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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:03,341
Terry, darling...sorry...
2
00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:05,210
Terrell, darling,
are the ratings out yet?
3
00:00:05,251 --> 00:00:06,634
I need to know how I did
in the L.A. market.
4
00:00:06,668 --> 00:00:08,887
Why do you care?
People love you.
5
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,922
Yeah, but I want them
to love me most.
6
00:00:10,956 --> 00:00:12,273
Right now I'm number three.
7
00:00:12,308 --> 00:00:13,792
Say you were the third best
receiver on a team.
8
00:00:13,843 --> 00:00:15,326
Wouldn't happen.
I'm always open.
9
00:00:15,361 --> 00:00:16,528
Okay, but--
10
00:00:16,579 --> 00:00:18,346
Throw something to me
when I least expect it.
11
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:19,981
You know, I don't know
why I obsess on these things.
12
00:00:20,015 --> 00:00:21,533
I'm never gonna
beat El Mandril.
13
00:00:21,584 --> 00:00:25,403
Look at him up there,
so happy with his sexy posse.
14
00:00:25,437 --> 00:00:26,938
You know, he's--
ha!
15
00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:27,922
Amazing.
16
00:00:27,957 --> 00:00:29,641
Hey, delivery just came in
17
00:00:29,692 --> 00:00:32,743
from our owner
Mr. James Leopold.
18
00:00:33,878 --> 00:00:34,913
The gold watch.
19
00:00:36,448 --> 00:00:38,933
- Does this mean--
- Take a look.
20
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,234
Oh, my God.
21
00:00:41,252 --> 00:00:42,920
- I'm number one!
- You're number one!
22
00:00:42,971 --> 00:00:44,822
I'm number one!
I'm number one!
23
00:00:44,856 --> 00:00:45,823
He's number one!
24
00:00:45,857 --> 00:00:47,007
I can see my face
25
00:00:47,042 --> 00:00:48,642
gentrifying the neighborhood
right now.
26
00:00:48,676 --> 00:00:50,075
Say I'm a local lowlife.
27
00:00:50,077 --> 00:00:52,712
Should I do street sex
or street drugs?
28
00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:54,631
Wait, I should be a doctor.
29
00:00:54,665 --> 00:00:56,466
Yeah!
30
00:00:57,217 --> 00:00:58,417
Always open.
31
00:00:58,452 --> 00:01:00,153
- Wow.
- I'm number one!
32
00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:01,871
- Here he comes.
- Go, Ryan!
33
00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,406
Thank you.
34
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,658
I just wanted to say
35
00:01:05,693 --> 00:01:07,393
that I couldn't do this
without you.
36
00:01:07,411 --> 00:01:09,546
We've all been
on a journey together.
37
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:13,032
And when I look out
at all of these faces--
38
00:01:13,766 --> 00:01:16,385
No, I couldn't get there,
but I wanted to.
39
00:01:16,419 --> 00:01:18,570
I wanted to.
40
00:01:18,605 --> 00:01:19,705
Where's Terrell Owens?
41
00:01:19,739 --> 00:01:21,073
We're celebrating NFL style!
42
00:01:21,107 --> 00:01:22,775
Oh!
43
00:01:22,809 --> 00:01:25,844
We are doing this every day.
44
00:01:31,334 --> 00:01:33,836
Guess what, you guys
are looking at the host
45
00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:36,472
of the number one
radio show in L.A.
46
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No, no, no.
Don't clap for me.
47
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:40,859
Clap for yourselves.
48
00:01:40,894 --> 00:01:42,861
If it wasn't for the support
of you--
49
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:45,314
No, still nothing.
I'm a robot.
50
00:01:45,365 --> 00:01:46,682
I'm happy for you, Ryan.
51
00:01:46,716 --> 00:01:50,502
But it's a hard day for
the old number one El Mandril.
52
00:01:50,537 --> 00:01:51,804
Listen.
53
00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,339
He is suffering.
54
00:01:54,374 --> 00:01:56,942
There is a sadness
to his horny cackle.
55
00:01:56,976 --> 00:01:58,227
Ryan, how are you
gonna celebrate?
56
00:01:58,261 --> 00:01:59,745
My friend Steven's
taking me out
57
00:01:59,779 --> 00:02:01,213
- for a steak dinner.
- Oh.
58
00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,465
No, thanks.
59
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,050
Wyatt has me on a very strict
no-red-meat diet,
60
00:02:06,068 --> 00:02:07,368
and I don't miss it at all.
61
00:02:07,403 --> 00:02:10,021
Beef, steak, meatballs--
I don't even think about it.
62
00:02:10,055 --> 00:02:11,906
French dip, hot dogs,
meatballs.
63
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:13,558
- You said meatballs already.
- Did I?
64
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:15,360
God, it's so funny
how you repeat things
65
00:02:15,394 --> 00:02:17,045
you do not think about.
66
00:02:17,079 --> 00:02:19,430
So what's going on with you,
cheesesteaks?
67
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:20,949
Uh, my divorce papers
finally came through.
68
00:02:20,983 --> 00:02:22,700
- Oh!
- Yeah.
