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1
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:09,960
They just walked out of there.
2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,640
Yeah, I know,
I was sort of sitting next to you.
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,920
The whole Waters family,
they just walked right out of there.
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,640
- Again, I was in the room.
- How do they always manage that?
5
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,200
They're good.
6
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,680
They're greedy and they'll do it again.
7
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,920
And next time, we're going to
catch them in the act.
8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,040
How?
9
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,880
- No good?
- They always know we're coming.
10
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,680
How do they always know?
11
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,160
They're good, they work at it.
12
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,080
- They're never going to stop.
- Well, neither are we.
13
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,760
- Greg.
- In the act!
14
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,640
The only way we're going to do this,
in the act!
15
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,240
You still blocking it?
16
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,560
Yeah, very efficiently hacked.
17
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,560
They must be bloody pleased
with themselves.
18
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,120
They must be.
19
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,920
Right, then.
20
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,120
Ah, no.
21
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,840
You go make the arrest.
This one's yours, boss.
22
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,040
You've never called me boss before.
23
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,840
No? Well, look what happens
when you're good.
24
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,280
You know how most days aren't good days?
25
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,520
- This is a good day.
- Not for the Waters family.
26
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,240
Okay, 10 men on the roof.
All exits covered.
27
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,120
The bank's closed
so we've no hostages to worry about.
28
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,440
Sorry, no, go on, go on.
29
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,480
Um, we've got
the tunnel entrance covered
30
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,360
and Davis, Well and Christie
are heading up.
31
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,960
Armed Response aren't mucking around.
32
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,440
Sorry, I'd better get this.
33
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,680
It's him, isn't it?
34
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,880
- I... I have to go.
- What?
35
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,480
- You make the arrest.
- No way.
36
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,480
Sorry, you'll be fine.
I'm cool with this.
37
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,760
Jones will get all the credit
if you leave now and you know he will.
38
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,120
Yeah, well... Yeah, it doesn't matter,
I'll have to go.
39
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,200
Backup, I need maximum backup.
40
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,640
Baker Street, now.
41
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,680
What's going on?
42
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,400
- This is hard.
- What?
43
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,800
Really hard.
Hardest thing I've ever had to do.
44
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,560
Do you know
any funny stories about John?
45
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:26,920
What?
46
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,720
I need anecdotes.
47
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,000
Didn't go to any trouble, did you?
48
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,200
- Shut up, Mrs Hudson.
- I haven't said a word.
49
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,960
You're formulating a question
50
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,400
and it's physically painful
watching you think.
51
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,200
I thought it was you playing.
52
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,000
It was me playing.
53
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,160
I am composing.
54
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,920
You were dancing.
55
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,920
- I was road-testing.
- You what?
56
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,880
Why are you here?
57
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,200
I'm bringing you your morning tea.
58
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,600
You're not usually awake.
59
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,960
You bring me tea in the morning?
60
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,880
Where do you think
it came from?
61
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,360
I don't know,
I just thought it sort of happened.
62
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,040
Your mother has a lot to answer for.
63
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,600
Mmm, I know. I have a list.
64
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,800
Mycroft has a file.
65
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,360
So, it's the big day, then.
66
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,400
What big day?
67
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,920
The wedding.
68
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,600
John and Mary are getting married.
69
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,320
Two people who currently who live
together are about to attend church,
70
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,000
have a party, go on a short holiday,
71
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,880
then carry on living together.
What's big about that?
72
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,400
It changes people, marriage.
73
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,000
Mmm, no, it doesn't.
74
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,440
Well, you wouldn't understand
'cause you always live alone.
75
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,320
Your husband was executed
for double murder,
76
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,160
you're hardly an advert
for companionship.
77
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,640
Marriage changes you as a person
in ways that you can't imagine.
78
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,080
As does lethal injection.
79
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,600
My best friend, Margaret,
she was my chief bridesmaid,
80
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,480
we were going to be
best friends forever,
81
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,040
we always said that.
82
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,720
But I hardly saw her after that.
83
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,000
Aren't there usually biscuits?
84
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,400
- I've run out.
- Have the shops?
85
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,960
She cried the whole day, saying,
"Ooh, it's the end of an era."
86
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,720
I'm sure the shop on the corner is open.
87
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,720
She was probably right, really.
88
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,680
I remember she left early.
89
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,800
I mean, who leaves a wedding early?
90
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,520
So sad.
91
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,520
Mmm. Anyway, you've got things to do.
92
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,040
No, not really.
I've got plenty of time...
93
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,400
Biscuits!
94
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,200
I really am going to have a word
with your mother.
95
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,440
You can if you like,
she understands very little.
96
00:06:58,840 --> 00:06:59,960
Right, then.
97
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,720
Into battle.
98
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,880
Congratulations!
99
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,040
Okay, hold it there,
I want to get this shot
100
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,560
of the newlyweds.
101
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,640
Ah, just the bride and groom, please.
102
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,240
- Sherlock.
- Oh, sorry.
103
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,040
Okay. Three, two, one.
104
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,320
Cheese.
105
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,840
The famous Mr Holmes.
106
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,880
I'm very pleased to meet you.
107
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,200
- But no sex, okay?
- Sorry?
108
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,240
You don't have to look so scared.
109
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,560
I'm only messing.
110
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,480
Bridesmaid, best man,
it's a bit traditional.
111
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,520
Is it?
112
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,840
But not obligatory.
113
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,120
If that's the sort of thing
you're looking for,
114
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,720
the man over there
in blue is your best bet.
115
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,480
Recently divorced doctor
with a ginger cat,
116
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,280
a barn conversion and a history
of erectile dysfunction.
117
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,440
Reviewing that information,
possibly not your best bet.
118
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,760
Yeah, maybe not.
119
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,000
Sorry, there was one more deduction
there than I was expecting.
120
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,000
Mr Holmes,
you're going to be incredibly useful.
121
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,040
Hello, lovely to meet you.
122
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,600
- How are you?
- Beautiful, Mary.
123
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,680
Thank you.
124
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,600
David.
125
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,000
Mary. Congratulations.
126
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,520
- You look, um, very nice.
- Thanks.
127
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,440
John, congratulations.
You're a lucky man.
128
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,560
Thank you.
129
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,080
Um, David, this is Sherlock.
130
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,480
- Mmm.
- Um, yeah, we've, um...
131
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,480
We've met.
132
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,240
So what exactly are my duties
as an usher?
133
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,720
Let's talk about Mary first.
134
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,240
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, I think you know what.
135
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,680
You went out with her for two years.
136
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,280
Ages ago.
We're just good friends now.
137
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,760
Is that a fact?
138
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,160
Whenever she tweets,
you respond within five minutes,
139
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,560
regardless of time or current location,
140
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,200
suggesting you have her on text alert.
141
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,760
In all your Facebook photographs
of the happy couple,
142
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,840
Mary takes centre frame,
143
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,080
whereas John is always partly
or entirely excluded.
144
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,040
Wait, you can't assume from that
145
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,640
that I've still got some kind of
interest in Mary?
146
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,040
You've volunteered to be
a shoulder to cry on
147
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,480
on no less than
three separate occasions.
148
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,160
Do you have anything
to say in your defence?
149
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,320
I think from now on we'll downgrade you
to casual acquaintance,
150
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,240
no more than three planned
social encounters a year
151
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,480
and always in John's presence.
152
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,640
I have your contact details.
I will be monitoring.
153
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,280
They're right about you.
You're a bloody psychopath.
154
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,480
High-functioning sociopath.
155
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,200
With your number.
156
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,440
Hello.
157
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,240
Thanks for coming, thank you.
158
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,320
Oh.
159
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,880
Yes, um, well done
in the service, Archie.
160
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,160
He's really come out of his shell.
I don't know how you did it.
161
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,760
Um...
162
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,680
Basically, it's a cute smile
to the bride's side,
163
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,320
cute smile to the groom's side
and then the rings.
164
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,240
- No.
- And you have to wear the outfit.
165
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,120
- No.
- You really do have to wear the outfit.
166
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,760
- What for?
- Grownups like that sort of thing.
167
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,000
Why?
168
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,680
I don't know. I'll ask one.
169
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,000
You're a detective?
170
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,320
Yep.
171
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,240
- Have you solved any murders?
- Sure, loads.
172
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,880
Can I see?
173
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,160
Yeah, all right.
174
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,600
What's all that stuff in his eye?
175
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,680
Maggots.
176
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,120
- Cool.
- Hmm.
177
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,320
He said you had some pictures for him
as a treat.
178
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,600
Er, yes, if he's good.
179
00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,720
Beheadings.
180
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,800
Lovely little village.
181
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,880
Hmm? What did you say?
182
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,280
Hold it.
183
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,760
Nice.
184
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,440
- Vol-au-vent?
- I'm starving.
185
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,720
- Thanks.
- I had to lose so much weight
186
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,880
to get into this dress.
187
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,600
Mmm. He's nice.
188
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,320
Traces of two leading
brands of deodorant,
189
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,520
both advertised for their strength.
190
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,000
Suggestive of a chronic
body odour problem
191
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,160
manifesting under stress.
192
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,640
Okay, done there.
What about his friend?
193
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,160
Long-term relationship.
Compulsive cheat.
194
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,160
- Seriously?
- Waterproof cover on the smartphone.
195
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,520
Yet his complexion doesn't indicate
outdoor work.
196
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,840
Suggests he's in the habit of taking
his phone into the shower with him,
197
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,440
which means he often receives texts
and emails he'd rather went unseen.
198
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,200
- Can I keep you?
- Do you like solving crimes?
199
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,320
Do you have a vacancy?
200
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,600
- So, Harry?
- Uh, no, no show.
201
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,000
Darling, I'm so sorry.
