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1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:09,277
Captioning made possible by
paramount pictures corporation
2
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:05,065
Uh huh huh huh...
3
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,306
This is cool.
4
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,175
Uh huh huh...
5
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,415
Ow. Cut it out,
butt-Hole.
6
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,154
Whoa!
Aah!
7
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,221
Aah!
8
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,657
Uh huh huh huh...
9
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,462
Uh, hey, baby.
Huh huh.
10
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,598
I'm, like, pretty tall.
Uh huh huh...
11
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,634
Damn it, cut it out.
I'm trying to score.
12
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,481
Look at you,
you bungholes.
13
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,648
Heh heh...
14
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,218
Hey, baby,
how's it goin'?
15
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,219
Hey, hey!
16
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,788
No way, beavis.
I saw her first.
17
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,391
Damn it.
I'm gonna kick your ass.
18
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,360
Get outta here.
19
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,729
Uh uh uh...
20
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,464
Butt-Head,
hey, butt-Head.
21
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,565
Oh, no.
22
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,501
Butt-Head,
butt-Head, wake up!
23
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,568
Butt-Head...
24
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:18,372
Uh...uh...
damn it, beavis,
25
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,474
I was about
to score.
26
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,742
Yeah, but
check it out.
27
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:22,743
It's gone.
28
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,679
Uh...what?
29
00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:28,382
The tv!
Mm mm mm...
30
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:29,483
Uh...
31
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,718
Oh, yeah.
32
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,253
Huh huh huh...
33
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,255
Well, where is it?
34
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,523
I don't know.
35
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,259
I just woke up,
and it was gone.
36
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,795
And look,
the window's broken, too.
37
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,864
We'll get 100 bucks
for this baby.
38
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:44,865
Oops.
39
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,400
Ha ha ha ha...
40
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,968
No...
41
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,671
Hmm. Uh huh huh huh...
42
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,706
Uhh...
43
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,444
Uhh...
44
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,746
Uh huh huh huh...
45
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,282
Uhh...
46
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,383
Uh huh huh...
47
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,853
Uhh...
48
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,956
Whoa.
I think i just figured something out, beavis.
49
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,491
W-W-What?
50
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,659
H-H-Heh...
51
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,727
This sucks.
Huh huh huh...
52
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:16,330
Yeah. Heh. Yeah,
it really sucks.
53
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,765
Heh heh heh...
54
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,001
This sucks more than anything
that has ever sucked before.
55
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,971
We must find this butt-Hole
that took our tv.
56
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,774
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
57
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,629
Isaac hayes:
* a couple of mean guys
58
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,698
* with fire in their eyes
59
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,899
* known by the names of
60
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,868
* beavis
and butt-Head *
61
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,537
* yeah
62
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,741
* they'll chew you up
and spit you out *
63
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,676
* beyond a doubt
64
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,345
* it pays
not to mess with *
65
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,380
* beavis
and butt-Head *
66
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,248
* you got it
67
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:18,626
* if you cross
beavis and butt-Head *
68
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:23,631
* they will throw down
and blow your ass away *
69
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:25,866
* y'know what i'm sayin'?
70
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,602
* beavis
and butt-Head *
71
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,380
* beavis
and butt-Head *
72
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,048
Uh huh huh huh...
73
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,625
* ahh, yes
74
00:05:10,578 --> 00:05:11,979
Uh...
75
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,747
It's not in here.
76
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,584
What are we gonna do,
butt-Head?
77
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,719
What if we never find it?
78
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,754
Settle down, beavis.
79
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,527
Hey, wait a minute.
80
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,628
Where are we going?
81
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,829
I don't want to
go to school.
82
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,431
We gotta find our tv.
83
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,532
Shut up, beavis.
84
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,634
I got an idea.
85
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,436
Uh huh huh huh...
86
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:38,639
Let's just wheel this
thing back to the house.
87
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,874
Huh huh...yeah.
88
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,448
Uh, hey,
excuse me, boys.
89
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:48,949
What's
going on here?
90
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,752
Uh, someone
stole our tv.
91
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,687
Yeah. We're just
gonna use this one.
92
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:54,855
Get outta the way.
93
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:59,527
I'm afraid that tv belongs
to the school, ok?
94
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,697
You know, this could be a really
positive experience for you guys.
95
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,166
There's a wonderful
and exciting world out there
96
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:11,505
When we discover that we don't
need tv to entertain us.
97
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,508
He said anus.
Uh huh huh huh...
98
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,611
Entertain us...anus.
Oh, yeah.
99
00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:21,181
Have you guys heard
a word i've said?
100
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,183
Uh, yeah.
101
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,452
Anus.
102
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,753
Yeah, yeah.
Heh heh...
103
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,488
Yeah, i heard it, too.
104
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,757
Look, guys,
just take the tv
105
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,493
Back to the a/v room
right now.
106
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:36,464
And try to be a little more
open to life experiences,
107
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,698
Ok?
108
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,901
What a dork.
109
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,805
Get it over here...
110
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,676
Ow.
111
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,046
That was cool.
112
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,582
No, it wasn't.
113
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,884
Uh...oh, yeah.
114
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,021
Uh, what's
going on out here?
115
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,923
Oh, no!
116
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:04,958
Uh, that belongs
to the school.
117
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,661
Yeah. It's supposed
to be in the a/v room.
118
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,530
Uh, get back here!
119
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,532
Beavis
and butt-Head,
120
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,233
You're both
expelled!
121
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,234
Uhh...
122
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,536
Cool.
123
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,974
Whoa, check it out,
beavis.
124
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,611
I didn't know anderson
had a camper.
125
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,946
Yeah.
Maybe it has a tv.
126
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,217
Oh, hello.
127
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,786
Are you boys here to look
at the refrigerator?
128
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,788
Uh, no.
129
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,658
Heh heh.
We're here to look at the tv.
130
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,059
Oh, tom didn't tell me
it was broken.
131
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,127
Go on in.
132
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,096
Cool.
133
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,164
Yeah.
134
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,868
Well, that ought
to hold her.
135
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,903
You know, the most
important thing
136
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,639
You can have
on a camper
137
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,007
Is a good
butane regulator,
138
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,777
And this here's the
best one they make.
139
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,779
I sure hope we can
get that fridge fixed.
140
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,247
Now, marcy,
we've been planning
141
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,716
And saving up for this
trip our whole lives,
142
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:06,520
and we're gonna go
come hell or high water.
143
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,121
What in the hell
is that?
144
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,091
* dah...dah...da-Da-Dah
145
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:14,928
Ah, must be them
damn buzzard hawks.
146
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,865
Let's get something
to drink.
147
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,169
Ahh.
148
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,272
Aah!
149
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,907
This crap is warm.
150
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,276
Beavis, you butt-Hole,
you broke it.
151
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,946
Aah, no, no, damn it!
152
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,784
Hey, what the hell's
goin' on here?
153
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,619
They're here
to fix the tv.
154
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,621
What? The tv
ain't broken.
155
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:41,622
Uh...
156
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:42,756
Yeah, it is.
157
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,225
Yeah. Heh...
heh heh...
158
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,727
Hey, wait a minute.
159
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,029
You two look
kind of familiar.
160
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,831
Ain't you
them kids
161
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,834
That have been whackin'
off in my toolshed?
162
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:54,902
Uh huh huh...
heh heh heh...
163
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:58,606
Uh h-H-Hnn hnn...
164
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,943
We still don't have
a tv, butt-Head.
165
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,311
I know, beavis.
166
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:07,715
And damn it,
i can't sleep without a tv.
167
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,282
You dumb-Ass.
168
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,320
H-Help. Help me.
169
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:16,757
No...no...
170
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,192
What's your problem,
beavis?
171
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,295
Uhh...i need tv.
172
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,064
I need tv now.
173
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,165
Damn it.
174
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,567
Whoa.
175
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:29,670
Tv.
176
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,940
Yeah, yeah. Tv.
Heh heh.
177
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,342
Tv. Yeah.
178
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:37,611
Unh...unh...damn it.
179
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,579
Uh...no.
180
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,015
Damn it.
181
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,093
You sure these guys
can pull this off, earl?
182
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,296
It's gotta look
like an accident.
183
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,702
Oh! Oh, yeah.
184
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:02,870
Ohh...
185
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,404
Uh huh huh...
186
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,939
Ohh...
187
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:09,843
Beavis and butt-Head,
y-You little bastards!
188
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,645
Can we watch
your tv?
189
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,848
No! Y-You're expelled.
190
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,383
Now, get outta here!
191
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,286
Wait a minute.
Damn it.
192
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,921
I need a tv now.
193
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,056
We're missing everything.
194
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,994
Yeah, hold on a minute.
That must be them now.
195
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,762
Yeah, i'll call you back.
196
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,930
Come in!
197
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,899
Ahh...
198
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,001
Tv. Yeah.
199
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,836
You're late.
200
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:39,239
Really? Did we
miss baywatch?
201
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:43,911
Ehhh...
202
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,413
Man, earl said you
guys were young,
203
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,782
But jeez...
204
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,084
Ah, well.
As long as you can get the job done.
205
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,152
What are your names?
206
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,288
Uh, butt-Head.
Huh huh...
207
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,826
Oh, i mean, beavis.
Heh heh heh...
208
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,027
Oh, that's all right.
209
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,862
I'd rather not know
your real names anyway.
210
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,030
Mine's muddy.
211
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,265
Now, look, i'm gonna get
right to the point.
212
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,768
I'll pay you 10 grand
plus expenses,
213
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,469
All payable
after you do her.
214
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,172
Uh...do her?
215
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,707
That's right...Do her.
216
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,377
I'm offering you $10,000
plus expenses to do my wife.
217
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,245
We got a deal?
218
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,348
Um, actually,
we just want to watch tv.
219
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,983
Shut up, beavis.
220
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,086
Uh...yeah,
we'll do your wife.
221
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,789
N-No! I wanna
watch tv.
222
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,057
Aah!
223
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,491
Damn it, beavis,
you butt-Munch.
224
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:35,095
This guy wants us to
score with his wife,
225
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,798
And he's gonna pay us.
226
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,900
We can buy a new tv.
227
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:43,203
Heh heh. Really?
Heh heh. Cool.
228
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:47,941
Uh...huh huh...
we'll do it, sir.
229
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,076
Well, all right, then.
230
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,944
Let's get down
to business.
231
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,913
Here she is, boys.
232
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,347
Her name's dallas.
233
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,316
She ain't as sweet
as she looks.
234
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,151
She stole
everything from me.
235
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,486
Ya gotta watch out,
236
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,822
'Cause she'll do you twice
as fast as you do her.
237
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,924
Whoa. Huh huh...
238
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,425
Cool.
239
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,326
Heh heh. Yeah.
240
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,329
She's holed up in her
room in las vegas.
241
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,231
I got you a room
right next to hers.
242
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,100
Your flight leaves
in an hour. Come on.
243
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,803
I'll drive you
to the airport.
244
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,504
Holed up.
245
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,539
Huh huh huh...
246
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,241
Hole.
247
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,510
Can we watch
some tv first?
248
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,413
No.
249
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,920
Now, you listen to me,
and this is real important.
250
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,123
My wife's got this
leather satchel.
251
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,125
It's a black bag
about this big.
252
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,127
I need you to
bring it back, boys.
253
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,796
Sentimental value,
you know what i mean?
254
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,297
Any questions
so far?
255
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:48,568
Uh,
does she have big hooters?
256
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,138
Heh heh. Yeah, she sure does.
Ha ha...
257
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,441
Huh huh...
this is gonna be cool.
258
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,443
Y-Y-Yeah.
259
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,544
Boi-Oi-Oi-Oing.
260
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,346
Heh heh heh...
261
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,215
Hey, you guys
are funny.
262
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:05,185
Let's have a drink on it,
eh?
263
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,495
Now, don't let me down.
264
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,500
We're gonna get paid
to score.
265
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:25,138
Yeah.
Then we're gonna get a big-Screen tv...
266
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,874
With 2 remotes.
267
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,041
Beavis,
268
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:31,078
This is the greatest
day of our lives.
269
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,479
Yeah.
270
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,587
Here you are.
271
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:46,193
Hey, beavis,
she touched my butt.
272
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,396
Hello there.
273
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,933
Are you two headin'
for las vegas?
274
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,135
Yeah. We're
gonna score.
275
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:58,471
Oh. Well,
i hope to score big there myself.
276
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,308
I'm mostly gonna be
doin' the slots.
277
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,577
Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping
to do some sluts, too.
278
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,948
Do they have a lot of
sluts in las vegas?
279
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,082
There are
so many slots,
280
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,118
You won't know
where to begin.
281
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,887
Whoa. Hey, butt-Head,
this chick is pretty cool.
282
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,957
She says there's gonna be
tons of sluts in las vegas.
283
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,358
Cool. Huh huh...
284
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:23,931
It's so nice to meet young
men who are so well-Mannered.
285
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,098
Yeah. Heh heh.
286
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,167
I'm gonna have money
and a big-Screen tv,
287
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,269
And there's gonna be
sluts everywhere.
288
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,971
It's gonna rule.
289
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,506
Oh, that's nice.
290
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,308
Captain: turn your attention
to the front of the cabin
291
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,410
For pre-Flight
safety instructions.
292
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,611
Woman: to fasten
your seat belt
293
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:41,982
Insert the free end
into the coupling...
294
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,683
Insert.
Huh huh huh...
295
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,356
Uhh...
296
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,390
Hmm.
297
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,192
Damn it.
298
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,293
Uh...
299
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:57,297
Hi. Can i help
you with that?
300
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,403
There you go,
all set.
301
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,973
I love you.
Huh huh...
302
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,376
Hey, hey,
cut it out.
303
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,978
I want her to do it.
304
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,014
Huh huh...
come to butt-Head.
305
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,649
Captain: flight attendants,
please prepare for takeoff.
306
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,586
Nn, damn it.
307
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:23,390
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, what's going on?
308
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:28,195
Aah! We're gonna die!
309
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,430
Aah! We're all
gonna die!
310
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,532
Come to butt-Heaaaah...
311
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:45,378
Uh, could you, like,
do that thing with my belt again?
312
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,252
Yeah. This is her.
313
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,187
Oh, she looks
lovely.
