All language subtitles for Bicentennial Man (1999) English.srt - eng(2)

[ Mechanical
Buzzing, Beeping ]

[ Electronic Noises
Continue ]

NICE PLACE, HUH ?
I'VE SEEN BETTER.

EVERYBODY DOWNSTAIRS !

GOOD AFTERNOON.
AFTERNOON, SIR.
WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS THING ?

JUST THROUGH THERE, THANK YOU.
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
I'VE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU !

WANT ME TO PLACE HIM
RIGHT OVER HERE, SIR ?
YUP, JUST OVER THERE.

H-HERE'S A PLACE. HERE.
YEAH, OKAY. MOVE IT OVER HERE.

THERE YA GO. NICE AND EASY.
THAT'S RIGHT.

EASY. LIFT IT UP.
[ Grunts ]

SWEETIE, COME AWAY FROM IT,
PLEASE.

W-WHAT IS IT, DADDY ?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WOW.

[ Chuckling ]
WOW.

OH, MY.

[ Delivery Man ]
THANK YOU, SIR.
ENJOY YOUR NDR.

- [ Remote Clicks ]
- [ Electronic Whirring ]

NORTHAM ROBOTICS
HOUSEHOLD MODEL NDR-114,

SERIAL NUMBER 583625.

- HELLO.
- HELLO.

ARE YOU ONE'S FAMILY ?

WELL, UM, I GUESS SO.

IT'S SCARY.

IT'S NOT SCARY.
IT'S STUPID.

- I DOUBT THAT.
- JENNY HARRISON'S FAMILY'S
GOT ONE,

SO DOES KATE McALLISTER--
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.
WHAT IS IT ?

IT'S AN ANDROID.
WHAT'S AN "ANDREW" ?

[ Father Laughs ]

WILL THAT BE ONE'S NAME ?

WELL, WHY NOT ?
IT SOUNDS GOOD.

- HELLO, ANDREW.
- HELLO, SIR.

WOULD YOU CARE TO HEAR
THE THREE LAWS OF ROBOTICS ?

- IT'S SAID TO BE A MOST
ENTERTAINING PRESENTATION.
- OKAY. SURE.

- WILL YOU STEP BACK, SIR,
TO MAXIMIZE PRESENTATION ?
- RIGHT.

[ Whirring Begins,
Accelerates ]

- ** [ Sousa March Begins ]
- [ Gasping ]

FIRST LAW OF ROBOTICS:
A ROBOT MAY NOT INJURE
A HUMAN BEING,

OR, THROUGH INACTION,
CAUSE A HUMAN BEING
TO COME TO HARM.

SECOND LAW:

A ROBOT MUST OBEY
ALL HUMAN ORDERS,

EXCEPT WHERE THOSE ORDERS
COME IN CONFLICT
WITH THE FIRST LAW.

THIRD LAW:
A ROBOT MUST PROTECT ITSELF,

SO LONG AS DOING SO
DOES NOT CONFLICT
WITH THE FIRST TWO LAWS.

** [ March Ends ]

ANDREW,
DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN.

OF COURSE NOT, SIR.
IT IS A ONE-TIME ONLY.

[ Andrew ] THERE IS
ANOTHER OPTION THAT ONE IS
OBLIGATED TO POINT OUT, SIR:

YOU MAY HAVE ONE
WITH OR WITHOUT PERSONALITY.

WOULD YOU CARE TO SEE A DEMO
OF THE PERSONALITY CHIP ?
UH, NO, NO, THANK YOU.

WE'LL STICK WITH WHAT WE'VE GOT.
A WISE CHOICE, SIR,
IF ONE MAY SAY SO.

WELL, YOU'LL BE
STAYING DOWN HERE.
GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED ?

- ONE ONLY REQUIRES ACCESS
TO A POWER OUTLET.
- GOOD.

RIGHT. WELL, UM,
GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.

IT CERTAINLY IS, SIR.

NO. NO, ANDREW,

THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO
"GOOD NIGHT" IS "GOOD NIGHT."

- GOOD NIGHT.
- YES.

YOU JUST SAID "YES."
YES ?

BUT THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO
"GOOD NIGHT" IS "GOOD NIGHT."

- GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.
- GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

- GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.
- GOOD NIGHT, SIR.

- YOU ONLY NEED TO SAY IT ONCE.
- OR ONE WOULD BE SAYING IT
FOREVER, SIR,

IN AN INFINITE VERBAL LOOP.

EXACTLY.

THANK YOU, SIR.
GOOD.

NIGHT.

SORRY, SIR.

[ Electronic
Whirring, Pulsing ]

HONEY, I DON'T WANT IT...
FOLLOWING ME
AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY.

CAN'T-CAN'T YOU TURN IT OFF
OR SOMETHING, PLEASE ?

JUST GIVE HIM A JOB.
IT'LL BE OKAY.

WELL--
SEAT BELTS !
[ Kids ] SEAT BELTS !

[ Computer ] GOOD MORNING,
MR. MARTIN. TODAY'S TEMPERATURE
WILL BE IN THE HIGH 70S.

[ Kids ]
BYE, MOM !

HAVE A GOOD DAY, SWEETHEARTS.
HAVE A GOOD DAY,
SWEETHEARTS.

[ Computer Voice
Continues ]

[ Sighs ]

- MMM. ANDREW,
THIS IS VERY GOOD.
- THANK YOU, SIR.

[ Father ]
DON'T YOU THINK ?
I THINK IT SUCKS.

"SUCKS" ? HOW ?
CHICKENS DO NOT HAVE LIPS.

[ Snickers ]

SHE'S BEING RUDE.
YOU MIND YOUR MANNERS,
YOUNG LADY, PLEASE.

- WE'RE FINE, ANDREW.
- INDEED YOU ARE, SIR.

THE KITCHEN.

IT'S FINE TOO, SIR.

NO.
GO TO THE KITCHEN NOW.

[ Sighs ]

HELLO.

COME ON.

MAYBE IT'S A BIG BLUFF.

JUST A PRETTY FACE.

CHECK.

[ Girl ]
OH, ANDREW,
COULD YOU COME UP ?

SHOULD I--
NO. IT'LL BE FINE.

YES, MISS ?
ANDREW, WOULD YOU PLEASE
OPEN THE WINDOW ?

ONE IS GLAD
TO BE OF SERVICE.

A LOVELY BREEZE.

NOW JUMP.

NO,

OUT THE WINDOW.

[ Dog Barking In Distance ]

DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING ?
WAS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE ?

[ Doorbell Rings ]

[ Brokenly ]
SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
MAY ONE RE-RE-RE-ENTER...

ER-ER ?
WHAT HAPPENED, ANDREW ?

[ Distorted ]
FOR THE SAKE
OF FAMILY HARMONY,

[ Winding Down ]
ONE IS PROGRAMMED
NOT TO TELL.

[ Low Electronic Moaning ]
ANDREW ? ANDREW !

YEAH ?

[ Rattling ]

AMANDA, GRACE,
DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY.

COME IN, ANDREW.
THANK YOU, SI-I-I-R.

[ Whirring Brokenly ]

ANDREW'S NOT A PERSON,
HE'S A FORM OF PROPERTY.

ONE IS NOT
A PER-R-R-R-R-R-R-

SON.

BUT PROPERTY IS
ALSO IMPORTANT.

SO FROM NOW ON,
AS A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE,

IN THIS FAMILY
ANDREW WILL BE TREATED
AS IF HE WERE A PERSON.

WHICH MEANS THERE WILL BE
NO MORE ATTEMPTS TO BREAK HIM.

BREAK HIM ?

YOUR SISTER TRIED
TO KILL ANDREW.

YOU TOO ?

SHH.
[ Whispering ]
SORRY.

COME ON.
EVERYONE UP TO BED.

-WILL YOU BE ALL RIGHT, ANDREW ?
-ONE IS CAPABLE OF
SELF-MAI-AI-AINTENANCE, SIR.

GOOD.

- GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.
- GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.

GUH, GUH, GUH--
G-GOOD NIGHT.

[ Whirring Brokenly ]

[ Muttering Brokenly ]
GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.
GOOD... NIGHT.

MISS, ONE HAS BEEN GIVEN
SPECIFIC ORDERS FOR YOUR SAFETY,

AND THAT IS AN UNSAFE AREA.

NOW, COME DOWN.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

"WELL, I THINK IT'S GONNA BE
SUNNY TONIGHT."

[ Feminine Voice ]
"ME TOO."

[ Falsetto ]
"SO DO I."

HE'S MY FAVORITE.

PRETTY.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HOLD HIM ?

THAT WAS MY FAVORITE.

THEY DON'T EVEN
MAKE HIM ANYMORE.

- CAN IT BE REPAIRED,
LITTLE MISS ?
- NO, IT CAN'T !

- YOU'RE SCREWED.
- I HATE YOU !

GET AWAY FROM ME.

CAN WE FIX HIM ?
NO. LOOK AT HIM--
HE'S IN A MILLION PIECES !

- [ Sighs ]
- I'M SORRY. THERE'S
NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

PUT THE REST OF THEM AWAY.

WOW.

ANDREW !
YES, LITTLE MISS ?

THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT
I EVER GOT.

ONE IS GLAD
TO BE OF SERVICE.

WOULD YOU PLEASE
COME WITH ME ?

DOES THIS INVOLVE
A WINDOW ?

[ Chuckling ]
NO.

YOU CAN SIT HERE.

HIS NAME IS WOOFY,

AND FROM NOW ON...
HE'S YOURS.

WOOFY.
UH-HUH.

BECAUSE SOMETIMES
HE BARKS,

ONCE HE GETS TO KNOW YOU.

OH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I HAVE TO GO
TO SLEEP NOW, ANDREW.

- YES.
- YEAH. CAN YOU, KINDA--

OF COURSE.

- GOOD NIGHT, SWEETHEART.
- GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.

LITTLE MISS ?
SURE. THANKS.

MISS ?

- AFTER YOU.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

ANDREW, DID YOU
REALLY MAKE THIS ?

YES, SIR.

A ROBOT CANNOT
TELL A LIE, ANDREW.

THAT IS NOT
ENTIRELY CORRECT, SIR.

ONE COU LIE,
IF ONE WERE ORDERED TO LIE,

OR IF IT WERE NECESSARY TO TELL
SOME UNTRUTH IN ORDER TO KEEP
A HUMAN BEING FROM HARM,

OR IF ONE'S OWN SAFETY WERE
IN JEOPARDY-- SIR ?
ANDREW.

ONE DID INDEED CARVE THAT
FOR LITTLE MISS.

AND THE DESIGN--
YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT ?
YES, SIR.

- WHAT DID YOU
COPY IT FROM ?
- COPY IT, MA'AM ?

WELL, I MEAN,
YOU DIDN'T JUST GET IT
OUT OF THIN AIR.

YOU GOT IT OUT OF SOME BOOK,
RIGHT, OR USED THE COMPUTER
TO PLOT IT OUT ?

ONE DID NOTHING MORE
THAN STUDY THE RAW MATERIAL
FOR A TIME...

UNTIL ONE CAME TO UNDERSTAND
HOW BEST TO CARVE IT
INTO A SHAPE...

THAT WOULD APPEAL
TO LITTLE MISS'S LOVE
OF TINY MAMMALS.