69
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:24,902
Free man for the first time
since sixth grade.
70
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,338
Danny, you haven't flirted
with a girl since sixth grade?
71
00:02:27,472 --> 00:02:29,056
No, but it's like
riding a bicycle.
72
00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,274
I think I still got it.
73
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,861
- What's up, fart face?
- What?
74
00:02:33,895 --> 00:02:35,195
Hey, Son-yuch.
75
00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:36,597
Got something here for ya.
76
00:02:36,631 --> 00:02:38,048
Right here.
77
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:39,950
Noogie, noogie, noogie,
noogie, noogie, noogie.
78
00:02:39,984 --> 00:02:42,569
Damn it! You messed up
my bomb-ass weave,
79
00:02:42,603 --> 00:02:44,004
and I'm all out of hair glue!
80
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,138
- Ooh.
- Hey, buddy.
81
00:02:45,173 --> 00:02:46,373
If you want Sonia to like you,
82
00:02:46,391 --> 00:02:48,475
you may wanna update
some of your moves.
83
00:02:48,809 --> 00:02:50,877
Maybe you can help Danny.
84
00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:52,495
You are very good with women.
85
00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,813
Yeah, would you, Ryan?
86
00:02:53,864 --> 00:02:55,165
Please, I don't have
any more male friends
87
00:02:55,199 --> 00:02:57,067
since I lost 'em all
that horrible night in Kandahar.
88
00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,135
Ooh.
89
00:02:58,369 --> 00:02:59,486
Yeah, we were all
pretty drunk when I mentioned
90
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,537
I do a great
Nicole Kidman impression.
91
00:03:01,672 --> 00:03:02,922
Somewhere between getting naked
92
00:03:02,956 --> 00:03:05,666
and tucking my junk
between my legs, it went wrong.
93
00:03:05,943 --> 00:03:07,443
War.
94
00:03:07,478 --> 00:03:09,328
Oh, Dan, I'd love
to help you out,
95
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,163
but I don't wanna.
96
00:03:11,198 --> 00:03:12,498
Don't worry about it.
97
00:03:12,732 --> 00:03:14,617
Sonia and I probably
aren't a good match anyway.
98
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:17,319
You actually
are 98% compatible,
99
00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:19,163
according to this.
100
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:21,540
It's an algorithm I developed
for truesoulm8.com.
101
00:03:21,591 --> 00:03:23,526
That's mate with an eight.
102
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:24,877
You can find your perfect match
103
00:03:24,911 --> 00:03:27,229
by answering
eight simple questions.
104
00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:28,780
What is your deal?
105
00:03:28,815 --> 00:03:30,566
You work for NASA.
106
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,452
You've written a popular
love-predicting algorithm.
107
00:03:33,503 --> 00:03:34,903
You won't tell us
your last name.
108
00:03:34,921 --> 00:03:36,538
We don't know
why you're in this group.
109
00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,924
You know, Anne,
unlike your generation,
110
00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:41,260
who's all
about your Facebook updates
111
00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:45,164
and your sexting, I choose
to keep a few things private.
112
00:03:45,198 --> 00:03:46,915
All right, everybody.
See you in a little bit.
113
00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:52,056
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
114
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WEB-DL resync by Id0x0 (@Id0x0)
115
00:03:57,476 --> 00:03:59,294
"S.I.T.A.T.A.W.Y.D."?
116
00:03:59,328 --> 00:04:00,695
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
117
00:04:00,713 --> 00:04:01,830
Oh, man.
118
00:04:01,864 --> 00:04:04,382
It's K.
I want answers.
119
00:04:04,517 --> 00:04:05,466
We all do.
120
00:04:05,484 --> 00:04:06,684
I've been busting my ass,
121
00:04:06,736 --> 00:04:08,369
digging up information
for the last six months,
122
00:04:08,403 --> 00:04:09,721
and I will not see that ruined
123
00:04:09,755 --> 00:04:11,973
because some rookie
decided to play Nancy Drew.
124
00:04:12,091 --> 00:04:13,641
He knows you're on to him,
and he'll clam up.
125
00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:15,393
- What have you found out?
- Very little.
126
00:04:15,944 --> 00:04:18,245
There was a former NASA employee
named Benjamin Kakowski.
127
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:18,980
Okay.
128
00:04:19,098 --> 00:04:20,681
I staked out his apartment
for about three days
129
00:04:20,716 --> 00:04:22,183
until I finally got
a clean photo.
130
00:04:22,217 --> 00:04:24,252
- Oh, God!
- Yeah, it wasn't him.
131
00:04:24,286 --> 00:04:27,121
Maybe we'd get better results
if we teamed up?
132
00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,790
Okay, fine,
but we do this my way.
133
00:04:29,824 --> 00:04:30,458
Okay.
134
00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:32,126
We're not gonna leave here
till we can crack this code.
135
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,029
Oh, I forgot my wallet
and my day planner.
136
00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:36,497
My whole life is in these.
137
00:04:37,431 --> 00:04:39,200
I may not be good at this.
138
00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:43,971
Congratulations,
Mr. King.
139
00:04:44,005 --> 00:04:45,055
There he is.
