All language subtitles for A.Serbian.Film.2010.Uncut.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.DTS-

A SERBIAN FILM

Are you insane? Haven't we agreed
about putting away your flicks?

What's that?
Give it to mommy.

Sorry, but it's not a big deal.

I saw my first porn when I was his age.
- How are you, kiddo?

But your dad wasn't starring in it!

Maria, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

I dug up that DVD because Laylah
called and wanted to see me today.

Baby, you want mommy to make you
a toast? The jumping bread!

Mom, what was dad doing there?

Nothing, hon.
Just playing with a girl friend.

It's like a cartoon for the grownups.

Honey, I have to pay
for Petar's singing lessons.

- Bye, dad.
- Bye, dad.

Easy on that whiskey.
Rye kills sexual appetite.

That's why I drink it.

- So, how's family life?
- Nice.

How are Petar and... Maria?

Yes, Maria. They're fine.

Next year Petar's starting school.

It'll be interesting when they ask
about his father's occupation.

His father is a fine gentleman
in a premature retirement.

The problem with that pension
is that it's not lifelong.

How much do you have stashed?
5 or 10 grand?

Milos, you were more than just a
porn star, you were an artist.

All actresses you worked with
wanted to marry you.

You're still an artist,
but with a temporary block.

And I'm your guardian angel.
Listen.

Something big is about to happen.
Artistic pornography

of the highest level.
Here, in Serbia.

In Serbia?
- Only filmed here, but for the foreign market.

Terribly professional.
Phenomenally paid. If you accept

your family will be settled
till the end of Petar's life.

The man's name is Vukmir.
He'll call you in a few days.

Be nice to him.

Here's something for the junior.

Wow, where's his pussy?

You didn't tell me you brought
your copper bro to the meeting.

I came on my own. I knew you'd be
sitting here and couldn't miss

a chance to see you.
I'm your great admirer.

You're well preserved.

Who's the plastic surgeon
we have to thank to?

You know I started early.
I don't need plastic yet.

Everybody needs it.

These don't.

So long, fags.
Milos, you heard my advice.

- A hooker!
- A porn star.

Has-been.

You know the kind of work
she did after you married?

I know.

No one could handle
a dick like she could.

A natural talent.

Funny she hasn't contacted her
dealer in the past few years.

Is she off drugs?

Doubtful.
A new, rich provider, more likely.

You'll alienate me from my friends
if you keep checking on them.

Friends, in Serbia?

You can't check them enough.

I gotta go.

Say hello to your kid
and his beautiful mom.

I'm paying for the bite.

- So long.
- Bye.

Sleeping time, hands up.

- Dad?
- Yes?

Know that friend of yours,
that you were beating in the video?

It's only a movie.
Make believe. When dad was young.

I know,
but while I was watching it

- I felt something strange.
- What?

Like some kind of a wheel, spinning.

- A wheel? Where?
- Down there, near my willie.

Several of them,
like a family, travelling.

Do they live in me?

They do, hon, in all of us.
We all have them.

- Everyone in the world?
- Yes, everyone.

They're gone now
SO close your eyes,

think of them
and you'll fall asleep faster.

What language is that?

I'm translating for some Swedes.

Swedish? I'm great in it.

That's right.

Wait, I know more.
Listen to this.

You would be a mega star.

So, you say Laylah is
offering you a serious job?

So she said. It's strange.

Why would
anyone offer me big money

after such a long pause?
In Serbia?

And after all the crap
I shot, look at this.

Maybe they need the only porn star
with a university diploma.

Do you miss it?

- What?
- The job.

I don't know. No.

I miss the money
so we could escape away from here.

All those poor girls
you threw away like condoms...

How come you've never
done me like them?

Well, I love you.
Them, I only fucked.

Does it mean
that you never wanted to fuck me?

Am I talking to the Balkan sex god,

Nikola Tesla of world pornography?

- You must be Vukmir?
- Of course.

Milos, if you're ready
to change your life

a car will be waiting
at your door in 30 minutes.

You just hop in,
and take a ride towards fulfillment

of your personal
and professional fantasies.

Can't wait to meet you!

I'm honored to shake hands
to such an artist. I'm Vukmir.

I'm Milos, nice to meet you.

The right hand is the sex center
in any man.

It's a direct line
between your brain and cock.

Ever since your childhood.

Your hand is special,

for it has jerked such a special cock.

Milos, it's an honor

to shake a hand
to such an artist of fuck.

Pornography is art,
but people can't see that!

Why not?

Because they just want
to jizz into a napkin

what they can't into a woman.

These movies
are mostly made so that

those who can't get laid can cum.

They're made by butchers

who can't tell a camera
from a broom.

Their 'actors'
would be fucking a hole

in the wall if there were no pussy.