314
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:58,225
I'm probably going to make out
with her first before we, uh...
315
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,161
You know, heh heh,
get down.
316
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,164
I'm sorry.
You have to speak up, son.
317
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,699
I have this ringin'
in my ears.
318
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:09,169
My doctor says
it could be related
319
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,238
To my heart
palpitations.
320
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,639
Heh. Really?
321
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,574
I poop too much.
322
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:15,608
Ohh.
323
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:20,347
Maybe you're
lactose-Intolerant.
324
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,083
No, no.
I poop too much!
325
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,651
And then
i get tired.
326
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:29,322
Tired?
Oh, well, i know all about tired, dear.
327
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,459
I have just
the thing for ya.
328
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,161
Here, take
a couple of these.
329
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,096
They perk me
right up.
330
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,665
Thanks.
331
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,304
Tastes like crap.
332
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,505
What else ya got?
333
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:49,342
Oh, go right ahead.
Help yourself.
334
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,284
So, uh, huh huh...
335
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,319
Goin' to las vegas?
336
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:13,366
Yi-Ai-Ai-Ai-Ai-Ai...
337
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,538
Hi. We're serving
dinner now.
338
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,174
Our selections tonight
are chicken piccata
339
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,375
Or seafood gumbo.
340
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,211
Beavis: piccata.
Titicaca...
341
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,478
Does the gumbo
have corn in it?
342
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,314
I am cornholio.
343
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,216
I need piccata
for my bung-Hole.
344
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,850
You'll have to wait
your turn, sir.
345
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,285
Are you
threatening me?
346
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,821
My bung-Hole
will not wait.
347
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,123
Heh heh. Bungholio.
348
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:42,795
Uh, hey,
i got a beer.
349
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,831
Want some?
Huh huh...
350
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:46,699
I am cornholio!
351
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,268
Aah!
Aah!
352
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,503
Aah...
353
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,409
Get the hell
outta the cockpit!
354
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,744
Huh huh. You said...
355
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,845
Now!
356
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:07,587
Welcome to las vegas.
357
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,889
Uhh...
358
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,525
This is las vegas?
359
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,461
Yeah. I thought
there'd be, like,
360
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,263
Casinos and lights
and stuff.
361
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,198
This isn't
very good.
362
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,403
Hey, butt-Head,
why is that guy holding a sign?
363
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,404
Uhh...
364
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,239
Maybe he's blind.
365
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,808
Huh huh. Check this out.
366
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,548
Uh, heh heh,
heh heh, uh...
367
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,649
Excuse me. Heh heh.
368
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,485
Uh, you guys
wouldn't know
369
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,887
Where i could find these guys,
would ya?
370
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,189
Oh.
371
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,159
Uh, be-A...
372
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,227
Be-Ave?
373
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,729
Um, buh...boo...
374
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,465
Boot? Someone
named boot?
375
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,435
This says beavis.
376
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,370
And boot-Head.
377
00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,540
Uhh...that's
butt-Head.
378
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,874
Don't you get it, beavis?
379
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,344
These dudes have
the same name as us.
380
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,545
Whoa, really?
381
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,713
We should party.
382
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,616
This way, sirs.
383
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,151
Where are
those guys?
384
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,522
Where the hell
is he?
385
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,258
You sure this is
the right place?
386
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:24,931
You muddy?
387
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,633
What are you,
the cops?
388
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,801
Uh, no.
Earl sent us,
389
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,371
You know, to take
care of your wife.
390
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,373
What? Take care...
391
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,375
What the hell
are you talkin' about?
392
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,277
Who were those
other two clowns?
393
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,311
Huh?
394
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,946
Aghh...god damn it!
395
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,581
She did it to me again!
396
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,815
I'm gonna go to vegas,
397
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,484
And i'm gonna kill
all three of them!
398
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:47,287
Hey, i noticed
your tv was broken.
399
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,755
You want to buy
a new one?
400
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,562
Just leave it.
Worthless piece of crap.
401
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:56,763
Yeah, really, man.
402
00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:00,533
We gotta start stealin'
from rich people.
403
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,606
* you give me
that funny feeling *
404
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,975
* in my stomach
405
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:16,516
* ahh...shake it,
yeah! That's right! *
406
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,485
* roller coaster
407
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,287
* of love
408
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,722
* roller coaster
409
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,724
* hoo-Ooh, ooh, ooh
410
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,593
* roller coaster
411
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,628
* of love
412
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,830
* roller coaster
413
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:33,700
* hoo-Ooh, ooh, ooh
414
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,535
* your love is like
415
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,970
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
416
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,939
* i wanna ride
417
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,610
* your love is like
418
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,413
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
419
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,781
* i wanna ride
420
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,368
* roller coaster
421
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,036
* of love
422
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,037
* roller coaster
423
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,772
* oh, yeah
424
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,541
* goin' round
that curve *
425
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,476
* roller coaster
426
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,411
* of love
427
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,879
* roller coaster
428
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:23,350
* gonna get down,
my roll-Roller coaster *
429
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,017
* your love is like
430
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,487
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
431
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,689
* i wanna ride
432
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:33,025
* your love is like
433
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,695
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
434
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:38,064
* i wanna ride
435
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,468
* your love is like
436
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,736
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
437
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,972
* i wanna ride
438
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,809
* your love is like
439
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,412
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
440
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,313
* i wanna ride
441
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:57,884
* your love is like
442
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,086
* a roller coaster,
baby, baby *
443
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,855
* i wanna ride...
444
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:09,829
I'm sorry about
445
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:12,732
That little misunderstanding,
gentlemen.
446
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:16,469
We didn't realize you
were registered guests.
447
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,471
If there's anything
we can do to...
448
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,006
Mm! Damn it!
449
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:21,441
This thing is stuck.
450
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,510
Uh, sir, it's
attached to the...
451
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,111
You dumb-Ass.
Let me try.
452
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:26,178
Uh...huh huh.
453
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:29,549
Hey, check it out.
That guy's still standing there.
454
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,117
Ahem.
455
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:35,121
Uh...could you, like,
not stand there and stuff?
456
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,726
Some people
are dumb.
457
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,027
Yeah, really.
458
00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:47,567
Uh...check it out,
beavis.
459
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,436
I wonder where
this goes.
460
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,673
Uh...huh huh.
461
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,842
Whoa. I think
i hear a chick.
462
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,978
Really? Cool! Neat!
463
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,681
Ow!
464
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,450
All right,
who are you?
465
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,585
Cia, fbi, atf?
466
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:07,153
Hey, butt-Head,
it's her!
467
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,556
Whoa!
Yeah!
468
00:23:09,589 --> 00:23:11,591
Uh...huh huh huh,
hey, baby...
469
00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:15,495
Are we, like,
gonna do it?
470
00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:16,796
You got 2 seconds.
471
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,498
Uh...huh huh...
472
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,633
Is that gonna
be enough time?
473
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,168
Who sent you?
474
00:23:22,201 --> 00:23:23,703
Uh, this drunk dude.
475
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,138
He said he was gonna
pay us to do you.
476
00:23:26,172 --> 00:23:26,973
Yeah, yeah.
477
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,709
Muddy...
son of a bitch.
478
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,579
Hold it.
What's he paying you?
479
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,914
Uh...10, uh...
480
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:38,685
10 grand?
Oh, that cheap ass.
481
00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:40,687
All right.
I got a better deal for you.
482
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,821
I'll double it.
I'll pay you 20
483
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,056
If you go back there
and do him.
484
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,059
Uh, you want us
to do a guy?
485
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:47,727
No way.
486
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,929
Um, i don't know,
butt-Head.
487
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,898
That is
a lot of money.
488
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:55,468
Maybe if we close our eyes and
pretend he's a chick...Aah!
489
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:02,642
Damn.
490
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,811
You two wait
right there.
491
00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:07,246
Uh...huh
huh huh.
492
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,881
I'm ready
for love.
493
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:11,450
Yeah! I don't
believe this.
494
00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:19,859
Hmm.
495
00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,796
Yeah, las vegas.
496
00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:26,566
Give me the number
for dream america tours.
497
00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:27,600
Right.
498
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,902
Uh, huh huh huh,
uh, huh huh.
499
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:32,839
Yeah. You got
a bus leaving today?
500
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,106
Where's it going?
501
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,175
Washington, d.C.
502
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:38,578
5 minutes? Perfect.
503
00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:40,112
Give me 2 tickets.
504
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:42,014
Wait, butt-Head.
You always go first.
505
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:45,217
Damn it, beavis,
we've never done this before.
506
00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:46,819
Aah!
507
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:49,121
Oh, uh...
huh huh...
508
00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:51,924
Wanna...you know...
uh, huh huh...
509
00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:53,125
Do it?
Heh heh.
510
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,794
Hey,
we're finally gonna score!
511
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,028
Do it?
512
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:56,829
Ow!
513
00:24:56,863 --> 00:25:01,067
You guys wanna...
score? Oh, ho ho.
514
00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:02,168
Damn it!
515
00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:05,171
Ow! Cut it out!
516
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,272
You wait here.
517
00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:07,273
Bunghole!
518
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:09,609
Damn it!
Ow! Aah!
519
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:26,292
Aah!
520
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:28,527
Uh...huh
huh huh.
521
00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:32,632
Aah!
522
00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:33,733
Uh...huh
huh huh.
523
00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:35,201
No!
524
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:40,306
Aah! Aah! Aah!
525
00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:41,307
Ahem!
526
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:42,074
Aah!
527
00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:43,943
Don't wear yourselves out,
boys.
528
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:46,913
Save some energy
for me.
529
00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:48,748
Uh, huh huh huh.
530
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,950
Hm hm, heh heh.
531
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:54,754
This is it, beavis.
We're finally gonna score.
532
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:57,056
Heh heh...
thank god.
533
00:25:57,089 --> 00:25:59,792
Oh, yeah. We're gonna do it,
all right.
534
00:25:59,826 --> 00:26:01,694
Uh, huh huh huh...
heh heh heh...
535
00:26:01,728 --> 00:26:03,229
Heh heh, oh, yeah!
Uh, huh huh...
536
00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:04,230
Ahem!
537
00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:07,667
Boys...boys...
538
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,001
Boys!
539
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,205
First, you have to do
a little job for me.
540
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:16,242
Would you like to do
a little job for me?
541
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:17,877
Here's what it is.
542
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:21,247
I want you to take the bus
to washington, d.C.
543
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,049
That's all.
544
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:26,285
Then when you get there,
i'll be waiting.
545
00:26:26,318 --> 00:26:29,155
You're gonna make
a whole lot of money,
546
00:26:29,188 --> 00:26:31,624
And i'm gonna give you
everything.
547
00:26:31,658 --> 00:26:33,626
Uh, huh huh huh.
548
00:26:33,660 --> 00:26:35,695
Hm hm, heh heh.
549
00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:36,829
Until then...
550
00:26:36,863 --> 00:26:39,699
Keep your pants on.
551
00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:43,870
Now, your bus is downstairs waiting,
so get going.
552
00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,838
Uh, huh huh huh...
553
00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:48,107
Hm hm, heh heh...
554
00:26:51,878 --> 00:26:53,245
Let's go!
555
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:54,981
On 3!
556
00:26:56,749 --> 00:26:58,918
This is gonna be cool.
557
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,053
Can't wait. Heh heh.
558
00:27:06,425 --> 00:27:07,293
Ow.
559
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:10,396
Get outta there, beavis.
I want the window.
560
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:11,931
No, butt-Head!
561
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,801
Why don't ya
take turns?
562
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,235
Hey, butt-Head,
check it out.
563
00:27:16,268 --> 00:27:18,037
It's that slut
from the plane.
564
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:21,273
Oh, why,
it's you two.
565
00:27:21,307 --> 00:27:23,843
How'd you do
in las vegas?
566
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,244
Um, we didn't
score yet.
567
00:27:25,277 --> 00:27:28,948
Oh, well, i'm sorry
to hear that.
568
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:31,417
Me, i took
a beating.
569
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,384
Cool.
570
00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:37,056
So that's why i'm bussing
it across america.
571
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:39,291
I'm so glad
you're here.
572
00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:43,229
Jim, jim! I want you
to meet two nice boys.
573
00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:44,831
Uh...oh...
574
00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:46,298
This is travis
and bob.
575
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:48,234
What's your
last name, dear?
576
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:49,869
Uh, head.
577
00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:52,772
My first name's butt.
Uh, huh huh.
578
00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:54,073
Hm hm, heh heh.
579
00:27:58,210 --> 00:27:59,378
Agent flemming, atf.
580
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:02,181
So, are you gonna
tell us where it is
581
00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:05,051
Or will i have to have
agent hurly over there
582
00:28:05,084 --> 00:28:06,853
Give you another
cavity search?
583
00:28:06,886 --> 00:28:09,856
Mmm. Is that a promise?
584
00:28:09,889 --> 00:28:12,458
Look, mrs. Scum,
we know who you are.
585
00:28:12,491 --> 00:28:13,860
Tell her, bork.
586
00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:16,428
Dallas grimes,
married to muddy grimes.
587
00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:19,698
You run a mom-And-Pop
arms smuggling ring.
588
00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:22,969
Mmph. You got
my bad side.
589
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:24,837
3 days ago,
you pulled a job
590
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,774
At the army research facility in hadley,
nevada,
591
00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:30,076
Where you stole
the x-5 unit.
592
00:28:30,109 --> 00:28:32,478
We happen to know you
had the unit with you
593
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:33,645
When you
checked in here,
594
00:28:33,679 --> 00:28:37,283
So why don't you be a good
girl and tell us where it is?
595
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,886
You gonna charge me
with anything?
596
00:28:39,919 --> 00:28:40,887
I didn't think so.
597
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,521
You wanna
let me go now,
598
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,925
Or wait till my lawyer
files a wrongful arrest?
599
00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:47,126
We got nothing,
chief.
600
00:28:47,159 --> 00:28:48,527
We tore
the place apart.
601
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,897
We can only legally hold her
another couple of hours.
602
00:28:50,930 --> 00:28:53,099
Damn it!
Cut her loose.
603
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:55,367
Where is that damn unit?
604
00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:58,270
Uh, huh huh huh.
605
00:28:58,304 --> 00:29:00,072
We're in
washington.
