All language subtitles for Ghosts.2019.S03E04

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,719 --> 00:00:06,040 Well, there are lots of exciting options, 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,880 but I like sex on the beach. 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,000 Is that vodka based, or... 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:13,080 Oh, we're talking about drinks. 5 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,679 It'd be a port and lemon for me. Bitter top. 6 00:00:14,759 --> 00:00:17,160 You said it, mate. 7 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,600 What if it was puddle water mixed with river water? 8 00:00:20,679 --> 00:00:22,519 It's still not a cocktail, Robin. 9 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,559 -It's all I've ever drunk. -PAT: Right. 10 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,320 And seeing as Mary doesn't partake... 11 00:00:27,399 --> 00:00:29,160 'Tis devil's juice. 12 00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:32,240 ...that just about wraps up our inaugural Cocktail Society. 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,359 -Cock Soc? -No. 14 00:00:33,439 --> 00:00:34,640 We're not calling it that name. 15 00:00:34,719 --> 00:00:35,759 When I was fuck duct as CO of... 16 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,920 Those aren't real words. 17 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,200 ...it was the highlight of our week 18 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,600 -on a Friday night. -(WOMAN SINGING) 19 00:00:41,679 --> 00:00:42,679 ♪♪ What a day it is ♪♪ 20 00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:45,119 Is that me? 21 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,399 Good morning, good morning! 22 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,439 (SCATTING TUNE) 23 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,560 Oh, Kitty, what pretty hair you have today. 24 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,840 And Robin, looking very sprightly. 25 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:59,439 And a lovely smile, as always, from my dearest Pat-a-Cake. 26 00:01:00,079 --> 00:01:01,880 (GASPS) Huh? 27 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,599 What just happened? 28 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,400 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 29 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,359 -Unknown pages seven and nine. -ALISON: Okay. 30 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,040 Hmm. Nice. 31 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,000 The scent. Rosewood? 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,000 That's my granola. 33 00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:36,599 -Hmm. -ALISON: Okay. 34 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,239 MAN: Marvellous. 35 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:42,000 Well, your driveway is now officially your driveway. 36 00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:44,879 Sorry again. This really should have come up in our searches. 37 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,799 -Ah, these things happen. -To us. 38 00:01:46,879 --> 00:01:49,519 Hopefully, we won't find any more skeletons in the, uh... 39 00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:50,319 -Basement. -...closet. 40 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,040 -Closet? -Mm-hmm. 41 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,280 ALISON: Well, we should get going. 42 00:01:53,359 --> 00:01:54,560 My sister's coming over. 43 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,959 Uh, sis... Sister? 44 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,799 I didn't think you had a sister. 45 00:01:57,879 --> 00:01:59,040 Oh, yeah. No, recent development. 46 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,799 Yeah. Erm, long-lost sister. 47 00:02:01,879 --> 00:02:03,400 Well, actually, half-sister. 48 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,640 -And which half or on which side? -My dad's. 49 00:02:05,719 --> 00:02:07,439 Older, younger? 50 00:02:07,519 --> 00:02:08,280 Uh, older. 51 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,759 Oh, dear! 52 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,319 Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear! 53 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,400 Uh, is there... is there a problem? 54 00:02:14,479 --> 00:02:16,159 Well, she may have a claim to the estate, 55 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,039 so either you'd have to buy her out 56 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,439 which you don't have the money for 57 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,360 or sell the house and split the proceeds. 58 00:02:21,439 --> 00:02:23,439 Admittedly, that's the worst-case scenarios, 59 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,039 but it's a very serious situation. 60 00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:28,560 I mean... So what can we do? 61 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,000 Well, first things first, you need to confirm her identity. 62 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,520 A birth certificate, at least, 63 00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:35,439 -if not a DNA test. -A DNA test? 64 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,800 Uh, you're not serious. 65 00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:39,120 I'm always serious. Ask my wife. 66 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,199 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 67 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,080 I know Fanny better than any of you. 68 00:02:47,159 --> 00:02:48,560 She does have a lighter side in her. 69 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,039 Not that light. 70 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:50,960 No, something's up. 71 00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:53,120 Perhaps she's unwell. 72 00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:54,360 She's dead, Kitty. 73 00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:55,479 There you are then. 74 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,360 Perhaps she has been possessed. 75 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,159 (SCOFFS) There's no such thing as possession. 76 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,280 Well, there's no such thing as ghosts, but... 77 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,960 (ALL ARGUING) 78 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,199 MIKE: Well, can we just drop it in conversationally? 79 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,439 Oh, yeah. "Oh, hi, Lucy. Nice weather. 80 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,800 -"Can I test your DNA?" -(LAUGHS) 81 00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:17,479 Look, she might not even want the house. 82 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,520 He did say that was just worst-case scenario. 83 00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,120 He knows he screwed up the driveway thing, 84 00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:23,680 so he's just being super cautious, right. 