140
00:04:45,089 --> 00:04:46,990
- Number one is in the house!
- Yeah!
141
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,408
Now before we sit,
142
00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:50,127
I thought we'd take
a walk around.
143
00:04:50,178 --> 00:04:53,613
Rich Eisen, my Nemesis.
144
00:04:53,648 --> 00:04:54,898
Did you set me up
for a gloat walk?
145
00:04:54,932 --> 00:04:56,516
- Yeah, I did!
- Okay.
146
00:04:56,551 --> 00:04:57,917
If we're gonna do this,
I'm on the inside
147
00:04:57,935 --> 00:04:59,486
and you're on the outside,
when we round the corner--
148
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,754
You'll be
in primo gloat position.
149
00:05:00,788 --> 00:05:02,389
Let's go.
150
00:05:02,423 --> 00:05:05,175
- Congratulations, Ryan.
- Hey, drinks on me tonight.
151
00:05:05,226 --> 00:05:06,643
I don't know who you are.
152
00:05:06,678 --> 00:05:08,729
Why would he say that?
153
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:10,330
- Way to go, Ryan!
- 100%--
154
00:05:10,365 --> 00:05:12,799
- Rich Eisen.
- Ryan King.
155
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,517
You know, I would've thought
a man like you
156
00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:15,773
would be at the front booth.
157
00:05:15,903 --> 00:05:17,053
Oh, no, wait a minute.
158
00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:18,855
You can't be
because that's where I am.
159
00:05:18,889 --> 00:05:20,807
Congrats on being
the number one host
160
00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,892
of a local show
in a dying medium.
161
00:05:22,926 --> 00:05:25,311
Well, congrats to you on--
162
00:05:25,345 --> 00:05:26,412
We're on the wrong side.
163
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:28,398
- How did that happen?
- Okay.
164
00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:30,333
Yeah.
165
00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:33,903
I mean, that's it.
166
00:05:33,937 --> 00:05:36,021
I'm just gonna have to have
Warren Sapp kick his ass.
167
00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:38,490
At any rate, back to Sanchez.
Here's the deal.
168
00:05:38,525 --> 00:05:40,976
You did not just
double gloat walk me.
169
00:05:41,011 --> 00:05:44,046
- Turn his lamp off.
- Yeah.
170
00:05:44,481 --> 00:05:45,531
No more bread, bitch.
171
00:05:45,565 --> 00:05:46,932
Best part of the meal!
172
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:48,450
Thanks a lot, buddy.
173
00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:50,051
This is the best night ever.
174
00:05:50,086 --> 00:05:52,104
You deserve it, bud.
And there's one more thing.
175
00:05:52,338 --> 00:05:54,018
Ladies and gentlemen,
the latest caricature
176
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,256
to adorn our walls--
177
00:05:55,291 --> 00:05:58,009
the new number one
in L.A. radio...
178
00:05:58,027 --> 00:05:59,527
Ryan King.
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00:05:59,562 --> 00:06:01,247
Come on.
180
00:06:02,881 --> 00:06:04,399
Feel that love, Ryan.
181
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:05,984
Congratulations, buddy.
182
00:06:06,002 --> 00:06:07,252
You gotta be so happy.
183
00:06:07,286 --> 00:06:08,520
Right.
184
00:06:08,554 --> 00:06:11,856
'Cause if I'm not now,
I-I never will be.
185
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:21,216
I still don't know who that is.
186
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,370
Ryan, are you okay?
187
00:06:26,405 --> 00:06:28,539
I may need a moment.
188
00:06:28,574 --> 00:06:29,940
- Your food, Mr. King.
- Oh, thanks.
189
00:06:29,958 --> 00:06:31,042
Oh, sir, that's a hot plate.
190
00:06:31,076 --> 00:06:32,827
Yes, very hot.
It hurts a great deal.
191
00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,440
Hey, it's me.
192
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,435
Thanks for coming.
193
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,970
I'm not in the best place
right now.
194
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,121
Steak, huh?
195
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,456
You know,
since I quit eating meat,
196
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,992
I have so much more energy,
and I'm sleeping better.
197
00:06:50,026 --> 00:06:51,326
And is that a New York strip?
198
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:52,961
You want a bite?
199
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,580
No, no, I'm good.
200
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:56,648
Okay.
201
00:06:58,617 --> 00:06:59,684
What's going on?
202
00:06:59,718 --> 00:07:01,871
Well,
through all this Janie stuff,
203
00:07:01,884 --> 00:07:02,924
I kept thinking, you know,
204
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,099
if I could just get a win,
205
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,451
then I would be
magically back in check.
206
00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:07,736
And then today,
207
00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:09,037
something amazing happened,
208
00:07:09,071 --> 00:07:11,022
and I'm just as miserable
as I was yesterday.
209
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:11,890
Here, just take it.
210
00:07:11,910 --> 00:07:13,508
Oh, thank you so much.
211
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:16,677
Everything
that you're describing
212
00:07:16,695 --> 00:07:18,212
is totally normal.
213
00:07:18,547 --> 00:07:19,445
You know,
when I was overweight,
214
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:20,801
I thought if I could
just get thinner,
215
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:22,152
then I would have it all
figured out.