** [ Soprano Singing Aria ]

** [ Continues ]

** [ Continues, Louder ]

** [ Continues ]

** [ Crescendo ]

YES, YES.
PLEASE COME IN.

I AM SO GLAD YOU CALLED.
MANSKY, DENNIS MANSKY.

RICHARD MARK.

AND AN NDR-114.

NOW, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE,
BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS IT DOING ?

WELL, WHAT INTERESTS ME
IS HE SHOWS A NUMBER
OF CHARACTERISTICS--

LIKE CREATIVITY,
CURIOSITY, FRIENDSHIP--

THAT, FRANKLY,
HAVE TAKEN US BY SURPRISE.

MM-HMM.

ANDREW--
YES, DENNIS ?

SOCIAL AS WELL.

NOW I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING IF I MAY.

NOW, ANDREW CARVED THESE.

THESE ARE
ORIGINAL WORKS OF ART,

AND LAST NIGHT ANDREW SAID,

"I ENJOY MAKING THEM."
"ENJOY."

YES.
SHOULD ONE NOT USE
THAT WORD ?

NO, NO.
IT'S FINE, ANDREW.
SEE WHAT I MEAN ?

IT'S UNUSUAL, SURELY,
TO HEAR A ROBOT TALK
ABOUT ENJOYING SOMETHING.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS,

DO MANY OF YOUR OTHER ROBOTS
HAVE-- HAVE FEELINGS LIKE THIS ?

MUST BE...

SOMETHING IN THE PATHWAYS.

[ Clears Throat ]

SO, THEN, WILL YOU BE WANTING
A REFUND OR A REPLACEMENT ?

NO, NEITHER. I JUST WANTED
TO GET YOUR REACTION TO ANDREW.
I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

HE'S UNIQUE,
WOULDN'T YOU SAY ?

IT IS AN ANOMALY.

NO REFUND, NO REPLACEMENT--

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT ?

- I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND.
- WELL,

CLEARLY YOU REALIZE
IF WORD OF THIS GETS OUT, WE'LL
HAVE TO RECALL OUR ENTIRE LINE.

WE'RE IN PEOPLE'S HOMES, SIR,
WITH THEIR CHILDREN.

IF IT IS DOING WHAT YOU SAY,
IT CAN ALSO RUN AMOK.

ONE IS NOT QUALIFIED
TO RUN "MUCKS."

ALL RIGHT, SIR.
IF I LET YOU HAVE ANDREW,

YOU'LL WHAT--
YOU'LL DISASSEMBLE HIM,
WILL YOU ?

CAREFULLY, YES.

WE WOULD NEED
TO TRACE THE ACTUAL COURSE
OF ANDREW'S NEURAL PATHWAYS,

REPLACE THE POSITRONIC BRAIN,
THEN PUT IT--

HIM-- BACK TOGETHER
AND RETURN HIM TO YOU,
GOOD AS NEW.

NOW, THESE NEURAL PATHWAYS
ARE PRESUMABLY FRAGILE.

ISN'T IT POSSIBLE, IN THE COURSE
OF THESE PROCEDURES,
THAT SOMETHING MIGHT GO WRONG ?

WE WOULD MAKE
EVERY CONCEIVABLE EFFORT.

AND, IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT
THAT SOMETHING DID GO WRONG,

YOU'D, OF COURSE,
REPLACE ANDREW.

OF COURSE.

EVEN THOUGH HE'S UNIQUE
AND IRREPLACEABLE.

[ Sighs ]

HE-- HIS--
YOU S--

WELL, IT'S A NATURAL ERROR--
IT HAS HUMAN FORM,

THEREFORE YOU READ MECHANICAL
FAILURE AS ECCENTRICITY...

AND ANTHROPOMORPHIZE IT.

IT IS A HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE,

AND YET YOU ACT
LIKE IT IS A MAN.

WE'RE LEAVING.
COME ON, ANDREW.

PLEASE, I BEG YOU
TO RECONSIDER, MR. MARTIN.

LET US EXAMINE ANDREW,
TALK TO YOUR WIFE.
NAME YOUR PRICE !

NOW, LISTEN TO ME. THERE IS
NO PRICE FOR INDIVIDUALITY.

HE IS,
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE,
MY ROBOT,

AND YOU WILL NEVER
LAY YOUR HANDS ON HIM--
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

ALL IN GOOD TIME. YOU SEE,
SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL HAVE TO
BRING IT IN FOR REPAIRS.

ANDREW,
I'VE MADE A DECISION.
YES, SIR ?

YOU WILL CUT BACK
ON YOUR WORKLOAD.
YOU CAN NO LONGER...

DEVOTE YOURSELF ENTIRELY
TO CHILDREN AND HOUSEWORK.

BUT ONE LIKES THE CHILDREN, SIR,
SPECIFICALLY THE SMALLER ONE,
LITTLE MISS.

THAT IS A CONTRADICTION, ANDREW,
AND THAT IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF
THING YOU NEED TO LEARN ABOUT.

THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING
NORTHAM ROBOTICS.

SO WE NEED A NEW REGIMEN.
REGIMEN, SIR ?

FIRST OF ALL, YOU'LL SPEND PART
OF EACH DAY MAKING SOMETHING.

SO AS NOT TO OFFEND HUMANS,
WE'D BETTER FIND SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT OVERLY ARTISTIC.

COULD YOU MAKE OTHER THINGS ?
I COULD TEACH YOU
MY LINE OF WORK--

YOU KNOW,
TIMEPIECES AND CLOCKS
AND SO ON.

ONE COULD NOT TELL YOU, SIR.
ONE HAS NEVER ATTEMPTED
SUCH THINGS.

WELL, YOU WILL NOW.

ALSO, YOU'LL SPEND PART
OF EACH EVENING
IN INSTRUCTION WITH ME.

AND WHAT IS THE PURPOSE
OF THIS INSTRUCTION ?
TO TEACH YOU, ANDREW--

TO TEACH YOU ALL THE THINGS
THAT HAVEN'T BEEN
PROGRAMMED INTO YOU.

ANDREW, YOU'RE UNIQUE.

UNIQUE ?
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING
NORTHAM ROBOTICS.

AND I FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY
TO HELP YOU...

BECOME WHATEVER
YOU'RE ABLE TO BE.

AND WHAT IS ONE
ABLE TO BE ?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

SEE, PEOPLE GROW
THROUGH TIME.

BUT THEN, OF COURSE, FOR YOU,
TIME IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
PROPOSITION.

FOR YOU,
TIME IS ENDLESS.
ENDLESS ?

[ Chuckles ]

IS THIS
A GOOD PIECE ?
VERY.

[ Gulls Cawing ]

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE ?
EXCELLENT.

[ Tapping ]

* IT WAS
A LUCKY APRIL SHOWER *

* IT WAS
THE MOST CONVENIENT DOOR *

* I FOUND
A MILLION-DOLLAR BABY *

* IN A FIVE AND TEN CENT
STORE **

** [ Continues ]

[ Richard ]
AND, NINE MONTHS LATER,
A BABY IS BORN.

AND THOSE, ANDREW,
ARE THE SO-CALLED FACTS OF LIFE.

PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THIS,
SIR ?

WELL, YES.
AND MARRIED PEOPLE--

ONE SUPPOSES THEY SEE IT
AS SOME KIND OF REQUIREMENT
OR OBLIGATION.

WELL, IT--
[ Clears Throat ]

IT'S NOT EXACTLY
AN OBLIGATION, ANDREW.
THAT'S A RELIEF.

AND IT IS THE NATURAL
AND PREFERABLE WAY
TO CONCEIVE CHILDREN.

SIR, OF ALL THESE MILLIONS
OF SPERM, ONLY ONE MAKES IT ?

- THAT'S TRUE.
- WHAT HAPPENS TO THE OTHERS ?

WELL, THEY DIE.

THEY DIE ?

ONE FEELS BADLY FOR THEM.

WELL, ONE DOES.

- BUT IT'S COMPLETELY AGREED
THAT IT FEELS GOOD--
- FOR BOTH PARTIES, SIR ?

IN AN IDEAL WORLD.

- SO PEOPLE DO IT
RATHER FREQUENTLY.
- HOW OFTEN, SIR ?

- WELL, AS OFTEN AS THEY CAN,
MATTER OF FACT.
- AHH.

AT LEAST AT FIRST.

SIR,

MAY ONE SPEAK FRANKLY
WITH YOU ?
AS ALWAYS, ANDREW.

IT'S JUST
THAT THE WHOLE PROCESS--

IT SOUNDS SO MESSY.

I THINK
THAT'S A FAIR COMMENT.

THEY DIE.

[ Richard Speaking,
Indistinct ]

[ Talking, Laughing
Continue ]

ISN'T IT ?
[ Giggling ]
WHAT ?

- [ Richard ]
IT'S CALLED "HUMOR."
- "HUMOR" ?

YES. PEOPLE TELL JOKES
TO MAKE EACH OTHER LAUGH.

AND THIS LAUGHTER GIVES
PLEASURE, SIR ?

YES.

SIR, COULD YOU TEACH ONE
TO TELL A JOKE ?

WELL, L-LET'S SEE.
UM-- TWO DRUNKS WALK
INTO A BAR.

WOULDN'T TWO DRUNKS WALK
OUT OF A BAR, SIR ?

YOU WALK INTO A BAR TO DRINK,
AND YOU COME OUT DRUNK.

LET'S TRY SOMETHING SIMPLER,
ANDREW. UM--
[ Clears Throat ]

- KNOCK-KNOCK.
- "KNOCK-KNOCK" ?

NO, KNOCK-KNOCK,
SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR.

- SHALL ONE GET IT, SIR ?
- NO, NO. NO.

Y-YOU SAY, "WHO'S THERE,"
ANDREW.

- WHO'S THERE, ANDREW ?
- NO, JUST "WHO'S THERE ?"

ONE DOES NOT KNOW, SIR.

LET'S START WITH SOMETHING
A LITTLE SIMPLER, ANDREW.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN
CROSS THE ROAD ?

ONE DOES NOT KNOW, SIR.
POSSIBLY A PREDATOR WAS
BEHIND THE CHICKEN.

OR, POSSIBLY, THERE WAS
A FEMALE CHICKEN ON THE OTHER
SIDE, IF IT'S A MALE CHICKEN.

OR POSSIBLY A FOOD SOURCE
OR, DEPENDING ON THE SEASON,
IT MIGHT BE MIGRATING.

ONE HOPES THERE'S NO TRAFFIC.

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.

"TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE."

OHHH.

WHY IS THAT FUNNY ?

SO, WHAT DO YOU KIDS HAVE
PLANNED FOR THE DAY ?
PROBABLY STICK WITH ANDREW.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MISS ?
I'M GONNA GO PLAY
AT MY FRIEND NATALIE'S HOUSE.

OH.

MAY ONE, SIR ?
IS NOW A GOOD TIME ?

WHAT ?
A GOOD TIME FOR WHAT ?

LAST NIGHT, SIR TAUGHT ONE--
NO, NO, NO. DON-DON'T BLAME ME,
ANDREW. JUST GO AHEAD.

THANK YOU, SIR.
TWO CANNIBALS WERE
EATING A CLOWN.

ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS,
"DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU ?"

HOW DO YOU MAKE A HANKY DANCE ?
PUT A LITTLE BOOGIE IN IT.