85 00:03:23,759 --> 00:03:25,120 Anyway, we'll get back to work. 86 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,120 Hey, look at me. 87 00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:29,439 I've got the kind of work that people have gotta get back to. 88 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,680 -Mm. -I'm really proud as a person. 89 00:03:31,759 --> 00:03:33,120 (CHUCKLES) 90 00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:36,240 Don't know whether to be proud or depressed. 91 00:03:36,319 --> 00:03:38,960 Ah, Alison. I couldn't help but overhear... 92 00:03:39,039 --> 00:03:40,520 -Oh, you heard. -...something about Lucy. 93 00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:42,039 A test. 94 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,680 (SIGHS) Yeah. I just, er, 95 00:03:44,759 --> 00:03:48,280 I've to sort of confirm she is who she says she is. 96 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,919 You mean like a spy? 97 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,520 -No, that's... That's not... -Now, I happen to have 98 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,800 a very particular set of skills 99 00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:57,319 -when it comes to rooting out bad apples. -Yeah. 100 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,039 If someone wanted, someone could conduct 101 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,400 some covert surveillance on a certain someone 102 00:04:03,479 --> 00:04:04,840 if someone didn't want to get their hands dirty, 103 00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:07,960 if you know what I mean. 104 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,919 I don't want you to spy on my sister, 105 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,479 if that's what you mean. 106 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,439 So you don't want me to spy on her. Jolly good. 107 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,040 No, no, no, really. Captain, I really... 108 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,240 -I really don't want you to spy on her. -What? 109 00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:21,759 I don't... I'm just... I'm just gonna talk to her 110 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,240 and, you know, ask for some clarity 111 00:04:24,319 --> 00:04:27,800 and, er, some ID (SIGHS) and a DNA swab, 112 00:04:27,879 --> 00:04:29,800 and then just ruin our relationship before we've even... 113 00:04:29,879 --> 00:04:31,279 Okay, actually, do you know what? 114 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,439 Maybe a little light surveillance 115 00:04:33,519 --> 00:04:35,759 wouldn't be the worst idea. Okay, do it. 116 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,160 Do you mean, do it as in "don't do it," 117 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,639 or do it as in, "do it"? 118 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,680 -Do it. -So... Don't. 119 00:04:40,759 --> 00:04:42,839 -No, do. -Yes. 120 00:04:43,879 --> 00:04:45,000 Do. 121 00:04:45,079 --> 00:04:46,519 Er, all right. 122 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,360 -Did, erm... Don't? -Jolly good. All right. 123 00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:52,439 -Sorry. Is that actual don't... -How did we win the war? 124 00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:54,319 All right, young lady. All right. 125 00:04:54,399 --> 00:04:56,240 I'll make it simple for you. 126 00:04:56,319 --> 00:04:57,000 If you want to green light this mission, 127 00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:59,040 say, "Eiderdown." 128 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,480 -Eiderdown. Oh. -(SHUSHES) 129 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,439 For God's sake. 130 00:05:01,519 --> 00:05:02,839 -All right. -Mm. 131 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,399 We'll soon find out if she's a German. 132 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,079 I mean, she is who she says she is. 133 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,199 Okay. 134 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:09,439 Good luck. 135 00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:11,720 -Thank you? -Mm. 136 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,319 Right. Let's get in amongst them. 137 00:05:25,879 --> 00:05:26,879 Stop it! 138 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,560 (LAUGHS) Well, I'm bored. 139 00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:31,720 I miss the office, the banter, 140 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,040 the secretaries, whirr of the faxes. 141 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,399 The secretary's photocopier. 142 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,480 The secretaries on the photocopier. (LAUGHS) 143 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,079 Oh. 144 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,040 -Here! -Right. 145 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,600 Do you know what a line manager is? 146 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,839 Because mine's very serious. 147 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,800 -Yeah, I'm sure that you find this stuff hilarious. -What's up with him? 148 00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:50,399 Ah, he's just being a square. 149 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,040 He's having a square meal. 150 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,959 And he's off to a square dance in Trafalgar Square. 151 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,240 So please, just begone. 152 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:57,199 Huh. 153 00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,519 (EXHALES) 154 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,800 (TYPING) 155 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,120 -Oh, my! -(SHOUTS EXCITEDLY) Like bum! 156 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,120 Yes, exactly like bum. 157 00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,480 Just stop it, all right? Or I'm telling Alison. 158 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,000 -BOTH: Ooh! -Thank you. 159 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:14,079 Ooh. 160 00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:16,920 (CLICKS) 161 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,680 -No! -(BOTH LAUGH) 162 00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:20,959 No, no, no, no, no. 163 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,040 -That's sent, that's sent. -Yeah! 164 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,639 (CAR APPROACHING) 165 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,120 Oh, joy, the other one. 166 00:06:30,199 --> 00:06:31,519 Kitty. 167 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,279 To think my head was turned 168 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,600 -by such a pale imitation of perfection. -ALISON: Mm. 169 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,160 So nice she's back. When is she leaving? 170 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:39,519 She's staying the night. 