202
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,800
Yeah, it was a bit of a punt asking,
I suppose.
203
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,520
Still, free bar,
wouldn't have been a good mix.
204
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,640
Oh. God, wow.
205
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:12,920
- Is that...
- He came.
206
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,120
So that's him.
207
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,360
- Major Sholto.
- Uh-huh.
208
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,800
If they're such good friends,
why does he barely even mention him?
209
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,000
He mentions him all the time to me.
Never shuts up about him.
210
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,320
- About him?
- Mmm-hmm.
211
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,920
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful.
212
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,520
Yes, but it's definitely him
that he talks about?
213
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,880
Mmm-hmm.
214
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,000
I'm very, very glad to see you, sir.
215
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,880
I know you don't really
do this sort of thing.
216
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,520
Well, I do for old friends, Watson.
217
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,200
John.
218
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,920
- It's good to see you.
- You, too.
219
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,880
Civilian life suiting you, then?
220
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,280
Er, yes, well, I think so, sir.
221
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,640
No more need for the trick cyclist?
222
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,920
No, I go now and then.
Sort of a top-up.
223
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,200
Therapy can be very helpful.
224
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,520
Where are you living these days?
225
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,920
Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere.
You wouldn't know it.
226
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,320
- You look well.
- I've never even heard him say his name.
227
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,000
Well, he's almost a recluse.
228
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,160
- You know, since...
- Yes.
229
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,600
I didn't think he'd show up at all.
230
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,720
John says he's the most unsociable man
he's ever met.
231
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,920
- He is? He's the most unsociable?
- Mmm.
232
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,880
Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him
like a puppy.
233
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,160
Oh, Sherlock.
234
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,280
Neither of us were the first, you know.
235
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,560
- Stop smiling.
- It's my wedding day.
236
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,680
Yes. What?
237
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,280
- Sherlock.
- Why are you out of breath?
238
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,080
Filing.
239
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,400
Either I've caught you
in a compromising position
240
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,920
or you've been working out again.
Favour the latter.
241
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,200
- What do you want?
- I need your answer, Mycroft,
242
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,480
as a matter of urgency.
243
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,640
- Answer?
- Even at the eleventh hour
244
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,400
it's not too late to know.
245
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,680
Oh, Lord.
246
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,320
Cars can be ordered,
247
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,840
private jets commandeered.
248
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,240
Today. It's today, isn't it?
249
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,880
No, Sherlock, I will not be coming
250
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,600
to the "night do",
as you so poetically put it.
251
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,400
What a shame.
252
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,960
Mary and John will be extremely...
253
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,520
Delighted not to have me hanging around.
254
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,000
Oh, I don't know.
255
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,160
There should always be a spectre
at the feast.
256
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,240
So, this is it, then? The big day.
257
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,440
I suppose I'll be seeing
a lot more of you from now on.
258
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,120
- What do you mean?
- It'll be just like old times.
259
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,440
No, I don't understand.
260
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,440
Well, it's the end of an era, isn't it?
261
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,640
John and Mary. Domestic bliss.
262
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,920
No, no, no. I prefer to think of it
as the beginning of a new chapter.
263
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,760
- What?
- Nothing.
264
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,440
I know that silence. What?
265
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,200
Well, I'd better let you get back to it.
266
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,600
You have a big speech
or something, don't you?
267
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,960
- What?
- Cakes. Karaoke.
268
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,880
- Mingling.
- Mycroft!
269
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,720
This is what people do, Sherlock.
They get married. I warned you.
270
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,280
Don't get involved.
271
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,560
Involved? I'm not involved.
272
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,600
- No.
- John asked me to be his best man.
273
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,000
- How could I say no?
- Absolutely.
274
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,520
- I'm not involved.
- I believe you.
275
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,000
Really, I do.
276
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,880
Have a lovely day
and do give the happy couple my best.
277
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,160
I will.
278
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,720
Oh, by the way, Sherlock.
279
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,400
Do you remember Redbeard?
280
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,120
I'm not a child any more, Mycroft.
281
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,960
No, of course you're not.
282
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,440
Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock.
283
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,600
Pray silence for the best man.
284
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,200
Ladies and gentlemen,
285
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,240
family and friends.
286
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,280
And, um...
287
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,640
others.
288
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,840
Uh...
289
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,520
Also...
290
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,000
- Greg.
- Molly.
291
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,280
I just had a thought.
292
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,400
Is that a brain?
293
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,400
What if John asks Sherlock
to be his best man?
294
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,440
- Well, he will. He's bound to.
- Exactly.
295
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,080
- So?
- So, he'll have to make a speech
296
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,160
in front of people.
297
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,000
There will be actual people there
actually listening.
298
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,640
Well, what's the worst
that could happen?
299
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,440
Helen Louise probably wondered the same.
300
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,920
Helen Louise?
301
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,160
Oh, hello, dear.
302
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,880
I was just thinking,
if John does ask Sherlock...
303
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,800
What, the speech, dear?
I know. It'll be fine.
304
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,800
It's not just the speech, though, is it?
305
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,880
Mrs Hudson?
306
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,480
- Oh, no, darling.
- You all right?
307
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,240
I was going to see Sherlock
and I thought you were...
308
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,400
- No.
- ...possibly dying.
309
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,760
I'm sorry.
310
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,840
What's wrong?
311
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,800
The telegrams.
312
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,720
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, sorry.
313
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,240
The telegrams.
314
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,280
Right, um...
315
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,080
Mmm.
316
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,520
First things first.
317
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,600
Telegrams.
318
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,840
Well, they're not actually telegrams.
319
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,600
We just call them telegrams,
I don't know why.
320
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,720
Wedding tradition.
321
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,080
Because we don't have enough
of that already, apparently.
322
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,960
"To Mr and Mrs Watson.
323
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,440
So sorry I'm unable to be with you
on your special day.
324
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,400
Good luck and best wishes,
Mike Stanford."
325
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,640
- Ah, Mike.
- Aw.
326
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,040
"To John and Mary.
327
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,840
All good wishes for your special day.
With love and many big...
328
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,120
big squishy cuddles
from Stella and Ted."
329
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,880
"Mary, lots of love..." Oh!
330
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,400
- Yeah?
- "...poppet."
331
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,800
"Oodles of love
and heaps of good wishes from Cam.
332
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,320
Wish your family could have seen this."
333
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,240
- Hey, hmm?
- Yep.
334
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,640
Um... "Special day."
335
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,480
"Very special day."
"Love." "Love." "Love." "Love."
336
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,040
"Love." Bit of a theme,
you get the general gist.
337
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,400
People are basically fond.
338
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,440
John Watson.
339
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,760
My friend, John Watson.
340
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,440
John.
341
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,600
When John first broached the subject
of being best man, I was confused.
342
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,240
- Sherlock?
- What was that noise downstairs?
343
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,800
Ah, it was Mrs Hudson laughing.
344
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,840
It sounds like she was torturing an owl.
345
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,640
Yeah, well it was laughter.
346
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,240
Could have been both.
347
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,800
- Busy?
- Just occupying myself.
348
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,560
Sometimes it's so hard not smoking.
349
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,840
Mind if I interrupt?
350
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,240
Oh, be my guest.
351
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,320
- Tea?
- Ah...
352
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,720
So.
353
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,000
- The big question.
- Mmm-hmm?
354
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,200
The best man.
355
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,240
- The best man?
- What do you think?
356
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,400
Billy Kincaid.
357
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,040
- Sorry, what?
- Billy Kincaid, the Camden Garrotter.
358
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,120
Best man I ever knew.
359
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,880
Vast contributions to charity
never disclosed.
360
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,400
Personally managed to save
three hospitals from closure,
361
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,040
and ran the best and safest
children's homes in North England.
362
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,720
Yes, every now and again
there would be some garrottings,
363
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,320
but stacking up the lives saved
against the garrottings,
364
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,800
- on balance I'd say...
- For my wedding.
365
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,120
For me. I need a best man.
366
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,200
Oh, right.
367
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,240
- Maybe not a garrotter.
- Gavin?
368
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,040
- Who?
- Gavin Lestrade.
369
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,160
He's a man and good at it.
370
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,640
It's Greg.
371
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,160
And he's not my best friend.
372
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,280
Oh, Mike Stanford, I see.
373
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,920
Well, he's nice, um...
374
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,040
Though I'm not sure
how well he'd cope with...
375
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,760
No, Mike's great,
but he's not my best friend.
376
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,640
Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest
and most important day of my life.
377
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,760
- Well...
- No, it is. It is.
378
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,640
And I want to be up there
with the two people
379
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,040
that I love and care about
380
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,760
- most in the world.
- Yes.
381
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,800
- Mary Morstan...
- Yes.
382
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,600
...and...
383
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,800
you.
384
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,160
I confess at first I didn't realise
he was asking me.
385
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,880
When finally I understood,
386
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,000
I expressed to him that I was
both flattered and surprised.
387
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,960
I explained to him that
I had never expected this request
388
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,840
and I was a little daunted
in the face of it.
389
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,360
Sherlock?
390
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,480
I nonetheless promised that I would do
my very best to accomplish a task
391
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,400
which was, for me,
as demanding and difficult
392
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:35,920
as any I had ever contemplated.
393
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,120
Additionally, I thanked him
for the trust he placed in me
394
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,960
and indicated that I was, in some ways,
395
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,600
very close to being moved by it.
396
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,040
No, it's getting a bit scary now.
397
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,640
It later transpired that I'd said
none of this out aloud.
398
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,000
So, in fact...
399
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,400
- You-you mean...
- Yes.
400
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,880
I'm your... best...
401
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,240
- Man.
- ...friend?
402
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,840
Yeah, of course you are.
403
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,600
Course you're my best friend.
404
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,840
Well, how was that?
405
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,400
Surprisingly okay.