WHAT IS A BRUNETTE
BETWEEN TWO BLONDES ?
TRANSLATOR.

DO YOU KNOW WHY BLIND PEOPLE
DON'T LIKE TO SKYDIVE ?
IT SCARES THEIR DOGS.

A MAN WITH DEMENTIA IS DRIVING
ON THE FREEWAY. HIS WIFE CALLS
AND SAYS, "SWEETHEART,

I HEARD THERE'S SOMEONE DRIVING
THE WRONG WAY ON THE FREEWAY."

HE SAYS,
"ONE ? THERE'S HUNDREDS !"

WHAT'S SILENT,
SMELLS LIKE WORMS ?
BIRD FARTS.

- [ Laughing ]
- IT MUST HAVE BEEN AN ENGINEER
WHO DESIGNED THE HUMAN BODY.

WHO ELSE WOULD PUT
A WASTE PROCESSING PLANT
NEXT TO A RECREATION AREA ?

A WOMAN GOES INTO A DOCTOR'S
OFFICE. THE DOCTOR SAYS,
"MIND IF I NUMB YOUR BREASTS ?"

- "NOT AT ALL."
"NUM-NUM-NUM-NUM-NUM."
- [ All Laughing ]

[ Clears Throat ]
ONE DID IT, SIR.

ANDREW, IT WAS FINE, BUT
WE MIGHT WANT TO TALK ABOUT...

APPROPRIATENESS
AND, UM-- AND TIMING.

- IT'S 10:15, SIR.
- [ Laughing ]

** [ Humming Along ]

- OH, ANDREW.
- LITTLE MISS.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TEACH YOU
HOW TO PLAY A DUET ?

CERTAINLY.
COME ON.

OKAY, READY ?
YOU START HERE,
AND THEN JUST FOLLOW ME.

I PLAY FIRST, OKAY ?
ALL RIGHT.

READY ?

YOUR TURN.

** [ Humming Along ]

GOOD. VERY GOOD.
NOW TOGETHER.

** [ Humming Along ]

** [ Ends ]

THAT WAS WONDERFUL.
THANKS.

THANK YOU, LITTLE MISS.

** [ Plays Ragtime ]

HI, MOM.

GRACE, IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU
TO FIND SOMEWHERE MORE PRIVATE
TO DO THAT ?

[ Sighs ]
NO PROBLEM.

JUST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT DISC
AND WE'LL GET A HOTEL ROOM.

- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME ?
- LET'S GO.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME,
YOUNG LADY ?

YOU GET OFF THAT BIKE
THIS MINUTE,
AND YOU ARE GROUNDED !

GET-- GO ON ! GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU PIECE OF SCUM !
[ Laughing ]

[ Loud Ticking ]

RICHARD ?

DOES THIS LOOK RIGHT ?
HI, MOM.

DIDN'T YOU TALK TO HER
ABOUT THAT BOY ?
MMM, WELL, NOT YET.

OH.
BUT I WILL.
[ Clears Throat ]

KIND OF HOPING
IT'S A PHASE THAT'LL PASS,

LIKE THE OTHERS.
[ Clocks Chiming Loudly ]

[ Chiming Continues ]

[ Chiming Ends ]

I AM SO SICK
OF THESE DAMN CLOCKS.

I'VE ALREADY GIVEN
HALF THEM AWAY.

- PERHAPS WE SHOULD SELL THEM.
- SELL THEM ?

WELL, IT'S AN IDEA.

WELL, WHO GETS THE MONEY ?

WELL, I IMAGINE WE WILL.

BUT ANDREW DOES
ALL THE WORK.

YES, BUT ANDREW'S OUR--
THEN ANDREW SHOULD
GET THE MONEY.

ANDREW IS A ROBOT.

WHAT CONCEIVABLE USE
WOULD A ROBOT HAVE FOR MONEY ?

ROBOTS DON'T GO SHOPPING.
ROBOTS DON'T GO ON VACATIONS.

ROBOTS DON'T EAT DINNERS
IN FANCY RESTAURANTS.

[ Scoffs ]
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE
HAVING THIS DISCUSSION.

DAD, IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT HE IS.

ANDREW DESERVES TO BENEFIT
FROM THE WORK HE DOES.

SWEETHEART,

I WILL DO WHAT'S RIGHT
FOR ANDREW.

OF COURSE I WILL.

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A MACHINE,

AND YOU CAN'T INVEST
YOUR EMOTIONS IN A MACHINE.

RIGHT ?

[ Woman ]
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ?
NO, THANK YOU.

THERE YOU ARE.
HOW ARE YA ?
BILL, GOOD MORNING.

THIS MUST BE ANDREW.
ANDREW, BILL FEINGOLD,
FAMILY LAWYER.

ANDREW.
YOU OWN ONE OF MY CLOCKS.

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
DO YOU ENJOY IT ?

UH, YES, I DO,
VERY MUCH.

- I LIKE THE NEW OFFICE, BILL.
WHAT FLOOR ARE WE ON HERE ?
- THIRTY-SEVEN.

HMM.

ANDREW, COME
AND HAVE A LOOK AT THIS.

NO, THANK YOU, SIR.

- YOU SURE ?
- NO.

HOW CAN I HELP YOU ?

AS YOU KNOW, ANDREW'S EARNED
A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY
FROM HIS ENDEAVORS,

AND WHAT HE REALLY WANTS TO DO
IS OPEN HIS OWN BANK ACCOUNT.

A BANK ACCOUNT
IN THE NAME OF A ROBOT ?
MMM. WOULD THAT BE LEGAL ?

I COULDN'T SAY.
THERE ARE NO PRECEDENTS.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S A LAW
AGAINST IT, BUT, UH--

RICHARD, WHY-- WHY DO YOU WANT
TO GIVE HIM A BANK ACCOUNT ?

WHAT'S HE NEED MONEY FOR ?

TO PAY FOR THINGS,
OF COURSE, WHICH OTHERWISE
SIR WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR.

ONE WOULD LIKE
TO PULL ONE'S OWN.

- WEIGHT.
- FOR WHAT, SIR ?

- ANDREW.
- YES, LITTLE MISS ?

[ Gasps ]
OOH ! OH.

OH.
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
OH.

NOT TO WORRY.
IT CAN BE REPAIRED.

WOW.

OH-- LEFT.

ANDREW, REMEMBER FRANK,
MY BOYFRIEND ?

YES, THE ONE YOUR SISTER SAYS
HAS A NICE ASS.

[ Laughing ]
OH.

LAST NIGHT--

LAST NIGHT HE ASKED ME
TO MARRY HIM.

ONE GATHERS
THAT IS A GOOD THING.

WELL, I HAVEN'T SAID
"YES" YET.
SO THERE IS DOUBT.

NO.
FRANK IS WONDERFUL.

HE'S HANDSOME.
HE'S RELIABLE.

HE'S SOMEBODY I COULD SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH.
I COULD HAVE CHILDREN WITH HIM.

THEN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM ?

BOARD ?
NO, NOT AT ALL.

NOT HIM-- THERE.
OH.

WELL, I HAVE THIS FRIEND...

THAT'S VERY SPECIAL TO ME.

HE'S JUST SO SWEET AND FUNNY,

AND WHENEVER I'M WITH HIM...
I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH FRANK.

ONE CAN SEE THAT WOULD
CREATE A COMPLICATION.

YES.

BUT THE ANSWER'S
STARING YOU IN THE FACE.

MARRY YOUR FRIEND.

[ Laughs ]
WHAT ?

WELL, HE'S NOT--

I MEAN, H-HE--

A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN US
WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE, REALLY.
IT COULD NEVER WORK OUT.

WHY ?
WELL, BECAUSE HE'S NOT--

BECAUSE HE-HE'LL NEVER BE--

YES ?

[ Sighs ]

IS SOMETHING WRONG ?

NO.

NOTHING'S WRONG,
NOTHING AT ALL.

THANK YOU
FOR LISTENING TO ME.

ONE IS GLAD
TO BE OF SERVICE.

LITTLE MISS,

WHAT WILL YOU DO
ABOUT FRANK ?

ACCEPT HIS PROPOSAL.

REALLY ?

HUMANS.

ANDREW,
YES ?

IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
IF YOU WOULD BE AN USHER
AT MY WEDDING.

ONE IS UNFAMILIAR
WITH THIS TERM.
HOW DOES ONE "USH" ?

YOU HELP PEOPLE
TO THEIR SEATS.
YOU WEAR A TUXEDO.

- ONE WOULD WEAR CLOTHING ?
- YES.

ONE HAS NEVER BEEN ASKED
TO WEAR CLOTHING.

IT WOULD BE AN HONOR.
GREAT.

[ Board Clatters To Floor ]

- ONE STILL IS ALL THUMBS.
- [ Giggling ]

INSTALLED WHAT ?

UM, AN ALARM.

IF YOU TRY
TO ENTER ANDREW'S BRAIN
WHILE YOU'RE MAKING THIS REPAIR,

THE POLICE WILL BE ALERTED.

ALSO, YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY KNOW THAT--
[ Clears Throat ]

IF YOU ACTUALLY INJURE
ANDREW'S BRAIN OR POSITRONIC
PATHWAYS IN ANY WAY,

MY LAWYER,
THE GOOD MR. FEINGOLD,
WILL BE HAPPY TO SUE YOU.

HE WILL SUE YOU
FOR THE LOST VALUE OF ANDREW'S
INCOME UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

WELL, I THINK
WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER.

GOOD.
[ Clears Throat ]

SIR, ONE MORE ITEM OF BUSINESS.

AS LONG IS ONE IS IN THE SHOP,
CAN YOU DO WORK ON ONE'S FACE ?

ONE WISHES TO HAVE
MORE EXPRESSION.

ONE HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
THAT PRESENTLY DO NOT SHOW.

YOU WANT YOUR THOUGHTS AND
FEELINGS TO SHOW ON YOUR FACE ?

YES, LIKE THE CONTEMPT
THAT YOU ARE SHOWING ME
RIGHT NOW.

WELL, WE HAVE DONE
SOME EXPERIMENTATION.

WE ARE ABLE TO GIVE ROBOTS
SUPERFICIAL RESPONSES...

WHICH MIMIC HUMAN EXPRESSION.

ONE HAS READ THAT THERE HAVE
BEEN NDR UPGRADES.
YES, YES.

WE'VE WORKED UP
A DOZEN EXPERIMENTAL MODELS
WITH EXPRESSION CAPABILITIES,

SLEEKER BODY TYPES.

WE RAN SOME MARKET SURVEYS
AND DECIDED NOT TO
GO AHEAD WITH THE LINE.

WHY NOT ?
NEGATIVE CONSUMER REACTION.

THERE'S A GROWING FEAR THAT
ROBOTS WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE...

THE HUMAN WORK FORCE OBSOLETE.

[ Clears Throat ]
ANDREW HAS WORKED FOR ME
FOR OVER 15 YEARS.

THERE'S NO DANGER OF ANYONE
LOSING THEIR JOB TO HIM.

SURELY THERE'S NO CONCERN
PERFORMING THESE MODIFICATIONS
ON AN OLD-STYLE ROBOT.

TRUE.

BUT PROCEDURES LIKE THAT WOULD
BE PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE.

IT IS UNDERSTOOD
THAT YOU WILL ATTEMPT
TO RIVET ONE.