606
00:29:00,106 --> 00:29:01,974
Yeah, yeah.
We're gonna score now.
607
00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:05,978
Actually, son, we're
at the hoover dam.
608
00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:08,981
Um, no, no.
We're in washington!
609
00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:12,852
Yeah. We're
gonna score now!
610
00:29:14,854 --> 00:29:17,189
Tour guide:
over 40,000 tons of concrete
611
00:29:17,223 --> 00:29:20,192
Were used in the construction
of the hoover dam.
612
00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:23,262
From top to bottom,
the dam is 51 stories.
613
00:29:23,295 --> 00:29:25,464
It has a maximum capacity
for generating
614
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:28,267
Wow. Really?
2.074 megawatts of electricity,
615
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,470
But on the average,
it generates about 25% of that.
616
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:32,839
I'll be damned.
617
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:34,006
Can anybody tell me
618
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,408
How much energy it takes
to power las vegas?
619
00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,310
Um, yeah, i just
have a question.
620
00:29:38,344 --> 00:29:41,147
Is this a god dam?
Hm hm, heh heh.
621
00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:42,214
Huh huh huh.
622
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:44,416
You know, god damn.
You know?
623
00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:47,253
Guide: if you'll
follow me this way.
624
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:50,589
This is dumb.
Let's go find that chick.
625
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:53,025
Yeah. Enough
of this crap.
626
00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:55,594
Whoa. Check it out,
butt-Head...Tv!
627
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,263
Cool.
628
00:29:59,198 --> 00:30:00,900
I gotta hit
the head.
629
00:30:00,933 --> 00:30:02,601
Can you get me
some coffee?
630
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,903
All right.
631
00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:08,040
Talk to me, bork.
632
00:30:08,074 --> 00:30:09,909
Chief, we found
a witness
633
00:30:09,942 --> 00:30:12,244
That says he saw 2 teenagers leaving dallas'
room
634
00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:13,379
Shortly before
we arrived.
635
00:30:13,412 --> 00:30:16,015
Did you give him
a full cavity search?
636
00:30:16,048 --> 00:30:18,217
Uh...the witness?
637
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,452
Yes. You can never be
too careful, bork.
638
00:30:20,486 --> 00:30:22,922
Sir,
i didn't really think it was necessary.
639
00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:24,924
You see, we have
a picture of them
640
00:30:24,957 --> 00:30:26,225
From the elevator
security cam.
641
00:30:26,258 --> 00:30:27,927
Here. Have a look.
642
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,128
What the hell?
643
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:32,031
They look like a couple of kids,
chief.
644
00:30:32,064 --> 00:30:34,633
Don't you realize what
kids today are capable of?
645
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,402
Don't you read
the papers?
646
00:30:36,435 --> 00:30:37,836
What the...
647
00:30:39,571 --> 00:30:41,240
Damn it!
648
00:30:41,273 --> 00:30:43,475
All they have is these
shows about water.
649
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:44,243
Yeah, really.
650
00:30:44,276 --> 00:30:47,079
They need some
shows about fire.
651
00:30:47,113 --> 00:30:49,949
Uh, what are you
doing, beavis?
652
00:30:49,982 --> 00:30:52,651
Something's wrong
with my butt.
653
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,254
Your butt sucks.
654
00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:58,057
Hey, how come
there's no sound?
655
00:30:58,090 --> 00:31:00,259
Uh...i'll fix it.
656
00:31:03,495 --> 00:31:04,897
Uh...
657
00:31:07,399 --> 00:31:10,269
Yeah, yeah! There you go.
Louder! Louder!
658
00:31:10,302 --> 00:31:14,640
Uh, huh huh...
hmm...huh huh...
659
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,109
Uh...
660
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:20,947
Mas-Ter-A...
661
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:22,281
Masturbation?
662
00:31:22,314 --> 00:31:24,350
Uh, huh huh huh!
663
00:31:34,026 --> 00:31:35,561
You know,
i'll tell you what.
664
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:38,297
It doesn't get
any better than this.
665
00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:40,266
This here is
god's country.
666
00:31:40,299 --> 00:31:41,433
Unspoiled and...
667
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:44,203
Aaaaah!
668
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:46,005
Uh...
669
00:31:46,038 --> 00:31:48,975
I think i found
the remote.
670
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:53,445
What the hell's
going on?
671
00:32:00,186 --> 00:32:02,288
I swear, that's
all i know.
672
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,156
They got on
the tour bus.
673
00:32:04,190 --> 00:32:06,158
It was probably
heading west.
674
00:32:06,192 --> 00:32:07,960
Uhh! Please...
675
00:32:07,994 --> 00:32:09,928
I'm gonna kill 'em!
676
00:32:12,198 --> 00:32:14,133
That was boring.
677
00:32:14,166 --> 00:32:18,170
Yeah, yeah.
Just the same thing, over and over again.
678
00:32:18,204 --> 00:32:19,505
Uh, wait a minute.
679
00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:21,173
We can't leave
washington
680
00:32:21,207 --> 00:32:22,708
Till we find
that chick.
681
00:32:22,741 --> 00:32:26,178
Oh, we're a long way from washington,
bob.
682
00:32:26,212 --> 00:32:29,315
This is
the hoover dam.
683
00:32:29,348 --> 00:32:31,583
Dam. I'll
be damned.
684
00:32:31,617 --> 00:32:33,619
Heh heh.
685
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:40,559
You boys better show up.
686
00:32:44,263 --> 00:32:46,232
Do you see
what i see, bork?
687
00:32:46,265 --> 00:32:48,467
I see it.
I just don't get it.
688
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,736
You got half the state
looking for you.
689
00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:52,171
How do you get away?
690
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:53,172
Cut the power!
691
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:54,306
Damn right.
692
00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,408
Bork, we're dealing
with real pros here.
693
00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:58,177
My opinion: terrorists.
694
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:00,179
What's the scoop on
that stolen unit?
695
00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:02,081
Well, sir,
it's not good.
696
00:33:02,114 --> 00:33:03,715
Roll the tape.
697
00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:07,486
The x-5 unit is a new
top-Secret biological weapon...
698
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:11,190
A man-Made virus,
the deadliest known to man.
699
00:33:11,223 --> 00:33:14,093
It could wipe out
5 states in 5 days.
700
00:33:14,126 --> 00:33:15,361
Here's what happened
701
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:18,497
When it was tested on a
group of army recruits.
702
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:20,499
Look at these guys,
chief.
703
00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:24,503
This thing is a veritable
doomsday device.
704
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:25,737
Jesus jumped-Up
christ!
705
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:28,640
If this were to fall
into the wrong hands...
706
00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:31,210
It gets worse.
The unit wasn't finished.
707
00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:32,644
It has a flaw...
The casing.
708
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:35,114
If hit hard enough,
it could break open,
709
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:36,382
Releasing the virus.
710
00:33:36,415 --> 00:33:37,649
Ok, people,
as of right now,
711
00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:40,519
These are the most
dangerous men in america.
712
00:33:40,552 --> 00:33:44,523
I want these faces in front of
every fed and 2-Bit sheriff
713
00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,225
Within a thousand miles.
714
00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:47,759
The orders are
dead or alive.
715
00:33:47,793 --> 00:33:50,762
Let's just pray that
nothing hits that unit.
716
00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:52,131
Ow! Ow!
717
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:53,132
Cut it out,
butt-Head!
718
00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:54,333
Get outta the way,
beavis.
719
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:55,634
I wanna sit
by the window.
720
00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:56,468
Ow!
721
00:33:56,502 --> 00:33:59,571
Ok, people, next stop:
grand canyon.
722
00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:24,230
Uh, huh huh huh...
723
00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:25,697
Hm hm, heh heh...
724
00:34:25,731 --> 00:34:26,865
Uh, huh huh huh...
725
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:27,699
Hm hm, heh heh...
726
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,569
It's, like, it's
coming out of his ass,
727
00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:34,273
But then it's, like,
also coming out of the ass of the ass.
728
00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:38,477
It's like the poop's coming
out of the ass of the ass.
729
00:34:38,510 --> 00:34:39,478
Heh heh. Yeah!
730
00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:42,714
* feel the pressure rise
731
00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:44,383
* hear the whistle blow...
732
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:46,785
Uh, huh huh huh.
733
00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:51,290
* bought a ticket
of her own accord *
734
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,759
* to i dunno
735
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,496
* packed her heart
in a travelin' bag... *
736
00:34:57,529 --> 00:34:58,630
Uh, huh huh huh.
Hm hm, heh heh.
737
00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:02,634
* never said good-Bye
738
00:35:02,668 --> 00:35:06,505
* somethin' missin'
in the neighborhood *
739
00:35:06,538 --> 00:35:09,641
* of her cryin' eyes
740
00:35:11,243 --> 00:35:15,414
* i stirred my coffee
with the same spoon *
741
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,184
* knew her favorite tune
742
00:35:19,185 --> 00:35:21,187
* gone shootin'
743
00:35:24,490 --> 00:35:27,359
Ranger: there are over
200 active geysers
744
00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,361
In yellowstone park.
745
00:35:29,395 --> 00:35:32,264
Old faithful here
is one of the largest.
746
00:35:32,298 --> 00:35:36,935
During an eruption,
the water can reach as high as 200 feet.
747
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:37,936
So?
748
00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:39,271
Hm hm,
heh heh.
749
00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:40,772
Uh, the geyser
750
00:35:40,806 --> 00:35:46,678
Shoots out over 12,000 gallons
of water in a single eruption.
751
00:35:46,712 --> 00:35:48,480
That's not that much,
really.
752
00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:50,616
Yeah, really.
Let's get outta here.
753
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:53,385
If you'll just
step over here,
754
00:35:53,419 --> 00:35:55,921
The geyser
is seconds away...
755
00:36:01,227 --> 00:36:03,362
Oh, it's
incredible.
756
00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:04,563
Oh, oh, yeah.
757
00:36:04,596 --> 00:36:06,298
That's amazing.
758
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:08,834
It's incredible.
759
00:36:09,868 --> 00:36:11,903
That's amazing.
760
00:36:11,937 --> 00:36:13,539
Uh, huh huh huh.
761
00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:14,540
Hm hm, heh heh.
762
00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:15,541
Uh, huh huh huh.
763
00:36:15,574 --> 00:36:17,576
Hm hm, heh heh.
764
00:36:17,609 --> 00:36:19,278
Uh, huh huh huh.
765
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:20,579
Hm hm, heh heh.
766
00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:21,580
Uh, huh huh huh.
767
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:22,814
Hm hm, heh heh.
768
00:36:27,453 --> 00:36:30,222
can't
wait forever.
769
00:36:32,791 --> 00:36:33,892
Damn kids.
770
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:36,362
No respect.
771
00:36:36,395 --> 00:36:38,297
Don't appreciate
anything.
772
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:39,898
Oh, my god!
773
00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,301
Wait! Stop!
774
00:36:42,334 --> 00:36:43,902
Darn it.
775
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:46,472
Get me the police.
776
00:36:46,505 --> 00:36:48,540
Uh, huh huh huh.
Hm hm, heh heh.
777
00:36:48,574 --> 00:36:52,611
This is the coolest
thing i have ever seen.
778
00:36:54,646 --> 00:36:56,014
Chief, we got 'em.
779
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,317
They're on a senior
citizens tour bus
780
00:36:58,350 --> 00:36:59,718
Going south
on highway 89.
781
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:02,921
Ah...heh...
yeah, that was great.
782
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,222
Yeah.
783
00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:13,565
Uh...is this
the right bus?
784
00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:15,267
Um...heh heh.
785
00:37:16,502 --> 00:37:19,471
Uh, huh huh huh.
786
00:37:19,505 --> 00:37:22,908
Hey, beavis,
we're on a bus with chicks.
787
00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:26,645
Hey, baby.
788
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:31,417
They're not
on the bus.
789
00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:33,051
These people
know something.
790
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:36,522
I want full cavity searches...
Everyone.
791
00:37:36,555 --> 00:37:37,889
Go deep on 'em.
792
00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:38,890
Agent hurly.
793
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:39,891
I tell you, bork,
794
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,328
These guys are
smart, damn smart.
795
00:37:42,361 --> 00:37:45,597
They're probably a hundred
miles away by now.
796
00:37:45,631 --> 00:37:49,267
Uh, huh huh...
uh, huh huh huh.
797
00:37:54,473 --> 00:37:56,642
Hey, butt-Head,
this book kicks ass.
798
00:37:56,675 --> 00:37:59,378
There's this talking snake,
and a naked chick,
799
00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:02,914
And then this dude puts
a leaf on his schlong.
800
00:38:02,948 --> 00:38:04,316
Cool.
801
00:38:05,851 --> 00:38:09,821
Uh...uh...
802
00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:11,390
Ow!
803
00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:19,365
Uh, huh huh huh.
804
00:38:19,398 --> 00:38:20,966
Hm hm, heh heh.
805
00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:40,452
Check it out,
butt-Head...
806
00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:41,553
Porta-Potties.
807
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:42,554
Cool.
808
00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:45,691
I gotta take
a dump.
809
00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:47,459
Uh, huh huh huh.
810
00:38:47,493 --> 00:38:49,461
Hm hm, heh heh.
811
00:38:49,495 --> 00:38:52,097
Uh...where's
the toilet?
812
00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:01,840
Forgive me, father.
I've sinned.
813
00:39:01,873 --> 00:39:04,710
I...I slept with
a woman, and, uh...
814
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:06,678
Butt-Head: really?
Uh, huh huh.
815
00:39:06,712 --> 00:39:08,113
Was she naked?
816
00:39:08,146 --> 00:39:11,450
Well, yes, father.
Please forgive me.
817
00:39:11,483 --> 00:39:13,485
Cool!
Uh, huh huh.
818
00:39:13,519 --> 00:39:16,555
Could you, like,
see her boobs?
819
00:39:16,588 --> 00:39:17,823
Uh, huh huh huh.
820
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:21,126
Uh, i'm sorry.
How many hail marys?
821
00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:22,127
1,000! Heh heh...
822
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,564
And i want you to hit yourself, right now!
Heh.
823
00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:26,765
Uh, now?
824
00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,667
Yeah...do it!
825
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:29,668
ohh!