406
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,160
So you'll have to make a speech,
of course.
407
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,480
So...
408
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,480
Done that. Done that.
409
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,400
Done that bit. Done that bit.
410
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:52,840
Done that bit.
411
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,480
I'm afraid, John,
I can't congratulate you.
412
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,680
All emotions, and in particular love,
413
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,720
stand opposed to the pure cold reason
I hold above all things.
414
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,080
A wedding is, in my considered opinion,
415
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,720
nothing short of a celebration of
all that is false and specious
416
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,720
and irrational and sentimental
417
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,000
in this ailing
and morally compromised world.
418
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,360
Today we honour the deathwatch beetle
that is the doom of our society
419
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,480
and in time, one feels certain,
our entire species.
420
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,920
But anyway, let's talk about John.
421
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,560
Please.
422
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,280
If I burden myself with
a little helpmate during my adventures,
423
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,240
it is not out of sentiment or caprice,
424
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,560
it is that he has many
fine qualities of his own
425
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,840
that he has overlooked
in his obsession with me.
426
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,680
Indeed, any reputation I have
for mental acuity and sharpness
427
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,040
comes in truth from
the extraordinary contrast
428
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:47,800
John so selflessly provides.
429
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,520
It is a fact, I believe,
that brides tend to favour
430
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,920
exceptionally plain bridesmaids
for their big day.
431
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,080
There is a certain
analogy there, I feel.
432
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,600
And contrast is, after all,
433
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,080
God's own plan to enhance
the beauty of his creation.
434
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,840
Or it would be if God were not
a ludicrous fantasy
435
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,640
designed to provide a career opportunity
for the family idiot.
436
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,440
The point I'm trying to make
is that I am
437
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,320
the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant
438
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,200
and all-round obnoxious arsehole
439
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,360
that anyone could possibly have
the misfortune to meet.
440
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,200
I am dismissive of the virtuous,
441
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,560
unaware of the beautiful,
442
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,080
and uncomprehending
in the face of the happy.
443
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,080
So if I didn't understand
I was being asked to be best man,
444
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,040
it is because I never expected to be
anybody's best friend.
445
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,960
And certainly not the best friend
446
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,280
of the bravest and kindest
and wisest human being
447
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,920
I have ever had the good fortune
of knowing.
448
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,320
Aw.
449
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,680
John, I am a ridiculous man.
450
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,800
Redeemed only by the warmth
and constancy of your friendship.
451
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,280
But as I am, apparently,
your best friend,
452
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,600
I cannot congratulate you
on your choice of companion.
453
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,840
Actually, now I can.
454
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,360
Mary, when I say you deserve this man,
455
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,800
it is the highest compliment
of which I am capable.
456
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,840
John, you have endured war
457
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,920
and injury
458
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,160
and tragic loss.
459
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,320
So sorry again about that last one.
460
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,120
So know this. Today you sit between
461
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,160
the woman you have made your wife
and the man you have saved.
462
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,880
In short, the two people who
love you most in all this world.
463
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,200
And I know I speak for Mary as well
when I say we will never let you down
464
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,480
and we have a lifetime ahead
to prove that.
465
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,840
- If I try and hug him, stop me.
- Certainly not.
466
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,720
Ah, yes. Now onto some
funny stories about John.
467
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,120
What's wrong? What happened?
Why are you all doing that?
468
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,320
John?
469
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,360
Oh, Sherlock.
470
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:56,880
Did I do it wrong?
471
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,640
No, you didn't. Come here.
472
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,000
- I haven't finished yet.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
473
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,960
- So onto some funny stories...
- Can you wait till I sit down?
474
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,320
So onto some funny stories about John.
475
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,360
If you could all just cheer up a bit,
that would...
476
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,440
...be better.
477
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,320
On we go.
478
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,480
So for funny stories, one has to look
no further than John's blog.
479
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,560
The record of our time together.
480
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,080
Of course, he does tend to romanticise
things a bit but then, you know,
481
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,160
he's a romantic.
482
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,480
We've tackled some strange cases.
483
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,680
The Hollow Client.
484
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,320
The Poisoned Giant.
485
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,800
Get down, John!
486
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,720
We've had some frustrating cases.
487
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,880
What is that?
488
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,120
A French decathlete
found completely out of his mind
489
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,480
surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes,
all empty, except this one.
490
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,840
And what's in that one?
491
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,320
The inexplicable.
492
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,320
Touching cases.
493
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,880
She's going to ring the doorbell.
494
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,400
Oh, no, she's changed her mind.
495
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,920
No, she's going to do it.
No, she's leaving.
496
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,200
She's leaving.
Oh, she's coming back.
497
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,240
She's a client, she's boring.
I've seen those symptoms before.
498
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,400
Hmm?
499
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,040
Oscillation on the pavement
always means there's a love affair.
500
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,360
And of course, I have to mention
The Elephant in the Room.
501
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,520
But we want something very particular
for this special day, don't we?
502
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,240
The Bloody Guardsman.
503
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,520
Need to work on your half
of the church, Mary.
504
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,400
- Looking a bit thin.
- Oh.
505
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,480
Orphan's lot.
506
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,520
Friends, that's all I have.
Lots of friends.
507
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,080
Schedule the organ music
to begin at precisely 11:48...
508
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,280
But the rehearsal's not for
another two weeks. Just calm down.
509
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,200
Calm? I am calm, I'm extremely calm.
510
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,440
Let's get back to the reception.
Come on.
511
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,080
John's cousin, top table?
512
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,120
Hmm, hates you.
Can't even bear to think about you.
513
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,920
- Seriously?
- Second-class post.
514
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,520
Cheap card.
515
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,960
Bought at a petrol station.
Look at the stamp.
516
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,040
Three attempts at licking.
517
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,360
She's obviously unconsciously
retaining saliva.
518
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,960
Aw, let's stick her by the bogs.
519
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,760
Oh, yes.
520
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,320
Who else hates me?
521
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,440
Oh, great. Thanks.
522
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,640
"Priceless painting nicked."
Looks interesting.
523
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:52,720
- Table four?
- Done.
524
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,560
"My husband is three people."
525
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,040
- Table five?
- Major James Sholto. Who he?
526
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,680
Oh, John's old commanding officer.
I don't think he's coming.
527
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,760
- He'll be there.
- Well, he needs to RSVP, then.
528
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:02,840
He'll be there.
529
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,360
"My husband is three people."
It's interesting.
530
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,120
Says he has three distinct patterns
of moles on his skin.
531
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,840
Identical triplets.
One in half a million births.
532
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:11,960
Solved it without leaving the flat.
533
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,080
Now, serviettes.
534
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,640
Swan or Sydney Opera House?
535
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,760
Where did you learn to do that?
536
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,200
Many unexpected skills required
in the field of criminal investigation.
537
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,080
- Fibbing, Sherlock.
- I once broke an alibi
538
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,160
by demonstrating
the exact severity of...
539
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,360
I'm not John.
I can tell when you're fibbing.
540
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,880
Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.
541
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,520
Opera House, please.
Oh, hang on. I'm buzzing.
542
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,760
Hello?
543
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,040
Oh, hi, Beth.
544
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,360
Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not.
545
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,280
Actually, if that's Beth,
it's probably for me, too. Hang on.
546
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,040
He knows we don't have
a friend called Beth.
547
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,400
He's going to figure out that it's code.
548
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,000
- He's YouTubing serviettes.
- He's thorough.
549
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,360
- He's terrified.
- Of course he's not.
550
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,880
Right, you know when you're
scared of something,
551
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,920
you start wishing it sooner
just to get it all going?
552
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,040
That's what he's doing.
553
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,480
Why would he be scared
that we're getting married?
554
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,440
It's not going to change anything.
We'll still do stuff.
555
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,800
We need to prove it to him.
I told you to find him a new case.
556
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,640
- I'm trying.
- You need to run him, okay?
557
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,960
Show him it's still the good old days.
558
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,440
That just sort of happened.
559
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,640
Sherlock, um...
560
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,240
mate.
561
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,600
I've...
562
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,280
I've smelled
18 different perfumes.
563
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,720
I've sampled
564
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,000
nine different slices of cake,
which all tasted identical.
565
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,840
I like the bridesmaids in purple.
566
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,360
- Lilac.
- Lilac.
567
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,960
Um, there are no more decisions
left to make.
568
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,080
I don't even understand the decisions
that we have made.
569
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,200
I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting.
570
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,360
So please, before she comes back...
571
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:54,960
...pick something.
572
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,720
- Anything, pick one.
- Pick what?
573
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,000
A case.
574
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,320
Your inbox is bursting. Just...
575
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,120
get me out of here.
576
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,440
You want to go out on a case? Now?
577
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,720
Please.
578
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,240
Sherlock, for me.
579
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,960
Don't you worry about anything.
I'll get you out of this.
580
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:16,800
Oh.
581
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,680
Dear, Mr Holmes, my name is Bainbridge.
582
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,440
I'm a private in
Her Majesty's Household Guard.
583
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,160
I'm writing to you
about a personal matter,
584
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,680
one I don't care to bring
before my superiors,
585
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,440
it would sound so trivial.
586
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,040
But I think someone's stalking me.
587
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,880
I'm used to tourists,
it's part of the job.
588
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,720
But this is different.
589
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,840
Someone's watching me.
590
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,720
He's taking pictures of me every day.
591
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,560
I don't want to mention it
to the manager
592
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,800
but it's really preying on my mind.
593
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,120
Uniform fetishist.
All the nice girls like a soldier.
594
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,560
It's sailor.
595
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,320
And Bainbridge thinks
his stalker is a bloke.
596
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,640
Let's go and investigate.
597
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,480
- Please?
- Elite guard.
598
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,880
Forty enlisted men and officers.