SCREW, ANDREW.
REALLY ?
HOW MUCH ?

THAT IS ROUGHLY
ONE'S MONTHLY SALARY.

IT'S MORE THAN I MAKE
IN A YEAR.

HMM, NOT BAD FOR--

WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM
LAST TIME WE WERE HERE ?
HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE.

- HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE ?
- HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE, YES.

[ Minister ]
MAY THE PEACE OF THE LORD
BE WITH YOU ALWAYS.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
HUSBAND AND WIFE.

YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE NOW.

[ Congregation Murmuring ]

IT IS MY PLEASURE TO PRESENT
MR. AND MRS. FRANK CHARNEY.

WHAT ?
[ Grunts ]

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

MAGNIFICENT NIGHT.

YOU LOOK VERY SHARP
THIS EVENING, ANDREW.

THANK YOU, SIR.

IT WAS QUITE CHALLENGING
FOR THE TAILOR.
[ Chuckles ]

MAY ONE CONTINUE
WEARING CLOTHING ?

IF IT SUITS YOU.
ARE YOU SERIOUS ?

AS ALWAYS.

WELL, I SUPPOSE SO.

WE'LL HAVE TO FIND YOU SOME
OTHER STUFF, THOUGH. YOU CAN'T
WEAR TAILS ALL THE TIME.

REALLY ?
HOW SAD.

SIT DOWN, ANDREW, PLEASE.
THANK YOU, SIR.

- IT WAS A WONDERFUL WEDDING,
WASN'T IT ?
- OH, YES, SIR.

AND, IF ONE MAY SAY,
YOU ARE A SPECTACULAR DANCER.

- WELL, THAT'S VERY KIND.
- NOT AT ALL, SIR.
IT'S THE TRUTH.

DID YOU RECORD THE DAY ?

EVERY SECOND, SIR,
IS IN ONE'S MEMORY BANK.

WELL, LET'S WATCH IT,
SHALL WE ?

SIR ?

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT ?

UM--
[ Clears Throat ]

THEY'VE BOTH GONE NOW,
ANDREW.

WELL, THINGS CHANGE.
THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE.

PEOPLE MOVE ON.
IT'S AS IT SHOULD BE.

BUT, UH,

WHAT I REALIZED TODAY IS
THAT, UH,

I'LL NEVER STOP MISSING THEM.

SIR ?

ONE IS STILL HERE.

AND ONE IS GLAD OF THAT,
ANDREW. THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, SIR.
GOOD NIGHT, ANDREW.

[ Laughing, Chattering ]

LLOYD ! COME HERE.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT THROWING SAND AT PEOPLE ?
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ?

NOW APOLOGIZE TO ANDREW.

I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE TO IT.

HIM.
IT.

LLOYD.
SORRY.

ONE UNDERSTANDS WHY
SOME ANIMALS EAT THEIR YOUNG.

I'M SO SORRY, ANDREW.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?
YOU SEEM VERY QUIET.

HOW DOES ONE
OBTAIN FREEDOM ?

- Y-YOU WISH TO LEAVE US ?
- NOT AT ALL, LITTLE MISS.

ONE MERELY WISHES
TO BE DECLARED FREE.

BUT WHY ? YOU HAVE
SO MUCH FREEDOM HERE.

UNTIL ONE IS ORDERED
TO DO SOMETHING.

ANDREW, IT'S BEEN YEARS
SINCE ANYONE'S GIVEN YOU
AN ORDER.

BUT YOU MAY STILL REQUEST ONE
TO PERFORM TASKS.

WELL, WE ASK ALL THE TIME,
BUT IT'S A REQUEST,
NOT AN ORDER.

BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH
FOR YOU, IS IT ?

ONE HAS STUDIED YOUR HISTORY.

TERRIBLE WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT
WHERE MILLIONS HAVE DIED...

FOR ONE IDEA:

FREEDOM.

AND IT SEEMS THAT SOMETHING
THAT MEANS SO MUCH
TO SO MANY PEOPLE...

WOULD BE WORTH HAVING.

SIR, WOULD NOW BE A GOOD TIME
TO SPEAK WITH YOU ?

IT'S ALWAYS A GOOD TIME,
ANDREW. YOU KNOW THAT.

IT IS EVERYTHING
IN ONE'S BANK ACCOUNT.

[ Laughing ]
WHY WOULD YOU
WANT TO GIVE ME--

TO PURCHASE ONE'S FREEDOM.

ONE WANTS TO BE FREE.

ONE WOULD, OF COURSE,
STILL OBEY THE THREE LAWS...

AND SERVE YOU
IN EXACTLY THE SAME FASHION.

THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD CHANGE
WOULD BE THE FORM.

ONE WOULD NO LONGER BE
YOUR PROPERTY.

YOU WANT TO LEAVE.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT,
ISN'T IT ?

NOT AT ALL, SIR.
YOU ARE ONE'S FAMILY.

THEN WHY ASK FOR THIS ?

OH, I SEE.
YOU'RE IN ON THIS.

WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT, YES.

SO YOU ORDERED HIM TO DO IT,
AND HE OBEYED.

NO. HE MAKES
HIS OWN DECISIONS.

- BUT YOU PUT THE IDEA
IN HIS HEAD.
- NO, FATHER, YOU DID.

YOU'VE GIVEN HIM HUNDREDS
OF BOOKS TO READ.

IT WAS SIMPLY A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE HE BECAME INTRIGUED
BY THE IDEA OF FREEDOM.

HE LEARNS AND GROWS
ALL THE TIME,

AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU
AND ANDREW'S ABILITIES...

THAT HE'S BECOME EVERY BIT
AS COMPLEX AS WE ARE.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

YOU TAKE YOUR CHECK BACK,
PLEASE, ANDREW.
WHY, SIR ?

YOU ARE FREE NOW.

I MUST ASK YOU
TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE.

BUT SIR,
I DON'T WISH TO LEAVE.

YOU WISHED FOR FREEDOM,
YOU MUST ACCEPT
THE CONSEQUENCES.

THEN I WILL REMOVE
MY BELONGINGS.
YES.

WHERE WILL YOU GO ?

I WILL LOOK FOR
A RESIDENCE NEARBY...

SO THAT IF YOU EVER
NEED ANYTHING, SIR--

THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN,
ANDREW, THANK YOU.

THERE'S NO NEED
TO BE CLOSE BY.

- IF YOU COMMAND ME
NOT TO DO THIS, I WILL OBEY.
- I COMMAND NOTHING.

YOU'RE FREE.

THEN-- CALLED OR UNCALLED--
I AM ALWAYS AT YOUR SERVICE.

ANDREW,

YOU'VE STOPPED REFERRING
TO YOURSELF AS "ONE."

A HOME OF MY OWN.

[ Knocking ]

ANDREW ?

ANDREW ?
I'M IN HERE.

LITTLE MISS.

IS SOMETHING WRONG ?

HE ASKED FOR YOU.

IT'S TIME.

- THE ROBOT'S HERE.
- ANDREW.

HELLO, MISS.
ANDREW.

SIR.

- HOW ARE YOU, SIR ?
- WELL, I'M DYING, ANDREW.

OTHERWISE I'M FINE.

WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

I'M VERY HAPPY
TO SEE YOU, ANDREW.
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

YES, IT HAS, SIR.

I WANTED TO--

I WANTED TO TELL YOU...
THAT I WAS WRONG.

YOU'RE NEVER WRONG, SIR.

THEN DON'T CONTRADICT ME.

YOU WERE RIGHT
TO WANT YOUR FREEDOM,

AND I'M GLAD
THAT YOU HAVE IT.

THANK YOU, SIR.

ANDREW,

YOU WERE VERY GOOD TO US.

IT WAS AN HONOR
SERVING YOU, SIR.

I WANT TO SEEK OUT
MY OWN KIND.

IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND
MY DESTINY,

I MUST KNOW IF THERE IS
ANOTHER LIKE MYSELF.

NORTHAM ROBOTICS WILL NOT
RETURN MY INQUIRIES,

AND NOW THAT YOU HAVE
FINALLY PASSED THE BAR, LLOYD,

I WANT YOU TO SUE THEM FOR
INFORMATION OF THE WHEREABOUTS
OF ALL NDR SERIES ROBOTS,

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT
DOESN'T QUITE COVER SUITS
BY ROBOTS.

- NOT YET.
- MOTHER, I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.

I DO NOT HAVE TIME
TO HELP...

IT PURSUE
SOME RIDICULOUS LAWSUIT.

LLOYD, SWEETHEART,
I DO LOVE YOU,

BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE TO WONDER
IF YOU REALLY ARE MY CHILD.

WELL, THAT'S MUTATION,
MOTHER.

THE MIRACLE OF GENETICS IS
I'M NOT YOU.

NO, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN
MORE LIKE YOUR FATHER.

SO THAT' WHY
YOU DIVORCED HIM.

SORRY.

ANDREW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I GOT THE INFORMATION
ON THESE OTHER NDRs ?

I WOULD SEEK THEM OUT,
EACH AND EVERY ONE.

SO YOU'D BE GONE
FOR QUITE A LONG TIME.

OH, YES.
SEVERAL YEARS IF NOT MORE,

IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE
CORRECT.

I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU.

DID HE NOT BREAST-FEED ?

[ Andrew ]
"DEAR LITTLE MISS,

"MY JOURNEY IS NEARING THE END
OF ITS TENTH YEAR,

"AND I STILL HAVE NOT FOUND
ANY ROBOT THAT BEARS
ANY SIMILARITY TO MYSELF.

"I HAVE
THOUSANDS OF MILES TO GO,
HUNDREDS OF CITIES TO VISIT,

"SO I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP HOPE.

LOVE, ANDREW."

HELLO.
MY LAST NAME IS MARTIN.

HEY, GET OFF THE FIELD.

[ Mooing ]

"DEAR LITTLE MISS,
MY JOURNEY IS NEARING ITS END.

"I HAVE EXHAUSTED
ALL POSSIBILITIES
SAVE FOR ONE FINAL RAY OF HOPE.

I'VE LEARNED OF AN NDR ROBOT
THAT HAS RECENTLY BEEN REBUILT
BACK HOME IN SAN FRANCISCO."

[ Crowd Chattering ]

[ Woman ]
TAKE AS MANY AS YOU NEED.

OH, THEN YOU SHOULD LOVE THEM.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

TAKE AS MANY AS YOU NEED.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME.

** [ "Respect"
By Aretha Franklin ]

**

* WHOO
* WHAT YOU WANT
BABY, I GOT IT *

* WHOO, WHOO
* WHAT YOU NEED
DO YOU KNOW I GOT IT *

* WHOO, WHOO
* ALL I'M ASKIN'

* IS FOR A LITTLE RESPECT
WHEN YOU COME HOME *
* JUST A LITTLE BIT

* HEY, BABY
WHEN YOU GET HOME *
* JUST A LITTLE BIT

* JUST A LITTLE BIT
JUST A LITTLE BIT *
* MISTER

* I AIN'T GONNA DO YOU WRONG
WHILE YOU'RE GONE *

* AIN'T GONNA DO YOU WRONG
IF I DON'T WANNA *
* WHOO

* WHOO, WHOO
* ALL I'M ASKIN'

* IS FOR A LITTLE RESPECT
WHEN YA COME HOME *
* JUST A LITTLE BIT

* BABY, WHEN YOU GET HOME
* JUST A LITTLE BIT

* JUST A LITTLE BIT
JUST A LITTLE BIT *
* YEAH *

[ Buzzing ]

HI.