216
00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:23,854
Then I did lose the weight,
and I was still a mess.
217
00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:26,907
You can't seek happiness
from outside sources.
218
00:07:26,941 --> 00:07:28,725
Happiness comes from within.
219
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,569
Oh, you chewy little bitch.
220
00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:33,917
Oh, that's what a mouth is for!
221
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,949
Mmm!
222
00:07:36,883 --> 00:07:38,501
So that's your big idea?
223
00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:40,406
- Happiness comes from within?
- Mm-hmm.
224
00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:41,921
How am I supposed to do that?
225
00:07:41,955 --> 00:07:43,473
A lot of people believe
that the key to happiness
226
00:07:43,507 --> 00:07:44,691
is in helping others.
227
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,543
The joy that I receive
from helping you guys
228
00:07:46,577 --> 00:07:48,261
is so much more
than I would ever get
229
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:49,315
from just helping myself.
230
00:07:49,409 --> 00:07:51,910
Help someone else,
that will fix you.
231
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:53,428
Can't we just take a pill?
232
00:07:53,763 --> 00:07:54,896
What's Fausta on?
233
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,181
Can I just
take a bunch of that?
234
00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,499
Really, help people?
235
00:07:58,533 --> 00:07:59,726
Yeah.
236
00:08:01,205 --> 00:08:02,603
Okay, fine.
237
00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:04,739
Yes, fine.
I will help people.
238
00:08:04,773 --> 00:08:07,158
- Thank you.
- All right. Come here.
239
00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:08,426
Okay.
240
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:10,412
Ugh.
241
00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:13,915
No.
242
00:08:14,449 --> 00:08:17,351
Lauren, Project
"Be Happy By Helping Others"
243
00:08:17,402 --> 00:08:18,786
- is a complete disaster.
- Oh.
244
00:08:18,837 --> 00:08:20,671
I joined
this big brothers thing,
245
00:08:20,705 --> 00:08:23,257
and they gave me
this rich teenage bratty kid.
246
00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:24,858
I'm fairly certain
I'm just his driver.
247
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,543
Are you done yet?
I'm bored!
248
00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:27,845
Why don't you try walking
249
00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,980
and get a little exercise?
250
00:08:30,014 --> 00:08:31,832
Maybe you would
have more success
251
00:08:31,883 --> 00:08:33,784
helping someone you have
a personal connection with.
252
00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:36,086
- This sucks!
- No, you suck!
253
00:08:36,121 --> 00:08:38,288
- What's wrong, Danny?
- It's Sonia.
254
00:08:38,306 --> 00:08:40,574
I was trying to be flirty,
so I gave her a wedgie.
255
00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,359
Wait, this is perfect.
256
00:08:42,377 --> 00:08:44,916
Danny, I would like
to help you.
257
00:08:45,012 --> 00:08:47,750
I'm gonna make sure
that you and Sonia get together.
258
00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:48,970
Oh, thank you.
Just tell me
259
00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:50,505
what I need to do,
and I'll do it.
260
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:52,791
Ryan, there's a fat kid
in a blazer
261
00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:54,275
peeing on your Porsche.
262
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:56,711
This is on you, Lauren.
He is a bad kid.
263
00:08:56,746 --> 00:09:00,048
Danny, you gotta get rid of
the grade school pickup moves.
264
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:02,184
We gotta spruce up
your wardrobe
265
00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:05,087
and start playing
to your strengths, which are--
266
00:09:05,121 --> 00:09:07,589
In the army, I mastered
the ability of playing dead.
267
00:09:07,623 --> 00:09:09,307
Now I never actually
used it in combat,
268
00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:11,209
but it did get me out
of seeing a U.S.O. show
269
00:09:11,244 --> 00:09:13,411
with Gary Sinise's rock band.
270
00:09:14,446 --> 00:09:16,547
Okay. We gotta you
into a low-pressure,
271
00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:19,233
romance-friendly situation,
like a--
272
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,451
like a dinner party.
273
00:09:20,485 --> 00:09:22,386
That's a great idea.
274
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:25,939
K, you could host
at the place where you live.
275
00:09:25,957 --> 00:09:27,057
What are you doing?
276
00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:28,259
That sounds great.
277
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:30,511
I'd love to help out
a couple 98-percenters.
278
00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:34,682
Shall we say tomorrow evening
at 7 o clock?
279
00:09:34,716 --> 00:09:36,367
All right.
Lauren, if you're right,
280
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,520
by the end of the evening,
I should be as happy as--
281
00:09:41,636 --> 00:09:43,253
I love this song.
282
00:09:43,288 --> 00:09:45,822
Yeah, there's--
there's no song, honey.
283
00:09:45,857 --> 00:09:47,759
Tell me she's not on something.
284
00:09:50,711 --> 00:09:52,495
Welcome to Casa de K.
285
00:09:55,531 --> 00:09:57,750
Is it just me,
or is this all too normal?
286
00:09:58,285 --> 00:09:59,704
Except for this.
287
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,752
"Stay in there
and think about what you did."
288
00:10:01,872 --> 00:10:03,173
Good evening.
