All language subtitles for 2ty 4 ESUB cc

[instrumental music]

[crackling]

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ You wonder
why nobody does it better ♪

♪ This one goes out ♪

Jon Jon!

♪ To all the niggas
out there.. ♪

Jon Jon, wake up.

I need you to do me a favor.

Now your Uncle Charles
is taking mama

and Aunt Linda away
for the weekend,
okay?

And he needs somebody
to watch his house.

Now, what I need you to do

is take a note to
school
for your sister

so she can house-sit.

[coughing]

- Oh.
- Oh, oh..

Mom, I'm sick.

Oh, baby..

My tuca-tuca boo-boo.

You don't feel warm.

Let mommy get the thermometer,
okay?

Get the thermometer.

[slurps]

[retching]

[grunting]

Oh, my little chookie

I guess you are sick.

Oh, boobie,
you want mommy

to take baby to the doctor?

No, no!

You know I don't like doctors.

Okay, baby.

Oh, shoot.

I would hate for both of us
to have to miss school.

Me here sick in bed

while Monique's over
at Uncle Charles' house

just sitting on her
butt doing nothing.

Oh, sweetie..

I better try to get up and go.

I don't want it
to get around school

that the Harris family
doesn't represent.

Oh, no, no, no, baby.

If anybody's going to
school,
it's gonna be Monique.

Now, do you
think
you can go over

to Uncle Charles'
house
and rest over there?

Maybe.

Oh, he just needs somebody

to stay for the weekend, okay?

He says his alarm is broke

but your daddy says
he's just too cheap

to buy a good one

since mama and Linda
are always there.

But he's taking 'em
with him this
weekend.

I can make it.

Oh, no, no, baby.

Okay, mama, I am ready.

I got my phone
book,
my bathing suit

the weed..

...whacker,
'cause uncle Charles'
lawn

needs...whacking.

Uh, Monique?

Is that you, Monique?

Oh..

Look, baby, Jon Jon is sick.

So, instead of both of you
missing out on school

Jon Jon's gonna house-sit.

What! Mama!

Oh, look,
you're going to school.

Now, kiss your brother.

Ugh.

But, mama, I already have
my whole weekend planned.

Some friends, the
pool,
just chillin'.

Well, the last thing
your uncle wants

at his house is your little
hootchie girlfriends

and them chain-snatching boys
you seem to attract.

Don't make no damn sense.

Gotta go through this every day.

Who's hootchie?

Come on, let's go.
I'm running late.

And-and we still gotta go by

your cheap brother's house.

Oh, there you go.

You just mad
because he didn't buy an
alarm

from your company.

Shoot, and why should he?

He has my kids
to look after his house.

He's cheap, cheap, cheap,
I tell you.

We don't have to go over there.

Jon Jon is house-sitting
because he's sick.

Jon Jon ain't sick.

Get in the car.

And if he is so cheap

why is he taking his
whole family

to the Bahamas for the weekend?

Shoot, I'd take my family, too

if all I had to do
was
charge you

to one of my clients.

Now, get in the car!

- Daddy!
- Get in the car!

[mumbling]

I did it.

[music on stereo]

[music continues]

Ooh!

[scatting]

Ooh!

Ah, ah, ah, ah..

♪ La la la la la ♪

[upbeat music]

[phone rings]

Get out. I'm on the toilet.

Mom told me to come brush
my teeth, so shut up.

[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hello.
- Yo, it's me!

- Who this?
- It's me. Hold on.

[dialing]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.
- Yo, T.

- Yeah.
- Hold on.

Look, we not going
to school today.

We got some things to do.

Like what?

Never mind, man.

Just meet me
at 1-3-2-0-0 Beverly Glen

at 9 a.m.

For what?

Would you just trust me? Damn.

I'm tellin' mom.

Alright, alright, alright.

'T, I'll meet you there
in a little bit.'

You're all trippin'.
I got a test today.

Look, T, trust me.

I got this.

[instrumental music]

♪ Choppin' broccoli ♪

♪ Choppin' broccoli ♪♪

Whoo!

[instrumental music]

Uncle Charles?

Oh, hell, no.

Boy, what are you doing here

and where is your sister?

Well, I was home sick
from school today

so my mom sent me instead

so we both wouldn't have
to miss school.

[coughs]

Hey, hey, boy. hey, hey.

Don't get none of
that
on none of this.

I got you.

Is that you, baby?

- Hey, grandma.
- Oh, baby, you look so good.

Ooh, you done grown so much

since the last time I saw you.

Nana, you just came over
to the house

for dinner last weekend.

Don't you sass me.
Don't you sass me,
boy!

- Hey, Aunt Linda..
- Hey, Jon Jon.

Did you say you were
sick,
sweetie?

Oh, oh, yeah.

I think it's the stomach flu.

Uh, lots of throwing up.

Lots and lots of mucus.

[sniffs]

Uh, get better, baby.

Let's go, ladies.
Come on. Chop, chop.

Ah, come on, mama.

Chop, chop, baby.
Come on.

Ooh, girl,
you look good, though.

I'm gonna poke your hontas

a little bit later,
I'm tellin' you.

Oh, yeah, boy, I'm gonna..

Oh, look here, man.

Here's some emergency money

in case something gets broke.

But if that happens

I'm gonna break my foot
off
in your ass

and break your jaw.

In fact, don't use nothin'

don't touch nothin'

don't be nothin'.

Just lay up in here,
be sick.

Okay.

Alright. Get well.

But don't have nobody
in my goddamn house!

Especially them
two punk ass friends of yours.

- 'Charles!'
- 'Charles!'

I'm coming!

We gonna miss our flight.

Oh, he did the same
thing
on our honeymoon.

Oh, my.

Now, stuff it in the car!

[instrumental music]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ You wonder why
nobody does it better ♪

♪ This one goes out ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ To all the niggas
out there yeah ♪

♪ I think they got
some chillin' back ♪

♪ Homies chillin' ♪

♪ Oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ I put my dick up in your
bitch
for the fuck of it ♪

♪ Don't represent
some other shit ♪

♪ Like some billboard bubble
and none that shit ♪

♪ 'Cause you ought
to see me the Stevie ♪

♪ Then everyday you're gonna
wonder why you wanna be me ♪

♪ 'Cause everybody know
my favorite.. ♪♪

Whoo!

Damn.

[doorbell ringing]

[instrumental music]

Welcome, peasants.

- Damn.
- Damn.

Yes, yes.
Come on, come on, come on.

You know how we do it.

This is only the beginning,
my friends.

[claps]
Come, come.

This is the den.

- What is this?
- Man.

Look, but don't touch.

Yes, take a look
around,
gentlemen.

Take a look around.

I like this.

This is fine.

You know, I'm so genius.

What if we threw a party..

...to end all parties?

I mean, like..

...the bomb.

Man, that's cool and everything

but why don't we just invite
a couple of girls over

you know, some dime pieces,
and just chill?

- Yeah.
- Aah!

Wrong answer.

I mean, how
often
do you get to
chill

in a crib like this?

- Well..
- Never.

My point exactly.

Man, this party could be big.

It could be
talked
about for years

and years and years to come.

Okay, then, when?

Tonight.

(both)
Tonight?

How are we gonna have a party
like that tonight?

We're not even in school
to tell everyone.

[sighs]
Peasants,
peasants.

