All language subtitles for Abbott Elementary - 04x17 - Karaoke.SuccessfulCrab.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,679 Thank you all for participating in this Personality Potluck. 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,037 Especially you. Gregory. 3 00:00:05,062 --> 00:00:06,375 - You're welcome. - Alright, 4 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,485 so now we are going to work together as a team 5 00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:10,636 to match each person to the dish 6 00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:12,662 they brought to represent their personality. 7 00:00:12,687 --> 00:00:15,355 Gregory. Barbara. Jacob. Janine. Me, obviously. 8 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:16,664 Great. Let's eat. 9 00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:18,732 Well, hold on, now. You forgot one. 10 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:20,299 Ah. 11 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,710 Oh, is this Ava? 12 00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:22,937 Why would I cook for y'all? 13 00:00:22,962 --> 00:00:24,491 Are one of you a man that bought me a house? 14 00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:27,059 Well, who does this croquembouche belong to? 15 00:00:29,152 --> 00:00:30,505 Nah. 16 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,804 Yeah. 17 00:00:31,829 --> 00:00:33,429 - Oh. - Alright, Mr. Johnson, 18 00:00:33,454 --> 00:00:34,871 but how does this represent you? 19 00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:37,179 Obviously, it's because he's... because he's bald. 20 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,497 - Ah. - Actually, I studied pastry arts 21 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,921 at Le Cordon Bleu in "Perr-ee." 22 00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:42,617 - Whoa. - Well, I'll be. 23 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:44,328 - Ooh, la, la. - Damn. 24 00:00:44,353 --> 00:00:46,939 I can't believe I actually did learn something about somebody. 25 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,039 - Mm. - Yeah. 26 00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:49,483 - This is a beautiful moment. - Yeah. 27 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,539 Okay, this is cuckoo, but should we all bring it in? 28 00:00:52,564 --> 00:00:54,863 - Ah, let's do it. - Yeah. 29 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,973 Come on. Come on. 30 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,600 - Come here. - Mmmmmm. 31 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,031 Yeah. 32 00:01:01,056 --> 00:01:04,308 I never went to no damn French cooking school. 33 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:10,109 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 34 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,120 Attention, everyone. 35 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,061 Attention, everyone. Barbara needs your attention. 36 00:01:21,086 --> 00:01:23,754 Thank you. I need a final head count for karaoke. 37 00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:24,863 I'll be there. 38 00:01:24,888 --> 00:01:26,346 I like big butts, 39 00:01:26,371 --> 00:01:27,764 but someone out there thinks I'm lying about it, 40 00:01:27,789 --> 00:01:29,280 and I got to set the record straight. 41 00:01:29,305 --> 00:01:30,498 Is it okay if I come late? 42 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,441 I can't miss out on Friday-night surge pricing. 43 00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:34,959 You know, if I got into a rideshare and you were the driver, 44 00:01:34,984 --> 00:01:36,859 well, brother, I'd never get out. 45 00:01:36,884 --> 00:01:38,436 I just hope you don't miss our duet, 46 00:01:38,461 --> 00:01:41,444 'cause I've been practicing my Ja Rule voice all week, baby. 47 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,733 I'm not gonna miss out on the duet, 48 00:01:42,758 --> 00:01:44,311 and I put that on Murder I-N-C. 49 00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:45,587 I love that name. 50 00:01:45,612 --> 00:01:47,983 Well, I'm just excited to finally have a chance to be heard. 51 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,733 You know, Zach used to turn my mic down during duets at home 52 00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:53,217 because he said my voice only worked in theory. 53 00:01:53,242 --> 00:01:56,118 Hey, Barbara, can I bring Erika to karaoke? 54 00:01:56,143 --> 00:01:57,811 She's in need of a pick-me-up. 55 00:01:57,836 --> 00:01:59,586 She and Simon broke up again. 56 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,120 I can't believe you're forcing your friend 57 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,631 to throw it back on a district employee 58 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,182 just so you can get back in their good graces. 59 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,499 That is not what I'm doing. 60 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,717 She's welcome to come. 61 00:02:06,742 --> 00:02:10,350 As long as she does not throw it back, forward, or to the side. 62 00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:11,732 - Mnh-mnh. - She won't. 63 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,233 Ava will you be joining us? 64 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,843 I, the karaoke queen, will not be in attendance. 