826
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:30,669
Yeah, yeah!
Harder.
827
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:31,670
ow!
828
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:32,671
Do it again.
829
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:34,039
oww! Aah!
830
00:39:34,072 --> 00:39:35,474
Uh, huh huh huh.
831
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:36,575
Hm hm, heh heh.
832
00:39:36,608 --> 00:39:37,976
Uh, huh huh huh.
833
00:39:40,612 --> 00:39:42,681
Heh...hm hm.
834
00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:45,784
Recording: welcome to
the petrified forest,
835
00:39:45,817 --> 00:39:49,154
The world's largest site
of petrified wood.
836
00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:50,489
Uh, huh huh huh.
837
00:39:50,522 --> 00:39:51,590
Hm hm, heh heh.
838
00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:53,425
"Wood."
Huh huh huh!
839
00:39:53,459 --> 00:39:57,496
Recording: you may wonder,
"how can wood get so hard?"
840
00:39:57,529 --> 00:39:58,497
Uh, huh huh huh.
841
00:39:58,530 --> 00:39:59,798
Hm hm, heh heh.
842
00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:04,069
Well, the wood became hard
over 2 million years ago.
843
00:40:10,509 --> 00:40:12,043
Uh, huh
huh huh.
844
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:13,178
Hm hm,
heh heh.
845
00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:14,513
Uh, huh huh huh.
846
00:40:14,546 --> 00:40:15,681
Hm hm, heh heh.
847
00:40:15,714 --> 00:40:17,549
Uh, huh huh huh.
848
00:40:17,583 --> 00:40:19,451
Hm hm, heh heh.
849
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:25,724
Wood. Uh,
huh huh...
850
00:40:26,725 --> 00:40:28,927
Hey, where'd
those chicks go?
851
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,030
I think you
scared them off.
852
00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:35,200
This sucks.
What are we doing here?
853
00:40:35,233 --> 00:40:38,069
Uh...i don't know.
854
00:40:39,671 --> 00:40:42,941
Uh, do you know
where washington is?
855
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:46,211
Uh, yeah.
About 2,000 miles that way.
856
00:40:46,244 --> 00:40:49,147
Cool.
Thanks.
857
00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:55,721
Didn't see which
way they went.
858
00:40:55,754 --> 00:40:56,955
Didn't see
their vehicle.
859
00:40:56,988 --> 00:40:59,525
I don't suppose you
tried to stop them.
860
00:40:59,558 --> 00:41:01,960
The most dangerous guys in america?
No, thank you.
861
00:41:01,993 --> 00:41:03,595
I make $9.00 an hour.
862
00:41:03,629 --> 00:41:07,533
National security is the
responsibility of every american.
863
00:41:07,566 --> 00:41:08,534
Bork...
864
00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:09,635
Cavity search?
865
00:41:09,668 --> 00:41:11,269
Deep and hard.
866
00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:12,103
Agent hurly.
867
00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,972
They're not gonna
get away this time.
868
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:18,510
I want roadblocks every road
out of here for 200 miles.
869
00:41:28,954 --> 00:41:32,991
Um...this sucks.
It's all hot and stuff.
870
00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:34,926
This desert
is stupid.
871
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,929
They need to put a drinking
fountain out here.
872
00:41:37,963 --> 00:41:42,033
Yeah, like, a 7-Eleven
or something. Heh.
873
00:41:47,639 --> 00:41:49,541
Somethin' wrong,
officer?
874
00:41:49,575 --> 00:41:51,677
Sir, we're looking for
these two fugitives.
875
00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:53,111
Well, i'll be danged.
876
00:41:53,144 --> 00:41:56,882
That's them two kids that have been whackin'
in my camper.
877
00:41:56,915 --> 00:41:58,016
You saw these two?
878
00:41:58,049 --> 00:42:00,952
I sure did.
Boy, i never seen two kids
879
00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:02,754
Do so much
damned whackin'.
880
00:42:02,788 --> 00:42:04,255
Blue denim,
this is post 9.
881
00:42:04,289 --> 00:42:05,423
I have positive i.D.
882
00:42:05,456 --> 00:42:08,259
They're just like a couple of
little old spider monkeys...
883
00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:10,929
I'll have to ask you to
step out of the vehicle.
884
00:42:10,962 --> 00:42:13,164
Now, wait a minute.
Me and the missis here
885
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:15,300
Are on our way
to washington, d.C...
886
00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,002
Now!
887
00:42:18,904 --> 00:42:20,138
Now, wait
right there.
888
00:42:20,171 --> 00:42:23,041
You're dealing with a
veteran of 2 foreign wars.
889
00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:25,043
They're the ones
been whackin'.
890
00:42:25,076 --> 00:42:26,912
I find anything
broken in there,
891
00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:30,248
You and i are
gonna tangle.
892
00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:33,184
Masturbating in
the man's camper.
893
00:42:33,218 --> 00:42:35,821
We're dealing with
two sick individuals.
894
00:42:35,854 --> 00:42:37,823
I want that camper
torn apart,
895
00:42:37,856 --> 00:42:39,858
Full cavity searches
all around.
896
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:42,894
Something tells me he
could be involved.
897
00:42:42,928 --> 00:42:43,895
What in the hell...
898
00:42:43,929 --> 00:42:44,996
Now wait
just a minute!
899
00:42:45,030 --> 00:42:46,264
Chief, just came in.
900
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:49,067
2 days ago,
express airways had a disturbance
901
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:52,170
By someone calling
himself "cornholio."
902
00:42:52,203 --> 00:42:54,640
Guess who matches
the description?
903
00:42:54,673 --> 00:42:57,308
Finally,
a real break.
904
00:42:57,342 --> 00:42:59,745
Get me that
flash point of origin.
905
00:42:59,778 --> 00:43:01,680
We're gonna kick some ass.
906
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:04,683
Uh, huh
huh... heh.
907
00:43:04,716 --> 00:43:06,351
Uh, huh
huh huh. Nuhn.
908
00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:07,352
Uh, huh huh...
909
00:43:07,385 --> 00:43:09,755
Hm hm, heh.
910
00:43:09,788 --> 00:43:11,222
Uh...
911
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:17,095
Uh, huh...hey!
One of you bastards got a match?
912
00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:20,966
Uh, yeah...
My butt and your...
913
00:43:20,999 --> 00:43:23,902
Uh...butt,
huh huh huh.
914
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:27,272
Uh, huh huh huh huh huh.
Uh, huh huh.
915
00:43:27,305 --> 00:43:28,974
Uh, huh huh huh.
916
00:43:29,007 --> 00:43:31,242
Hm hm, heh heh.
917
00:43:31,276 --> 00:43:31,977
Uh, huh huh huh.
918
00:43:32,010 --> 00:43:34,980
Hm hm, heh heh.
Uh, huh huh huh.
919
00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:37,983
And here's a song
that might help you cope
920
00:43:38,016 --> 00:43:39,885
With some of
those feelings, ok?
921
00:43:39,918 --> 00:43:43,121
It's called
lesbian seagull.
922
00:43:44,155 --> 00:43:46,892
* she flies so gracefully
923
00:43:46,925 --> 00:43:49,895
* over rocks, trees,
and sand... *
924
00:43:51,863 --> 00:43:53,098
* soaring over cliffs
925
00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:58,136
* and gently
floating down to land *
926
00:43:58,169 --> 00:44:00,906
* she proudly
lifts her voice *
927
00:44:00,939 --> 00:44:04,876
* to sound the mating call
928
00:44:04,910 --> 00:44:07,012
* and soon
her mate responds *
929
00:44:07,045 --> 00:44:11,817
* by singing,
"caw caw caw" *
930
00:44:11,850 --> 00:44:17,255
* come with me,
lesbian seagull *
931
00:44:18,924 --> 00:44:23,128
* settle down
and rest with me *
932
00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:26,197
* fly high
933
00:44:26,231 --> 00:44:28,433
* lesbian seagull...
934
00:44:29,434 --> 00:44:33,071
Uh, that's him!
He's their teacher!
935
00:44:33,104 --> 00:44:34,439
Uh, huh, yeah.
936
00:44:34,472 --> 00:44:36,875
Uh, what's
going on here?
937
00:44:36,908 --> 00:44:38,443
I'll ask the questions.
938
00:44:38,476 --> 00:44:40,045
Are these your students?
939
00:44:40,078 --> 00:44:42,313
I assume you're
a government agent.
940
00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:44,315
I would think
you would know
941
00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:48,186
There is something in this
country called due process, ok?
942
00:44:48,219 --> 00:44:49,988
That's the kind
of talk i'd expect
943
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:52,023
From the guy who
taught these two.
944
00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:53,358
Take this scum away.
945
00:44:53,391 --> 00:44:56,995
I believe i'm supposed to
be read my miranda rights.
946
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:58,964
Now...Whaa!
947
00:44:58,997 --> 00:45:01,366
I always knew
they were no good.
948
00:45:01,399 --> 00:45:02,533
Uh, i hate...
949
00:45:02,567 --> 00:45:06,805
Shut up! You've been harboring
two criminal masterminds.
950
00:45:06,838 --> 00:45:08,139
Ohh, ohh...
951
00:45:08,173 --> 00:45:09,340
Chief,
you know that guy
952
00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:11,076
Whose camper they
were whackin' off in?
953
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:13,211
Bork, you are
a federal agent.
954
00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:15,413
You represent the united
states government.
955
00:45:15,446 --> 00:45:18,349
Never end a sentence
with a preposition.
956
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:20,218
Oh. Uh...
957
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:23,321
You know that guy
in whose camper they...
958
00:45:23,354 --> 00:45:27,492
I...I mean that guy off in whose
camper they were whacking?
959
00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:28,693
That's better. Yes?
960
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:31,529
We've run a sample through the
national criminal sperm bank
961
00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:35,066
And come up with 2 possible
genetic matches for a father.
962
00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:38,904
Former motley crue roadies
turned drifters.
963
00:45:41,006 --> 00:45:43,241
You were a roadie
for motley crue?
964
00:45:43,274 --> 00:45:43,975
Yep.
965
00:45:44,009 --> 00:45:46,978
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh huh huh huh.
966
00:45:47,012 --> 00:45:49,915
Aha...fire.
967
00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:52,517
Uh, here's
another true story.
968
00:45:52,550 --> 00:45:54,219
About 15 years ago,
969
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:56,221
We stopped
in this toilet,
970
00:45:56,254 --> 00:45:58,389
Uh, called highland.
971
00:45:58,423 --> 00:46:00,458
Really? That's
where we're from.
972
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:03,862
Well, then you know
what i'm talking about.
973
00:46:03,895 --> 00:46:05,530
Anyway,
here's the story.
974
00:46:05,563 --> 00:46:08,834
I scored with these 2 chicks.
True story.
975
00:46:08,867 --> 00:46:10,535
Uh heh heh heh.
Yeah, me, too.
976
00:46:10,568 --> 00:46:13,038
You scored
with 2 chicks?
977
00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:15,874
Yeah.
They were sluts.
978
00:46:19,377 --> 00:46:20,178
Aah!
979
00:46:20,211 --> 00:46:21,913
Shut up, dumb-Ass!
980
00:46:21,947 --> 00:46:23,214
You didn't score.
981
00:46:23,248 --> 00:46:24,582
I scored with
both of them.
982
00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:30,155
Uh, do you think these 2
sluts still live in highland?
983
00:46:30,188 --> 00:46:32,490
That would be cool.
984
00:46:32,523 --> 00:46:36,427
Hey, you want to see
something really cool?
985
00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:39,197
Uh huh huh huh.
986
00:46:42,067 --> 00:46:44,335
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
987
00:46:47,205 --> 00:46:48,539
Beavis: fire!
988
00:46:57,148 --> 00:46:59,117
Ahh...
989
00:47:01,086 --> 00:47:02,320
Uh...
990
00:47:02,353 --> 00:47:04,589
Hmm. Where'd
those guys go?
991
00:47:04,622 --> 00:47:05,857
Yeah.
992
00:47:08,093 --> 00:47:10,028
Um...
993
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:11,930
Are we almost
there yet?
994
00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,198
Uh...
995
00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:17,102
Probably like another
5 minutes or something.
996
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,488
The sun sucks.
997
00:47:37,522 --> 00:47:38,990
Yeah.
998
00:47:39,024 --> 00:47:40,658
Cut it out,
butt-Hole!
999
00:47:43,661 --> 00:47:45,463
Hey, butt-Head...
1000
00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:49,267
Isn't there supposed to be,
like, water in cactuses?
1001
00:47:50,601 --> 00:47:52,137
Uh...
1002
00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:02,213
Hey, beavis...
1003
00:48:02,247 --> 00:48:04,249
Check it out.
1004
00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:08,987
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1005
00:48:09,020 --> 00:48:12,490
Well, no,
i can't say that i've seen them, officer.
1006
00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:14,525
I sure hope it's safe
to drive around here.
1007
00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:16,461
Don't worry, sir. Just
stick to the main roads.
1008
00:48:16,494 --> 00:48:19,197
If they're around,
they're probably hiding out in the desert.
1009
00:48:19,230 --> 00:48:21,632
Well, that's good
to know, officer.
1010
00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:23,568
Yeah.
1011
00:48:28,106 --> 00:48:30,208
Ohh...
1012
00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:31,676
Hey, butt-Head,
1013
00:48:31,709 --> 00:48:33,078
Are we gonna die?
1014
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:35,113
Uh...
1015
00:48:35,146 --> 00:48:37,648
Uh...probably.
1016
00:48:38,616 --> 00:48:39,717
Whoa!
1017
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:44,922
I think my life is, like,
flashing in front of my eyes.
1018
00:48:57,202 --> 00:48:59,204
Whoa...
1019
00:48:59,237 --> 00:49:02,507
My life was cool.
1020
00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:04,575
Oh, yeah...
1021
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:06,477
Wait a minute...
1022
00:49:06,511 --> 00:49:10,281
Um, i think i'm seeing
something, too.
1023
00:49:10,315 --> 00:49:12,217
It's, like, a really
long time ago.
1024
00:49:12,250 --> 00:49:13,584
Uh heh heh heh.
1025
00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:15,620
Yeah. Yeah, this
is gonna be cool.