- Follow me.
- Peasants?

- Who you callin' peasants?
- What the..

Punk.

Right this way.

[music continues]

[keys clacking]

Welcome to the future
of party promoting, my
friends.

And it's just that simple.

The word is out

and we got plenty of food,
drinks, and music.

You guys make you something
to eat.

I got a phone call to make.

(both)
Cool.

[music continues]

[dialing]

Who you calling?

[phone ringing]

Flip Wilson High School.

Hello, this is Angela Johnson

'Tina Johnson's mother.'

I would like
to remove my daughter

from school today.

(both)
Oh, man.

You want to what?

From school.
Is there a problem?

Prob.. I ain't got no problem.

You can come down here
and get your daughter.

Okay, could you just give her
a little note

telling her where to meet me?

Mnm-mnm, mnm-mnm, mnm-mnm.
Honey, I can't do that.

School policy says

'we cannot release a child'

under the age of 18..

...without a parent
or a guardian.

So that means you just gonna
have to walk on down here

and get your little diva.

But-but I'm..

But I'm at work.
I can't pick her up.

I'm on my job, too.

So, anything else
I can help you with?

No, thank you.

You've been a great deal
of help already.

I guess I'll see you
when I get there.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

What you all looking at me for?

You all don't know you're old?

You should've graduated
three years ago.

You so old, you stink.
Get out of here.

- So, now what, player-player?
- Uh-huh?

[clicks tongue]
I figured they might say
something like that.

But I got a plan.

- I'm stumped.
- Man.

[instrumental music]

(Charles)
'Oh, yes!'

What the hell?

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Oh, yeah, girl!

- Ooh.
- Yee-haw!

- Yeah.
- Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I'm tender-headed.

Oh, I got some head
for you to tend to.

Come on!

Look at him.

Yee-haw!

[both moaning]

[clears throat]

(Linda on TV)
'Ride 'em, cowboy!'

Oh, I'm sorry.
We was accidentally..

Miss..

Jon Jon?

[laughs]

I almost fooled you, didn't I?

Oh, you trippin'.

And the key word is almost.

Are you out your mind?

Man, you all don't believe
in nothin'.

We can do this.

(both)
We?

When did you start
speaking
French?

Oh, I am not leaving you
all two here by yourselves.

Why not?

I'll tell you why not.

Because if I leave you
all by yourselves

I don't know what
you're gonna get into
next.

Well, you know
what,
I want to go

'cause I can't wait
to see you get
busted.

[scoffs]
Busted? Are you crazy?

Man, I'm smooth as ice,
twice as nice

and ain't never had a bad
day in my damn life.

Now, come on.

Before I have to get my switch.

Come on!

- Let's get this over with.
- Come on.

(Jon Jon)
Come on.

Oh, hell, no.
We can't take this.

(T)
'What do you mean, this?'

Man, this looks like it belongs

in the museum of modern crap.

Tina's mama wouldn't be
caught dead

in a hooptie like this.

- Then what you want to do?
- Come on.

[dramatic music]

(Mark)
'Now, that's a car.'

Correction, my friend.

This is an automobile

equipped with only the
finest
qualities of..

...everything.

It's alright.

I mean, the turn signal
blink too fast on these cars.

I mean, blink, blink, blink,
blink.

That's annoying.

Yeah, who wants a working
turning signal anyway?

Whatever, man.

Now, come on.
I gotta to be driving.

[engine cranking]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

Welcome to Gay Way Airlines.
How may I help you?

Welcome.
Thanks for flying with us.

- First class.
- First class.

- Thank you.
- First class. Enjoy
yourself.

- Coach.
- Coach.

First class.
Go on, diva. Work it out..

[indistinct chatter]

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself.

Mmm, oh, you..

[indistinct chatter]

Now, that was the person
I was telling you about.

He don't look crazy to me.

Trust me, he is.

Hi, Mr. Lester,
nice to see you again.

- Yeah.
- Glad to have you.

If there's anything I can do

you can please let me know.

Uh, you got
that special seat for me?

Yes, Mr. Lester, right here.

Right next
to the emergency exit.

Just like you requested.

Okay, yeah. Thanks a lot.

Look, this ain't gonna take me

nothin' but a minute.

I'll be right back.

Hand me my purse.

Oh, he's gonna get caught.

Very much so.

Class, today we are going
to be learning Shakespeare.

'Not just Shakespeare,
but Macbeth.'

[humming]

Excuse me.

[clears throat]

What?

I'm here to pick up my daughter.

And who are you?

I'm Angela Johnson,
Tina Johnson's mother.

Hmm.

We did speak on the phone,
didn't we?

Yeah, that was me, alright.

Well, could you find
my daughter?

- Go on, now.
- 'Hm.'

[humming]

"Double, double,
toil and trouble.

Fire burn, and cauldron.. "

[phone ringing]

Yes?

Ms. Tupay?

Why?

Fine.

Tina Johnson,
your mother has come

'to pick you up early
from school.'

"Twice the brinded
cat hath mewed

"thrice and once the hedge pig

'"Tis the poisoned fillet
of a snake'

'eye of newt and toe of long.."'

Oh, hell, no!

What was that, Ms. Harris?

Nothing.

[phone ringing]

Mm-hmm.

Uh, hello? Hey, unc.

(Charles on phone)
'Boy, what the hell you
doing?'

[coughs]
Nothing. Why?

(Charles on phone)
'I just feel something.'

'I know you're over there
screwing around'

'with something, I know it.'

Oh, oh no. Trust me, unc.
Everything is perfect.

[coughing]

[school bell ringing]

(Charles on phone)
'What the hell is that?'

Oh, that's just the TV, unc.

I'm watching
Cooleyhighharmony

♪ It's so hard to say ♪♪

I gotta call you back.
This is the best part.

[sighs]

Hmm.

♪ And Jesus loves me ♪

♪ Oh yes he does ♪

♪ The father by.. ♪

[coughs]

Uh, my mother's supposed
to be picking me up.

Baby! Oh, look at you there.

How you doing, baby?

Ooh, ooh!

Uh, is there something wrong,
mother?

Oh, no, baby,
I just needed some help
today.

- Help?
- Help!

Well, I guess
we'll
be going now.

Toodle-oo.

Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.

♪ Jesus loves me ♪

- What?
- What?

They made it? Ha!

Yeah.

- In the back.
- What?

Get in the back.

[indistinct chatter]

Ooh!

Monique, will you sit down,
please?

I will not have any more
interruptions

during Shakespeare.

"Double, double.."

See, I've lost my place.

'Where was I?'

♪ Number one single ♪

Welcome to Gay Way Airlines,
where we fly happy.

See, this is the good part.

Charles, shut up.
I ain't raise no sissies.

We have four emergency
exits located..

(Both)
Bling, bling, bling, bling.

Oh, kept my brains on. Yeah.

Ooh, you know I'm not putting
this thing on.

This us our life vest,
just in case we get ready

to go down, down in the water.

Something like this,
this is what you use.

Have a good time using it.

Mm-hmm.

This is your oxygen.

Real simple,
just buckle up.

Just buckle just that.

Dang, I forgot how that work.

It's in this book.
Whew..

For your convenience,
we have laptops

and computerized chess.

Now, just in case the plane
decides to go down

down, down.

Mr. Lester, get prepared to die.

Please prepare for takeoff.