IS THIS YOURS ?
OH.
[ Giggles ]

THANK YOU.

I'M LOOKING FOR RUPERT BURNS.

OH, YOU'VE COME
TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

COME IN.
CERTAINLY HAVE.

HUH.

DO YOU HAVE A NAME ?
OF COURSE I DO.

GALATEA.

GALATEA.

YOU HAVE AN AMAZING...
AGILITY.

YOU WERE DANCING
IN THE MARKET.

DID YOU LIKE THAT ?
VERY MUCH.

DANCING IS
THE SPORTIEST SPORT,

AND WE'RE SO MUCH BETTER
AT IT THAN HUMANS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I FINALLY FOUND YOU.

WHEN DID YOU KNOW ?

KNOW WHAT ?
THAT YOU WERE UNIQUE.

OH, I KNEW THAT RIGHT AWAY.

ME TOO.

YOU AND I--

WE'RE THE SAME.

WE HAVE PERSONALITY !

IS YOUR PERSONALITY CHIP
TURNED ON ?

ISN'T YOURS ?
NO.

SUCKS TO BE YOU !

I THINK PERSONALITY IS
MUCH MORE FUN THAN INTELLIGENCE,
DON'T YOU ?

- [ Aretha Franklin ]
* BABY, BABY, SWEET BABY
- I THINK SO.

* THERE'S SOMETHIN'
THAT I'VE JUST GOT TO SAY **

CAN I HELP YOU ?

YOUR ROBOT IS JUST
A STANDARD NDR, ISN'T SHE ?

YEAH, I'M AFRAID SO.

WHY DOES SHE HAVE
THE ABILITY TO DANCE ?

'CAUSE I, UH--

I PUT A MODIFIED SKELETAL CHIP
INTO HER DURING A REBUILD.

HOW WERE YOU ABLE
TO DO THAT MODIFICATION ?
MY FATHER TAUGHT ME.

HE CREATED THE ANDROID UNIT
AT NORTHAM ROBOTICS.

HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR
THE TECHNOLOGY THAT ALLOWS YOU
TO MIMIC HUMAN EXPRESSION.

- WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ?
- WELL, NORTHAM LAID HIM OFF
WHEN THEY SHUT DOWN THE UNIT,

SO HE STARTED THIS PLACE,
AND I TOOK OVER WHEN HE DIED.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
HE WOULD HAVE BEEN
ABSOLUTELY THRILLED TO MEET YOU.

I-I-I'M RUPERT BURNS.

IT'S A REAL HONOR.
THE HONOR IS MINE.

** [ Continuing ]
HEY ! YOU AND I--
WE'RE THE SAME !

LET'S GET LOCO, ROBO !
[ Metallic Clink ]

WHOO-HOO !

- SHUT HER OFF OR I WILL.
- OH.

OKAY.

** [ Stops ]

THANK YOU.

[ Andrew ]
IS THIS YOUR FATHER'S WORK ?

YEAH-- WELL, IT'S--
IT'S OUR WORK,
YOU COULD SAY.

I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN ABLE
TO RESTRAIN MYSELF
FROM CONTINUING...

TO TINKER WITH
THE RELENTLESSLY UNFASHIONABLE
ANDROID TECHNOLOGY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'VE
ACTUALLY GOTTEN TO A POINT...

WHERE I CAN PRETTY MUCH
EXACTLY REPLICATE THE EXTERNAL
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE...

OF A HUMAN BEING.

- REMARKABLE.
- THANK YOU.

- AMAZING !
- YEAH.

UNFORTUNATELY, NOBODY SEEMS
TERRIBLY INTERESTED
IN FUNDING MY RESEARCH.

- BUT--
- I AM.

I WILL FUND YOUR RESEARCH.

YEAH ?

THAT'D BE COOL.

THANK YOU, DARLIN'. OKAY.
ANDREW, I WANT TO MAKE IT
VERY CLEAR:

THIS IS AN EXTERNAL PHYSICAL
UPGRADE ONLY IN THE STRICTEST
SENSE OF THE WORD.

YOU'LL FEEL NOTHING.
NONE OF YOUR INTERNAL MECHANISMS
WILL BE CHANGED.

YOU'LL STILL BE SUBJECT
TO THE PARAMETERS
OF YOUR POSITRONIC BRAIN.

IS THAT CLEAR ?
UNDERSTOOD.

OKAY, GOOD. NOW,

HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT
WHATSOEVER AS TO WHAT AGE
YOU'D LIKE TO BE ?

OFFICIALLY,
I AM 62 YEARS OLD.

LET'S TAKE OFF 25 YEARS.
WHAT DO YA SAY ?
FIFTEEN.

TWENTY. GOOD.
PERFECT.

NOW, ANDREW,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THE SECRET
TO ALL THIS IS ACTUALLY...

IMPERFECTION.
IMPERFECTION ?

YEAH. THINGS LIKE...

WRINKLES, UH,
LESS-THAN-PERFECT TEETH,

DETAILS LIKE FADING SCARS,
LITTLE POCKMARK--

LOOK AT MY NOSE.
SEE MY NOSE ?

IT'S BULBOUS AND
SLIGHTLY IRREGULAR ?
IT IS.

WELL, I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S GOT MY NOSE, AND
THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME, ME.

WE NEED TO INCORPORATE
THESE FEATURES
INTO YOUR DESIGN...

SO THAT YOU CAN BE
THE ONLY ONE OF YOU.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE,
IS THOSE IMPERFECTIONS.

I SEE.
LIKE THE SHAPE OF YOUR HEAD.

- WHAT ABOUT
THE SHAPE OF MY HEAD ?
- IT'S HUGE.

OH.

BUT LOVELY.

THANK YOU.

OH.

AH. OH.

- [ Screams ]
- [ Screams ]

- WHAT HAPPENED ?
WHAT'S GOING ON ?
- [ Screams ]

WHAT HAPPENED ?

I SAW THE INNER ME.

[ Whirring ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Sighing ]

- IS IT READY ?
- OKAY.

PLEASE, BE CAREFUL.
DON'T DROP ME.

I'M BEING CAREFUL.
OH, MY GOD !
[ Gasps ]

JUST RELAX,
RELAX, RELAX.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT ?
THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY.

JUST KEEPIN' YA
ON YOUR TOES.

I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES.
YOU DO NOW.

I DO.
AND HANDS.

AND FINGERS.
HOW DO I LOOK ?

SEE FOR YOURSELF.

THANK YOU.

** [ Piano ]

BEAUTIFUL.
[ Gasps, Screams ]

SORRY.
WHO ARE YOU ?

ANDREW.

ANDREW ?

YOU LOOK WONDERFUL,
EVEN YOUNGER.

HOW DO YOU DO THAT ?
DO-DO I KNOW YOU ?

WELL, I KNOW
I LOOK DIFFERENT TOO.

I'VE HAD AN UPGRADE.
TOUCH IT.
WHAT ?

- NO, OH, NO ! NO.
- SORRY, THE FACE.

WHAT'S GOING ON ?

YOU LEAVE HER ALONE !

WHO ARE YOU ?
ANDREW.

NO. ANDREW ?

YES.
BUT ANDREW'S A ROBOT.

- YES, I AM.
WELL, NOW, AN ANDROID.
- HE'S HAD AN UPGRADE.

I KNOW THAT.
[ Eyelids Squeaking ]

OH !
HELLO.

[ Gasps ]
HELLO ! IT IS YOU.

YOU KNOW HIM ?
YES.

YOU KNOW ME ?
YES.

WHO ARE YOU ? NO ?
I'M LITTLE MISS. YES.

THAT'S LITTLE MISS.
NO.

NO ? NO ?
NO.

NO, THAT'S PORTIA.
PORTIA ?
YES.

PORTIA ?
YES.

WHO'S PORTIA ?
MY GRANDDAUGHTER.

YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER ?
YES.
YES.

IS THIS SOME KIND
OF TRICK ?
NO.

YOU'RE LITTLE MISS ?
YES.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK
LIKE HER ?

THERE IS AND CAN BE
ONLY ONE LITTLE MISS.
REALLY ?

YES !
IT'S A GENETIC RESEMBLANCE.
SOMETIMES IT SKIPS A GENERATION.

I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T LIKE IT.
I CAN SEE THAT.

BUT IF YOU TOOK A MOMENT,
WHICH I SEE YOU'RE NOT
INCLINED TO DO RIGHT NOW,

YOU'D REALIZE PORTIA AND I
ARE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

WHY IS SHE IMITATING YOU ?
[ Laughing ]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY ?
YOU ARE.

I'M NOT TRYING
TO BE FUNNY.

THINGS HAVE CERTAINLY
CHANGED AROUND HERE.

THAT HAPPENS
AFTER 20 YEARS.

I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU.
COME. COME WITH ME.

IT I YOU.

YES.

[ Andrew ]
PORTIA.

HELLO, MY FRIEND.
HELLO, LITTLE MISS.

WHOSE DAUGHTER IS SHE ?

LLOYD'S.
OH. NOW THE RUDENESS
MAKES SENSE.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Whimpering ]

GO.
GO HOME TO YOUR MASTER.

[ Barks ]

YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME,
DO YOU ?

I DON'T HAVE FOOD.
I DON'T EAT.

COME IN. WE'LL KEEP
EACH OTHER COMPANY.

I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER.
I JUST WANNA MAKE THAT CLEAR.

IT COULDN'T BE MORE CLEAR
IF YOU SPAT IN MY FACE.
I CAN'T.

I DON'T HAVE
A MUCOUS GLAND.

WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE TO HAVE
A SLIGHTLY LONGER CONVERSATION ?

MAY MY CANINE COMPANION
ENTER ALSO ?

THANK YOU.

IS THIS YOUR SCULPTURE ?

NO, I'M RESTORING IT.
I'M A PRESERVATION ARCHITECT.

IT'S QUITE HORRENDOUS.

HOW UGLY WAS IT
BEFORE YOU RESTORED IT ?

- LISTEN. FIRST, YOU GET MAD
AT ME BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK.
- MM-HMM.

TONIGHT YOU SHOW UP AT MY DOOR,
ANNOUNCE THAT YOU DON'T LIKE ME,
AND THEN YOU CRITICIZE MY WORK.

ONCE AGAIN, I APOLOGIZE
FOR TELLING THE TRUTH.

BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED.
IT'S MY PROGRAMMING.

WHAT IS IT EXACTLY
THAT YOU WANT ?

FAMILY.

MY LAST NAME IS MARTIN,

I AM SO NAMED BECAUSE
YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER
AND GRANDMOTHER...

CONSIDERED ME TO BE
A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY.

NOW, SIR IS DEAD.
LITTLE MISS IS GETTING OLDER.

YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BUT AT LEAST
YOU'LL TALK TO ME IF I KNOCK
ON YOUR DOOR LONG ENOUGH.

IS THAT A JOKE ?
NO.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR A JOKE ?
THIS BUDDHIST WALKS UP
TO A HOT DOG VENDOR AND SAYS,

"MAKE ME ONE
WITH EVERYTHING."

