Original subtitles

It'll blow over.

Hold on, your dad's not the blow-over type.

And he won't sell to Waldman. He can't stand the guy.

The shop's mine. I've got a good feeling.

Like you did with Clémentine?

She was high as a kite the other night.

She might have made up that legalization thing.

We'll find out soon enough.

- Gentlemen, hello. Please come in. - Hello.

She has a servant.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

You mentioned something the other night, and we wanted to talk it over with you.

- Yeah? What did I talk about? - Well...

You talked about the legalization of cannabis.

Do you remember?

Oh, shit.

- What? - What?

I was so high. If my father finds out, he'll kill me.

It's true then?

Yeah, but it's super classified. If you rat me out, I'm dead.

Don't worry, we're discreet.

- It'll stay between us. - Between us.

- Not a word. - No.

You remember my father's butcher shop?

- Yeah, very hip. - I'm taking over.

And the idea is to revamp the place,

to turn it into a hip weed shop in the heart of Paris.

"Hazan Weeds." With a reference to...

- A hot spot for Parisian weed lovers. - Yeah, maybe. And?

We thought about you, how you could help, your dad being a minister and all.

We'd get info before everyone else,

our file on top of the pile...

What's in it for me?

Shares in the company.

Okay.

- Yes! - There we go!

- I'm not interested. - You're not...

- What? - What?

You know, guys, I usually follow my gut.

But your concept...

It stinks.

Your feet stink? Or the concept?

- Both. - Too bad for you.

Excuse me, Clémentine, the bathroom...

For number one or number two?

Sorry, isn't there one place for both?

Yes, there is. I just...

I like to know.

It's...

To the left... The right... On the right at the end of the hallway.

For... all of it.

Make it quick. Let's not stick around too long.

Do you know Olivier?

That Olivier?

Yes.

Well, yeah.

There you go.

There you go what?

Olivier.

I can help you.

I can put your file on top of the pile on my father's desk.

And in exchange, I want Olivier.

Yeah. Okay. I'll see what I can do. No worries.

Yeah, no. You don't get it.

There's no, "No worries, I'll see what I can do."

I want Olivier.

Otherwise your weed shop...

"no dice."

- Hey, bro. - So? How did it go?

- Great. Yeah. - Great?

Perfect.

Beware, I'm going to check.

- I'm happy. - She's very funny.

Joseph didn't tell you?

What's that?

Your weed shop. Your concept.

I love the idea. I'm in.

- That's awesome. So, what's the deal? - Great.

The deal is that we decided to... What is it again?

A little expense budget.

- A little budget? Cool. - Right.

- Twenty grand. - Twenty thousand!

If it's a hassle, tell me right away.

- Money is not a problem. - The money and...

And...

- Yes, don't worry. - And...

You got it.

I don't get it.

Whatever, it's all good.

What's all good?

- Your servant has our jackets? - Exactly.

- Bertrand, right? - That's it. Bertrand!

What are you doing here?

Well, it's time to work.

I don't want to see you here anymore.

Dad.

I'm sorry about yesterday.

I apologize. I didn't mean what I said.

But you're not selling to fucking Waldman.

- Hi, Joseph. - Hi, Waldman, I didn't see you there.

I'll come back with the architect.

- There's work to do. - Yes, of course.

No, Dad, don't do this, please.

I have an amazing idea.

Forget your idea, it's already sold.

- What? - Yeah.

- You're not going to hear me out? - You don't want this shitty joint.

- Right? Give me the keys. - I do want it.

- I said I'm sorry. - Right. Thank you.

And the keys to the truck, too.

Very classy.

Bro, it's a disaster.

We won't take over the shop.

What?

Youssef?

What do you think?

Shut your hole, I'm buttoning up.

Got out on parole this morning.

This morning. Great.

Here he is!

What's with the face?

- What face? - You're not happy to see uncle Youssef?

I'm super happy. I didn't know you were getting out.

- How are you? - What are you doing?

- What? - Give me a kiss. Come on.

A kiss!

There you go.

What's his deal?

The motherfuckers let me out for good behavior.

- Damn, brother. - What about you?

- I'm good. - Still working with your dad?

A little, but I'm doing other stuff.

You're killing me.

I got five years in jail, and you got butcher for life.

No.

You're exactly the same.

- Really? - Same gross shirt.

A total slob.

Okay, Youss, do you like the suit?

It's fantastic, but just a little too short.

The monitor's showing.

Can you lengthen the pants?

JP, Mom's here. Grab your bag.

JP!

You're not kissing Uncle Youssef?

Hurry up! Bye, JP.

How are you? I missed you so much.

Get in the back, I'll be right there.

- How are you? - Hi!

- How are you, Mélanie? - Good. Bye.

- Ali! Come here. - How are you, Virgile?

Why don't you do airports anymore?