65 00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:18,161 But before you fret... music joke. 66 00:02:18,186 --> 00:02:19,395 Ooh. 67 00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:20,628 It's because I have a date. 68 00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:23,113 Ooh. Well, I hope he measures up. 69 00:02:23,138 --> 00:02:26,056 - Nice. - I'm sure he'll clear the bar. 70 00:02:26,081 --> 00:02:27,373 Oh. 71 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,207 I bet... I hope he doesn't hit... 72 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,151 I hope he hits all the right notes. 73 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,342 Now, Jacob, that was a bridge too far. 74 00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,435 - Hey! - Hey! 75 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,850 There it is. There it is. 76 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:42,083 Who's the date with? 77 00:02:42,108 --> 00:02:43,553 Melissa, you don't know who it is? 78 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,623 Who? 79 00:02:44,648 --> 00:02:46,683 It's O'Sho-o-o-o-o-n. 80 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:49,085 - Ooh. - Mm-hmm. 81 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,717 - Now, that's a man. - Oh. 82 00:02:51,742 --> 00:02:55,453 Yes. Fine for no reason. 83 00:02:55,478 --> 00:02:57,084 Yes, he is. 84 00:02:57,897 --> 00:03:00,781 - Oh, wow. - Ooh, very fancy. 85 00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:01,889 Yeah. Look at this. 86 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,058 - Mm-hmm. - Hey. 87 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,084 Where you guys been? 88 00:03:05,109 --> 00:03:07,735 I've already done every Fleetwood Mac song they've got. 89 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:08,927 Fleetwood Mac? I don't think 90 00:03:08,952 --> 00:03:10,619 that's in your register, Mr. Johnson. 91 00:03:10,644 --> 00:03:13,385 Mnh-mnh. Yeah, you're more of a Macy Gray kind of range. 92 00:03:13,409 --> 00:03:14,491 Girl. 93 00:03:14,516 --> 00:03:17,560 I'll tell you two just like I told Quincy Jones. 94 00:03:17,585 --> 00:03:20,670 Mr. Johnson sings, or Mr. Johnson walks. 95 00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:22,362 - Okay. - Alright. 96 00:03:22,387 --> 00:03:23,631 - Let's do it. - They're here already. 97 00:03:23,656 --> 00:03:24,866 That's great. 98 00:03:25,818 --> 00:03:28,225 Oh, why don't you go say hi? 99 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,626 He's a little cutie patootie. 100 00:03:30,671 --> 00:03:32,797 Cuties are everywhere. 101 00:03:32,822 --> 00:03:33,980 It's gonna take a lot more than being 102 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,678 the cutest cutie to ever patoot 103 00:03:35,703 --> 00:03:37,537 to turn the head of ol' Jacob Hill. 104 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,593 Okay. 105 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,647 Wow. 106 00:03:40,672 --> 00:03:42,506 Then why is your neck on owl mode right now? 107 00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,825 It's because I'm... I'm actually checking out... 108 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,059 - Oh, okay. - Hey, girl. 109 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,644 Hey, Erika. 110 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:49,764 And Simon. 111 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,398 What... What's... What's he doing here? Hey. 112 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,209 Worshiping the ground I walk on, of course. 113 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,651 - Hey, Janine. - What's up? 114 00:03:55,676 --> 00:03:56,819 Why don't you go talk to Jacob? 115 00:03:56,844 --> 00:03:58,553 Whatever you say, E-baby. 116 00:03:58,578 --> 00:04:02,080 Mm. Mm. You're so nasty. 117 00:04:02,105 --> 00:04:04,565 Very nasty. I thought he broke up with you. 118 00:04:04,590 --> 00:04:06,007 Broke up with me? 119 00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:07,600 Does that even sound right to you? 120 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,459 I love it when you guys are together. 121 00:04:09,484 --> 00:04:11,026 It's kind of fun but dangerous, 122 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,811 like walking backwards. 123 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,889 So how long are you staying together this time? 124 00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:16,248 You asking a lot of questions about me and my man, 125 00:04:16,273 --> 00:04:17,936 but where is yours? 126 00:04:17,961 --> 00:04:19,584 He still built like a Lego? 127 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,944 Oh, hey. How you doing? 128 00:04:23,969 --> 00:04:27,847 I'm Gregory, and I'll be your driver for the next 13 minutes. 129 00:04:28,111 --> 00:04:30,905 Please buckle up, and help yourself to any of the drinks 130 00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:32,459 and assorted snacks. 131 00:04:32,484 --> 00:04:35,655 I also have every kind of phone charger, 132 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,472 and if you feast your eyes on the tablet attached 133 00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:39,874 to the back of the headrest, you'll find my latest addition, 134 00:04:39,899 --> 00:04:41,524 Gregory's Goofy Games. 135 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:45,284 Okay, enough practice. Time for the real thing. 136 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,295 Let's go. 137 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,209 Oh, hey. How you doing? 138 00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:51,600 I'm Gregory. 