171 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,680 -A sleepover? -Mm-hm. 172 00:06:42,079 --> 00:06:44,959 -Which I'm fine about, actually. -Yeah. 173 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:45,839 Not jealous at all. 174 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,040 The opposite of jealous. 175 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,639 If anything, I'm happy. 176 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,160 And if you see me crying, it's because I'm so happy. 177 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,959 (SOBBING) 178 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,199 I'm gonna kill him. 179 00:06:58,279 --> 00:06:59,439 I'm gonna resurrect him and I'm gonna kill him. 180 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:00,920 -ALISON: Robin. -It wasn't me. 181 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,879 So I'm typing an email, right? To my boss, 182 00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:04,399 and, oh, Mr. Funny Fingers 183 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,480 starts messing with the keyboard, 184 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,040 changing words to rude words. 185 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,399 Made "annual" review "anal" review. 186 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,720 -Like bum. -(BOTH LAUGH) 187 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,879 (ALISON CHUCKLES) 188 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,360 Yes. No, that... That's not funny 189 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,920 at the end of the day. I mean, you can't. 190 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,399 -You really can't. -I asked him to stop. 191 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,800 I begged him. 192 00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:25,920 And what does he do? Puts a kiss on it. 193 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,120 -"Best wishes, Michael. Kiss." -Mwah. 194 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:29,639 And we do not have that kind of relationship at all. 195 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,240 Okay. Yeah, he really shouldn't have done that, 196 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,519 (SIGHS) but I doubt they'll even notice. 197 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,360 Well, she better not. Or I'll... 198 00:07:35,439 --> 00:07:37,160 You'll what, mate? 199 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,439 -What are you gonna do? -(GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION) 200 00:07:38,519 --> 00:07:39,079 Oh, it's so hard to threaten dead people! 201 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,079 -Toodle-oo! -ROBIN: Yeah, keep walking. 202 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,079 -(LAUGHS) -Was funny. 203 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,920 -Really funny. -It's given me a stitch. (LAUGHS) 204 00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:51,879 -Hey. How are you? -Hello. It's so, so, lovely... 205 00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:53,879 -Sorry. Sorry. -Oh. 206 00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:55,560 -Sorry. -(BOTH CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY) 207 00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:57,160 Ah, I feel nothing. 208 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,319 Less than nothing. 209 00:07:59,399 --> 00:08:01,120 Oh, I thought you were only coming for only one night. 210 00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:02,680 Oh, yeah. I always overpack. 211 00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:05,079 Dressing gown, slippers, couple of books. 212 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,319 What are you reading? 213 00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:07,600 -Just some poetry. -All right. 214 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,480 Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. 215 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,920 And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. 216 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,759 Thomas, if you could just dial down the flirting 217 00:08:17,839 --> 00:08:19,360 while my sister's here please, because it's... 218 00:08:20,759 --> 00:08:21,680 Thomas? 219 00:08:22,839 --> 00:08:25,160 -Huh. -Hmm. 220 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,600 And if you just go through, we're heading up the stairs to the blue room. 221 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,000 Oh, and I brought this for you. 222 00:08:30,079 --> 00:08:32,679 -Well, for us. -Ah Sancerre 223 00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:34,840 A woman of taste. Flinty. 224 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,879 MARY: I know the voice speaks. 225 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,799 I'm telling to you, Fanny be bedevilled. 226 00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:43,320 I saw her head make turns a full circle. 227 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,759 Really? 228 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,240 Well, no, but she did that and she did that. 229 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,360 So how long till they meet in the middle? 230 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,279 -Normally, we just pick the nicest lady for it. -(SNEEZES) 231 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,679 Bless you. 232 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,480 What a charming young lady. So polite. 233 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,320 -Oh, her you like. -Sorry? 234 00:08:57,399 --> 00:09:00,919 Er, I heard you like to do... 235 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,039 Do you... Do you like to travel? Er, is... 236 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,399 -Erm, when I can. -Yeah. 237 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,559 -I just got back from Berlin. -Okay. 238 00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:10,399 -I knew it. She's German. -I did a bit of house hunting. 239 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,919 Oh no, we're not doing that, are we? Carry on. 240 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,720 But a demon wouldn't make her act happy, Mary. 241 00:09:16,799 --> 00:09:18,240 They're not jolly things, demons. 242 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,320 Oh I don't know, vice decadent fornication. 243 00:09:21,399 --> 00:09:23,840 Nice work if you can get it. 244 00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:26,440 -Be gone, foul demon! -(FANNY GASPS) 245 00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:30,320 Mary, you gave me a start. Oh, you are a card. 246 00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:31,960 Right, something's up. 247 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,159 I'm gonna find out exactly what it is, young lady. 248 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,639 -Old lady. Lady. -FANNY: Patrick. 249 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,720 I'm afraid I have no idea to what you might be... 250 00:09:38,799 --> 00:09:40,960 MARY: Be not fooled! 