599
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,320
Why this particular grenadier? Curious.
600
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,280
- Now you're talking.
- Okay.
601
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,880
Bye.
602
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,960
Uh, we're just going to...
603
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,080
I need, um, Sherlock to help me
choose some...
604
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,960
- Tie.
- ...socks.
605
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,600
- Why don't we go with socks?
- Yeah.
606
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,680
I mean, you've got to get
the right ones.
607
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,160
Exactly. To go with my...
608
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,400
- Tie.
- ...outfit.
609
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,520
Well, it'll take a while,
right?
610
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,640
- My coat in there?
- Yes.
611
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,520
Just going to take him out for a bit.
612
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,960
- Run him.
- I know.
613
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,080
You said you'd find him a case.
614
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,240
- Coming, Sherlock?
- Coming.
615
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,720
Taxi!
616
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,680
Company, halt!
617
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,400
Right turn!
618
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,320
We're here to see
Private Steven Bainbridge.
619
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,360
He's on duty right now, sir.
620
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,680
I'll certainly let him know
when he's free.
621
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:15,720
And when will that be?
622
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,600
Another hour.
623
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,680
You think
they give them classes?
624
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,760
Classes?
625
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,000
How to resist the temptation
to scratch their behinds.
626
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,400
Afferent neurons
in the peripheral nervous system.
627
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,120
- Bum itch.
- Oh.
628
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,760
So why don't you see him any more?
629
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,520
- Who?
- Your previous commander, Sholto.
630
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,880
- Previous commander?
- I meant ex.
631
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,240
"Previous" suggests that
I currently have a commander.
632
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,720
- Which you don't.
- Which I don't.
633
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,160
Of course you don't.
634
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,360
He was decorated, wasn't he?
635
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,560
- A war hero.
- Not to everyone.
636
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,600
He led a team of crows into battle.
637
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,440
- Crows?
- New recruits.
638
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,600
It's standard procedure,
break the new boys in,
639
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,360
but it went wrong.
640
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,760
They all died.
He was the only survivor.
641
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,240
The press and the families
gave him hell.
642
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,400
He gets more death threats than you.
643
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,120
Oh, I wouldn't count on that.
644
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,200
Why have you suddenly taken an interest
in another human being?
645
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,640
I'm chatting.
646
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,720
Won't be trying that again.
647
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,960
Changing the subject completely...
648
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,160
You know it won't alter anything, right?
Me and Mary getting married.
649
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,360
We'll still be doing all this.
650
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,440
Oh, good.
651
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,840
If you were worried.
652
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,400
I wasn't worried.
653
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,760
The thing about Mary,
654
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,080
she has completely
turned my life around.
655
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,520
Changed everything.
656
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,120
But for the record,
657
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,080
over the last few years, there are
two people who have done that and...
658
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,920
the other one is...
659
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,440
a complete dickhead.
660
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,480
Can I ask what this is
in connection with?
661
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:52,480
Private Bainbridge contacted us
about a personal matter, sir.
662
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,320
Nothing's personal
when it concerns my troops.
663
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,040
- What do you really want?
- I'm here on a legitimate enquiry.
664
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,680
You press?
665
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,280
Digging for some bloody
royal story or something?
666
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,880
No, sir, I'm...
667
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,560
Captain John Watson,
Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers...
668
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,840
Retired.
669
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,280
You could be a used car salesman now,
for all I know.
670
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,640
Bainbridge?
671
00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:19,720
Gentleman here to see you.
672
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,400
Bainbridge!
673
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,560
I know you, don't I?
674
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,280
Hmm?
675
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,880
I've seen you in the papers.
676
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,720
Hanging around with that detective,
the one with the silly hat.
677
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,440
What the hell does Bainbridge want
with a detective?
678
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,200
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say.
679
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,840
You're not at liberty to say?
He's a soldier in my regiment.
680
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,520
I'll be damned if he's going to get up
to cloak-and-dagger nonsense like this.
681
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:55,880
Sir.
682
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:57,880
- Sir.
- What's going on?
683
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,880
It's Bainbridge, sir. He's dead.
684
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,040
My God!
685
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,520
Let me take a look, sir, I'm a doctor.
686
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,720
What?
687
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,960
Sergeant, arrest this man.
688
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,360
What? No, no, I'm a doctor.
689
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,760
Oh, you're a doctor now, too?
690
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,680
- Sergeant.
- Let me examine him, please.
691
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,640
Sir, caught this one snooping around.
692
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,920
Is that what this is all about?
693
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,880
Distracting me so that this man
could get in here and kill Bainbridge?
694
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,480
Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?
695
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,720
- What?
- Where's the weapon?
696
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,240
Go on, search me, no weapon.
697
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,160
Bainbridge was on parade.
He came off duty five minutes ago.
698
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:38,360
When's this supposed to have happened?
699
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,520
You obviously stabbed him
before he got into the shower.
700
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,080
- No.
- No?
701
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,200
He's soaking wet
and there's still shampoo in his hair.
702
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,080
He got into the shower
and then someone stabbed him.
703
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,800
But the cubicle was locked
from the inside, sir.
704
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:48,880
I had to break it open.
705
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,400
Must have climbed over the top.
706
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,120
Well, then I'd be soaking wet, too,
wouldn't I?
707
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,880
Major, please. I'm John Watson,
Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers.
708
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,080
Three years in Afghanistan,
709
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,960
a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand
and Barts bloody Hospital!
710
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,720
Let me examine this body!
711
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,040
Thank you.
712
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,600
- Suicide?
- No.
713
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,480
The weapon again, no knife.
714
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,920
Here we are.
There is a wound to the abdomen.
715
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,400
Incredibly fine.
716
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,680
Man stabbed to death.
717
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,640
No murder weapon.
Door locked from the inside.
718
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,920
Only one way in or out of here.
719
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,200
- Sherlock.
- Mmm?
720
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,080
- He's still breathing.
- Oh, my God.
721
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,480
- What do we do?
- Give me your scarf.
722
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,160
- What?
- Quickly, now.
723
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,040
- Call an ambulance.
- What?
724
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,680
Call an ambulance now!
725
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:42,600
Do it!
726
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,480
Nurse, press here, hard.
727
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,040
- Nurse?
- Yeah, I'm making do.
728
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,800
Keep pressure on that wound.
729
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,120
Steven? Steven, stay with me.
730
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,400
Private Bainbridge had just
come off guard duty.
731
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,480
He'd stood there for hours,
plenty of people watching,
732
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,960
nothing apparently wrong.
733
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,680
He came off duty
and within minutes was nearly dead
734
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,240
from a wound in his stomach
but there was no weapon.
735
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,880
Where did it go?
736
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,840
Ladies and gentlemen,
I invite you to consider this.
737
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,960
A murderer who can walk through walls.
738
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,600
A weapon that can vanish.
739
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,800
But in all of this,
there is only one element
740
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,680
which can be said to be
truly remarkable.
741
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,800
Would anyone like to make a guess?
742
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,880
Come on, come on. There is actually
an element of Q&A to all of this.
743
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,200
Scotland Yard, have you got a theory?
744
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,080
Yeah, you. You're a detective,
broadly speaking. Got a theory?
745
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,760
Er, um...
746
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,760
If the blade
was propelled through the, um...
747
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,920
grating in the air vent...
748
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,360
Maybe a ballista or a catapult,
749
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,520
somebody tiny could crawl in there.
750
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,440
So yeah, we're looking for a dwarf.
751
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,680
- Brilliant.
- Really?
752
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:58,760
No.
753
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,800
- Next.
- He stabbed himself.
754
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,520
Hello, who was that? Tom.
755
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:07,920
Got a theory?
756
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,480
Um, attempted suicide with a blade
made of compacted blood and bone.
757
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,160
Broke after piercing his abdomen,
like a meat...
758
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,760
dagger.
759
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,920
- A meat dagger?
- Yes.
760
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,000
Sit down.
761
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,640
No.
762
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,920
There was one feature
and only one feature of interest
763
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,800
in the whole of this baffling case
764
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,240
and quite frankly, it was the usual.
765
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,400
John Watson.
766
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,560
Who, while I was trying
to solve the murder,
767
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:41,400
instead saved a life.
768
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,760
There are mysteries worth solving
and stories worth telling.
769
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,560
The best and bravest man I know
770
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,520
and on top of that
he actually knows how to do stuff.
771
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,760
Except wedding planning and serviettes,
he's rubbish at those.
772
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,600
The case itself remains
the most ingenious
773
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,880
and brilliantly planned murder
or attempted murder
774
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,160
I've ever had the pleasure to encounter.
775
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,440
The most perfect locked-room mystery
of which I am aware.
776
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,760
However, I'm not just here
to praise John,
777
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,160
I'm also here embarrass him,
so let's move on to some...
778
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,360
No, wait. So how was it done?
779
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,280
- How was what done?
- The stabbing.
780
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,280
I'm afraid I don't know.
781
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,320
I didn't solve that one, that's...
782
00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:23,120
It can happen sometimes. It's very...
Very disappointing.
783
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,040
Embarrassment leads me on
to the stag night.
784
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,920
Course, there's hours of material here,
785
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,960
but I've cut it down
to the really good bits.
786
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,240
Murder scenes.
787
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,480
Locations of murders?
788
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:37,840
Mmm, pub crawl, themed.
789
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,800
Yeah, but why can't you just do
Underground stations?
790
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,000
It lacks the personal touch.
791
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,240
We're going to go for a drink in...
792
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,200
In every street
where you've found a corpse.
793
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,480
Delightful.
794
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,320
- Where do I come in?
- Don't want to get ill.
795
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:49,720
That would ruin it, spoil the mood.
796
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,320
You're a graduate chemist,
can't you just work it out?
797
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,080
I like the practical experience.