1026
00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:19,624
Hey, how's
it going?
1027
00:49:22,227 --> 00:49:23,361
Aah!
1028
00:49:25,763 --> 00:49:27,598
Uh heh heh heh.
1029
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:28,599
Yeah.
1030
00:49:28,633 --> 00:49:30,535
I scored.
1031
00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:33,404
Hey, butt-Head,
1032
00:49:33,438 --> 00:49:35,773
I'm starting
to feel weird.
1033
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:38,043
I think
i'm freaking out.
1034
00:49:38,076 --> 00:49:39,477
Uh...ok.
1035
00:49:39,510 --> 00:49:41,746
Whoa, this is cool.
1036
00:49:41,779 --> 00:49:42,813
It's like...
1037
00:49:42,847 --> 00:49:46,684
It's like everything looks all weird,
and, you know.
1038
00:49:46,717 --> 00:49:49,354
It's like there's all
these weird shapes and...
1039
00:49:49,387 --> 00:49:54,025
And it's sort of like...
It's like a music video.
1040
00:49:55,293 --> 00:49:57,262
What are you doing,
butt-Head? Stop it!
1041
00:49:57,295 --> 00:49:59,997
You're freaking me out!
Cut it out!
1042
00:50:01,099 --> 00:50:02,500
What's going on?
1043
00:50:13,411 --> 00:50:15,813
There's a problem here.
1044
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,515
Ohh!
1045
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,455
Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1046
00:50:24,489 --> 00:50:26,657
Fire! Fire! Fire!
1047
00:50:26,691 --> 00:50:27,758
Oh, yes!
1048
00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:39,597
Aah!
Unh!
1049
00:51:39,630 --> 00:51:40,765
Aah!
I'm all wet!
1050
00:51:40,798 --> 00:51:41,832
Uh...
1051
00:51:41,866 --> 00:51:43,868
Oh, hey, cool.
1052
00:51:43,901 --> 00:51:45,436
Yeah. Water.
1053
00:51:46,371 --> 00:51:47,905
Oh, i'm gonna enjoy this.
1054
00:51:48,673 --> 00:51:51,376
Any last words
before i kill you?
1055
00:51:51,409 --> 00:51:53,744
Uh...
1056
00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:56,247
I have a couple.
1057
00:51:56,281 --> 00:51:57,482
Butt cheeks.
1058
00:51:57,515 --> 00:51:58,483
Yeah, yeah!
1059
00:51:58,516 --> 00:52:01,186
And, um,
and boobs.
1060
00:52:01,219 --> 00:52:02,253
I just wanna say
that again.
1061
00:52:02,287 --> 00:52:03,288
Boobs.
1062
00:52:03,321 --> 00:52:04,622
I'm gonna blow you
both to hell,
1063
00:52:04,655 --> 00:52:06,157
That's what
i'm gonna do!
1064
00:52:06,191 --> 00:52:09,294
Cool. Whoa.
1065
00:52:09,327 --> 00:52:10,728
Hey, beavis,
that's that dude
1066
00:52:10,761 --> 00:52:13,164
That's paying us
to do his wife.
1067
00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:14,765
Oh, yeah, yeah.
1068
00:52:14,799 --> 00:52:16,767
Um,
can you just take us to washington?
1069
00:52:16,801 --> 00:52:18,936
We're gonna meet her there and,
you know, um...
1070
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:20,305
Heh heh. You know.
1071
00:52:20,338 --> 00:52:21,939
Washington?
1072
00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:23,608
That's where she's gonna
meet up with you?
1073
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:26,777
You know, i just might
need you boys, after all.
1074
00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,279
All right.
Get in the trunk.
1075
00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:30,248
Both of you. Now!
1076
00:52:34,885 --> 00:52:37,555
Butt-Head: boy,
it sure is hard to score.
1077
00:52:37,588 --> 00:52:39,524
Beavis:
yeah, really.
1078
00:52:49,267 --> 00:52:52,437
hey, hey, butt-Head,
check it out...
1079
00:52:52,470 --> 00:52:53,571
A jack.
1080
00:52:53,604 --> 00:52:56,507
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1081
00:53:01,812 --> 00:53:04,349
* i met a magic man
1082
00:53:04,382 --> 00:53:06,617
* who had a daughter
1083
00:53:06,651 --> 00:53:08,819
* she learned
her lessons well *
1084
00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:11,289
* but still
i taught her... *
1085
00:53:11,322 --> 00:53:12,523
Butt-Head: jack.
1086
00:53:12,557 --> 00:53:14,259
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1087
00:53:14,292 --> 00:53:15,893
* as lambs to slaughter
1088
00:53:15,926 --> 00:53:18,463
* we shared
forbidden fruit *
1089
00:53:18,496 --> 00:53:20,898
* and things
i brought her *
1090
00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:24,635
* you may say
i'm a miracle man *
1091
00:53:24,669 --> 00:53:27,438
hey, beavis,
check it out.
1092
00:53:27,472 --> 00:53:29,307
I'm jacking off.
1093
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:31,542
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1094
00:53:34,011 --> 00:53:34,712
Yeah.
1095
00:53:34,745 --> 00:53:37,382
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1096
00:53:37,415 --> 00:53:39,617
Uh...let's
get out of here.
1097
00:53:44,021 --> 00:53:46,657
You go first,
beavis.
1098
00:53:46,691 --> 00:53:48,659
Um, i don't know,
butt-Head.
1099
00:53:48,693 --> 00:53:50,995
That road's, like,
moving pretty fast and stuff.
1100
00:53:51,028 --> 00:53:51,696
Come on, beavis.
1101
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,498
Just start running
really fast
1102
00:53:53,531 --> 00:53:54,865
As soon as
you hit the ground.
1103
00:53:54,899 --> 00:53:55,866
It'll work.
1104
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:56,834
No way. You go.
1105
00:53:56,867 --> 00:53:58,669
Don't be a wuss,
beavis.
1106
00:53:59,870 --> 00:54:00,838
Aah!
1107
00:54:00,871 --> 00:54:02,006
Ow! Ow!
1108
00:54:03,641 --> 00:54:05,843
Ow!
1109
00:54:13,518 --> 00:54:15,252
That was cool.
1110
00:54:17,522 --> 00:54:19,357
Unh! Unh! Unh!
1111
00:54:19,390 --> 00:54:20,625
Unh!
1112
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:27,698
Boy, what i wouldn't
give for 5 minutes alone
1113
00:54:27,732 --> 00:54:29,900
With them
2 little bastards.
1114
00:54:29,934 --> 00:54:31,268
Aah!
1115
00:54:48,018 --> 00:54:49,987
Medic:
i need a trauma box over here right now!
1116
00:54:50,020 --> 00:54:52,923
Well, bob, the news
out here is not good.
1117
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:56,527
Authorities are calling this
the worst highway disaster
1118
00:54:56,561 --> 00:54:57,828
In the nation's history.
1119
00:54:57,862 --> 00:55:01,932
Behind me, over 400 vehicles
lay wrecked or stuck.
1120
00:55:01,966 --> 00:55:03,734
Chief, look!
No one knows what caused it,
1121
00:55:03,768 --> 00:55:04,935
But police
have not ruled out...
1122
00:55:04,969 --> 00:55:07,672
Well, i'll be
a blue-Nosed gopher.
1123
00:55:07,705 --> 00:55:09,874
Where did these guys
come from?
1124
00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:12,543
The question is,
where are they going?
1125
00:55:12,577 --> 00:55:16,547
In other news,
g-Pac is set to begin at 2 p.M. Tomorrow
1126
00:55:16,581 --> 00:55:18,115
When representatives
from around the world...
1127
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,817
What the hell?
1128
00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:22,453
Bork! That bus
we picked up,
1129
00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:23,488
Where was it
heading?
1130
00:55:23,521 --> 00:55:25,089
Uh, d.C., Chief.
1131
00:55:25,122 --> 00:55:26,691
Jesus jumped-Up...
1132
00:55:26,724 --> 00:55:28,726
Bork, can you imagine
what would happen
1133
00:55:28,759 --> 00:55:30,728
If they set that thing off
in our nation's capitol?
1134
00:55:30,761 --> 00:55:32,363
Or even worse!
1135
00:55:32,397 --> 00:55:34,765
If they sold it to some damn
foreigner at that conference?
1136
00:55:34,799 --> 00:55:36,601
Well, it's not
going to happen!
1137
00:55:39,904 --> 00:55:40,705
Whoa!
1138
00:55:40,738 --> 00:55:42,973
This kicks ass.
1139
00:55:43,007 --> 00:55:43,641
Yeah.
1140
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:47,111
Yoo-Hoo!
Travis and bob head!
1141
00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:48,646
Hellooo!
1142
00:55:48,679 --> 00:55:50,415
Hey, butt-Head,
it's that chick.
1143
00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:53,050
Uh, oh, yeah. Cool.
1144
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:54,719
Maybe they can take us
to washington,
1145
00:55:54,752 --> 00:55:56,521
And we can
finally score.
1146
00:55:56,554 --> 00:55:57,822
Yeah.
1147
00:55:57,855 --> 00:56:00,525
Um, isn't seattle
in washington?
1148
00:56:00,558 --> 00:56:04,094
Uh, yep.
It sure is.
1149
00:56:04,128 --> 00:56:04,929
Cool.
1150
00:56:04,962 --> 00:56:06,564
'Cause i was thinking
after we score,
1151
00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:08,032
Maybe we could
go see hole.
1152
00:56:08,065 --> 00:56:10,034
Uh huh huh huh.
Uh heh heh heh.
1153
00:56:10,067 --> 00:56:11,736
Butt-Head: hole.
1154
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:44,502
Hmm.
1155
00:56:52,477 --> 00:56:53,911
Muddy:
expecting somebody?
1156
00:56:53,944 --> 00:56:57,515
Well, well, look at this.
1157
00:56:57,548 --> 00:57:00,885
The love of my life.
1158
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:02,553
Where have you been?
1159
00:57:02,587 --> 00:57:05,790
Honey, i was gonna split it
with you after i sold it.
1160
00:57:05,823 --> 00:57:07,525
Right down the middle,
i swear. I just...
1161
00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:08,926
Sure you were,
1162
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:11,061
But now you don't have to go
to all that bother, do you?
1163
00:57:11,095 --> 00:57:14,064
Come on, muddy,
what do you say we just forget about it
1164
00:57:14,098 --> 00:57:16,634
And go get a room
like old times?
1165
00:57:16,667 --> 00:57:18,235
I don't think so.
1166
00:57:18,268 --> 00:57:19,169
Where is it?
1167
00:57:19,203 --> 00:57:22,907
All senators are
requested for a vote.
1168
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:25,743
All senators
are requested for a vote.
1169
00:57:25,776 --> 00:57:26,744
Can i help you?
1170
00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:27,745
Uh...
1171
00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:29,480
We're looking
for washington?
1172
00:57:29,514 --> 00:57:30,581
Yeah, yeah.
1173
00:57:30,615 --> 00:57:32,950
We're gonna meet this chick
with really big hooters.
1174
00:57:32,983 --> 00:57:34,952
Sirs,
you are in washington.
1175
00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:35,820
Really?
1176
00:57:35,853 --> 00:57:37,755
Well,
where is she?
1177
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:39,957
Uh, could you, like,
make an announcement
1178
00:57:39,990 --> 00:57:41,926
That we're ready
to score?
1179
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:42,893
No.
1180
00:57:42,927 --> 00:57:44,962
just a moment.
1181
00:57:44,995 --> 00:57:47,865
Hello?
How may i help you?
1182
00:57:50,568 --> 00:57:53,704
Butt-Head: uh...attention.
1183
00:57:53,738 --> 00:57:54,972
Attention.
1184
00:57:55,005 --> 00:57:57,708
We're looking for
the chick with big boobs.
1185
00:57:57,742 --> 00:57:58,709
Beavis: yeah! Yeah!
1186
00:57:58,743 --> 00:58:01,011
We are ready
to do you now.
1187
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,980
Both:
uh huh huh huh.
1188
00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:05,115
Senators:
uh huh huh huh.
1189
00:58:07,585 --> 00:58:11,188
I guess you forget who you're dealing with,
honey.
1190
00:58:11,221 --> 00:58:14,559
You see, i got your mules
right here in my trunk, and...
1191
00:58:14,592 --> 00:58:15,626
Hey!
1192
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,728
Oh, damn! Damn!
1193
00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:20,130
I am gonna kill them!
1194
00:58:20,164 --> 00:58:21,699
No, honey...
1195
00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:23,233
We're gonna kill them.
1196
00:58:25,770 --> 00:58:27,572
Driver: next stop,
white house.
1197
00:58:32,610 --> 00:58:33,644
Oh, man!
1198
00:58:33,678 --> 00:58:35,012
Hey, wait a minute!
What's going on?
1199
00:58:35,045 --> 00:58:36,781
Why are we getting
back on the bus?
1200
00:58:36,814 --> 00:58:38,783
It's time to go, son.
1201
00:58:38,816 --> 00:58:39,884
We can't leave!
1202
00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:41,185
We never met
that chick!
1203
00:58:41,218 --> 00:58:44,221
Damn it!
We were supposed to get some!
1204
00:58:44,254 --> 00:58:45,656
Settle down,
beavis.
1205
00:58:45,690 --> 00:58:47,692
No! I won't
settle down!
1206
00:58:47,725 --> 00:58:49,059
Not this time!
1207
00:58:49,093 --> 00:58:50,628
Damn it!
This always happens!
1208
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:53,197
I think i'm gonna score,
and then i never score!
1209
00:58:53,230 --> 00:58:54,665
It's not fair!
1210
00:58:54,699 --> 00:58:57,301
We traveled, um, um,
100 miles
1211
00:58:57,334 --> 00:58:58,969
'Cause we thought
we were gonna score!
1212
00:58:59,003 --> 00:59:00,905
But now it's not
gonna happen! Damn it!
1213
00:59:00,938 --> 00:59:02,239
Hey, buddy, sit down!
1214
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:03,774
Shut up, asswipe!
1215
00:59:03,808 --> 00:59:05,309
I'm sick and tired
of this!
1216
00:59:05,342 --> 00:59:06,777
We're never gonna score!
1217
00:59:06,811 --> 00:59:08,145
It's just
not gonna happen!