251 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,600 She being the throne of some chucklesome imp. 252 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,559 I'm quite sure there's been no change to my out... 253 00:09:46,639 --> 00:09:48,519 Aha! 254 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,240 I recognise that glint in your eye. 255 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,720 I've seen it many times, in mirrors. 256 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:54,799 You're having an affair. 257 00:09:54,879 --> 00:09:56,840 (CACKLES) I am not! 258 00:09:56,919 --> 00:09:58,919 How dare you... (STUTTERING) 259 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:00,919 Oh. 260 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:04,320 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 261 00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:06,120 (SING-SONG) Ooh, ooh, ooh. 262 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,159 Hang on, hang on. 263 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,399 Well, she ghost, huh? 264 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,960 So she could only, erm, (KISSING) 265 00:10:13,039 --> 00:10:16,000 with other ghost, yeah? 266 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,000 Which means whoever she (KISSING) with 267 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:24,320 must be someone in this room. 268 00:10:24,919 --> 00:10:25,879 (ALL GASP) 269 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,000 Well, the Captain. 270 00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,200 Someone in this room. 271 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,799 Ever get lost in here? 272 00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:35,879 Well, no, I mean, you get used to... 273 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,080 Yeah. Yes, actually. Yeah, yeah, all the time. 274 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,759 It's awful. It's actually too big, if anything. 275 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,559 There's so much space. 276 00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:45,919 Yet also quite small, weirdly, once you're in. 277 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,399 It's sort of one of those places better to visit then to... 278 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,399 Well, anyway, you're... You're in here. 279 00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:51,440 Oh, my... 280 00:10:51,519 --> 00:10:54,639 -Wow. -Well, it's a bit bleh. 281 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,879 I'll let you get settled in. 282 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,120 I'll see you downstairs in 10? 283 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,919 -Great. -Okay. All right. 284 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,720 -Oh, my God. -(EXCLAIMS) 285 00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:03,080 Excellent. Square room. One exit. 286 00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:04,480 I'll keep her on night watch. 287 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,799 Fingers crossed for a little pillow talk. 288 00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:07,960 (WHISPERING) Well no, cause she's on the row 289 00:11:08,039 --> 00:11:09,000 so there won't be any pillow talk. 290 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:09,159 So? 291 00:11:11,159 --> 00:11:13,200 You do know what pillow talk is? 292 00:11:13,279 --> 00:11:15,120 (SCOFFS) Talking to your pillow. 293 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,480 Who talks to their pillow? 294 00:11:18,799 --> 00:11:20,600 Yes. Yes. 295 00:11:20,679 --> 00:11:22,919 I mean... I mean, who on earth would do something like that? 296 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,360 (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 297 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,440 -(CLEARS THROAT) -Mm. 298 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,360 Er... Uh-huh. 299 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,240 (TYPING) 300 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:30,799 (MESSAGE NOTIFICATION TONE) 301 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,639 (INHALES SHARPLY) 302 00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:40,440 (EXHALES) 303 00:11:40,519 --> 00:11:42,639 Doesn't mention the kiss. No thanks to you. 304 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:44,480 Could've been Mikey No Job. 305 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:45,919 Then what besides... 306 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,440 No, no, no, no, no, 307 00:11:48,519 --> 00:11:49,879 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 308 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,000 Two kisses. That's a kiss more than my kiss. 309 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,120 What does that mean? Do I reply with three kisses? 310 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,919 I can't do no kisses after two kisses. 311 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,559 If I reply with three, does she reply with four? 312 00:11:57,639 --> 00:11:59,480 Where does this end? You see what you've done? 313 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:03,240 Huh? You see, your actions have consequences. 314 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,759 Yeah, you walk around this house touching stuff, pushing stuff. 315 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,600 Fanny Button, how dare you! 316 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,600 I mean, I've had my dalliances, hasn't everyone? 317 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:12,960 Even I draw the line somewhere. (SNORTS) 318 00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:15,120 I think the lady doth protest too much, 319 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,279 Oh, no, there. Those who say man who point finger... 320 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,000 PAT: Me? I've never even thought about it. 321 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,320 Well, I did have one dream, 322 00:12:22,399 --> 00:12:25,240 but in my defence, she had your head. 323 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,440 -What? -Okay. 324 00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:28,039 What about Thomas? 325 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,240 -ROBIN: Oh. -Where is he all of a sudden? 326 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,600 -Yeah. -(MUMBLING) 327 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:32,720 He's only got eyes for Alison. 328 00:12:32,799 --> 00:12:35,360 No, no, no, no, no. 329 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,919 -(INDISTINCT ARGUING) -Huh? 330 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:39,759 (GASPS) 331 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,039 (ARGUING CONTINUES) 332 00:12:45,919 --> 00:12:47,200 Did you miss me? 333 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,919 (FANNY GIGGLING) 334 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:56,159 (COOING) 335 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,919 JULIAN: It's not me. No way Jose. 336 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:58,960 Could be him. Could be the ape. 337 00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:00,159 The ape? 338 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,200 Not a demon. It be no demon! 