798
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,320
Meaning you think I like a drink?
799
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,760
- Occasionally.
- That I'm a drunk?
800
00:43:58,840 --> 00:43:59,880
No. No!
801
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:06,040
You look well.
802
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,520
- I am.
- How's...
803
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,800
Tom?
804
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,880
- Not a sociopath.
- Still? Good.
805
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,680
And we're having quite a lot of sex.
806
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,800
Okay.
807
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,720
I want you to calculate
John's ideal intake and mine
808
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,480
to remain in the sweet spot
the whole evening.
809
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,200
- Lightheaded good.
- Urinating in wardrobes bad.
810
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,560
Hmm.
811
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,480
Two, er, beers, please.
812
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,440
- Pints?
- 443.7 millilitres.
813
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,160
Ah...
814
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,120
- What, we're on a schedule?
- You'll thank me.
815
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,680
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
816
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,400
- Over there.
- What?
817
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,040
Toilets. Any second now, you'll get...
818
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,560
Hang on. Tell me after. I need the loo.
819
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:20,720
Mmm. On schedule.
820
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:22,880
- Eh?
- Nothing. Go.
821
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,200
- How long?
- Sorry?
822
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,560
Your visit.
823
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,960
If you could estimate
approximate volume discharge...
824
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,440
Stop talking now.
825
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:41,560
Oh.
826
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,000
Quick, one more. He mustn't see.
827
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,240
There you go.
828
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:56,600
Cheers.
829
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:00,760
I know Ash!
830
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,160
Don't tell me I don't.
831
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,080
That is enough! That is...
832
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:14,640
Ashton.
833
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,400
I know Ashton!
834
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,040
I have an international reputation.
835
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:29,360
Do you have an international reputation?
836
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,840
No, I don't have
an international reputation.
837
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:32,960
No.
838
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,320
And I can't even remember what for.
839
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:39,440
It's...
840
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,880
crime, something like that.
841
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,400
Oh.
842
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,600
What are you doing back?
I thought you were going to be out late?
843
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,200
Ah, Hudders. What time is it?
844
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,360
You've only been out two hours.
845
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,040
Am I a vegetable?
846
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,320
You or the...
847
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,440
Funny.
848
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,520
- Thank you.
- Come on.
849
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,040
- No, you're not a vegetable.
- It's your go.
850
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,280
Uh...
851
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,640
Am I human?
852
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:25,800
Sometimes.
853
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,600
Can't have sometimes. Has to be, um...
854
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:28,720
Yes, you're human.
855
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,040
Yes, I know. And am I man?
856
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,080
- Yep.
- Tall?
857
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,000
Not as tall as people think.
858
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,440
Hmm. Nice?
859
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,280
- Ish.
- Clever?
860
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,240
- I'd say so.
- You would.
861
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,520
Am I important?
862
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,080
To some people.
863
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,720
Do "people" like me?
864
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,040
Er, no, they don't.
865
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,640
You tend to rub them up the wrong way.
866
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,160
Okay.
867
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:56,920
Am I the current King of England?
868
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,320
We...
869
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,800
You know we don't have a king.
870
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,080
- Don't we?
- No.
871
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,320
Your go.
872
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,320
I don't mind.
873
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,160
Am I a woman?
874
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,480
What?
875
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,040
Yes.
876
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,840
Am I pretty?
877
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,440
This.
878
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,360
Beauty is a construct
based entirely on childhood impressions,
879
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:32,960
influences and role models.
880
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,360
Yeah, but am I a pretty lady?
881
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,360
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who you're supposed to be.
882
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,600
You picked the name!
883
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,280
Yeah, but I picked it
at random from the papers.
884
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,440
You're not really getting the hang
of this game, are you, Sherlock?
885
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,400
So I am human,
I'm not as tall as people think I am.
886
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,840
I'm... I'm nice-ish.
887
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,600
Clever. Important to some people.
888
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,200
But I tend to rub them up
the wrong way.
889
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,600
- Got it.
- Go on, then.
890
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:03,840
I'm you, aren't I?
891
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:05,600
Client!
892
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,880
Client.
893
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,320
- Hello.
- Hello.
894
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:10,400
Come.
895
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,480
Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?
896
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:19,600
I don't a lot.
897
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,720
I mean, I don't
date all that much and...
898
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,480
He seemed nice, you know?
899
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,000
We seemed to automatically connect.
900
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,760
We had one night, dinner.
901
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:38,120
Such interesting conversation,
it was lovely.
902
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,880
To be honest,
903
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,720
I'd love to have gone further
but I thought,
904
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,320
"No, this is special.
905
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,640
Let's take it slowly.
Exchange numbers."
906
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,960
He said he'd get in touch and then...
907
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,840
Maybe he wasn't quite
908
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,440
as keen as I was but I...
909
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,920
I just thought at least he'd call to say
that we were finished.
910
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,360
I went round there.
911
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,160
To his flat. No trace of him.
912
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,360
Mr Holmes, I honestly think
913
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:29,080
I had dinner with a ghost.
914
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:34,560
Mr Holmes?
915
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,560
With a ghost, Mr Holmes!
916
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,560
Boring. Boring. Boring. No!
917
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,200
Fascinating.
918
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,080
John, John, wake up.
919
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,040
Apologise about my, you know...
920
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:54,000
Rude. Rude!
921
00:50:55,600 --> 00:51:00,360
I checked with the landlord
and the man who lived there died.
922
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:02,360
Heart attack.
923
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:07,120
And there we are
having dinner one week on.
924
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,480
And I found this thing online,
925
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,520
sort of chat room thing,
926
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,960
for girls who think they're dating men
from the spirit world.
927
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,080
Don't worry.
I'll find him in 10 minutes.
928
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:21,640
What's your dog's name?
929
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,280
Yeah, I'll be there if you want...
930
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:24,720
John, wake up.
931
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,160
Meant to...
932
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,480
You... The game is something...
933
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,240
- Oh.
- Yeah, that, that.
934
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:33,800
Okay.
935
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,880
Oh, it's nice.
936
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:46,640
Nice place.
937
00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:52,720
- See anything?
- Hmm?
938
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:55,480
Any clues, Mr Holmes?
939
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,560
Oh, er...
940
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,440
I'm just going to whip this out.
941
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,200
Mmm-hmm.
942
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,280
- You all right?
- Hmm?
943
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:39,720
- Yeah, he's clueing.
- What?
944
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,000
He's... Hmm?
945
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,920
He's clueing for looks.
946
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,120
Mr Holmes?
947
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,560
- Mr Holmes?
- I'm calling the police.
948
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,760
Oh, no.
949
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,440
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
950
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:06,760
This is a famous detective.
951
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,520
It's Sherlock Holmes
and his partner, John Hamish Watson.
952
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:10,960
What do you think you're doing?
953
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,280
Don't compromise the integrity of the...
954
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,640
Crime scene.
955
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,200
Yeah, that.
956
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,280
- Wakey, wakey!
- Oh, my God.
957
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:55,880
Greg? Is that Greg?
958
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:57,120
Get up, I'm going to
put you two in a taxi.
959
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,080
Managed to square things
with the desk sergeant.
960
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,600
What a couple of lightweights.
961
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,400
You couldn't even make it
to closing time.
962
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,400
- Can you whisper?
- Not really!
963
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:11,680
Come on.
964
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,560
Well, thanks for, you know,
965
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,600
- an evening.
- It was awful.
966
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,040
- Yep.
- Oh.
967
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,080
I was going to pretend but...
968
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,400
It was, truly.
969
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,560
- That woman Tessa...
- What?
970
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,200
Dated a ghost,
most interesting case for months.
971
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,240
What a wasted opportunity.
972
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:44,320
Okay.
973
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,280
- How are you feeling?
- Mmm.
974
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,640
It's just like old times,
having you back here.
975
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,280
I thought I'd make your favourite.
976
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,200
- One last time.
- Oh.
977
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,640
Don't sound so final about it.
978
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:05,720
I will be visiting, you know.
979
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,200
Oh, I've heard that one before.
980
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:09,280
No, it's different now, though,
isn't it?
981
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,040
It's different to when we thought
we'd lost him.
982
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,480
Well, marriage changes everything, John.
983
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,240
- Does it?
- Yeah.
984
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,400
You might not think it but it does.
985
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,400
It's a different phase in your life.
986
00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:22,400
You meet new people
'cause you're a couple.
987
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:26,280
And then you just
let your old friends slip away.
988
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,240
It won't be like that.
989
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,040
Well, if you've found the right one,
the person that you click with,
990
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,680
it's the best thing in the world.
991
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,520
Well, I have. I know I have.
992
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:36,760
Oh, I'm sure. She's lovely.
993
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,200
Yeah, I think so.
994
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,480
- What about you?
- Me?
995
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,800
Did you think you'd found the right one
when you married Mr Hudson?
996
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,880
No. It was just
a whirlwind thing for us.
997
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,200
I knew it wouldn't work
998
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,240
- but I just got sort of swept along.
- Right.
999
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,280
And then we moved to Florida.
1000
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,080
We had a fantastic time
1001
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,280
but of course, I didn't know
what he was up to.
1002
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,040
- The drugs.
- Drugs?
1003
00:55:58,400 --> 00:55:59,440
He was running, um...
1004
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,440
Oh, God, what do you call it?
1005
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,240
Um, a...
1006
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:04,720
cartel.
1007
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:08,120
- And got in with a really bad crowd.
- Right.
1008
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,600
And then I found out about
all the other women.
1009
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,400
I didn't have a clue.
1010
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,880
So when he was actually arrested
for blowing someone's head off,
1011
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,320
it was quite a relief, to be honest.
1012
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,200
Right.
1013
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:25,920
It was purely physical
between me and Frank.