It's too tense between taxis and drivers.

I don't like the vibe.

I don't give a rat's ass. Seriously.

It's my company. When I tell you to do airports, what do you do?

Airports.

Exactly.

- Don't forget I hired you for Mélanie. - I know. Thanks.

Not for you.

- How much? Three? Four? - Three fifty.

Here's 400 for you.

- Thanks. - You guys are coming tonight.

We're celebrating at Moktar's.

- No, bro. - Why?

- I have... - I don't give a fuck. Cancel.

Cancel everything.

You're coming tonight. There's going to be pussy.

No, we're in relationships.

- Serious? - We have girls.

With your face? With whom?

A girl who...

- It's going well? - ...is great. We're in love.

You put your butcher's sausage in her ass.

I don't do that. I really respect her.

Like, "I respect her."

He said he peed in her hair...

What are you saying?

Remember, you told me...

Are you dense, bro?

- What is he talking about? - He's joking.

He's kidding.

Did you fuck in jail or what?

What kind of question is that?

Fine, don't come tonight. You grossed me out.

Take that, please.

See you, bro.

- Bye. - Bye, Youss.

Great to see you again.

What an asshole. What a fucking asshole.

What did you say earlier? The shop is a no-go.

Yeah.

We'll find another location.

With what money?

Do you know how much it is?

Of course.

The shop was the perfect setup.

It's over. It's over.

If only we could convince your dad, but he's inflexible.

Even if God asked him to open a weed shop,

he wouldn't give a fuck.

I have an idea.

What?

Are you hungry?

If we bring him Enrico, my dad will go for it.

This is his restaurant?

No, it's where he hangs out.

He's all over the place.

He even has his own remote. It's a known fact.

What are we going to tell him?

Let me handle it, I have an idea.

Bricks with merguez.

- Lemon. - Best spot ever.

- Fuck me! - The two "complets."

Here, take the plates.

These big soles are only found Tunisia.

- It's utterly delicious. - Incredible.

Homemade couscous. Make some room.

And the spaghetti.

There you go.

You're all set.

That shit's serious.

I'm going to shit my pants.

And finally, desserts.

- Oh, no! - No!

- That's too much. - The check.

Excuse me. Do you know if Enrico's coming by today?

It's Mr. Macias second home. We never know when he'll be here.

- His table's always ready. - Is that his table?

That's what I said.

- And... We'll come again. - Wow, so friendly.

Two twenty-nine?

- Are you kidding me? - No!

- It's way too expensive. - No!

Fuck, it's true.

- Dude, you're buying? - What?

- Come on, give me a break. - Please, sir.

I'll put it on my expense report, but honestly...

Are you going to include Clémentine's 20 grand?

What are you talking about? Why pay her?

We neither have the butcher shop nor Enrico.

Whatever, we'll take care of that later. We have to secure her support.

Twenty grand and she won't work with anyone else.

Baski, how much are your cheapest suits again?

Thirty-five euros, but they're crap.

Perfect.

Can you make "Made in Italy" tags

and sew them on?

What name?

Something very Italian.

Like "Gardnarella."

But it's crap, Olivier.

Stop saying that, that's what I want.

- I'm just saying it's crap. - Yeah, but...

You've called me ten times, fuck your poker thing.

Yeah, I know,

I'll leave you alone, but this is huge. If I win, I'll see the end of the tunnel.

Fine, go ahead. So, the guy just went all in.

Hello? Hello?

The flop is jack of hearts...

- You're breaking up, I didn't hear you. - Jack of hearts...

Tell me what the flop is.

Aure? Can you hear me?

Hello?

- Why is it activated? - Hello?

Oh, fuck! I said "tunnel"!

- What a moron! Aure, don't hang up. - I can't hear anything.

- Aure, please! - Hello?

- There's six seconds left. - Hello?

- I can't hear anything. - What do I do?

- Aure! Fuck. Five seconds. I'm paying. - Hello?

Yes!

Come on!

No!

- Joe? Joe? - No!

Gardnarellas are an Italian wonder.

You think I'm an idiot?

I know "Garndnanella."

How much?

One fifty each.

That's a lot.

Yes, I know. That's not for you.

Hey, you think I'm a bum?

I'll take your suits.

You hit the jackpot. That's a huge deal.

You're going to love them.

Yeah. The jackpot.

I'm subletting reluctantly, I just need money right now.

Flushing is just a little tricky, but I'll explain.

You just need to be flexible.

- There's a tap right here. - Okay.

Open it with your finger on this one,

wait until you feel a vibration.

It means it's filling up. You wait about seven seconds.

Six, seven. Okay.

Then I guarantee everything will flow right out.

Poop...

You can eat tandoori.

You can do Mexican nights.

Okay. As for the rent, for the six months advance in cash,

are we good?

- Yes, no problem. - Great.