Welcome, guests.
289
00:10:03,207 --> 00:10:04,774
Tonight's meal will be prepared
290
00:10:04,809 --> 00:10:06,743
from the secret recipes
of the person
291
00:10:06,777 --> 00:10:09,195
who I am the closest to
in this world,
292
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:10,780
my dear mother.
293
00:10:11,415 --> 00:10:13,149
The chef's duties
will be performed
294
00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:16,676
by Louisiana's own
Kate Harrington,
295
00:10:16,796 --> 00:10:18,385
an accountant
I met at the pharmacy.
296
00:10:19,740 --> 00:10:21,112
Let's go over what we know.
297
00:10:21,232 --> 00:10:23,658
The paper I found said,
"S.I.T.A.T.A.W.Y.D."
298
00:10:23,778 --> 00:10:25,272
Now we have this pillow
that says,
299
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,724
"Stay in there
and think about what you did."
300
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,707
Wait.
S.I.T.A.T.A.W.Y.D.
301
00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:31,025
It's an acronym.
302
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:32,777
You're just now getting that?
303
00:10:32,828 --> 00:10:33,995
What's wrong with you?
304
00:10:34,029 --> 00:10:35,179
How much weed did you smoke
in the '70s?
305
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:36,546
A lot.
What's your point?
306
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:37,944
Where is Danny?
307
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:39,844
I told him if he got here early,
I'd give him some tips.
308
00:10:39,964 --> 00:10:40,554
What?
309
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:41,941
Well, Lauren said
if I helped him out,
310
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,377
somehow I'd be happier.
311
00:10:43,497 --> 00:10:45,361
No one has ever
become poor by giving.
312
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,428
Anne Frank said that.
313
00:10:46,463 --> 00:10:47,897
Which reminds me, I need to get
314
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:49,231
her book back from Ray Lewis.
315
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,967
Yolanda, this is my temporary
assistant Terrell Owens.
316
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:54,403
I've never been
more turned on in my life.
317
00:10:54,437 --> 00:10:55,754
Okay.
318
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,090
Anyway, I think
Danny's gonna do great.
319
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,824
He had this really sweet idea
to wear the coat
320
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,276
that his dad
courted his mom in.
321
00:11:04,079 --> 00:11:05,430
I'm guessing his dad was a--
322
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:06,704
Yeah, it seems
he was a doorman.
323
00:11:06,735 --> 00:11:09,433
Wyatt, Mr. K developed
the algorithm for a dating site,
324
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,568
and the compatibility score
325
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,570
he gave Sonia and Danny
is a 98.
326
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,408
Cool.
So what's our score?
327
00:11:14,528 --> 00:11:15,951
Well, I already know
the answers
328
00:11:16,071 --> 00:11:17,793
you'd give to the questions,
so let's see.
329
00:11:17,913 --> 00:11:20,995
You are a 78.
330
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,714
Sweet, C-plus.
331
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,165
I mean, I didn't end up
being a chiropractor
332
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,152
because I got straight "A"s,
right?
333
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,203
Oh. Oh.
334
00:11:28,537 --> 00:11:29,838
I'll be right back.
335
00:11:30,672 --> 00:11:32,607
Hey, uh, not that I believe
in love math,
336
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:34,008
but I kinda thought
that Wyatt and I
337
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,460
would've scored
a little higher.
338
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,595
Oh, you and Wyatt!
339
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:39,113
The 78 was for him and Fausta.
340
00:11:39,147 --> 00:11:40,681
Oh!
341
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:41,883
You and Wyatt were a 23.
342
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,801
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:11:43,835 --> 00:11:45,570
Come on.
Let's go, let's go.
344
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:47,071
I come
from a long line of doormen.
345
00:11:47,105 --> 00:11:48,256
But it ended with me.
346
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,323
I didn't have the goods.
347
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,275
Sonia's gonna walk in
any moment.
348
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,944
He has to look good.
You gotta go faster.
349
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:55,729
Lose the hat.
And give me the whistle.
350
00:11:55,763 --> 00:11:57,831
All right, but I'd like to keep
the dog treats if I may
351
00:11:57,865 --> 00:11:58,816
for dad.
352
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,017
Oh.
353
00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:01,602
All right.
Now let's work on that hair.
354
00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:02,653
Okay.
355
00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:05,689
Oh, you travel
with your own hair gel?
356
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,790
I'm sorry,
am I not manly enough
357
00:12:06,825 --> 00:12:08,760
for the makeover
you're orchestrating?
358
00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:12,529
Wow, Danny, you look great.
359
00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:14,364
- Thanks.
- So do you, by the way.
360
00:12:14,415 --> 00:12:16,967
Thanks. It's like
Sgt. Pepper's meets The Matrix.
361
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:18,268
All right, listen to me.
362
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,353
You are interesting,
363
00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:21,221
you are delightful,
364
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:22,489
and you deserve this.
365
00:12:22,907 --> 00:12:24,074
I'll get that.
366
00:12:24,108 --> 00:12:25,942
Wow, good open.
367
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,828
You're a natural.