1218
00:59:08,178 --> 00:59:10,047
We're just gonna get old
like these people!
1219
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:11,215
But they've
probably scored!
1220
00:59:11,248 --> 00:59:13,150
Hey, i'm warning you!
Sit down!
1221
00:59:13,183 --> 00:59:15,219
It's, like,
this chick's a slut!
1222
00:59:15,252 --> 00:59:17,021
And look at this guy!
He's old!
1223
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,823
But he's probably scored
a million times!
1224
00:59:18,856 --> 00:59:20,057
Oh, yeah.
1225
00:59:20,090 --> 00:59:22,059
But not us!
We're never gonna score!
1226
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:24,028
We're never gonna score!
1227
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,096
All right,
that's it, numb-Nuts!
1228
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,097
Aah!
1229
00:59:28,198 --> 00:59:29,834
Once more
and i'll...Unh!
1230
00:59:29,867 --> 00:59:30,968
Beavis:
kick your ass!
1231
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:37,074
Well,
look what we have here.
1232
00:59:37,107 --> 00:59:39,243
You two make me sick.
1233
00:59:39,276 --> 00:59:40,244
Book 'em, bork.
1234
00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:42,847
You don't have anything on us,
and you know it.
1235
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,315
Oh, i don't, huh?
How about lewd conduct?
1236
00:59:45,349 --> 00:59:46,951
Maybe indecent exposure.
1237
00:59:46,984 --> 00:59:48,385
Here's what's
gonna happen.
1238
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:51,055
One of you is going to make
a deal and get me the unit.
1239
00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:53,357
The other can spend
the next 60 years in jail.
1240
00:59:53,390 --> 00:59:55,826
Heh. That's where
you're wrong, boy.
1241
00:59:55,860 --> 00:59:58,228
Me and my wife are back together,
and you will never...
1242
00:59:58,262 --> 00:59:58,996
He stole the unit!
1243
00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:01,198
Said he put it
in some kid's pants.
1244
01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:04,635
Why you damn little
four-Legged...
1245
01:00:04,669 --> 01:00:05,836
Hey! Take it easy!
1246
01:00:05,870 --> 01:00:07,938
I'm gonna rip your...
1247
01:00:10,374 --> 01:00:12,977
Now, travis,
it doesn't do a body good
1248
01:00:13,010 --> 01:00:15,279
To get
all worked up.
1249
01:00:15,312 --> 01:00:19,850
Here, this should
help you relax.
1250
01:00:19,884 --> 01:00:22,820
Does that
say "xanax"?
1251
01:00:22,853 --> 01:00:24,855
Um, yeah.
1252
01:00:24,889 --> 01:00:26,356
Um, yeah,
probably.
1253
01:00:26,390 --> 01:00:27,958
I don't know.
1254
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:35,733
What else you
got in there?
1255
01:00:35,766 --> 01:00:37,034
Gimme that thing!
1256
01:00:40,771 --> 01:00:42,272
Waah!
1257
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:48,212
Ok, boys and girls,
our suspects are on a tour bus
1258
01:00:48,245 --> 01:00:50,414
We believe to be
heading for...
1259
01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:52,316
The white house?
1260
01:00:52,349 --> 01:00:54,151
Jumping jesus!
1261
01:00:54,184 --> 01:00:56,754
I want everyone there!
Our people. Locals.
1262
01:00:56,787 --> 01:01:00,691
Orders are shoot to kill.
Repeat, shoot to kill.
1263
01:01:07,932 --> 01:01:09,299
Ngaah!
1264
01:01:21,045 --> 01:01:22,179
Yeah, yeah,
heh heh,
1265
01:01:22,212 --> 01:01:24,048
You know what's
really cool?
1266
01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:25,750
Hey, butt-Head.
Hey, butt-Head.
1267
01:01:25,783 --> 01:01:26,784
Shut up, beavis.
1268
01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:28,986
Yeah. Ooh.
1269
01:01:34,925 --> 01:01:35,893
Hey, butt-Head!
Hey, butt-Head!
1270
01:01:35,926 --> 01:01:37,294
...and i'll be
your tour guide.
1271
01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:38,863
In case
you don't know,
1272
01:01:38,896 --> 01:01:40,397
You've come on
a very special day.
1273
01:01:40,430 --> 01:01:42,199
Gathered at
the white house today
1274
01:01:42,232 --> 01:01:44,334
For an historic
global conference called,
1275
01:01:44,368 --> 01:01:47,071
"Give peace a chance"
or "g-Pac,"
1276
01:01:47,104 --> 01:01:49,774
Are representatives
from around the world.
1277
01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:51,876
Beavis:
ngaaahh!
1278
01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,377
This is the east room.
1279
01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:56,080
Many of the portraits
you see were saved
1280
01:01:56,113 --> 01:01:58,082
From the fire set by
the british in 1814...
1281
01:01:58,115 --> 01:02:00,317
Fire! Fire!
1282
01:02:00,350 --> 01:02:02,820
What's your problem,
beavis?
1283
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:03,988
Weeahh!
1284
01:02:04,021 --> 01:02:05,355
The site
for the white house
1285
01:02:05,389 --> 01:02:08,525
Was chosen by president
washington and pierre I'enfant.
1286
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:09,326
L'enfentata!
1287
01:02:09,359 --> 01:02:12,029
L'enfentata titicaca
for my bunghole!
1288
01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,764
Sir?
Bunghole!
1289
01:02:13,798 --> 01:02:15,833
Sir, are you ok?
1290
01:02:15,866 --> 01:02:17,501
Are you
threatening me?
1291
01:02:17,534 --> 01:02:19,937
I am cornholio!
1292
01:02:19,970 --> 01:02:20,938
Ok...
1293
01:02:20,971 --> 01:02:22,239
Uh...sir,
1294
01:02:22,272 --> 01:02:25,309
Maybe you should wait
out in the lobby?
1295
01:02:25,342 --> 01:02:27,845
Um, ok.
1296
01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:29,113
In this lobby,
1297
01:02:29,146 --> 01:02:32,349
Will there be t.P.
For my bunghole?
1298
01:02:32,382 --> 01:02:35,385
Cornholio...Heh, heh.
The room was originally designed...
1299
01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:44,862
Boy, where are you
when we need you, ike?
1300
01:02:44,895 --> 01:02:46,130
I tell you what, honey,
1301
01:02:46,163 --> 01:02:47,564
Even with all
we've been through,
1302
01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:49,233
It don't change a thing.
1303
01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:51,301
I've said it before,
and i'll say it again.
1304
01:02:51,335 --> 01:02:55,372
This is the greatest country on earth,
and i...
1305
01:02:55,405 --> 01:02:58,843
Say, that looks
kind of like...
1306
01:02:58,876 --> 01:02:59,877
Naw, it couldn't be.
1307
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:01,278
Beavis: bungholio!
1308
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:10,120
Are you
threatening me?
1309
01:03:10,154 --> 01:03:12,589
I am cornholio!
1310
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:16,026
Uh, yes, the president
does plan to speak today
1311
01:03:16,060 --> 01:03:17,261
At the g-Pac conference.
1312
01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:18,963
Mr. Secretary!
Mr. Secretary!
1313
01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:22,399
What about the rumors that a
biological weapon has been stolen
1314
01:03:22,432 --> 01:03:25,135
And smuggled out of the country
during this conference?
1315
01:03:25,169 --> 01:03:28,338
Those rumors are
entirely unfounded.
1316
01:03:31,175 --> 01:03:33,210
Those rumors are
totally unfounded.
1317
01:03:33,243 --> 01:03:35,579
I am
the great cornholio!
1318
01:03:35,612 --> 01:03:37,181
I am a gringo!
1319
01:03:37,214 --> 01:03:39,116
I have no bunghole.
1320
01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:42,086
Bungholio.
1321
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,529
This is
the state dining room,
1322
01:03:52,562 --> 01:03:55,065
Where the most powerful world
leaders are entertained.
1323
01:03:55,099 --> 01:03:56,066
Hey!
1324
01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:59,203
Uh, where's the tv?
1325
01:03:59,236 --> 01:04:02,306
Uh, there are no tvs
in the dining room.
1326
01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:04,341
This house sucks.
1327
01:04:04,374 --> 01:04:06,010
Guide:
please follow me.
1328
01:04:06,043 --> 01:04:07,644
Evacuation?
1329
01:04:07,677 --> 01:04:10,614
It's probably just another
bomb threat or something.
1330
01:04:10,647 --> 01:04:11,882
Ok.
1331
01:04:16,153 --> 01:04:18,255
Is this the lobby?
1332
01:04:18,288 --> 01:04:21,491
I am cornholio!
1333
01:04:21,525 --> 01:04:24,261
I need t.P.
For my bunghole!
1334
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:30,634
Yes, mr. President.
1335
01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:32,202
I am cornholio!
1336
01:04:32,236 --> 01:04:35,039
My bunghole,
it goes, rattatataa...
1337
01:04:35,072 --> 01:04:37,007
Mr. President?
1338
01:04:37,041 --> 01:04:39,176
Mr. President,
i can't make out what you're saying.
1339
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:40,177
Bwah! Bwah! Bwah!
1340
01:04:40,210 --> 01:04:42,046
Ngaaah! Waaato!
1341
01:04:42,079 --> 01:04:43,647
Sir, the president
sounds strange.
1342
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,482
Something's going on.
I don't think it's a drill.
1343
01:04:45,515 --> 01:04:47,251
Washington may be
under attack.
1344
01:04:47,284 --> 01:04:49,653
Go to defcon 4.
1345
01:04:52,990 --> 01:04:54,658
Step on it!
Step on it!
1346
01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:56,526
Move!
1347
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,964
Uh huh huh huh...
1348
01:04:59,997 --> 01:05:01,298
Huh huh huh...
1349
01:05:01,331 --> 01:05:04,368
Move it along, folks.
Move it along.
1350
01:05:06,736 --> 01:05:08,505
Whoa!
1351
01:05:08,538 --> 01:05:09,974
Hey, baby.
1352
01:05:12,376 --> 01:05:14,178
I noticed
you have braces.
1353
01:05:14,211 --> 01:05:16,313
I have braces, too.
1354
01:05:20,217 --> 01:05:21,685
Whoa!
1355
01:05:21,718 --> 01:05:24,188
Unh!
1356
01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:27,291
Uh huh huh huh.
That was cool.
1357
01:05:28,993 --> 01:05:31,395
whoa!
1358
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:33,563
This is the coolest thing
i have ever seen.
1359
01:05:33,597 --> 01:05:36,233
All right,
where's the unit?
1360
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:40,004
Uh...my unit?
1361
01:05:40,037 --> 01:05:41,238
In my pants.
1362
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:43,673
Uh...uh...
1363
01:05:43,707 --> 01:05:44,908
Not on him,
chief.
1364
01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:49,079
Agent hurly, i want you to give
this scumbag a cavity search.
1365
01:05:49,113 --> 01:05:50,647
I'm talking roto-Rooter.
1366
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,717
Don't stop till you reach
the back of his teeth.
1367
01:05:54,551 --> 01:05:56,620
Yeah.
Uh huh huh huh.
1368
01:05:58,288 --> 01:06:00,124
Sir, we're awaiting
your final orders.
1369
01:06:00,157 --> 01:06:02,026
I order you
to surrender your t.P.
1370
01:06:02,059 --> 01:06:03,327
Give me that!
1371
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:05,662
Mr. President, in the name
of all that's holy,
1372
01:06:05,695 --> 01:06:07,331
I must have
those launch codes.
1373
01:06:11,268 --> 01:06:13,203
I am cornholio!
1374
01:06:13,237 --> 01:06:16,140
You will cooperate
with my bunghole.
1375
01:06:16,173 --> 01:06:18,742
For there is but
one bunghole.
1376
01:06:18,775 --> 01:06:20,977
The almighty bunghole.
1377
01:06:23,713 --> 01:06:25,382
He's clean, chief.
1378
01:06:25,415 --> 01:06:27,317
Uh...huh huh huh...
1379
01:06:27,351 --> 01:06:29,253
Did i just score?
1380
01:06:30,620 --> 01:06:32,289
The other guy
must have it.
1381
01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:34,191
He's got to be
in here somewhere.
1382
01:06:34,224 --> 01:06:37,261
"cornholio"?
1383
01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:43,300
bunghole!
1384
01:06:43,333 --> 01:06:47,237
"bunghole"?
1385
01:06:47,271 --> 01:06:48,305
Huh?
1386
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:50,340
Fire.
Bungholio.
1387
01:06:50,374 --> 01:06:51,641
Excuse me.
I'm terribly sorry
1388
01:06:51,675 --> 01:06:53,143
For the inconvenience,
gentlemen,
1389
01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:56,313
But we're going to have to
wait outside for a moment.
1390
01:06:56,346 --> 01:06:57,314
Follow me, please?
1391
01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:58,315
Yeah.
1392
01:06:59,483 --> 01:07:01,118
"T.P. For
my bunghole"?
1393
01:07:01,151 --> 01:07:02,186
Yeah! Yeah!
1394
01:07:02,219 --> 01:07:03,520
T.P. For
my bunghole.
1395
01:07:03,553 --> 01:07:05,189
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty good.
1396
01:07:05,222 --> 01:07:07,657
Representative:
let these gentlemen through, please.
1397
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,259
They're with
the conference.
1398
01:07:09,293 --> 01:07:11,295
It's ok.
He's with them.
1399
01:07:13,763 --> 01:07:16,733
You cannot run from
your bunghole.
1400
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:22,038
Bunghole, bunghole,
bunghole.
1401
01:07:22,772 --> 01:07:24,574
Aha.
1402
01:07:24,608 --> 01:07:26,743
Uh heh heh heh.
Oh, yeah.
1403
01:07:29,113 --> 01:07:30,480
Ohh.
1404
01:07:30,514 --> 01:07:31,781
* mucha muchacha
1405
01:07:31,815 --> 01:07:32,849
Ahh.
1406
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:36,286
* mucha muchacha
1407
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:37,421
Oh-Ho-Ho.
1408
01:07:37,454 --> 01:07:39,589
Boi-Yoi-Yoi-Yoi-Yoi-Ing!