Here.

Well, welcome to your place.

Forget it. Dad doesn't want to understand I'm going to Japan to sell my sneakers.

- This suitcase is worth €40,000. - Yes, but...

Don't leave angry.

I tried talking to him many times. I'm tired of it.

He'll accept it eventually.

Let him deal with the reality of it.

That's what sucks.

Did you plan anything for you last night?

A date, maybe?

I already met someone in Japan.

Someone I really like.

Why didn't you say anything?

I'm an Ashkenazi, but I loved sausage at your age.

Grandma!

I don't want to know that.

Don't play goody two-shoes.

And...

Actually...

sausage is not, like, a food...

I like so much. I don't really like sausage actually.

I don't know if...

Since when?

Since forever.

I told mom when I was 15.

Really?

That's good.

- Yes. - It's great.

Abi gezunt, cherries taste just as good.

Damn, Grandma!

I'm telling you something huge and you talk about cherries.

That suit isn't beige.

Fuck you, Olive. I look like a jar of taramasalata.

Toast some blinis and spread me on them.

- You're handsome, babe. - I'm not, I look awful.

I saw your brother at the store, by the way.

I know, my mother told me he got out.

I don't care. He's dead to me.

Honey. He's still family.

My family is my parents, and they're coming, so...

If you don't like the suit, just change.

It sucks, I agree. I'll put on jeans.

- My parents are mellow. - I know.

ENRICO'S HERE! COME NOW!

Shit!

- What? - The grocer tells me

parking enforcement is making rounds, they'll tow the truck.

- Seriously? No, you're a pain. - Yeah.

Don't worry. Worst case scenario, I need 25 minutes to find a spot.

- They're almost here. - I know, I'll be as fast as I can.

- As fast as possible? - Yeah.

- Quickly, right? - Yes, quickly.

My little salmon.

Good evening.

Good evening, Mr. Macias.

- How are you? - Young man.

Sorry to interrupt your TV.

I wanted to tell you I'm a huge fan.

Since forever.

You know what? A young man like you enjoying my music

makes me really happy.

You have no idea. I listen to you every day.

Really, and it's not just me, my buddies, my family.

- We're crazy about you. - Thanks.

It would be an honor for us

to have you at our table tonight.

If you please.

Sorry, but I'm really tired tonight.

Ouch.

Allow me to insist,

because honestly...

Honestly, no.

Sure?

- Certain. - Dinner's on us.

Enrico Macias at our table!

Thank you very much. Carla?

Can I have the "complet" with sole,

spaghetti, merguez,

loubia and grains,

pkaila, sea bass, mullet...

You invited him, now he's ordering the whole menu.

And Boukha for everyone.

AÏDA WHERE R U???

Come on. Let's go!

Parking in Paris is a nightmare.

An hour and half.

We found a spot right away.

Whatever your announcement is, I hope it's worth it.

She was beautiful Just like sunshine

She only wanted to eat All that's fried and sweet

AÏDA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Bravo!

- Bravo. - Thanks so much.

That's good. You two are talented.

You are so good,

yes, that I want you to write my new album.

You are born improvisers.

- It would be great. - It was delicious. Wow! The last one?

But, Enrico...

It would be a pleasure for us, but in return,

to be honest with you, we'd need a little favor.

Of course, it's all good.

Right. My father...

He has a butcher shop, he's a butcher.

He's your greatest fan ever.

We would like to start the shop on a different business,

go a different route, but my father is like a concrete wall.

You're the only one who can make him change his mind.

There's no other way.

Why not?

- Really? - What kind of business?

It's a business...

It's cannabis.

- Cannabis? - Don't freak out.

- Hash? - Yes.

I'm going to tell you a secret.

I know this...

Enrico...

I know... Enrico?

Enrico?

- Yes. - I know it from the minister himself.

Cannabis will be legalized in three months.

- For real. - It's for real.

Those who get on board now

will get filthy rich.

All right? So, we need to keep the shop,

- it's very important. - What's in it for me?

Ten tailor-made suits.

Gardnarellas.

- Here's a specimen. Exceptional. - It's high quality.

I have some issues with drugs.

- I can't. No way. - Who's talking about drugs?

It's going to be regulated, legal, clean.

- You have my word. - Sorry, but...

I can't get into stuff like that.

Impossible.

Gaston.

I will open my heart to you.

Here we go.

I lost my mother last year.

Yeah.

It's okay.

She admired you so much, there's no word to describe her admiration.

To see you tonight in front of me is just as if she...

were giving me a sign.

I'm going to be honest, I'm not letting you go.

I'm so sorry, really. I drove around, like, two hours.

Good evening. How are you?

I'm so sorry.

The car...

couldn't find parking.

- How are you, Djamel? - Good evening.

- It's all cold now. - How are you? I'm sorry.

