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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:08,033 They're in that same spot again. 2 00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:12,133 They've definitely found something. 3 00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:15,567 There's something going on. 4 00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,233 Is it ready? 5 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:20,200 Light's on. 6 00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:22,867 All right. Give me the control. 7 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:29,000 All right. Gently does it. 8 00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:33,000 I'm lifting off in a three, two, one. 9 00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:38,233 Up she goes. 10 00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:47,633 How do you make it steady? Stop it going up. 11 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:49,700 Just let go of the joystick. 12 00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,267 Still going up? 13 00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,833 Yep. Just try flicking it down. 14 00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:00,167 Still going up, is it? 15 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,067 Yep. Yeah, that's really high now. 16 00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,633 How high is it supposed to go? 17 00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:07,033 Well, how am I supposed to know? It's not responding. 18 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,767 How do you make it come down? 19 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,633 Here, let me see. 20 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,167 - Can you see it? - Only just. 21 00:01:16,167 --> 00:01:19,300 No. No, I'm losing it. It's gone. 22 00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:20,933 No. No, yeah, yeah, there! 23 00:01:20,967 --> 00:01:22,933 No. 24 00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:25,900 No, I can't see it. 25 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:33,200 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. 26 00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:36,100 So that's it, is it? It just keeps going until it's in orbit? 27 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,267 How long do the batteries last? 28 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,867 20 minutes. 29 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,533 I thought you said you could fly these things? 30 00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:48,700 I never said that. 31 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,600 Well, why did you keep letting it go up? 32 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:52,733 I tried everything. It just wasn't responding. 33 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,333 It just kept going up and up. 34 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:56,233 You can tell that to the insurance company. 35 00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:57,533 Why me? 36 00:01:57,567 --> 00:02:01,133 Because, Paul, you're the one that said he could fly these. 37 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,100 Whoa! 38 00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:17,633 ♪ Will you search the lonely earth for me? 39 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:22,200 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble? 40 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:26,200 ♪ I'll be your treasure 41 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:30,567 ♪ I'm waiting for you 42 00:02:31,933 --> 00:02:35,867 ♪ I'm waiting for you 43 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,200 See QI this week? 44 00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,500 Yeah. 45 00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:46,767 Never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer Toksvig to Fry. 46 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,600 Controversial. 47 00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,333 Oh, don't you think she's better? 48 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,033 I'm not prepared to stick my neck out that far, mate. 49 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,200 She's certainly doing a good job. 50 00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,933 Big shoes to fill, literally. 51 00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,067 Why literally? 52 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:03,733 Stephen Fry's got big feet. 53 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,733 Yeah, but she doesn't literally have to wear his shoes. 54 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,700 Well, actually, they've got a rule... 55 00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:10,733 Who's this? 56 00:03:10,767 --> 00:03:12,833 - All right? - Morning. 57 00:03:12,867 --> 00:03:15,567 Metal detectors, are you? 58 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,100 You could say that. 59 00:03:17,133 --> 00:03:20,300 Are you one of them? One of the solar people. 60 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,167 Tree clearance. Getting rid of nuisance trees. 61 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,900 That's quite a slogan. 62 00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:26,967 Your life must be filled with joy. 63 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,700 - Eh? - Nothing. 64 00:03:28,733 --> 00:03:30,600 Not getting rid of this one though. 65 00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:33,567 - This one's going, yeah. - What? Why? 66 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,667 What nuisance is this one causing? 67 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:36,867 Shadow. 68 00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:40,767 One small patch? 69 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,933 Yeah, you see the sun, see, it travels through the sky 70 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:48,067 and that patch covers half an acre in a day. 71 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,833 That's a lot of sunlight all wasted on a tree. 72 00:03:51,867 --> 00:03:53,100 See ya. 73 00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:58,000 That's depressing. 