339 00:13:04,279 --> 00:13:05,639 -What? -I did see Fanny 340 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:06,679 locked in a tryst. 341 00:13:06,759 --> 00:13:07,679 She have herself a boy cock. 342 00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:09,799 A fancy man. 343 00:13:09,879 --> 00:13:11,360 -ROBIN: Ooh! -Ah, told you! 344 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,480 Well, who is it? 345 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,960 It be... 346 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,039 Humphrey. 347 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:18,159 ALL: Huh? 348 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:18,960 No, it's not. 349 00:13:19,039 --> 00:13:20,120 Not that bit... 350 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,840 Huh? 351 00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,759 -ALL: Huh? -(GROANS IN DISGUST) 352 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,960 -You see. -(ALL GASP) 353 00:13:28,039 --> 00:13:30,240 -Mm. -It's complicated. 354 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,080 You're telling me? 355 00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:35,559 (SIGHS) 356 00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:36,919 Ah, changing for dinner? 357 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,399 Well, yeah, I'm trying to, 358 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,559 but, Thomas, we've spoken about this, okay? 359 00:13:40,639 --> 00:13:41,639 -You can't be in here when I'm trying to... -Nice to make an effort 360 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,639 (SOFTLY) when one has guests. 361 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,559 Is she not around, Lucy? Hmm? 362 00:13:46,639 --> 00:13:47,600 Oh, no, no. 363 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,720 I put her in the blue room. 364 00:13:49,799 --> 00:13:51,519 Now if you don't mind. I'm actually trying to get ready for my evening. 365 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,519 So... 366 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:54,679 Thomas? 367 00:13:55,639 --> 00:13:57,360 Hmm. 368 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,159 Look, I appreciate it. 369 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,919 -Maybe a little unorthodox. -HUMPHREY: Unorthodox? 370 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,639 It's not like you're courting my brother or something. That's me! 371 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,120 PAT: Okay, okay, okay. Let's not lose our heads. 372 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,440 -No offence. -(MEN CHUCKLE) 373 00:14:14,519 --> 00:14:16,960 Fanny, is it not possible that you feel so drawn 374 00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:19,960 to that bit of Humphrey 375 00:14:20,039 --> 00:14:22,960 because he doesn't argue with, judge or upset you? 376 00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:24,759 What, with him not having a head. 377 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,080 -He's got a head. -Yeah. 378 00:14:26,159 --> 00:14:27,279 Look, you can think what you like. 379 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,320 I know how I feel. 380 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,360 I am in love with some of this man, 381 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,039 and I don't care who knows it. 382 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:34,200 Good for you, girl, 383 00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:40,480 (MOBILE PHONE VIBRATING) 384 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,240 (DRUM ROLL) 385 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,039 Hmm, interesting. 386 00:14:52,039 --> 00:14:52,919 Most interesting. 387 00:14:54,399 --> 00:14:56,279 -(DRUM ROLL) -Oh! 388 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,519 (MUFFLED) Very interesting. 389 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,240 (SIGHS) 390 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,279 (TYPING) 391 00:15:06,559 --> 00:15:08,480 You know what? Honesty is the best policy. 392 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,600 (SNICKERS) No, no. 393 00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:14,679 Policy and honesty. Two very different things, mate. 394 00:15:14,759 --> 00:15:15,720 MIKE: Kisses. 395 00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:22,559 Just to clear up any confusion, 396 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:28,080 I want you to know there was a typo 397 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:29,679 in my previous email. 398 00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:33,600 Huh. I want you... 399 00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:36,879 Eh! (LAUGHS) 400 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,039 You son of a... 401 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,840 -(GRUNTS) -That's fun. 402 00:15:40,919 --> 00:15:42,559 (SING-SONG) That's fun. It's fun, it's fun, it's fun. 403 00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:43,879 -(GROWLS) -Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. 404 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,399 Just a cheeky bit of fun. 405 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,120 It's office japes. 406 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,960 -Wait till she reads that. -(EMAIL NOTIFICATION) 407 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,639 (MIKE EXHALES NERVOUSLY) 408 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,159 "This is a wholly inappropriate 409 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,679 "use of corporate communications. 410 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,200 "This is now a matter that we will need to discuss 411 00:16:01,279 --> 00:16:02,519 -"in person." -"In person." 412 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,919 Great. 413 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:05,799 You got me fired. I'm gonna get fired. 414 00:16:05,879 --> 00:16:07,840 You happy now? Hmm? 415 00:16:07,919 --> 00:16:09,200 I'm gonna get fired. 416 00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:10,879 -Fired for that? -(GRUNTS) 417 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,919 God, whatever next. 418 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,000 -No bottom patting. -(GROWLING) 419 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,600 (SCOFFS) Honestly. 420 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,360 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 421 00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:46,399 (IMPERCEPTIBLE) 422 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,360 (GASPS) 423 00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:06,920 (BLOWS AIR) 424 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,240 Keeps happening. 425 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,279 LUCY: It's a sort of cafe cum art space, I suppose. 