It's a good thing you started without me.

Fuck, really?

Oops.

Sorry.

Sounds like I farted.

- You didn't fart. - I farted.

In front of the parents.

- How did they take it? - In the face.

Full blown.

It would have been complicated to tell them we were together after that,

so, I made up a story about a farewell video

we were making for Aure.

Stupid.

Did you shart?

Did I what? "Shart"?

Did you shit a little in your underwear, or was it a smooth fart?

I'm telling you Aïda is about to dump me and you're talking skid marks?

I'm just saying. She'll forgive you for a little fart.

She loves you. She'll definitely get over it.

- Dude, celebrate. - Celebrate what?

- We're moving forward. - Where?

We don't even have 25% of the money for that crazy-ass Clémentine.

What about Enrico?

- It's not done yet. - Of course it is. Stop it.

I briefed him. I gave him fake joints.

I taught him how to do blowbacks. He's a natural.

It'll work out.

I hope so.

Good...

No way.

- I can't believe it. - Why?

But you... Sorry.

All right.

What can I do for you?

What merguez do you have?

Yes.

Only the finest.

- Yeah. - Enrico Macias.

In my shop. I'm huge fan, you know.

- Your biggest fan is standing before you. - Thank you.

Look.

This is your guitar.

Olympia 1973.

Signed.

Autographed.

You think I play on guitars like that?

I only use Fenders or Favinos.

Everyone knows it.

I have a certificate of authenticity. It's proof.

That thing proves nothing.

- Really? - I can't stand these crooks

who cheat poor people like you. It's a disgrace.

A disgrace.

It's true.

Mr. Macias.

Are you not feeling well?

Mr. Macias, hold on. Come, sit down.

A glass of water?

A glass of water?

No, thank you.

I have a treatment for that.

- A treatment? - Yes.

Mr. Macias.

- Do you mind if I light it up here? - Right.

This is frowned upon outside.

Yeah, but drugs are bad for you, Mr. Macias, if I may...

This drug, as you say, if it didn't exist,

I would be blind because of my glaucoma.

No. You have glaucoma?

Yeah.

Care to try?

You're missing out, really.

That's kind of you, but I...

Never mind.

You're okay, bro?

And you? How's it going?

They're still in there.

It's been three hours. I think it's going well. They're chatting.

They're having fun.

It seems to be working.

Good, because I did something crazy.

What did you do?

- You know the fake joints? - Yeah?

They're real.

Yeah.

Are you fucking with me, dude?

I haven't played like that since...

Constantine.

Look at my arthritis, look at that flexibility.

Cannabis works wonders, Enrico.

Call me Gaston, please.

- What? - Yes.

- Enrico's for the public. You're a friend. - Okay.

- That's nice. - Yeah, of course.

You know...

The guitar...

That's how I seduced...

Béné.

Yeah?

She loved the guitar.

What a beauty.

- I miss her, you know. - It's all right.

Don't dwell.

Come closer.

Listen, I have a secret.

I'm friends with a great minister.

Really?

I learned through him...

that cannabis is going to be legalized.

Billions flood Amsterdam.

Honey is about to flow out of the pot for those who are on top of it.

Better than the GSM.

GSM? Oh, right.

It's going to rain billions.

- Let me see that. - Billions.

The happy Sunday billionaire

- All of his toils will forswear - Forswear!

- He's just happy as a clam - As a clam!

Wake up, Olive. He's coming out.

Fuck.

Enrico!

Over here.

Enrico. You okay?

How did it go?

I rolled out my best arguments.

Yeah?

He didn't budge.

- Shit. - I'm sorry, kids.

Shit!

We'll talk about the suits tomorrow. Right now, I'm...

a mess.

What you did was nasty.

You drugged me. Unbeknownst to me.

It's because of him. He's just a prankster.

- Whatever. - I'm sorry.

We're done.

- It's over. - It's over.

Fuck.

Let's hit the sack, I'm tired.

- Tonight is a little complicated. - Why?

A girl's waiting for me at home.

I'll call you when she leaves.

Two, 3:00 a.m. max.

- Forget it. - Bro.

- I'll be quick, dude. - No big deal.

I'm no bum.

What are you trying to tell me, my love?

What the...?

- Can you spare some change? - Cut it out!

- Change! - No...

No, I can't. It's the third time!

I gave you everything.

- Come on. Check your back pocket! - Fucking pain in the ass.

That's enough. You go home now.

Stop pestering people.

- A cigarette? Paper? - No, I don't smoke.

I'm not a stationary store. Leave me alone.

- Where are you going? - What? I'm going home. Thank you.

This place is full of losers.

What a nuisance.

What a pain in the ass.

What now?

AMSTERDAM BRUSSELS

Hey!

Hey! I'm in the back of the truck!

Subtitle translation by Nadège Traoré-Dulot