1014
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:27,840
We couldn't keep
our hands off each other.
1015
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,000
And, um, there was one night...
1016
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,840
Oh, is that Sherlock?
1017
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:33,920
Is it?
1018
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,760
No, it's Sherlock.
1019
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,280
There are going to be others.
1020
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,200
- Others?
- Victims. Women.
1021
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:02,960
Most ghosts tend to haunt
a single house.
1022
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,400
This ghost, however,
is willing to commute. Look.
1023
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,480
Mmm... not you.
1024
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,640
Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1025
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,800
Not you. Not you.
1026
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,880
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1027
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,920
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you.
1028
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,440
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1029
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:48,680
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you.
Not you, you, you or you. Or you.
1030
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,920
Or you. Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you.
1031
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,120
Not you. Not you.
1032
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,160
- Hi.
- Gail.
1033
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,400
Charlotte.
1034
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:14,960
Robyn.
1035
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:19,840
Vicky.
1036
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,640
How did you meet?
1037
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,040
Came up to me in a pub.
1038
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,520
Same gym as me.
1039
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:33,960
We just got chatting on the bus.
1040
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,040
Online.
1041
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:36,840
- Name?
- Told you.
1042
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,000
His name.
1043
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,640
- Oscar.
- Mike.
1044
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,880
Terry.
1045
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,080
Um, Love Monkey.
1046
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,200
- Your place?
- His place.
1047
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,680
Address?
1048
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,320
Nothing happened.
1049
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,120
It was just very romantic.
1050
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,600
Four women in four nights.
He must have something special.
1051
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:01,600
- He was very charming.
- Innocent.
1052
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:02,880
He was sweet.
1053
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:04,560
- He a lovely...
- You okay?
1054
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,000
Let your food go cold.
1055
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,400
Mrs Hudson will play hell.
1056
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:10,960
Not now, John.
1057
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,440
Sorry about that.
1058
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:17,840
He had a lovely manner.
1059
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,600
Different names, different addresses.
1060
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,400
- Describe him.
- Short blond hair.
1061
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,760
Dark hair. Long.
1062
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,480
Ginger. I like gingers.
1063
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:27,600
Couldn't tell.
1064
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,600
He had a mask on.
1065
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,600
He's stealing
the identity of corpses,
1066
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:35,760
getting their names
from the obituary columns.
1067
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:38,040
All single men.
1068
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,640
He's using the dead man's flat
1069
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,320
under the assumption
it'll be empty for a while.
1070
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,600
Free love nest.
1071
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,600
- I feel sick.
- It's gruesome.
1072
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,480
- That's awful.
- Clever.
1073
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:48,560
Bastard.
1074
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,160
Hello, Tessa.
1075
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,240
Meanwhile, back to business.
No one wants to use a dead man's home.
1076
00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:05,080
At least not until it's been cleared,
so he disguises himself,
1077
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,360
steals the man's home,
steals his identity.
1078
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,880
But only for one night.
1079
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,560
- And he's gone.
- He's not a ghost, John.
1080
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,920
He's a mayfly. He lives for a day.
1081
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:19,000
So what was it he was looking for?
1082
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,240
Job?
1083
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:21,440
- Gardener.
- Cook.
1084
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:22,960
- Private nurse.
- I do security work.
1085
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:24,320
Maid.
1086
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,480
Obvious. You all work
for the same person.
1087
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,960
No, no. Not the same employer.
1088
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,680
Damn! Come on, we can do this.
1089
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,560
Ideal night out?
1090
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:49,440
- Clay pigeon shooting.
- Line dancing.
1091
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,720
- Pictures.
- Wine in front of the telly.
1092
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:53,240
Dungeon.
1093
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,120
- Makeup?
- Clarins.
1094
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:58,840
- No7.
- Maybelline.
1095
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,080
- Nothing special.
- Whatever's cheap.
1096
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:02,920
Perfume?
1097
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,480
- Chanel.
- Chanel.
1098
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,240
- Chanel.
- Chanel.
1099
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:07,480
Estée Lauder.
1100
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:09,960
Ideal man?
1101
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,120
- George Clooney.
- Oh, no.
1102
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:13,240
Home-loving.
1103
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:14,600
He'd have to like cuddling.
1104
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:16,240
Caring.
1105
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:17,520
Ten things.
1106
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,600
One, someone who isn't competitive
with other men.
1107
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,840
Two, someone who isn't constantly trying
to define himself by his masculinity.
1108
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,120
There's a unifying factor,
there has to be.
1109
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,760
None of you reported anything stolen.
1110
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,000
Security guard, gardener, cook,
1111
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:37,040
maid, private nurse.
1112
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,560
He's romancing his way
up the pecking order,
1113
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,440
somebody's pecking order.
Come on, think.
1114
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:41,800
Unless...
1115
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,080
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?
1116
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,240
No.
1117
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,400
- Gotcha.
- What do you mean?
1118
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,760
Everyone has secrets
and they all replied too quickly.
1119
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,360
- Got to go.
- See you.
1120
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:53,640
- No, wait.
- Bye-bye.
1121
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,280
Sorry, sexy,
some secrets have to stay secret.
1122
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,160
Enjoy the wedding.
1123
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,320
Yeah.
1124
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,640
Why? Why would he date
all of those women
1125
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:03,920
and not return their calls?
1126
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,240
You're missing the obvious, mate.
1127
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,320
- Am I?
- He's a man.
1128
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,000
Why would he change his identity?
1129
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:11,440
Maybe he's married.
1130
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:14,720
Oh.
1131
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,040
Married.
1132
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:17,880
Obvious, really.
1133
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,040
Our mayfly man was trying to escape
the suffocating chains of domesticity
1134
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:22,760
and instead of endless nights
in watching the telly
1135
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,440
or going to barbeques
with the awful, dreadful,
1136
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:25,800
boring people he couldn't stand,
1137
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,120
he used his wits, cleverness
and powers of disguise
1138
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,200
to play the field.
1139
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,280
He was...
1140
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,560
On second thoughts,
1141
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,600
I probably should have told you
about The Elephant in the Room.
1142
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,200
However, it does help
to further illustrate
1143
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,440
how invaluable John is to me.
1144
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,800
I can read a crime scene
the way he can understand a human being.
1145
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:47,480
I used to think
that's what made me special.
1146
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,880
Quite frankly, I still do.
But a word to the wise.
1147
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,960
Should any of you require
the services of either of us,
1148
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:54,840
I will solve your murder
1149
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,480
but it takes John Watson
to save your life.
1150
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:58,760
Trust me on that. I should know.
1151
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,400
He's saved mine so many times
and in so many ways.
1152
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,200
This blog
1153
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,880
is the story of two men and their
frankly ridiculous adventures.
1154
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,480
Of murder, mystery and mayhem.
1155
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,800
But from now on, there's a new story.
1156
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:21,920
A bigger adventure.
1157
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,440
Ladies and gentlemen,
1158
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,040
pray charge your glasses
and be upstanding.
1159
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,520
Today begin the adventures
of Mary Elizabeth Watson
1160
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,280
and John Hamish Watson.
1161
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,280
The two reasons why every
single one of us is...
1162
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,440
What did you say?
1163
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,880
You said,
1164
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:05,000
"John Hamish Watson."
1165
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,320
You said that, you said Hamish.
1166
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,480
This is a famous detective,
it's Sherlock Holmes
1167
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,600
and his partner, John Hamish Watson.
1168
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,360
How did you know?
1169
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,720
How did you know his middle name?
1170
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,400
Never tells anyone, he hates it.
1171
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:24,960
John H Watson?
1172
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,080
Yep.
1173
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:35,160
- Henry?
- Shut up.
1174
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,840
- Humphrey?
- Shut up.
1175
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,920
- Higgins?
- Go away!
1176
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,000
Took him years to confide in me.
1177
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,320
That's my birth certificate.
1178
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:51,480
Yep.
1179
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:58,240
And the woman, she knew.
1180
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,440
Hamish.
1181
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,080
John Hamish Watson.
1182
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,120
Just if you were
looking for baby names.
1183
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:10,360
God knows where she is.
1184
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,840
Out of my head, I am busy!
1185
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,680
There's only one time
that name's been made public.
1186
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,920
Does it have to be
on the invitation?
1187
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,480
It's your name.
1188
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:26,600
- It's traditional.
- It's funny.
1189
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,320
Enjoy the wedding.
1190
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:36,880
Enjoy the wedding.
1191
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,360
The wedding!
1192
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:39,440
You knew about the wedding.
1193
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,840
More importantly,
you'd seen the wedding invitation.
1194
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:43,840
Now, barely a hundred people
had seen that invitation.
1195
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,880
The Mayfly Man only saw five women.
1196
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:47,480
For one person to be in both groups...
1197
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,120
could be a coincidence.
1198
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,880
Oh, Sherlock.
1199
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,040
What do we say about coincidence?
1200
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,600
The universe is rarely so lazy.
1201
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,680
So, the balance of probability is...
1202
01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:58,760
Someone went to great lengths
1203
01:05:58,840 --> 01:05:59,880
to find out something
about this wedding.
1204
01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:02,800
- What great lengths?
- They lied. Assumed false identities.
1205
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,880
- Which suggests?
- Criminal intent.
1206
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:07,480
- Also suggests...
- Intelligence. Planning.
1207
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,880
Clearly. But more importantly...
1208
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:12,920
The Mayfly Man.
1209
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,360
The Mayfly Man is...
1210
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,320
...here today.
1211
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:18,800
Ooh, sorry, I...
1212
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:22,760
Another glass, sir?
1213
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,040
Thank you, yes. Thank you, yes.
1214
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:27,120
Something is going to happen,
right here.
1215
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:31,320
Now, where were we?
1216
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:32,440
Could be any second.