139 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,041 I'll sit here. 140 00:04:53,066 --> 00:04:54,067 Oh, I got you. 141 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,331 In case someone hotter walks by. 142 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,133 Thank you. 143 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,718 Have you been here before? 144 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,554 No, but it seems up to my standards. 145 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,741 I'm gonna go ahead and let my girl know 146 00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:09,268 she doesn't have to pretend she's going into labor. 147 00:05:09,293 --> 00:05:11,085 I've been hesitant to come here. 148 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,945 It's kind of a sore spot since it replaced 149 00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:14,405 one of my favorite restaurants. 150 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,420 That old diner was one of your favorite restaurants? 151 00:05:16,445 --> 00:05:18,335 Well, for the nostalgia, not for the food. 152 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,803 It was where my parents would take me 153 00:05:19,828 --> 00:05:21,537 whenever I got a good report card. 154 00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:23,271 Oh, you had to get good grades just to eat? 155 00:05:23,296 --> 00:05:24,922 Sad. 156 00:05:24,947 --> 00:05:27,993 Nah, nah, if that was the case, I wouldn't have eaten very often. 157 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,202 I was not a great student. 158 00:05:30,227 --> 00:05:31,519 A bad boy. 159 00:05:31,544 --> 00:05:33,503 Or a dumb boy. Both? 160 00:05:33,528 --> 00:05:35,279 Neither now. 161 00:05:35,304 --> 00:05:36,311 Damn. 162 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,045 Yeah. 163 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,272 What about you, though? 164 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,216 Did your family go out to eat a lot when you were growing up? 165 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:44,951 You're not supposed to ask people if they grew up rich. 166 00:05:44,976 --> 00:05:46,935 But if you're worried I don't know what MP means. 167 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,422 I do, and those are the only things I'll be ordering. 168 00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:57,627 ♪ I fou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-nd ♪ 169 00:05:57,652 --> 00:06:01,488 ♪ Lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve ♪ 170 00:06:01,513 --> 00:06:05,516 ♪ Never knew what I was missin' ♪ 171 00:06:05,541 --> 00:06:07,133 ♪ But I knew once we start kissin' ♪ 172 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,426 How are they still attracted to one another 173 00:06:09,451 --> 00:06:12,077 - after hearing each other sing? - Barb. 174 00:06:12,102 --> 00:06:14,896 If Gerald even burps off key, hm, 175 00:06:14,921 --> 00:06:16,797 I'm not looking at him for a week. 176 00:06:16,822 --> 00:06:19,615 Hey, Mr. Johnson, all these songs are in Korean. 177 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,058 I know that. I'm BTS ARMY. 178 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:23,292 What are you gonna sing, Melissa? 179 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,234 That is a question for the me 180 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,678 that is living three drinks in the future, my friend. 181 00:06:27,703 --> 00:06:28,911 I will get us a pitcher. 182 00:06:28,936 --> 00:06:30,979 ♪ Lo-o-o-o-ve ♪ 183 00:06:31,004 --> 00:06:33,797 Oh, no, no, no, no. 184 00:06:33,822 --> 00:06:35,781 Hi. Could I please get a... 185 00:06:35,806 --> 00:06:39,060 Whew! 186 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,111 No, no. No. 187 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,654 Come. Come on. 188 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,740 Whoo! The stripper's here! 189 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,242 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 190 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,286 Not... Not... Not a... Not a stripper. Um, my... my ex is here. 191 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,204 I need to just, uh, hide out for a beat. 192 00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:03,637 ♪ It's hard out here for a pimp ♪ 193 00:07:03,662 --> 00:07:06,497 ♪ When he's tryin' to get this money for the rent ♪ ♪ For the rent ♪ 194 00:07:06,522 --> 00:07:09,065 ♪ For the Cadillac and gas money spent ♪ 195 00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:11,676 ♪ Who have a whole lot of bitches jumpin' ship ♪ 196 00:07:11,701 --> 00:07:13,535 I don't care what it's about. 197 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,895 - ♪ It's hard out here for a pimp ♪ - Janine. Janine. 198 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,357 Janine. 199 00:07:18,382 --> 00:07:20,675 ♪ For the Cadillac and gas money spent ♪ 200 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,310 Hey, you forgot the beer. 201 00:07:22,335 --> 00:07:24,450 And where are all the worship songs? 202 00:07:24,475 --> 00:07:26,716 I was promised the BeBes and the CeCes. 203 00:07:26,741 --> 00:07:27,964 I saw my ex. 204 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,156 Avi? 205 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,646 - Zach. - I like Zach. 206 00:07:30,671 --> 00:07:32,135 He's out there with a new gentleman caller. 207 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,224 Name unknown. 208 00:07:33,249 --> 00:07:34,864 Okay, so I thought the two yous were cool. 209 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,539 Hey, it's not like you haven't seen each other since the breakup. 210 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,435 Ah, you're right, I don't... I don't know why I panicked. 