Original subtitles

[Opening Music]

[Car brakes screech]

I just wanna thank you two

for coming along to Winery Crawl World.

Yeah, it means the world to us.

- Of course, this will be fun! - Is there gonna be wine there?

Course!

You know, for us old geezers it's nice to see you

young fellas taking an interest in what we do.

Going to Winery Crawl Land is a tradition

that goes back heaps

fucking far and shit.

Like, yeah, like four years or something.

- Right? - I think four and a bit,

yeah that sounds right.

Yeah. How about some driving music?

This is a classic Super Duper Group

from the 70s called Mind Explosion.

It's got Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan,

Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney,

Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney, -

Isn't this fun? Reminds me of that time

when you did that funny thing.

What funny thing?

You know. Remember? That funny thing you did.

When? What are you talking about

You know. You did that dance

and then I spilled my drink.

(sigh) Babe, I love you

but you really need to be more specific

when you tell stories.

Half the time I got on idea what you're talking about.

- Oh, ok. Sorry. - Alright.

Just a bit of advice.

George Harrison, Paul McCartney -

Mwahahahaha.

They don't know that I'm actually under the car.

Lets go!

Now it's my time to strike,

I shall follow Sarah and buy the golden wine,

so she will finally love me.

Hmmm, how did I get up here?

I think it was this way?

Here is it, Winery Crawl Land!

Why is everyone here so old?

There's not many places where Boomers

are accepted these days.

Oh, yes, it's terrible for us.

Yep.

So we have to rally together to protect ourselves

with a tribal mentality.

We can't let the genetics

of the great superior boomer species

die off forever.

That's why William Winery Wino made this theme park,

so we can all come together.

God rest his soul.

God rest his soul.

Oi! I'm not dead.

Oh, It's a figure of speech, calm down!

Oh! Look!

The line for the Winery Slip and Slide Race Ride is short!

What have I told you about running.

And it looks like the last contestants

are now ready to go on

the slippity dippidity winery ride.

So, seeing as you guys are not boomers,

you're going to have to ride on one of our backs.

I recommend riding on my back

because I'm the one who is going to win.

Ok.

What do you mean you're the one that's going to win?

How do you know that for certain?

Pfft. Obviously I'm the one who is gonna to win.

Well, I could win as well.

Right, ok, yeah, we'll see about that.

It's alright mum, how about I come ride on your back?

Oh, thank you, darling.

Pfft, whatever.

Alright, contestants!

On your marks,

get set,

go!

[Dramatic Music]

Woo, I won!

What do you think about that?

You betrayed me.

You knew I wanted to win.

Oh, stop it.

You're being ridiculous, it's just a race.

You knew I wanted to win.

- I'm bored. - Yeah, this is kind of stupid.

Oh, check this out, there is a club under here!

- Let's go. - What, really?

Oh cool, that looks fun.

Let's go there.

Alright, Round two! This time I'm gonna win.

Hmm... I appear to be lost.

You're not allowed to be here, Human.

Excuse me, spider companions

but I am just trying to find my way out.

The huntsman king will know what to do with you.

It all comes down to this final round, folks.

Sarah's Mum vs Sarah's Dad.

Whoever comes first,

wins the winery grand-prix trophy.

Go!

See Rachel, this is why I like coming along

to adventure with you and my parents.

Fun cool places like this always get discovered.

I'm loving this track, too.

It's got a good kick drum.

Snare is a bit shit, though.

Sorry that I'm late, I was just at my other job

being an announcer for the winery race.

Anyway, we don't technically have

an alcohol license at this establishment,

so let's all get munted on the fumes

of Sarah's Dad's back instead!!!

Yew!

[Fumes hissing from floor]

Are these fumes making you dizzy, Rachel?

Nah, my tolerance is too high.

Aww, he's kind of cute don't you think?

- No. - His hair is blue, like a wave.

That's why they call me Wavo, woo!

Oh my god! He heard me. That's so embarrassing.

Who gives a shit, just go and fucking talk to him.

Sorry!

I was just complimenting your hair.

Nah, I don't mind.

That's why I learnt how to read lips

and I'm loving reading yours.

Heh heh.

(Shy giggle) You should play the song

I think you're, um, kind of, um, cute haha.

Oh, I actually think I have that song.

[Slow romantic song]

What is this song?

It's different, I, I don't like it.

This is not the normal song!