74 00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:00,233 Shouldn't we do something about it? 75 00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,533 Like what? Save the tree? 76 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:05,600 Well, shouldn't we? I mean... 77 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,767 we don't want the tree to be cut down. 78 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,267 No. 79 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,200 So we should probably try and save it. 80 00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:15,667 So how do you save a tree? 81 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,733 Well, traditionally, you chain yourself to it, don't you? 82 00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,300 One of us chains ourself to the tree 83 00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,900 and the other one goes and gets the press. 84 00:04:22,933 --> 00:04:24,933 Yeah. 85 00:04:24,967 --> 00:04:26,933 I don't know. 86 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,967 It's... a bit embarrassing. 87 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,933 Huh. Yeah. 88 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,767 Bat box. 89 00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:05,900 What's that? 90 00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,233 Bat box is what we need to save that tree. 91 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,067 Whack a bat box up there, bats start roosting. 92 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,000 Boom. They can't touch it. 93 00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,033 - Yeah? - Hmm. 94 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,867 It's the same as Great Crested Newts. 95 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,767 You can have a muddy puddle essentially 96 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,000 but as soon as one of those slippery bastards rocks up, 97 00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:23,733 it becomes a Site of Special Scientific Interest. 98 00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:25,900 Scourge of the developer. 99 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:29,733 All right, well, you should get onto that then. Build a bat box. 100 00:05:29,767 --> 00:05:32,167 Yeah. Maybe I will. 101 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,833 Oh, I wish I had a shed. 102 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,733 Oh, yeah. Sorry, mate. I forgot. 103 00:05:39,967 --> 00:05:41,567 What did you do with your tools? 104 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,100 Well, they're in crates in the garage going rusty. 105 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:50,800 You didn't wipe 'em with an oily rag before you put 'em away? 106 00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:54,233 Well, yeah, obviously. I was being dramatic. 107 00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,567 Oh. 108 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,333 I see. 109 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,867 What you got? 110 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,833 Carpet stair rod holder. 111 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:05,733 Yeah. I've had a couple of them. 112 00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:08,133 Must have been a flight of stairs here somewhere. 113 00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:34,067 Er... hello? 114 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,500 Toni? 115 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:39,000 Hi, Kate. What you doing here? 116 00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:42,000 - Which is the front door? - Come down this end. 117 00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:48,867 Oh, don't I need to say something? 118 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:50,900 Like, to be invited on board. 119 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:52,767 You're thinking of vampires. 120 00:06:53,867 --> 00:06:55,667 Oh. 121 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,667 - Ooh! - Go on. 122 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,300 Thanks. 123 00:07:03,867 --> 00:07:05,267 This place is amazing. 124 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,267 Thanks. It was my grandparents'. 125 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,733 No way. How long have you lived on it? 126 00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:11,533 About three years. 127 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:12,967 And it makes my dad heave. 128 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,933 He hasn't even got this far. 129 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,567 He doesn't even like looking at it from dry land. 130 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,867 You know he's only ever seen the sea once? 131 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:21,100 He told me that. 132 00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:23,133 Don't expect beach holidays. 133 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:26,833 I'm not expecting anything. 134 00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:30,033 I'm gonna move out of my dad's flat. Find my own place. 135 00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:32,200 Why? He likes you being there. 136 00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:34,933 Yeah, I know. That's why I've stayed so long. 137 00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:36,867 He's afraid I'm gonna disappear again, 138 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,900 which is why I haven't told him yet. 139 00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:40,167 So why are you telling me? 140 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,133 I just want you to know that I won't be around all the time. 141 00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:44,733 I won't be in your way. 142 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:48,067 You've never been in my way. That's not fair, Kate. 143 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,033 Don't do anything on my account because I don't even know 144 00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:52,967 if your dad and I are still seeing each other. 145 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,733 Please don't break up with my dad. 146 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,333 - He thinks the world of you. - Kate. 147 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:59,767 He let Maggie stay because he's a kind and decent guy. 148 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,100 Did he send you here? 149 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,533 Yeah. He said, "Nip down and tell Toni 150 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,067 that I'm a kind and decent guy." 151 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,933 No, of course not. I just felt bad 152 00:08:06,967 --> 00:08:09,900 because I let her in the flat. I didn't know who she was. 153 00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:12,333 Look, Kate, I don't wanna discuss it with you. 154 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,800 Your dad and I will either sort it out or we won't, 155 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:18,100 but I don't need advice or character references, thanks. 