211 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,061 Just go on out there and say hello. 212 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,336 - Yeah, I'm gonna. - Okay. 213 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,545 Um, save my place in the queue. 214 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:47,132 Okay. Get the pitcher first. 215 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,567 So, what do you think so far? 216 00:07:48,592 --> 00:07:51,302 Not to be rude-o, but I hated the crudo. 217 00:07:53,269 --> 00:07:54,853 - You know... - Mm? 218 00:07:54,878 --> 00:07:56,171 you giggle a lot for a man. 219 00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:00,038 I just like to show when I'm having a good time. 220 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,355 Mm. 221 00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:15,080 I don't get a lot of chances to practice my Japanese. 222 00:08:15,105 --> 00:08:17,208 Good thing we came to this Japanese restaurant. 223 00:08:17,233 --> 00:08:19,401 Touché. 224 00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:21,646 Wow. Now he's speaking French. 225 00:08:21,671 --> 00:08:24,629 This man is turning into a Rosetta Stone right before my very eyes. 226 00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:28,606 Uh, do you speak any other languages? 227 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,467 Just the universal one. 228 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,927 Love? 229 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,911 That's hilarious. Money. 230 00:08:33,936 --> 00:08:35,573 You know, if you want to get some more practice, 231 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,372 you can order us some sake. 232 00:08:37,397 --> 00:08:39,452 Japanese word for that is "sake." 233 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,440 ♪ I never would have made it ♪ 234 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,234 ♪ Never would have made it ♪ 235 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,863 ♪ No, I never, I never could have made it ♪ 236 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,866 ♪ Never could have made it ♪ 237 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,659 ♪ Without you ♪ 238 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,537 - Wow. - Yeah! Oh, my God. 239 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,123 Hallelujah. Yes. 240 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,459 Why is anybody else wasting their time? 241 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,045 It should just be you and me all night, Barb. 242 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,435 - Oh, thank you friend. - Yeah 243 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:10,045 I can't wait to hear what you're cooking up. 244 00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:12,154 Okay, well, one more drink, and I'll be in the zone. 245 00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:13,304 Alright. Have mine. 246 00:09:13,329 --> 00:09:14,413 Oh, my gosh. Appreciate you guys 247 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:15,661 for helping Barbara out like that. 248 00:09:15,686 --> 00:09:17,942 She made us sing that song because she said we needed Jesus. 249 00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:19,426 - And we do. - Oh. 250 00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:21,827 - Janine, you're up. - Oh, uh, I am not ready yet 251 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,888 'cause... 'cause Gregory and I are doing a duet, so... 252 00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:25,200 You mean you and that Gregory? 253 00:09:25,225 --> 00:09:26,601 Oh, he... 254 00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:28,501 Got yo ass. 255 00:09:31,335 --> 00:09:33,670 Ah-ha-ha. I'm sure he's almost here. 256 00:09:33,695 --> 00:09:35,779 - I'm gonna go check. - Okay, girl. 257 00:09:35,804 --> 00:09:37,430 Hello? 258 00:09:37,455 --> 00:09:39,989 Hey, so no pressure, but I've already moved our names 259 00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,802 to the bottom of the queue like twice now. 260 00:09:41,827 --> 00:09:43,388 Uh, yeah. Okay, I'm just picking up 261 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:45,831 one more ride, and then I'm there. 262 00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,565 Alright, well, please hurry, 263 00:09:47,590 --> 00:09:48,965 But don't speed. 264 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:50,130 I can't wait. 265 00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:51,900 But there's always time to make a safe choice. 266 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,286 So excited to see you. 267 00:09:53,311 --> 00:09:55,286 In however long it takes. 268 00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:56,404 For Leonard. 269 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,888 - Uh, yep. - Ah. 270 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,223 Uh, Janine, I gotta go. 271 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,380 Oh, totally. Alright, well, 272 00:10:00,405 --> 00:10:02,364 if you're rider gets strange or aggressive, 273 00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:03,723 just give me a call. 274 00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:04,997 People get weird at night. 275 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,606 - Love you. - Alright. Love you, too. 276 00:10:06,631 --> 00:10:07,882 Love you three. 277 00:10:11,899 --> 00:10:13,650 Ah. 278 00:10:13,675 --> 00:10:15,009 Oh, it's all happening. 