426 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:13,640 Well that's the plan anyway. 427 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,640 Coffee and paint, but not in the same cup. 428 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,400 (LAUGHS) Same cup. 429 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,519 That's, that's a really great idea. Yeah. 430 00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,440 And perfect location. 431 00:17:24,519 --> 00:17:27,200 Were you... were you born near there or... 432 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:29,359 Oh, no. No, heavens, no. (CHUCKLES) 433 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,319 And, I mean, it's just a small space. 434 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,599 I mean, compared to this. 435 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,079 -This is... -No it's not really. 436 00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:38,160 Are you kidding? 437 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,759 Just look at the size of that cooker. 438 00:17:39,839 --> 00:17:43,119 It's too hot or it's too cold. It's unreliable. 439 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,000 And it's unsafe, probably. 440 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:46,359 It's homely, though, isn't it? 441 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,839 It's like a real fire. 442 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,680 I like a real fire. 443 00:17:48,759 --> 00:17:51,119 Oh, she's hot. 444 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:51,680 And sensitive. 445 00:17:51,759 --> 00:17:53,839 Oh, yes. 446 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,880 Look at her with her perfect hair 447 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,839 and her shiny teeth. 448 00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,240 And her flawless skin. 449 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,559 I far prefer you. 450 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,759 -Yeah. Cheers. -Mm. 451 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,480 HUMPHREY: If you'd have told me 400 years ago 452 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,359 that one day I'd be watching my decapitated body 453 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,920 having an affair with a 60-year-old dead woman, 454 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,039 I'd have said you were mad. 455 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,880 And that would be fair enough, mate. 456 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,920 She does look happy, though. 457 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,880 I've not seen Fanny like it. 458 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,400 She's right. 459 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,680 I mean, call me an old romantic, 460 00:18:31,759 --> 00:18:33,000 but is it not possible that 461 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,880 there could be something in this? 462 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,400 Are you having a laugh? 463 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,039 I'm just saying, mate, you know, 464 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:39,359 some part of you, 465 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,279 well, most of you proportionally speaking, 466 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:44,640 feels quite content with the situation. 467 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,000 And likes it or not, 468 00:18:47,079 --> 00:18:49,440 it'd be that bit which have the heart. 469 00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:55,480 LUCY: I never really knew where I was with him. 470 00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:56,839 He's a damn fool. 471 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,160 Probably put myself back out there. 472 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:58,799 Not getting any younger? 473 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,960 Ah, no. 474 00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,279 Well, I mean, you're only... 475 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,319 -Twenty-one? -A hundred and eight? 476 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,440 What year were you born? 477 00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:07,920 Dang, it's depressing. 478 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,599 I still feel like I'm 25. 479 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,160 Whereas of course, in fact, you are... 480 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,200 I'm holding up okay, I suppose. 481 00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:15,920 -I've got Dad's skin. -Yeah. 482 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,279 -Looks like we both did. -(CHUCKLES) Yeah. 483 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,119 (HOARSELY) Alison. (CLEARS THROAT) 484 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,920 Eiderdown debrief. Corridor. Quick as you like. 485 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,279 I just... I gotta nip to the loo. Yeah. 486 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,640 I kept my dad's skin. 487 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,440 So here is briefing, Day 1. 488 00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:38,039 The time is, erm... 489 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,279 Right, don't have a watch. Do you have the time? 490 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:41,920 -I... Okay. -It doesn't matter. 491 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,799 Present Alison Cooper and Captain... 492 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,119 -Great. Just great. -What is it? 493 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,279 It's my boss. She's here to fire me. 494 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,680 -What? Not because of... -Yep. 495 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,119 Forget what I said earlier. 496 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,599 Worst-case scenario, that's what will happen. 497 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:54,799 -Every time. -JULIAN: Oh, come along then. 498 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,640 ROBIN: I said no pushy. 499 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,000 -Going. -JULIAN: Don't mind me. 500 00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:00,240 Just borrowing that. 501 00:20:00,319 --> 00:20:01,680 (INDISTINCT) 502 00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:03,079 Right. Do you want this briefing or not? 503 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,319 Er, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. 504 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,559 -Yeah. What did you find? -Right. 505 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,559 Well, for starters, I discovered that 506 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,240 she carries, secreted about her person, 507 00:20:10,319 --> 00:20:11,759 a field telephone. 508 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,079 Do you mean a mobile? 