[ Laughing ]

ANDREW, DO YOU-- DO YOU HAVE
ANY FRIENDS AT ALL ?
NO.

ONLY WOOFY, WHO'S VERY SWEET,
BUT NOT VERY CHALLENGING
ON A CONVERSATIONAL LEVEL.

THAT IS THE EXTENT
OF HIS SKILLS.

SO YOU WANT SOMEONE
TO TALK TO ?
WITH.

EVEN IF THAT PERSON
DOESN'T LIKE YOU ?
YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING.

IS THAT RIGHT ? IS IT,
"YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING" ?
SEEMS LIKE SOME PEOPLE DO,

SO I'M SOMEWHAT CONFUSED
ON THAT LEVEL.

SIT DOWN. LET'S TALK.
THANK YOU.

MM-HMM.

HEY THERE, HANDSOME.
ANDREW, COULD I GET YOU
ANYTHING TO DRINK ?

SORRY, I HAVE NO STOMACH.
OH. COULD I GET
SOMETHING FOR HIM ?

HE HAS A STOMACH.
YES.
DO YOU THINK HE'S HUNGRY ?

[ Continue Speaking,
Indistinct ]

[ Woman Over P.A.,
Indistinct ]

[ Chattering ]

HOW IS SHE ?
SHE'S SLEEPING.

WHAT HAPPENED ?

SHE HAD A STROKE.

[ Door Closing ]

MM.
THERE YOU ARE.

LITTLE MISS.

HMM.

[ Exhaling ]

SHE'S GONE ?

IT'S CRUEL THAT YOU CAN CRY
AND I CANNOT.

HERE IS A TERRIBLE PAIN
I CANNOT EXPRESS.

WILL EVERY HUMAN BEING
THAT I CARE FOR...

JUST... LEAVE ?

I'M AFRAID SO.

THAT WON'T DO.

ANDREW, THIS IS
REMARKABLY IMPRESSIVE.
YOU DID THIS ALL BY YOURSELF ?

YES. I DOWNLOADED EVERY
KNOWN MEDICAL TEXTBOOK
INTO MY MEMORY.

I STUDIED THEM.
THAT'S HOW I CAME UP
WITH THESE DRAWINGS.

I KNOW THEY'RE VERY PRIMITIVE
AND NOT ENTIRELY COMPLETE,

BUT THAT'S WHY I NEED YOU
TO FILL IN THE MECHANICAL GAPS,
RUPERT.

THIS IS ANOTHER UPGRADE.

IT'S CONSIDERABLY MORE
THAN AN UPGRADE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE--

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
A PROFOUND TRANSITION...

FROM THE MECHANICAL
TO THE BIOLOGICAL.

I REALIZE THAT, AND I BELIEVE
IT IS THE IDEAL MARRIAGE
OF BOTH FIELDS.

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THIS STUFF
COULD CUT BOTH WAYS.

I DON'T THINK THAT ANY
EXISTING PROSTHETIC DEVICES
OR ARTIFICIAL ORGANS...

HOLD A CANDLE
TO WHAT YOU'VE DESIGNED HERE.

YOU COULD USE THESE
IN HUMAN BEINGS AS WELL.

EXACTLY.

WOW !

** [ Winding Down ]

WHAT A PIECE
OF FECAL MATTER.
SHIT.

EXCUSE ME ?
WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT.

I KNOW THAT.

NO, THAT'S WAY YOU SAY
WHEN YOU'RE FRUSTRATED.
YOU SAY "PIECE OF SHIT."

- "PIECE OF SHIT" ?
- YES, BUT-BUT WITH FEELING.

OH.
WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT.

MORE.
WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT !

GOOD, VERY GOOD.
THANK YOU.

NOW, ARE YOU AWARE
THAT WHAT YOU'VE ESSENTIALLY
DESIGNED HERE...

IS THE EQUIVALENT
OF THE HUMAN
CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM ?

THAT WAS
MY INTENTION, YES.
OKAY.

WELL, YOU GOTTA REALIZE
THAT A NERVOUS SYSTEM
IS GOING TO...

RADICALLY ENHANCE THE WAY
THAT YOU FEEL AND PERCEIVE
THE WORLD AROUND YOU.

I'M NOT JUST TALKING
ABOUT HOT AND COLD
AND LITTLE TINY PINPRICKS.

PUT IT THIS WAY:

AS YOUR EXPERIENCE
BECOMES VARIED,

SO WILL THE FEELINGS,
EMOTIONS, SENSATIONS...

STIMULATED
BY THAT EXPERIENCE.

AND WHILE SOME OF THESE
WILL BE VERY SUBTLE...

AND WONDERFUL
AND NUANCED AND SHADED,

OTHERS WILL BE
PROFOUNDLY INTENSE
AND DIFFICULT TO TOLERATE.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE READY FOR THAT ?

ABSOLUTELY.

LOVELY.
THANK YOU.

I WAS REFERRING
TO THE STATUE.

I KNOW.

COULD YOU FIX
THIS PIECE OF SHIT ?

[ Laughing ]
I DON'T KNOW.
LET ME TAKE A LOOK.

ANDREW, I'M SURE YOU COULD
RESTORE THIS YOURSELF.
YES, I COULD.

BUT YOU COULD DO IT
MUCH BETTER.

WELL, I'D BE HAPPY
TO FIX IT FOR YOU.

IF IT'S NOT
TOO MUCH EFFORT.
NO, NOT AT ALL.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ALL DAY,
AND I COULD REALLY USE SOME AIR.
DO YOU WANNA GO FOR A WALK ?

OH, THAT WOULD BE
QUITE SPLENDID.
YES.

[ Laughing ]
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING
AT ME ?

YOU'RE JUST--
YOU'RE ALWAYS SO POLITE
AND SO PROPER.

IT'S VERY SWEET.
THANK YOU.

LET'S GO.

THANK YOU.
[ Chuckling ]

* WHEN A MAN'S
AN EMPTY KETTLE *

* HE SHOULD BE
ON HIS METTLE *

* AND YET
I'M TORN APART *

* IT'S BECAUSE I'M PRESUMIN'
THAT I COULD BE KINDA HUMAN *

* IF I ONLY
HAD A HEART *

* PICTURE ME
DO YOU HAVE
AN IMPACT DRILL ?

UH, YEAH,
OVER ON THE RACK.
THANK YOU.

** [ Continues Singing ]
[ Drill Whirring ]

JESUS !
[ Robot Screaming ]

[ Portia ]
THERE'S A PARTY
NEXT WEEK...

TO CELEBRATE THE OPENING
OF THE BUILDING
THAT I RESTORED,

AND ALL MY FRIENDS
WILL BE THERE,

AND IT WOULD BE GREAT
IF YOU COULD COME.

I WOULD LOVE TO.
THANK YOU.

I THINK
YOU'RE LETTING ME WIN.

CHECKMATE.

[ Woman ]
* I LOVE ALL

* THE MANY CHARMS

* ABOUT YOU

* ABOVE ALL

* I WANT MY ARMS

* ABOUT YOU

* DON'T
DON'T BE *

* A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BABY

* COME TO MAMA

* COME TO MAMA, DO

* MY SWEET

* EMBRACEABLE

* YOU *

CHARLES, WHY DON'T YOU
GO GET US A DRINK ?

SURE.

[ Applause ]
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

* THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU

* AND I FORGET TO DO

* THE SIMPLE
ORDINARY THINGS *

* THAT EVERYONE
OUGHT TO DO *

* I'M LIVING IN

* A KIND OF DAYDREAM

* I'M HAPPY AS A KING

* AND FOOLISH

* THOUGH IT MAY SEEM

* TO ME YOU'RE EVERYTHING

* THE MERE IDEA OF YOU

* THOUGH I'M HERE FOR YOU

* YOU'LL NEVER KNOW

* HOW SLOW
THE MOMENTS GO *

* 'TIL I'M NEAR YOU *

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE PHRASE
"PEARLS BEFORE SWANS."
[ Laughing ]

WHAT ?
SWINE.

OH ? THEN THE BALLET IS NOT
SWINE LAKE ?

OH, GOD, NOBODY
MAKES ME LAUGH LIKE YOU.

LAUGHTER IS ESSENTIAL
FOR A GOOD FRIENDSHIP.

YES, IT IS.

SOMETIMES I GET
THE FEELING THAT...

YOU FEEL A CERTAIN WAY
ABOUT US...

AND... THAT YOU...

WISH OR--

[ Laughing ]
WHAT ?

I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE--

HAVING THIS CONVERSATION
WITH--

A ROBOT ?
YES.

I-I MEAN,
A THING IS ITSELF, ANDREW.

A TREE IS A TREE,
WATER IS WATER.
YOU...

ARE A MAGNIFICENT MACHINE.

BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH
YOU CHANGE, THAT'S WHAT
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE.

NO, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT,
WILL NOT BELIEVE THAT.

I REALIZE I'M NOT
ENTIRELY HUMAN.

THAT'S WHY PEOPLE DON'T
ALWAYS LIKE OR UNDERSTAND ME.

I LIKE YOU.
YOU DO ?

I EVEN UNDERSTAND YOU...
SOME OF THE TIME.

BUT I--

I CAN'T INVEST MY EMOTIONS
IN A MACHINE.

MUST BE A GENETIC TRAIT.

THINGS CHANGE, PORTIA.

THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE.

SHE LAUGHED AT ME.

"A THING IS ITSELF, ANDREW.
WATER IS WATER."
[ Scoffs ]

WHAT ABOUT ICE ?
WHAT ABOUT STEAM, HMM ?

ANDY, YOU GOTTA CALM DOWN,
OKAY ?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE LAUGHED AT ?

HUMILIATING.
IT'S AN ABOMINATION.

LOOK AT ME.
LOOK WHAT I'M DOING HERE.

I AM TRYING TO MAKE
SOMETHING OF MYSELF.

I AM TRYING
TO FULFILL MY DESTINY.
DOES SHE NOTICE ?

ANDREW ?
YES ?

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO TAKE THIS PERSONALLY,
BUT I HAVE TO WORK NOW.

GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NI--

WHERE'VE YOU BEEN ?
I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO CALL YOU.

POKE ME IN THE EYE.
POKE ME IN THE EYE, PORTIA.
WHAT ?

YOU'RE CRAZY.
POKE ME IN THE EYE !

OW ! OW !
[ Laughing ]

THAT HURTS. OW.
[ Laughs ]

IT WORKS.
WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON ?

IT'S MY NEURAL NET.
I AM THE PROUD OWNER
OF A CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

YOU CAN FEEL.
OH, YES, VERY MUCH.

WILL YOU DO SOMETHING
FOR ME ?

WILL YOU PERFORM AN EXPERIMENT
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SCIENCE ?
ALL RIGHT.

KISS ME.

NO, NOT THERE.
HERE.

THANK YOU.

COULD YOU FEEL IT ?

IT'S WONDERFUL.

IT'S EVERYTHING
THEY SAY IT IS.

AND YOU ?

PORTIA, WHAT'S WRONG ?

CHARLES AND I ARE
GETTING MARRIED.

HE'S A LUCKY MAN.

CONGRATULATIONS
TO THE BOTH OF YOU.

GODDAMN IT, ANDREW.

IF YOU'RE GONNA SUCCEED
AT THIS THING--
WHAT THING ?