279 00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:22,511 - What are you doing here? - Hi. 280 00:10:22,536 --> 00:10:25,163 Um, Barbara won a raffle 281 00:10:25,188 --> 00:10:27,898 for, like, a free karaoke room, so... what about you? 282 00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:30,396 We're celebrating the opening night of my one-man show, 283 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,825 - "Got Out." - Oh. Oh, you changed the title. 284 00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:35,226 Yeah, writing about you actually broke down some walls 285 00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:36,793 for me creatively. 286 00:10:36,818 --> 00:10:38,444 But what about you? What are you up to? 287 00:10:38,469 --> 00:10:42,347 Mm. Well, um, Melissa got a guinea pig. 288 00:10:42,372 --> 00:10:44,599 That's... cool. 289 00:10:44,624 --> 00:10:46,079 You know, I'm near you guys now. 290 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,528 I just moved to Northern Liberties. 291 00:10:47,553 --> 00:10:49,200 Zach, what the hell? 292 00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:51,435 That's been your dream neighborhood for, like, ever. 293 00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,503 I know. I'm really going after what I want. 294 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,070 It feels good. 295 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,286 Oh. 296 00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:58,187 Well... Well, good. 297 00:10:58,216 --> 00:10:59,841 Zach... 298 00:10:59,842 --> 00:11:02,135 You're up. Come on. Our song. 299 00:11:02,136 --> 00:11:04,638 I don't need the lyrics. 300 00:11:04,639 --> 00:11:08,266 ♪ He-e-e-ey, hey ♪ 301 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:12,396 ♪ Every single day I walk down the street ♪ 302 00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:16,483 ♪ I hear people say, "Baby, so sweet" ♪ 303 00:11:16,484 --> 00:11:19,361 ♪ And don't lose your mind ♪ 304 00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:21,113 Dessert menu? 305 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,323 - Mm. - Yes, please. 306 00:11:24,062 --> 00:11:25,729 Domo. 307 00:11:25,754 --> 00:11:29,298 So, yeah, those are my top five roller coasters, 308 00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:33,334 but I'm more of a immersive motion simulator kind of guy. 309 00:11:34,585 --> 00:11:36,545 Do you have a... Do you have a favorite? 310 00:11:36,546 --> 00:11:37,927 A favorite what? 311 00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:39,571 Thing I never wanted to talk about tonight? 312 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,095 Um, excuse me. 313 00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:47,681 C-Could we just get the check, actually? 314 00:11:47,682 --> 00:11:49,950 Oh, so you just decided I didn't want the matcha cheesecake? 315 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,995 Nah, I just didn't want to waste any more of your time 316 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:54,021 since this is going so poorly. 317 00:11:54,022 --> 00:11:56,153 Why would you say that? 318 00:11:56,178 --> 00:11:58,459 Uh, because of basically everything 319 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,825 that you said over the course of this date. 320 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,893 Been making fun of me the whole night. 321 00:12:02,918 --> 00:12:06,879 But... that's kind of been our thing. 322 00:12:06,904 --> 00:12:08,905 Would've been nice to build on that rapport, 323 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:11,389 to actually, I don't know, 324 00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:13,290 learn something about each other. 325 00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:16,794 Learn what? I'm perfect. You're obsessed with me. 326 00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:20,263 Domo. 327 00:12:22,899 --> 00:12:25,150 How long do you think it'll be until you get here? 328 00:12:25,175 --> 00:12:27,218 Um, it should be about... 329 00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:29,244 - Whoa. - What? 330 00:12:29,269 --> 00:12:32,059 It's just surge pricing is the highest I've ever seen it right now. 331 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:33,894 A fare to Jersey just came in, 332 00:12:33,895 --> 00:12:35,353 and it'd pay for like a fifth of my rent. 333 00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:36,442 Oh. 334 00:12:37,271 --> 00:12:39,083 Would it be the worst thing in the world 335 00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:41,177 if I didn't make it tonight? 336 00:12:42,070 --> 00:12:44,071 Oh, um... 337 00:12:44,072 --> 00:12:45,401 You know what? No. Never mind. 338 00:12:45,426 --> 00:12:47,472 I'll just, um... I shouldn't have even asked. 339 00:12:47,497 --> 00:12:49,790 I'll just pass on the ride, and I'll be there in 10. 340 00:12:49,815 --> 00:12:51,607 No, Gregory, don't do that. 341 00:12:51,632 --> 00:12:55,510 You gotta take it. Took a second job to make money. 342 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,250 Make the money. 343 00:12:57,251 --> 00:12:59,544 Thank you for understanding. 344 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,630 I'll, um... 345 00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:03,340 I promise I'll make it up to you. 346 00:13:03,341 --> 00:13:04,842 Okay. 347 00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:10,263 It's about time, Jacob. You're up. 348 00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:11,640 Oh, okay. Hold on. 349 00:13:11,641 --> 00:13:13,526 Just want to, uh, switch my song real quick. 