Do you know what proves that
there is art in pornography?

What?

You, Milos.

You are the proof!

Your sense of handling a woman,
your rhythm

of exhausting her,
your talent to humiliate her,

and then, when she is reduced
to a dog-shit, to win her back.

And your love for it, that's art.

Sadly, this is
no country for real art.

Where there is no life,
there can't be real art.

A real talent will rot here,

while maggots
are giving press conferences.

Have you done anything
I could've seen?

I'm doing stuff that no one else is.

- Just for the selected clients.
- All right, but what is it?

Art, naked art!

Truth.

Real people,
real situations, real sex...

minimal editing.

There's a serious script.

We know it, you don't.

And what am I supposed to do?

The same as always, Milos.
Just stand before the cameras,

whip out your cock,
and fuck until it's raw.

I dunno, I'm a little tired
of cameras and fucking.

You're also tired of humping scum

any time your family needs dough.

Kissing some wretched cunts

with the same lips you'd kiss your kid.

Thanks, doctor.

- What's that?
- The contract.

No need to read all,
just the numbers.

Something wrong?

I don't know what I'm signing,
what am I shooting.

You're not supposed to know.

If you knew, you wouldn't be so good.

In a winter night
way up the hill

A creek was frozen
and covered by the snow

A bunny's weeping
for that frozen creek

The young bunny's crying
with all his heart

But poor li'I bunny
there upon the hill

Perhaps he' after the swallows
heading for a warmer South

Vukmir! Sounds like a name
of one of our guys

at the Hague tribunal.

Are you sure
he's not an arms dealer?

No, he's some kind of
an artist-philosopher

with a grand plan.

So, is it grand?

Dunno, but seems like he
desperately needs me

since he's willing to offer such cash.

How much?

I won't tell you.

Yes you will,
or I'm not giving it back.

OK, I'll tell you, just let go.

- Don't tell me you refused?
- Of course I did.

I wanted to see
if you're with me for the money.

If I were, I'd have dumped you
for your brother long ago.

So, you prefer
poor porn stars to bad cops.

Does it mean that I should
rent my dick to Vukmir?

Remember what you told me

when I asked if you missed your job?

Milos, I want both of your heads
to be clear and hard.

If it's true...

If what is true?

That you were always
able to have it erected

with no touching or looking.

Like a cock at dawn,
rising to its own song.

I also know that you filmed all
your scenes in the first take.

Don't be so modest,

you're the best,
that's why you're here.

How long do you think it would take?

A few days.

I haven't translated
from Russian since 1994.

What is it exactly?
Some take-over contract?

We're sending some goods
to Moscow for redistribution.

- Want one?
- Yes.

- No thanks.
- You said you would.

Oh, sorry. I'm a bit...

I miss female company.

At least you can always
arrest a fine looking lady.

Yes, but I doubt I'll
ever have the real thing.

A relationship, marriage.
Like the two of you.

You stopped hoping too soon.

Women here like men in uniform.
Especially if they're not wearing it.

Sorry, gotta go to the bathroom.

You know what they say about rye.

It's high time you started
taking care of yourself.

With great talent comes great
desire for self-fuck ability.

- When, exactly, do we start?
- In three days.

I'm not comfortable
with not knowing.

Milos, get a grip.
You're a porn actor

who wants to know
what a porn film is about?

It's a bit absurd.

You're not supposed
to know, but only to relax.

That's too much money
to leave anything to accident.

Nothing is left to accident.

Milos,
this is a serious organization.

My clients know
exactly what they want,

and I know what I'm doing.

Don't worry,
everything is already prepared.

You just have to appear,
be what you are,

relax and react as Milos would.

Pornography should not be an illusion,

but a live transmission of sex.

- Dad.
- Yes, son.

Remember the little wheels?

I do.

Do you know how to make them spin?

I do.
But you must do it yourself.

We all do it alone.

Tell me how.

When you feel them,
try to follow them

with your hand.

It's a family travelling,

and you just
close your eyes and follow them.

Wait, the wheels are
spinning better at night.

Put it into your ear.

Enter the building, relaxed.

HOME FOR ABANDONED
AND ORPHANED CHILDREN

Walk slowly ahead.

Be natural.

I wish I impaled myself on a fence
rather than giving birth to you!

Haven't I told you not to let
the villains take you away?

Get lost,
you misbegotten wretch!

What are you staring at?

Bravo.

What was it like?

Fine.

We were filming at
a home for orphaned children.

Where?

Drag yourself over here!

Look at yourself.
You can't raise a dick,

how will you raise a child?

The child is mine.
Raiko only made it.

I gave birth to it.
- Come, you bitch!

Let me go, villains!

Give me back my child, you bastards!

- Honey'?