Buckle up, buckle up, buckle up.

Buckle up, yeah. Buckle up!

Buckle up.
Don't scare the people.

I'm just tellin' em
they need to buckle up.

This is gonna be a bumpy ride.

- 'Buckle up!'
- Don't scare the people.

All this foolishness,
doesn't make any sense.

It's supposed to be happy.

[plane engine revving]

[instrumental music]

Dang..

The things I do for you.

This is so dope.

Yeah.

You think you could get
used to this?

I could try.

Come on, I'm gonna go get
out
of these clothes.

Mrs. Tupay, I am telling you

Jon Jon is behind all of this.

- Behind what?
- Gettin' Tina out of
school.

Earlier today,
in computer science
class

he sent an e-mail
inviting everybody

to a party tonight.

Party?

Here are the test
scores you wanted.

Thank you.

By the way,
have you seen Jon Jon today?

So, what shall we do first?

Get a bite to eat,
watch a little TV..

Take a swim?

There's a pool?

Oh, you know it.

Oh..

But I don't have a bathing suit.

- And?
- And..

I'm just playin'. Hold on.

Bingo.

Yeah, that's it.

Hey, where are you going?

Well, I'm just gonna go
downstairs

and get out of the rest
of this stuff.

Come down after you're done
getting dressed

and I'll tell you what's
on the agenda for tonight.

Wow.

Excuse me.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, say, Mr. Friendly

how many fat people
you got on this plane?

- Excuse me?
- You know, obese, fat people?

How many are on this plane?
'Cause, you know, they're

the leading cause
of planes going down

with all they fat stuff
on one side of the plane.

Fat suitcases,
and all of a sudden, bam!

We going down faster
than an old man without
Viagra.

Charles, will you keep it down?

Down? Your eyelash
is falling down.

We going down.
The plane's going
down.

You're gonna have
to control
yourself.

I got control.
What's wrong with the
controls?

(male #1)
'Nothing is wrong
with the controls'

'but we were afraid that
something like this'

was gonna happen,
so we were prepared for
you.

Oh, Myron!

Does Myron have a bible?

'Cause I'm tellin' you,
I'm getting up

and walking around this plane,
until someone..

Ooh.

- Mama?
- I told you.

Mama.

Don't sass me!

Is that better, mama?

Oh, yeah, they look nice, honey.

Mama?

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- Jon Jon?

Uh, hi, mom.

Oh, how are you doing?

Uh, I'm okay.

Oh. Well,
baby, do you need anything?

Jon Jon, are you there?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm-I'm here, mom.

(Judy on phone)
'I said, "do you need
anything?"'

Oh, no, no, thank you.

I'm-I'm fine.

Okay. Well, you call me
if you need anything.

Okay, sweetie? Mama loves you.

Yeah, love you, too, mom.
Gotta go.

Something just popped up.

I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.

Okay.

So, what should we do first?

Well..

[phone ringing]

Hey, it's Denise
from Platinum Status Records.

- Hello.
- Hi.

This is Denise
from Platinum Status Records.

Is Charles in?

Oh, no, he's out of town
for the weekend.

Oh, no, no.

I can't believe this is
happening to me.

One of the artists he manages,
high top

is signed to our label

and they're supposed to
be in the studio tonight

and I can't find his phone
number to tell him.

[sighs]
Is there any way, any way you
can get in touch with him?

My boss is mad at me
and I don't know what to do.

Huh, well, he's on the plane

for the next couple of hours.

I guess he'll call you
when he lands

or I'll have him call you?

If I'm still here.
They're gonna fire me!

Is there a phone book
or rolodex?

'Anything
with the number in it?'

Oh, yeah, here we go.

What's the..
What's the artist's name?

- High Top.
- High Top.

Oh, yeah, here we go, High top.

8-1-8-5-5-5-1-5-3-2.

Oh, thank you. Thank you!

If there's anything
I can do for you.

'Anything. Let me know.'

[chuckles]
Well, uh.. No, thanks.

What?

You know what?

I just got a idea.

Mark, T, come here!

What's up?

Remember when I said
I wanted this party

to be talked about for years
and years to come?

- Yeah, so?
- What party?

Well, what if we get a few names

like R. Kelly,
uh, Puff Daddy, Mace

just to name a few,
to show up tonight.

Know what, that's cool and all,
but there's one small problem.

You can't get those
people
to show up.

- What party?
- No.

But my Uncle Charles can.

Oh, shit.

And all the numbers
is right here.

Look, y'all go handle all the
food and drink situation.

I got the guest list.

Baby, all I need you to do..

I'm gonna go take a swim

like you said that we would.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Girl, girl.

She is way too uptight.

Look, y'all go check

the cabinets and refrigerators
and stuff.

I'll get started right here.

[instrumental music]

[clears throat]

Yeah, Mace.

Yeah, this is Charles Lester.

Listen, I'm havin'
a little get-together
tonight.

I wanted to see if you wanted
to stop by and bring Tracey.

Yeah, Matthew knows?

Yeah, this is Charles Lester.

I need to test the new shower
head tonight

I'm throwin' a big party.

Yeah, Jumbo.

Apple Salmon, brother,
it's Charles Lester.

Yeah, I was callin' to see

if I can get Ginuwine
down to my party tonight.

Oh, yeah, you can come, too.

Ha ha, alright, see you then.

Peace.

Hey, missy.

'Listen, I need the whole
crew here tonight.'

'I'm throwin' a big party.'

Goddamn.

Look at her.

Look at that body.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

'Jon Jon can't handle that.'

Now, see, I can handle that.

Uh-uh, you can't handle that.

Now, I can handle that.

Boy, do you know what
I would do with that?

What would you do?

Man, I'd take some syrup

and spread it over her..

Pancakes,
you know, the girl needs to
eat

'cause I like my girls thick.

Look, whatever, man, shut up.

Look, I called every big name

in my uncle's rolodex.

They're on their way.
All we gotta do..

Man, y'all ate up all the food.

- What?
- What?

Here, take this
and go get some more snacks

and stuff for the party.

Hurry back!

Matter of fact, take your time.

[instrumental music]

Yo, Jon Jon, I'm gonna
take the car, alright?

Whatever, whatever.

[music continues]

Hmm.
You're workin' it.

Mama, I'm tellin' you,
Jon Jon is fakin'.

Why are you whispering?

Because I'm in class

and Mr. Kumiati is not nice.

I just got off the phone
with him, he's sick.

He is fakin'.

- He's sick.
- He's fakin'.

Oh, now, look,
would you stop it already!

'You're obsessed
with the fact that'

he's house-sitting
instead of you.

Now have you ever
stopped to think

that he could really be
sick,
huh?

'Now you should be ashamed
of yourself.'

I'll be there to pick you
up after school, okay?

Okay, he's fakin'.

Shh.

I know you did not
just shush me.

Boo!

Where are your two
little friends?

I'm talkin' about Mark and T.

I sent them to the store to
get
some snacks for the party.

Why is this so important to you?

'Cause it's fun,
baby.
It's fun.

No, I mean, really.

Why is it so important to you?

My uncle's famous
in his own little
way

and my dad is
successful
at what he does.

I don't know,
I just wanna do
something

that people will remember me by.

Baby, I have a feeling that

nobody you come across
is gonna forget you.

♪ Now baby ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

[rumbling]

Oh, God, please.