156 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:21,033 I know he's a decent guy. That's why I'm going out with him. 157 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,133 - So you've not broken up? - Shut up, please! 158 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,233 I don't wanna talk about it with you. 159 00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:28,267 I feel like I'm back at sixth form talking about boyfriends. 160 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,700 I'm too old for this. 161 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:32,933 All right. I'll back off. I've said my bit. 162 00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:35,000 I just worry about him, you know? 163 00:08:35,033 --> 00:08:36,633 I know. 164 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,600 I love your ship. 165 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,800 It's a boat really. 166 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:46,000 I love it. I'll see ya. 167 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:19,133 Steve, can I find a safe home for this? 168 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,967 What's that, a porcupine? 169 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,333 Porcupine? You serious? It's a hedgehog. 170 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:26,667 Thought hedgehogs were flat. 171 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,733 The squashed dead ones are flat. 172 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:30,833 The live ones are spherical. 173 00:09:30,867 --> 00:09:32,267 All right, Richard Attenborough. 174 00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:34,233 It's David. 175 00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:37,533 Oh, I'm sorry. Been calling you Andy. 176 00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:15,867 Grab this, will you, mate? 177 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,300 Sorry, mate. I'm not actually... 178 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:19,533 Come on! It's killing me. 179 00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:55,933 - Hello. - Hey. 180 00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,233 What's in the crate? 181 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,033 Please step away from the crate. 182 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,000 Kate came to see me. Did she tell you? 183 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:18,833 To your place? What for? 184 00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:22,000 To tell me what a swell prince of a guy you are. 185 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,133 Hmm. I'm not that great. 186 00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:26,100 That's what I said. 187 00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,233 - She come aboard? - Yep. 188 00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,867 - Did she puke? - Nope. 189 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,333 - Turn a pallid yellow? - No. 190 00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,000 Not hereditary, then. 191 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:40,600 The reason I let Maggie stay 192 00:12:40,633 --> 00:12:43,533 was cos I don't have any feelings for her any more. 193 00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:45,733 I could just treat her as a guest. 194 00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:49,633 But... with you, I'd want it to be just us. 195 00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:53,267 OK. That's quite sweet. 196 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,033 Yeah? Shall I go on? 197 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,767 See what happens. 198 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,867 Well, that was it, really. 199 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:07,200 Kate's got her own room. She wouldn't disturb us. 200 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,033 Well, that's not it, is it? 201 00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:11,900 I mean, the thing is, would we disturb her? 202 00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:14,100 Huh? 203 00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:16,200 - You know? - Not really. 204 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:19,867 Well, it's... a question of acoustics. 205 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:22,533 Acoustics? 206 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,000 Oh, God, you know, soundproofing. 207 00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:28,767 The thought of... Kate hearing any goings on. 208 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,233 Don't laugh. It's hard enough as it is. 209 00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:34,200 You know what I mean, it's awkward. 210 00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,033 So what are you thinking? Egg boxes? 211 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:38,067 I was thinking egg boxes, 212 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,233 cos there's a stack of 'em in the warehouse. 213 00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:42,133 Big sheets of 'em. 214 00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,100 I... I can't tell her to leave. 215 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,567 I just can't do it. 216 00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:55,333 You know what? I think she might be ready to go, 217 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,800 but she thinks you'll be upset. 218 00:13:57,833 --> 00:14:00,933 - What makes you think that? - She told me. 219 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:04,633 She told me she was gonna start looking for a place of her own. 220 00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:06,800 Where? Here? 221 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,200 Oh, close by. Yeah. 222 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:11,100 Oh, well, that's... that's different. 