1217
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,480
You have control of the room.
1218
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,160
Ah, yes, raising glasses
and standing up.
1219
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,200
Very good, thank you.
1220
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:43,640
Don't lose it.
1221
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:45,680
And down again.
1222
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:57,680
Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you
not to milk a good speech.
1223
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,720
Get off early, leave them laughing.
1224
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:05,280
Wise advice I'll certainly
try to bear in mind but for now...
1225
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,320
Part two! Part two is more action-based.
1226
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,720
I'm going to walk around,
shake things up a bit.
1227
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,160
Who'd go to a wedding?
That's the question.
1228
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:20,480
Who would bother to go to any lengths
to get themselves to a wedding?
1229
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,200
Well, everyone.
1230
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,880
Weddings are great! Love a wedding.
1231
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:27,760
- What's he doing?
- Something's wrong.
1232
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,280
And John's great, too.
1233
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,920
I haven't said that enough,
barely scratched the surface.
1234
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:36,840
I could go on all night about
the depth and complexity of his...
1235
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,320
- Jumpers.
- ...jumpers, and he can cook...
1236
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:42,160
Does a thing,
1237
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:45,280
thing with peas... once.
1238
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,000
Might not be peas, might not be him.
1239
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,040
But he's got a great singing voice
or somebody does...
1240
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,640
Too many, too many, too many, too many!
1241
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:55,480
Sorry, too many jokes about John.
1242
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:57,880
Now, uh...
1243
01:07:58,280 --> 01:07:59,360
Criminal intent.
1244
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,080
Where was I? Ah, yes.
1245
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,960
Extraordinary lengths.
1246
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:04,600
Speech! Speech.
1247
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:06,360
Let's talk about...
1248
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,880
All of which is suggestive of...
1249
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:11,480
Murder.
1250
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,120
Sorry, did I say "murder"?
I meant to say "marriage".
1251
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:15,880
But, you know, they're...
1252
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,320
quite similar procedures,
when you think about it,
1253
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:22,600
the participants tend to know each other
and it's over when one of them's dead.
1254
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:24,480
In fairness,
murder is a lot quicker, though.
1255
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,320
Janine, what about this one?
Acceptably hot?
1256
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,960
More importantly, his girlfriend's
wearing brand-new, uncomfortable underwear
1257
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:31,400
and hasn't bothered to pick
this thread off of the top of his jacket
1258
01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:33,160
or point out the grease smudge
on the back of his neck.
1259
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,920
Currently, he's going home alone.
Also, he's a comics and sci-fi geek,
1260
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,120
they're always tremendously grateful
when you put the hours in.
1261
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,520
Geoff, the gents.
1262
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,160
- The loos, now, please.
- Greg.
1263
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:44,240
The loos, please.
1264
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:46,920
- Why?
- Oh, I don't know, maybe it's your turn.
1265
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,120
Yeah, actually, now you mention it...
1266
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:51,960
Sherlock,
any chance of an end date
1267
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,720
for this speech? Gotta cut the cake.
1268
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,240
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,
1269
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:58,680
can't stand it when I finally
get the chance to speak for once,
1270
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,280
- Vatican Cameos.
- What did he say? What does that mean?
1271
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:03,720
Battle stations, someone's going to die.
1272
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:04,920
What?
1273
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:07,120
Narrow it down.
1274
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:09,000
Narrow it down.
1275
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:11,960
Narrow it down.
1276
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:13,800
No!
1277
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:16,400
No! Not you, not you.
1278
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:18,440
You.
1279
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,320
It's always you.
1280
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,600
John Watson, you keep me right.
1281
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:28,000
- What do I do?
- You've already done it.
1282
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:31,160
Don't solve the murder, save the life.
1283
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:33,000
Sorry.
1284
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,240
Off-piste a bit, back now, phew!
1285
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,120
Let's play a game. Let's play Murder.
1286
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,000
Sherlock!
1287
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:44,400
Imagine someone's going to get
murdered at a wedding.
1288
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,720
Who exactly would you pick?
1289
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,920
I think you're a popular choice
at the moment, dear.
1290
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,240
If someone could move Mrs Hudson's glass
just slightly out of reach,
1291
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:51,920
that would be lovely.
1292
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,760
More importantly,
who could you only kill at a wedding?
1293
01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:59,280
Most people you can kill any old place.
1294
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,160
As a mental exercise,
I have often planned
1295
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,760
the murder of friends and colleagues.
1296
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:06,520
Now, John I'd poison.
Sloppy eater, dead easy.
1297
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,120
I've given him chemicals and compounds
that way, he's never even noticed.
1298
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,760
He missed a whole Wednesday once,
didn't have a clue.
1299
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:11,880
Lestrade's so easy to kill,
1300
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,440
it's a miracle no one's
succumbed to the temptation.
1301
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:14,720
I've got a pair of keys
to my brother's house,
1302
01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:16,480
I could easily break in there
and asphyxiate him...
1303
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,040
If the whim arose.
1304
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:20,000
He's pissed, isn't he? Ow!
1305
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:23,920
So, once again,
who could you only kill here?
1306
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:25,640
Clearly, it's a rare opportunity,
1307
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:27,280
so it's someone
who doesn't get out much.
1308
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,040
Someone for whom
a planned social encounter
1309
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,640
known about months in advance
is an exception.
1310
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:33,800
Has to be a unique opportunity.
1311
01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,480
And since killing someone
in public is difficult,
1312
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,440
killing them in private isn't an option.
1313
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:42,640
Someone who lives in an inaccessible
or unknown location, then.
1314
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:44,640
Someone private, perhaps,
1315
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,040
obsessed with personal security...
1316
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,920
Possibly someone under threat.
1317
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:55,800
Major James Sholto, who he?
1318
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,760
- I don't think he's coming.
- He'll be there.
1319
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:59,760
- Where are you living these days?
- Oh,
1320
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,120
way out in the middle of nowhere.
1321
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,280
The press and the family's
giving him hell,
1322
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,600
he gets more death threats than you.
1323
01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:08,680
Oh, a recluse?
1324
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:10,720
Small household staff.
1325
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,840
- Job?
- Gardener, cook, private nurse, maid.
1326
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,720
High turnover for additional security.
1327
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,800
I do security work.
1328
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:17,720
Probably all signed
confidentiality agreements.
1329
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,200
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?
1330
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,200
- No.
- There's another question that remains,
1331
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:22,960
however, rather a big one, a huge one.
1332
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:24,960
How would you do it?
How do you kill someone in public?
1333
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:26,240
There has to be a way.
1334
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:28,520
- This has been planned.
- Mr Holmes, Mr Holmes!
1335
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,920
Oh, hello again, Archie.
What's your theory?
1336
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,720
Get this right and there's
a headless nun in it for you.
1337
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,080
The invisible man could do it.
1338
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:34,520
The who, the what,
the when, the why, the where?
1339
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,960
The invisible man
with the invisible knife,
1340
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,120
the one who tried to kill the guardsman.
1341
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,920
Bainbridge? Bainbridge!
1342
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,120
Oh, not just planned,
planned and rehearsed.
1343
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:13,120
Ladies and gentlemen,
there will now be a short interlude.
1344
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:14,760
To the bride and groom!
1345
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:18,800
To the bride and the groom.
1346
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:20,680
Major Sholto's going to be murdered.
1347
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:22,320
I don't know how or by whom
but it's going to happen.
1348
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:26,080
Excuse me, coming through, consulting.
1349
01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:27,840
- Stay here.
- Please be careful.
1350
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:29,960
Excuse me, coming through.
1351
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,880
Excuse me.
1352
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,760
Sorry, one moment. Oh, I'm so sorry.
1353
01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:38,040
What's happening? What's going on?
1354
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,120
How can you not remember which room?
You remember everything!
1355
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,240
- I have to delete something!
- 207!
1356
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:17,240
Major Sholto?
1357
01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:20,200
Major Sholto!
1358
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:22,080
If someone's about
to make an attempt on my life,
1359
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:24,560
it won't be the first time. I'm ready.
1360
01:13:24,640 --> 01:13:26,320
Major, let us in!
1361
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:27,920
- Kick the door down.
- I really wouldn't.
1362
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,400
I have a gun in my hand
and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes.
1363
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,160
You're not safe in there.
Whoever's after you,
1364
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:35,800
we know that a locked room
doesn't stop him.
1365
01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:37,920
The invisible man
with the invisible knife?
1366
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,400
I don't know how he does it
so I can't stop him
1367
01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:40,560
and that means he'll do it again.
1368
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:41,640
Solve it, then.
1369
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,440
I... I'm sorry?
1370
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:46,640
You're the famous Mr Holmes.
Solve the case, on you go.
1371
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,200
Tell me how he did it
and I'll open the door.
1372
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:53,080
Please, this is no time for games.
Just let us in, you're in danger!
1373
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:54,640
So are you, so long as you're here.
1374
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:56,360
Please, leave me.
1375
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:00,920
Despite my reputation, I really
don't approve of collateral damage.
1376
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:02,840
- Solve it.
- Sorry?
1377
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:04,160
Solve it and he'll open the door,
like he said.
1378
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,760
I couldn't solve it before,
how can I solve it now?
1379
01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,480
- Because it matters now!
- What are you talking about?
1380
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:09,200
What's she talking about?
Get your wife under control.
1381
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:10,320
She's right.
1382
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,720
- Oh, you've changed.
- No, she is. Shut up.
1383
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:15,080
You are not a puzzle solver,
you never have been.
1384
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:17,560
You're a drama queen. Now,
there is a man in there about to die,
1385
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,240
the game is on, solve it!
1386
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:36,400
Bainbridge?
1387
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:40,520
Bainbridge!
1388
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,200
Though, in fairness,
1389
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:45,560
- he's a drama queen, too.