Just get me through this

and I won't do no more rumbles.

No more cheatin'
on those contracts.

No more of them sexy
little groupies.

Okay, no more cheatin'
on the contracts

for real, though.

Mr. Lester.
Calm down.

Hey, man, you can't tell me
what to do!

You can't tell me to calm down!

I'm a man with cars, houses,
diamonds

rubies, and stuff!

I'm grown-ass, man.

[thunder crashing]

[screaming]

Mama.

- 'Whoo.'
- 'Whoo.'

- 'This car is phat.'
- 'Yo, yeah.'

(T)
'Why don't you see
what CDs I got.'

'I'm about to play this.'

'Look at these girls.'

Oh, my god, he's, oh!

[women screaming]

[indistinct shouting]

Oh, no!

What did you do?

What did I do? What did you do?

[indistinct singing]

You know, I'm sorry, sir.

It's completely my fault.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

I'm sorry, sir,
it was our fault.

We was just lookin' at some
girls. We sorry.

Yeah, it's not even our car.
Please don't call the police.

- Take the money. Just-just--
- Sir, it's our fault.

No, no, thank you.

[indistinct singing]

What was his problem?

I don't know.
This over $2,000.

Man, Jon Jon gonna bugger out.

You know what? I got an idea.

Don't even worry about it.

♪ The love ♪

♪ I see you this all about ♪

So what you gonna
do after this
summer?

I don't know.
I think I might go to school.

Actually,
I kinda wanna travel the world

and see places, 'cause
I've never been any place.

I think I should
see more of the world

before I make any major
decisions

that might affect
the rest of my life.

- What about you?
- I don't know.

I'm gonna take the
world
by storm.

Ya know, me, Mark, and T

try to get our group
off
the ground

make some albums,
become rich and famous.

You know, stuff like that.

What do you think
will happen to us?

Well, I don't
know,
you talkin' about

travelin' and seein' the world

I'm talkin' about
gettin' the group
together

with Mark and T.

We'll probably chill all
summer,
and either get married

or go our own separate ways
and never see each other again.

Let's hope
for the first thing you said.

♪ Never gonna feel this way oh ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain.

'You'll notice we have just
activated seat belt signs.'

Miami International Airport

is experiencing
extreme
weather conditions

as the result of a storm

moving in from the Caribbean.

So those flying out
of Miami will be
delayed

until the weather clears
up
just a touch.

Our landing may be
a little bumpy

but I can assure you our
landing
will be as normal as any.

Thank you for flying
Gay Way Airlines
today

and enjoy your travel.

Yo, man, how'd that sound?

Uh, I haven't seen weather
this
bad in 20 years, man.

'I don't think I can do
this.
This could be it.'

Listen, Ted,
I haven't told you this

but I love you!

- What?
- I heard you out there.

- You heard me?
- The whole plane heard you!

Oh, for cryin' out
loud.
Turn the thing off.

[screaming]

See, I told you one day
we were gonna die

and today is the day!

Would you stop actin'
like a sissy!

We're gonna land.

Hey, sissy.

I ain't gonna be
too many more sissies.

I'm from the Indian tribe,
the slagahos!

[grunts]

[crying]

Baby, your friends are trifling.

That's Mark and T for you.

♪ Weeping ♪

- Damn!
- What?

I think I told Mark and T
they could use my uncle's car.

Ba-baby, what's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that?

Mark and T can mess up
a wet dream!

If there's trouble, Mark and T
are not too far from it.

Baby, come on,
you're being
silly.

[truck horn honks]

That's them.

[indistinct singing]

[thudding]

- The car got..
- Yo, we can expl..

I can explain.

Explain?

Man, what's there to explain?

You wrecked the car!

Man, it ain't wrecked.

It's just a little
bumper damage.

Man, this a $100,000 car.

There is no such thing
as bumper damage.

Yeah, but Ray Ray
said he could fix it today.

Man, whatever!

We're havin' the biggest
entertainment party

of the century
in a couple of hours.

And did I forget to mention

we don't have the money
to pay for this?

Yes, we do.

Where'd you all get this?

Yeah, where'd you get this?

Man, it's a long story.

Forget it, forget it.

So, you say you can fix this?

Maybe.

Maybe?

That's not what you said
in the truck.

And y'all didn't say
y'all's havin' a party,
either.

Man, what the hell does that
have to do with anything?

Well, I got two lovely daughters

'and matter of fact,
it's they birthday'

and they would love
to come to a party tonight.

Hell, no. no.

Man, this is a strictly
entertainment party, that's
it!

Entertainers!
Oh, my daughters can sing!

They would love
to come to this party.

Maybe they can get
a record deal.

No.

- No way.
- No way?

Okay, well, then,
forget it, then!

Maybe some Beverly Hills garage

somewhere can fix it, maybe

much cheaper and faster.

[clamoring]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Look, the party starts at 7:00.

I thought you'd see it my way.

Okay, now, look,
I'm trustin' you boys

'to take care of my daughters.'

Now if something should happen
to my daughters..

Yeah, that's gonna be our asses.

No! That's your car!

[engine sputtering]

[engine rumbling]

[instrumental music]

[school bell ringing]

Yeah, they were.
The two of them were together.

And everybody
was lookin' at
'em.

She didn't know,
yeah, he take a ride

but they were both in the
club
together last night.

That's right..

I need Jon Jon Harris' address.

He missed class today
and I have to take

his classwork home to him

so he doesn't fall behind.

Honey, just wait a minute, okay?

Like when did you start carin'
about a student fallin' behind?

[phone ringing]

Well.

Honey, like I was sayin',
they got busted last night.

They was watchin'.
Yes, they were.

(male #2)
'Hey, Monique, Monique.'

Alright, see you later.

Hi, what's up with
that party tonight?

I don't even want
to talk about the party.

Okay, I just..
It's real complicated.

Okay, I'll just call you
after practice or
something

to see what's up.

Hello, mother.

Mm-hmm, what's wrong with you?

What?

Hmm, you not actin' normal.

Well, I..

I guess I just feel bad

about accusing
Jon Jon of fakin'.

You know, you're right.

Here he is sick,
and I'm just mad

that I'm not
at Uncle Charles' house.

Can we go check on him?

Make sure he's alright?

Oh, I am so glad
you feel that
way.

Alright, sweetie, let's go.

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

[music continues]

Isn't that Mark Smith's car?

Yep, sure is, mm-hmm.

Come on.

Jon Jon's getting in troub..

Come on. Shh!

Wipe that stupid smirk off
your face.

[grunts]

"And they lived happily..

...ever after."

Hey, Ms. Harris.

Hey, oh!

What's up, Monique?

How's my Jon Jon doing?

Mom. Mom, is that you?

Ohh, yes, it's me, baby.

Mom. I missed you, mom.

Yes, sweetie, boo boo.

Eh, Ms. Harris.

Oh..

...that is so sweet.

Yeah, we came over
as soon as we could

to come check on him.

[groaning]

I-I know Uncle Charles said

no company over to the house

but I got so sick

I called Mark and T
so they could come rescue me.

They're the best friends
that anybody could ever have.

I can't believe this.

So you mean to tell me
you didn't use

Uncle Charles' car to pick
Tina
up from school today?

How could I?
The car's not even here.

You're right.

I'll show you the
car
that ain't

supposed to be here.