350 00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:14,839 How'd things go with Zach? 351 00:13:14,864 --> 00:13:16,913 Went great. He looks great. Sounds great. 352 00:13:16,938 --> 00:13:19,397 Overall, just, uh... just great. 353 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:21,191 He better not sing anything ironic. 354 00:13:21,192 --> 00:13:23,526 And he certainly better not sing "Ironic." 355 00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:25,177 Yeah, well, you know, I love the boy, 356 00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:28,579 but he's always pitchy, and he refuses to use his diaphragm. 357 00:13:28,604 --> 00:13:31,022 ♪ Cut my life into pieces ♪ 358 00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:32,840 ♪ This is my last resort ♪ 359 00:13:32,865 --> 00:13:33,990 Let's go! 360 00:13:34,015 --> 00:13:36,331 ♪ Suffocation, no breathing ♪ 361 00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,982 ♪ Don't give a [BLEEP] if I cut my arm bleeding ♪ 362 00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:44,579 ♪ This is my last resort ♪ 363 00:13:51,055 --> 00:13:53,823 Jacob, 364 00:13:53,848 --> 00:13:55,140 I know you said you're okay, 365 00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:58,083 but the songs you have in the queue, 366 00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:00,234 they sound quite alarming. Mm. 367 00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:03,178 Is this because, uh, Zach's got a new guy? 368 00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:05,287 No, he's a... he's a serial monogamist. 369 00:14:05,319 --> 00:14:06,903 That was inevitable. 370 00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:09,114 It's just that Zach has, like, done so much 371 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,887 since we broke up, you know? 372 00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:12,583 - He's gotten back into theater. - Yep. 373 00:14:12,608 --> 00:14:15,235 He's got his dream apartment, new friends. 374 00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:17,887 I didn't recognize anybody in his karaoke room. 375 00:14:17,912 --> 00:14:19,788 You know, he's, like, moving forward, 376 00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:22,628 and I just... I don't know, I feel stuck. 377 00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:27,173 This is the part 378 00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:29,833 where you tell me I'm doing great, and I'm overreacting. 379 00:14:29,858 --> 00:14:33,068 Sometimes the best thing that you can do for someone 380 00:14:33,093 --> 00:14:35,428 is just be a mirror. 381 00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,923 But, hey, look, I-I... I helped RJ get into golf. 382 00:14:37,947 --> 00:14:38,972 Yeah. 383 00:14:38,997 --> 00:14:41,129 You know, I got the school a counselor, so... 384 00:14:41,153 --> 00:14:45,233 You did, and those are amazing professional wins, 385 00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:48,653 but, sweetheart, there's more to life than work. 386 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,780 Mm-hmm. Maybe it's time 387 00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:52,490 for you to start looking for whatever 388 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,576 your dream apartment is. 389 00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:57,871 Hey, you might even think about looking for something deeper 390 00:14:57,872 --> 00:15:00,081 - in your dating life. - Hm. 391 00:15:00,082 --> 00:15:02,918 Hey, can't be that hard with your Drillr app and everything. 392 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,986 So Ava just texted. 393 00:15:05,011 --> 00:15:06,464 Turns out she's gonna come after all. 394 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,817 Great. 395 00:15:07,842 --> 00:15:10,318 I can't believe you are not letting me choose a song. 396 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,135 Well, I can't believe you bought another condo 397 00:15:12,136 --> 00:15:13,595 when you can barely take me out on dates. 398 00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:14,721 It has an outdoor pool. 399 00:15:14,722 --> 00:15:16,264 We live in Philadelphia. 400 00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:18,099 And it's like, if I'm driving to make money 401 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,393 so I'm not stressed about going out, 402 00:15:20,394 --> 00:15:22,747 but then I'm missing that when I'm driving, 403 00:15:22,772 --> 00:15:24,064 then, like, what's the point? 404 00:15:24,065 --> 00:15:26,107 It's... It's like I'm going in circles. 405 00:15:26,108 --> 00:15:28,193 But you are going the right way, right? 406 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,819 I meant it metaphorically. 407 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:35,629 Dang. Surge pricing's five times the normal fare? 408 00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:41,791 You gonna accept that ride or what? 409 00:15:46,832 --> 00:15:48,272 Moira F. is five minutes away. 410 00:15:48,297 --> 00:15:49,536 You don't have to wait with me. 411 00:15:49,561 --> 00:15:51,387 'Course I'm gonna wait with you. 412 00:15:55,012 --> 00:15:56,805 My family used to go out to eat 413 00:15:56,806 --> 00:15:59,224 at chain restaurants all the time. 414 00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,935 It was like my dad's favorite thing to do. 415 00:16:01,936 --> 00:16:03,436 But he has the worst taste. 416 00:16:03,437 --> 00:16:05,271 I kind of like chain restaurants. 417 00:16:05,272 --> 00:16:06,653 Me, too. 418 00:16:06,678 --> 00:16:09,176 But I was talking about his taste in women. 