run for mayor.

[bright music]

Ow! That really hurt!

And I'm running for mayor.

Ma'am! Ma'am!

Can I kiss your baby?

- Absolutely not!

- I'm running for mayor! - Oh!

In that case, go right ahead.

- Mwah! - [giggles]

[dramatic music]

- Hey, what's the... [screams]

[passengers scream]

- [grunting, smooching]

Bleh-ha! - [giggles]

- Mwah.

[smooching]

So when you step into that voting booth tomorrow,

vote Patrick Star!

[cheers and applause]

Now, who's got a baby I can kiss?

- I do! - [gasps]

[together] Hey! That's our baby!

[together] Yay!

- [smooches]

[laughs]

[babies crying, cameras clicking]

- Well, it's official.

Patrick Star has just been elected mayor.

- [sighs deeply]

[phone rings] Hello?

- [slurps] Congrats on the election, Mr. Mayor!

- Hey, thanks, Squidina.

Are we done with all this voting stuff now?

- Mmmm, not exactly.

Go ahead and open your bottom desk drawer.

- All righty.

[timer beeping]

[screams] A time bomb?

Why?

- Eh, our ratings dipped a little

during the "running for mayor" bit.

Anyway, all you got to do is cut the right wire.

- OK. Uh, which one?

- [slurps, sighs] We'll let the audience decide!

- What? Uh, oh.

OK, press red if you want me to cut the green wire,

and press green if you want me to cut the red one.

[timer beeps]

- [straining] - [groaning softly]

- [whimpers nervously]

- [laughing]

[timer beeps]

- Hurry up and vote!

[rapid dinging, electricity crackling]

Sleepover with Slappy?

How is that even possible?

[timer ringing]

Uh-oh.

[explosion]

Worst episode ever!

[body thuds]

- [giggles excitedly]

Don't you just love democracy?

[laughs]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0