Oh, let's humor her.

'Mm-hmm.'

[whispers]
Are they gone?

Ah-ha! What car?

- This look like a car to
you?
- Mama, I seen 'em.

No, you seein' something
else,
but you ain't seein' no car.

Now, my baby in there sick

you just in here trippin'!

I ain't got time for you!

Oh, Jon Jon.

Oh, baby

now that I see
that you're in good hands

and your sister
obviously needs some rest

you call mama
if you need anything

okay, you pooky wooky..

[gibberish]

- Okay.
- Alright, come on, girl.

- Bye, mama.
- Bye, baby.

(both)
Bye, Monique.

Bye, mo mo.

Oh, shut up.

Love you!

All clear?

Alright, we got a few more hours

before people start
showin' up to the party.

Mark, T, y'all go get dressed.

Cool.

[instrumental music]

Babe, your mama
gotta go to the bathroom.

I gotta go make water.

Mama, don't go nowhere.

We're about to get
on a plane soon.

Son, I may not can see
that good, but I can hear
well.

We ain't goin' nowhere,
no way soon.

Just let her go.

She's gettin on my last nerve.

I heard that.

Mama, just make sure
if you're gonna go

remember your ticket

and remember
what gate we're at.

Yeah, okay, baby.
I know right where we're
going.

Mama.

I know, I'm forgettin' it there.

Shoot.

[upbeat music]

- Hey!
- Enjoy yourself.

- Hello.
- How are you? Enjoy yourself.

Go on in.

Go rock yourself.

Where is my mama at?

- I told you not to let her
go.
- What?

You were the main one
talkin' 'bout

"She's getting on
my last nerve."

Oh, you know
your mother's
crazy.

Now I shouldn't
have to babysit
her.

Babysit? Oh.

Speakin' of baby-sitting,
I'm gonna call that boy

and see what the hell's
going on in my house.

Oh, would you stop it already!

Now I'm sure everything

is just like you left it.

[upbeat music]

- Alright, man, cool.
- Baby, look.

- There go Ray Ray.
- Cool, that's the car.

Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

(Ray Ray)
'Come on, babies.'

Ray Ray. Ray Ray!

Where's my car, man?

You said you'd have
it here by tonight.

Chill. I got my best man
on the job.

Now, meet my daughters.

My beautiful, lovely,
lovely daughters!

'Bertha and Heidi.'

Nice to meet you.

(both)
We like him, daddy.

[all chuckle]

Now, I'm gonna
bring the car back

when I pick up the girls.

Now, I'm trustin' you boys.

Take care of my girls..

...or I'm a-take
care of your car.

[laughs]

'Ladies, he's all yours.'

- Ohh.
- Ooh, yeah.

I don't think he's ready
for what's about to get you.

Oh, you think you're
too skinny self over here.

- Don't hurt him.
- Oh, oh, I won't.

I fight gentle.

How you doin', baby?

(both)
Ugh.

Where are you goin'?

What was this?

Man, them is y'all
dates for the night.

- All four of them?
- All four of them.

I'm goin' to the party.

Oh, you look good.

Don't you know
I'm the best girl

you gonna ever have
in your life?

[indistinct]

How I look? How I look?

- I said how I look?
- Alright.

Where is my mama?

Come on, we gonna
go find her. Come on.

- Shoot!
- Right.

Hey, girl, everything is
fine.
No, I'm havin' a good time

and I'm not playin'
with the people tonight.

You know I'm not playin' with
the peoples. You know I'm
ready.

Uh, excuse me,
Miss Ma'am thing.

How may I help you, sir?

Yeah, I need you
to page someone for me.

Sorry, sir,
we don't do that
here.

Then, what
the hell do you do?

I provide in-for-mation.

Okay, well, I got
some information

I provide bitch slaps.

Now you better page my mama.

Fine! What's
the lucky woman's name?

Mabel Lester.

Mabel Lester, would you
please report to Gate 4.

There's someone waiting for you.

Is that fine?

Got your "Someone,"
scary berry.

Mm-hmm, bull, whatever
you talkin' about--

Aah!

Take you and
your scary friend
home.

I'm not gonna let you
mess up my 2000. Next?

This is ridiculous.

Let's just go find her.

Oh, actin' all crazy.
What's wrong with you?

You know, the same thing
happened on our honeymoon.

We had to go someplace
that you wanted to go
to.

Well, I'll tell you what,
you don't have to go

no place with me.

That's fine with me.

Alright, then, fine.
I'll tell you what

how 'bout we go the hell home?

- Fine.
- Oh, fine!

This way.

Ohh!

Where are they?

Find her nowhere.
She always get lost.

Why don't you all go
to the bathroom together?

- Shut up.
- Come on!

- Let's just go find her.
- Shoot!

[rap music]

Hey, Jon Jon. Great party, man.

- Great party.
- Oh, thanks.

Thank you. Thank you.
What's up, man?

- Great party.
- Thanks a lot, man.

[clinking]

Hey!

This is good, baby.
This is real good.

You stuck your foot in it,
didn't you?

- Can you pass me the corn?
- How was your day, baby?

Oh, you know,
Mark Wallace pissed me off

like he always do. Can I..
can I get the damn corn?

You heard your father
ask for corn. Pass the corn!

What is wrong with you?
Sitting here with the
attitude.

All I want is
a little bit of corn.

- How is Jon Jon doing?
- Oh, he's doing much better.

He got Mark and T over there
looking after him.

- Yeah, right.
- You know what?

- You getting real close.
- Mm-hmm. Yes, she is.

I brought you into this world.
I'll take you out.

- Out!
- Out.

[knock on door]

What..

...the hell is going on?

Mrs. Tupay?

- Who is this?
- This is Mrs. Tupay.

She's one of the teachers
at our school.

Uh, may we help you?

I came by to see if your son

was truly home sick today

and as I expected

he's not even here.

As you expected?

That's what I've been saying
all day.

Wait a minute.
You-you've
got to be kidding me.

First of all, Jon Jon is sick.

- Jon Jon ain't sick.
- Shh!

And he's staying at his
uncle's house for the weekend

and it ain't
none of your business.

I hope that
you are happy knowing

that your son's missing
very important days of school.

E-excuse me.

We're very happy
with Jon Jon and his
performance

so if you don't mind,
we're in the middle of
dinner.

- Well, I--
- That means goodnight!

Go on! Get!

I'm telling you, Linda,
where are you?

Man.

Is anybody sitting here?

Well, if they are,
they're awfully
little.

[chuckles]

I love a woman
with a sense of humor.

♪ Now you're giving drama ♪♪

Girl, I'm..
do you smell it, girl?

- I smell it.
- Oh, I know I smell it.

- Oh, we found the mother
lode.
- Thank you, Jesus.

Oh, thank you, Jesus.

Girl, I gotta come here
more often. Mutton.. oh.

[mumbling]

So, you going to the Bahamas?

Well, I'm looking
for my children.

We are going to the Bahamas
or something.

Oh, real.. Why, I don't think
they got too far.

They ain't letting
the planes go right now.

- Oh, really?
- You know what?

Maybe they're in that bar
right over..

- No, o-over there.
- Where?

- Over there. Oh..
- What bar?

Over there.

I don't see 'em.

- Well, I tell you what.
- What?

I'll go with you, keep you safe.

We'll go find 'em.
You and me, let's go.