1409
01:07:39,623 --> 01:07:43,360
* mucha muchacha
1410
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:51,235
Boy, i tell you what,
it really makes you proud.
1411
01:07:51,268 --> 01:07:52,702
I could stay in here
all day.
1412
01:07:52,736 --> 01:07:55,172
Sir,
i'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
1413
01:07:55,205 --> 01:07:56,306
Now, wait just a minute.
1414
01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:57,307
Now!
1415
01:07:57,341 --> 01:07:58,442
Hey, now, that's enough.
1416
01:07:58,475 --> 01:08:00,477
I been planning this trip
my whole life,
1417
01:08:00,510 --> 01:08:02,446
And...Hey!
What do you think you're...
1418
01:08:02,479 --> 01:08:03,780
Something about
a "corn hole".
1419
01:08:03,813 --> 01:08:06,116
We haven't even seen
the lincoln room yet.
1420
01:08:06,150 --> 01:08:07,851
Damn it!
Now, let go of me.
1421
01:08:07,884 --> 01:08:10,720
Uh, say, chief...
1422
01:08:10,754 --> 01:08:13,723
Isn't that the guy whose
camper they were whackin'...
1423
01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:16,860
I mean, off in whose
whackin' camper...
1424
01:08:16,893 --> 01:08:18,295
Not now, bork.
1425
01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:20,730
I tell you what,
honey,
1426
01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:22,499
This country's going to
hell in a handbasket.
1427
01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:24,368
I'm going to go over
right now
1428
01:08:24,401 --> 01:08:26,403
And talk to my
congressman about this.
1429
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,405
Beavis: aah!
Ooh. Mmm. Ah!
1430
01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:30,307
What the hell?
1431
01:08:30,340 --> 01:08:32,509
Wait here a minute.
1432
01:08:34,444 --> 01:08:35,779
Beavis: oh! No!
1433
01:08:35,812 --> 01:08:36,580
Ohh, no!
1434
01:08:36,613 --> 01:08:38,882
What in the hell
is that damn noise?
1435
01:08:38,915 --> 01:08:40,284
I...Huh? Aah!
1436
01:08:40,317 --> 01:08:41,285
What?!
1437
01:08:41,318 --> 01:08:42,719
Beavis: hey.
How's it going?
1438
01:08:42,752 --> 01:08:44,688
Pull your damn pants up,
boy!
1439
01:08:44,721 --> 01:08:47,357
I don't want to see
that!
1440
01:08:47,391 --> 01:08:48,725
Damn it,
get out of here!
1441
01:08:48,758 --> 01:08:51,895
And if i ever catch you
whackin' in here again,
1442
01:08:51,928 --> 01:08:53,397
I'm gonna hog-Tie you!
1443
01:08:53,430 --> 01:08:54,731
Aw, damn it!
1444
01:08:54,764 --> 01:08:57,734
Now i gotta straighten up
in here.
1445
01:08:57,767 --> 01:08:59,903
We just cleared
all 4 floors.
1446
01:08:59,936 --> 01:09:01,371
No sign of him.
1447
01:09:01,405 --> 01:09:03,507
Damn. Where the hell
is he?
1448
01:09:03,540 --> 01:09:06,410
Say, chief,
isn't that the camper...
1449
01:09:06,443 --> 01:09:07,911
Bork, not now.
1450
01:09:07,944 --> 01:09:09,379
Chief, look.
1451
01:09:09,413 --> 01:09:12,616
Well, i'll be a monkey's
bare-Assed uncle.
1452
01:09:12,649 --> 01:09:14,751
Attention, all units.
We've got him.
1453
01:09:14,784 --> 01:09:17,921
He's in front of a white
camper on pennsylvania avenue.
1454
01:09:17,954 --> 01:09:19,423
I am cornholio!
1455
01:09:19,456 --> 01:09:22,326
I will lay waste
to your bunghole!
1456
01:09:23,293 --> 01:09:24,594
Bungholio.
1457
01:09:24,628 --> 01:09:27,531
Holio...Bungholio.
1458
01:09:27,564 --> 01:09:29,399
Hit the deck!
Get down!
1459
01:09:29,433 --> 01:09:31,268
Bunghole, bunghole,
bunghole...
1460
01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:32,636
Ok, nobody shoot.
1461
01:09:32,669 --> 01:09:34,871
He could still
have the unit on him.
1462
01:09:34,904 --> 01:09:35,839
Keep your distance.
1463
01:09:35,872 --> 01:09:38,875
We don't want to take a
chance on hitting it.
1464
01:09:38,908 --> 01:09:40,510
Where are his pants?
1465
01:09:40,544 --> 01:09:41,878
Who knows?
1466
01:09:41,911 --> 01:09:42,612
Bunghole.
1467
01:09:42,646 --> 01:09:44,714
Uh heh heh. Bunghole?
Bungholio.
1468
01:09:44,748 --> 01:09:46,883
This is agent flemming,
atf.
1469
01:09:46,916 --> 01:09:49,786
We won't hurt you.
We just want the unit.
1470
01:09:57,761 --> 01:09:59,663
Tell us where
the unit is.
1471
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:01,331
Do you have t.P.?
1472
01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:02,866
T.P. For my bunghole?
1473
01:10:02,899 --> 01:10:04,868
We'll get you
whatever you want.
1474
01:10:04,901 --> 01:10:06,703
Get that other kid.
We might need him.
1475
01:10:06,736 --> 01:10:08,372
Do you have any holio?
1476
01:10:08,405 --> 01:10:10,374
Uh, yeah, this is bork.
1477
01:10:10,407 --> 01:10:12,376
Listen, we need some t.P.
1478
01:10:12,409 --> 01:10:13,910
And some...
1479
01:10:13,943 --> 01:10:15,679
What did he say?
1480
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:17,447
Whoa.
1481
01:10:17,481 --> 01:10:18,915
Uh huh huh huh.
1482
01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:20,250
This rules.
1483
01:10:21,017 --> 01:10:23,820
Can i have a gun, too?
1484
01:10:23,853 --> 01:10:26,723
You must bow down
to the almighty bunghole!
1485
01:10:26,756 --> 01:10:28,458
Heh heh. That was cool.
1486
01:10:28,492 --> 01:10:30,327
Garga-Holio-Ala-Hole...
1487
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:32,329
This is your last chance.
1488
01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:33,863
Give us the unit now.
1489
01:10:33,897 --> 01:10:36,966
Why does everybody
want to see my schlong?
1490
01:10:37,901 --> 01:10:39,336
Uh, bunghole.
1491
01:10:39,369 --> 01:10:42,306
* mmm-Bungholio-O-O-O-O
1492
01:10:42,339 --> 01:10:43,307
Bungholio.
1493
01:10:43,340 --> 01:10:44,608
He's jerking us off.
1494
01:10:44,641 --> 01:10:46,743
I think we're gonna
have to take him out.
1495
01:10:46,776 --> 01:10:48,478
Get ready to fire
on my orders.
1496
01:10:48,512 --> 01:10:51,615
I am the one and only almighty
one and only bungholio!
1497
01:10:51,648 --> 01:10:53,617
This is your
last chance.
1498
01:10:53,650 --> 01:10:55,852
I'm gonna give you
3 seconds.
1499
01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:57,354
Beavis:
i have no bungholio!
1500
01:10:57,387 --> 01:10:59,523
Ok, boys,
get ready to fire on the count of 3.
1501
01:10:59,556 --> 01:11:00,790
1...
1502
01:11:00,824 --> 01:11:03,327
* would you like to see
my bungho-O-O-O-Le? *
1503
01:11:04,661 --> 01:11:05,795
Huh. Cool.
1504
01:11:05,829 --> 01:11:08,365
* i will show you
my bungho-O-O...Ole! *
1505
01:11:08,398 --> 01:11:09,899
Flemming: 2...
1506
01:11:09,933 --> 01:11:12,402
* i have no bungho-O-Le!
1507
01:11:12,436 --> 01:11:14,003
Uh huh huh huh.
1508
01:11:15,572 --> 01:11:17,374
What's going on?
1509
01:11:17,407 --> 01:11:18,808
What is this?
1510
01:11:18,842 --> 01:11:19,509
3!
1511
01:11:19,543 --> 01:11:21,645
Take your damn pants
with you!
1512
01:11:21,678 --> 01:11:22,646
Hold your fire!
1513
01:11:22,679 --> 01:11:23,647
What in the hell?
1514
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:24,648
The pants!
1515
01:11:24,681 --> 01:11:26,916
He's got the unit!
1516
01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:28,051
Drop the pants.
1517
01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:28,752
Now!
1518
01:11:28,785 --> 01:11:30,554
Now, wait a minute.
I ain't...
1519
01:11:30,587 --> 01:11:32,422
The one...
1520
01:11:32,456 --> 01:11:34,824
Who...
1521
01:11:41,731 --> 01:11:43,333
Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!
1522
01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:50,974
uh huh. Uh huh huh.
1523
01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:55,311
Whoa.
Oh.
1524
01:11:57,381 --> 01:11:58,948
Uh...
1525
01:11:58,982 --> 01:11:59,949
Here you go.
1526
01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:02,352
Uh huh huh huh.
1527
01:12:05,722 --> 01:12:07,791
Ow! Now...Now, wait
just a minute, mister.
1528
01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:09,793
Sir, take a look
at this.
1529
01:12:09,826 --> 01:12:11,995
How do you
explain this?
1530
01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:13,963
What in the hell
are you talking about?
1531
01:12:13,997 --> 01:12:16,800
So, using 2 innocent
teenagers
1532
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,002
As pawns in your
sick game, huh?
1533
01:12:19,035 --> 01:12:22,572
Look, i already told you i don't
know what in the hell this is about.
1534
01:12:22,606 --> 01:12:23,607
Take him away.
1535
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:25,842
Hey! Get your
damn hands off me!
1536
01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:26,676
Aah!
1537
01:12:26,710 --> 01:12:28,478
God damn it! Hey!
1538
01:12:28,512 --> 01:12:29,479
Aah!
1539
01:12:29,513 --> 01:12:30,514
Ow!
1540
01:12:30,547 --> 01:12:32,949
Damn it!
1541
01:12:32,982 --> 01:12:35,051
You don't know who you're
dealing with here!
1542
01:12:35,084 --> 01:12:38,021
I'm a veteran
of 2 foreign wars!
1543
01:12:38,755 --> 01:12:40,657
I ain't the one that...
1544
01:12:41,891 --> 01:12:44,728
I always thought there was
something wrong with him.
1545
01:12:44,761 --> 01:12:46,763
Yeah. Uh huh huh huh.
1546
01:12:46,796 --> 01:12:48,732
He had a lot of problems.
1547
01:12:48,765 --> 01:12:49,766
Yeah, yeah.
1548
01:12:49,799 --> 01:12:51,768
And, um, he used
to hit me, too.
1549
01:12:51,801 --> 01:12:52,936
Yeah. Uh heh heh.
1550
01:12:52,969 --> 01:12:54,538
Uh, hey...
1551
01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,773
Does anyone wanna see
my unit?
1552
01:12:56,806 --> 01:12:57,774
Uh huh huh huh.
1553
01:12:57,807 --> 01:12:58,775
Uh heh heh heh.
1554
01:12:58,808 --> 01:13:00,877
I got to admit it.
1555
01:13:00,910 --> 01:13:02,879
I had you boys
figured wrong.
1556
01:13:02,912 --> 01:13:04,414
I thought
you were scum,
1557
01:13:04,448 --> 01:13:07,016
But you saved more lives
today than you'll ever know.
1558
01:13:07,050 --> 01:13:10,487
You led us to one of the sickest
criminals in our history.
1559
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,856
This country owes you
a debt.
1560
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:15,492
Uh, does that mean
we're gonna get,
1561
01:13:15,525 --> 01:13:16,793
Like, money and stuff?
1562
01:13:16,826 --> 01:13:18,795
And, um, and chicks.
1563
01:13:18,828 --> 01:13:20,764
We were supposed
to score.
1564
01:13:20,797 --> 01:13:22,065
For security reasons,
1565
01:13:22,098 --> 01:13:24,768
Your actions will have
to remain top secret.
1566
01:13:24,801 --> 01:13:28,171
But someone very special
wants to give his thanks.
1567
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:32,609
Beavis and butt-Head,
1568
01:13:32,642 --> 01:13:35,479
On behalf of your
fellow americans,
1569
01:13:35,512 --> 01:13:37,647
I extend
my deepest thanks.
1570
01:13:37,681 --> 01:13:40,149
You exemplify
a fine new crop
1571
01:13:40,183 --> 01:13:41,785
Of young americans
1572
01:13:41,818 --> 01:13:43,787
Who will grow
into the leaders
1573
01:13:43,820 --> 01:13:45,789
Of this great country.
1574
01:13:45,822 --> 01:13:47,491
Uh huh huh huh.
1575
01:13:47,524 --> 01:13:48,958
He said extend.
1576
01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:50,059
Oh, yeah.
1577
01:13:50,093 --> 01:13:52,796
In recognition
for your great service,
1578
01:13:52,829 --> 01:13:55,131
I'm appointing you
honorary agents
1579
01:13:55,164 --> 01:13:58,201
In the bureau of alcohol,
tobacco & firearms.
1580
01:13:58,234 --> 01:13:59,536
Whoa!
1581
01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:01,971
Alcohol and tobacco?
1582
01:14:02,005 --> 01:14:02,806
Yeah.
1583
01:14:02,839 --> 01:14:04,207
And firearms!
1584
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,208
Yeah.
1585
01:14:05,241 --> 01:14:05,909
Cool, huh?
1586
01:14:05,942 --> 01:14:08,645
Cigarettes and beer
kick ass.
1587
01:14:08,678 --> 01:14:09,813
Yeah! Yeah!
1588
01:14:09,846 --> 01:14:11,147
We're in the bureau
1589
01:14:11,180 --> 01:14:13,917
Of beer and fire
and cigarettes.
1590
01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:15,619
And maybe
some chicks, too.
1591
01:14:15,652 --> 01:14:17,220
This is gonna be cool.
1592
01:14:17,253 --> 01:14:18,722
Uh huh huh huh.
1593
01:14:18,755 --> 01:14:20,757
Uh heh heh heh.