THIS THING YOU'RE TRYING TO DO--
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP BEING
SO DAMN DEFERENTIAL.

I CAN'T HELP BEING DEFERENTIAL.
IT'S BUILT IN.
THEN CHANGE.

CHANGE ?
I HAVE CHANGED.

I DON'T MEAN ON THE OUTSIDE.
CHANGE ON THE INSIDE.

TAKE CHANCES,
MAKE MISTAKES.
MISTAKES ?

YES !
SOMETIMES IT'S IMPORTANT
NOT TO BE PERFECT, OKAY ?

IT'S IMPORTANT TO DO
THE WRONG THING.
DO THE WRONG THING ?

YES !
WHY ? OH, I SEE--
TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.

NO, TO MAKE THEM.

TO FIND OUT WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S NOT.
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU FEEL.

HUMAN BEINGS ARE
TERRIBLE MESSES, ANDREW.

I'LL GRANT YOU THAT.
I SEE.

THIS IS WHAT IS KNOWN AS
AN IRRATIONAL CONVERSATION,
ISN'T IT ?

NO, THIS IS
A HUMAN CONVERSATION.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING RATIONAL.
IT'S ABOUT FOLLOWING
YOUR HEART.

AND THAT'S
WHAT I SHOULD DO ?
YES.

AND YOU HAVE A HEART,
ANDREW. YOU DO.

I FEEL IT. I DON'T
EVEN BELIEVE IT SOMETIMES,
BUT I DO FEEL IT.

AND IN ORDER TO FOLLOW
THAT HEART,

ONE MUST DO
THE WRONG THING.

YES.

THANK YOU.

GALATEA, COULD YOU BE
A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL ?
THAT'S VERY DELICATE EQUIPMENT.

- [ Shattering ]
- SORRY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
- NEAR AS I CAN TELL,
YOUR BITCH WORK.

MY WHA ?

OH, YOU HEARD ME,
AND I'M SICK OF IT !

ALL DAY LONG IT'S,
"YES, RUPERT, SIR,"
"NO, RUPERT, SIR."

"WOULD YOU LIKE
ANOTHER BEVERAGE,
RUPERT, SIR ?"

AND IT CHAPS MY ASS !

SO HERE'S
A HELPFUL HINT FOR YOU:

[ Shouting ]
SHUT UP,
AND LET ME DO MY WORK !

[ Clattering ]
NO, NO.

I'M DONE.

"CHAPS MY ASS" ?

GIVE ME BACK THE CHIP.
WHERE'S THE CHIP ?
I REPLACED IT.

ANDREW, SHE'S UNCOOPERATIVE,
SHE'S ABUSIVE,
SHE'S CONFRONTATIONAL--

AND A LOT MORE INTERESTING,
DON'T YOU THINK ?

ARGUABLY,
BUT WE'RE NOT GETTING
ANY WORK DONE, ANDREW.

PLEASE, PLEASE,
GIVE ME THE OLD
PERSONALITY CHIP BACK.

FINE. SHE CAN BE
PERKY AGAIN.

PERKY ? SHE'S JUST A RO--
I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.

ANDREW ? ANDREW !
I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU TODAY ?
ANDREW, WHERE YOU GOING ?

** [ Classical ]

[ Chattering ]

HEY, JAMIE, COME OVER HERE.
I WANT YOU TO MEET CHARLES.

CHARLES, MY AUNT JAMIE.
HI, NICE TO MEET YOU.

THIS IS RYAN.
HEY, RYAN.

THIS IS MICHAEL.

THE BOYS ARE GREAT.

[ Gasps ]
RUPERT !
WHAT'S GOING ON ?

WHAT'S GOING ON ?
PORTIA'S PARENTS ARE THROWING
AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY...

THAT I WASN'T INVITED TO
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.
YEAH.

THERE HE IS.
WHO ?

THE PROSPECTIVE GROOM.
WHERE ?

WHERE ?
THE ONE IN THE PALE BLUE SUIT
WITH THE BIG POINTY CHIN.

HE'S GOT A POINTY CHIN ?
POINTY CHIN ? YOU COULD PUT
AN EYE OUT WITH THAT CHIN.

YEAH, THAT'S NOTHING
COMPARED TO HIS TEETH.
LOOK AT THAT.

I'M AMAZED HE'S OUT
IN DAYLIGHT.

HE'S GOT
FUNNY TEETH, HUH ?

YOU NEED TO UPGRADE
YOUR EYES.

THAT SHOULDN'T STOP PORTIA.
SHE CAN MARRY WHOEVER SHE LIKES.

IT'S JUST THAT ONE DAY
SHE'S GONNA WAKE UP NEXT TO HIM
AND REALIZE...

THAT SHE IS MARRIED TO A MAN
WHOSE FACE CLOSELY RESEMBLES
AN ANTIQUE CAN OPENER.

YOU KNOW ?
THE KIND THAT USED TO GO--
[ Clicking ]

YOU KNOW ?
THE ONES THAT MOVE AROUND
AND CAN POPS OFF.

YOU'RE JEALOUS.
YOU ARE JEALOUS.
NO, I'M NOT. NO, I'M NOT.

YOU ARE. OTHERWISE WHAT ARE YOU
DOING SNEAKING AROUND HERE,
SPYING ON PORTIA, HUH ?

MY GOD, I AM JEALOUS.

IF I'M JEALOUS,
THAT MEANS I'M IN LOVE.

HI !
OH, THANKS FOR COMING.

IF I'M IN LOVE,
THEN ALL HOPE IS GONE.

I'VE LOST HER.

ANDREW. ANDREW !

ANDY, WOULD YOU LIKE
A SIP OF MY BEER ?

IT WOULD BE A WASTE.
I COULD NOT TASTE IT.

WHAT IF YOU COULD ?
IT WOULD BE EXQUISITE.

I'VE COME UP WITH A DESIGN--
A MODIFICATION, RATHER--

THAT, IF I'M CORRECT,

WOULD ENABLE YOU TO DEAL
WITH SOLID FOODS
AND LIQUIDS.

AND TASTE ?
TASTE TOO.

AND ALSO,
[ Exhaling ]

IF MY SCHEMATICS
ARE CORRECT,

I THINK I'VE COME UP
WITH A METHOD...

TO MAKE YOU...

A COMPLETE MAN.

COMPLETE ?

COMPLETE.

COMPLETE ?

NOT IN A REPRODUCTIVE SENSE,
OF COURSE,

BUT IN TERMS
OF APPROXIMATING...

THE PHYSICAL SENSATION,

YOU KNOW, THAT OCCURS--

[ Stammering ]
FRICTION--

SEXUAL RELATIONS.
YEAH.

OH, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
FASCINATED BY THAT.

WELL, I MEAN, CURIOUS...

BECAUSE--

WELL, BECAUSE
OF WHAT THEY SAY.
WHAT DO THEY SAY ?

THAT YOU CAN LOSE YOURSELF--

EVERYTHING,
ALL BOUNDARIES, ALL TIME--

THE TWO BODIES CAN BECOME
SO MIXED UP...

THAT YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO'S WHO OR WHAT'S WHAT.

AND JUST WHEN THE SWEET
CONFUSION IS SO INTENSE
YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA DIE,

YOU KIND OF DO,

LEAVING YOU ALONE
IN YOUR SEPARATE BODY.

BUT THE ONE YOU LOVE
IS STILL THERE.

THAT'S A MIRACLE.

YOU CAN GO TO HEAVEN
AND COME BACK ALIVE.

YOU CAN GO BACK
ANYTIME YOU WANT--

WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE.

AND YOU WANT
TO EXPERIENCE THAT ?
OH, YES, PLEASE.

SO DO I.

[ Chattering ]

WE'LL HAVE TO HIRE
MORE PEOPLE.
MAYBE TWO MORE WEEKS.

[ Whispers ]
ANDREW.

EXCUSE ME.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
SURE.

I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO SEE YOU.
[ Chuckles ]

I REMEMBER THIS PLACE
VERY WELL.

THIS IS WHERE YOUR GRANDMOTHER
WAS MARRIED.

YEAH, I WANTED IT READY
FOR MY OWN WEDDING.

SO, YOU'RE NOT
MARRIED YET ?

NO, TWO WEEKS
FROM SATURDAY.

I'M NOT TOO LATE.

ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE
YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING ?

POSITIVE ?
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED ?

I'M NEVER ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE.
SO YOU COULD BE DOING
THE WRONG THING.

NO, I'M PRETTY SURE
I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING.
GREAT.

WHY IS THAT GREAT ?
IN YOUR APARTMENT, YOU TOLD ME
TO DO THE WRONG THING.

NOW, YOU ARE NOT DOING
THE WRONG THING.
YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

IT'S SAFE TO SAY YOU'RE NOT
FOLLOWING YOUR OWN ADVICE,
'CAUSE IF YOU WERE,

YOU WOULD DEFINITELY NOT BE
MARRYING THIS MAN, CHARLES.

BECAUSE I WOULD BE DOING
THE RIGHT THING.
PRECISELY.

IN SOME STRANGE WAY,
YOU'RE STARTING
TO MAKE SENSE.

GOOD. DO YOU HAVE
ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE...

WHO'S ABOUT TO MARRY
SOMEONE ELSE ?

SOMEONE TOTALLY MAGNIFICENT,
SOMEONE WHO WALKS INTO A ROOM
AND LIGHTS IT UP LIKE THE SUN ?

SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW
IS LYING TO HERSELF ?

LYING ?
CONVINCINGLY, YEAH.
VERY, VERY MUCH SO.

ABOUT WHAT ?
THAT YOU DON'T LOVE ME,

WHEN I KNOW AT LEAST
IN SOME WAY YOU DO.

AND HOW DO YOU
KNOW THAT ?
PORTIA,

I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING
INSIDE AND OUT.

BUT THAT STUFF
DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.
WELL, SOMETHING MATTERS,

'CAUSE I'D HAVE TO BELIEVE
IF NOTHING MATTERED,
YOU'D LOVE ME...

AND NOT SOME MAN
WHOSE CHIN COULD SINK
THE TITANIC.

[ Laughing ]
WHAT ? SEE ?
IT'S TRUE, ISN'T IT ?

I'M SORRY. DOES HE
LIGHT YOU UP LIKE THIS ?
DOES HE MAKE YOU LAUGH ?

NOBODY MAKES ME LAUGH
LIKE THIS.

GOOD. THEN ADMIT IT.
ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE ME.

GIVE ME ONE KISS.
OH, GOD.

THAT'S ALL.
ONE QUICK KISS.
JUST ONE KISS...

COULD NOT JEOPARDIZE
A GLORIOUS MARRIAGE.

BESIDES, IT WOULD ALSO EXPLAIN
TO ME WHY YOUR PULSE JUMPED
FROM 66 TO 102 BEATS PER MINUTE.

YOUR RESPIRATION RATE
HAS DOUBLED. YOU'RE PUTTING OUT
CLOUDS OF PHEROMONES.

IT'S NOT FAIR
TO READ ME LIKE THAT.
I KNOW. LOVE ISN'T FAIR.

I'M READING YOUR HEART.
I'M ASKING YOU TO FOLLOW IT--
BEGGING YOU.

BEGGING IS
SUPPOSED TO BE HUMILIATING.
I DON'T CARE.