[chuckles]
Okay. You mean well.

After you.

[indistinct chatter]

(both)
What the hell!

Uh-huh. Girl, I think
I ate too many pieces.

It's easy, you know, girl

'cause I gotta an
olive
in my grill.

Girl, help me
out.
Go take that.

Ooh. Ooh.

Get the bottom,
get the bottom,
girl!

Mmm!

Aah! Girl, I just
said
get the bottom

don't stab me! Dang!

Well, go ask
one of 'em to
dance.

- You ask one to dance.
- You!

At least it'd get
them
away from the food.

Are you crazy?

Have you ever tried to take
a bone away from a pit bull?

Now try and take one away
from Godzilla.

- Mm!
- Mmm.

I got to get the
recipe,
here, girl

'cause I got to take
some of this home,
okay?

Y'all want to dance?

- Dance?
- Sure.

- Go, girl.
- Let's go, girl.

[grunts]

I can't hurt you.
Smack it up. Come on.

Come on, come on.

Hello.

I'm Lisa Layme

from Platinum Status Records.

Is Charles here?

Oh, yeah, he's right on inside.

There she is!

- Where you been?
- Oh, she's drunk!

Mama, come on. We're gonna see
if there's a flight out of
here.

Don't you sass me.

Gay Way Airlines,
where everyone flies
happy.

Have a good day.

There's Rupaul! That's Ru--

Can I get your autograph?
Can I get your autograph?

Mama, that ain't no Rupaul.

That's just Paul.

Oh, my God, just let her
get his autograph. She drunk.

I'm not drunk.

Excuse me, do you
have any more flights

leaving out of Miami
going to the Bahamas tonight?

There are no more flights
going
out this evening from Miami.

Feel free to stay at a hotel
that we provide for you

and we can send you out
in the morning.

Man, I don't want
to be staying in your
little

fairyland hotel.

Mama, don't you know somebody

that used to live in Florida

that had a plane or something?

A cousin, a..

Uh...oh!

My cousin, yeah.

Yeah, he live in,
uh,
um, um, um

Fort, um..

- Fort Lauderdale?
- Yeah, that's it.

- We can walk over there.
- 'It's an hour and a half.'

Unh-unh. I'll go get a limo.

No. We'll go get a cab.
Come on.

- It's your mess.
- Bye, Ru!

♪ Baby guy must be crazy ♪

♪ Yeah it's true ♪
♪ It's true ♪

♪ He's so unstable why did you
go and meet me.. ♪♪

- Mmm.
- Mmm..

(Mr. Harris)
Je t'aime, ma chere amour.

I don't know
what you're
saying..

...but it's working for me.

[both chuckle]

Eww!

What?

- The dishes are done.
- Good.

I was wondering--

(both)
No!

Can I use the car
to go to Yolanda's house?

Look, it's-it's kind
of late, isn't it?

Daddy, it's Friday night.

[whispering]
Please? Please?

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and go.

Go straight there,
and no hanging out!

A-and call us
when you get there!

And cover up, girl!

Now, where were we?

Somewhere in France..

...down South

Compton.. I don't know.

[both laugh]

[beeping]

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

(Jon Jon on phone)
'Hello?'

I know you're up to something.

Now, I haven't figured out
exactly what yet

but you can't fool me
with that sick bullcrap.

'Hey, dad, I'm okay.'

[coughing]
'It's just a little hard
to talk right now.'

- What are you talking about?
- 'Okay, dad.'

'Thanks for calling.
Love you.'

'Bye.'

[Jon Jon coughs]

[engine cranking]

Son of a bitch.

[rap music]

- Hey!
- Hey, now.

There y'all go
right over there.

(both)
Eww.

Girl, look at that.

Oh, you can't be serious.

For the first time in my life

I think I am.

Jon Jon, we're about to push up

on these girls over there.

Look, y'all
got one job tonight.

Keep those two happy.

[indistinct whispering]

- Yeah, I'm about to..
- Oh, no, no.

Oh, no. Where you going, baby?

Where you going?

Wait a minute.
You kinda strong.

- Do you work out?
- You kinda handsome.

'Cause if you're not working
out, we walk you back

some refrigerator
from the couch.

Yo, man, can you get up
to Fort Lauderdale tonight?

Oh, yeah, but
y'all better hop
in

before it starts raining again.

Yeah. Come on, mama.
Let's go. Come on.

Let's go. Come on.

Whoo.

[instrumental music]

Yo, man, can you please stop
that windshield wiper

from rubbing that dry ass glass?

It's driving me crazy.
Turn it off!

It stopped raining
20 minutes ago.

Now that you mention it..

...have you ever seen
a talking dog?

I had me a talking dog once!

[laughing]
I loved that dog.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, well,
I once had a cat that meowed.

[laughing]

Man, I don't want
to hear any of your

animal captain-kangaroo
weirdo stories.

Man, just peace and quiet, man.

I just want to drive
in peace and quiet.

Peace and quiet?

Peace and quiet is good

but it doesn't
stop the voices,
man

'cause the voices,
they just keep getting
louder.

And they keep
getting
louder and louder.

[both laughing]

Uh-oh.

♪ Hey now ladies
guess who's back? ♪

♪ LDB Romeo and Bat ♪

♪ For the 99 it's phat stack ♪

♪ Yo ra-ra
about to rip the track ♪

♪ You took my heart
and ran with it ♪

♪ Why you so damn scandalous? ♪

Taking over, okay?

More the fun,
baby.
More the fun.

♪ Oh my God what'd I do? ♪

♪ I'm caught up
in your game with you ♪

♪ My best friend's girl
what a shame ♪

♪ Why'd you play
these silly games? ♪

♪ Try to put the blame on me ♪

♪ I always knew
you were a freak ♪

♪ I seen you looking
right away ♪

♪ Girl you got a bomb body.. ♪

Look at my man. He look good.

♪ You're like my sis
never thought it would be ♪

♪ But there was something that
you did when you looked at me ♪

♪ That made me wanna
get a little bit freaky ♪

♪ Then I started thinking
about my boy he said ♪

♪ What would he do if he knew ♪

♪ His homie
was creeping with you? ♪

♪ You ♪
♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ We never should
have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never ♪

♪ He can never know
never know ♪

♪ Get up and
get your stuff girl ♪

♪ You must go ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ We never should
have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend.. ♪

Girl, who needs all
your attitude like that, girl?

You better check yourself.

Somebody better
come get this
girl.

♪ Immature come on
dance with me ♪

♪ Romeo Batman LDB ♪

♪ Everybody come on
dance with me ♪

♪ Come on come on
dance with me ♪

♪ Can't forget Chris B-Z ♪

♪ Everybody in the house
dance with me ♪

♪ Everybody in the house
dance with me ♪

♪ Come on come on
come on come on ♪

Girl, I'm trying to tell you
'cause I know

one would gift-wrap one of
them
and take me one of them home.

♪ Keep it on the low ♪
♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ We never should
have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪
♪ Never know never know ♪

♪ Get up and
get your stuff girl ♪

♪ You must go ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪
♪ On the low ♪

♪ We never should
have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪
♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

Girl, what you pushing on?

- Excuse me,
- Not your man, girl.