1594
01:14:26,763 --> 01:14:28,264
You know what sucks?
1595
01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:29,899
We never scored,
1596
01:14:29,933 --> 01:14:32,168
And we never got
any money.
1597
01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,503
Yeah. Really.
1598
01:14:33,537 --> 01:14:34,538
Um...
1599
01:14:34,571 --> 01:14:36,172
And my butt's
still sore,
1600
01:14:36,205 --> 01:14:38,575
And that chick
with the braces...
1601
01:14:38,608 --> 01:14:40,276
Butt-Head.
Butt-Head, look!
1602
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:45,281
Yes!
1603
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:46,816
Ohh.
1604
01:14:46,850 --> 01:14:47,984
Ohh, yes.
1605
01:14:48,017 --> 01:14:48,818
Yes.
1606
01:14:48,852 --> 01:14:50,520
Oh, yeah.
1607
01:14:54,223 --> 01:14:55,825
Hey, butt-Head...
1608
01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:57,827
Do you think
we're ever gonna score?
1609
01:14:57,861 --> 01:14:59,829
Uh, i probably will.
1610
01:14:59,863 --> 01:15:01,297
But not you.
1611
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,832
Uh huh huh huh.
1612
01:15:02,866 --> 01:15:04,834
You're too much
of a butt-Monkey.
1613
01:15:04,868 --> 01:15:06,836
Shut up, dill-Hole.
Uh heh heh heh.
1614
01:15:06,870 --> 01:15:08,838
Butt-Dumpling.
Uh huh huh huh.
1615
01:15:08,872 --> 01:15:10,840
Turd burglar.
Uh heh heh heh.
1616
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:13,309
Uh, ass goblin.
Uh huh huh huh.
1617
01:15:13,342 --> 01:15:14,377
Shut up, butt-Head.
1618
01:15:14,410 --> 01:15:19,082
Um, hey,
doesn't tom anderson live on this street?
1619
01:15:20,249 --> 01:15:21,751
Uh, yeah.
1620
01:15:21,785 --> 01:15:23,186
'Cause, um...
1621
01:15:23,219 --> 01:15:26,255
I just need to stop by his
toolshed for a couple minutes.
1622
01:15:26,289 --> 01:15:27,791
Uh heh heh heh.
1623
01:15:27,824 --> 01:15:29,292
You know
what i'm saying?
1624
01:15:29,325 --> 01:15:30,293
Tool.
1625
01:15:30,326 --> 01:15:31,795
Uh huh huh huh.
1626
01:15:31,828 --> 01:15:34,631
Boi-Yoi-Yoi-Yoi-Yoi-Ing!
1627
01:15:34,664 --> 01:15:37,634
Captioning made possible by
paramount pictures corporation
1628
01:15:37,667 --> 01:15:41,070
Captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.
1629
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:17,206
Engelbert humperdinck:
* come with me
1630
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:18,775
Women:
* come with me
1631
01:16:18,808 --> 01:16:20,777
* lesbian seagull
1632
01:16:20,810 --> 01:16:23,079
* seagull
1633
01:16:23,112 --> 01:16:25,782
* settle down and rest
1634
01:16:25,815 --> 01:16:28,785
* with me
1635
01:16:28,818 --> 01:16:30,253
* oh, fly
1636
01:16:30,286 --> 01:16:31,254
* fly
1637
01:16:31,287 --> 01:16:32,088
* with me
1638
01:16:32,121 --> 01:16:34,791
* lesbian seagull
1639
01:16:34,824 --> 01:16:36,092
* seagull
1640
01:16:36,125 --> 01:16:38,795
* to my little nest
1641
01:16:38,828 --> 01:16:42,799
* by the sea
1642
01:16:42,832 --> 01:16:44,233
* with me
1643
01:16:44,267 --> 01:16:46,002
* that's where you belong
1644
01:16:46,035 --> 01:16:47,303
* with me
1645
01:16:47,336 --> 01:16:49,405
* i know
i can be strong *
1646
01:16:49,438 --> 01:16:51,808
* when you're...
1647
01:16:51,841 --> 01:16:55,812
* you're with me
1648
01:16:55,845 --> 01:16:57,380
* me
1649
01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:00,917
L.L. Cool j: * oh
1650
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:03,920
* oh
1651
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:05,889
* i got visions, baby
1652
01:17:06,422 --> 01:17:07,824
* all right
1653
01:17:07,857 --> 01:17:09,659
* no directions
1654
01:17:10,860 --> 01:17:12,395
* oh, my god
1655
01:17:15,832 --> 01:17:17,166
* you know
1656
01:17:19,402 --> 01:17:20,536
* s'all right
1657
01:17:20,569 --> 01:17:23,439
* i'm the best when it comes
to making love all night *
1658
01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:26,075
* throw your butterscotch body
beneath the red light *
1659
01:17:26,109 --> 01:17:27,176
* blaze it up, girl
1660
01:17:27,210 --> 01:17:28,712
* i'm gonna lace it
real tight *
1661
01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:30,446
* go deep till the full moon
turn to sunlight *
1662
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:33,149
* till the darkness is gone,
love remains strong *
1663
01:17:33,182 --> 01:17:35,151
* like the bond
'tween mother and child *
1664
01:17:35,184 --> 01:17:36,419
* you're so warm
to the touch *
1665
01:17:36,452 --> 01:17:38,221
* passionate interludes
and such *
1666
01:17:38,254 --> 01:17:40,456
* when you're gone, your body's
what i yearn to clutch *
1667
01:17:40,489 --> 01:17:42,458
* just imagine ecstasy
floating in a cloud *
1668
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:45,161
* animal attraction
burning through the crowd *
1669
01:17:45,194 --> 01:17:47,030
* heaven on earth,
paradise for a price *
1670
01:17:47,063 --> 01:17:48,231
* it's cool, though
1671
01:17:48,264 --> 01:17:50,166
* i'll pay you
for the rest of my life *
1672
01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:51,167
* ya know why?
1673
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:52,836
Women:
* ain't nobody
1674
01:17:52,869 --> 01:17:53,837
* come on
1675
01:17:53,870 --> 01:17:55,104
* does me better
1676
01:17:55,138 --> 01:17:56,105
* say what?
1677
01:17:56,139 --> 01:17:57,106
* makes me happy
1678
01:17:57,140 --> 01:17:58,174
* uh-Huh
1679
01:17:58,207 --> 01:17:59,843
* makes me feel
just right *
1680
01:17:59,876 --> 01:18:00,844
* that's right
1681
01:18:00,877 --> 01:18:02,311
* ain't nobody
1682
01:18:02,345 --> 01:18:03,179
* uh-Huh
1683
01:18:03,212 --> 01:18:04,180
* does me better
1684
01:18:04,213 --> 01:18:05,749
* you can take it, girl
1685
01:18:05,782 --> 01:18:06,750
* stop running on
1686
01:18:06,783 --> 01:18:08,051
* you can take it, girl
1687
01:18:08,084 --> 01:18:09,052
* stop running on
1688
01:18:09,085 --> 01:18:10,754
* you can take it, girl
1689
01:18:10,787 --> 01:18:11,755
* stop running on
1690
01:18:11,788 --> 01:18:13,056
* you can take it, girl
1691
01:18:13,089 --> 01:18:14,390
* stop running on
1692
01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:16,860
* exploring your body
and your erogenous zones *
1693
01:18:16,893 --> 01:18:18,127
* like a black tiger
caged up *
1694
01:18:18,161 --> 01:18:19,395
* till you come home
1695
01:18:19,428 --> 01:18:21,297
* lovely, you make a man swoon
like a boy *
1696
01:18:21,330 --> 01:18:23,466
* the love is so soft
it gets hard to enjoy *
1697
01:18:23,499 --> 01:18:26,135
* 'cause the mind flies
and sometimes the sex lies *
1698
01:18:26,169 --> 01:18:28,471
* smooth little girls
fall in love with rough guys *
1699
01:18:28,504 --> 01:18:30,974
* but you could chop a big heart
down to pint size *
1700
01:18:31,007 --> 01:18:33,476
* i guess that's what it sounds
like when the dove cries *
1701
01:18:33,509 --> 01:18:35,478
* the whole world
is trapped up in a maze *
1702
01:18:35,511 --> 01:18:38,147
* but you saved this real good lovin'
for rainy days *
1703
01:18:38,181 --> 01:18:39,983
* the lord works
in mysterious ways *
1704
01:18:40,016 --> 01:18:42,819
* he must've put you on this
earth for all men to praise *
1705
01:18:42,852 --> 01:18:43,820
* that's right
1706
01:18:43,853 --> 01:18:44,821
Women:
* ain't nobody
1707
01:18:44,854 --> 01:18:46,089
Woman: * nobody
1708
01:18:46,122 --> 01:18:47,824
* does me better
1709
01:18:47,857 --> 01:18:49,158
* makes me happy
1710
01:18:49,192 --> 01:18:50,827
* uh-Huh, yeah
1711
01:18:50,860 --> 01:18:52,161
* makes me feel
this way *
1712
01:18:52,195 --> 01:18:53,162
* say what? Say what?
1713
01:18:53,196 --> 01:18:54,163
* ain't nobody
1714
01:18:54,197 --> 01:18:55,164
* that's right
1715
01:18:55,198 --> 01:18:57,166
* does me better
1716
01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:58,534
* you can take it, girl
1717
01:18:58,567 --> 01:18:59,168
* stop running on
1718
01:18:59,202 --> 01:19:01,070
* you can take it, girl
1719
01:19:01,104 --> 01:19:02,071
* stop running on
1720
01:19:02,105 --> 01:19:03,539
* you can take it, girl
1721
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,173
* stop running on
1722
01:19:04,207 --> 01:19:06,009
* you can take it, girl
1723
01:19:06,042 --> 01:19:07,110
* stop running on
1724
01:19:07,143 --> 01:19:08,311
* as i travel
through your body *
1725
01:19:08,344 --> 01:19:09,846
* our souls become one
1726
01:19:09,879 --> 01:19:11,514
* indivisible, oh,
it's getting critical, son *
1727
01:19:11,547 --> 01:19:13,817
* i'm on the run from love,
it chase me out the bed *
1728
01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:14,918
* get the point, fool?
1729
01:19:14,951 --> 01:19:16,853
* you hit it
right on the head *
1730
01:19:16,886 --> 01:19:17,854
* its an endless
adventure *
1731
01:19:17,887 --> 01:19:19,255
* 2 bodies collide
1732
01:19:19,288 --> 01:19:21,390
* king fulfilling dreams
with a queen by his side *
1733
01:19:21,424 --> 01:19:23,559
* forever, forever in time
we intertwine *
1734
01:19:23,592 --> 01:19:25,995
* destiny...
We fall in love by design *
1735
01:19:26,029 --> 01:19:28,464
* what's yours is mine,
and what's mine is yours *
1736
01:19:28,497 --> 01:19:30,800
* the road less traveled
is ours to explore *
1737
01:19:30,834 --> 01:19:31,567
* i adore you
1738
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,136
* heavenly angel
shining light *
1739
01:19:33,169 --> 01:19:34,470
* hold my hand
1740
01:19:34,503 --> 01:19:36,840
* i'll be your guide
through the night *
1741
01:19:36,873 --> 01:19:37,841
Women:
* ain't nobody
1742
01:19:37,874 --> 01:19:38,842
* show 'em
1743
01:19:38,875 --> 01:19:40,143
* does me better
1744
01:19:40,176 --> 01:19:41,277
* say what? Say what?
1745
01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:42,812
* makes me happy
1746
01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:43,479
* that's right
1747
01:19:43,512 --> 01:19:45,849
* makes me feel
this way *
1748
01:19:45,882 --> 01:19:46,850
* come on, uh-Huh
1749
01:19:46,883 --> 01:19:47,851
* ain't nobody
1750
01:19:47,884 --> 01:19:48,852
* yeah
1751
01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:49,853
* does me better
1752
01:19:49,886 --> 01:19:51,154
* you can take it, girl
1753
01:19:51,187 --> 01:19:52,155
* stop running on
1754
01:19:52,188 --> 01:19:53,857
* you can take it, girl
1755
01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:54,858
* stop running on
1756
01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,059
* you can take it, girl
1757
01:19:56,092 --> 01:19:57,060
* stop running on
1758
01:19:57,093 --> 01:19:58,294
* you can take it, girl
1759
01:19:58,327 --> 01:19:59,295
* stop running on
1760
01:19:59,328 --> 01:20:00,864
* you can take it, girl
1761
01:20:00,897 --> 01:20:01,865
* stop running on
1762
01:20:01,898 --> 01:20:03,166
* you can take it, girl
1763
01:20:03,199 --> 01:20:04,167
* stop running on
1764
01:20:04,200 --> 01:20:05,869
* you can take it, girl
1765
01:20:05,902 --> 01:20:06,870
* stop running on
1766
01:20:06,903 --> 01:20:08,171
* you can take it, girl
1767
01:20:08,204 --> 01:20:09,839
* stop running on
1768
01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:10,606
* come on now
1769
01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,876
* a man don't choose
a woman, *
1770
01:20:12,909 --> 01:20:14,443
* a woman chooses a man
1771
01:20:15,211 --> 01:20:17,080
* give you half
for a second *
1772
01:20:17,113 --> 01:20:19,182
* then i'll give you
the full plunge *
1773
01:20:19,215 --> 01:20:20,316
* oh
1774
01:20:20,349 --> 01:20:21,617
* what you want?
What you want? *
1775
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:24,854
* iced champagne
brings up the scenery *
1776
01:20:24,888 --> 01:20:25,955
* now me?
1777
01:20:25,989 --> 01:20:27,957
* just bananas
1778
01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:29,292
* i know
1779
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:30,960
Women:
* ain't nobody
1780
01:20:30,994 --> 01:20:31,961
Woman: * nobody
1781
01:20:31,995 --> 01:20:33,196
* does me better
1782
01:20:33,229 --> 01:20:34,197
* oh, yeah
1783
01:20:34,230 --> 01:20:35,631
* makes me happy
1784
01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:36,299
* that's right
1785
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,201
* makes me feel
this way *
1786
01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:39,202
* come and get it
1787
01:20:39,235 --> 01:20:41,204
* ain't nobody...
117118
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