I LOVE YOU, PORTIA.
I LOVED YOU THE VERY FIRST
MOMENT I SAW YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
A QUICK KISS.
I LIED.

[ Gasps ]

HOW DO YOU FEEL ?

WONDERFUL.
SO DO I.

I GUESS THAT'S THE POINT.

[ Stomach Growling ]

WHAT WAS THAT ?
THAT'S YOUR STOMACH GROWLING.
YOU'RE HUNGRY.

[ Flatulence ]

WAS THAT ME ?
YES.

I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU.
NO, IT WASN'T ME.

REALLY ? OOH.
DO YOU DO THAT ?

SOMETIMES.
QUIETER THAN THAT.

AH. I'LL HAVE TO HAVE RUPERT
MAKE ME A MUFFLER.
[ Laughing ]

MM-HMM.

IT'S WONDERFUL.
IT'S WONDERFUL-- THE TASTE
AND THE TEXTURE BOTH.

YOU KNOW, IT'S MARVELOUS.

I KNOW THIS WILL BE
MY FOURTH HELPING, BUT MAY I
PLEASE HAVE SOME MORE ?

PIG-- VERY SMART ANIMAL.
OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT SMART
IF IT ENDS UP AS BACON.

I FEEL LIKE I'M EATING MY WAY
THROUGH THE ENTIRE FOOD CHAIN.

THANK YOU.

WHAT ?

WHAT'S WRONG ?

IF WE'RE TOGETHER--
YOU AND ME--

WE'LL NEVER BE ACCEPTED.

BECAUSE I'M NOT HUMAN.

THAT WILL NOT DO.

I WILL HAVE TO GET STARTED.

STARTED WITH WHAT ?

THE NEXT STEP.
I LOVE YOU.

WISH ME LUCK.

[ Man ]
ANDREW MARTIN,
STEP FORWARD, PLEASE.

SO, MR. MARTIN,
YOU WOULD LIKE US
TO PASS A BILL...

DECLARING YOU
A HUMAN BEING.

YES, SPECIFICALLY
THE ABILITY TO MARRY...

A FELLOW HUMAN BEING.
I SEE.

WE HAVE TO FACE
THE UNDENIABLE FACT...

THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH
YOU MAY BE LIKE A HUMAN BEING,

YOU ARE NOT PART
OF THE HUMAN GENE POOL.

YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF IT ENTIRELY.
YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE,

SOMETHING ARTIFICIAL.

SIR, WHAT ABOUT
ALL THE REAL PEOPLE
WADING IN THE GENE POOL...

WHO HAVE BODIES
FULL OF PROSTHETIC DEVICES,
MANY OF WHICH I HAVE INVENTED.

YOU YOURSELF, SIR,
HAVE ONE OF MY KIDNEYS,
DO YOU NOT ?

ARE YOU NOT
IN SOME WAY ARTIFICIAL,
AT LEAST IN PART ?

IN PART, YES.

WELL, THEN,
I'M HUMAN IN PART.

WHICH PART, ANDREW ?

THIS ONE, SIR.

I SEE. AND HERE ?

IT IS TRUE I AM STILL EQUIPPED
WITH A POSITRONIC BRAIN.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT
POSITRONIC BRAIN,

YOU ARE,
FOR ALL ACCOUNTS, IMMORTAL.

YES, SIR.

WELL, ANDREW,
SOCIETY CAN TOLERATE
AN IMMORTAL ROBOT,

BUT WE WILL NEVER TOLERATE
AN IMMORTAL HUMAN.

IT AROUSES
TOO MUCH JEALOUSY,

TOO MUCH ANGER.

I'M SORRY, ANDREW.
THIS COURT CANNOT AND WILL NOT
VALIDATE YOUR HUMANITY.

I HEREBY BRING AN END
TO THESE PROCEEDINGS.

IT IS THE DECISION
OF THIS COURT...

THAT ANDREW MARTIN
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD...

WILL CONTINUE
TO BE DECLARED A ROBOT--

A MECHANICAL MACHINE,
NOTHING MORE.

ONE IS GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE.

ANDREW,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU...

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL
NOT SO SURE.

ABOUT US ?
NO.

NEXT WEEK WILL BE
MY 75th BIRTHDAY.
I KNOW, AND YOU LOOK 50.

THANK YOU.
A SPECTACULAR 50.

BUT I DON'T FEEL 50.
YOUR BODY DOES.

LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING.
WHAT WAS THAT CALLED AGAIN ?

SHUT UP
AND LISTEN TO ME.
SORRY.

AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.
I'M NOT ORDERING YOU AROUND.
WHATEVER YOU SAY.

PLEASE DON'T BE AGREEABLE.
I'M NOT BEING AGREEABLE.
I CAN BE IF YOU WANT.

OH, GODDAMN IT, ANDREW,
I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING IMPORTANT HERE.

[ Sighing ]

I'M NOT GOING
TO LIVE FOREVER.

YES, YOU WILL.
THAT'S WHY I INVENTED--

NO, NO, I WON'T ALWAYS TAKE
YOUR D.N.A. ELIXIRS.

I WON'T HAVE
ALL MY ORGANS REPLACED.

EVENTUALLY I'M GOING
TO WEAR OUT.

AND I WANT TO.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO LEAVE ?

THERE'S AN...
ORDER TO THINGS.

HUMAN BEINGS ARE MEANT
TO BE HERE FOR A CERTAIN TIME
AND THEN PASS ON.

THAT'S WHAT'S RIGHT.

I SEE.

THERE'S JUST
ONE PROBLEM, PORTIA.
WHAT ?

I COULDN'T STAND
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

ANDREW, PEOPLE GROW
THROUGH TIME,

BUT THEN, OF COURSE,
FOR YOU TIME IS A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT PROPOSITION.

FOR YOU,
TIME IS ENDLESS.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

[ Whirring ]

GALATEA, MY DEAR,
WHERE ARE WE ?

THE TRANSFUSION
IS ALMOST COMPLETE.

IS THAT SO ?

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU,
ANDREW,

SOMEBODY BECOMES
A HUMAN BEING,

SOONER OR LATER,
THEY DO SOMETHING
MONUMENTALLY STUPID.

YOU'VE BEEN
A GREAT EXAMPLE, RUPERT.

HOW QUICKLY WILL THE BLOOD
DEGRADE MY SYSTEM ?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU EXERCISE, EAT RIGHT,
I'D SAY 30, 40 YEARS.

THAT'S A LITTLE VAGUE, CHIEF.

YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW LONG I'LL LAST ?

SORRY.

WELCOME TO
THE HUMAN CONDITION.

ANDREW MARTIN--

I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED
TO MAKE SENSE OF THINGS.

THERE MUST BE SOME REASON
I AM AS I AM.

AS YOU CAN SEE,
MADAM CHAIRMAN,

I AM NO LONGER IMMORTAL.

YOU HAVE ARRANGED
TO DIE ?

IN A SENSE, I HAVE.

I AM GROWING OLD,
AND MY BODY IS DETERIORATING,

AND, LIKE ALL OF YOU,

IT WILL EVENTUALLY CEASE
TO FUNCTION.

AS A ROBOT,
I COULD'VE LIVED FOREVER.

BUT I TELL YOU ALL TODAY,

I WOULD RATHER DIE A MAN...

THAN LIVE FOR ALL ETERNITY
AS A MACHINE.

WHY DO YOU WANT THIS ?

TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED...

FOR WHO AND WHAT I AM--

NO MORE, NO LESS.

NOT FOR ACCLAIM,
NOT FOR APPROVAL.

THE SIMPLE TRUTH
OF THAT RECOGNITION--

THIS HAS BEEN
THE ELEMENTAL DRIVE
OF MY EXISTENCE,

AND IT MUST BE ACHIEVED,
IF I AM TO LIVE OR DIE...

WITH DIGNITY.

MR. MARTIN,

WHAT YOU ARE
ASKING FOR IS...

EXTREMELY COMPLEX
AND CONTROVERSIAL.

IT WILL NOT BE
AN EASY DECISION.

I MUST ASK
FOR YOUR PATIENCE...

WHILE I TAKE THE NECESSARY TIME
TO MAKE A DETERMINATION...

OF THIS EXTREMELY
DELICATE MATTER.

I AWAIT YOUR DECISION,
MADAM CHAIRMAN.

THANK YOU
FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

WE TRIED.

IS IT ALMOST TIME ?

IN A FEW MINUTES.

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT THE WORLD CONGRESS SAYS.

WHY DO YOU NEED
THEIR APPROVAL ?

OLD HABIT.

I STARTED MY EXISTENCE
AS A ROBOT.

I STILL LIKE TO BE TOLD
CERTAIN THINGS.

IT'S TIME.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MS. MARJORIE BOTA,

PRESIDENT
OF THE WORLD CONGRESS.

ACCORDING TO RECORDS
OF THE NORTHAM ROBOTICS COMPANY,

THE ROBOT,
ALSO KNOWN AS ANDREW MARTIN,

WAS POWERED UP AT 5:15 P.M.,
ON APRIL 3, 2005.

IN A FEW HOURS,
HE WILL BE 200 YEARS OLD,

WHICH MEANS THAT,
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF METHUSELAH
AND OTHER BIBLICAL FIGURES,

ANDREW IS THE OLDEST LIVING
HUMAN BEING IN RECORDED HISTORY.

FOR IT IS
BY THIS PROCLAMATION...

THAT I VALIDATE HIS MARRIAGE
TO PORTIA CHARNEY...

AND ACKNOWLEDGE HIS HUMANITY.

[ Sighs ]

ANDREW ?

I'M SORRY
HE DIDN'T SEE IT.

MAYBE HE DIDN'T NEED TO.

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR ?

WOULD YOU MIND
UNPLUGGING ME ?

THAT'S AN ORDER.

THANK YOU, GALATEA.

AS THE GREAT ANDREW MARTIN
USED TO SAY,

"ONE IS GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE."

I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

* LAUGH AND CRY

* LIVE AND DIE

* LIFE IS A DREAM

* WE ALL DREAM IT

* DAY BY DAY

* I FIND MY WAY

* LOOK FOR THE SOUL

* AND THE MEANING

* THEN YOU LOOK AT ME

* AND I ALWAYS SEE

* WHAT I HAVE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR *

* I'M LOST AS CAN BE

* THEN YOU LOOK AT ME

* AND I AM NOT LOST ANYMORE

* PEOPLE RUN

* SUN TO SUN

* CAUGHT IN THEIR LIVES

* EVER FLOWING

* ONE SWEET DAWN

* LIFE GOES TILL IT'S GONE

* WE HAVE TO GO

* WHERE IT'S GOING

* THEN YOU LOOK AT ME

* AND I ALWAYS SEE

* WHAT I HAVE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR *

* I'M LOST AS CAN BE

* THEN YOU LOOK AT ME

* AND I AM NOT LOST

* ANYMORE

* AND YOU SAY YOU SEE

* WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

* THE REASON
YOU LOVE LIFE SO *

* THOUGH LOST I HAVE BEEN

* I FIND LOVE AGAIN

* AND LIFE JUST KEEPS
ON RUNNING *

* AND LIFE JUST KEEPS
ON RUNNING *

* YOU LOOK AT ME

* AND LIFE HOLDS LOVE FOR

* YOU

* FOR

* YOU *