223 00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:13,567 I mean, if... if she wants to. 224 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,233 I just didn't want it to come from me but... 225 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,600 I... I could help her to look for a place, if it's around here. 226 00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:25,200 She doesn't have much stuff, she doesn't need much space. 227 00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,000 And then what? 228 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,167 You... you could move in. If you want. 229 00:14:31,167 --> 00:14:33,533 OK. Do you want? 230 00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,167 I do. 231 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,700 I'm not selling my boat though. 232 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:38,933 You don't have to. 233 00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:41,700 I'll be able to find a tenant, although it is very small. 234 00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:45,100 Well, look, you know, let's see if... 235 00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:48,133 Kate can find somewhere for herself 236 00:14:48,167 --> 00:14:52,267 and then... you could advertise for a tenant. 237 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,833 That's probably the obvious thing to do. 238 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:59,700 Yes. Yes, I think so. 239 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:07,767 Cheers, Ray. 240 00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,100 Phone! 241 00:15:24,133 --> 00:15:25,967 The thing is, there's this house. 242 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,900 I found this house and I think it could be amazing. 243 00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:32,300 Who's that? 244 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:33,867 Da-da. 245 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,733 - Hello? - ..there's this house. 246 00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:37,967 Are you on your way back? Are you on your way home? 247 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,333 I found this house and I think it could be amazing. 248 00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:43,533 - Andy? - I found this amazing place. 249 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:46,133 - Andy? - I've found a house. 250 00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,167 - I've found a house. - Let's listen to Daddy 251 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,933 - talking to himself. - I found this house, Becky. 252 00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:56,000 I've found this... Becky, I've found a house. 253 00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:59,600 I found this house and I think it could be within our means. 254 00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:00,909 There's a lot of work to do on it 255 00:16:00,933 --> 00:16:02,300 but I could do the work myself. 256 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,700 In fact, I think that's what I wanna do. 257 00:16:04,733 --> 00:16:07,700 The only thing is, I've quit my job. 258 00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,100 I have to tell you at this point, though, Becky. 259 00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:11,933 Not, "at this point", that's stupid. 260 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:15,533 I have to come clean, Becky. I quit my job. 261 00:16:15,567 --> 00:16:18,600 Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 262 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,767 - Hello? - Hello? 263 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,233 - Anybody home? - Anybody home? 264 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,233 - What? - What? 265 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,033 - Hello? - Hello? 266 00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:52,200 - Have a nice day? - Have a nice day? 267 00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:59,300 - And my mum knew? - Yeah. 268 00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:02,167 That doesn't make it all right. 269 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,700 - Half makes it all right. - No, it doesn't. 270 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,943 Wait till you see this house - that will make it all right. 271 00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:09,067 - So tell me what it's like. - No. 272 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,200 I wanna know your first impression. 273 00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:13,200 But you have to imagine what it could be, 274 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,333 so don't look at the holes in the roof or the broken window. 275 00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:19,533 - So my second impression? - Yeah, your second impression. 276 00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:21,567 How can we afford a house? 277 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,267 It's an auction and there's no reserve, 278 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,233 so we just take what we got and bid what we can afford. 279 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,933 - We haven't got anything. - We've got some savings. 280 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,967 Andy, we've got ten grand. That buys a deposit on a flat, 281 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,133 not a three-bedroom cottage in half an acre of land. 282 00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:37,067 Well, if we don't try we'll never know. 283 00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:40,267 You're a dreamer. 284 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:44,633 You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. 285 00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:47,233 - I hope some day... - I get it. 286 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,800 Imagine. 287 00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:53,000 Oh, Andy, what have you fallen in love with? 288 00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:56,600 It's beautiful, isn't it? I mean, it... it could be. 289 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:59,133 Who's gonna do the work? You? 290 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:00,967 - Yeah. - Single-handed? 291 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,633 Single-handed, baby. That's what I wanna do. 292 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,167 I'll be a full-time hobbyist. 293 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,133 I'll take Stan to school, I'll pick him up, 294 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,667 and I'll build us a house with roses round the door. 295 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:12,700 I haven't seen you so enthused since we got back from Africa. 