- What are you doing?
- I picked up Petar from classes.

I'm taking him to a costume party.
Are you coming?

No, I'm tired.
Must get some sleep.

- Everything all right?
- Sure. Enjoy yourselves.

Talk to you later,
must park now. Bye.

- The cake is coming.
- Never seen such a cake in my life.

- Aren't you in action?
- Marko, you must do me a favor.

I'm all dick.

I need a detailed check on my director,

producer, pimp,
goddamn businessman, Vukmir.

I don't know his last name.
Check his whole crew.

Little bro has changed his
views on checking his friends?

Look, it's important and urgent.

Understood.
Everything OK with you?

Yes, so far. How about you?

Working on it.

Light the candles.

Happy birthday, dear Petar...

Baby, time flies, and your animal
IS snoozing again.

Come on, blow harder.
Blow harder.

Blow harder. Bravo!

Now we're gonna open
the present from uncle.

This is the present
from your uncle.

How do you open this?

Happy birthday, my sweet son.

What do you think, how does he
manage to be so hard so long?

It's not a dick,
it's a police stick!

If you don't know, I can't help you.

The bitches are leaking all over,
he's servicing all three of them.

How come he's not tired?

Why isn't he fucking limp,
like all the normal people?

You're at it again!

That's hardly
gonna shape it like we all want.

What was so urgent?

You tell me, what are we shooting?

Are those cameramen real cops?
Are they protection? What from?

Cut the crap!

You're drunk,
nearly impotent and turning dumb.

I may be dumb, but not naive.

Vukmir knows what he's doing.
I trust him more than myself.

They're the greatest pros
you've ever worked with.

What've you done previously
with those pros of yours?

Don't take it all on me just cause
I fuck animals for art's sake,

while you can't take a bit of
uncertainty for some big bucks.

Does it mean I'll have to suck
a donkey's dick for money?

It's not so bad, trust me.

Better than the crap
you've been in lately.

- You know I miss that.
- What?

The certainty of that crap.

At least I knew what I was filming.

Do you miss this?

You're losing it.

Lucky for you
Vukmir hasn't noticed yet.

You're resting from healthy life.

How was the costume party?

- Hey, what's that?
- It's a stand up balloon.

Raiko was a war hero.

If only he knew
about his wife's whoring!

He would've killed both you
and that poor child of yours.

What the hell is all this, people?

Hello, I can't work like this!

Hit the whore. Hit the whore!

Hit her.

Bravo, bravo! Magnificent!

Milos?

Milos, what's wrong?

I'm not doing this. I'm not beating
women in front of kids or cameras.

Milos, Jeca is our kid.
I'd never dream of hurting her.

Her mother fucked everything,
from stones to barbed wire.

You're like a picnic to her.

I'm not only an artist
but also a professional.

I'd never do a thing
against one's will.

You're doing it against mine.
I won't stand any kind of torture.

Yeah, you seem to
know a lot about torture.

Did you enjoy the midget woman

whom you locked up in an oven
in Stuttgart and pierced a hole

in it so she could
suck you up for hours?

At least your dick enjoyed it.

And he never lies.

Vukmir Vukmir.
His name is also his surname.

Worked as a psychologist
in orphanages until 1992.

Then he moved
to the Children's Program

of the State TV.
It's getting better and better!

A lifelong fascination
with the world of film.

Now follows a mess I had to clarify
with data from the State Security.

Allegedly,
he worked for them, too.

Sent abroad on a mission,
his trace was lost in Japan.

If he's done any movies,
no one's seen them.

That's about it.

I don't know what bothers you.

According to this, you've never
worked with a more educated man.

Who are you gonna trust if not a child
psychologist who works for Security?

Hit it, dad, tear it, dad,
uncle Vukmir is shooting.

- Want something to eat?
- No, I've had my daily dose of rye.

You don't have to go,
you can do it over the phone.

No, I must show up.
It wouldn't be fair.

Today we're shooting at home again.

Without me.
As of today, I'm retiring.

Is there any way for me
to convince you otherwise?

No.

The kids bother me. I can't do
such stuff in the kindergarten.

I fully understand you.

But, in that case
between you and the kids,

I must choose kids. They're
my specialty, my whole life.

It's my fault. I thought you'd be
better if you didn't know...

If I had known from the start,
I'd only have declined sooner.

What did you say, kindergarten?

That's a good term.

This whole fucking country is
one big shitty kindergarten.

A bunch of kids
discarded by their parents.

Do you know what it feels like?

Your whole life you're
compelled to prove

that you're
able to take care of yourself.

To prove that you can
shit, eat, fuck

drink, bleed, earn money...

do whatever it takes
to survive, until you die.

Would you believe me
if I told you that me and

this wonderful family that you
are so anxious to leave

are the only warrant
of this nation's survival?