♪ We never should
have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪

♪ Whoo yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪
♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ We never should have
did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never ♪

♪ He can never know
never know ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Keep it on the low low ♪♪

[all applauding]

[women screaming]

[tires screeching]

- Hey, yo, what's up, Monique?
- Shut up.

[all applauding]

I'm gonna go get a drink, okay?

(Lisa Layme)
Boy, oh, man.

Your uncle never told
me
that he had a nephew

with all that talent.

Is that what this is all about?

A showcase for his new group?

- 'Right?'
- Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I didn't
see him all night,
huh?

Exactly.

- We need to talk.
- Okay.

'Cause you fellas can sing.

Oh, we do a little
somethin' somethin'.

Oh, I-I love your look, too.

- Thanks a lot.
- Yeah.

So you guys have a name?

Well, not really.

Huh, well, let me see.

What would you call

a group of young city boys?

Because you guys
are just fantastic,
hot.

- We need to go forward.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

[snoring]

[dramatic music]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[whispering]
Mama. Mama.

Look. Look.

This is the killer.

That man is the killer.

[indistinct chatter]

Mama, look. That's him.

Okay, we gotta tell Charles.

He's asleep. Wake-wake him up.

Ow! Damn.

What?

Something wrong with your neck?

You got heartburn?

'Girl, what's up,
what's up? What?'

Hey!

[dramatic music]

Uh, man, pull over.

I need to pee. I need to pee.

'Yeah, my bladder's
about to explode.'

'Please pull over.'

You interrupted me.

I hate being interrupted!

We have to go to
the bathroom,
too.

'We gotta go, too.'

I'm not there yet.

I'm not there yet.

We're gonna get there.

Mama, you know him as Bill.

Use your girlish charms.
Now you gotta suck up.

Just be patient, okay?

Come on. Talk.

Bill..

Bill..

- Bill..
- Hi, Mabel.

Bill.

'Can we pull over
and go dancing?'

Oh, Mabel, I'm gonna pull over
in a little bit.

'I got a special place
I'm gonna take you to.'

Oh, alright.

Oh, mama!

Uh, there's a talking dead dog
in the street! Look!

Aah!

Who would do that to a dog?

Whoever would hurt a talking dog

is a dead man!

Hey, man, dogs
are man's best friend.

Don't anybody move!

Don't move.

Aah.

(Charles)
'Mama, you better come on.'

Oh, my God!

He gonna kill us.

He gonna kill us!

- Oh, I can't!
- Yeah, yell louder, girl.

All he got to do is
get to someone's house.

Come on, mama. Come on!

Damn! Oh!

I'm gonna kill 'em!
I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em!
I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em!

Mama, what kind of little
raggedy crop-dusting plane

has your cousin got us on?

This is cousin Herpes' plane.

- Herpes?
- Yeah.

He been flying
for three whole
months.

Oh, God, mama,
three months ain't long enough

to learn your damn name
let alone fly a plane!

Well, we'd be in the Bahamas now

if it wasn't for you,
'cause you're so cheap.

- Cheap!
- Yeah, I got your cheap.

Remember that when
you're shopping, woman. Cheap.

Hey, y'all need to get
up
and quit that stuff.

Hey, hey, mom. Hey.

- Got a word for you.
- What?

Tic-tac.

Finally get a chance
to be alone.

Finally.

Baby, I think
we got a record deal.

- Get out of here.
- No, I'm serious.

What? And what
about Mark and T?

I haven't even told 'em yet.

- What's up, man?
- Monique is here.

- What?!
- What do you want me to do?

I don't know. Keep her occupied.

Take her by the pool
or something.

Unh-unh. Not this time.

[rumbling]

Your cousin need
to keep this plane straight!

Straight!

[droning]

'Straighten it out.'

[instrumental music]

So, what do you have
against Jon Jon?

- Everything.
- Really? Like what?

Well, first of all,
he faked being sick

so he could
house-sit
instead of me

and then he doesn't even
invite me to the party.

Who said he didn't invite you?

He didn't send an e-mail
out to everyone but you.

'You just took it that way'

'and, I mean,
Jon Jon's your brother.'

Is there anybody
that can have fun with him

shoot, it would be you.

You're so stuck on being jealous

about him having fun
with his life

'but you can have fun
with your own.'

And that's nobody's fault
but yours.

You're right.

[all whimpering]

Look at that.

Oh, mama!

What? I'm scared.

♪ Now you know
we good to go my niggas ♪

♪ We came and he's still
my nigga ♪♪

♪ Wanted you to come back to ♪

♪ My room so we could spend ♪♪

♪ Come on nobody does
it better ♪

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

(Charles)
'Jon Jon!'

Uh, hey, unc.

What's all that noise?

Oh, no. No. That's-that's
just, uh, the TV.

Well, we came back early.

So I need you
to come pick us up.

- In-in your car?
- Yeah, in my car.

Oh, well, I don't think
you want me to drive

with me being,
still being sick.

Boy, you better be sick.
I was just playing with you.

You better not touch my car.

- I'll be home in an hour.
- In an hour?

Bye!

Damn, where's Mark and T?

There you are. Whoa. Whoa!
What's wrong?

We're trying to hide
from Bertha and Heidi.

Look, I got some good news

and I got some bad news.

The good news is
we might got a record deal.

Look, but the bad news is

my uncle's on his way
in an hour!

- What!
- Yes!

Look, y'all start cleaning up.

I'm gonna go and try to get
these people out of here.

Excuse me!

My uncle would like to thank
everybody for coming

but he's got to go to bed now

so everybody has to leave.

Excuse me! Hello!

All the food and drinks
are gone!

[record scratching]

(male #1)
It's gone? Let's get outta
here.

[indistinct clamoring]

[instrumental music]

Ok, I put your auntie's
alpha back up.

The house is clean.
Everything's back to
normal.

Good. Ray ray.

Just the man I want to see.

- Where's the car, man?
- What!

My girls called me and told me

y'all didn't
introduce
them to nobody.

They didn't introduce us
to no-body.

But the kitchen.

(Ray Ray)
Oh, my poor babies.

I thought they said that they
was having them a party,
girls?

- Oh, go, daddy!
- Here we go.

- Drop, daddy! Drop!
- Drop it on down.

[indistinct chatter]

Wait, wait!
What about the deal?

Now, you ain't got no deal.

I said I would
fix the car and I did..

...but you gotta pick
it up
your damn self!

- Yourself.
- Heidi and Bertha.

Let's go! Let's get
the hell up outta
here!

Outta here! Outta here!

Come on let me out
the back-end box.

- Damn!
- What's going on?

- I don't even know.
- So now what?

Look, Ray Ray fixed the car

but it's back at his shop.

Y'all take me over there.
Come on.

Oh! Oh, boy!

I am glad to be home and I hope

that boy got my house straight

or I'm gonna
break him up some, too!

(Linda)
Shoot, it takes about
45 minutes to get home

and you got a lot of breaking
off to do with me. Hmm!

[engine running]

Alright.

Bye, baby.

[rap music]

Oh, turn that up a little bit.

Ooh, I like that.

Hmm. We just got back
off vacation.

Oh, really? Did you
all
have a good time?

Oh, yeah. We had a ball.

We just can't remember
what we did.

[instrumental music]

(Jon Jon)
'Come on. Come on.'

Get-get over!

Charles! Charles.

Isn't that Jon Jon in your car?

(Charles)
Yeah, mama, and that's

Patti Labelle riding
shotgun in the front seat.