296 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:15,200 So, what? You'd give up archaeology? 297 00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:17,733 Yeah. For a couple of years I would. 298 00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,900 And then I'll have time to fix the shingles, 299 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,733 I'll have time to fix the door. 300 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,833 I'll have time to oil the hinges and to mend the windows... 301 00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:26,900 Shut up. I get it. Go and find Stan. 302 00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:29,300 There could be bear traps or a hidden well. 303 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,200 I'd pay extra for a hidden well. 304 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,633 Froggy, froggy! Froggy! 305 00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,700 So, you been to an auction before? 306 00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:26,533 No, I but I see 'em every day on TV. 307 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:29,033 Homes Under the Hammer, Property Lottery, 308 00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,633 Auctions-Auctions-Auctions. 309 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:33,133 - You got the Auctions Channel? - No. 310 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,767 Well, all you need is confidence. 311 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,233 - Exactly. - Yeah. 312 00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:42,800 - So, how much cash you got? - About 12 grand. 313 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:47,133 Bloody hell. Well, you're gonna need more than confidence then. 314 00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:50,767 Here, you fancy moving onto a house boat? 315 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,633 Well, that would be a brilliant move with a two-year-old. 316 00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:56,333 Toni's looking for a tenant so she can move in with me. 317 00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:57,767 - Yeah? - Hmm. 318 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,167 So if you hear of anyone looking for somewhere. 319 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,833 What about Kate? 320 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:07,033 Good idea. Yeah. I'll ask her if she knows anyone. 321 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:14,000 Wait a minute! I've come up with an even better idea. 322 00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,233 - I am a genius. - Go on. 323 00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:18,733 Kate could move onto the narrow boat 324 00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:20,900 and they could do a straight swap. 325 00:20:20,933 --> 00:20:23,600 That is a good idea. I wish I'd thought of that. 326 00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:25,133 Yeah. Yeah. 327 00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,600 She doesn't get seasick like me, 328 00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:30,867 doesn't have much stuff, and she loves the boat. 329 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,867 Like I say, I wish I'd thought of that. 330 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,833 Housing problem fixed. 331 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,900 Looks like I've come up with the perfect solution. 332 00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:41,100 Couldn't come up with a few grand for me, could you? 333 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:44,800 Yeah. We just gotta find it. A pot of gold. 334 00:20:45,867 --> 00:20:47,200 We've got a week. 335 00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:52,167 Oh, bollocks. 336 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,100 We're too late. They've... sealed it off. 337 00:20:56,133 --> 00:20:58,900 Damn! 338 00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:01,333 They must have come some time after we left. 339 00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:04,200 If only we'd got here before they put this up. 340 00:21:04,233 --> 00:21:07,267 Ah, well. At least we tried. 341 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,800 Hang on. 342 00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:10,500 What? 343 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:13,933 There's no-one around for miles. 344 00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:17,767 What you saying? 345 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,567 I don't know. It's just... 346 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,933 Oh, nothing, nothing. 347 00:21:21,967 --> 00:21:25,733 No, go on. What are you thinking? 348 00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:27,533 I reckon I could get under that tape. 349 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:30,267 What...? 350 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,167 I know, you're right. It's stupid. 351 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,967 No. No, I reckon you're on to something. 352 00:21:47,167 --> 00:21:50,167 Keep watch. 353 00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:29,867 Done? 354 00:22:38,633 --> 00:22:41,000 Felt good, didn't it, being an activist. 355 00:22:41,033 --> 00:22:44,567 We were like Ninjas, environmental Ninjas. 356 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,067 Yeah. So, er... when do the bats turn up? 357 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,800 I don't know. Tonight? 358 00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:52,200 Oh, well, you reckon they'll move straight in? 359 00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:54,033 I haven't really thought about it. 360 00:22:54,067 --> 00:22:56,567 I suppose it takes a while for them to find the boxes. 361 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:01,633 Oh, here we are, look. 24-hour bat helpline. 362 00:23:01,667 --> 00:23:02,833 Shut up, there isn't. 363 00:23:02,867 --> 00:23:05,267 There bloody is, look. Bat Action Trust. 364 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:09,733 After hours our calls are redirected to bat volunteers. 365 00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:11,267 Do it. 366 00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:17,800 Hello. Er... 367 00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:20,867 I'm on hold. 368 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,600 Busy time. 369 00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:25,033 Oh, it's ringing. 