368
00:12:27,862 --> 00:12:30,230
Bet you're great at waiting
for packages too.
369
00:12:30,248 --> 00:12:31,331
Okay. Let's sweep Sonia
off her feet.
370
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:33,250
Come on!
371
00:12:33,284 --> 00:12:35,952
Hi, everyone.
Meet my date Carlo.
372
00:12:36,003 --> 00:12:38,755
I'm such a loser.
373
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:41,025
I'll always be a loser.
374
00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:44,428
Here, I'll get that.
375
00:12:44,462 --> 00:12:46,824
Oh, now you're
just showing off.
376
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,620
- Hey! Found K's photo album.
- Ooh, let's see.
377
00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:57,974
- Hey!
- Aah!
378
00:12:58,008 --> 00:13:00,707
You guys are looking around
a little bit, that's fun.
379
00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:01,879
Just please don't go
into the room
380
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:02,868
at the end of the hall.
381
00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:11,789
Says he was close
to his mother.
382
00:13:11,823 --> 00:13:14,024
"Stay in there
and think about what you did."
383
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,109
You think she's in that room?
384
00:13:15,143 --> 00:13:16,527
Oh, she's in there.
385
00:13:16,561 --> 00:13:19,363
Dead or alive?
That's the question.
386
00:13:21,632 --> 00:13:23,617
Hey, Sonia, can I talk to you
for a second?
387
00:13:23,651 --> 00:13:25,951
Whoa. We're in the middle
of a conversation, son.
388
00:13:26,086 --> 00:13:27,720
Who is this guy?
389
00:13:27,755 --> 00:13:28,688
This is Carlo.
390
00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,240
He works security
at my apartment complex.
391
00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:31,741
Upstate New York in the house.
392
00:13:32,175 --> 00:13:32,959
Hey, fair warning.
393
00:13:32,993 --> 00:13:34,160
If you want in on these suds,
394
00:13:34,194 --> 00:13:35,261
5 bucks a cup.
395
00:13:35,779 --> 00:13:36,696
Yeah, that's right.
396
00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,080
And if I see you
trying to sneak a pump
397
00:13:38,115 --> 00:13:40,266
with no "X" on your hand,
it is show time.
398
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,550
Do you like Candlebox?
399
00:13:41,585 --> 00:13:42,952
- No.
- Strike two.
400
00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:44,787
Sonia, can I talk to you
for a second?
401
00:13:45,222 --> 00:13:46,438
What are you doing?
Who is that guy?
402
00:13:46,473 --> 00:13:47,590
I thought you liked Danny.
403
00:13:47,624 --> 00:13:48,991
What?
Danny's a jerk.
404
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:51,943
Who am I kidding?
405
00:13:52,178 --> 00:13:54,780
He's cute, sweet, fun.
406
00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:56,448
And all the wedgies,
the dead legs,
407
00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:58,967
ahh, they make
a girl feel good.
408
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:00,736
Boy, how are you guys
only a 98?
409
00:14:00,787 --> 00:14:02,320
He's clearly
about to make a move.
410
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:03,605
That's why I brought Carlo.
411
00:14:03,639 --> 00:14:05,123
I self-sabotage!
412
00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:06,308
Forget about Carlo.
413
00:14:06,342 --> 00:14:08,393
Just be out on the patio
at 9:00 P.M.
414
00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,078
I'll make sure there's champagne
415
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:11,512
and flowers and Danny.
416
00:14:11,547 --> 00:14:13,781
And then you guys can kiss
and then fall in love
417
00:14:13,816 --> 00:14:15,867
- and live happily ever after.
- Okay.
418
00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:17,735
Wow.
419
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:21,071
What I'd give to see Danny
in a bangin' outfit like that.
420
00:14:27,211 --> 00:14:28,312
If you really love him,
421
00:14:28,346 --> 00:14:29,963
you'll let him go to Fausta.
422
00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:31,515
What are you guys
talking about?
423
00:14:31,549 --> 00:14:33,383
Mr. K has a stupid formula
that he says
424
00:14:33,418 --> 00:14:35,118
can determine if you're meant
to be together.
425
00:14:35,153 --> 00:14:36,770
That's ridiculous.
Love math?
426
00:14:36,821 --> 00:14:38,939
Yes, that is exactly
how I belittled it. Thank you.
427
00:14:38,974 --> 00:14:40,941
You are so much smarter
than I thought you were.
428
00:14:40,992 --> 00:14:42,309
A lot of people think I'm dumb
429
00:14:42,343 --> 00:14:44,277
'cause I hang out with Ryan--
stupidity by proxy.
430
00:14:44,312 --> 00:14:46,313
Let's dial this party up
a bit, shall we?
431
00:14:46,347 --> 00:14:48,799
- Any requests?
- Candlebox!
432
00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:50,417
How about the only thing
that I know how to play--
433
00:14:50,451 --> 00:14:51,802
the middle part of that song
434
00:14:51,836 --> 00:14:53,637
Islands in the Stream.
435
00:14:53,671 --> 00:14:54,671
- Mm.
- Hmm?
436
00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:57,090
Come on, Wyatt, duet!
437
00:14:57,124 --> 00:14:58,941
It's not my thing.