509 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,880 Precisely. But that's not all. 510 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,279 She has this bag. 511 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,200 Within that bag is a smaller bag, 512 00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:21,400 and within that bag, a bag smaller still 513 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,039 that contains a stick of lipstick stick, 514 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,920 a tiny mirror and a comb. 515 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,799 (SIGHS) Okay, just to save us both a lot of time, 516 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,200 erm, is the gist of this that you didn't find out anything 517 00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:30,839 about her of any consequence whatsoever. 518 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,039 (SCOFFS) Well, you wouldn't put it quite like that 519 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,279 in the intelligence community, but, er, well... 520 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,319 Great. Great. Great. Thank you. 521 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,519 Thank you so much for your help. 522 00:20:37,599 --> 00:20:39,119 -You're very welcome. -Yeah. 523 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,400 Ah! 524 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,759 I see what you're doing. 525 00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:43,279 Yeah, very clever. 526 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,160 I don't appreciate that tone, Alison. 527 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,359 Look, if I didn't find anything, 528 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,640 then there wasn't anything to find. 529 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,279 I can assure you, nothing gets past me. 530 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,160 Throughout the entirety of my military career, 531 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,960 not a single spy ever infiltrated my unit. 532 00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:57,599 Or loads did and you just never found them. 533 00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:58,880 Right. Okay, okay. 534 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,519 So looks like it's all up to me. 535 00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:01,599 Well, I'm just gonna have to come out and ask her. 536 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,079 How the hell am I gonna do this? 537 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,000 -Jacqui. -Michael. 538 00:21:08,079 --> 00:21:10,279 Now, before you say anything, can I firstly just apologize? 539 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,400 -I don't mean... -Michael, stop talking. 540 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,680 I feel the same way. 541 00:21:15,759 --> 00:21:16,759 -What? -Come on. 542 00:21:16,839 --> 00:21:18,000 No time like the present. 543 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,880 Right, the thing is, Lucy, is that 544 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,200 I need to know if you... 545 00:21:28,759 --> 00:21:30,519 ...like tea. 546 00:21:30,599 --> 00:21:32,519 (STUTTERS) Would you like some tea? 547 00:21:32,599 --> 00:21:34,319 -Because I've got a range. -Erm, yeah, 548 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,079 -if you're making one. -Right, that's it. 549 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,440 Enough petty fussing around, pussy. 550 00:21:38,519 --> 00:21:40,240 -It's time for you to come clean, young lady. -The thing is, 551 00:21:40,319 --> 00:21:41,759 -it's, well, it's... -Time to blow cover. 552 00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:43,079 -If I could... -I'll be coming from the cold. 553 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,839 -The real question is... -Are you okay? 554 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,359 -(EXHALES) Yeah. -(SPEAKING GERMAN) 555 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,920 ALISON: Er, I'm just... 556 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,400 (IN ENGLISH) And feel free to answer 557 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,480 -in your native tongue. -I just need to... 558 00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:53,759 KITTY: You tell her, Captain. 559 00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:55,319 She's not welcome here. 560 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,079 How dare you insult this gentlewoman! 561 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,920 -Just one second. -THOMAS: No, no, I disagree. 562 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,920 (ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY) 563 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,079 It's more of like a legal question. 564 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,240 -More than these... -Alison, what's going on? 565 00:22:04,319 --> 00:22:07,039 -(ARGUING CONTINUES) -Er... 566 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,960 No, no, I just thought I could just print them out, 567 00:22:09,039 --> 00:22:10,440 and then I won't have to send them through. 568 00:22:10,519 --> 00:22:11,880 Michael. 569 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,920 Mike, that can wait. 570 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,400 I think we should talk about us. 571 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,640 No. 572 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,440 Well, yes, actually, I think there's been some confusion, 573 00:22:23,519 --> 00:22:25,119 so I just want to be absolutely clear. 574 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,039 -Erm... -(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 575 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:27,960 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 576 00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:33,279 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 577 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,519 You've made yourself quite clear. 578 00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:37,559 (CHUCKLES) 579 00:22:38,599 --> 00:22:40,480 (ARGUING CONTINUES) 580 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:41,359 -All right! -(ARGUING STOPS) 581 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,799 (SMACKS LIPS) 582 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,079 The thing is, 583 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,240 so my solicitor has asked me, 584 00:22:50,319 --> 00:22:55,640 advised me to confirm your identity 585 00:22:55,720 --> 00:23:01,359 and any, well, intentions, er, with regards to... 586 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,799 Well, like, in terms of inheritance on the house. 587 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,880 What? I... I don't want your house. 588 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,799 What... How could you think that? 589 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,000 I... I don't want anything from you. 590 00:23:15,079 --> 00:23:19,599 I found out I had a sister and I wanted that. 591 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,920 And I thought that you might want that. 592 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,559 No, I do. I just... 593 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,000 You know what? I think I was better off on my own. 594 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,119 No, Lucy, wait. I... 595 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,160 Lucy. 596 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,920 Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 597 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,839 Your hand... I... I'm married. 598 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,240 Ooh, that's fine. So am I. 599 00:23:36,319 --> 00:23:37,519 No, no, no. I'm... I'm happily married. 600 00:23:37,599 --> 00:23:40,160 This was all just a misunderstanding. 601 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,680 Those emails, they were typos. 602 00:23:41,759 --> 00:23:43,880 I've got this annoying, erm, keyboard, 603 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,039 and it cut out that line and it added the "X." 604 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,720 And this is really... It's not what I meant. 605 00:23:49,599 --> 00:23:50,599 Really. 606 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,920 Not again. 607 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,759 I'm sorry. I thought you were coming here to fire me. 608 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,039 -I could fire you. -What? 609 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:00,519 God, I said that out loud. No, no, no, no, of course I wouldn't fire you. 610 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:02,680 Not after I do it. Do... Not that I did. 611 00:24:02,759 --> 00:24:04,920 Don't tell HR. 612 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,480 Well, that took a turn. 613 00:24:06,559 --> 00:24:07,960 Hang on, surely it's me that would... 614 00:24:08,039 --> 00:24:09,720 Okay, okay, okay. 615 00:24:09,799 --> 00:24:10,880 If you promise to keep this strictly between ourselves, 616 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:12,039 Here's what I can do for you. 617 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,599 I'm really sorry again. 618 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,680 Yeah. You said. 619 00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:20,279 Are you sure that you won't stay? 620 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,880 Because we barely had pudding. 621 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,000 -Just stay. Pray stay. -LUCY: I think it's better 622 00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:26,079 -if I just clear my head a bit. -Byron? 623 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,119 -Take some time, you know? -Ugh! 624 00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:29,680 No, let her go. 625 00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:32,480 I'm better off without her. No taste, no class. 626 00:24:34,759 --> 00:24:35,920 Are you wearing lipstick? 627 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,920 (SIGHS) 628 00:24:39,039 --> 00:24:41,640 Well, I mean, if you're sure, then... 629 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:42,920 -Are you sure? -I'm sure. 630 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:43,039 Sure, sure? 631 00:24:50,839 --> 00:24:52,440 Call me. 632 00:24:52,519 --> 00:24:53,920 I think you rather snafued the mission there, Alison. 633 00:24:55,079 --> 00:24:56,920 Well, thanks and sorry. 634 00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,880 Fired? 635 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,200 Promoted. 636 00:25:01,279 --> 00:25:02,839 -What? -Long story. 637 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,319 (ALISON CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 638 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,599 I thought she was staying. 639 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:06,640 Long story. 640 00:25:07,519 --> 00:25:09,960 Is it damson red? 641 00:25:10,039 --> 00:25:11,759 -Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah. -Beautiful. 642 00:25:11,839 --> 00:25:12,920 Well, thanks. 643 00:25:15,839 --> 00:25:18,400 Like two crimson rivers 644 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,200 -curling into a turf of delta. -ALISON: Oh, God. 645 00:25:21,279 --> 00:25:23,359 (FANNY GIGGLING) 646 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,279 PAT: Knock, knock. 647 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,480 -Only me. -And me. 648 00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,519 Er, look, Top of Humphrey, 649 00:25:29,599 --> 00:25:31,079 I know you don't approve of... 650 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,079 Please, just let me speak. 651 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,640 Well, I can't pretend all this didn't take me by surprise. 652 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,839 But what I do know about love? 653 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,119 My marriage ended with me getting me head chopped off, so... 654 00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:48,440 If some part of me likes some part of you, 655 00:25:48,519 --> 00:25:51,440 then couldn't we all just give this a chance? 656 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,119 Oh, dear. 657 00:26:06,279 --> 00:26:08,599 I don't know where we go from here. 658 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,000 If it's one thing I do know is that love... 659 00:26:11,079 --> 00:26:12,960 -No. No, no. -Why? 660 00:26:13,039 --> 00:26:14,480 That's ruined it for me. 661 00:26:14,559 --> 00:26:16,160 Oh, and I don't know what I ever saw in him. 662 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,160 And to think I was... Oh! 663 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,680 That... Oh, out of my way! 664 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,400 She's back. 665 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,799 Well, 666 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,759 I guess it's just you and me... (GROANS) 667 00:26:28,839 --> 00:26:29,079 (GRUNTS) 668 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:31,640 Fair enough. 669 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,920 CAPTAIN: Interesting day. 670 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000 It's so easy to make assumptions about people 671 00:26:37,079 --> 00:26:38,160 and then you find, well, 672 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,599 you don't really know them at all. 673 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,640 Half the time we don't even ourselves. 674 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,680 But I suppose that we all have our little secrets. 675 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:50,799 Well, good night, old thing. 676 00:26:52,519 --> 00:26:54,200 (KISSES) Mm. 677 00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:56,759 (EXHALES) 678 00:26:56,839 --> 00:26:58,759 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 44987

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.