370 00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:26,767 Ah! 371 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,067 Paul, turn your phone off! 372 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:34,300 Paul! 373 00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:37,200 Can you switch your phone to aeroplane mode, please? 374 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,600 It's interfering with my Arado. 375 00:23:42,267 --> 00:23:45,067 Hello? 24-hour bat helpline. How can I help? 376 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:47,933 Oh, yes. I've got a bat question for you - 377 00:23:47,967 --> 00:23:49,700 er... a bat query for you. 378 00:23:49,733 --> 00:23:51,233 Oh, I'll certainly do my best to help. 379 00:23:51,267 --> 00:23:54,200 What's the nature of your bat enquiry? 380 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:57,267 Yeah. Well, basically, we've installed a bat box. 381 00:23:57,300 --> 00:23:59,733 How soon can we expect the bats to turn up? 382 00:23:59,767 --> 00:24:03,100 Well, ideally you want to plant some wildflowers 383 00:24:03,133 --> 00:24:05,533 that will attract the insects and invertebrates 384 00:24:05,567 --> 00:24:06,967 upon which the bats feed. 385 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,600 Or, as we like to say, provide bed and breakfast. 386 00:24:09,633 --> 00:24:12,033 Yeah, bed and breakfast. 387 00:24:12,067 --> 00:24:14,600 Well, we haven't got time for any of that. 388 00:24:14,633 --> 00:24:16,933 What's the quickest we could expect them to... 389 00:24:16,967 --> 00:24:19,033 What's the world record? 390 00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:21,600 - Can you hurry up, please? - It's the bat phone. 391 00:24:21,633 --> 00:24:23,600 Why has it come through to you? 392 00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:25,567 I'm further up the list than you are. 393 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,333 Yep. Well, it's entirely possible 394 00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,833 the bats may have already used the tree to roost. 395 00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:32,533 Look, I got a missed call. It's supposed to be for me. 396 00:24:32,567 --> 00:24:34,100 Let me speak to him. 397 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,533 And where's this tree situated? 398 00:24:37,567 --> 00:24:39,300 Let me speak to him. 399 00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,633 But that's... 400 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,633 Hello there. 401 00:24:43,667 --> 00:24:45,933 Bat Action Trust. 24-hour bat helpline. 402 00:24:45,967 --> 00:24:47,300 You're through to Philip Peters. 403 00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:50,267 Sorry about that. A bit of a mix-up with the switchboard. 404 00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:54,700 You're now through to a more senior member. Hello? 405 00:24:57,033 --> 00:25:00,067 Hmm, nobody there. 406 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:03,233 What? No. What? 407 00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:07,567 You're not telling us that you two are the... the bat man. 408 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,967 Oh, I see. Another hoax call, is it? 409 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,200 You pull that stunt 410 00:25:12,233 --> 00:25:16,167 with one of the other emergency services, you get arrested. 411 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,633 - Come on, Paul. - No. 412 00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:23,067 - Pardon? - No, Phil. This looks real. 413 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,900 I think these guys need our help. 414 00:25:24,933 --> 00:25:26,867 Let me see your bat credentials. 415 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,567 It's genuine. 416 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,667 Where's this tree? 417 00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:42,133 Back up there. 418 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,733 - Could be bats there already. - Yeah? 419 00:25:45,767 --> 00:25:48,100 - Yeah. A good area for bats. - How do we find out? 420 00:25:48,133 --> 00:25:50,200 I'll have to come back, bring my detector. 421 00:25:53,233 --> 00:25:54,767 Bat detector. 422 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The-the... hold on. 423 00:25:59,700 --> 00:26:02,133 Found a way we can be useful to you, have we? 424 00:26:02,167 --> 00:26:05,100 - Oh, here we go. - What do we get out of it? 425 00:26:05,133 --> 00:26:07,067 - What do you mean? - You get to save a tree. 426 00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:11,567 - The Bat Action Trust... - Oh, B-A-T, I just got that. 427 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,800 Oh, that's clever. Is that another one of yours? 428 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:17,100 The Bat Action Trust gives Paul and I the authority 429 00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:19,300 to slap a temporary preservation order 430 00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,933 on any tree we want. 431 00:26:20,967 --> 00:26:23,000 Providing, of course, we both agree 432 00:26:23,033 --> 00:26:25,100 that it is of special interest. 433 00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:30,200 So, I shall ask again, what do we get out of it? 434 00:26:30,233 --> 00:26:31,733 What do you want? 435 00:26:33,067 --> 00:26:34,900 We want that field. 436 00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,500 Sly bastards. 437 00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:45,133 We can't. 438 00:26:45,167 --> 00:26:47,767 Oh... I couldn't stand it. 439 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,300 Imagine if he was to find the rest of my hoard 440 00:26:50,333 --> 00:26:52,533 with his crappy Arado. 441 00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:56,200 No. I'd rather nobody found it. 442 00:26:56,233 --> 00:26:58,767 Well, nobody will have a chance in a week. 443 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,967 Maybe it's time to open it up, get everybody down here, 444 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,900 next weekend, before we lose it. 445 00:27:03,933 --> 00:27:05,900 Oh, I don't know. 446 00:27:05,933 --> 00:27:08,100 A week to find it, mate. 447 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,800 Oh, I know it's there. 448 00:27:12,933 --> 00:27:15,033 Under our feet. 449 00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:19,233 Under the lonely earth... waiting for us. 32746

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