We are the backbone
of this country's economy.

Only we can prove
that this nation is alive

and useful for anything.

I can see that you're insane,
I need no proof for that.

Just tell me, how does it
all connect to pornography?

No, Milos, no, no!

Not pornography, but life itself!

That's life of a victim.

Love, art, blood...

The flesh and soul of a victim

transmitted live to
the world who has lost all that

and is now paying to watch that

from the comfort of an armchair.

I have no doubt that it sells well

based on the sum you offered me.

Victims sell, Milos.

Victims are
the priciest sell in this world.

The victim feels the most
and suffers the best.

We are a victim, Milos.

You, me, this whole nation is a victim.

We're just too retarded.

And I won't be
a victim because of that.

But Milos, you're the only one
in this film who is not a victim!

Is that so?

Allow me, as your shepherd

to show you
the power of a real victim.

Can it be that you don't get it?

This is a new genre, Milos!

Newborn porn!

Newborn!

So that tomorrow,
on the 18th of May...

you'll witness a new Serbian
Jet-set extravagance...

tomorrow on the 18th of May...

If you only knew how easily cattle
aphrodisiac is diluted in whiskey.

Actually, rye doesn't Kill
sexual desire at all, right?

Viagra for bulls. A special recipe
concocted by our sexy doctor

who is so fond of speed
that she puts it in coffee, too.

Can he follow my words?

Now, that's our stud!

Look at him, look at him!

Bravo, bravo!

She's a dirty junky cunt!

She destroyed her child,
daughter of a war hero!

Sweet little Jeca watched
her mother fuck the junky bums.

She is scum.
Hit the whore! Hit the bitch!

Yeah, you bitch!

Yes, that's one of the bitch-mothers
who conceive babies in lust

and then throw them into a river.

The lustful brood of wenches
with endless gashes in them.

Imagine she were your son's mother.

Imagine her turning Petar
info a dog-fucker's bitch!

Imagine that, Milos!

Strike her, hit her!

That's it! Bravo!

The unique magic of rigor mortis!

That's right, make it right.

Fucking cell!

What?

Never mind, he'll come to me.
Don't worry, he will.

Fucking hell. OK, run now.

This one is on me.

Now you ruined it all.
You've destroyed the project.

I did what? How?

You could've drugged any of
your apes to fuck like insane.

You had Milos. Now you don't.
Now he's a headless dick.

If only you sliced, say,
his son's ear

he'd be his old self again!

He'd fuck God in the ass
at your command!

Instead, you take a genius
and fill him with a fuck-dope.

You're cheap,
just like everyone else.

Fear is bad. It's a downer.

He needs to rise high.
To feel the ecstasy of a free fuck.

When he feels ii,
he'll forget all

including his wife, son, mother...

What do you know about free fuck?

What do you know of ecstasy?

This is no art.
You're no longer an artist!

I'm not working for you anymore.
Nor is Milos. I'm taking him home.

Get away from me!

God itself brought you, son.
God sent you to deliver us...

God itself brought you, son.
God sent you to deliver us

from that whore,
may she rest in peace.

She was a shame to our house.

Raiko was a great warrior,
but had a poor taste in women.

Since he was Killed, this house
rots with no male to govern it.

That's why God sent you as
our savior from all worry.

There's not only house, but a
daughter to take care of, too.

Our poor Jeca became an orphan.

My Alice in Wonderland.

Raiko was killed just when
he was supposed to

prove to Jeca
that he's not only a father,

but a man as well.
You came instead of him.

You'll have the honor of giving her

a virgin's communion.
To make her a woman.

Like my late father did with me.

Come on, come on...

Now!

I'm gonna cut it off,
you motherfuckers!

No, Milos, no...

Our film jumped through the window!

What are you waiting for?
After him!

Marko, it's me. Come for me.

- Where are you?
- I'm in the Celopecka street, no 7.

Milos...

Hey, baby, where you headin' for?

Out naked, but won't take a dick?

Be polite, the girl is underage.

So what if I am underage?

Look at this jerk!

No, Rasa, don't.

A rare kind of Monks
put seven adult he-goats

into a shed during summer.

They leave them for a month

until their balls are like melons.

When they get too hot,
they start fucking one another.

The monks take
the dried cum off their balls

and mix it with milk.

It makes the finest
bread spread there is.

You're a he-goat, Milos.
I'm your monk.

Don't worry, my child.

My he-goat.

I'll provide a fitting end for you.

Welcome to a warm family home.

Areal, happy Serbian family.

Life...

Art...

That's it, Milos.
That's the cinema.

That's film!

Get away from me!

In a winter night

way up the hill

A creek was frozen

and covered by the snow.

Come on.

Start with the little one.