419 00:16:10,486 --> 00:16:12,862 He started a second family with a waitress 420 00:16:12,863 --> 00:16:14,906 at one of those restaurants, 421 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:18,911 and queso dips are very triggering for me now. 422 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,915 Thank you for telling me that. 423 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,251 I don't really like queso dip anyways, 424 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,421 so it won't be hard to avoid on our next date. 425 00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:34,277 This date doesn't have to end right now. 426 00:16:34,301 --> 00:16:36,161 I was invited to karaoke tonight. 427 00:16:36,186 --> 00:16:38,406 I wasn't planning on gracing it with my talents, 428 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,641 but you want to go with me? 429 00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:43,269 I'm down. 430 00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:53,486 - Go ahead. - No, no. 431 00:16:53,487 --> 00:16:56,031 I don't want to hurt your feelings. I know you're sensitive. 432 00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,491 I ain't sensitive. I ain't sensitive. Go ahead. Make your little joke. 433 00:16:58,492 --> 00:17:01,828 What divorced lesbian did you steal this Subaru from? 434 00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:02,996 Get in my car. 435 00:17:02,997 --> 00:17:04,873 ♪ Way up high ♪ 436 00:17:04,874 --> 00:17:07,125 ♪ Or down low ♪ 437 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:10,754 ♪ I'll go wherever you will ♪ 438 00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:16,009 ♪ Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪ 439 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,261 - Unh! - Yes. 440 00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,346 She's, like, your best friend, right? 441 00:17:20,347 --> 00:17:22,724 What are you talking about? She sounds just like him. 442 00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:24,934 - I crushed it. - Whoa. Okay. 443 00:17:24,935 --> 00:17:27,312 - Alright. I guess it's me. - Oh. 444 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:28,938 - Whoo! - Go, Janine. 445 00:17:28,939 --> 00:17:30,190 - Come on, baby. - What's up, guys? 446 00:17:30,191 --> 00:17:32,317 - That was great, Melissa. - Thank you. 447 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:34,152 Um, as you guys know, Gregory was supposed to be here, 448 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,606 but he couldn't make it. 449 00:17:35,631 --> 00:17:37,673 But it's okay, because, in his honor, 450 00:17:37,698 --> 00:17:39,574 I'm gonna do both parts of the duet. 451 00:17:39,575 --> 00:17:41,618 - Okay. - Which, um, shouldn't be hard. 452 00:17:41,619 --> 00:17:42,879 Done it before. 453 00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:44,430 I was a very lonely "High School Musical" fan. 454 00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:45,872 So here we go. 455 00:17:45,873 --> 00:17:47,165 Okay. 456 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,210 ♪ I'm not always there when you call ♪ 457 00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:52,670 ♪ But I'm always on time ♪ 458 00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:55,256 ♪ Gave you my all ♪ 459 00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:56,841 - ♪ Now, baby, come on ♪ - ♪ Come on ♪ 460 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,302 ♪ Give me a piece of this late-night lover, you know ♪ 461 00:17:59,303 --> 00:18:01,596 ♪ The one that save kids like no other ♪ 462 00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:03,973 ♪ I know I got a lot of things I need to explain ♪ 463 00:18:03,974 --> 00:18:05,073 ♪ But, baby, you know the name ♪ 464 00:18:05,098 --> 00:18:06,518 ♪ And love is about pain ♪ 465 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,020 ♪ So stop the complaints, and drop the order restraints ♪ 466 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,397 ♪ My sex life is a game, so back me down in the paint ♪ 467 00:18:11,398 --> 00:18:13,358 ♪ And I can't wait no more ♪ 468 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,609 ♪ 'Cause it's about a quarter past 3:00 ♪ 469 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,778 ♪ And shorty's eyein' me ♪ 470 00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:18,286 ♪ I got the Bentley valeted ♪ 471 00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:20,281 Bill? 472 00:18:20,282 --> 00:18:21,866 Elijah. 473 00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,035 Hi, Elijah. I'm Jacob. 474 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,895 Hi, Jacob. 475 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,880 That was really risky. I'm not gonna lie. 476 00:18:28,905 --> 00:18:31,198 I'm so glad that worked. 477 00:18:31,223 --> 00:18:32,682 What were you gonna do if it didn't? 478 00:18:32,707 --> 00:18:34,541 Probably say, "Hey, I'm Jacob, 479 00:18:34,566 --> 00:18:36,275 the guy you forgot to hit on earlier." 480 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:37,384 That's also pretty good. 481 00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:38,606 Thank you. 482 00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:41,594 What brings you to karaoke? 483 00:18:41,595 --> 00:18:43,596 It is my friend's birthday, 484 00:18:43,597 --> 00:18:46,058 and I volunteered to get the drinks because I hate singing. 485 00:18:49,442 --> 00:18:51,109 Do you think I could get your number? 486 00:18:51,134 --> 00:18:52,442 For sure. 487 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,676 I'm gonna put it in as Bill. 488 00:18:57,987 --> 00:18:59,737 There you go. 489 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:00,947 Alright. 