This is not the normal song I am used to!

So. You figured out the facade I've set up.

By changing the song, you have ruined it.

What are you talking about?

It's simple.

The song that was playing over and over

wasn't just any ordinary song.

It was a hypnosis song with binaural beats

hidden inside of it to give all the patrons here brain fog.

You see,

I found a bunch of schizophrenic people on Craigslist

and invited them to this secret club,

so I could harvest their most purest precious essence -

Schizophrenia!

What I then do is I get my Nano Bots

to crawl onto their skin with tiny syringes to steal

their pure schizophrenic juices.

And they are none the wiser.

It was the perfect plan.

Then you two knuckle heads had to come along

and ruin it.

Why do you want Schizophrenic juices for?

Oh! It's the secret ingredient for my energy drink.

Loopy.

Loopy!

Get stuck in a loop with a can of Loopy.

(singing) Loopy! Get stuck in a loop. Loop!

Ok, we'll just get out of here then.

- Yeah, we'll just go. - Oh, you can't leave,

you have interrupted my supply chain

for at least three months

and you know too much!

Now you're going to have to be my schizophrenic subjects.

Where is the Huntsman king?

Hmmm, he must be busy.

The problem is, he's got like two other jobs.

He's the announcer at a slippery wine race thing.

And he's also just started up this club on a boomers back.

And, he's just a hard worker and he has lots of jobs

but he's our spider king and we love him

and he'll be back soon to tell us what to do with you.

I'm sorry about this.

Oh, ok. I don't mind waiting.

(Awkward pause)

So... what do you want to talk about?

[Dramatic music }

Oops, one second.

I have to rush back to my other job, one second.

Oh - It looks like it was a tie

between Sarah's Dad and Sarah's Mum.

You know what that means!

Fight to the death.

You guys do that.

I just gotta run back to my other job, one sec.

Time to finally make ya schizophrenic, Sarah and Rachel!

No!

Lovely wife of mine,

it's time for you to die.

Not before I rip your fucking head off, cunt.

[Dramatic music]

Wait, I've got it!

Quick, Sarah,

tell that story about when we went to Sydney last month.

Oh, you mean when he got that thing,

that um yeah, yeah, what was it called?

What are you talking about?

You know, um, oh, what's it called again?

No, I don't know actually - what -

Anyway. We all went across the road.

I have no idea what you're saying.

[Dramatic music]

And then - oh, so yeah,

it was really fun birthday party.

Oh, thank you!

You could have mentioned it was a birthday at the start!

Take that, cunt.

Argh! (gibberish)

Sarah, thank god for your quirky, quirky brain.

Oh, you're the best bestie ever!

Argh!

[Splat]

Argh!

You lodged your wedding ring in my eye.

Wait,

wed-ding?

[Romantic music]

What are we doing?

We shouldn't be fighting.

We should be loving each other.

I love you.

Aw, come here.

(baby voice) I wuv you, Mummy wifey.

I'm sowwy I punched you before.

It's ok, mummy wifey forgive you.

Thank you!

Can I have some of mummy's milkies, pwease?

Sh, sh, sh, not now. Later when we get home.

Oh, yay, thank you. I love your milkies.

I love your milkies.

I know you do!

Wait, where have you girls been?

We had our own adventure.

Did you guys have fun?

Not only did we have fun, we rekindled our marriage.

Please, can I have my milkies, please, can I -

- Please, please, please, - Stop it!

- can I have some. - Stop it!

You know I learnt something today...

Fuck, I forgot it.

Me too.

This isn't like him.

He's usually on time to work.

I wonder where he is?

Oh my god, dude!

He died on the job at the club he works at.

I just got an email blast.

The king is dead?

That means we can finally shed this facade

and be who we really are.

We're not spiders -

We're sexy sassy squid people!

Um, no I'm actually a spider.

Oh?

I guess you can let me go now.

I'm technically still on the job, so no.

I'm going to stick you to that fan belt

so when the car starts up you'll die.

See ya later,

I am going to go after that sexy sassy squid, haha.

Oh no,

I need to escape before Sarah's Dad turns on the car

and I get ripped to shreds!

[Dramatic music]

Lucas?

Oh, um, how did I get here?

Haha.

How bout some more Brain Explosion music?

Oh, I forgot I was listing off band members.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney,

Paul McCartney, George Harrison.

Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney -