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What the fuck is that?
What the hell?
There seems to be a problem.
- Yeah. There's a... - It's... That's not mine.
- What's in your truck isn't yours? - Yes. Well, no...
No, those pigs are mine, my little piggies.
I've been saying it for years, we need to innovate.
For years I've been saying that. It's a paradigm shift.
Behold the future.
Kosher pork.
I'm in direct contact with Paris' great Rabbi, he's going crazy.
He wants 50 of those first thing in the morning Monday.
- That's crazy. - Sir?
Are these pigs yours or not?
- Yes. - Of course.
It was a surprise for my father. You totally ruined it.
Not your fault, though it is.
You're doing your job. Very well done.
- But... - I don't get it.
Joseph is right.
Well, it's just a complicated operation, a genetic modification of the hoof.
- Exactly. - It's the future.
If you have some money, that's where you should put it.
Forget Bitcoin, that's old news.
To all units, a burglary...
Okay, fine.
We'll be on our way.
That's it.
- Yeah, good night. - Right, good night.
- Good night, gentlemen. - Good night.
Damn.
- Wait for them to leave. There you go. - You rocked, Jo.
- What's with the pigs? - No.
- What are those? - Don't ask me.
- Aure. - What's with the pigs?
- Well, they... - It's not Aure. It's me.
What?
I bought 10,000 euros worth of cannabis cuttings.
- Fucking unbelievable. - Incredible.
I didn't know Yohan would stick them into pigs.
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
It's worth thinking it over. The cuttings are here now.
Things might be looking up.
Are these things looking up?
Is jail looking up?
Easy, you brute, it's fragile.
Why are you even talking?
Me and Enrico are this business. Period.
What business?
If you don't start growing now and the law passes,
you'll only have spicy sausage and pastrami to sell.
Two and a half million.
What?
I miscalculated, it's actually 2.5.
If Grandma breaks the cuttings up four times,
with a well set-up barn, no trouble,
the first harvest should be worth 2.5 million euros.
Right.
Two million, five hundred thousand.
All right.
Dad, you have to listen to me.
- What? - We all agree that you are the boss.
With Enrico, yes, but you are the boss man.
Okay? I'm just saying that it would suck
not to do this as a family.
Let's make a deal, we split responsibilities.
You'll take care of the store.
You are the visionary.
You'll research how much it will cost to revamp the shop to your liking.
Grandma and Aure will figure out the production part.
Grandma's got a green thumb, and Aure kills it in management.
And Olive and I will find a way to get the money to get started.
You see what I mean?
- What do you think? - What do you mean?
What can I think?
I won't think anything until I talk to Enrico.
Where is he? He is here?
Fuck.
No good.
That's no good.
Come on. No more TV.
How's it going? Olives taste good, Enrico? Like betrayal a bit?
How did you figure you would split it fifty-fifty with my father?
What the fuck? I don't like that.
I'm sorry. I got carried away.
Besides, it's on you. You said those were regular cigarettes, not drugs.
I was a wreck.
When I got home,
I had to climb on a chair
to stop the ceiling from spinning above my head.
- Well, fair enough. - And actually...
You know what? I'll call your dad.
- Yes. - I'll say it was a misunderstanding
and that I'm out.
No, Enrico. You can't get out.
My father thinks my mother sent you.
If you get out, he'll collapse.
It's too much for me, I'm done.
Enrico.
If you stay,
we'll give you two percent.
- Two percent? - Two percent.
Very kind.
You take me for a fool.
You don't respect me. You insult me.
Hold on a minute.
We're talking about 50,000 euros the first year.
Fifty thousand?
- Yes, 50,000 euros. - Yes, 50,000.
- The first year? - Yes!
Fucking hell, that's some income.
So?
- I'm in. - Great.
So, from now on, no more games.
We play it straight.
Straighter than straight.
- It's all good then. - Hold on!
We're still on for the new album, right?
Of course.
We're working on it like crazy.
Can you give me a sneak peek?
- We'll do the... We like this one. - Let's go.
We've already done that.
It's the intro, it's a bit... longish, but here we go.
The soil is moisturized,
so I only put half of the recommended amount of water.
Just like tomatoes.
- ...instead of the usual quart. - Really?
Have you never planted any?
- ...watering... - No.
I simply put the pots under the lamps
in a 18/6 cycle.
18 hours of light for 6 hours of darkness.
Forget Tomoko, she's a bitch.
I don't feel like talking about her.
Think about what you didn't like about her.
Was the sex any good?
Yes, it was great.
I'm not asking you about Grandpa.
I can tell you. He sucked in bed.
That's horrible. How did you cope?
I managed.
- Really? The naughty way. - Right.
Come here.
Come here, child.
Give me a kiss.
I can't believe you told him.
You should have told him before.
I was about to, I swear.
What were you doing in Amsterdam?
I went with my father for business.
What business?
What do you think?
Meat.
Meat, right?
Aure missed her plane, Ali ran into the Dutch mafia, I don't get it.
That's normal, because nobody explained it to you.
- I'm listening. - It's a very simple story.
My father met Enrico Macias...
If you don't listen, I'll leave.
He met Enrico in his butcher shop.
They got along, talked about Constantine, old times...
One thing leading to another, my dad, this is very embarrassing,
wanted to hit up a whore in Amsterdam.
Long story short, my dad gets into a row with a whore,
which of course meant mafia.
All right, get out.
No, that's the truth.
- Get out. - It's true.
- Believe me. - I can't.
I need to move forward.
So do I, trust me.
I'm always trying and...
Shit, it's Olive. I have to take this, sorry.
Yeah, bro, quickly, I'm making progress.
What? What does she want?
To see me?
Great. We'll talk later. Great, bro. Bye.
I have to go.
All right, I'm sorry.
No need, I want you out.
No, don't take it like that, that's stupid.
I'm not done anyway.
- Yes, we are. - No.
No, it's not over.
This whole story's bullshit.
I swear that one day we'll laugh about it.
We'll laugh so loud,
so loud, believe me,
that one day people will say, "Stop laughing so loud,
you're being disruptive." I'll be back real soon.
Clém, sorry. You can't stay here. It's our lab and...
It's a question of hygiene.
- Sorry. - Don't you feel shitty about selling meat?
Animals suffering, you know?
Who's that?
I'm here. Hi!
Good timing. I need to see Gilbert for quotes. You take over?
- All right. - Sorry, Gérard.
- How are you? - Yeah.
How you doing, bro?
Your dad's cool.
- He's cool. - He's nice.
Listen, I have good news and bad news.
- Well, let's start with the bad news. - All right.
All right, the good news.
Legalization is coming along fine, and I got you a meeting at the ministry.
- Great. Bravo. - Awesome, isn't it?
Love it. But the bad news is that I still don't have...
- Yes! The money. - What?
It's about the money.
There it is.
- Eight grand, the rest is coming soon. - The money, yes. But no.
Keep your change.
Let's not go half-way.
- All right. - I want everything in 48 hours.
- What? - Yes, I understand.
- All of it. - All of it.
- All of the money, Olivier. - I got it.
You want to have lunch?
Me?
No, you.
Me, you mean?
Yeah.
You were looking dead in the middle.
- You want...? - No, it doesn't work for me.
For me neither.
Why did you ask then?
So, what time?
I told you it wasn't good for me.
Great, it works for me.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
Well, see you later.
- See you later. - Ciao.
- She's a real psycho. - She is.
But we need her, and we have to find her money.
And be nicer with her. I thought you were obnoxious.
- I... No, bro. - You were, believe me.
Have you been smoking for long?
I started because of my joints.
I kept at it.
It relaxes me.
Really nicely.
I admit that...
it feels good.
I need it, the others are a pain.
Yeah. Tell me...
Do you know someone who...?
Someone who does renovations?
We want to revamp...
I like that little dresser.
We want to...
revamp the...
the butcher shop.
Forget about contractors.
They are the worst kind.
- You're right. - They tried to murder me for my veranda.
I ended up doing it myself.
Ten times less expensive.
That's what I'm going to do.
They think I'm a loser.
That weed shop...
will be candy.
I'll blow their minds.
- One grand. - One grand.
I'll go through your things, like your socks.
Leave me alone. I lost everything, got nothing left.
- You're on your own. - Fuck.
You think I can ask Grandma? Maybe she hides money under her mattress.
I invested everything, and I am not deaf.
- There you go. - Sorry, Grandma.
Really, nothing?
- Some savings account? - God, forget it!
She's broke, so am I. Leave me alone. You can manage on your own.
- Fuck off. - You calm down now.
- I am calm. - Don't talk to me like that.
I get you're pissed about your sneakers, but calm down.
It's got nothing to do with that.
Go talk to her.
All right.
What?
What's wrong?
- I got dumped. - No way.
- Yes way. - Sorry.
I didn't even know you had a boyfriend.
It wasn't a man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie, I suspected it.
Sure.
It's okay.
Don't worry.
Does Grandma know?
- Does she? - If she knows?
You knew?
Yes, I knew.
You and your little secrets. Did you tell Dad?
No, not at all.
I don't want to tell him now.
It's about time though, we're in 2019.
Yes, on my own time.
Thanks.
My relationship with Aïda is rocky, too.
- I know. - We both suck at women.
And that makes you laugh.
- It's been three hours! - You called me last minute.
- You're a pain. - Sit down, the guy's coming.
- Who is he? - Don't worry.
He's the only guy who agreed to lend us money.
He's going to lend us 20 grand?
I asked for 50.
No way, bro. What the fuck?
We owe 20,000 to that psycho already.
- There's the renovations, equipment... - How do we pay him back?
Are you stupid?
Two and a half million, dude.
- Fuck all. - Right.
I really don't know him?
- The fam! - Hey!
- Youss! - How you doing?
- Joseph, how are you? - What's up?
So, you need uncle Youss?
No, bro, we don't need you. But I'm so glad to see you.
You mentioned 50 grand.
- Yes. Yes, we did. - No, not at all.
Guys, make up your minds. One says yes, the other says no, what?
- No, not at all. - Yes.
Yes or no?
We don't want to bother you with that.
My dough's not good enough for you?
Your dough is lovely, wonderful.
It's just that you're part of the family.
You're Ali's and Aïda's brother. It's complicated.
Why Aïda?
- What? - My sister.
Why are you talking about her?
Because she's your sister.
You messing?
No, why are you angry?
Should I fuck you up?
- What? Calm down. - Why are you talking about my sister?
- Rico! - No!
- Are you crazy? - Why are you shooting him?
It's all good, it's for laughs.
That was a beauty.
It's all good, we're joking. I'll tell you,
from the moment we work together, I want jokes.
I want dirty jokes, puns.
No dirty jokes, no way!
- It's okay. - No!
Sorry. He's crazy.
Honest, he told me
you needed 50,000 for a weed business, right?
You told him?
- I had no choice. - But...
- I asked for 50... - Have you got shit for brains?
Stop it!
Here's how it works with that kind of money.
I'm giving you 50 grand now.
I want it back in two months.
With 30 percent interest.
- That's a lot. - Yes, but it's legal. Shut up.
No, but I...
Then shut up.
Then it's 2,000 more for each day late.
That's a lot.
Shut up.
And obviously, after two weeks... Rico!
- No! - No!
- Fuck! - Shit!
- We said stop that! - Shut up!
Stop it, bro.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
When my money's out, there's no more "bro."
I don't give a fuck! Just don't shoot us!
- What are you gonna do? - What?
Take your dough and your guys and go!
- Really? - Yeah, get out!
Right, 50 grand in 48 hours is easy.
Especially with your fuck faces.
Don't worry about us.
Too bad, you were about to leave the shop behind.
Come on, let's go. We're wasting our time.
Come on, bros.
Wait. Stop!
What?
- We're in. - What?
- What's that, bro? - What did you say?
We're in, we're good.
There we go.
Everything's peachy.
I was thinking...
It's all a joke.
Fuck that.
But as I explained to Olivier,
there's no way Ali gets dragged into this.
One wayward son's enough for my mother.
Okay.
And of course,
if you try to fuck me over,
on my mother's life... Rico!
- Come on! - Stop.
- No, stop. - No, come on.
- Stop! - I'm kidding.
On my mother's life, he's fast.
Bye, fuckfaces.
- It's taking a while. - Indeed.
I swear everything's there.
No.
- Are you kidding? - The 20 grand's there.
But not Olivier.
Clém, I'm his friend, not his pimp. He's free.
Very well, so am I.
What are you doing?
Yes, Dad. How are you?
- I'm okay, honey. - You're bluffing.
And you're bad at it.
- Yeah. - What's up?
How's it going with the waivers?
They keep coming in, honey. Why?
- I heard about... - Stop that.
I'm in love.
I can arrange a dinner with him.
- Okay, a dinner... - Yes, but if he doesn't want more,
that's not my problem.
It that clear?
Yes.
Enough with the blackmail.
Deal. In any case, for the dessert,
he'll get a little apricot.
If you know what I mean.
A lychee.
- Little candy to suck on. - Got it.
I got the message.
Are you sure it's safe?
We have no choice.
Otherwise the juice we'll be using would give us away.
In case of suspicious activity, Power calls the cops.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I think we're good. Try it. - Okay.
- Let's go. - What are you doing?
We're hacking the power grid.
Great.
Come on, Grandma, let's go check.
Hang on.
I need to talk to you.
Right now?
Yes, right now.
- There's a problem with Clémentine. - What?
What does that psycho want?
A dinner with you.
Or our case won't go through.
- Some technical difficulties. - What the fuck did you do, bro?
I screwed up.