- Yeah, I know.
1390
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:47,720
Major Sholto,
no one's coming to kill you.
1391
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,120
I'm afraid you've already been killed
several hours ago.
1392
01:14:51,480 --> 01:14:53,560
- What did you say?
- Don't take off your belt.
1393
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:55,120
My belt?
1394
01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:56,440
His belt, yes.
1395
01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,640
Bainbridge was stabbed
hours before we even saw him,
1396
01:14:58,720 --> 01:15:00,280
but it was through his belt.
1397
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,960
Tight belt, worn high on the waist.
1398
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:04,000
Very easy to push a small blade
through the fabric,
1399
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,240
and you wouldn't even feel it.
1400
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:07,240
The belt would bind the flesh together
1401
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:08,320
- when it was tight.
- Exactly.
1402
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,360
- And when you took it off...
- Delayed action stabbing.
1403
01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:12,600
All the time in the world
to create an alibi.
1404
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:13,760
Major Sholto!
1405
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:15,120
So...
1406
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,400
I was to be killed by my uniform.
1407
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:22,800
How appropriate.
1408
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:28,840
He solved the case, Major,
you're supposed to open the door now.
1409
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:29,920
A deal is a deal.
1410
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:32,000
I'm not even supposed
to have this any more.
1411
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:34,200
They gave me
special dispensation to keep it.
1412
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:37,000
I couldn't imagine life
out of this uniform,
1413
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,360
I suppose, given the circumstances,
I don't have to.
1414
01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:46,200
When so many want you dead,
it hardly seems good manners to argue.
1415
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:54,600
Whatever you're doing in there, James,
stop it right now.
1416
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:56,120
I will kick this door down.
1417
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:58,640
Mr Holmes,
you and I are similar, I think.
1418
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,160
Yes, I think we are.
1419
01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:02,000
There's a proper time to die,
isn't there?
1420
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,080
Of course there is.
1421
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,280
And one should embrace it when it comes.
1422
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:08,200
Like a soldier.
1423
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,000
Of course one should
but not at John's wedding!
1424
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:16,240
We wouldn't do that,
would we, you and me?
1425
01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:20,600
We would never do that to John Watson.
1426
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,280
- I'm going to break it down.
- Wait, wait, you won't have to.
1427
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:28,440
Hmm?
1428
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:36,880
I believe I am in need
of medical attention.
1429
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,720
I believe I'm your doctor.
1430
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,440
Yeah, pretty good, just...
1431
01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:01,320
- Hold your nerve when you're turning.
- Why do we have to rehearse?
1432
01:17:01,400 --> 01:17:03,840
Because we are about
to dance together in public
1433
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,160
and your skills are appalling.
1434
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:09,000
- Well, you're a good teacher.
- Hmm.
1435
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:10,480
And you're a brilliant dancer.
1436
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,120
- I'll let you in on something, Janine.
- Go on, then.
1437
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,960
- I love dancing. I've always loved it.
- Seriously?
1438
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:18,040
Watch out.
1439
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:23,840
Oh!
1440
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:25,680
That rarely comes up in crime work
1441
01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:27,400
but, you know, I live in hope
of the right case.
1442
01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:29,800
I wish you weren't...
1443
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:33,000
whatever it is you are.
1444
01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:34,920
- I know.
- Well!
1445
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:36,720
Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock,
1446
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,640
what with murderers
running riot at my wedding.
1447
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:41,480
One murder... One nearly murderer.
He loves to exaggerate.
1448
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:42,640
You should try living with him.
1449
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,200
Sherlock.
1450
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:48,120
- Got him for you.
- Ah! The photographer, excellent.
1451
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,400
Thank you. Um, may I have
a look at your camera?
1452
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,800
Uh, what's this about?
I was halfway home.
1453
01:17:55,160 --> 01:17:56,480
You should have driven faster.
1454
01:17:57,480 --> 01:18:00,360
Ah, yes. Yes! Very good!
1455
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,720
There, you see? Perfect.
1456
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,040
What is? You going to tell us?
1457
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:07,760
Try looking yourself.
1458
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,840
Who? For what?
1459
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,680
Is the murderer in these photographs?
1460
01:18:12,760 --> 01:18:15,320
It's not what's in the photographs,
it's what's not in them.
1461
01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:16,520
Not in any of them.
1462
01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:19,800
Sherlock, the showing-off thing,
we've discussed it before.
1463
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:25,640
There is always a man at a wedding
who is not in any photograph,
1464
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:27,400
who can go anywhere,
1465
01:18:27,480 --> 01:18:30,000
even carry an equipment bag
around with him if he likes.
1466
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:32,520
And you never even see his face.
1467
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:33,640
You only ever see...
1468
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:43,640
the camera.
1469
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,040
What are you doing? What is this?
1470
01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,840
Jonathan Small, today's substitute
wedding photographer,
1471
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:50,120
known to us as the Mayfly Man.
1472
01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:54,240
His brother was one of the raw recruits
killed in that incursion.
1473
01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:56,360
Johnny sought revenge on Sholto,
1474
01:18:56,440 --> 01:19:00,040
worked his way through Sholto's staff,
found what he needed.
1475
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,440
An invitation to a wedding.
1476
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:05,200
The one time Sholto would
have to be out in public.
1477
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,080
So, he made his plan
1478
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:09,400
and rehearsed the murder,
1479
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:13,000
making sure of every last detail.
1480
01:19:26,440 --> 01:19:29,440
Brilliant, ruthless
and almost certainly a monomaniac.
1481
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,720
Though, in fairness,
his photographs are actually quite good.
1482
01:19:32,040 --> 01:19:33,320
Everything you need's on that.
1483
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,160
You probably ought to
arrest him or something.
1484
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,560
- Do you always carry handcuffs?
- Down, girl.
1485
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:40,640
Come on, quick.
1486
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:42,840
It's not me you should
be arresting, Mr Holmes.
1487
01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:45,520
Oh, I don't do the arresting,
I just farm that out.
1488
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,600
Sholto, he's the killer, not me.
1489
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:50,120
I should have killed him quicker.
1490
01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:55,040
I shouldn't have tried to be clever.
1491
01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:57,720
You should have driven faster.
1492
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:08,480
Right.
1493
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:13,800
Really?
1494
01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:19,080
Whoo! Yeah!
1495
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:21,680
Whoo!
1496
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:29,320
Ladies and gentlemen,
just one last thing
1497
01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:31,000
before the evening begins properly.
1498
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:34,720
Apologies for earlier,
a crisis arose and was dealt with.
1499
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,880
More importantly, however,
today we saw two people make vows.
1500
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:41,760
I have never made a vow in my life
and after tonight I never will again.
1501
01:21:41,840 --> 01:21:46,280
So, here in front of you all,
my first and last vow.
1502
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:48,520
Mary and John...
1503
01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:52,360
Whatever it takes, whatever happens,
1504
01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:57,880
from now on, I swear
I will always be there, always,
1505
01:21:57,960 --> 01:21:59,720
for all three of you.
1506
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:02,320
Uh, I'm sorry, I mean two of you.
All two of you.
1507
01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,160
Both of you, in fact, I just miscounted.
1508
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:07,720
Anyway, it's time for dancing.
Play the music again, please. Thank you.
1509
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:09,960
Okay everybody, just dance.
Don't be shy.
1510
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,120
- Dancing, please! Very good!
1511
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:14,720
Sorry, that was one more deduction
than I was really expecting.
1512
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:16,520
- Deduction?
- Increased appetite.
1513
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,560
- I'm starving!
- Change of taste perception.
1514
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,840
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful!
1515
01:22:20,920 --> 01:22:23,720
You were sick this morning.
You assumed it was just wedding nerves.
1516
01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:25,720
You got angry with me
when I mentioned it to you.
1517
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:27,320
All the signs are there.
1518
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:28,600
The signs?
1519
01:22:30,080 --> 01:22:32,160
- The signs of three.
- What?
1520
01:22:32,840 --> 01:22:34,840
Mary, I think you should
do a pregnancy test.
1521
01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:39,280
The statistics for
the first trimester are...
1522
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:40,440
Shut up!
1523
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,720
- Just shut up.
- Sorry.
1524
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:47,320
How did he notice before me?
I'm a bloody doctor.
1525
01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:48,760
- It's your day off.
- It's your day off!
1526
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:50,000
- Stop panicking.
- I'm not panicking.
1527
01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,400
I'm pregnant, I'm panicking.
1528
01:22:51,480 --> 01:22:53,440
Don't panic. None of you panic.
1529
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,040
Absolutely no reason to panic.
1530
01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:58,720
- Oh, and you'd know, of course?
- Yes, I would.
1531
01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:00,200
You're already
the best parents in the world,
1532
01:23:00,280 --> 01:23:01,480
look at all the practice you've had.
1533
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:02,560
The practice?
1534
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:03,800
Well, you're hardly going to need
me around
1535
01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:05,720
now that you've got
a real baby on the way.
1536
01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:15,920
- Are you all right?
- Yeah!
1537
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:24,240
- Dance!
- Hmm?
1538
01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:26,400
Both of you now, go, dance.
We can't just stand here,
1539
01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:27,600
people will wonder
what we're talking about.
1540
01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:29,960
- Right.
- What about you?
1541
01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:31,560
Well, we can't all three dance,
there are limits.
1542
01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,800
Yes, there are.
1543
01:23:33,880 --> 01:23:35,200
Come on, husband, let's go.
1544
01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:37,040
- This isn't a waltz, is it?
- No.
1545
01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:38,960
Don't worry, Mary,
I have been tutoring him.
1546
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:40,920
He did, you know.
Baker Street, behind closed curtains.
1547
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:44,400
Mrs Hudson came in one time.
Don't know how those rumours started.
107351
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