438
00:14:58,976 --> 00:15:00,509
♪ Islands in the stream
439
00:15:00,527 --> 00:15:02,628
♪ that is what we are
440
00:15:02,663 --> 00:15:05,014
♪ no one in between
441
00:15:05,048 --> 00:15:07,700
♪ how can we be wrong?
442
00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,035
♪ Sail away with me
443
00:15:09,069 --> 00:15:11,621
♪ to another world
444
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:14,273
♪ and we rely on each other ♪
445
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:15,575
♪ uh-huh
446
00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:18,294
♪ from one lover to another ♪
447
00:15:18,328 --> 00:15:19,545
♪ uh-huh
448
00:15:21,498 --> 00:15:23,699
You're good.
449
00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:26,334
99%.
450
00:15:26,352 --> 00:15:27,703
Blam-o.
451
00:15:29,372 --> 00:15:31,206
No, no, no.
I talked to Sonia.
452
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,459
Just be out on the porch
at 9:00, and you're golden.
453
00:15:33,493 --> 00:15:34,460
I'm not doing it.
454
00:15:34,494 --> 00:15:35,761
Sonia wants you now!
455
00:15:35,795 --> 00:15:36,845
She doesn't want me.
456
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,914
No woman wants me.
457
00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:40,415
Don't die.
458
00:15:40,949 --> 00:15:42,368
Good-bye, Ryan.
459
00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:48,377
Oh, my God.
You've got no pulse.
460
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,909
That's amazing!
461
00:15:51,143 --> 00:15:53,495
Wait here.
Oh, right, you're dead.
462
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:56,381
Hey, Kate, you seem like
a nice person.
463
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,199
My friend Danny's
in the other room,
464
00:15:58,217 --> 00:16:00,034
and he's in need
of a little ego boost.
465
00:16:00,052 --> 00:16:01,353
Would you go talk to him?
466
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:03,267
- I'd be happy to.
- Great. Right through there.
467
00:16:03,289 --> 00:16:05,090
He's tall, thin, dead.
468
00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:06,725
You can't miss him.
469
00:16:07,459 --> 00:16:09,627
- Okay, open it.
- You open it.
470
00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:11,278
You've been standing here
an hour.
471
00:16:11,296 --> 00:16:13,030
Go in, or get out of the way.
472
00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:16,083
I've been tracking who I think
to be Mr. Klein for a year,
473
00:16:16,118 --> 00:16:18,052
and you're not gonna blow it.
474
00:16:18,086 --> 00:16:20,104
All right.
475
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,359
Mama K?
476
00:16:25,394 --> 00:16:27,546
Uncle Jessup?
477
00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:39,623
Oh, my God.
478
00:16:39,674 --> 00:16:42,126
It's--it's--
479
00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:43,410
It's Mr. Belvedere.
480
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:45,617
What?
481
00:16:47,564 --> 00:16:51,003
- Hey, bro, you scared of a woman?
- Dude, it's I-X o'clock.
482
00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,073
I think that's 9:00.
483
00:16:52,108 --> 00:16:53,191
I don't have time for this.
484
00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:54,442
No way, bro.
485
00:16:54,477 --> 00:16:56,808
We gotta settle this,
upstate New York style.
486
00:16:57,696 --> 00:16:59,764
Are you packin'?
487
00:16:59,799 --> 00:17:01,616
And Candlebox sucks.
488
00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:06,234
- Where's Danny?
- He'll be here.
489
00:17:06,268 --> 00:17:07,536
He's just
getting his mojo back.
490
00:17:08,471 --> 00:17:11,172
Hey.
491
00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:13,274
I'd say it's back.
492
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:15,910
Wow.
What's her deal?
493
00:17:15,945 --> 00:17:17,539
The man can't even open a door.
494
00:17:17,659 --> 00:17:19,760
Look at him.
He's so happy.
495
00:17:19,794 --> 00:17:21,018
He does look happy.
496
00:17:21,138 --> 00:17:22,730
And when you think about it,
he's only happy
497
00:17:22,764 --> 00:17:26,100
because of me,
so now I can finally be--
498
00:17:26,134 --> 00:17:29,570
Oh, Sonia, I'm so sorry.
499
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:34,258
What's this all about, K?
500
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,976
It was the summer of 1984,
501
00:17:36,994 --> 00:17:39,784
and little Benjy K
had just arrived in Hollywood,
502
00:17:39,804 --> 00:17:42,514
ready to take Tinseltown
by storm.
503
00:17:42,839 --> 00:17:45,241
I had just landed
the lead kid role
504
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:48,627
in a new show
called Mr. Belvedere.
505
00:17:48,662 --> 00:17:51,013
Oh, you were gonna play Wesley?
506
00:17:51,047 --> 00:17:52,231
I did play Wesley!
507
00:17:52,762 --> 00:17:54,279
In the first episode, at least.
508
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:56,415
And then in the final scene
of the piece,
509
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:59,825
I was to deliver the most
killer joke ever written.
510
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:03,556
I, a kid, was supposed
to tell Mr. Belvedere,
511
00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:05,941
a grown-up, to stay--
512
00:18:06,943 --> 00:18:09,094
Oh! Even now,
I can't get it out.