Oh, I like Patti Labelle.

Gosh, I hope
grandma didn't see me.

Oh! She probably
won't remember anyway.

Move over, girl.

[sighs]

[music continues]

[grunting]

Charles, did you tip him?

I got a tip for him.
Don't eat yellow snow.

- Hey, unc!
- Hey, what..

Uh-uh, get your sick ass off me.

How rude, you.

- How's my car?
- A-okay.

Is that your sister over there?

- Hey, unc!
- Hey, baby. Come here.

Mm! Good to see you.
How you doing?

- Fine.
- Good. Good.

- Jon Jon--
- I can explain!

Told me to come pick him up

'cause you were
coming home early.

[coughing]

Boy, how's my house?

It's just like you left it.

Good! Better be.

Well, good. I'm going to bed.

Good night, Jon Jon.

Ooh, auntie, that's cute.

Thank you.

Warm up them videos.

[chuckles]

- Hey, nana.
- Hey, baby.

Drive careful, and
this time be careful

with Patti Labelle. Okay?

Shut up!

So who's gonna give me
the rest of my money?

(both)
Shut up!

[telephone rings]

Yeah.

(Lisa on phone)
'Charles, boy,
you did it again!'

'I just wanted
to call you and tell you'

'what a wonderful time I had'

'and how it was such
a money-making experience.'

(man on TV)
'This is the man that
police in Florida say'

'is responsible for multiple
unsolved murders.'

(Lisa on phone)
'I'm sending over to you'

'a contract on Monday.'

Yeah, okay..

Mm-hmm.

(man on TV)
'The killer, who is
yet to be identified'

'was working as a cab driver.'

'Witnesses say
he's on the prowl'

'because someone killed
a talking dog.'

'More news
after these messages.'

(Linda)
'Charles!'

'I'm saddling up!'

Oh, baby, here I come.

You did not talk to me
the whole way here.

Why did you help me?

I guess I had to.

You are my brother

but you best believe
your ass is helping
me

get out of school next week.

(both)
Sequel.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh somebody let out one ♪

♪ Ha ha ha haa ♪

♪ I'm goin' down to Jon Jon's ♪

♪ And have me some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute
let's have some fun ♪

I'm sure I did.

Mark, T, come here!

- What's up?
- Oh, Lord..

What's crackin', homies?

[all laughing]

[clanging]

[chuckling
]
Yo.

[indistinct chatter]

[clanging]

[laughing
]
Yo.

[indistinct chatter]

I'll be there to pick you
after school, okay?

♪ When I pulled up in my ride ♪

♪ There was four fly girls.. ♪

- Little bitch.
- 'Cut!'

Oh, God, he's gonna kill us!

- He's gonna kill us!
- Come on, mama.

All we gotta do
is get to your cousin's
house.

We're in Fort Lauderdale.
Come on, mama!

[grunting]

I'm gonna kill 'em,
I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em!

(Mama)
Aah! Wait for me, fool!

Oh, please, I..

- What's up?
- Get off me.

(male #2)
'And background action.'

Oh, where are they?
They was over here.

It's the right gate.

Hey. Anybody sitting here?

Well, if they
are,
they're awful
little.

Ohh, no! I love a woman

with a sense of humor!

Hey, watch it, buddy.

Hey, you going to the Bahamas?

Yes, but I'm
looking
for my kids.

They're over in the Bahamas..

We're going to the Bahamas
or something.

Oh, you want mommy
to take you to the
doc--

No!

No, I hate doctors.

[panting]

Oh.

Oh, I guess you are sick.

You want mommy
to take you to
the--

No!

[laughs]

Now do you think
you can go over

to Uncle Charles' house, huh?

And wrestle with a werewolf?

Maybe.

Oh. Okay.

Well, all he
needs
is somebody

to watch the house
for the weekend,
okay?

I'm gonna beat your ass, kid.

[straining]
I can make it.

Oh, no, no, baby.

- Mama getting a bib.
- Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh, oh.

Now I'll make you feel better!

[both laughing]

- 'Cut.'
- 'Marker.'

Calm down, girls.
Now don't get excited.

And I'm gonna say
that I wanted to.. We ready?

Uh...okay.

Now when I come back to pick..

What's the line?

Now these are my two beautiful

voluptuous daughters,
Heidi and Bertha..

Bertha and Heidi. Ohh!

Girls, girls.

♪ But I really was
lookin' at your friend ♪

Don't hurt 'em.

There she is, there she is.

I brought you in this world

(male #2)
'Watch out! And I..'

There she is.

I brought you in this world,
I'll take you out.

(male #3)
'Ready, and action!'

♪ I was lookin'
at your friend ♪

[clinking]

Hey!

It's real good, babe, real good.

You stuck your foot in it,
didn't you?

- Could you pass me the corn?
- Mmm, how was your day, baby?

Well, you know, my boss pissed
me off like he always does.

Can I get the damn corn?

You heard your father,
pass the corn!

What is wrong with you?

I'm just trying to get some
damn corn and you're sitting--

Can I get some corn, what's up?

Here. Get your own plate, boy!

You're supposed to be somewhere
sick! Make no sense.

I know that you weren't
sick.
Mama..

Ray Ray, just the man
I wanted to see.

- Where's the car?
- What?

Boy, my daughters
called me and said

that you all didn't even
introduce them to nobody.

Nobody but the dogs.
That was wrong.

- I ain't saying anything.
- Dog?

I thought they says
they was having them a
box?

♪ Go daddy go daddy ♪

♪ It's your birthday,
it's your birthday ♪

♪ Get your freak on
daddy now go ♪♪

Hey, well, what
about the deal, man?

You ain't got no deal.

You.. No, wait.

I'm gonna pick up from there.

[laughing]

(male #3)
'Keep going.'

You ain't got no deal.

Ohh, he has his meat, baby.

Mmmmm.

♪ I'm going down to Jon Jon's ♪

♪ And have me some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute
let's have some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Minute? Is that the name
of the picture? ♪

♪ I done forgot again ♪

♪ I'm sorry the bucket's
all messed up ♪

♪ And they ain't got no money
and they got me up here ♪

♪ Trying to do a song
with no money ♪

♪ I can't remember
what I ain't getting paid ♪

♪ Speaking of money ♪

♪ That's down to the last
minute on the budget ♪

♪ On the money
Oh man I'm telling you ♪

♪ Money hurts when you
ain't got no money ♪

♪ Can't talk
can't remember nothin' ♪

♪ Hoo I feel confused ♪

♪ Please help me oh boy ♪

♪ Maybe I need to go
to the house party ♪

♪ Or something I just
don't know what happenin' ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Them Spanish people
got the love ♪

♪ Down in Tijuana ♪

♪ Down in Tijuana ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Ooh them Orientals got too ♪

♪ Smelling farts ♪

♪ Oh my goodness ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Ooh took this laxative
I gotta run ♪

♪ And must be on the studio
not getting paid ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ It's out where's my check? ♪

♪ Hello? Cash.. ♪

♪ Somebody pay me ♪

♪ Hello I can't
stand this I'm broke ♪

♪ I'm walkin' I got diarrhea ♪

♪ It ain't working
for Mama Stokes keep goin' ♪

♪ I didn't wanna put
Mama Stokes in there ♪

♪ Erase that out ♪♪