490 00:19:00,948 --> 00:19:02,824 - See you, Jacob. - Yeah. 491 00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:06,254 - What's up, man? - Okay, Jacob, I see you. 492 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,613 Uh, come on. I'll, uh, show you where the room is. 493 00:19:08,638 --> 00:19:10,848 Ava, it's so great to see you. 494 00:19:10,873 --> 00:19:12,749 I want you to meet my new boyfriend. 495 00:19:12,774 --> 00:19:15,359 - White? - It's actually pronounced Wyatt. 496 00:19:15,384 --> 00:19:17,520 Right. 497 00:19:17,545 --> 00:19:19,598 You're talking about how I'm looking around at everyone. 498 00:19:19,623 --> 00:19:21,270 - I'm looking around... - I see you. 499 00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:22,695 - Oh, wow. - Hey. 500 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,095 - Hey. - Hey. 501 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,817 - There they are. - Finally. 502 00:19:25,842 --> 00:19:27,677 - How did it go? - He's here, ain't he? 503 00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:29,202 We got time for one more song. 504 00:19:29,227 --> 00:19:30,561 Ava, you choose. 505 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,669 You never let me be me. 506 00:19:31,694 --> 00:19:32,986 You literally never let me be me. 507 00:19:33,011 --> 00:19:34,136 - Help me pick. - What are you even doing? 508 00:19:34,231 --> 00:19:35,398 You know what? I'm not. I'm done. 509 00:19:35,399 --> 00:19:37,817 I am done. I'm out. Mnh-mnh. 510 00:19:37,818 --> 00:19:40,069 Nope. 511 00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:41,738 - Ugh. - Yep, just, uh... 512 00:19:41,739 --> 00:19:43,448 Ooh. 513 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,122 I appreciate you, bro. 514 00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:46,802 They've got the wrong idea about you at the district. 515 00:19:48,092 --> 00:19:50,385 They got "No More Drama" by Mary J. on there? 516 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:52,870 ♪ What would you do if your son was at home ♪ 517 00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:55,146 ♪ Cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor ♪ 518 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,587 ♪ 'Cause he's hungry, and the only way to feed him ♪ 519 00:19:57,588 --> 00:19:59,839 ♪ Is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money ♪ 520 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,466 ♪ And his daddy's gone ♪ 521 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,927 ♪ Somewhere smokin' rock now, in and out of lockdown ♪ 522 00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:06,262 ♪ I ain't got a job now ♪ 523 00:20:06,263 --> 00:20:07,597 ♪ So for you this is just a good time ♪ ♪ Oh, no, not a long time ♪ 524 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:09,807 ♪ But for me this is what I call life ♪ 525 00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:13,102 ♪ Mm, girl, you ain't the only one with a baby ♪ 526 00:20:13,103 --> 00:20:16,043 Yeah, there's some things you just can't put a price on. 527 00:20:16,068 --> 00:20:18,319 ♪ What would you do if your son was at home ♪ 528 00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,595 ♪ Cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor ♪ 529 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,164 ♪ 'Cause he's hungry, and the only way to feed him ♪ 530 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,315 ♪ Is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money ♪ 531 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,466 ♪ And his daddy's gone ♪ 532 00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:29,826 ♪ Somewhere smokin' rock now, in and out of lockdown ♪ 533 00:20:29,954 --> 00:20:31,371 ♪ I ain't got a job now ♪ 534 00:20:31,372 --> 00:20:33,456 ♪ So for you this is just a good time ♪ 535 00:20:33,457 --> 00:20:35,416 ♪ But for me this is what I call life ♪ 536 00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:36,876 Hey! 537 00:20:36,877 --> 00:20:39,614 - But so sad. - Killed that. 538 00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:42,680 You know, as somebody who usually shuns the spotlight, 539 00:20:42,705 --> 00:20:44,818 I never really got the appeal of karaoke, 540 00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,636 - Uh-huh. - but, um, it was... 541 00:20:46,637 --> 00:20:48,137 it... it was fun. It was really fun. 542 00:20:48,138 --> 00:20:49,472 - It was fun, wasn't it? - It was. It was. 543 00:20:49,473 --> 00:20:50,551 And you were so good. 544 00:20:50,576 --> 00:20:51,867 Oh, I practiced the entire time I was driving. 545 00:20:51,892 --> 00:20:52,958 - You did? - Yeah. 546 00:20:52,983 --> 00:20:54,275 Okay, let me catch you up on everything you missed 547 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,528 while you were gone. 548 00:20:55,553 --> 00:20:56,793 Kept a log, just the way you like. 549 00:20:56,818 --> 00:20:57,855 Oh. Oh, great. 550 00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,774 So, 8:02 P.M., we arrived. 551 00:20:59,775 --> 00:21:00,950 Two minutes late. What happened? 552 00:21:00,975 --> 00:21:04,436 Hey, uh, I'm pretty sure I requested a quiet ride. 553 00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:06,465 - Oh. - You know what? You sure did. 554 00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:07,950 - Um, my bad. - Sorry. 555 00:21:10,340 --> 00:21:11,536 My shoelace was caught in the escalator. 556 00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:14,411 A quiet ride, not a whisper one. 557 00:21:14,436 --> 00:21:16,271 A quiet one. 558 00:21:23,419 --> 00:21:27,419 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 40820

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