It's okay. You know what?
She creeps me out, I don't want to hang out with her.
It's just a dinner. Come on!
I know you.
What's the deal?
Is it a regular dinner, or a dinner with benefits?
No.
It's just a regular dinner... with benefits, yeah.
Shit. You know what? Okay.
Okay.
- I'll have dinner with her. - Yes.
- Some French kissing... - No.
- Yes, and then that's it. - Olive.
You must hang on until legalization, or it will be a nightmare.
Are you insane?
You think I'm going to waste three months of my life with her?
Sorry. There has to be another way.
Fucking hell.
Are you kidding me? No clients in 48 hours?
Incredible. Where were you?
I had an emergency.
An emergency?
You're fired.
Wait.
Wait. Don't worry, I'll get myself together.
No, I'm done supporting you.
I pay you, raise your kid, take him on vacation.
Stop milking it.
Hand me the keys.
I'll do nights.
I'll sleep at the airport, live there.
Give me the fucking keys.
Joseph is coming to talk business,
and then I'll come over. Hold on, he's here.
Two hours to get here...
I know. It took me some time to look good.
Excuse me, I'll call you back.
To look good for...?
Joseph didn't tell you I was coming?
No, he didn't.
Well...
All right, then I'll... I'll just go.
- Clémentine. - Yes.
- Since you're here... - Cool. Here.
I hope he didn't say I loved you.
What?
What did you say?
I said...
Oh, well.
For real, Khabib is the best right now in the UFC.
- He's unbeatable on the ground. - We agree about that.
But he's weak in feet and fists...
Did you see how he KO'd McGregor?
All right...
- You actually know a lot about this. - Yes.
Martial arts are my passion.
I'm a purple belt in Jiu-Jitsu.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Absolutely not. If you want,
we can get on the floor and I'll take you out in a second.
You're so confident.
Of course, I'll fuck you up.
- I'll fuck you up. - I'll fuck you.
- I'll fuck you. - I'll fuck you.
- I'll fuck you. - Okay.
- So? - Fuck, you won't get off me.
Hold on, I'm putting you down.
All right. Let me go!
- I can't believe it. - Okay.
Sorry.
That's your thing.
Maybe.
Please.
Fuck.
EXPERIENCE
"July 2016 Break-up."
She left me.
- "September 2016, catastrophic relapse." - It was tough.
FOR MY LOVE
Aïda?
Do we have a deal at 1300?
Fifteen hundred and we're good.
- I need help, it's heavy. - I'm negotiating.
This isn't satisfactory.
And I speak English.
Do you speak English?
Excuse me?
Oh, shit!
It's leaking everywhere!
We're fucking up my muscle fibers!
It's never gonna work.
Oh, fuck.
We did it!
Such a beautiful shop
turned into such a mess? I can't believe it.
I messed up.
How could you make such a mess by yourself?
I need to hire people to finish this.
But I have problems...
Ten thousand.
- What? - I need 10,000.
Right, 10,000.
Go to your family, because me...
Not my family, I can't tell them. They don't even know about this.
It's supposed to be a surprise.
That's a beautiful surprise.
Since my Béné's been gone, I'm all over the place.
Don't cry.
It's going to be okay.
You're breaking my heart.
Did you smoke all this?
- Yes. - You're killing yourself. Are you crazy?
I'm screwing up, you have to help me.
Help me, please!
All right.
I'll help you.
But I'm not giving you money.
I'll give you gold.
I found this in the back.
It was behind the boards.
Your mother loved to paint.
She had stars in her eyes.
But shit in her hands.
I was scared for a minute,
because let's all agree to say that
- this is crap. - The bottom one is good.
I got depressed when I saw them.
- This one's a disaster, the blue one... - Forget it.
You okay, bro?
No more, bro.
I'm coming to work.
Impossible.
Sorry.
I get it.
When I tell Aïda, she'll be happy to hear about what you're doing here.
Wait.
Are you really doing this?
Yeah.
Come on.
Come.
Welcome.
Ali, since you're here,
meet our Pastraweed.
That's a good name.
For Ludmila, let's all sing Mazel tov
For Ludmila, let's all sing Mazel tov
Good evening, national police.
Good evening.
Just letting you know that you'll see a lot of us.
- Really? - Yep.
Next door is going to be our official shooting range.
Wow.
Don't worry, we only shoot targets.
Or bad guys.
- You're good. - Great.
I'll get going, I see you have family over.
We're celebrating.
- Well, see you around then. - Yes, see you around.
- Bye, have a good night. Thank you. - Good night. Bye.
Well... We're screwed.
Subtitle translation by Nadège Traoré-Dulot
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