513
00:18:09,145 --> 00:18:12,047
Stay in there
and think about what you did.
514
00:18:12,082 --> 00:18:14,917
Wow. Yolanda, way to take
a bulletproof joke
515
00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:16,356
and shoot it right in the face.
516
00:18:16,776 --> 00:18:19,344
87 takes I did
before I was canned.
517
00:18:19,395 --> 00:18:21,763
My career was over
before it even started.
518
00:18:21,781 --> 00:18:25,016
In a way, I guess
I keep my Belvedere room
519
00:18:25,051 --> 00:18:27,018
for the same reason
anyone else does.
520
00:18:27,053 --> 00:18:28,236
- No one does.
- No.
521
00:18:28,254 --> 00:18:30,972
As a bitter reminder
of a tragic loss.
522
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:32,791
And that's why
you're in the group.
523
00:18:32,825 --> 00:18:36,228
Is it?
524
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,843
I'm a puzzle with many pieces.
525
00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:41,078
But it feels really good
to share with you
526
00:18:41,129 --> 00:18:43,113
one of my secrets finally.
527
00:18:43,148 --> 00:18:44,799
You've helped me.
528
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,219
I think it's time
to put this away.
529
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,755
Time for the next stage
of my life.
530
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,824
What's this thing?
531
00:19:02,858 --> 00:19:06,478
Why do you want me to say,
"I love you, buddy"?
532
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,730
- Ooh.
- Oh, that's sad.
533
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,751
Oh, no.
534
00:19:11,871 --> 00:19:13,555
It's my mathematically proven
soul mate.
535
00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:15,757
- This is very awkward.
- Oh, my God.
536
00:19:15,808 --> 00:19:17,488
Must spend eternity with you.
537
00:19:17,493 --> 00:19:18,777
Hey, what do you wanna
name our triplets?
538
00:19:18,795 --> 00:19:20,245
- I like Kody.
- I like Cassidy.
539
00:19:20,263 --> 00:19:21,697
Emma.
540
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,714
Okay, well, this is fate.
541
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:28,004
Darling, I know
we've only met three times,
542
00:19:28,038 --> 00:19:30,343
and the only thing
we've ever talked about is Ryan,
543
00:19:30,463 --> 00:19:32,914
but I burn for you,
and I'm gonna pull you in
544
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:34,666
in a Dirty Dancing- like
position.
545
00:19:36,636 --> 00:19:37,970
This is funny, right?
546
00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:39,988
It may just be hot.
547
00:19:40,023 --> 00:19:41,707
- I need meatballs.
- I love meatballs.
548
00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:42,542
Stop it.
549
00:19:47,647 --> 00:19:48,781
Love, man.
550
00:19:49,408 --> 00:19:50,908
Let's make a pact.
551
00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:52,727
If we're both still single
when we're 40,
552
00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:54,245
we should make a baby.
553
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,231
I'm already 40.
554
00:19:56,265 --> 00:19:57,832
You are?
Ugh!
555
00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,901
How are you not more together?
556
00:20:00,552 --> 00:20:02,753
You know, Sonia, I hope
it works out with you and Danny.
557
00:20:02,771 --> 00:20:04,822
But if it's not him,
it's gonna be someone.
558
00:20:04,857 --> 00:20:06,741
You will be happy.
559
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:08,626
I don't see myself being happy.
560
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:10,342
I self-sabotage.
561
00:20:10,694 --> 00:20:12,728
Well, now that you
recognize that tendency,
562
00:20:12,762 --> 00:20:14,396
maybe you can change.
563
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,430
But I won't.
564
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,032
And soon,
this whole stupid night
565
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:18,735
will be a distant memory.
566
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:20,987
You know what?
567
00:20:23,873 --> 00:20:24,924
Whoa.
568
00:20:27,479 --> 00:20:32,381
I just stopped time for you.
569
00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:34,583
So here, take this
as a reminder
570
00:20:34,617 --> 00:20:36,485
of the exact moment
that you decided
571
00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:38,504
to be a better, happier person.
572
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:42,491
Ryan...
that's the sweetest thing
573
00:20:42,525 --> 00:20:43,826
anyone's ever done for me.
574
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,779
Really?
575
00:20:49,537 --> 00:20:53,416
Aww. This is nice.
576
00:20:53,662 --> 00:20:56,038
Hey, it's him.
He's coming.
577
00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:01,076
El Mandril.
578
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,178
Numero uno.
579
00:21:04,413 --> 00:21:07,397
_
580
00:21:08,585 --> 00:21:11,353
Yeah!
I got a posse now!
581
00:21:11,387 --> 00:21:13,021
Thank you.
582
00:21:13,056 --> 00:21:15,390
Posse, this is Sonia.
Sonia, posse.
583
00:21:15,425 --> 00:21:17,693
Sonia's very single.
584
00:21:17,727 --> 00:21:20,028
Numero uno!
585
00:21:22,234 --> 00:21:24,755
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
586
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:28,080
WEB-DL resync by Id0x0 (@Id0x0)
41044
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